Chapter 12: Lonely Heart

He was glad to finally be home by evening the next day as Conrad's fever had become worse. When he woke up that morning to the sunlight, he realised that Conrad was not burning... his body was cold. Gwendal had to ride slowly so not to jolt the injured about.

Gunter almost had a heart attack at the sight of his bruised and battered student. Never in his life did he imagine he would see Conrad in this condition.

No one thought Conrad would face this.

Yuri, though heartbroken, supported Wolfram as the blond's legs failed him. Haggard and ragged Gwendal said nothing as he carried Conrad to his room, accompanied by a shock, but calm, Gisela.

Wolfram, loss of all strength, cried. That night he held Greta in his arms but would not answer why he was crying or even why she could not see Conrad. Yuri, though he wanted to cry as well, was by their side through it all. It was rare to see Wolfram break down like this, and it was painful. Greta held on to both her fathers that night. The three supported each other.

Yuri had sent a letter to Lady Celi, knowing Conrad may need her more than ever.

Sorrow has a human heart

Gunter waited outside Conrad's room, praying for his student to recover. His knuckles were bleeding due to hitting a stone wall in his anger. Yosak stayed by his side. Though he knew his presence was not exactly comforting, it was better than to leave the distressed teacher from hurting himself even more.

From my God it will depart

Conrad had been in this position before, fighting for his life, and it angered Gunter to see his student like that again. Yosak had brought the news to them about Conrad's retrieval the day before. Though he had warned them that Conrad was in bad shape, this was far worse than anyone would have imagined. No one could understand why Yuri did not cry. They came to the conclusion that their king was too sad to cry.

Gwendal understood...

Gisela understood...

It seemed to be a miracle Conrad had survived two days worth of such cruelty and came out alive even if just barely. The discussion of the miracle occurred in the Shinou Temple between Murata and Shinou.

I`d sail before a thousand moons

"Is this your doing?" Murata asked Shinou. His best friend shook his head, "If it was, he would not have suffered so much..." Neither he nor Yuri had told the Daikenja about their supporting Gwendal through the pendant. It had been dangerous to do so, particularly for Yuri who knew he would get a lecture from Gwendal about it later.

"But that did not mean you had no involvement at all," the Daikenja stated.

Never finding where to go

Shinou grimaced. It was true that he implanted the Black-Folds' hidden location in Yosak's mind... It was true he consoled Conrad while he was imprisoned... and it was true that he and Yuri gave Gwendal the strength needed when he faltered. In all this, he could only do so much. He would have saved Conrad himself had he the power.

"I only did what I could do," he told Murata.

222 days of light

Murata nodded. "It's up to him now, isn't it?"

Shinou nodded.

Will be desired by a night

Yuri's heart tore further apart at each passing hour of the long night, but he was determined to remain strong; Conrad, after all, was Wolfram's older brother and his godfather. He himself cried when Shori was kidnapped and nearly killed by the White Crows.

Gwendal refused to budge from Conrad's side as Gisela healed him the best she could. Dawn came before Wolfram and Greta got to sleep under Yuri's watchful eye. He then brought in fresh clothes for Gwendal. The man nodded gratefully before he went behind the screen and changed.

A moment for the poet`s play

He return to Conrad's side refreshed and continued to be there for Conrad, helping Gisela where he can. Yuri, knowing his place, went back to be beside Wolfram and Greta as he knew Conrad needed Gwendal more than he needed his king.

Three days passed...

Even under the greatest care of the Royal Healer, though the gangrene, blood, cuts and bruises have been cleaned, and that stomach wound healed, Conrad's condition was no better than before. He lay in bed, asleep without a hint of life. Several times she checked his pulse, and ran her maryoku over his torso.

Gisela became more and more frustrated as she toiled over the brave soldier. The others waited until she finally could not hold it inside any longer. "It's almost as if..." Gisela hesitated.

"What is it?" said Yuri gently. If Gisela was surprised by Yuri's gentle tone she did not show it, instead she relaxed and answered, "As if he had little will to live..."

For a moment, no one moved or spoke. By the tears in her voice, it seemed that Conrad had faced ultimate defeat and was ashamed enough that he wished to die. His body reacting to the shame. Yuri understood. The fear within the heart, wanting to return but cannot seem to find the strength to do so.

Yuri stepped forward then. "May I?"

Gisela nodded. Yuri clasped his godfather's cold hand and delve in trying to find the right spot – to hear his voice. There was none. Yuri frowned and withdrew himself.

Were they too late?

"Yuri...?" Wolfram asked.

"Gisela's right..." Yuri murmured.

"He's entered the state of mind commonly known as the Lonely Heart," Gisela explained, "It's the state of mind and heart the patient enters due to depression and loneliness, there little I can do."

Gisela closed her eyes, "In other words, he is no better then brain dead."

Until there`s nothing left to say

Silence. There was nothing to say...

"If Saralegui were here with his Houseki sword..." Yosak suggested.

Yuri shook his head, "I doubt even that would help him, this the will we're talking about, not the soul."

I wish for this night-time

"What's the difference, Papa Yuri?" Greta asked.

"Your will to live is often defined how strong your heart and soul is," Yuri explained, he turned towards Gwendal then, "from what you told me three days ago, Conrad's heart was tested in ways he was probably unprepared for."

"Yuri," Wolfram fumed, "You know Conrad's not weak..."

"Of course, he not weak," Yuri said, cutting off his fiancé, "I never said he was, but he's... alone, he always been alone!"

to last for a life-time

That drew silence from Wolfram, and everyone around them. This was something not one of them had realised. Conrad was there for them, but no one was there for him. Yosak had been there in Luttenberg, but Conrad remained reserved for fear of being a burden.

The darkness around me

"The only way is to dive into the deepest part of his soul and coax him out..." Gisela explained.

"I'll do it," said Yuri before she could finish. He had been through something like this before, saving Geneus from his own depression.

- shores of a solar sea

"But your majesty," Gisela warned, remembering the Geneus incident in which Yuri was almost killed, "It would take much power from you."

"I'm not alone," Yuri told her, he nodded his head towards Conrad, "and neither is he."

Surprised looks turn towards him as he smiled. Did he not say just now...?

"He has us..." Yuri told them, "Our faith, and our trust..." he took a deep breath then, "and most of all, our love..." he paused for a moment, "We need to show him that."

No one said anything more as Yuri sat once again beside the bed. His left hand grasping Conrad's cold right, and his right hand where his godfather's erratically beating heart was. His palm then began to glow. It was the same glow that emitted when he turned into the Maoh. Yuri closed his eyes and delve into the deepest part of Conrad's heart, silently calling him.

He felt a faint presence.

He knew it was Conrad!

Oh how I wish to go down

It was reluctant, but Yuri understood... somehow he had to coax the presence to resurface. There was fear from within the presence... and shame...

It faded.

with the sun

Yuri pulled away, tired. He was not about to give in very easily but he did not have the strength to dive within again. He felt a hand on his shoulder. Yuri looked behind to find Wolfram, determination mixed with love carved in his face. His green eyes told Yuri that he was never alone. Greta reached one hand up to Wolfram's hand and the other took Gwendal's. Her brown eyes filled with determination as well. Gwendal nodded. Yuri pulled a tight smile and delve back into the depths of the lonely heart of his godfather.

Again he felt the presence, but it was faint.

"Yuri...?" a familiar voice murmured.

"Conrad," Yuri murmured, "You're not alone. We're here for you."

Sleeping

Yuri felt as if he was reaching out his hand... the presence was there again, but it was hesitant.

"Uncle," Greta called, "Uncle Conrad."

"Conrad," Yuri called, "we're all here..."

"I'm useless..." the presence faded again, "how can I face you again...?"

Weeping

"Koonichan, come back to us," Wolfram whispered, tears slowly creeping out from his bright green eyes.

"We love you..." Yuri called, feeling the presence returning. It was hesitant, but Yuri could feel it growing.

"Captain," Yosak murmured, "You're not alone here..."

"We love you..." Yuri repeated, "Come back..." the presence grew... and became less hesitant...

"Conrart..." Gwendal called quietly.

"Wake up, Conrart," Gunter murmured. Yuri's strength was draining.

"Conrart..." Gisela called.

Yuri heard the others, their voices... Gunter... Gisela... Wolfram... Gwendal...

Yosak... and little Greta...

With you

He gently called again, reaching his hand out, "Do you hear them? They're calling for you..."

"Yuri..." Conrad called, "Minna..."

"I'm here... We're all here..." Yuri soothed. The presence seemed to glow... radiating emotions... flooding through Yuri: sadness, loneliness, gratitude and joy.

A hand reached out, Yuri gently clasped the hand into his. The presence was becoming stronger then, slowly but surely... Yuri looked up.

Out from the shadows... was Conrad... he was crying...

The glow from Yuri's body had not faded. It was joined by another glow, starting from his hand near Conrad's heart and became brighter until both godfather and godson disappeared into the blinding light.

Joy filled Conrad's heart once again. The warmth of Yuri's hands... the voices... Yosak... Greta... Wolfram... Gwendal... Gunter... and Gisela...

"I'm not alone..." Conrad murmured.

Yuri smiled at his godfather, "No. And you will never be alone again... I promise..."

Tears of happiness welled in Conrad's eyes, knowing the faith Yuri had for him...

"Let's go home..." Yuri soothed...

Conrad nodded. He closed his eyes as did Yuri, their bodies began to glow together... heading home...

where they belonged...

The glow around Yuri faded. He opened his eyes, took his hand away from Conrad, stood, and staggered. The glow that surrounded Conrad's body and faded into his heart as Yuri's knees buckled.

"Yuri!" Wolfram exclaimed, catching the Maoh. Yuri shook the dizziness away from his head as he slowly stood with Wolfram's help.

"I'm fine," he panted, assuring Wolfram, "Just tired."

Conrad did not appear to change as Gisela checked him over again. A tear of relief escaped her eye. "His heart is beating normally again," she announced.

Stunned silence... then...

"You did it, Papa!" Greta squealed as she hugged Yuri and gave him a huge kiss. Yuri smiled tiredly and shook his head saying, "I could not have done it without everyone here."

He vaguely noticed the tears escaping Gwendal's eyes. Or Gunter's, or Wolfram's. Yosak wiped his left eye. Yuri looked towards his godfather. Conrad was coming back to them...

Okaiiri-nasai, Nazukeoya...