Chapter 12—The Truth

First taking her hand and pulling her to her feet, the Doctor led her out of the flat. To her surprise, once they had left the building, he walked with her around the corner and then stopped short. Taking her by the shoulders, he adjusted her slightly. "Look straight ahead," he said.

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" Rose asked, glancing at him. "There's nothing there."

"Look again," he urged. "And this time, concentrate on the color blue."

After a puzzled glance at him, she did what he asked. And then her eyes widened as suddenly she could begin to see something. At first it appeared to be just a bluish rectangle about ten feet in front of her, but slowly it began to take shape. It looked like a tall, blue box of some type. And then she saw it was labeled Police Public Call Box.

"How did I… how did I miss that?"

"Perception filter," he replied. "Doesn't quite make things invisible, but the mind doesn't process something with a perception filter on it unless you are looking for it, unless you know it's there." He paused a moment. "Do you trust me?" he asked again.

"I told you I did."

"Then come inside with me."

"In there?" she asked.

He nodded.

She stared at him for a moment, her brow furrowed. "Alright," she said eventually.

Pulling a key from his pocket, the Doctor walked up to the box and unlocked it, opening the door and stepping to the side. He motioned for her to go in. Rose walked through the door, stopped short and gaped. The room she was in was enormous, with tall, branching columns and walls that seemed to glow with an inner light. She ran back out and walked around and around the blue box while he walked inside. It wasn't a trick. Outside, it was small, like those old-fashioned telephone booths that had still been around when she was a child. But inside… it was just… impossible.

Well, she told him that she trusted him, Rose thought, and she followed him back in the blue box.

The Doctor stood in front of a glowing column in the center of the room. The size of the room made him look small by comparison, despite his height. "It's called the TARDIS," he said to her. "T. A. R. D. I. S. Stands for Time and Relative Dimensions in Space. It's my ship."

"It's… it's bigger on the inside," she stammered, intentionally not looking at him.

"Yes," he said simply.

Mouth slightly open, Rose walked around the room, staring in wonder at everything around her. "Is it alien?" she asked.

"Yes."

"And you said it's your ship," she said, still not looking at him. "Does that mean you're an alien?"

"Yes," he answered. "Is that alright?"

Her heart racing, she turned sharply and stared at him. He met her eyes, and she saw him swallow nervously.

She didn't say anything for a moment while she tried to process what he had told her. He was an alien. From outer space.

And she was fairly sure she was in love with him anyway.

"Yeah, it's okay," she said finally, and saw him visibly relax. She returned to looking around her. "I've never seen anything like this."

He cleared his throat. "Actually, you have. As a matter of fact, you traveled with me in the TARDIS for about a year and a half."

"Traveled?" she asked. "You mean in outer space?"

"Yep."

"I traveled in outer space with you?"

"Yep," he answered again.

Rose tried to take that in and finally shook her head. "Shareen said that I was traveling with someone, but it was someone else. If it had been you, she would have recognized you."

"No, actually it was me. When we first started traveling together, I looked quite a bit different than I do now."

She blinked. "Really, really different," she said, thinking of Shareen's description. She took a deep breath. "Doctor, if we were traveling together, do you know what happened to me?"

"We were on a planet called Azalea. You were bitten by a worm called a memory worm, by hundreds of them in fact. They have a venom that can cause amnesia."

"And you knew all this time? Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Would you have believed me?" he asked. "And I was afraid that if you got a severe shock you would lose even more of your memories."

She sank down on a bench-like seat near the middle of the room. "Six months. I've been home for six months. Where were you?" It was just a question, not an accusation.

He sat down next to her and took her hand.

"Oh, lots of places," he said, "but I was nearby most of the time."

"Why didn't you come and see me?"

"Because you didn't remember me," he answered. "And I was afraid that the shock of finding out about me could make your amnesia worse, just like I was worried that seeing the TARDIS could have."

"But it didn't. Finding out about you and seeing the TARDIS didn't make it worse."

"But it could have. Particularly at the beginning, when you first lost your memory."

She took that in. "So, what changed? Why did you come back?" she asked after a long pause.

"Believe it or not, Jackie asked me to come back," he said.

Rose stared at him in shock. "My mother asked you to come back?" she asked disbelievingly. "What, are you good friends with her or something?"

The Doctor laughed. "That is not the way I'd characterize my relationship with your mother. But even though Jackie asked me to come back, that's not why I came."

"So why did you come back?" she asked.

"I missed you," he said simply.

"So were we… together?" she asked hesitantly.

The Doctor shook his head. "No." He sighed. "We were good friends, the very, very best of friends, but before you lost your memory that's really all we were."

He took a deep breath. "Rose, there are some things I need to tell you, and I wouldn't blame you if you hated me afterwards, but you need to know. After you first lost your memory, I tried to heal you…"

Rose interrupted him. "You're the doctor my mum mentioned," she said in surprise.

"Yes," he nodded. "When you first lost your memory, I tried giving you neurotransmitters, which obviously didn't work, but I also tried… telepathy."

"You mean like, you were inside my head?" she said in shock.

"Yes, but I didn't look at anything. I swear," the Doctor said quickly. "I was just trying to survey the damage and see if I could fix it. But I couldn't."

She was silent for a few moments. "I don't know how I feel about that, you being in my head and everything," she said quietly. "Don't do it again, at least not without asking first."

"No, I won't. I promise," he said, taking hope from the fact that she hadn't immediately told him to shove off.

Rose took a deep breath and tried to make sense of everything he had told her. It was all so incredible. She had traveled in a spaceship that was bigger on the inside with an alien from outer space. And somehow she had forgotten it all.

"But Rose, there's more." He cleared his throat and looked extremely uncomfortable. "Immediately after you were bitten, you were rushed to that planet's version of A & E and were treated there. Anyway, while we were there, the doctor who treated you suggested another method to get your memory back."

When he didn't continue, she prodded him. "So, what was it?"

He looked away from her as if he didn't want her to see his face and said something inaudible.

"What?" she asked.

Elbow on one knee, he closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose and said whatever it was again.

Again she couldn't hear him.

"What?" she asked again.

"Physical intimacy," he almost shouted, and then winced, as if he hadn't meant for it to come out quite so loudly.

She burst out laughing. "What, we were supposed to shag to get my memory back? You're kidding, right?" She searched his face for any sign that he was joking. There wasn't any. "Seriously?" When he nodded, she laughed harder.

He shrugged his shoulders, looking embarrassed.

She bit her lip to stop laughing. "Well, I'm assuming we didn't because I still don't remember anything." She looked at him closely and frowned. "We didn't, did we? I mean, we didn't shag and then it just didn't work for some reason."

"No," the Doctor said. "We didn't."

Her eyes narrowed slightly as she looked at him. "But you changed your mind. You were going to do it after all, weren't you?" she said, feeling slightly manipulated. "Is that what this whole week has been about? Getting me to shag you so I'd remember you again?"

"No, Rose, it wasn't," he said. "I couldn't, can't, seduce you. Not to get your memories back. Not even so you would remember me."

She stared at him. She couldn't figure him out. He sounded like he didn't want to shag her. But all week he had acted like he did. He might be an alien, she decided finally, but he was also male and she was sure that in the flat he had wanted her. No one was that good an actor.

"Besides," he continued wryly, "even if I, we, did, by now it may be too late. The doctor I spoke with said that whatever we did to try and get your memory back had to be done quickly or the memory loss could be permanent."

"Are you saying I may never remember no matter what we do?" she asked.

"I don't know," he admitted.

They sat there quietly for a minute.

"Doctor, what was this week about?" she asked.

"Rose, I missed you. I wanted to see you again. And I hoped… I hoped you'd eventually be able to travel with me again." He paused and then said hesitantly, "Would you? Like to travel with me again, I mean. Even if you don't remember traveling with me before." To her surprise, he looked nervous, almost shy, as he waited for her answer.

"Yes," she said, smiling at him. "I'd like that. I'm sure I loved traveling with you."

His face lit up in a wide grin.

"So I'm guessing you don't want to seduce me," she continued.

"Rose…" he started.

"Doctor, what if…" She paused until he met her eyes. "What if I seduce you?"

His brow furrowed as he stared at her disbelievingly. "What? So you can get your memory back?" He was more than a little shocked that she would even suggest it. This did not sound like the Rose he knew. "But that's… Not to mention the fact that it probably wouldn't work at this point anyway."

"No, not to get my memory back," she said evenly. "Just because I want to. Is that alright?"

He stared at her wide-eyed, and then slowly smiled. "Oh, yes."