Tibby stood there in the sun, which continued to beat down upon her scalp. Distantly, the sound of the bus puttering away could be heard. She had given herself two choices: forget the pain, embrace her thrill and dismiss the crumpled ruins of her life. This was the first. If Tibby hadn't been met with undeserved love and forgiveness, she would very likely be standing in front of door numero uno at this very moment. But Tibby felt the wreckage was so much easier to face now that she was certain her friends had not turned their backs on her. She wholeheartedly relied upon them.
So there she stood in front of Carmen's new house. She couldn't bring herself to knock, she knew Carmen needed her space from Tibby. But Still, Tibby didn't want to be apart from her. So there she stood, watching the house. It occurred to her that this was not so inconspicuous and she opted instead to sit on the front step, feeling close to Carmen and far from destruction.
Carmen was on another planet. It was unbearably hot, she couldn't breathe, and the skin on the soles of her feet were on fire. At least that was how one would feel running in the hot summer sun when one happened to be wearing flip flops and had no destination in mind. Carmen was driven by pure emotion and a twinge of paranoia. Tibby had rocked her world -- if Carmen couldn't trust her, then who could she trust? Carmen's internal homing device managed to take over and direct her to her street. With her home in view, Carmen slowed to a walk and caught her breath as she headed toward home. She could feel her heart slow down. Her breathing returned to normal. All was find in Carmenland until she actually got home, where she found Tibby waiting for her on the front steps.
Tibby looked up when she saw Carmen approach. "Carmen..." she was surprised. Tibby had thought Carmen was inside.
"Tibby?" Carmen was confused. Her head was still a little fuzzy from the running and the brief insanity binge. She was mad. "What are you doing? Why are you here?" She made no effort to hid her anger.
Tibby looked caught. She couldn't explain her thoughts to Carmen. She opted to respond with silence. Her emotions wore heavily in her chest. Tibby couldn't cry. She wanted to and her tears were on call: she was broken inside, but refused to shed a tear. Her attempt and a cool exterior was anything but. She showed signs of struggle in her body language and in the lines across her forehead. The corners of her lips were trying very hard to not pull down.
Carmen wanted nothing to do with any of this -- including her previously issued forgiveness. She had spent her morning freaking out all over Bethesda because of Tibby. The hitch in her side, the dirt on her feet, and the mascara running down her face, all of it was Tibby's fault.
"Tibby! I can't do this. Any of this. I can't see you, I can't talk to you, I can't think about you. Most of all, I can't forgive you! You broke me! I'm supposed to be able to trust you!" Carmen yelled. "If I...If I can't trust..." Carmen was struggling now. She would not let her tears betray her. She was angry and couldn't let her tears of sadness cut her anger short just yet. She took a deep gulp of air. "If I can't trust you, then who can I trust? You broke me. You broke my belief in everyone. In the Sisterhood. And for that, I can't forgive you." Carmen took a deep breath and strode past Tibby into her house.
Tibby was stunned. The one thing that had been holding her together just blew up in her face. To her, Carmen's lvoe and forgiveness was everything. Without it, Tibby had nothing. Bridget was not there and Lena's support was conditional on Carmen's acceptance. Why did Tibby need to do the right thing now? It was hard and it left Tibby with nothing. She had hit rock bottom and was worthy only of the company who had pushed her off the side of the cliff. She had no strength left.
Tibby got back on the bus. She sat down. She stood up. She got off. She found herself ringing a doorbell and being invited inside. When Tibby went to bed that night, she wasn't alone, and she certainly wasn't clothed.
Sorry this is so short! Of all my pages that I've written, some seem to have disappeared on me. For example, the juicy stuff that immediately follows this.
I'm going to keep looking, it can't have gone far.
In the meantime, enjoy. Please R&R, it's literally the only reason I bother to update at all.