Spock found himself in a peculiar situation.
The very fact that his science station was situated in between the communications console and the Captain's chair - has caused him to in effect - feel as if he were a spectator of the human sport called tennis. His neck was giving off a slight twinge as he kept his eyes peeled on the two women in his life who were currently making the bridge a rather tense place, to adequately carry out ones duties.
He turned back to the console in front of him, monitoring the latest information from the planetary scans below and wished that he were alone in his quarters, purely so that he may sigh as loudly as he was wished in order to convey just how tired, he truly was.
His head cocked to the right as he heard his intended speak and if he harboured the illogical tendency to shiver at the sound of a person's voice like most humans were capable of, he was certain that he would be experiencing some form of frostbite on his extremities from the sound of hers.
''Nothing to report. All clear, Captain.''
He once again experienced a cringing sensation in his stomach as the crew members on the bridge held their breath and turned to their Captain.
''Thank you, Lieutenant.''
The crew seemed to shudder together like a ripples in a pond and he switched his focus from Nyota, paying attention to Jim. Curious, how when humans are faced with aggression, they respond similarly in return. The Vulcan in him found this to be a fascinating study of human behaviour, whilst the human side of him wanted to crawl into himself and ignore it all.
How frustrating to constantly be at odds with yourself. It was a battle he fought every day and while his counterpart had urged him to 'do what feels right' he was unsure he could determine how he was making the right choice if he did not possess all the facts before making it.
Which was why he was currently confused and intrigued by Jim, who was choosing to antagonise his intended by responding to her taunts, instead of ignoring her. Similarly he could understand Jim's response; Nyota was after all, severely close to being borderline insubordinate towards a superior officer.
Six days, four hours and twenty two minutes had passed in this manner since he had spoken to Jim that night outside of her quarters. He had taken to splitting himself in half in order to try and accommodate his intended and Jim's emotional needs, his own needs at the moment taking fourth place, after his duties as First Officer.
He ate his breakfast and his supper with Nyota, spending his nights with her in uncomfortable silences and curt conversations, sexual intercourse had taken on a ferocious edge, angry and frantic couplings which concluded with her leaving at the end of the night, somehow even more frustrated than she was before.
His lunches he ate with Jim, at her request that they become better acquainted personally, discussing topics ranging from genealogy and Vulcan history to all the way back to the Time of Awakening. She had eventually probed deeper by making personal enquiries about his own family and for a time, he found a small modicum of peace whenever he discussed his mother.
While he was reluctant to speak openly about the majority of topics she broached, he nevertheless spoke with a sense of enthusiasm when discussing his now lost planet and the inhabitants which had resided there. He never would have envisioned her capable of holding the intellectually stimulating conversations that they had been having recently.
He is snapped out of his musings when McCoy enters the room, the bridge silently watching the man approach the Captain and after a few grumbles in her direction he observes her standing and she turns to him. He is caught watching her and a smirk appears on her face before she is forced to wipe it off from an ominous tongue clicking sound that suspiciously comes from the direction which Nyota was sitting in.
''Mister Spock, Bones needs us. Sulu you have the conn. Don't hurt my girl while I'm away.''
''That was one time Captain!'' he shouts at her retreating back and Spock steps around his chair, his long strides enabling him to enter the turbolift at the same time as her and the doctor.
''Surely this could have waited until after our shift was finished Dr McCoy.'' He scolds the man and he receives a grunt in response.
''You only had another fifteen minutes left anyway, you green-blooded hobgoblin. Stop complaining.''
''Vulcans do not complain Doctor. Furthermore, regulation states that all Starfleet officers remain on shift until their replacem-''
''Its fine Spock, I'm pretty sure the Captain won't mind.'' Jim laughs at the almost-eye roll he gives her. He sincerely hates being interrupted when he is speaking.
''As you say.''
''The three of us are in for a hell of a few hours. Settle in ladies.'' McCoy rasps as he leads them into his office where four chairs await them.
Nurse Chapel is the occupant of one of the chairs behind McCoy's desk and as expected he joins her behind it. The other two seats are logically taken by himself and his captain. Spock notes that in front of him is a tray with an assortment of refreshments and what could possibly be a bottle of alcohol.
''Mister Spock, Captain. We've decided to do the counselling side of this first. We will discuss the finer details on why you want to have this baby together and how you think your life will change after and of course during the pregnancy. Here in this room, you can be as honest or as discreet as you like, I just hope that you can trust me and listen to me when I make objections, or ask the hard questions. We'll start off by discussing your ideas on the process as a couple and then move onto individual sessions.''
''We are in not in a relationship where we can be defined as a 'couple' Nurse Chapel.'' He corrects her and McCoy snorts at him.
''No, what ya are, are a couple of idiots!'' McCoy leans his head back and curses to the ceiling. ''Don't even get me started on the atmosphere you've created on this ship. Everyone is damn near close to pissin' themselves whenever the three of you are in a room together.''
''Why exactly are you involving yourself in this session Doctor? As far as I am aware, as you state on no less than five occasions a day, you are a doctor, not a psychologist.''
''Why I oughta snap off those pointe-''
''Now, now Leonard. Behave yourself. Mister Spock has every right to object to your presence if he feels uncomfortable.'' Christine states and he inclines his head in thanks.
''Vulcans do not feel. Uncomfortable or otherwise.'' He replies automatically, knowing that they have both seen him emotionally compromised on no less than three different occasions. He ignores this.
''Well, Jim doesn't mind that I'm here do ya?'' he observes the doctor looking at his Captain, seeking confirmation.
''Yeah, I don't mind Bones being here, but if Spock –''
''I have no objections, Captain.''
''Fine. Good. I'm staying then.'' McCoy huffs and folds his arms over his chest, a scowl prominent on his face.
''Alright then. Captain, Jim…would you say you and Mister Spock have a good relationship?'' Chapel asks her and he can't help but turn his head towards Jim, who hums before speaking.
''Yes. We might not have been close friends before all this, but he's always been someone I can count on, someone who I know would jump in front of phaser fire for me. I respect and admire him for all of that and more and I, uh, am also really fond of him as a person. So yeah, I think we have a pretty good foundation for a friendship that could last.''
Spock swallows down the impulse to reach out to her, knowing that this session was going to tax his control on his emotions as he was going to be forced to voice them out loud. He is humbled by her words and appreciative of them. His captain is avoiding looking at him, all he can see is her hair covering the side of her face as she leans forward and the rounded shell of her ear, a startling red, no doubt caused by embarrassment at the admission of her feelings. He hastily regulates his internal system, to forbid his own body from showing the same emotional response. He has been practising his control over this function relentlessly, satisfied that he would not give any indication on his face whenever he felt anything remotely humilating.
''I too, share Jim's sentiments. She is a remarkable woman. I regret that I did not come to know her personally before this, however the efforts we have made of late have indeed strengthened our … friendship. We have after all, a chance to make this friendship define us both in ways that we have yet to understand.'' He ends and Jim starts to giggle, they share this moment of amusement together. His chest tightens as she smiles at him.
''Thank you Spock. I think you're remarkable too.'' She nudges him with her elbow, winking at him and he hears McCoy groan.
''If you're quite done kissing ass, let's get on with it.'' He waves his hand impatiently.
''I fail to see how what I have said, could possibly be considered akin to me kissing the Captain's posterior–''
''Literal bastard.''
''Bones!''
''Sorry Kid.''
Spock snaps his mouth closed, once again irritated at being cut off midway through speech. He would make these humans let him complete a sentence if it was his last thing he accomplished in his life.
''Err, well… I can see that you two obviously enjoy one another's company. It's definitely a good place to start. Jim, what made you decide to get Mister Spock involved in this process?''
''Well, he offered. He saw how I was having trouble picking a donor – yeah, Bones you can stop smirking, I hate you for that Klingon one by the way – so when he offered, I couldn't think of a good enough reason to say no. I'm happy to have him as the donor. I'm happy for him to be the one.''
''You just offered did ya? Now why's that?'' McCoy asked and Spock refrained from making a scathing remark along the lines of ''mind your own business''. Instead he took a breath and making sure to maintain eye contact he opened his mouth.
''I saw no reason not to.''
''Well I'll be damned. You have no logical reasons inside that computer-brain of yours that you can think of?'' McCoy asks and Spocks' grip on his knee tightens.
''I have several logical reason as to why I think this is a satisfactory idea. Chief among them being that Vulcans are now an endangered species; it would have been required of me to make a donation at some point in the future and in this instance, I am gratified that I am able to choose who I procreate with, rather than having my partner chosen for me. Doctor, I could list a multitude of reasons, pros and cons to this situation and yet all I can simply and truthfully admit to … is that Jim is my friend. I am pleased to do this for her.''
''You mean you want to.'' The doctor probes at him again and he relents.
''Yes, Doctor.'' He grits out and he feels Jim's hand come to rest on his forearm, a soothing wave of appreciation and happiness transferred lightly through him and the grip on his knee loosened.
''Bones, seriously, ease up okay?''
''I'm sorry Spock.'' The doctor says while reaching for the glass in front of him, pouring himself something to drink.
''Apology accepted.''
''So tell me Mister Spock, I see that Jim touches you quite freely and often. Does this not have a detrimental effect on your telepathy?'' Chapel asks him and he surprised by the question.
''Negative, Nurse Chapel. On the contrary, Jim is amongst the few humans whom I allow to come into bodily contact with me, as she is surprisingly well trained in the shielding of her thoughts and surface emotions.''
''Shit… uh, Bones… did I ever tell you that a crazy old man has been inside my head a few times?''
Spock clenches the metal armrests of his chair so hard its screeches as it contorts and twists.
''You have melded with him?!'' Spock's voice had risen considerably but at this moment he could not care about proper Vulcan decorum.
''What in the ever-loving fuck made you think that was a good idea, Jim?!'' McCoy shouted just as loud and they both pinned her down with their glares, furiously and impatiently awaiting her response.
''It's not a big deal! What the hell. I told him to go ahead as it was necessary to teach me how to shield properly. I didn't pick this up by using magic you know!'' she snarls back at them.
''Melding Captain, is unique to our species as it allows us to connect more deeply with another being. While there are varying levels of melding he did not in fact have to meld with you at all in order to teach you!'' Spock growls.
''The hobgoblins right Jim! How far did you let that old coot wander into your mind?'' McCoy gripes and Jim hisses under her breath as he pulls out a tricorder to scan her brain waves.
''Gentlemen, please do sit back down. Attacking the captain is not why we came here today.'' Chapel scolds them both and Spock is chagrined to find that he was half-way out of his seat, leaning closer to her.
''Thank you Chris!'' Jim folds her arms aggressively over her chest ''Whatever, I gave him permission, it's not the first time and it probably won't be the last. He did it loads of times with other-me.''
''Other-who?'' McCoy asked and Spock stared at his Captain to the point where he was certain a blood vessel in his eye would tear itself apart from the strain.
''Your counterpart and mine regularly melded?'' Spock asked his captain almost breathlessly and Jim nods at him. Spock sits back in his seat and steeples his hands together as he considers this. It disturbs him for unknown reasons. Greatly, greatly disturbs him.
''Hello?! Other-who?'' McCoy asked again and Spock chose to ignore him.
''Ugh, Bones… you know about Spock's counterpart. Is it really too much of a stretch for you to imagine that I have one as well?''
''Wait a damn minute, are ya telling me that there are two of ya in this here universe?''
''No, the other-me died. Something called the Nexus. Other-Spock slammed down his shields like mousetrap when I tried going into that section of his memories.'' Spock heard Jim say with a tinge of sadness to her voice. Spock was now even more distressed at hearing her describe one of the last and deepest methods of melding.
''Jim, gentlemen… can we get back on topic? We're here to discuss Jim having a baby, not her past actions, with whom and why.'' Chapel claps her hands together once and they all reluctantly straighten themselves out properly in their seats.
''Jim, if the procedure is successful how do you think your relationship with Mister Spock will change?'' Chapel asks his captain.
''I don't know really. I guess our friendship would… deepen.'' Jim ducks her head, playing with her hair ''I don't expect him to sit there and rub by my feet when they swell-''
''Forgive me, Nurse Chapel, are you enquiring as to whether or not I will take on a paternal role?'' Spock asks and the nurse shrugs.
He catches his captain's attention by crossing his legs and when their eyes meet, he does not know what to say. He was in all essence, purely satisfied with just being a donor. He did not consider that she might want him to take a more active role in the child's life. Irrelevant. With Nyota's conditions in place – which he forbade himself from dwelling on any more than necessary – he had no right to make promises to Jim which he would not be able to keep.
''Jim?'' he asks her and she bites her lower lip while she thinks.
''Can we come back to that question? I… think we need to have Uhura in here if we're suddenly discussing the possibility of co-parenting between the three of us.'' She mumbles and Spock lets out a soft sigh of relief.
''Okay, we'll pick that up another time. Whether you are pregnant or still trying to get pregnant Jim, I have scheduled you in for these sessions once a week to assess your state of mind. Okay?''
''Sure, Chris.'' Jim responds and Spock agrees as well when asked.
''Spock, do you think Jim would be a good mother?'' He is asked by McCoy and for some unknown reason his captain growls at the man.
''Most certainly. I would not have considered this if I did not deem her suitable. She is kind, caring as well as vastly intelligent and while she is reckless with her own safety, I am certain that she will do everything within her power to protect the child and nurture it satisfactorily. Jim will be an excellent mother.''
He hears Dr McCoy make a gagging noise and Nurse Chapel proceeded to make a noise similar to the captains earlier squawk six days prior – only much, much more quietly. He feels no reason to blush or be embarrassed by this admission as he is simply stating a matter of fact.
''Oh Spock, you're killing me here.'' His captain says, her voice muffled by the hands she currently has placed over her face.
''Clarify.'' He asks, confused by her reaction.
''You … how can you say stuff like that with such a straight face?'' she asks him and his confusion intensifies.
''My face is of equal and adequate proportions. I fail to see which part of my bone structure –''
''No, no… never mind. Ugh, god it's hot in here.'' Jim waves a hand at her face.
He refrains from commenting as McCoy chuckles to himself and Nurse Chapel joins in on the laughter when his captain begins to giggle.
''Humans are such illogical creatures.'' He says to no one in particular.
''One last question Mister Spock and we'll carry on next week.''
''Proceed.''
''Does your family know?''
''Negative. As the decision was finalised only recently I have yet to alert them to this development.''
''Ah, I see.''
''Your tone of voice indicates that you think this may be problematic. I assure you my family will receive the news well. There will be no resistance. They too, will see the logic of my decision.''
''That brand of logic of yours is gonna come back and bite you in the ass, if you don't stop using it.'' McCoy informs him as he sips from his glass.
''Bones, you're doing it again.'' His captain defends him yet again and he feels affronted and grateful all at once.
''On that note – Jim, come over tomorrow and we'll get started with the blood tests and do an egg count, find out when you're ovulating – don't look at me like that! – and also to make sure you're all healthy and able to pop out green-blooded elves.''
''Elf, Bones... elf! I am not having twins!''
''Jim, you know that once I put you on IVF drugs as well as hormone replacements to combat the hobgoblins genes from rejecting it, that the chance of you having elves – plural Jim – is high.''
The mere thought of Jim carrying twins was enough to send Spock's brain into overdrive as he contemplated and calculated the odds. He blocked the feeling of pride this thought brought forth. He decided he would be pleased with this outcome should it come to pass.
''And you Mister Spock. I expect to see you in my office after your shift is done. I'll have a nice little masturbatorium all set up for you.'' He chuckles mischievously.
Spock mouths the word silently as the relevant information floods his mind.
Mas-tur-ba-torium: Noun. A room in which a person masturbates; for example, a private room in a clinic where a sperm donor masturbates to produce semen.
He has lost control. All his practice proving to be futile.
He blushes.
Authors Notes:
What's this I see? Half a slice of bread? No more breadcrumbs? Are we finally getting down to the nitty gritty of it all?
To be fair, it's another short chapter - I have a few interviews this week so alternating between writng this story and trying to brush up on insipid ''where do you see yourself in five years time'' questions from my interviewer. Don't think he'll be too pleased if I tell him that I hope to still be madly in love with Star Trek and slash fanfiction.
Hope you all enjoyed this!