Author's Notes: With finals done, I can now focus on all that I ahve neglected. This chapter will be the start of a series of small flashbacks, which are really glances into what Jasper is letting resurface in his mind – incidences and moments that reflect his current state of mind. And yes, there is much more Em and Jakey, sadly, not in this chapter, but throughout the upcoming. Enjoy, and thanks for sticking with this.

Characters, not own by I.

xXx

Chapter Twelve: 18 Weeks

"Do you think there is enough room?" I asked, not sure I could fit a day-bed and an office desk in the tiny space of the extra room.

"There's enough room for the next few months," His long fingers played with the hair at the nape of my neck as he waited for me to direct my attention to him. His hazel eyes searched my own before he continued, "I know this seems out of the blue, moving to this location," He smiled when he caught the look of confirmation on my face, "But honey, it was more than me finding a place for us to move in together. I want to start a family here. I want us in this neighborhood, because I'm getting us a house." He finished slowly. I felt my eyebrows shoot up. My mind was racing. He wanted a family?

"James..." I wasn't sure what I could say. Things were changing around the country - science was changing. Men could be impregnated, and in this state they could marry.

"I know," He nodded, reading my bewilderment, "We love each other and I want us to share the rest of our lives together," His lips caressed my own, "I've been making offers to people in the neighborhood, but it's been tough. This is a hard place to find and buy a house and the residents know it. They are driving a hard bargain."

I laughed despite myself, "You're buying people out of their homes?" All for us to start a family here? I couldn't hide the fact that it made me feel warm and safe inside - despite the unremarkable fear it rose in me.

"Well, honey, not in the way you put it," He laughed, "I just want you happy - I want our family happy."

"Do you want me to-?" I didn't know how to finish the sentence, "Be...pregnant?" He kept silent for a moment, his thumbs working circles in my temple.

"I made an appointment with the A.I.S office. It's just a check-up." He said seriously, "Baby, I want our child to represent us. Wouldn't it make you happy to look at your baby boy or girl and see yourself?"

"I'm scared that all I'll see is him." I remembered Rosalie explaining to Emmett and Jacob. The boys' surprise visit did more than bring the truth to light, it seemed to raise quite a few fears I had about myself and James.

Rosalie responded with shock, fear and even a bit of sadness. I expected much more of screams of betrayal at Edward or maybe her leaving, but all she did was break down. She admitted that she knew she'd have to face them sometime, that she tried to hide what happened, but ultimately realized a new life was hard to hide.

Edward and I stood at the threshold of the room, me watching with an outsider's eye as Emmett sprinted over to Rosalie, securing her in a very embracing hug. I tore my eyes away, turning to Edward for his reaction. He looked relieved.

"Why did you...?" In no way did I want to accuse him, but surely he knew that this could have ended badly.

"Alice said she was going to do it," Edward kept his eyes trained on the circle of family and friends consoling Rosalie, "I couldn't let their friendship end as quick as Emmett's and Jacob's, so I did it. The worse that could have happened, was Rosalie avoiding me and both Emmett and Jacob seeing for themselves why she stayed away."

"Did you tell them that she was pregnant?"

"When I said that we were having a party in her honor, Jacob assumed it was either a baby shower or an engagement party. So they were prepared." He explained. There was a brief pause as he seemed to think over his words, "Jasper, I don't want you to think that I am forcing Rose to face her problems-"

"I don't." I cut him off. I understood what he was implying. I was still learning to cope with relaxing and opening up and he didn't want me to be uncomfortable around him or lose trust in the unstable relationship we did have, "It was Alice's idea and you risked your friendship with Rose to take the brunt of her decision, because it would have happened whether you wanted it to or not," I reassured him. The thought of it made me feel a growing softness for Edward. He wanted his friends and family happy even at the expense of himself, "It justifies why I'm at such ease to trust you." I didn't think of what I was doing when held his hand in my own, giving it a gentle squeeze before realizing that it may have been unwise to touch him. As much as I knew Edward was concerned of me as a person, I wasn't so sure he was comfortable with my physical closeness. But he surprised me by squeezing my hand back and kept this contact the entire time the room died down in tension and Rosalie began slowly, but calmly to explain the night 8 months before.

It was horrific and it hurt seeing Emmett and Jacob on either side of her, pain and anger on their faces as she recounted her boyfriend forcing himself on her and her running out on him that night. Esme and Alice stayed planted in front of her, each with hands on her lap, comforting her in their silence. Carlisle, who kept his distance like me and Edward, was still present and Mike had stepped out, most likely feeling like he was intruding on something - like I felt. But with Edward's hand in my own, his closeness, his apparent want for me to stay where I was, I did and Rose continued explaining why she left Emmett and Jacob and why she still was unsure of having the child. I hadn't known that she had endless conversations with Alice and Esme about adoption or that she actually thought about abortion.

I felt small waves of panic hit my gut as I thought back to the first days after James' disappearance. There were hours of silence as I held pill bottles and liquor in my hands. No one knew about this, because no one was told. It made me uneasy what Edward would think if I ever told him that I considered suicide, killing me and my child - What sick, horrible person I was the first week James left me. He said he thought I was strong - I knew he was wrong. After a few minutes listening in on their conversation, I couldn't stomach it anymore. I backed away, unclasping my hands from Edward, getting a worried glance.

"I think they need alone time." I suggested and I stepped out, finding Mike to keep company.

xXx

"We're going to do it, baby." His lips pressed against my warm skin, his knees seperating my thighs. He fell so easily into me like he did many times before. I moaned freely, clasping my hands around his neck, urging him to go deeper inside me, "We're making a family." He mouthed on my skin as his hips rocked gently against my own. We had just came from one of our regular A.I.S appointments, this time getting the news that my A.U would be ready for the surgery and James insemination. It was the best news for James - the news he had been wanting to hear the last year. My surgery was going to be in a week and seeing the joy in his eyes as he stripped me down and whispered words of affection in my ear, it made me excited with anticipation. Anything he wanted, I'd give it to him - a family included.

" I love you." I cried out hoarsly just as I felt my high at its peak. He hummed against my ear, kissing the soft flesh there - his way of saying 'me too', a common gesture he'd been doing for the years we were together.

I groaned, sitting up in my bed. My days and nights were becoming riddled with memories of James. It kept me up, made me lose my appetite at meals and had me silent during my daily calls with Bella and my first call with Edward. Our conversation was brief, he sensed my discomfort, asking if I was okay. I had to lie and say I was fine, but hearing the knock on the door that morning and seeing him at my front door, told me didn't believe me.

"Jasper," He said sweatly, dressed casually in a plaid shirt, sleeves rolled up and in fitted jeans, "Is it okay that I stopped by?" He asked, raking a hand through his hair.

I looked at him with tired eyes and nodded, "It's fine. Why...?" I didn't need to finish the sentence, seeing how it was nearly 10 AM and he was at my front door without alerting me that he was visiting.

"I'm on a short vacation - this being my first day. I was thinking maybe we could grab lunch?"

I stared at him in disbelief. So he wasn't here to check up on me, but to have lunch together. Despite my shock, I couldn't think of no other answer more suited for how I felt than "Sure." His wide, heart stopping smile had me momentarily lost for a few seconds, "Come in." I offered, stepping back and letting him in the narrow hallway.

"Thanks," He stepped in, his body brushing against mine. I had a brief flash to the baby shower a few days before. Although the night ended with Edward taking me home in dead silence, it didn't escape him to casually pet my hand before I stepped out of the car. The contact was therapeutic and even a bit arousing. He was fast in getting me home, probably reading the panic on my face. Seeing Rose like that, bearing things she hadn't even admit to Bella, made me hurt for her and myself, made me rethink everything about James and his disappearence. I have always known that I wasn't right, but seeing her how she was, it brought to attention just how broken we both were. It hurt seeing her as she was, because it hurt seeing me.

It had been a few days and those were a blur of sleepless nights and moments lost in trying to catch up with the rest of America with media interest. Seeing Edward in my house on a Sunday morning was a big relief, moreso than I would have ever realized.

"Jazz, are you busy today?" He asked, when I lamely stood there in the hall with him, quiet as death.

"No." I shook my head. I was never busy these days, not with my hours watching dogs completely obliterated.

"Would it be okay if I had you all day?" He asked innocently, but my mind worked in overdrive, yearning for him to mean it in everyway possible. I didn't trust my response, so I nodded. My throat was dry and my hands shook at my sides. It was horrific that I wanted to hear those words in another context. He gave me that beautiful smile again, "Okay. You should get ready then. I'll make you breakfast. Is that alright with you, love?" I was able to get out a weak "yes". He didn't hesitate, taking my hand in his own, squeezing my palm gently before stepping up the stairs that lead to the living room and kitchen. I padded into my bedroom, grabbing some clothes out of my dresser before starting the shower. With James finally at the back of my mind, I began my morning as I would have a few weeks before, blind to the renewed bubbling knowledge of the world before being pregnant.

XxX

With toast and tea in me, we were on our way out to Edward's car. Knowing we had a meal to eat in an hour, he made breakfast light, suggesting it was wise to have something in my stomach if I was digesting so many medication.

Like a gentleman, he held open the passenger door to his car, gesturing for me to get in. When I was buckled in, he shifted the car's gears out of park and pulled away from the curb, "So I was thinking, Venice Beach." He said slowly, glancing at me briefly, "What do you think?" I wasn't sure if I was comfortable with that. All those people, and me with this obviously big bulge, too small to really be considered a pregnant belly, but too big for my taste to be labeled a beer gut. What if people stared?

"So many people," I frowned.

"There usually is," He said lightly, "Jasper, you need fresh air, an ocean breeze and a good cheeseburger with the side of a churro - you deserve it."

"People will see me." I argued weakly.

"They will," He agreed, "And don't hold it against them if they keep looking," It was obvious why. I looked deformed, unusual, "Because they'll be looking at something beautiful." I stared back at him in shock. He couldn't have said that. He had to be lying.

"Edward, you don't have to lie-"

He frowned at the statement, "Jasper, you should know by now that I wouldn't ever lie to you."

xXx

The days of May were beginning to warm up, but considering our close proximity to the ocean, the weather was more welcoming and breezy. Edward found parking by the boardwalk, and proceeded to dote on me with his gentlemanly manners, opening my door and offering his elbow with a joking smile, as if suggesting I humor him. I did, drawing my arm in the loop of his his, holding his bicep. Something about the way we perused the walkway, noting the passing rollerbladers and bike riders, discussing light things like the weather and the holidays put me at ease. On occassion, the wind would pick up, throwing my wavy hair around my forehead, only to settle in front of my eyes. Without hesitation, Edward's hand would sweep up, brushing my hair back as he did weeks before. Each time my gut would drop, I'd lose my place in our topic, stuttering, tripping on my words and he'd continue on as if nothing happened. I didn't understand how to read him. He was gentle, responsive to my every expression and physical discomfort. He never was personal, but his closeness to me screamed an intimacy I had with no one in his family. In no way was I put off, just confused. What was he doing to me? Why did I allow this? Why did I starve for his attention?

"Here we are." Edward smiled, gesturing to a Bistro. It was packed, but despite the overwhelming amount of people, we were able to get a table outside in decent time. We were handed a menu each by a dishevled looking girl, who uttered in a shaky whisper that she would be back to take our drinks and food order. Edward gave her a sympethetic smile and told her to take her time. she heaved a sigh of relief and said thanks before tossing us a genuine smile, backing up into the crowd of passing waitresses and customers.

"Is it always so busy here?" I watched in astonishment as another woman, more experienced and relaxed, balance a wide tray with four plates, weaving through people with ease.

"The beach can be vacant, but this place is always packed." Edward nodded around him, "They have great drinks and the most addictive seasoned fries."

"You come here often?"

"Used to with Em, before he got more busy with work. Our schedules worked better a year ago." He shrugged, clearly bugged by it, but trying to look unphased. Emmett must have meant a lot to him, if he chose to keep his company even after Emmett started dating Jacob. I frowned, pondering over just how Edward felt about his friend.

"Do you still feel..." Edward cocked his head, waiting for me to finish, "Do you still have feelings for him?" Edward's eyes widened at my question. For a moment, he actually seemed lost in thought - speechless.

"No, Jasper, no!" He answered in defense. He snorted, shaking his head before answering in a much more hushed and tender tone, "No, Jazz. I love Emmett, but I think the both of us were never in love with each other. It's easy to say that now, but before, I was confused. We're very much emotionally dependant on the other - well, we were." He seemed to search for something in my eyes, before continuing, "Ever since Jake came into the picture, Em tended to direct much more of his energy towards him instead and I don't blame him."

I felt my lips pout out, noticing the trace of hurt in his eyes. He missed his best friend, "You think that's why he doesn't come here with you anymore?"

He seemed to actually consider the question for a second before shaking his head, "No. He is pretty busy with everything going on..."

I leaned forward, suddenly curious, "What does Emmett do?"

Edward chuckled, as if finding something funny in my statement, "He trains celebrities and professional sports players into fitness."

I blinked in surprise. I knew Emmett had some form of business with the gym that I first met him in front of, but I had no idea his job was that...impressive, "Really?"

Edward nodded in affirmation, "Yeah, surprised me too." He shook his head, "With the way he was 'wowing' everyone at USC, it seemed so left field when he backed out to focus on his studies." Edward shrugged, "But I'm sure it's clear to you that in no way he would have settled for hiding his identity or deal with the drama that comes with being out and a sport's figure."

"Did that upset him?"

"On the contrary. It's because of that, he met Jacob and got quite a comfortable job."

The young lady appeared once again, this time a bit more coordinated, hair in place, "What can I do for you gentlemen?" She asked politely.

"Water with lemon?" I asked, feeling a bit dull for requesting such a drink. It wasn't exactly a good idea to consume too much soda.

"Sprite." Edward requested with a gentle smile.

The girl nodded, "Do you still need more time with your menus?" She asked, pocketing her writing pad. Edward glanced at me for a second, then nodded, "Alright, be right back." She turned on her heels, a bounce in her steps.

We took that moment to browse through the menu with me trying to take note of what appealed more to my taste. In the recent days, I had a weird desire for potato skins, peanut butter and choclate, chilli chips.

Edward glanced at me over the menu, "Having trouble?" He asked, yet I could tell he was just asking to be polite.

I frowned, sliding my thumb along the number of meals, "Nothing looks..."

"Appealing?" He chuckled, placing the menu down on the table, "Here," He leaned forward over his menu to point to something on mine, "Try this."

I glanced at the order, then back at him, "Well, it looks like it could satisfy my taste." I mimicked his smile, trying to make it fit on my own face. It felt good having him there with me, talking about things that had nothing to do with our personal problems. And as much as I wasn't used to laughing, smiling or even feeling good, it was a fit I rather enjoyed.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, looking up at me sheepishly through long lashes. A flutter erupted in my stomach - suddenly it was hard to control my breathing, or thinking for that matter. It was silent at our table for a minute before he sweetly nudged me with his elbow, "Hmm, do you?"

"I do." I stammered, getting a wink from him.

"You'll love it, I promise."

xXx

"I still cannot get over how good that was," I felt a giddy giggle seep between my smile that I couldn't control. The afternoon air smelled of burgers and fries, but all my mind could focus on was the Cap N' Crunch fried chicken chicken strips with the peanut butter and fish sauce dressing, which smelled terrible, but tasted sublime and satiated my yearning for the creamy taste.

"Good things come from trusting me," Edward had an amused glint in his eye, but other than that seemed unphased by my out-of-character mood, "I never disappoint."

"Mmm," I licked my lips, recalling the dressing, "You don't." I glanced at him, surprised to see something stir in his expression - a look I had seen before, but couldn't put a finger on what it was. I shook off the weird feeling that gave me, "How did you know?"

Edward blinked and the look was gone, "My mom has been doing Expecting Care on and off for years now. I've seen some pretty sick things women eat when they are pregnant," He wrinkled his nose, "That item on the menu being one of the tamest. I personally never liked Cap N' Crunch, so I couldn't say it is good."

"It is." I corrected, catching him roll his eyes playfully.

"Right, right," He snapped his fingers as if he was slowly catching on, "Forgot." His phone rang, interupting our moment. He dug in his back pocket, pulling out his cell, checking the caller ID before grumbling to himself, "Sorry, Jazz. It's Em. Is it okay if I take it?"

"Sure." It was sweet of him to consider my opinion, but I was with him on his vacation time, the least I could do was let him take a call.

"Hey, Em," He spoke into the phone, keeping close to me as we strolled the boardwalk. There was a moment of silence, followed by a groan, "Yes, I'm with him...No, Em, we haven't....Fuck, is that all you think about?" He scowled into the phone, causing me to bite my lip to contain my smile, "Emmett, get to the point." He growled, "Alright, we'll see." He hung up the phone and shook his head.

"You alright?" I prodded, almost sure that he was more annoyed with his friend than angry.

"Yeah," He sighed, "Emmett invited us over for dinner," He waited for my reaction, when I didn't say anything he shrugged, "It's not up to him that you come, it's up to you. If that's not what you want-" For the first time that afternoon, he actually appeared a bit upset.

"Is it what you want?" I asked. I had no problems with Emmett, in fact, I had to admit to myself that I rather enjoyed his company and took to him easier than anyone other than Bella and Edward. He made me laugh, despite his interest for saying some rather uncomfortable things. Edward registered the question, giving me a perplexed look, "It's your vacation, Edward," I explained, "You should do what you want."

"But what I want is to be with you." Hearing those words opened some sort of floodgate of emotion in me. I felt my heart pulsing in my ears and I was all too sure that my cheeks had gone red, "I mean, I enjoy your company and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." He corrected. I suddenly suffered a wave of relief and disappointment.

I held my hands in front of me, scared that he'd seem shaking. I had to get over this. Edward was a good guy as was he beautiful and a loyal friend. He'd be a perfect friend for me, but I couldn't just assume that he had any type of feelings for me, even if my own feelings were swelling, growing and warming for him.

"Do you not want to go?" the volume in his voice dropped and he took a step forward, wrapping his fingers around my intwined hands. He had caught the gesture, that I'm sure he feared and resented it, because before it meant that I didn't trust him, whereas now, it meant that I trusted him too much and took to him too easily, "Love, speak to me." I felt a shimmer of hope rise in me when his hand came up to cup my face, his thumb rubbing circles in my cheekbone.

"It scares me," I started, not sure if I should finish or not, but the look on his face when I began was of horror, so I had to let him know the truth, "It scares me that I'm so comfortable with you - that I care about how you feel."

His emerald eyes flickered back and forth between my own. For a moment, I saw anger flash in his eyes, and that frightened me, but then, it was gone just as quickly, replaced by something that resembled adoration, "You shouldn't be scared. It makes me happy that you would feel that way," He started slowly, his thumb continued its massage, "I'm staying here, okay?"

"No," I frowned, "We should go. It'll be fun." I wanted to see Emmett and Jacob and I wanted Edward to have a good time.

He chuckled, shaking his head, "No, love, that's not what I meant," He leaned in only for a second, before dropping his hand, "How about we get ourselves a churro, before heading over?"

xXx

AN: Hooray, to Edward and Jasper being closer! This is the start of a new beginning!