####, forget what my profile says about this being on hiatus. It seems that I've got another one coming.
Shinjuku, the apartment complex that the Wong family reside in
Rika was more than a bit surprised when Renamon entered the apartment, not by phasing in, but by entering from the front door, doing a slow, plodding walk.
"Renamon?" The nineteen-year old sharply asked the kitsune, mildly worried. Her partner gave a dazed look, her posture swaying almost imperceptibly, much to Rika's surprise. "Are you drunk?!"
There was a brief pause before Renamon answered. "Bitch, I might be!" She slurred her words.
Rika shot her partner a annoyed glare. While there was very little she wasn't willing to tolerate or eventually forgive from the people she cared about, she drew the line at vulgar name-calling, among other things.
"Oh, did I touch a nerve?" Renamon said in a sing-song voice, before her expression turned serious, almost grim, and she vanished into thin air.
"Terriermon," Henry gently smiled. "Do you know anything about why Renamon is apparently drunk?"
"Well, I can't ignore the possibility, Henry," The rabbit gave a nervous chuckle, trying to ignore Rika's glaring.
"What did you do?"
"I'm guessing that you're angry?" Terriermon inquired rhetorically. However, he hadn't in his wildest dreams expected Rika's expression to remain level and outwardly calm.
"Angry? No..." Rika replied quietly. Terriermon knew that the redhead becoming snarling and frenzied with white-hot fury was infinitely preferable to her current state of mind, so he decided to tell her everything she wanted to hear. "Care to try again?"
"Alright, well, um... Renamon, me and Guilmon... We... Kinda tried a little experiment..." Terriermon grimaced.
"What sort of experiment?" Takato asked. He wasn't even angry anymore; kinda curious actually.
"I think the technical term for it is 'bio-chemical barrier'," Terriermon replied shiftily. "Momentai, everyone?"
Rika dropped her head into her hand, hoping that the rabbit wasn't saying what she suspected he was.
"So you decided to get Renamon drunk, to find out what she could and couldn't stomach..." Takato said flatly.
Terriermon nodded in affirmation, his trademark smirk returning to his face.
"Where did you three even find someone to serve you drinks?" Henry eyed his partner quizzically. "And where did you get the money?"
As if in response to his question, Takato's face dawned in comprehension. "So that's why Guilmon asked to borrow a few thousand yen last night!"
Takato wasn't sure why Rika and Henry suddenly stared at him with incredulity.
"You lent Guilmon a few thousand yen, and you didn't even think to ask why?" Rika scowled. She knew he wasn't a genius by human standards, but this was still hard to believe.
"To be fair, Rika, the first thing on my mind when he asked wasn't exactly a round of drinks at a bar," Takato pointed out.
"I suppose-" Rika began before being interrupted by Henry's ringing cellphone.
The three of them groaned in exasperation, knowing exactly what it signified, shuddering at the thought of the drunken antics the lightning-fast Renamon could carry out in minutes.
In between her natural speed and agility, and her penchant for roof-hopping... Even intoxicated, their chances of catching up to her were slim-to-none...
"Hello?" Henry tentatively asked, and heard his father's voice.
"Henry, I don't suppose you could explain to me why Renamon suddenly showed up, french-kissed your mother, and disappeared?" Janyu asked, both amused at the bizarre situation and annoyed at it as well.
"As far as we know, she's, well, drunk," Henry hesitantly responded, deciding not to sugarcoat it. For a moment, Janyu paused, and Henry thought he could hear him snickering on the other end.
"Are you serious, Henry? Drunk?" Janyu asked, still mildly amused at the notion. "Yes, her coding is supposed to generate fully functional internal anatomy, but drunk?"
"We think so," Henry replied. "Apparently, she, Terriermon and Guilmon went out for a round of drinks-"
"It was only one drink, actually," Terriermon interjected. Rika stared in disbelief. She briefly considered asking what single sort of drink could possibly have that sort of effect on Renamon, but decided against it; the situation was nonsensical enough as it was.
"What single alcoholic beverage could possibly have that effect on Renamon?" Takato asked, bewildered. "I seriously doubt that you got anything that strong for barely two-thousand yen."
"Suffice to say, me, Lopmon and Monodramon know a guy," Terriermon grinned, nodding sagely.
"Right," Rika wearily drawled, deciding not to argue with it.
Henry eyed his partner, wondering how Lopmon and Monodramon were involved in this.
"We'll have this talk later..." Henry groaned, hanging up the phone.
Suddenly, Rika's phone vibrated in her pocket. She took it out, and saw that the caller was Jeri. To her surprise, on the other end was not Jeri, but Calumon.
"RIKATHANKAZULONGMONZHUQIAOMONEBONWUMONBAIHUMONAND ENIACTHATYOUANSWEREDRENAMONSHOWEDUPANDSHE'SGONECRA ZY!SHETOLDJERISHELOVEDHERANDNOW'STHEY'REMAKINGOUTA NDSHEJUSTVANISHEDINTOTHINAIR!" He frantically cried into the phone, hurting her ear slightly. Rika briefly wondered how he'd managed to press the buttons with those stubby fingers, though there were more important matters to attend to.
"Once more, Calumon, slowly," She told the distraught Digimon, as she hadn't understood much of it the first time. "What happened?"
On the other end, she heard Calumon take a breath. "Renamon showed up, and she told Jeri that she loved her. Then Renamon started making out with her, and now she's gone. What happened to her?" He asked, worried for his make-shift Tamer and for Rika's partner.
"She's drunk," Rika answered flatly, uncertain of how the creampuff would react.
There was a slight pause on Calumon's end. "... She's whhhaaaa!?"
"Drunk, Calumon. You do know what that is, don't you?" Rika inquired.
"Well, yeah, but how?!" Calumon replied. It was one of the things humans did to themselves that he had found best not to make sense of.
There was a slight pause on his end, and she heard Jeri's voice. "Rika... WHY DID RENAMON JUST FRENCH-KISS ME?!" She exclaimed, before trailing off into outraged and frenzied complaints.
"Because she's drunk," Rika bluntly replied, cutting off Jeri's rants.
Jeri paused, trying to process what Rika had just told her. Drunk? Was that even possible for Digital life-forms like Renamon? Certainly, their programming allowed them to generate fully functional internal anatomies, mister Wong had mentioned, but was Renamon actually capable of digesting human food and beverages? And would it have the same effect for her if she did?
She knew that some Digimon at least could eat human foods; Guilmon did so often, and Terriermon and Calumon had likewise, but as far as she knew, Renamon had never eaten anything, nor seemed to need it.
"How?" Jeri flatly asked. After giving it some thought, it was actually rather fascinating to think about.
"Terriermon," Rika responded immediately.
"I resent that," Terriermon interjected, pouting.
"And soon, Renamon's going to resent you," Rika shot back. Jeri assumed that she had been talking to Terriermon, and hung up, deeming the conversation ended. Shrugging, Rika decided to get some answers. "Terriermon, why would you think any of this was a good idea?"
His answer came swiftly. "FOR SCIENCE!"
Takato and Rika blinked in confusion, wondering what, if anything, Renamon getting drunk had to do with science.
Her musings on this conundrum were interrupted when her cellphone ringed again. This time, she saw that it was Ryo.
"What did Renamon do this time?" She asked, shaking her head in exasperation. Ryo hesitated to respond, wondering how she knew why he was calling. He dismissed the possibility of her sending the kitsune as... Too tacky, for either of them to do. A sudden flight of fancy on Renamon's part seemed likewise unlikely, and there'd been no recent bio-emergences, ruling out a Digimon mind-controlling Renamon.
That left alternate versions of Renamon, or even something as unlikely as a human psychic. "Nothing much; she just came in, said hello, started making out with Monodramon, nothing much..." He reported with mild amusement, watching the highly flustered dinosaur gently ask Renamon to knock it off.
"Okay, now she's asked him to Digivolve to Cyberdramon, Millenniumon, Moon=Millenniumon, ZeedMillenniumon, as apparently, 'it'll make it better'."
Rika didn't respond, trying to figure how exactly Renamon and ZeedMillenniumon would do that. Renamon and Monodramon, Cyberdramon or Millenniumon, she could imagine, though it was still disturbing, but ZeedMillenniumon had no physical body, so how could...
She decided that she definitely didn't want to know.
"Yeah, she's kinda drunk," Rika said.
Ryo didn't reply, instead breaking down into fits of laughter. After several seconds, his snickering ceased. "That's... Considerably more mundane than I expected... And she just left."
"Great," Rika grumbled.
...
...
...
Riley honestly thought she had been prepared for this. In-between the Digimon and the D-Reaper, the abundance of alternate timelines and parallel universes she'd had dealings with, and even something as mundanely odd as Henry, Takato and Rika getting into a polyamorous relationship a few years ago, she honestly thought that she was prepared for anything that Hypnos and the Digimon Tamers could throw at her.
How wrong she was.
"Ya know, I-it's not unusual... For a small-town girl to find someone who loved you, the way I do... So what do you saay? Let's... Get it on!" Renamon whispered, her voice slightly slurred, softly caressing a visibly uncomfortable Yamaki's face.
"That's... A very interesting offer, Renamon," He replied, wondering why she was hitting on him with what appeared to be song lyrics. "But I'm going to have to decline..."
Renamon evidently didn't appreciate hearing that, shooting Yamaki as much of a dirty glare as she could. However, her stumbling posture and glazed look ruined any intimidating effect it might have had on him or Riley.
Suddenly, she spread her arms out. Both Yamaki and Riley knew all-too-well what that meant.
"Stond Diamorm!" She exclaimed loudly, before breaking down snickering. Yamaki decided to call Rika while Renamon was (not yet literally) laughing her ass off, and took out his phone.
Seemingly responding to him doing so, Renamon's gaze sharpened, her posture stiffening. If Riley hadn't already decided the kitsune to be drunk, she might've bought Renamon's attempt at seeming sober.
"You... p-plan to interfere with Father's plans?" Renamon asked, angrily-yet-coolly. Unfortunately, her voice was suddenly so slurred that the only words Yamaki understood was, 'Father', if he had heard her correctly, and something about 'plan', which he decided to be utter nonsense.
Riley's expression turned confused. To her knowledge, Renamon had no sort of parentage. "What?" She briefly wondered what Renamon had heard, since she turned to her, shooting her a murderous glare.
"Th-the laws... Laws of... Time and tide melts the snowman are mine, and they will obey... PUSSYCAT!" Renamon drawled loudly, her voice slightly clearer than it previously had been.
Yamaki immediately decided that there was something laughably silly, yet unnerving about a drunken superpowered fox with superhuman strength and speed.
Riley thought that Renamon had said, 'Laws of Time', whatever it referred to; honestly, it sounded like something from a sci-fi novel...
Suddenly, Renamon tensed, as though she had sensed some Digimon Bio-Emerging elsewhere, worrying Yamaki somewhat, though he knew that she likely lacked the presence of mind in her current state to actually respond to that.
"Later," Renamon quipped, before fading away, leaving the bewildered Riley and Yamaki in her wake.
...
...
...
With Jeri and Calumon
"That was..." Jeri stopped, trying to think of words to describe the sensation of being french-kissed by Renamon, of all... Did the word, 'people' apply to this situation, Jeri wondered. Renamon wasn't human, after all. She was on par with humans mentally, but did that mean that 'people' was the term to use?"
"Exciting?" Calumon cheerfully suggested "Uncomfortable? Question-raising? Weirder than finding porn of me on the internet?"
Jeri blinked in disgust and mild belief at the last part. Calumon porn? Who in their right mind would make something like that? Even before that, who in the world even knew what Calumon looked like enough to make that sort of filth?"
"Where did you even learn what porn is?" Jeri asked, worried for her partner's innocence and mental state. Truthfully, she was a bit saddened that he wasn't entirely the cheerful, childlike Digimon he used to be; though she knew that everyone grew up and matured with time, did that really have to happen at the expense of innocence? Wasn't there already enough darkness in the world?
"Society," Calumon simply answered, noticing Jeri's troubled expression. "What's wrong?"
Before the brunette could answer, Renamon materialized in the apartment, much to their consternation, as neither were particularly inclined to deal with drunken antics.
"What now, Renamon?" Jeri asked, mildly peevish, taking a cautious step backwards for good measure, having no real interest in another kiss.
"Iiiiiiiiiii... I am not a p-puny weakling like you are," She stammered. Jeri was a bit uncertain of which one of them she was adressing, if anyone, but she didn't appreciate it regardless of who it was. "I AM ONE OF THE HO-HOMO-HOMUN-HOMUNCU-HOMOSEXUALS!"
"Well, that would explain a lot," Jeri dryly noted. Renamon eyed the girl with an indecipherable look in her eyes that Calumon didn't appreciate, as the kitsune began to approach his Tamer.
Jeri backed away from Renamon, holding up her hands defensively, while Calumon tried in vain to stop the fox.
"Please Jeri, don't rrresissst me," Renamon whispered, dragging out one of the words. "I b-beg of you, allow me to... To... To demonstrate the truth of my love!"
"What?" Calumon flatly asked, skeptical. This was the second today that Renamon was saying that stuff.
"Renamon, you're drunk, go home," Jeri dismissively said. However, Renamon didn't seem to hear her, continuing to approach her slowly, to Jeri's mild discomfort.
"JERI!" Calumon cried frantically when Renamon planted another kiss on Jeri's lips against her wishes, guiding a paw down her shirt.
Both Renamon and Jeri froze in disbelief when Calumon's body unleashed a golden light. Was... Was he Digivolving?! But, that was impossible. Jeri knew that for a fact; having been created as the Catalyst of Digivolution, he lacked the ability to do so himself. So how was it possible? And into what?
Jeri closed her eyes when the light turned blinding. When the light that had passed through her eyelids had faded into darkness, she tentatively opened them again, totally unprepared for the sight that awaited her.
Taking a quick look at the drunken kitsune, she saw that the fox was no less surprised about the newly-minted Rookie floating before them.
Calumon's Rookie form wore a pristine-white toga, draped over his right shoulder, leaving the strange soft-violet markings on his chest exposed, markings that were also present on his shoulders, hands and feet. His hair was soft-blonde, and his eyes wide, blue and icy-cold, glaring at Renamon with dispassionate fury, for her actions towards the woman that was the closest thing he had to a Tamer, a partner. On his back were six set of angelic wings, with one set emerging from his head, and another set at his waist. Around his wrists and ankles were matching golden rings.
"Th-thi-this body... Won't last much longer..." Renamon drawled. Jeri's confusion gave way to mild concern. Did the alcohol have those kinds of effects on Renamon, or was it simply more drunken raving? "B-but like me, you're a Digimon: Digital Monsters like me! Your body belongs to me!" She roared shakily, swinging a half-clenched paw at the angel, who barely seemed to react, catching the sluggish punch effortlessly, with his right hand.
"I do not care what is currently affecting you," Lucemon spoke, as he tightened his hold on her paw, eliciting a mild yelp of pain. Jeri stared in shock as Renamon's paw made a sickening noise. "You dare to come in here, and harass Jeri like that... For these travesties, you will now take the rest of eternity to die. Only then will your pain cease. And you will have better cause for what you have done than I." Lucemon declared coolly, with barely restrained fury, as he and the snickering Renamon flickered, teleporting out.
...
...
...
In the darkly-lit bedroom of another apartment in the same building, Henry was soundly asleep on a futon-bed, with Takato huddled up to him and Rika huddled up against his back.
Had he been awake, he might've felt the energy surges pulsating through the bedroom air as he might've seen the blinding light.
Slowly, the three stirred, blinking a few times, seeing within the dark, a figure floating in the air, carrying Renamon. Takato reached for the lightswitch.
They immediately wished he hadn't, seeing a familiar face from the Demon Lord invasion four years ago.
"Do with this wretch as you wish," He was told by a scowling Lucemon. The three immediately recoiled at the sight, Rika covering herself with the bedsheets. Henry and Takato knew that if Lucemon wanted to kill them, they couldn't do anything to stop him, as their D-Arcs were in their clothes.
-Lucemon quirked an eyebrow when Rika put her arm underneath the sheets, and took out her D-Arc. Takato stared incredulously at the sight; had she brought it with her to sleep last night? Though, he supposed that it was a good thing that she had...
"Bio-Merge Activate!" Rika's D-Arc whirred, and soon, the yellow-armored shaman stood, poised to defend her loved ones.
"Leave immediately, Lucemon!" Sakuyamon demanded. Her speech was slightly drawling and slowed. Henry mused that even unconscious, Renamon's half of the Bio-Merge still influenced Sakuyamon somewhat, leading him to worry whether she could really handle the Ultimate-like Rookie. "I will not allow you to harm any of us."
Surprisingly to Henry, or perhaps unsurprisingly, Lucemon didn't take her demand very seriously, giving a wide smirk in response. "As you wish."
Sakuyamon, Takato and Henry blinked. While the fallen angel's tone was as smug as they remembered, his current response had also seemed... More cheerful or jovial, in a way, than it should have.
"Calumon?!" Takato exclaimed in shock; it was the only explanation he could think of. Sakuyamon and Henry stared at him, wondering whether he was certain. After a bit of thinking, Henry mused that it actually made some sense for Calumon, if he actually could Digivolve, to become Lucemon, as their Attributes, types, and Families were fairly close, though he still doubted it strongly.
Sakuyamon, however, dismissed the thought, as Calumon had been created as the Catalyst of Digivolution, having the power to change the forms of other Digimon, while lacking the ability to Digivolve himself. Though she knew that the Catalyst had been removed from him long ago, he still couldn't Digivolve, having no Rookie-form or Tamer to provide emotional power for...
Sakuyamon froze in mid-thought, realizing that perhaps, there was a Tamer for Calumon; Jeri! The two did hold some strange connection ever since the D-Reaper many years ago, but was it possible, even then, that a Tamer could somehow get a new partner? Ryo had done that, but Agumon, Veemon, Monodramon and Guilmon hadn't been his true partners, Monodramon only becoming that after forcing the Jogress with ZeedMillenniummon, while Leomon had been Jeri's partner.
"I Digivolved from Calumon, that much is correct," Lucemon offhandedly answered, much to the three's surprise. "If it would truly relieve you all of tension and anxiety, I will revert immediately to that creature you know so well," He told them.
Sure enough, his skin was starting to turn pale, his wing dissipated into energy, and soon, the familiar form of Calumon stood before them, with a happy smile on his face.
Calumon wasn't altogether sure what was going on, or why Rika, Henry and Takato was staring at, or why she was Bio-Merged with Renamon, as he couldn't remember anything from when Renamon kissed Jeri waking up in their apartment, but he didn't really care all that much about that, as he was just happy to see them again.
"What's up?" He asked merrily, his expression turning concerned when none of them ceased to stare in bewilderment. Weren't they used to him after all these years? Unless...
Takato and Henry yelped in confusion when Calumon suddenly bolted out of the bedroom, shouting that he was in another alternate timeline, and that he wanted to go home.
Sakuyamon shook her head in exasperation, as this would most likely result in another noise complaint...
"Three-thirtyseven..." Sakuyamon noted, before separating into Rika and the unresponsive Renamon. "Screw it, I'm not going to wait an hour or two, just to watch the sunrise."
With that, Rika crawled into the futon, Takato huddling up against her, wrapping his arm around her waist, while she wrapped her arm around Henry. Slowly, a soft smile grew on her lips.
Soon, the three were soundly asleep once more.
To anyone saying/thinking/feeling that Calumon was OOC, please remember that at the time of this chapter, it's been over six years; people can and will change greatly over that time-span, and only the dead can avoid the most minute of changes.
And about the Calumon porn, I weren't kidding.
...
As for Calumon digivolving into Lucemon, it does make sense, when you compare their statistics.
Calumon/Lucemon
Levels: In-Training (assumed; fits with general power displays)/Rookie
Attribute: unknown/Vaccine (Doesn't rule out the possibility, as even Attributes can change as easily as everything else over a single Digivolution)
Type: Holy Beast/Type: Angel
Family: Virus Busters/Family: Virus Busters