Chapter XII

Unto Thyself Be Truthful

It is amazing how easily we as humans can ignore the obvious, simply because we don't want to believe it.

Diana knew what she had heard Lucian say. She knew that his ideas about Muggle-borns were nearly identical to those of the group named the Death Eaters whose acts of terror she had read about in the Daily Prophet with a mixture of detached fear and unsettling interest. It had even occurred to her, as she lay awake in her dormitory, that the group of Slytherins she had seen were planning on becoming Death Eaters themselves. Several of them were rumored to practice the Dark Arts – including, she realized with dismay, Severus, and as far as he was concerned she knew the rumors were true. And why else would they be meeting in secret, in the early morning when they had the least chance of being caught or overheard?

But despite all of this, Diana managed to convince herself that Lucian wasn't up to anything sinister. He was too charming, too handsome, and far too noble to ever be Death Eater material. He was entitled to his own ideas about Muggle-borns if he wanted to have them, and in any case Diana had never seen him be anything less than courteous to Lily or any other Muggle-born. No, she decided, the meeting she had overheard was nothing she needed to worry about. With her mind made up, Diana made a quick trip to the Owlery to send off her temporarily forgotten letter before spending the rest of the day catching up on sleep.

An only partially untrue excuse about not feeling well was enough to appease Lucian the next morning when he anxiously asked Diana where she had been the day before. He accepted her explanation without question, charming her as always, and the incident was fully driven from her mind.

Two days later, Diana was contentedly snacking on Cauldron Cakes aboard the Hogwarts Express as she idly listened to Lily and Severus talk about their plans for the holidays. She was glad to hear them getting along; she had been witness to too many arguments between the two of them lately.

"I wish you weren't going off with your family," Severus was saying regretfully. "What did you say you were doing again? Skiing?"

"Yes, skiing," said Lily in exasperation. "It's when Muggles attach long sticks to their feet and slide down snowy mountains. It's more fun than it sounds."

"How do Muggles survive it without magic?" Severus asked incredulously.

"Well, sometimes there's accidents…"

The look of alarm on Severus' face quickly changed to disgust as the compartment door slid open and Remus Lupin appeared, a sheepish grin on his face. Severus made a move to draw his wand, but a look from Diana stopped him.

"Hey, Diana – sorry to bother you, but I have your owl," Remus said disbelievingly as he stepped inside the compartment. It was true – Larissa sat chirping on Remus' outstretched left arm, looking flustered but nonetheless happy to be there. She fluttered down to Diana's side and dutifully held out her leg, expecting Diana to untie the roll of parchment attached to it.

"What?" Diana said in disbelief, ignoring her owl for the moment. "How on earth did she get on the train?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure," Remus replied. "I think she managed to land on the roof and then climb down through a window – the window of my compartment. It was probably one of the few ones open. She must really want to deliver that letter."

Remus was definitely correct in his assumption; Larissa had begun pecking at Diana's leg in an effort to get her attention. Diana hastily untied the roll of parchment to appease her owl before turning back to Remus, who was still standing awkwardly in the doorway and giving Severus a wary look.

"Thanks, Remus, I appreciate it," Diana said, grinning. Remus nodded but still stood in the doorway, looking exceedingly uncomfortable.

"Is there something else you wanted?" Severus asked coldly.

"Well – yes, actually," Remus said awkwardly, shifting his weight in his nervousness. He took a deep breath. "Diana – Evans – James wanted me to ask you if you would join us in our compartment for, um, a – talk – about something." He seemed to apologize as he said it, and Snape's poisonous glower did not make him any more comfortable.

"Well you can tell Potter that I am disinclined to acquiesce to his request," Lily said icily, crossing her arms and lifting her chin. "I want nothing to do with him."

Lupin sighed. "I thought you would say that. At least James can't say I didn't try."

"I'll go see what he wants," Diana said exasperatedly, and Lily and Severus looked at her in surprise.

"Why?" Lily asked incredulously. "He's not worth your time!"

"If one of us doesn't go, he's probably just going to show up here and harass us himself," Diana said matter-of-factly. "Besides, we all already know what he wants to talk to you about. I'm more curious about what he wants me for. He doesn't usually make a habit out of bothering me."

"Fine," Lily said, seeing the reason in her argument. "Just tell him he's a vile git, from me, okay?"

Diana laughed as she stood up to leave with Remus. "I think you tell him that often enough," she said, sliding the compartment door closed behind her.

Remus visibly relaxed as they walked out of sight of Severus' malevolent stare. Diana knew Remus didn't like getting into conflicts and she could greatly sympathize with him, especially where Severus was concerned.

"It's not you he hates, you know," she said as Remus led her down the hall. "James and Sirius are the ones who set out to make him miserable."

"I'm not so sure," Remus replied. "I've stood by and watched them mess with him on a number of occasions. I wouldn't blame him for disliking me because of it."

Diana grinned. "That's just because you're so understanding," she said fondly. "By the way, what exactly does James want to talk to me about?"

"I think I'd better let him explain it," said Remus, sounding uncomfortable again. "Ah, here we are."

He opened the door of a compartment on the right and Diana followed him inside. She was not surprised to see who was there. Sirius Black was lounging against the wall, grinning at something and looking as carefree as usual. James was doing much the same, although when he saw Diana had come alone he was clearly disappointed. And little Peter Pettigrew was sitting in the corner of the compartment, looking a little out of place but perfectly happy to be there.

"No Evans?" James asked, although the answer was obvious.

"Honestly, James," Diana said, taking a seat. "I admire your determination, but you should have learned your lesson by now."

James sighed resignedly. "Alright then," he said in a businesslike tone after a short pause. "Diana – as your fellow Gryffindor – and fellow Quidditch player – and, well, you're a friend of Evans'…" he faltered, then turned to Sirius. "You tell her," he muttered.

"No way mate," Sirius said, putting his hands up. "This one's all yours."

"Tell me what?" Diana demanded. James sighed and leaned forward, dropping his tone to a whisper. Diana leaned toward him anxiously.

"Peter overheard something I think you should know about," he said, gesturing to his friend in the corner. Peter suddenly seemed to shrink into the seat. There was another uncomfortable silence. Diana rolled her eyes.

"If you just spit it out already I'm sure you'll feel a lot better," she said, turning on Peter. "Honestly, it can't be that horrible, can it?"

"It's – it's about L-Lucian," Peter stammered. Diana glowered at him. When no one elaborated, she stood and pulled out her wand, causing everyone to instinctively recoil. Peter yelped in surprise.

"Maybe it would be better if you showed me," Diana said coldly, pointing her wand at Peter's head. Her heart was racing. The fear she had been repressing ever since she had discovered Lucian and his friends in the empty classroom began to return, and it almost instantly gave rise to icy anger. "Legilim–"

"No! Diana, Lucian's planning to join He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! He wants to be a Death Eater!"

Diana froze, her wand still pointed at Peter's head. She turned slowly to face the speaker. Her thoughts seemed to move in slow motion.

"Peter overheard them talking about it in their compartment," Remus continued sadly. "It was unmistakable, Diana. You have to believe me."

"You're lying," Diana said flatly.

"He's not lying Di –"

"Lucian's not like that!" Diana snapped. Her fear transformed to rage as she wheeled on James, who had just spoken. "You think that just because he's in Slytherin he has to be a Death Eater because for whatever reason you have something against everyone in that house. You use it as an excuse to hex them in the corridors and treat them like they're lesser life forms because that makes you feel good about yourself! And you can't let yourself think that you're wrong, because if you are…" she dropped her voice to a venomous whisper. "Then that means that Severus just might be good enough to have a chance with Lily. And that means that Lily has a good reason to like him more than you. And I don't think your bloody ego can stand the very idea."

There was silence. Even Sirius was speechless, and James looked furious.

"You don't know Lucian," Diana said in a low voice. "And you can't judge him based on what you think of everyone else in his house."

"You're right, Diana," Remus said softly, trying to break the tension. "We don't know Lucian. But we do know what we heard. I know you're close to him – but you owe it to yourself to at least consider the facts. We heard him talking about joining You-Know-Who. We may be jokers sometimes –" he gave James and Sirius a look. "But we would not joke about this."

Diana met his eyes for a moment, but quickly looked away. His gaze was too uncomfortably sincere, and she didn't want him to be telling the truth.

"How did you overhear?" she asked, not looking at anyone.

"It doesn't matter," James said quickly.

"He wouldn't be talking with other Slytherins about it if he weren't serious. And we wouldn't be telling you we heard him if we hadn't," Remus said. "So it has to be true. You have to believe us."

"He could by lying to them," Diana said quietly. "He could be planning to expose them to Dumbledore or the Ministry…."

"He wasn't interested in you until he learned you were a Parselmouth." James said bluntly. "You know that's a trait of a powerful dark wizard, and you can bet Lucian knows it too. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to recruit you, assuming he hasn't already."

"He hasn't," Diana said automatically. She couldn't think straight.

"I'm so sorry, Diana," Remus said, tentatively placing a hand on her shoulder. "I know you're close."

"Don't be sorry," she said quietly. The shock was beginning to wear off, and she could feel an uncomfortable lump in her throat. "You – you were right to tell me." She turned to face James.

"No apology necessary," he said as she opened her mouth. "Just promise me you'll keep away from Lucian. He's bad news."

Something seemed to click in Diana's mind as she remembered the theory she had just had a moment earlier. The lump in her throat vanished, and to the confusion of James and his friends, she smiled.

"I think I have a plan," she said, her smile growing wider. James looked worried; Remus looked thoroughly alarmed. "You know me. I have to see things for myself."

"Diana, I don't think that's a good idea…"

Diana ignored Remus' worried voice and continued. "Either Lucian's lying to his so-called friends, or he's telling the truth. If he's lying, then you're wrong and he's still the Lucian I know. If not…" she paused, then closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

"I'm a fool," she whispered, sinking the seat behind her. The lump was back. "He's practically their leader. He's not lying and I know it."

Remus looked like he wanted to say something, but Sirius gave him a meaningful glance. For once, he had been silent for almost the entire conversation.

"I should go," Diana said, and stood to leave. She wasn't sure how long she could hold it together, and she didn't want to cry in front of James. Or Sirius, for that matter, or any of them.

"Diana – wait –" Remus said, blocking her exit. She looked up at him helplessly.

"If there's anything I can do… just ask."

Diana looked at him curiously for a moment, then nodded her thanks and left the compartment. She wasn't sure she could trust herself to speak.