Criss didn't return home that night, as much as his conscience told him to go back home to Gabby he couldn't bring himself to

Criss didn't return home that night, as much as his conscience told him to go back home to Gabby he couldn't bring himself to face the nightmare his life had become. After spending the night sitting in his car going over every word and every sentence, once, twice a hundred times, Criss finally brought himself home. For some reason even before he opened the door he knew she was gone. There was an emptiness that radiated from the threshold even before he entered the room. Gabby was the light and driving force in his life and now she was gone and he couldn't bring himself to go after her. As he walked through the door of the penthouse an eerie silence passed over him, he walked to the bedroom to find Gabby and all of her things gone. He knew she'd left, he knew she'd left before he entered the parking lot. Criss sat on the bed and stared at the floor, he couldn't bring himself to do anything. He sat there for a long time just staring at nothing at all and finally after feeling as though a part of him left with her, he fell asleep.

Criss awoke the next morning reaching out for gabby, when he found nothing but air the events of the previous day came rushing back to him. Reality struck him heard in the chest and he struggled to find the will to get out of bed. It felt as if a tuck were laid on top of him, every time he tried to pull himself out of bed a force stronger than him pushed him back down. Criss didn't make it out of bed that day or the next day for that matter.

Costa stood at Criss's door knocking for a good ten minutes before he decided to let himself in. As soon as he crossed the entrance of the luxury suite he knew something was wrong. The once happy environment that emitted from the home was no longer there.

"Criss? Gabby?" he called not really expecting to get a response. He hadn't spoken to Criss in two days, which for this time of the year wasn't abnormal, but something in him told him all was not well at the illusionist's home. Costa searched the home finally ending up at the bedroom, the door was left ajar, he slowly peered in just in case someone was home. Costa stared at his brother for a full minute before he reacted. Criss looked awful, his cheeks were sunken in from lack of food and the beginnings of a dark beard had formed on his face. Criss lay sleeping, not deeply but distressed as though he wasn't sleeping at all. Costa walked to the bed and shook his younger brother, "Criss? Wake up man!"

Criss lazily opened his eyes and stared into his brothers' worried eyes, concern written all over his face.

"What the hell is going on? Where's Gabby? Why are you sleeping at 4 in the afternoon?" Criss looked helplessly at his brother and tried to sit up, Costa not believing that his little brother was having trouble getting out of bed rushed to help him and sat down next to him. He looked at him questioningly wondering what was going on. Criss knew he had to explain, knew he had to tell Costa what had happened but he couldn't. He couldn't get the words to come out; it was if he'd lost all vocal capabilities.

"Come on man I know you can tell me, what the hell is going on?" Costa pressed again, he couldn't get over the fact that his brother, his invincible, unstoppable brother was having trouble forming a sentence. Criss knew what his brother was thinking and pulled the words from deep inside himself.

"Gabby has cancer. She left. She might not make it." Criss looked as though he was hearing it for the first time, he had shocked himself. A wash of emotions suddenly came over him and he found it difficult to breath. Tears streamed down his cheeks in an unstoppable flow, he'd been holding in the tears, trying to push them back because he knew that if he let them flow it would make it real. Costa stared at him in amazement; he couldn't believe what he'd just said. Cancer? It wasn't possible. Costa knew there was no way in the world he could begin to comfort his brother with any thing he could say so he wrapped his arms around him and hugged. Silently.

Gabby sat in the familiar room as she had every week for the past four months waiting for the Chief to come in and access her current condition. Only this time it was different, she was alone. Somewhere deep inside her she'd always known that it would end this way but there was always a part of her that held a small amount of hope that it wouldn't. Cancer wasn't something that was easy to deal with especially when you have had to deal with it before. It wasn't fair to ask Criss to do it all over again and that was exactly why Gabby had left. She had to deal with this on her own and even though she was carrying his child her cancer wasn't his burden to bear, it was hers.

And bare it she would. The Chief walked in suddenly pulling her from her thoughts, he smiled at her as he always did but something made the lines in his forehead crease together.

"How are we feeling today?" he questioned looking into her dark blue eyes.

"Oh, just fine thank you." Gabby smiled politely just wishing he would get the inevitable over with.

"Where's Criss?" There it was she thought. Gabby let out an exasperated sigh and looked towards the ceiling.

"I left, it was too much for him." The chief looked at her knowingly and put his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry about that Gabby, please if there's anything I can do…" He trailed off not knowing how to finish the sentence; Gabby nodded and thanked the Chief. Gabby laid down as the Chief began to examine her; he checked her blood pressure and felt her stomach to make sure everything was progressing along as it should. He stopped briefly to glance at the monitor and his face-hardened as he looked more intensely.

"What is it?" Gabby said getting up to look herself. The chief quickly turned off the monitor and stared at Gabby.

"I want to take your blood I'll be right back." He turned and was out the door before she could protest. Gabby ran all the possibilities of a blood check through her head and none of them lead to a happy conclusion. This is the moment when she would normally break down and cry but now she didn't feel that she could. All the energy had been drained from her; all the emotion that she once possessed was left behind as soon as she made her way through that door. Her one purpose in life now was to take care of her child, to make sure that she was okay. Nothing else mattered. Not even Criss, she would have to do this without him and that was okay. The Chief came back in with a syringe and started on his task.

"So what's the damage doc?" Gabby said teasingly, the Chief looked at her with no hint of humor showing on his still face.

"Gabby…" he sighed. Gabby rolled her eyes and placed her hand on his arm. "Listen to me Steven," she'd never called him by his first name before, he looked at her in stunned. "I know what I have and I know what my odds are. Tell me what's going on and stop keeping secrets from me."

The Chief sighed, "It's spreading. Quickly." Gabby closed her eyes for a long moment before reopening them and looking directly at him. "Thank you. Now, we still have two months till this baby comes out. How long would you say I have?"

The Chief stared in disbelief at her nonchalance but gave her what she wanted, the truth. "Six months, at best." She smiled. "That's plenty of time." Gabby lifted herself off of the table and reached up to pat the chief on his shoulder. "Its okay Steven, it doesn't always work out how you planned but," she shrugged her shoulders "what are you gonna do?"

And with that she left.

It took Gabby everything she had in her not to drive to Criss' but that's the way it always was when she was leaving the hospital. She was always fighting the selfish part of her that told her to just go to him and beg him to come back to her. That part of her was always present but on the days when she felt her most desperate, that's when the urge became unbearable. She took the same road she always did; it was second nature to her now. It didn't require any conscious effort and that way she could be alone with her thoughts. It seemed that the only time she was ever alone was in her car. Gracie had become unbearably clingy over the past months but who could blame her. Ever since her and Gabby moved out north there wasn't really much to do. Gracie was aware of her sister's odds of living, as she had always been. But now something made it more serious, more final, it was if the past didn't count.

Gabby finally pulled into the dirt lot and got out of the car. She stared momentarily at the sunset and sighed thinking about the nights Criss would hold her on the balcony and watch as the sun set on another perfect day. Gracie stared at her sister from the front widow wondering what she could do to pull her sister out of her silent depression. Gabby turned around and headed for the door.

"How did it go?" Gracie asked not really wanting to know the answer. Gabby knew that the truth didn't always go over well with her. So she lied.

"Great, everything looks perfect." Gabby never saw the point in lying, Gracie always saw right through her but if it made it even a little bit easier for her Gabby would lie through her teeth. Gracie stared at her older sister; she was lying again for her benefit. She needed to do something for her sister, she needed to fill the hole she saw gaping in her heart. She knew what she would do and it would go against everything Gabby wanted. But she knew it was the only way and in the end it would be the best decision she'd ever made.

Two months later.

"You know man, I've sat by these past two months without saying a word but I'm done. What your doing is wrong. You need to go to her. She's carrying your daughter!" Criss stared at his brother is disbelief. As if he wasn't doing anything to correct the biggest mistake he'd ever made in his life.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Criss said as the anger rose to his cheeks.

"What the hell am I talking about he says. Gabby! What else would I be talking about? You haven't even tried to contact her!" Costa shook his head. He couldn't believe that his brother was being so irresponsible, so cold hearted.

"Are fucking kidding me Costa? Contact her? I've been all over this damn city for the past two months trying to find her. Her house is empty, she has no address under her name, her cell phone doesn't work and she doesn't work at the hospital anymore. And besides that no one there will even talk to me. I don't know what else to do." He sighed and put his head in his hands when he looked up it was to stare directly at his older brother. "You know what the worst thing is? That in the end, if I don't ever find her, if I don't ever get to see her face again, if I don't get to hold her one last time, I'll know that it is completely and utterly one hundred percent my fault." Costa had no words for his brother and in the past few months he never felt as helpless as he did right now. He watched his brother week after week, watched how with each day he became more and more sullen. And with each week he lost more hope at finding her. Costa had always been able to comfort his younger brother in anything he might be facing. But this was something that couldn't be pacified, something that couldn't be soothed.

And just when it seemed as though all hope was lost there came a knock at the door. Criss rose from the couch and composed himself as best he could; he opened the door to find Gracie standing with her head down eyes red. Criss immediately dropped to his knees and struggled for air.

A/N: There are only two (longer) chapters left! Sorry its taken so long to update but thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I truly appreciate it!