I'm only three days late. I probably would have posted this chapter on time if I hadn't worried myself, and all of my prereaders/betas, to death about it. Thank you's and I love you's to jessypt, burntcore and EmDempster. They kept me sane during this mess.
Disclaimer still applies and I still love each and every one of you for reading and for your kind words. They mean the world to me.
Alice never showed.
I paced for a week after depositing the money into her account. I even tried the number that she had called me from only to have the phone answered by some asshole named Felix, a bouncer with a bad attitude at a place named Twilight Lounge. Apparently, my sister had held a job stripping for all of five days before she disappeared.
I couldn't tell my father what I had done. He would have been all over my ass for giving her money in the first place. I should've known better. Hindsight is twenty-twenty.
By the time Labor Day weekend rolled around, I had rid myself of my frustration and anger by spending a few nights screaming into my pillow and crying to myself. Edward saw how bad this last stunt Alice pulled had affected me and listened to me rant and vent until I was hoarse and exhausted. He had become my rock, the person that kept me stable and sane, especially when it came to all things Alice-related. I don't know what I would've done without him.
"You all ready to go?" Edward stood in the doorway of my bedroom, waiting for me to finish stuffing my toiletries into my overnight bag so he could put it in his truck.
"Yeah, I think so," I replied. I zipped it up and handed it over to him. He disappeared out the front door but not before stopping to pick up Brandon's overnight bag. Brandon wandered out of his room with his arms full of toys.
"Is that what you're going to take with you to your daddy's house?" I asked. He nodded and continued into the living room. He wasn't too happy about spending two nights with Jasper, especially when he learned that I would be with Edward all weekend. He had pitched one hell of a fit initially and insisted on going with us. Thankfully, Jasper called a few nights ago and talked him into spending the weekend with him.
Edward had also talked to him at some point during the week, and while I'm not one hundred percent sure, I think there was some bribery involved. Probably in the form of visits to the ice cream stand.
I grabbed his dinosaur backpack and held it for him as he filled it with toys.
"I bet you'll have a great time with your dad! While you're playing and wrestling, I'll be stuck shopping." I playfully scrunched my nose up, knowing how much he detested shopping.
"Dat's no fun, LaLa. You should go to 'da park or 'sumpin." I nodded in agreement.
"I'll see what I can do, but it wouldn't be any fun without you anyway," I said as I touched his little nose. I grew a bit somber and tried to keep my emotions in check so that I wouldn't upset him.
"I'll miss you this weekend." He looked up from digging through his backpack.
"I'll miss you too, LaLa." I tried not to let his nonchalant attitude get me down. "Can I have a snack?"
I laughed at his short attention span and walked into the kitchen to put some crackers in a bag for him. By the time I walked back into the living room, Edward had come back inside and was wrestling on the floor with Brandon.
"Are we ready to go?" I asked. They both nodded and rose from the floor. Brandon grabbed the snack bag from me and bounded down the steps and out to the car.
~ D ~
One hour later, Edward and I were cruising down the road on our way to Seattle. The drop-off with Jasper had gone well. I wanted Edward to meet him so that he knew who Jasper was and vice versa. Edward spent a lot of time with Brandon and was becoming a very influential male figure in his young life.
The two of them were cordial, but I could see Jasper's mouth press into a thin line when Brandon gave Edward a hug and "super hero fist bump" before my standard kisses and hugs.
I pounded Jasper with question after question and made sure he had both mine and Edward's cell numbers just in case of an emergency. I even gave him copies of Brandon's insurance card and a list of doctors' numbers in case he needed to go to the hospital. I had it all in a plastic baggie and when I handed it over to him, he struggled to keep from rolling his eyes. Maybe I was being silly, but when you have kids, you can never be over-prepared.
One final wave to Brandon, a quick trip back to my house to switch into Edward's truck, and we were on the road.
"He'll be okay," Edward said as he glanced over at me from the driver's seat. I stopped biting my nails, a dirty habit I always had whenever I was nervous.
"I know. I just can't help but worry."
He brought our intertwined fingers to his lips and kissed my knuckles.
"If anything happens, we'll haul ass back to Port Angeles. I promise." I smiled and nodded, silently praying once again that everything would be okay.
I called Jasper once we had checked into the lovely, quaint little bed and breakfast where we were staying. When he assured me that Brandon was fine, my nerves calmed a bit and I took in the surroundings of our room. The three windows on the far wall offered a gorgeous view of a large backyard filled with trees whose leaves were already turning red and golden. A beautiful park was in the distance and I wondered if we could walk there this evening. We had planned on relaxing tonight and then driving into the city the next day to take care of our business we came for.
After dinner at a local bar and grill and stopping off at Starbucks for coffee, Edward indulged me and drove over to the park for an evening stroll. It was a little chilly, so I threw on a light jacket and hooked my arm through Edward's as we walked, glad to have an excuse to snuggle up to him.
We did talk but mainly we spent the walk in silence, enjoying the scenery and each other's company without unnecessary chatter. He caught me off guard when he suddenly jerked to the left and started walking through the grass.
"Where are you going?" I asked. He didn't answer but stooped down and yanked up a lone dandelion. It was the only one around and very much out of place seeing as how it was much too late in the year to be in bloom.
"Here," he said as he tried to hand it over to me. I smiled to myself, remembering the conversation he and I had weeks ago when I compared Brandon to a dandelion.
"Nah, I have my own back home," I said with a wink. "Why don't you keep it? Make a wish and blow."
He eyed me thoughtfully for a few moments before shutting his eyes and blowing the wispy seeds away.
"What did you wish for?"
"Now Miss Swan, don't you know that if you tell your wishes, they won't come true?" he asked coyly. He tsk'ed me, threw the stem down, and led me back to the walking path without another word.
That evening, when we crawled into bed, there was snuggling and kissing and light touching, but it didn't go any further. We didn't talk about it, there just seemed to be an unspoken agreement between us of 'not tonight'. We fell asleep with our feet tangled and skin touching.
~ D ~
The next day was filled with things to do. We got Edward's errands out of the way first by visiting Home Depot so he could pick up a light fixture and vanity he had been looking for. When I asked why he hadn't just ordered them online, I got a ten minute lecture about how much he detested paying shipping charges. I made a mental note to never alert him about how much stuff I ordered from Amazon and eBay.
He found his perfect, huge bachelor pad television at Best Buy and the salesman convinced him to splurge on a surround sound. When the men started talking about subwoofers and wattage, I politely excused myself to check out the digital cameras. The one I had was on its last leg and needed some coaxing to work half of the time. It was something I was going to have to replace very soon so I didn't miss any important moments in Brandon's life. Pictures were the only thing I could keep forever to help me recall things like his first steps and his first plate of spaghetti. I couldn't miss out on his first baseball game or first day of school.
Edward found me while I was still playing around with the cameras, turning them on and off and seeing how far they would zoom.
"Getting a new camera?" he asked.
"Nah, not today. I'll need one soon. Mine is old and feeble, but it'll do for now." I put the Nikon I had in my hand down and turned to him. "You all finished?"
"Yeah, I need to head to the checkout."
"Okay. I'm going to step outside and call to check on Brandon. I'll meet you out there."
He nodded, pecked me on the cheek and headed in the direction of where the salesman was waiting with a smile. I didn't know if he made commission or not, but if he did, he had a reason to be smiling.
Brandon spoke with me on the phone briefly. Jasper said he was too busy digging up the back yard with a stick. After being reassured once again that Brandon was fine, we said our goodbyes. I gave myself a little pep talk and refocused on why I had joined Edward on this trip in the first place - to spend time with him and focus on us. He had walked out of the store and gone to retrieve the truck while I was on the phone and was now loading his purchases in the backseat with the aid of one of the employees. When they were finished, Edward walked over, steered me over to the passenger's side and opened the door for me. He wore a secretive smile and when I asked him about it, he shook his head and wiped it off his face.
We made a quick trip back to the bed and breakfast to drop off what he had purchased. Edward had made prior arrangements with the owners to store his big items in a locked building they had onsite so that it wasn't left in the truck overnight. The owner, Liam, a nice, middle-aged man, came out when we pulled around to the building to help Edward. They proceeded to chat about renovations on Edward's house and there was more of that wattage-talk when he saw the surround sound boxes.
The owner's wife, Maggie, joined us, so she and I struck up a conversation about how long they had owned the house we were staying in. She was delightful and genuine, a mothering kind of woman. They had two sons, Austin and Mark, who would be home the next weekend to celebrate their upcoming anniversary of twenty-five years.
"How long have you two been married?" she asked me.
"Oh, we aren't married." I cringed after my confession, hoping that she wouldn't judge us for staying together with our lack of wedding bands. But there was no judgment on her smiling face.
"Really? I was sure that you were. It's obvious how much you two love each other. Even one of the other guests commented on it this morning." I blushed and smiled at her words.
The "L" word was something that I had thought about a lot in the past week. I tried not to dwell on it since he hadn't said it to me, nor had given me any indication that he was planning on doing so.
The question of whether or not he and I would have sex had weighed heavily on my mind prior to this trip. Sex was not something I took lightly because, in my eyes, it was the ultimate gesture of giving your heart to someone. But I also didn't want to pressure myself to drop those three little words in order to justify me sleeping with him.
It was during one of my thinking sessions I realized that I was in love with him. There was no precise moment that I recalled falling head over heels. It was a combination of everything-how he consumed my every free thought, how he interacted with Brandon, how he treated me like a precious gem and made me feel safe and adored. I kept the revelation to myself, waiting on a sign from him that he was ready for what I had to say.
"Thank you," I said to Maggie. "I do adore him. He's a wonderful man. But we haven't been together that long."
"Sometimes men expect us to just know what they're thinking instead of actually saying things out loud," she said wisely, as if she knew what I was thinking. "But I've seen the way he looks at you. Rest assured, he feels the same way you do."
~ D ~
Later that afternoon, I stood in front of the display of books in Toys R Us, trying to decide between Llama Llama Red Pajama and the classic Tawny Scrawny Lion. Edward disappeared again, tiring of my indecision when it to books. The poor man had never been shopping with me before, so he had no idea how fickle I could be when it came to making decisions in a store. We had been in there for an hour and a half.
I wanted to buy both books, but it was a little excessive considering I already had two LeapFrog toys, a ball, a memory game and Chutes and Ladders in my cart; not to mention the stuff Edward had piled in there like a tiny baseball glove, ball and bat.
To say that he had thoroughly enjoyed our visit to the toy store would be an understatement. I had to rein him in more than once or Brandon would've owned the entire stock of toys they carried. It was Edward's first trip to a Toys R Us, seeing how he had never had a reason to visit one before.
"You ready?" he asked as he came up behind me, pushing the cart that seemed to have accrued a superman mask since the last time I saw it. I could tell he was getting hungry and impatient with me.
"No, not yet. Let me just-"
"Bella," he cut me off. "It's not a life or death decision. I'm sure he'll love whatever you pick out. I love you, but I swear if you don't pick one soon, I'm going to leave you here while I go get dinner." Considering he'd just made the three word declaration for the first time, he wore an awfully stern look.
In the shock of hearing those words fall from him mouth, I let the Tawny Scrawny Lion drop in the cart as he muttered, "Thank God."
I didn't say much as we checked out … together, at Edward's insistence. He let me contribute a little bit of money but paid for the majority of what we bought.
We stopped at a little Italian place for dinner and while we waited on our food to arrive, I couldn't keep myself from addressing what he said in the store.
"Edward, I need to ask you something."
He arched an eyebrow, a signal to continue.
"When we were in the toy store and you were getting so aggravated because I wouldn't make a decision and threatened to leave me…"
He laughed. I scowled playfully at him.
"Anyway, you said something that caught my attention." I ducked my head and picked at my nails trying to distract myself. "Did you mean it?" I peeked up at him hesitantly. He was grinning.
"What? That I would leave you? I wouldn't do that," he said with a wink. I knew he was teasing me and reached over and slapped his arm gently. He caught my hand between his and brought it up to his lips, kissing it softly.
"Oh, you mean that I love you? Yes, I did. I do. I don't know if you're ready to hear it yet, but I do." His eyes reflected the light of the dancing flame from the candle on our table and in that moment, he looked angelic. I couldn't believe he was mine.
"I do, too," I replied softly. "I mean, I love you, too."
"Bella, don't feel obligated to say it back. I never meant to blurt it out that way. I didn't mean to pressure you into anything."
"No, I don't feel pressured. I realized earlier this week and was just waiting for the right time." His answering smile made we wish I had told him sooner. He placed another kiss on my palm just as our dinner arrived.
We enjoyed our meal while playing footsie under the table and taking every opportunity possible to touch one another. I had no doubt from the look in his eyes and the fire burning in me that tonight would be the night. I was ready.
~ D ~
It was pouring rain when we arrived back at the house. There was even thunder, a rarity around here. We dashed from the truck, laughing when we couldn't avoid the puddles in the driveway. We were soaked when we walked through the door and made our way up to our room with a smile and wave to Liam and Maggie.
I disappeared into the bathroom with my pajamas and jumped into the shower. I made sure my legs were smooth and my body was scrubbed really well. My insides, especially the lower parts, were quivering in anticipation of what was to come. I dressed quickly and stepped into the room. Edward was on the phone with his mother and sweetly told her he loved her before he hung up.
While he showered, I turned down the bed and fluffed the pillows, finding anything to do to keep my hands busy.
He emerged shirtless, his glorious body on display as he wore only a pair of black boxer briefs. I thanked the heavens for his lack of modesty when it came to bedtime. One of the best discoveries of this trip was that he only slept in his underwear. Last night it was dark when we climbed under the covers, so I wasn't treated to the vision of his bare chest. This evening, however, there was still some daylight streaming through the windows, allowing me to see, rather than feel, how well defined his chest was. If I thought he looked good with clothes on, it was nothing compared to how he looked with his clothes off.
I silently watched him from the bed as he moved around the room. I wanted so much to go to him, but held myself back. What are you so scared of? The voice in my head chastised me for being such a wimp and waiting on him to come to me.
I squared my shoulders and stood straight. Nothing. There was nothing to be scared of. I was simply over-thinking and doubting myself, but there was no reason for that.
His bare back was turned to me when I walked over to where he stood at the dresser. He was rummaging through one of the shallow drawers, where he had stuffed a few of his belongings, when I touched his shoulder blade with just the tips of my fingers. He stilled instantly and looked up, my eyes peeking around his shoulder to meet his in the reflection of the mirror. I smiled softly and disappeared behind him. It was partly so I could focus on tracing the taut muscles on his back and partly because I was admittedly shy. We were about to take this relationship to another level and it excited and scared the hell out of me, all at the same time.
When his hands came up to grip the edge of the dresser, I saw the muscles in his forearm flex. My hands drifted from his back, cupping his wrists before slowly trailing upwards as I planted tiny kisses between his shoulder blades. He shivered beneath my touch when I gently gripped his biceps.
"You're driving me crazy, Bella," he said softly.
"Good." I smiled against him as he laughed quietly and let my hands continue their exploration over his body. They traced down his back and around his torso to his stomach. My nails lightly dragged across the skin right above the waistband of his boxers, earning a groan from him and a loss of power for me.
He spun around quickly and crashed his lips to mine. His hand cupped the back of my neck and tilted my head, deepening the kiss and sending my hormones into overdrive. My heart was racing, it had been so long since I had been intimate with anyone. It might've also had to do with Edward copying my move and stroking the exposed skin above my waistband. I shuddered at his touch, making him grin against my mouth.
"You're driving me crazy now," I said, my voice breathy to my own ears.
"Good. Now you know how it feels," he whispered. Indeed I did.
Since it seemed as though he was following my lead, I turned us so that I could push him back on the bed. There was a jumbling of lips and body parts as he sat down, but once we were settled and back into the groove, I was straddling his lap. His hands gripped my hips tighter and tighter as I started to move back and forth, back and forth, across the hardness I could feel through my thin cotton shorts.
His fingers toyed with the hem of my shirt, raising it a little at a time. I knew what he wanted so I reached down and pulled it over my head. His eyes grew wide at my boldness and in that moment, I felt powerful.
He picked me up off of his lap and lowered me gently to the bed, our mouths connected the entire time. Somehow, we managed to rid each other of our remaining clothing and soon we were both naked. It was a little intimidating since we had gone straight from kissing and innocent touches to this but in my heart, I knew it was right.
Lowering his head, he placed open-mouthed kisses on the hollow at the base of my neck and one on each side of my collar bone before finally turning his attention to my breasts. My hands came up to tangle in his hair as he flicked his tongue across one of my nipples before taking it his mouth and gently sucking. His actions made my hips buck involuntarily trying to meet his. I felt his length brush between my thighs and I was lucky enough that the angle allowed his tip to graze me in my most sensitive spot as my hips descended to the bed, coaxing a half-sigh, half-groan from me.
"Bella?" I opened my eyes to see that he had risen up a little and was hovering over me. His eyes were intense, but his expression was soft. My name had fallen from his lips in a soft, whispered question and I knew he was asking if I was sure that I was ready for this. When I looked up at him, the late evening post-rain sun rays were still streaming through the windows, making his eyes almost sparkle and illuminating the tips of his hair. His look of adoration helped me confirm my decision. This was my way of giving him every piece of my heart that I possibly could.
In answer to his implied question, I sat up slightly to meet his lips and brought him back down with me. His body sank down slowly and rested between my thighs. The weight of him on top of me was the most wonderful feeling in the world. While I had no expectations of some extraordinary, marathon love-making our first time, I felt exactly the way I wanted to at that moment - safe and secure and loved.
Our kisses turned heated and passionate and once again, I grinded against him, feeling our skin creating a delicious friction until I could tell he was on edge. The hand that held the back of my neck traveled down my body and gently grabbed the underside of my thigh, pulling and positioning and opening up for him until I felt exposed and wanting. Just when I was about to reassure him that this is what I wanted, I felt him slowly sink deep, deep into me.
Edward buried his face in the curve of my neck and let out a quiet, shuddery "Oh God" as he began his thrusting. His body overtook mine so much that I could barely move except to wrap my arms around his shoulders. He gripped the backs of both my thighs, spreading me for greater access. He placed a trail of kisses beginning at the curve of my neck and continued upwards until he reached my mouth.
When he repositioned his knees to settle under my thighs and sat back a little, I lost my grip on the fine hairs at the back of his neck. My hands ran down his torso and settled on his chest, my fingernails scraping his skin every time he rocked.
His breathing picked up from the synchronized panting we shared and his pace became erratic. I could tell he was trying to fight it off, but it was no use. He rocked us one more time and grew still before collapsing on me. My fingers immediately weaved back through his hair, holding him close to me and letting me feel his rapidly beating heart.
"I am so sorry," he mumbled.
"For what?" I was appalled that he was apologizing for what just happened.
"I'm humiliated. Our first time together and I was basically a two-pump chump." He groaned and buried his face deep in my neck.
I burst out laughing at his self-proclaimed nickname. "No you weren't! And it's no big deal. You can make it up to me later," I teased as he propped up on his elbows.
"Oh, I definitely will. I promise. It will take me a long, long time to redeem myself. In my defense, it's been a long, long time."
"Yeah, me too. But we have all the time in the world to make up for it."
"That we do," he agreed. He kissed me soundly before standing up and heading into the bathroom. I shamelessly watched him walk away and made mental plans for later.
~ D ~
We didn't bother redressing. I was surprised that I felt as comfortable as I did lying naked with him since I was usually pretty self-conscious about my body. We snuggled in bed and found a movie on TV that caught our attention but were only halfway through it when Edward decided to keep his promise.
Edward's hands roamed every part of my body that he could reach. When they brushed down the sides of my breasts, it became clear that he was ready for his redemption round. I tipped my head back to see him staring at me. His mouth immediately covered mine and the movie was forgotten.
The flicker of the screen cast colorful glows around the room as our foreplay started much the same as before. However, when Edward started a descent down my body, his day old stubble tickling me deliciously in all the right places, I realized that this round was going to be much, much more electrifying. My eyes fluttered closed as my arms stretched above my head, hands grasping the scrolled iron of the headboard when they made contact with it.
Imagine my shock when I discovered that my boyfriend apparently had some sort of magical tongue that could send me into ecstasy in record time. He found that secret, hidden spot of pleasure and teased and tantalized it until the darkness behind my eyelids was quickly overcome by white starbursts, leaving my head feeling like it was under water and everything else was far, far away. I drifted as I caught my breath, feeling him pepper kisses along the inside of my thighs, but he didn't linger there long.
The bed shifted and as soon as I opened my eyes, he was once again buried deep inside of me, his hands ghosting up my arms and prying mine from where they were wrapped around the black iron. He tangled our fingers together and slightly pressed them into the soft pillow as he tried to gain leverage. Since I had just come down from floating on a cloud, it didn't take much for me to be soaring again. He hit just the right angle, sending me over the edge.
He sat up and pulled me with him so that we were chest to chest and bent his head so that we were face to face. His forehead rested against mine and our rhythmic breathing fell in time once more. It was intense and passionate and just what I needed.
His eyes squeezed shut and the lines of his forehead appeared as he rocked us back and forth, turning his head so he could whisper sweet words of love and worship in my ear.
"I love you," were the words I whispered back as I gripped his arms. It seemed to make him lose the control he had and he finally let go. He clutched me tightly and held me still against him as he lost himself in his own pleasure.
Once we had both caught our breath, he lowered me back down to the bed, collapsing beside me momentarily before he disappeared to the bathroom. I was half-asleep when he crawled back into bed. My body wasn't used to this delightfully strenuous activity, so I was exhausted. From the looks of Edward, he was too.
He snuggled in close behind me, intertwining our legs under the sheet. I yawned loudly, making him chuckle.
"Tired?" he asked.
"Yes. But the best kind of tired. You can wear me out anytime, Mr. Cullen."
"Mmm, indeed, Miss Swan. I intend to do so often. Now that we've done that, you'll never get rid of me. I'll be like an annoying stray cat."
I reached down and laced our fingers together and brought them up to rest close to my heart.
"I'd never want to get rid of you. You're stuck with me now."
He planted a kiss under my ear. "Then my wish has come true."
Reviews aren't better than Edward telling you he loves you in Toys R Us, but I'd still love to know what you think. Writing anything of the citrusy nature gives me an anxiety attack.
P.S. I started a blog for fandom stuff. Link will be on my profile.