AN: Hi guys...I'm really sorry for the late update, its really been a while... I just got busy with my final year of college starting and all, I've finished this chapter a while ago I'm just glad I finally have the time to upload it...

I'd like to think you guys for taking the time to review I really appreciate it, it always motivates me to write when i read your reviews...

enjoy and pls let me know what you think ;D

CHAPTER 11

Broken

Usagi's POV

I opened my eyes to see Misaki sitting on the coffee table in front of me, he placed his right hand on my left shoulder shaking it gently. I must have dozed off while they were preparing breakfast.

"Usagi-san breakfast is ready" he said as he got up and headed to the table to help Aikawa set it up.

The smell of food was filling the room; I didn't notice how hungry I was till I smelled it. I got up and headed to the table and sat down on my usual seat. Misaki sat opposite of me as Aikawa sat on my right, between me and Misaki.

The food looked delicious so I started eating. After a couple of bits I noticed Misaki hadn't even touched his food. He was just staring at it, his eyes half lidded as he looked down at his food.

If I'm hungry then he must be starving…

"Misaki? Why aren't you eating?"

It took him a while but then he said in a whisper"…not hungry…" Aikawa had stopped eating and was looking his way.

"You haven't eaten anything in two days, you're right you're not hungry… you're starving" I said slightly irritated with his answer. He lowered his head a bit more but didn't say anything. I slapped myself mentally for my impatience; Misaki was hurting, I have to be more patient…

Aikawa trying to get him to eat said "Misaki-kun come on, I've always wanted your opinion about my cooking. Maybe you could give me some tips on it or something. Just take a bite to taste it would you?"

He was still silent; with his face hidden from me I was just hoping that he wasn't crying again. "Misaki, just take a bite for Aikawa's sake. I already know that it is not as good as your cooking but still…"

"Sensei. Don't insult my cooking when you haven't tasted it yet" she yelled. I knew that the omelet I was eating was Misaki's cooking so I was betting that he had the plate with hers. I was just hoping that it was as good as she says.

With a sigh I said "fine then. Misaki you decide. You are better at cooking than me so you would know." Aikawa and I were only praying that this technique would get him to eat. Aikawa reached out her right arm and put her hand on Misaki's shoulder.

"Misaki-kun...?" he raised his head a little and with a small nod he picked up the chopsticks and took a piece of omelet. He hesitated for a second then he ate it. "So what do you think Misaki-kun?" she asked him with enthusiasm "Is it good?" Misaki only nodded.

"Really? Is it really good? Look sensei, didn't I tell you." She said loudly as she usually did. I smiled slightly at the thought of getting him to eat at least a bite.

"I bet he is just saying that to make you feel good. He can't even take another bite of it" I smirked in her direction. She looked back at Misaki with puppy dog eyes.

"I-is that t-true Misaki-kun?" she said pouting with fake tears in her eyes. I got to hand it to her; she was a really good actress.

He looked at her and said "n-no it is good. R-really Aikawa-san" he then turned to me and gave me a glare which I returned with a smirk. I was happy to see his usual glare even if it only lasted for a second.

"Then why did you stop eating?" she said still pouting at him. He sighed and took another bite, he then turned to see if she was satisfied yet but he only ended up having to take another one because of her pout that never left her face until he had eaten half his omelet.

With a sigh of relief I went back to eating. A second later a loud thud resonated through the living room, my head snapped upwards in time to see Misaki getting up so fast that his chair fell backwards and he started running towards the bathroom. I followed right behind him worried, when I got to the bathroom Misaki was kneeling in front of the toilet seat, his body shook violently as he emptied his breakfast into it.

Misaki's POV

I really wasn't in the mood for anything. I thought that making breakfast would help take my mind of things but it didn't work as I expected. Then I had to eat because of Usagi-san teasing Aikawa-san about her cooking. For some reason I couldn't eat even though I didn't have anything for almost two days.

I was forced to eat even though I wasn't hungry and after the first two bites I was already full. The memories of my brother lying in a pool of his blood attacked my mind, then I saw an image of him in the hospital bed barely recognizable; I felt all the food in my stomach coming up my throat.

I ran straight to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. I noticed Usagi-san kneel beside me then I felt a cold damp towel on my neck. It felt good; my stomach still ached a bit. The memories just kept flooding my mind, the next thing I knew I was dry heaving, though my stomach was empty it still went on for a while.

It was really painful, my stomach hurt, my head hurt, my chest hurt, all the memories were so painful. After the heaving stopped I quickly closed the toilet seat and flushed it. For a moment I couldn't move; my hands on the closed toilet seat, kneeling in front of it and Usagi-san's arm around my back. I stayed still until I felt Usagi-san pull me away from the toilet seat. I sat back on my legs and looked up at him.

"Are you ok…?" his said, concerned eyes locked with mine. I answered with a small nod. But I wasn't ok… nothing was ok…I felt tears start to wet my cheeks as I shook my head right after the nod.

I just want to forget…

Usagi's POV

Was it the food?...

I quickly went to the sink and grabbed a towel that was next to it and damped it with cold water. I then hurried to where Misaki was and kneeled next to him as I placed the damp towel on his neck. He stopped for a second and I was glad it was over but then it started again. This time he had nothing left in his stomach.

I heard Aikawa's footsteps earlier as she followed me so I turned around to see her standing at the door looking really worried. I asked her to get him a glass of water and with a nod she left. At that I felt Misaki get up slightly. When I turned to face him again he was already flushing the toilet. He was frozen in the same position until I pulled him back a bit.

I heard Aikawa enter the room before he sat back and raised his head to look at me. He didn't turn his head he just looked at me sideways as I asked him "Are you ok…?" I was really worried he looked really pale not to mention the broken look in his eyes. He nodded and I could see the tears gather in his eyes and as soon as he nodded he shook his head and the tears started falling. "Misaki…?"

He fell to his side his right shoulder hitting my chest, his head right under my chin as he stated saying "…w-why…? U-Usagi-san-n w-why…? Why did h-he have to…" he still couldn't say the word 'Die'; his right hand just laid in his lap as his other one held onto my right sleeve. "…w-why c-can't I forget…" his sobs got louder at that.

"…U-Usagi-san…I-I just want t-to…forget…p-please…Usagi-san…Usagi-san…" he kept calling my name between sobs. It was heartbreaking.

"I'm here…shhh… I'm right here… It's going to be alright… You're going to be just fine…" I tried calming him down but nothing worked so I decided to help him get up and walk him to the sink. Once there I opened the tap and made sure the water was cold to help him quiet down a bit.

He washed his face with a few hand full's of cold water. After he was done I handed him a towel to dry up. I then sat him on the toilet seat and kneeled before him, I handed him the glass of water that Aikawa had left on the sink before she left us alone again, and watched him take a sip then I asked him "...what do you want to do? Is it back to bed or breakfast?"

He dried his tears with the back of his hands and then looked up at me "…n-neither…" he stood up slowly "I-I'm fine n-now…I-I'm s-sorry…" I stood up from where I knelt to face him.

"Don't be…" I cupped his face with both hands and gave him a peck on his head.

He raised his hands and squeezed mine slightly then lowered them to my sides and whispered "t-thanks…" he then started walking to the door. I followed close behind to see him heading back to the table.

The chair that Misaki sat on was up right again. Aikawa was clearing the table when she saw us coming and said "Misaki-kun... I'm so sorry. Are you ok?" she said really worried. She had Misaki's plate in her hand and was heading to the kitchen. "I didn't expect it to be that bad… please forgive me" she said apologetically as she dumped the contents of the plate in a trash bag in the kitchen.

"..n-no Aikawa-san it w-wasn't that…I-I haven't been feeling w-well that's all… r-really it's not your cooking…" he said really worried that she might take it personally. Concern was showing on his face "I- I'm really s-sorry…" the kid wasn't fine, he wasn't ok at all. His tears started falling again.

He gasped in surprise as he felt the tears on his cheek "Misaki…?" what is going on in his head? If only I knew…?

"…I-I'm sorry… s-sorry…I-I'm r-really s-sorry…" he choked out, as he started wiping his tears with his arms and the back of his hand frantically.

I walked towards him and wrapped my arms around his quivering body as he started to sob in my chest "Misaki…"

"I-I'm sorry… I-I'm s-sorry… T-they just w-wont s-stop…I-I d-don't know w-why… b-but the t-tears w-wont s-stop…" He kept apologizing over and over again.

"Misaki… It's ok…it's ok to cry… It's ok…" I ran my fingers through his hair hoping that it would help but he just kept apologizing over and over again.

"… t-that s-stupid c-car… t-that stupid … k-kid…s-stupid…s-stupid n-nii-chan…" I was surprised when he started yelling these words.

"Misaki…" I said his name in surprise.

"…w-why did he have to l-leave m-me…w-wh-hh-y…" Aikawa was standing next to us after Misaki had started yelling. She had a hand on his back trying to comfort him.

"Misaki-kun he didn't leave you because he wanted to. You must know that if he had any choice in what happened he would choose you…" she said in a tender tone.

"B-but he did choose…h-he did choose… and he choose to j-jump in front of t-that s-stupid car a-and get himself killed…" Misaki had turned to face Aikawa as he spoke those words, his expression a combination of rage and pain. My eyes were wide at what he said; I knew he was in pain and that he blamed himself for the accident. But what I didn't expect was for him to think that Takahiro had chosen to die and leave him alone.

"Misaki…" as if realizing what he just said he covered his mouth with both hands then started to mumble apologies all over again.

"…I-I'm s-so sorry…I-I…" his sobs got in the way of his words. "I-it wasn't h-his fault… I-it was m-mine…I w-was the r-reason… I-I killed… n-nii-chan…" his forehead touching my right shoulder as he said it.

"No! No it wasn't…! It wasn't his fault and it definitely wasn't yours" I said sternly, I held him closer when he clung to my shirt and just cried. I guided him to the couch and sat him down and I sat on his left as he kept crying.

He raised his hands and covered his face; I kept my arm around his back holding him close as I used my other hand to put the stray hair that had fallen on his face behind his right ear "…A-am I… a b-bad person for… w-wishing it was t-that kid and… not n-nii-chan… t-that…t-that…" his body wrecked as he sobbed harder.

"No you're not… No you're not" I pulled him into a hug and rocked him. Aikawa's phone rang from somewhere behind me. I turned my head to see her holding it in her hands and then look towards me sadness filling her eyes. I just nodded to her to answer her phone.

She went out to the corridor to answer it and when she came back she walked straight to us and sat on the coffee table in front of Misaki. She then turned to me with an apologetic look and I knew that it was work. I was glad that they called I didn't want her to see Misaki like this any longer.

She opened her mouth to say something but I beat her to it "its ok you can go." I said looking directly into her eyes.

"…b-but…" she then turned to look at Misaki but he still had his face covered with his hands, not seeming to notice our conversation "…Mi…"

"I'm here. Don't worry about him" I cut her off with those words, praying that she would just leave. She then looked back at me and with a nod she got up and ruffled Misaki's hair slightly before she turned around to gather her things before she left.

As she reached the door I said "Thank you" she just gave me a sad smile before she turned around and left. I turned my attention back to Misaki who was still sobbing in my arms and raised the arm that was wrapped around his back to his head and stroked his hair tenderly.

With his sobs less than before I pried his hands from his face and kissed the tip of his nose and then planted one on his each tear filled eye. I then placed a hand on his right cheek and my lips on his left ear as I whispered "It's not your fault…" wiping away the tears on his cheek with my thumb "everything is going to be just fine, ok?" he didn't move an inch or say a word "Misaki, ok?" I just felt his head move, left cheek touching the palm of my hand as he nodded.

At that I placed a kiss on his temple and moved back to look at him. "…you tired?" I asked seeing his exhausted face.

He hesitated for a second then whispered "…a-a bit…" I moved off the couch and kneeled next it, and then placed my hands on his shoulders.

"Then why don't you lie down. Try to sleep for a while." He shook his head tears still falling down his cheeks. "I'll be right here ok. So just rest"

He lied down on his left side, his eyes still on me. "…my h-head hurts…" he whispered.

I placed my left hand on his head as he was holding my right with both hands. I slowly ran my fingers through his hair over and over again and whispered "just close your eyes." He looked uncertain at first but then his eye lids slowly fluttered shut.

After a minute had past his breathing seemed to even out. Emotionally exhausted; he drifted to sleep as I expected he would. Still running my fingers through his hair I whispered to him "I love you Misaki" I placed a kiss on his head and then got up and grabbed a blanket from one of the rooms and covered him with it.

I headed to the kitchen after that and cleared the table. Aikawa had gotten most of it cleaned up; all I had to do was to remove a couple of bowls off the table and wash the dishes. After I was done I went back to where I left Misaki sleeping to check on him. He was still in deep sleep.

I was aching for a smoke. Not wanting to bother Misaki with the smoke while he slept I headed into the other living room and sat on the couch opposite the TV and took out a pack of cigarettes that was in the drawer of the table that sat next to the couch. I had placed it there a few days ago when I decided to do some work in here.

Taking out a cigarette from the pack and using the lighter to light it, I inhaled a lung full of smoke and held it for a bit before exhaling it. It felt so relaxing; it's been too long since my last smoke. It was when I got that phone call from Minami to go to the hospital to be exact.

I took another drag from the cigarette and exhaled it. I tried to forget all that had happened for a second. I turned on the TV and started flipping through channels not really interested in anything. Every once in a while I looked back to where Misaki was laying in case he woke up.

After a while of just flipping through the channels I just settled on the one I normally watched which was about the typical Japanese family life. I just sat there watching for a while until I started to drift back to the memories of high school and when I first meet Takahiro. The memory seeming so distant and yet as if it was just yesterday.

But it wasn't. It was a very, very long time ago and now I won't be able to see him anymore or even reminisce on the memories that just the two of us shared. It is a fact that I would rather ignore and yet I couldn't. He was dead. He will never come back again.

I felt something drip on my clutched hands that were resting on my lap. When I looked down it looked like water, I raised my head and inspected the ceiling but it wasn't the source. I raised my hand to my right cheek only to discover that my tears have started falling without me even noticing it.

It reminded me of Misaki from the day of the accident, of Takahiro's face when we visited him, of his heart stopping and of the doctor telling us that he didn't make it.

Takahiro… you are deeply missed… I hope that you are at a better place… I promise you that I will take care of your little brother…

I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked down at the pack of cigarettes only now realizing that I have emptied half the box. Deciding that I have had enough I put the pack on the coffee table in front of me. I then looked up towards Misaki to check on him.

He wasn't on the couch anymore he was standing at the entrance of the living room that I was in just looking at me with half lidded sleepy eyes. When he saw me turn towards him he started walking my way and sat on my right. He then slowly lowered his head onto my lap. I looked down at him shocked by his action.

With a smile on my face I let my right hand fingers tangle into his hair. "U-Usagi-san… you reek of cigarettes…" he mumbled.

"Mhm…"

After a short pause he said "Usagi-san…?"

I looked down and asked tiredly "…yeah?"

His right hand clutched the fabric above my knee and I could feel his tears soaking up my pants, then he said hesitantly "I-I… c-can't I-I…?" he turned his head to face me his hand still clutching my pants. He looked at me with tearful eyes and said "I-I couldn't prevent w-what happened to nii-chan but…b-but I don't w-want to see a-anyone I l-love suffer and… d-di…e-ever again"

That cursed word was so painful for him to say and yet… wait... is he talking about me…?

"Misaki? Is…? What do you mean?"

"P-please… U-Usagi-san…d-don't make m-me go through that a-again…" his tears flowing like an open tap, not stopping, not once. Am I adding to his suffering…?

"Misaki? Is this about me smoking?"

"Please… I-I'm not asking you t-to quit right away… j-just less…P-please Usagi-san… I don't want to lose you…" his pleading eyes still locked with mine.

My fingers still tangled in his hair, I ran them through it a few times before I said with a small smile on my face "anything for my Misaki" I knew I was going to regret that, I needed my cigarettes but still for some reason I could never say 'no' to him. The only person in this world that has such a strong hold over me…My Misaki…

He turned back to his side and said "I-I'll h-help you…"

The smile from earlier still on my face I simply said "…yeah..."

TBC

AN: I promise I'll try my best to upload the next chap as soon as I can...