A/N: I feel for my faithful, loyal readers and reviewers who've expressed sadness for J's pain and a hope for a reunion very soon. I promise it will be worth it when they get back together (it's already playing out in my mind), but he'll be suffering through a couple more chapters first. I think my girl owes him a few jabs that he earned and never got on the show, so every now and then I like to give her them in my stories. Hang tight, I promise I'll make it a very good reunion. LOL…

Thanks so much for all the good feedback - it's always appreciated and it helps a lot! I'll take any critique too, but if you're a fan of the other pairing, you're reading the wrong story - sorry! She won't appear much in this one and when she does, she will be dddragged! I…DON'T…LIKE…HER!

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Chapter 12

Sam stretched out next to Danny and turned on her side to face him, using her hand to softly stroke his hair as she watched him sleep. She traced his sweet little head, over his shoulder, to take his tiny hand in hers, lifting it gently to her lips. The sweet smell of his skin calmed her when she once again found herself thinking the horrible thought…what if he hadn't beat that dreadful disease? What if she was left mourning him like Jason was mourning Jake, like she was mourning Lila?

Closing her eyes tightly, Sam whispered a prayer of thanks. She'd never been overly religious, hadn't set foot in a church since…she couldn't even think when the last time was…but she surely gave thanks for her son's life. Clasping his hand to her chin, she finally took a deep breath and allowed her mind to rest, thoughts of a healthy, happy Danny and the little one inside her helping to ease her towards sleep.

In the distance she could hear soft voices in the living room and she knew her sisters had arrived. Good, she thought as she drifted off…he could leave now.

Jason left the penthouse and sat in the parking garage for almost twenty minutes before pulling out into traffic. He couldn't go back to the loft - it had stopped being home long before he and Sam had even put a label on their relationship. After the first night they'd spent together he was hardly ever there, unless she and Danny were too. It was the last place he wanted to be…but being home with his family was not what his wife needed tonight.

Without much conscious thought, Jason found himself headed to the offices of McCall and Jackal PI. During the time his wife was going to be out of commission he'd keep an eye on her interests, something useful that he was good at, that would keep him busy…until she wanted him again. Please God, let that be soon. He missed everything about her so much…she was his best friend, his sounding board and golden listener, his place of greatest comfort. She was so much of the strength it took for him to get through the day without effort. He needed her, needed everything she brought to his life!

Jason flipped her laptop open where it sat on the desk and dropped heavily to her chair. He would never get used to being there without her - taking solace in the essence of her present in every corner of the room. He punched in her password and spent the next hour reading through her case files, his curiosity mounting on the latest entries on the dubious stranger lurking at the park. His son went to that park! He played catch with Danny at that park - all the children in the neighborhood used that park…who the hell was this guy? Jason had learned a long time ago to trust Sam's instincts, so if she sensed something off about the guy, something was off. How many times had she been on point when it counted?

"She must've said a hundred times, this is not my baby!" He uttered his thoughts out loud about the dreadful night they thought Danny had died after birth. His mind raced through scenarios where her instincts had brought them through, from bringing up his back with a well needed assist, to figuring out he was being deceived in time to stop him from committing his life to the worse type of snake in the grass. If she saw something out of place with this guy, it was out of place!

"You, know - they say talking to yourself is a sign of madness! Have you had that chopped up head of yours checked lately?"

Looking up, Jason acknowledged the tall, African American man in the doorway with a curt lift of his head. "Ashford - sure you're in the right place?"

Curtis Ashford entered the room and rubbed his hands together as he approacehed his new, somewhat friend. "Saw the light on and knew the missus was out of commission for a minute - wondered who it was."

Jason nodded gratefully to the man. They'd worked a case together and Curtis Ashford had proven himself to be sharp and resilient. He had good instincts and follow through…kind of like the male version of Sam, but without all her sex appeal. He smiled when he thought of the sight of his wife in work mode. He loved working a case with Sam - she was as intense as she was sexy, and he loved to watch her work the angles to get her perp.

"She still is…just going through her files to see what she had brewing."

"Anything interesting?"

"Why? Bored?"

"Pretty much!

"Oh, thank goodness somebody's here!"

Both men whipped their eyes to the new entrant who'd come blazing through the door to stop immediately in front of the desk.

"I have to talk to Sam Morgan - please, where is she?"

Jason rose slowly to his feet as he and Curtis peered curiously at the distraught woman with puffy eyes and disheveled appearance, as she looked pleadingly between them one to the other, nervously.

"Sam's not here, who's asking for her?"

The woman fumbled with the pocket of her trench coat, pulling out a rumpled business card and holding it out to Jason.

"She left me this…that day at the park - she knew! She knew something was up with him and I didn't listen! Please, I have to talk to her - she has to help me!"

She was getting hysterical. Curtis touched her shoulder lightly and gestured towards a chair, "Here, have a seat."

Jason made his way around the desk and grabbed a water from the mini fridge, removing the lid and passing it to shaky hands.

"Why don't you take a drink and tell us what's got you so shaken?"

They watched as she took a quick sip and handed the bottle back before raking a nervous hand over a disheveled ponytail.

"I watch two little boys, I'm a Nanny. Their mother travels a lot and it's usually just me and them. I take them to a park near Harbor Drive almost everyday, they love it over there and they're always so full of energy, you know?" Her eyes swung between the two men but she didn't wait for an answer. "Few days ago I was there with them when this lady…" she paused to flash a jerky hand in Jason's direction, "…Sam Morgan, she came over to me and asked if I knew him…this guy she pointed out had been watching the boys. She said she'd seen him there before, watching!"

She rose from the chair as though the energy coursing through her was too much to be contained by the seat. "I thought she was crazy and rude, but I should have listened! I should have listened to her!"

"What happened? Why are you so scared?"

"Because he took them!" She leapt towards Jason, tears streaking her face again. "I didn't listen and now he took them!"

Curtis had taken a seat on the edge of Sam's desk, his hands folded across the knee he was leaning to. "Why don't you tell us exactly what happened?"

The frightened woman inhaled anxiously as she once again pushed her hand against her ponytail and tried to calm herself.

"Okay." She sat back down in the chair and took another deep breath. "I didn't think she knew what she was talking about…I went about my business as usual. The boys, Chad and Micah, we spend a lot of time just us…their mother travels for work a lot so she's hardly ever around. Since the day I started with them two years ago its always been just them - their father was never around. I was told he wasn't in the picture."

Jason paced slowly in front of the window while he listened to her. "Go on."

"Earlier today, I took the boys to the park and then we stopped at a restaurant near the house to pickup dinner. I swear, I left them for a minute - two, tops! The car was running and I just dashed inside to pickup our order - I'd done it a hundred times before - it was nothing."

She started to get hysterical again so Curtis pushed the water towards her. "Just tell us what happened next."

The woman took a sip and continued, "I came out and the car was gone - they were just, gone!"

"How long were you in the restaurant?" Jason wanted to get a timeline going right away.

"A couple minutes, that's it!"

"Are you sure?" He knelt down near her and looked intently into frantic eyes. "It took you only two minutes to pay for your takeout and get back to the car? There was no line inside, no wait at the register, no distraction before you got back outside?"

She looked away from him as she obviously thought of something. "I was on my way back out when my phone rang." Her voice trailed off before she quickly added, "But it was a very short call - I didn't spend but a minute telling my friend I'd call him when we got home."

"Then what happened?"

She looked towards the floor. "Then, I exited the restaurant and started to cross the street and saw that the car was gone. I yelled for Chad and Micah and I guess I was in the middle of the street because there was a horn blaring and people shouting…I ran back into the restaurant to yell for help, but I couldn't stay still…I ran back outside and called the police."

"What did our fine brothers in blue have to say about all this?" Curtis had been a cop in his glory days, but due to unfortunate circumstances that had moved out of his control, he no longer held the dubious honor. He did however, have dreams of one day restoring his rep and taking on the mean streets again. For now, he foraged on the not so straight and narrow, bending the rules a bit, while still not quite breaking them…not all of them at least!

"They took pictures of the boys from the house and issued a lookout for my car. I had to call their mother and tell her…she's so angry!"

Of course she's angry - you weren't watching her damn kids! That's what Curtis was thinking, but what he said was, "We'll help you. Do the police have any leads so far?"

She shook her head vigorously. "Nothing! Detective Falconeri questioned me for hours but I have no idea who he is or where he could've taken them. I'd never seen him before that day and I have no clue why he'd be watching or following us! I told the detective what that PI said she saw!" She turned frantic eyes to Jason.

"Please, please call her! Maybe she knows more about this guy - she can help me bring the boys home before their mother gets here - please!"

Jason shook his head at her. "My wife is out of pocket at the moment - she was hurt in a car accident recently." He moved towards the desk where he opened the last file that was saved on her laptop, swinging the device around to face the woman. "Is this the guy Sam showed you?"

She sprung towards the desk as she yelled, "Yes! Yes, that's him! That's him!"

Curtis moved closer for a better look. "Sam was tailing this guy?" He'd only met the astute PI in recent months but he'd been seriously impressed with how she handled herself. For a tiny woman, she proved to be a force.

Jason scrolled through the rest of the file as he answered, "According to her notes, Sam noticed him at the park where she took our son. Something about him was off so she's been keeping tabs. She pulled his license after running the tag on his car. Says here, she spent two weeks scouting the park to see if he'd show up again but up until her accident, he hadn't. She didn't find any priors from running his license either."

"Then who the hell's this guy?"

Jason read the stats from the license, "Lincoln Lambert, five seven, brown hair, brown eyes…"

"Wait - Lambert?" The woman was grabbing the laptop and spinning it towards her in haste.

Jason looked up curiously at her. "Yes, that's his name. Why, do you know it?"

"That's the name of the family I work for! Their last name is Lambert!"

Jason and Curtis exchanged curious looks before Jason asked her, "Do you have pictures of the boys on you?"

"Maybe on your phone or suppen?" Curtis added.

She looked from one to the other before she reached into her coat pocket for the device, flipping through to a photo she'd taken that very day. She handed the phone to Curtis who looked at the smiling pair then stepped around the desk to hold the phone next to the license photo displayed on the screen.

"Looks like relatives to me." Jason uttered the words both were thinking. "Did you say the boys' father wasn't around?"

She finally caught up to where they were going. "Oh, my God - you think he's their father?"

Jason handed the phone back to her. "Don't you? Look closely at them - don't they look alike to you?"

She slapped an hand over her mouth as her feet backed up to the chair and she plopped down again, her eyes riveted to the phone. It made sense!

After a long minute she shared, "Mrs. Lambert never had anything good to say about their father. She said he left before they were born and never bothered to check whether they were alive or dead. She called him a no good bum who blinded her with his good looks and charm. She always said if she never laid eyes on him again it would be too soon!"

"You ever seen a picture of this cat?"

The Nanny shook her head. "No, she didn't keep any around. Said her boys were better off never knowing him. Oh my God, she's going to kill me!"

"Nobody's killing anybody. Look - me and my cat here - we got this! We know what this guy looks like and where he lives - we'll have this wrapped up before the police even figure out who took them. Why don't you go home and wait by the phone in case they call?"

She got up with Curtis' help and started moving towards the door.

"Hey, my cat…" Jason waited for Curtis to look over at the mocking nomer before he gestured to the departing woman. "You wanna maybe get a way to contact her? I don't know…a number, a name might help a little bit!" His tone was lightly jeering.

"Oh, that's right - can I see your phone again right quick…aww?"

"Gabby! Gabriel Unchin, but you can call me Gabby." She handed him her cell and Curtis dialed his own number before returning it to her. He saved her number to his phone as he told her, "We'll call you when we have something. Don't worry, we'll find those boys, I promise you that."

"Mrs. Lambert has money, she'll pay you! She'll pay anything to get her sons back!"

Jason told her calmly, "Sam wasn't trailing that guy for the money. She saw children in danger and she was going to do something about it. We'll finish what my wife started - there's no payment necessary."

Curtis escorted Gabby out before closing the door and turning to Jason. "What the hell, Morgan? Look, you might be loaded and willing to work for nothing, but this brother gotta eat, man! You don't just go around turning down perfectly good money for no reason! If the lady wants to pay for our services, I say le-et her!"

Jason grabbed his keys from the desk and moved towards the door. "You coming, or not?"

Curtis stood in the middle of the room and watched his receding back before shaking his head and following him out grudgingly. "When the hell did I start working for free, is what I wanna know?"

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Sam was having a bad night. She was tortured by the weirdest dreams from which she'd awaken in a cold sweat, allowing her babies to soothe her back to sleep each time, only to be awakened again by another. They were random, and each time she awoke she'd relive the emotions running through them, the only problem being, they made no sense to her.

Danny was still fast asleep when she checked, easing herself into a sitting position with her hand braced back against the bed, her face lifting towards the ceiling to release the escaping sigh. She needed a drink of water. Swinging her leg over the side, she raised to stand on the good one, grabbing onto the bed as she swung herself into the waiting chair. She was getting very practiced at this.

The penthouse was dark as Sam rolled her way to the kitchen, but there was enough light streaming through the windows from the bright night sky to light her way. Not that she couldn't maneuver the place blindfolded with how well she knew it.

She got her water from the kitchen and wheeled her way back to the living room, rolling to the terrace doors to look out over he harbor. That view had always been the very best feature of the penthouse - she'd spent so much time, day and night, watching the water and the passing marine life from that terrace. It's peaceful effect, especially at night, had often been her only calm while she waited for Jason's safe return home. So many nights she'd wondered if they'd had their last one together, even as she'd told herself he could handle himself and would always come home to her.

Little did she know at the time that a gunman's bullet was not the greatest threat to her relationship with the man she loved. That hostility had shown up in a much less threatening wrapper with a much more disarming weapon - her gilded, deceitful smile. And you were supposed to be the con, Sam. She smirked coldly at the thought before delving into the last dream she'd awoken from earlier.

She was sitting on the couch at the penthouse and he was next to her. They'd been having an intense conversation about Michael and his girlfriend who'd recently broken up with him, and Jason was expressing his well known views on one person taking the choice away from another. Then the conversation switched to a much more personal subject between the two.

"Sometimes I'll see a couple and they'll have a baby and I'll think to myself like, I'd really love that!"

He reached out and softly pinched her upper cheek while the back of his fingers brushed her face softly, before going for her hand and holding it tight.

"Sometimes, you still miss what you can't have," he told her.

"Yea, sometimes. But then I think about everything that I do have and then I think about how lucky I really am…because Jason, six months ago you were in jail and I was getting ready to frame a Federal Judge for improper conduct."

She'd crawled into his arms and he held her snuggled close, lifting his left leg to land it across hers on the edge of the couch as he rested back against it and she nestled comfortably. His fingers deftly caressed her shoulder where he held her to him.

"Yea, I can't tell you how happy I am that you didn't do that!"

"Yea, me too."

"You know, when I was in prison… I knew I had you waiting for me. I can't tell you what that means - 'cause prison is not good. You wake up everyday knowing that you'll have to fight for your life and if you do, you could get stuck there even longer. All I could think about is what it was doing to Michael."

She pictured the time in their lives that had tried them all and tested their strengths in every way. "Yeah, I was worried about Michael too, but you know Jason, he has turned into…an amazing man."

She lifted her head from where it rested on his broad, safe, welcoming chest and looked into emotional, sensitive blue eyes, reaching up to caress his strong, lovable face. "Almost as amazing as you!"

They locked eyes and the deep, abiding love they shared wafted between them as his head lowered so he could claim her lips in the softest, most sensitive touch of his own. His head pulled back so he could see her eyes again as his hand reached out to caress her hair then stroke her face softly, before he was lowering his head again. Their lips sealed together while he held her face gently to his, and she could feel him imparting all the love and adoration that filled his heart for her. His kisses took her breath away!

Over by the terrace, Sam shook her head slightly as though to unfurl the fog that resided there, trying desperately to remember whether that dream had actually happened or if it was merely that - a wistful conjure of her mind to further confuse and befuddle her. Something about it however, felt very real, as though it had been a part of her - like the emotions and sentiments shared had been a part of them.

When her mind refused to comply, she wheeled herself over to the sofa and sat there in the dark, staring at the thing as though it could clear everything for her. That would've been where it happened…it was the same one from her dream - but that could have been just a manifestation of the one she actually knew, playing a part in her subconscious meanderings.

Grunting her mounting frustration with the limitation of her cognitive realm, Sam raised her arms and pushed her hair back, eyes closed against her desire to scream. This was so damn annoying! Why can't she remember?

Just then the front door opened and Jason stepped quietly into the room. It was obvious he didn't want to wake anyone as he laid his keys down gingerly on the desk, after locking the door behind him, then moved silently towards the couch. That's when he stopped short, catching sight of her shadowed form.

"Sam?" His voice was a wondering whisper as he neared then sat on the couch close to her, keeping his voice low when he asked, "Why are you sitting out here in the dark at almost four in the morning - what's wrong?"

"Better question is, what are you doing here so early?"

He sighed heavily. "I couldn't sleep. It's an affliction I've had for a while now." He gazed at her blatantly in the shadows, "I can't sleep without you."

Sam was glad for the darkened room. Something in the way he said that set her heart thumping and her cheeks blazing.

"Yeah? So you didn't sleep for the two years you tossed me aside for your bony bitch? You must be pretty tired then, ahh?"

"You have no idea how close to the truth you are with that one. Barely a day went by that I didn't miss what you and I had, Sam. I allowed myself to be manipulated by other people's opinions of you, when I knew better…and believe me - I paid for my idiocy. I'm still paying right now, because you can't look at me and not remember the worst period in our lives…and it's all my fault."

Sam took a deep breath and sighed. "Not all your fault." She could sense the hopefulness in him so she whipped out, "But it was mostly!"

She'd always wondered how he'd fallen off like that, and so very cruelly. "You lost faith in us, Jason…something I never thought could happen…but it did. You allowed other people to tell you how to feel about me, about us. How could you do that…after everything you knew about me? You said you didn't care about things that happened in the past, so how could you go back on that and believe every lie you heard?"

He knew that all the excuses in the world would never be enough. He could never adequately explain his actions and his coldness…he couldn't even fully explain it to himself. He forgot to stand by her, and that was inexcusable.

"I'm an idiot, baby! I'm the worse kind of idiot to do what I did to you!"

Silence fell over them as they mentally retreated to their individual corners, both realizing before long that they wouldn't stay there. Jason was the first to venture back out…he felt like the worse kind of eel as he relived what she was again living with now. "What can I do?"

"You can apologize." Her whisper was soft, but he heard her.

"I have - don't you remember?"

"You broke our trust and let people into our inner sanctum. Chaste, I'm sorry you got hurt, and I'm sorry you're so bitter, are not apologies for you shredding my heart and mincing my soul!"

Sam could hear the venom that spit out the icy cold words, her own ears chafing from the acidity in each one. Even in the dimly lit room, she could see his reaction to the knife that tore through his heart, and Sam realized a moment later that she didn't want to feel the pain anymore, wanted to move beyond the scars that marred her heart and blinded her head at times. She needed to steer past his misdeeds, address her own, and forgive them all. She loved her baby boy. She loved the little one inside of her. How could she love them so completely, if she continued to hate their father that venomously?

"I'm sorry, Sam!"

The soft, heartfelt words she never remembered hearing him say when she confronted his deceit and exposed his unimaginable treachery, served now to unburden her heart. She felt the cloud lift and the hate depart, and Sam marveled at the sudden lightness left in its place. She could look at him without wanting to cut him, or continually slap his face in disgusted anger. By forgiving him, Sam realized she could also forgive herself…they had both been used and manipulated. They had both lost a great deal more than they'd gained from others' games played with their lives.

She didn't need to hate him…just stay clear of his clutches and away from the pain loving him again would inevitably inflict and chip at the cracks in her soul.