Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight!

Thanks so much for your kind reviews! I appreciate every bit of feedback that I get and I'm so glad that so many people like this fic. Almost to 200 reviews! I can't believe it! Haha.

And a random bit of info - I really find that I like reading in the ½ format of the page. It's up there. Just click on it and…yeah. I dunno, I just like reading fics that way for some reason. Maybe y'all will like it too. Haha.

Anyway, here's chapter eleven! I hope you like this one!

Long Road to Ruin
Chapter Eleven: If Only You Knew

Jasper.

I didn't know what to think as Bella towed me along, her pale, bony fingers clasping against my wrist. The cold that emitted from her was almost painful, like freezer burn, but I didn't mind it. I actually welcomed it. Anything that would allow me to touch her, despite the pain, would be fine with me.

She tugged me along, like a mother making a child go forward.

We arrived at a restaurant a few minutes later, the Olive Garden that I had tried to drag Mike and Jessica to. It was somehow ironic. Bella looked at me with her smoldering eyes and smiled, "This okay?"

"You're…taking me to eat?"

Bella looked at me, her eyes excited, yet wondering. "Yes. That's where you were going anyway, so why not?"

"So it's like a date?" I cheekily asked, hoping that she would get the joking tone in my voice.

The brunette beauty smirked and said, "Maybe."

I felt my heart do a small somersault as she walked into the Olive Garden. I greedily watched her walk away, trying to be nonchalant about it, but coming off as a lovesick puppy longing after its master.

I was so damn pathetic.

The waitress met us as soon as we got in the door and gave us an overtly bright grin - one that I found slightly creepy - and showed us to our table.

It was one in the back, away from everyone else. I idly wondered if we had been placed there due to our appearance. I was wearing a pair of rather baggy jeans that hung off my slender hips and a band t-shirt. Not necessarily the best items of clothing to make the restaurant to look good to other people. Bella, however, looked impeccable in a crème colored blouse and a pair of dark jeans. Not a drop of blood adorned her clothes, and I wondered how that was avoided.

We sat down at a table. Being the good Southern gentlemen I am, I pulled Bella's chair out for her to sit in and walked over to my end of the table. I sat down and then picked up the menu, my stomach grumbling at my neglect for it.

I looked up, focusing my eyes to look at her impossibly perfect features as I quirked a brow, "Aren't you going to eat?"

Bella shook her head, a strand of brown hair falling in front of her face as she did so. "Special diet, remember?"

Oh.

Right.

I cleared my throat with uneasiness as I read over the items listed on the menu.

"Anything to drink?" The waitress suddenly appeared out of no where. I almost jumped. Bella laughed at my expression and looked at the pretty blonde who was eyeing me.

"Uh, yeah," I said, the twang in my voice apparent, "Dr. Pepper, please."

"And you, miss?" She said, and even I could hear the edge of jealousy to her voice.

"The same." Bella said, her eyes never leaving mine.

I felt myself grow flustered and I looked down at my menu. "Can I go ahead and order as well?"

"Of course, honey," The waitress said with a voice that I found increasingly annoying and nasal.

"I'll have the shrimp alfredo…" I said, subconsciously licking my lips as my stomach rumbled yet again.

"Alright. And for you?" She turned reluctantly to Bella. And the animosity in her gaze was enough to make me want to hit a woman for the first time in my life.

Okay, maybe not the first time. Lauren had earned that train of thought from me one too many times to count, but I had never acted on it. A true man never raises a hand against a woman, is what I've always believed.

"Nothing for me, thanks." Bella said. Her gaze was still on me. I wondered what I must have looked like, for her eyes were amused and kind at the same time.

"I'll be back with the drinks."

With that, the blonde waitress was gone, leaving me and Bella alone.

"What was that about?" She finally said, her eyes wondering and curious all at the same time.

"What do you mean?" I replied, looking at her with a quirked brow.

"You glaring daggers at that poor woman the whole time." Bella's eyes were light and carefree as she looked into my own chocolate brown ones, "It was quite interesting. Very intimidating, but apparently some people can't be swayed in their advances by just a look."

I was? I hadn't even realized that I was directing a glare at the waitress. Hm. Strange.

Strange, but not surprising in the least. I felt a very dominant urge to protect Bella. No matter what, I wanted to protect her, though her performance earlier tonight was proof that she didn't need or want my protection. She was very capable of defending herself on her own. A part of me liked that, but another part was disappointed. Disappointed because I wanted to be the one to protect her. I guess it was that Southern in me coming out again. Wanting to protect the damsel in distress.

One thing I knew, Bella, however fragile she may look, was definitely not a damsel in distress. Not after the ass whooping she gave those thugs in the alley. I felt a disturbed shiver roll down my spine as I recalled the incident. My eyes focused away from hers for a moment - I realized I had been staring at her like she was the last person alive - and I looked around the place.

Classical music drifted around the place. Not my cup of tea, per say, but it was pretty, I had to admit that at least. The whole place smelled lightly of garlic and wine. It was a very atmospheric place, the lights dimmed and subtly lighting the richly painted walls and mahogany wood tables.

I inhaled deeply, relishing in the scent of cooking food.

"Smell good?" Bella asked innocently, maybe trying to get me off the subject of why we were really here, maybe not. I never could tell.

"Yeah. I'm starvin'." I told her with a light hearted gaze.

She grinned at me and the breathtaking nature of it made me feel like I had been punched in the gut.

"I just ate." Bella said, her light colored eyes teasing me.

"Really?" I asked, wondering about the inflections in her voice, "What?"

She was feeling bold, I could tell, "Deer."

I could tell this was meant to shock me, but I felt nothing other than my stomach growling again. "Really? You don't look like a deer kind of gal. Me? I love some deer sausage. Mm…"

She blinked, confused, and realized that I hadn't gotten whatever she was trying to imply to me. I guessed she thought I would think that eating deer would be weird, but I actually enjoyed it.

She looked a bit downtrodden and unsure. I wondered what that was about and I glanced at her slightly, through wondering eyes, "Are you alright?"

"Yes," Bella said, her tinkling voice soft and ringing in melodic harmony with the classical music, "I just wish I had a better way of telling you…"

"How you're superwoman?" I joked; Bella smiled but the extent of it didn't reach her eyes. I felt bad at not being able to make her smile with all her might, and I also felt bad for making a joke of something that was clearly a big issue with her. So I apologized, "I'm sorry."

"No," Bella said, her eyes warm now, "I appreciate the attempt at trying to make this a light situation when it is anything but."

"What do you mean?"

A flash of images pervaded my thoughts.

The day I had been saved by a hungry cougar. By Bella.

All the days I spent dreaming, questioning my sanity. Because of Bella.

The day I was reunited with Bella, not looking a day over the age I had first met her at.

Tonight, in the alley. The sharp snap of bone as Bella broke the thug's arm. The longing look in her eyes as she watched the blood flow around him. Her speed, the way her footsteps were perfectly in sync with every graceful, fluid movement.

And the fact that she had been shot - several times, my thoughts shouted at me - and had survived. The bullets had been reflected off of her as if they were small balls of paper, flattening in the process.

She was alive.

Alive as what? I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure that anyone could be sure if they had seen the things I had become witness to in the small expanse of my life.

"You understand." Bella said, more a statement than a question. She saw the recognition in my eyes, the realization on my face, and the utter confusion of my mind.

"It is…complicated." I said, meeting her gaze with my own. Liquid topaz orbs met my stare and I felt a strange fluttering deep within the area of my chest, resonating, reverberating every feeling I had developed so far for this woman.

"You have no idea."

I laughed at that, but it was a slight chuckle, for I realized how serious the atmosphere had become. Tension was binding at us like a straightjacket, and I wondered what was going to happen next.

I didn't have time to ponder anything more, for a glass of Dr. Pepper and my shrimp alfredo was sitting in front of me the next second. I wondered idly where the usual salad they brought out was, but didn't complain. I wasn't a big salad person anyway, and besides, the sooner that waitress was gone again, the better.

I twirled my fork in the food, looping it around the delicate looking pasta, and brought it to my mouth. But a certain sight made me blush as I chewed.

Bella was watching me eat.

I blinked and forced whatever I could get down before reaching to my drink and gulping it down in several large swallows. I felt like a hawk was watching me, for some odd reason. Predatory and somewhat protecting in manner.

"Good?"

I grabbed a shrimp with my hand and popped it in my mouth. I nodded while I had my mouth full before saying, "Yep."

"That's good. I'll pay for it."

"No way!" I protested, looking at her with a confused gaze. "There's no way I'm letting you pay for my food on our first…er, uh…"

"Date?" She provided, her eyes smiling.

"If you say so." I replied, grinning toothily at her.

Bella laughed slightly and reached up, tracing the rim of her glass with her slender, pale index finger. She looked up at me, then her eyes traveled to my glass, which was empty, only the melting pieces of ice left within it. She looked up, a knowing smile crossing her lips and her finger moved slowly down the glass.

"Need a refill?" She said, and with that her finger - just the tip of her index finger - pushed against the side of the glass and it was sliding quickly towards me. It was as if she had grabbed it and flung it towards me, but all she used was her index finger. I caught it before it could go sliding off of the table. But I was still shocked. I'm sure people could do that…stronger, more muscular people, but Bella really…

I don't know what it was about that gesture, the fact that it was really cool or the fact that it should've at least hurt her finger in the process.

I picked up the glass and heard a slight crunching sound. Turning the glass around in my hands, I saw the crack marks and a slight hole the shape of the tip of her finger marring the thick, expensive glass.

I looked at her incredulously and she grinned mischievously, "I guess I don't know my own strength."

"T-Tell me about it." I stuttered like a fool.

"Oh, I don't think you'd want to know about that, Jasper." Her tinkling voice wrapped around my name like a blanket, soft and comforting. The very sound of it caused the skin to prickle on my arms and neck, and a chill to go down my spine.

"I do." I said, challenging her. "Isn't that why you brought me here in the first place? To get answers?"

Her eyes took on a slightly saddened look. Like she had hoped I would forget what she said in the alley. She leaned forward, her eyes fierce and her voice low, "I can't tell you outright, Jasper."

I gulped as I leaned forward unconsciously. Her eyes drew me in, her voice hypnotized me, her scent made me want to drink her in…

"It's dangerous. The world I live in is filled with things that a human - " She cut herself off and looked away, "That you would be hard-pressed to run away screaming."

Human? Run away screaming? What was she talking about?

"I can take it." I said confidently, arrogantly. This caused Bella's eyes to become hard, like stones, as she stared at me.

"No." She almost snarled. "What lives in my world is far more frightening than those thugs in the alley. More dangerous. More deadly. You wouldn't understand the danger you've put yourself in by just being near me like this…"

I didn't dare make a pig-headed comment this time. Bella was serious, and I felt my heartbeat increase, wondering what exactly she was trying to tell me. I think I had it established that she was not the typical girl. I knew that much at least.

But what exactly was going on with Bella Cullen's life that was so dangerous?

"I tried…" Bella started, her voice barely a whisper. I had to listen intently to hear it. "I tried my best to stay away from you…but I couldn't. I didn't want to bring you into my world, but…I just couldn't keep away. Like a moth to a flame, I guess you could say."

I blinked, confused at her words.

"I care about you, Jasper." Again, the chills that resulted from her saying my name threatened to overwhelm me. "I don't want any harm to befall you, but if I stay near you like this then that is almost guaranteed."

I felt my heart skip several beats. Bella…leave me alone? Why would she? She couldn't… I was so pathetically attached to her that the very thought of her leaving was painful; I hated to even think about it, even though the thought only fleetingly crossed my mind.

"I don't want anything to hurt you, but I can't stay away. It's a product of my own selfishness if you get hurt… So I will try to protect you the best I can."

I felt my eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Bella," I still relished the sound of her name on my tongue, "I don't understand."

"You're not supposed to, at first," She said, her eyes taking on a slight hurt and longing at the same time, "I expect you to figure it out."

The confusion was ever-present at the forefront of my mind, "Figure what out?"

The silence that came over us was almost palpable. Then, she spoke once more, "You're intelligent, Jasper. I may not know many things about you, but I know that you are smart." She paused for a second, as if considering her words, how to word her thoughts, "You can easily figure out that something isn't…right about me."

No, no. Everything's right about you, Bella. I just don't understand why you are so damn perfect.

I didn't say that, of course.

She continued, "Consider everything you know about me. The things you have observed. In the past and what has happened recently. Consider that and think about what I am."

"You're Bella." I said simply.

This seemed to touch her, her eyes becoming soft and almost liquid in their appearance. A smile raised the corners of her plump lips and I felt the sudden urge to lean over and press mine against hers. I knew that wouldn't be the best thing, however. The urge didn't leave me, though.

The smile brightened as she reached over and put her hand on mine. The cold seeped through my skin, sank into my bones, and I shivered. She rubbed her fingers across the expanse of the top of my hand and it was enough to make me want her all the more.

"And you're Jasper." She replied after a while, her eyes boring holes into me. I felt my heart start to splutter around inside my chest and felt like a huge dork for having that happen. The very presence of this woman was enough to drive me crazy.

"And we're very different." She finished, her lips quirking in a sadly sweet smile. For the first time, her tinkling voice cracked and the sound of it was like shattering glass, but painfully beautiful as well. I could feel her despair. It was as if it were funneled into me, writhing inside me like some kind of monster. I didn't like it. The very feeling of her sadness at our predicament was enough to make me want to start to cry. The emotions were that intense. I felt them in the air, like her emotions were my own.

Her words - And we're very different - were so sad and self-loathing that I don't think I've heard anything else like it in the very few years of my life. It was enough to send chills down my spine and make me gulp heavily, like I was swallowing the nasty medicine that Mom used to give me when I was little.

We sat there for a while. Suddenly, I wasn't very hungry. My pasta went uneaten and grew cold as the minutes turned into an hour, and then an hour into an hour and a half. Her hand never left mine, and I found comfort in that. She stared into my eyes, and I did the same, trying to find something in that gaze that would explain to me what she was. If she wasn't human - and I was growing more and more certain that she wasn't - then what was she?

"If I guess what you are…will you tell me the truth? If I guess correctly, then will you tell me if I'm right?"

Bella was stunned at my sudden statements, and her eyes still didn't leave my face, "Of course. Do you have an idea?"

I shook my head, "Not a clue. But at least I'll know you'll be truthful with me if I get it right." I smiled in her direction, and felt her emotions ease up. The action of that immediately made my heart feel lighter, as if a lead weight had been lifted from my chest.

Bella smiled and looked at the food that had gone abandoned, "I see you're not going to eat any more. Do you want to head home?"

"Sure." I said simply, rising from my seat. Bella's hand was taken from atop my own and I felt a tingling where my skin had started to get the feeling back. It was like I had stuck my hand in a pile of snow for an hour.

We walked toward the door, after I had left whatever money I had in my pockets beside the checkbook. Apparently, I hadn't noticed that the waitress had came back and deposited that on the table. I was too absorbed in Bella's gaze to notice.

As soon as we were out of the doors, I saw them.

"Jazz! Ohmigod!" Jessica's voice was the first to reach my ears. I looked to my left and saw Bella's features calm and smooth, like a mask, but under the surface I could feel her irritation.

"Jazzy!" Tyler's voice was loud and boisterous as he stepped ahead of Jessica, leaving Lauren behind and walking up to him, "You're alive. Thank God." His face was flustered and I could also feel his anxiety lifting from his form. He had truly been worried about me. Bella looked up at me with a slight grin on her features as Tyler continued his statements, "Mike and Jess came back and told us about what happened, and we went to the alley and there was all this blood…we didn't know who it came from. You and the guys that were there were no where to be found and I just thought…"

"I'm fine," I said, reassuring him and giving Bella a knowing look. "No scratches. Not a thing missing. I'm good."

Angela, Mike, and Ben looked at me with a mixture of incredulity and wonder. Their eyes immediately drifted to Bella, whose hand had found a precarious position within my own once more.

"What is she doing here?" Lauren sniped, her fishy looking eyes glaring at Bella. I felt the surge of protective instincts swell over me as she issued a challenge with her eyes.

"She drove me over here to get something to eat after I got away. We met up outside the alley, and…well, she took me here." I said, looking at the group in front of me. Tyler looked at me and gave a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks.

"Are you going to ride back with us?" Jessica asked. The hope in her voice seemed to strangle me.

"Actually, I was going to give him a ride home." Bella spoke up, her tinkling voice a stark contrast to everyone else's in the vicinity. "If that's not a problem." She turned her gaze to Tyler, her eyes smoldering in intensity.

Tyler seemed to be entranced and he said, "Y-Yeah, that's fine. No problem…Bella, is it?"

"Yes," Bella said, her smile taking his breath away. Lauren looked at her with a stare that would have any other girl quaking in her boots, but it didn't have that result on Bella.

"Tyler!" Jessica protested, "Jasper rode with us, he should ride back with us."

"Jess, this isn't the buddy system. It's not like we're at a club and everyone has to come back together. We all live in Forks, for crying out loud. Jazz will be fine."

That stopped Jessica's protests, and she pouted. I idly wondered what her deal was, when Mike was standing right there, ogling her like she was the hottest thing in the world. Mike wasn't a bad guy. Maybe a little disillusioned, but not a bad guy. She could do a lot worse than Mike Newton.

"I'll see y'all at school later, okay?" I said, giving them a smile to accompany my drawl.

"Alright." Tyler and Mike chimed at the same time. Mike a little to eager to get rid of me, I noticed. But that was okay. If he had a chance with Jessica, he needed to get me out of the way. She had a crush on me for the longest time, I knew.

With that, my group of friends walked away, occasionally giving me a glance over their shoulders in curiosity.

Bella looked at me with a smile and we walked to her car. I felt myself grin and I squeezed Bella's hand with my own, feeling the hard texture to her skin, like marble. Like the many times I had come in contact with the Cullens - hitting Emmett's shoulder, Bella's arm causing bruises on my torso - I had realized this was common with all the Cullens. Even though I had only had this experience with two of them, I had a feeling that they were all like that. They were similar in so many ways, it was uncanny.

We walked to her car that was parked by the alleyway where the events earlier that night had taken place. I felt myself shiver despite myself.

I walked over to Bella's driver's side and opened the door for her. Seemed kind of odd since it was to the driver's side of the car, and that it was Bella driving and not me, but I did it anyway. The gentleman in me, I guessed. I then walked over to the passenger's side and climbed in.

I was met with Bella's smoldering topaz gaze.

My heart seemed to stop in my chest as I met her eyes with my own.

"Just promise me one thing." She said, her voice a gentle whisper in the dark confines of the car.

"Of course." I said without thinking.

"If you figure this out - what I am - and you don't want to be near me…just tell me." Bella said, and her voice was so pained that I felt my heart falter. "I'll understand."

"You don't have to worry about that." I said, and I felt that strange sensation flutter in my chest again, "Because…" I felt myself becoming embarrassed. "I can't imagine not being around you, Bella."

I could practically feel the happiness that surrounded her, penetrating all the other emotions she had gone through tonight. It made me feel happy that I could cause such happiness within her.

"Thank you." She said as she started the car.

I just smiled and reached over and brushed a strand of her mahogany hair from her face. It was obscuring her features from my view, and I disliked that. Any glimpse of her face that I could get was a good one, something I enjoyed. Something I treasured now that I knew that maybe, just maybe we had a change to be together.

Or maybe I was getting to cocky…to confident.

But the words that Bella had told me had been truthful. Her wanting to be with me, her not being able to stay away from me…it was all burned into my memory. I didn't want to forget her words, and I was strangely finding peace that she had no intention of deceiving me any longer.

As long as I figured out what she was, she would tell me. She wouldn't lie. She wouldn't steer me in a different direction.

I suddenly had the undeniable urge to find out what Bella was.

I was determined, and that determination fueled me.

I wanted to find the truth more than anything.

And I knew that nothing would stop me.

End Chapter Eleven.

Chapter eleven is done! Wow, it seemed to take forever, but I have finally finished it. It may not have been what everyone was expecting, but you can't really expect Bella to come out and say that she's a vampire. Haha. That'd be kind of anti-climactic.

Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed this! I know I enjoyed writing it. Bella and Jasper are becoming closer and…yeah. It's just a matter of time!

Okay, so thanks for reading! I appreciate all the support and kind reviews and feedback. Thanks for reading!