I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! I've been on holiday and between that and work I just haven't had time i am SO SO SO SORRY!

Thank you to everyone that has reviewed. I can't believe we've cracked over a hundred reviews on a story I came up with writing on my iphone during my lunch break at work. That's crazy. I hope this chapter was worth the wait, much love to all of you who have stuck with it!

Don't get to close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
- imagine dragons: demons

He could finally take a deep breath without feeling a stabbing pain shoot through his entire body. The wounds were starting to heal and the stitches out. Two weeks chained to a hospital bed and a further ten days in the prison infirmary had done wonders for his physical recovery. Harvey could barely look himself in the mirror anymore. The body he had once prided himself on was now riddled with scars serving as a constant reminder to how he had attained them. The jagged pink lines making him feel sick to his stomach as he remembered the exact moment he took another mans life. He wondered to himself if the feeling of nausea would ever go away? Would he ever be able to forgive himself over the incidents that took place in the riot. A small part of him wondered if the guard had been able to get himself out unharmed. The larger, more bitter part couldn't help but blame the guard. If he hadn't been so stupid to get himself trapped inside then Harvey would never have been put in that situation to begin with.

The calls and letters from his friends now went unanswered. The desperate cries to contact him were ignored. He could no longer find it within himself to converse with the people of his former life. The depression moving over his soul was growing in nature every day. This was now the longest he had gone in the last fifteen years without speaking to Jessica, to Donna, to all of the people that had become his surrogate family. He couldn't do it to them anymore. He could no longer pretend that he was the same man they once knew. Every single part of him was now different. His hair was different, his body once untainted was now littered in scars, his personality had drastically changed. Harvey Specter was someone he himself now no longer recognized and he couldn't expect his friends to feel the same about him. He knew them well though, they would stay around him more so out of obligation than the belief that he was still as innocent as the day he had been locked up. They would tell him it didn't matter to them, that they loved him regardless, he knew the truth that behind the lies was them holding onto a hope that maybe he hadn't changed. He wasn't going to let them suffer from his lies anymore.

Life was different now.

He liked the new prison. Still kept in a medium security zone, he was pleasantly surprised to see that this facility housed low level offenders too, although kept in a different area. Harvey was pleased to see he was still in a cell of his own, he didn't think he could deal with having to share with some new prisoner at a time like this. His old cell had a collection of photos with his friends, letters that had been sent to him and various other wall art. Now the walls of his new cell were bare, he couldn't stomach the thought of having their smiling faces taunt him anymore. He didn't want any reminders of what his life was like before this hell began.

He stood in the yard on a hot summers day. His back leaning against the fence that separated the minimum and medium security prisoners. He could see other prisoners working out on the gym equipment, others enjoying friendly games of basketball. Once upon a time he would be joining in, reveling in the need to do some outdoor exercise. Now he was more than content to stand back and watch, to play no part in the fun and games others were engaging in. He didn't deserve to have fun anymore. He had decided to inflict the punishment of wallowing in his misery for the rest of his sentence, it was the least he deserved. Harvey wondered to himself what had happened to Ryan and George, the only two people he had met in prison that came even remotely close to being classed as friends. Were they separated? Had they survived the God awful riots or had something awful happened to them? He knew he was unlikely to ever get the answers to those questions but each and every day he couldn't help but pray that they had been spared the same awful fate as him.

Times like this made Harvey glad both his brother and father had passed away. The thought of having them see him in here, to know what he had done, made him sick to his stomach. It made him contemplate the afterlife more than he ever had before. If heaven existed is that where they were? Could they see him from wherever they had ended up. He hoped to God they couldn't see him. The shame of knowing there was a chance they were both looking down on him made him sick to his stomach. He hoped that one day, if he was ever lucky enough to be reunited with them that they had no idea what had happened since they left this earth. His father had always been the one to push Harvey towards greatness, instilling in his young son from early on that the stars could be yours so long as you had the dedication and hard work to aspire to get them. He missed his father so much it physically hurt. Marcus had been much more playful than Harvey ever was. His brother had always seen the best in people, the good in the world, whereas Harvey choosing to be more skeptical. Harvey held on to those last moments with his brother, no matter how hard it was to be chained whilst his brother lay bedridden and weak. He was glad he didn't have to face his brother now and admit that Marcus' childhood hero, the man he always looked up to was no better than the criminals Harvey spent years locking up whilst at the DA's office.

There was no one in the world Harvey hated more in that moment than Harvey Specter himself.

He was brought from his musings by a voice somewhere in the distance

"Harvey…"?

He had no idea whether he wanted to turn around or not

After more than a year in prison Mike was well accustomed to the routine of it all by now. Wake up was always his least favourite time of the day as the prison interior was flooded with lights. Breakfast a meek affair of toast and soggy cereal followed by the lovely communal showers. He loved spending his afternoons reading as many books as possible from the library, in the fifteen months behind bars Mike reckoned he had read nearly three quarters of the books on offer. He was almost done with his community college courses, one step closer to having a plan of what to do when he was finally released.

For so long he hadn't entertained the idea of what he would do when these four walls were no longer his home. The thought of the big wide world scared him, he was no longer a fake lawyer, an investment banker, he was now nothing more than a criminal. He had been faced with the impossible task of thinking how to rebuild, to grow from this. Mike counted himself so lucky that he still had Rachel standing by his side through it all, he had no idea how he would have coped without her. Her constant visits, streams of phone calls and inventive letters always served to brighten his day and remind himself that he wasn't alone in all of this.

What terrified Mike the most was Harvey. The thought that when Mike himself was released, Harvey still had four more years to go. The thought of Harvey having to live with himself knowing he had killed a man. He knew from Rachel that Harvey had cut off all contact with his friends, most of them unsure as to what prison he had even ended up in. Mike knew that the firm had been his family, the very people he relied on most and it sent shivers up Mike's spine to think what Harvey must be putting himself through if he was no longer even allowing them to see him.

Hearing stories of Harvey from the people he had been incarcerated with had made him feel better about Harvey's time thus far behind bars. Stories of him protecting others, of the humour Mike knew he was capable of, his domination on the basketball court and the fact he had managed to stay mostly out of trouble. If you asked Mike what the hardest part of this whole experience was it wasn't the loss of freedom or the separation from Rachel because she remained such a constant in his life it was hard to miss her, nope, for Mike Ross the hardest part of being locked away was the separation from the man who had become his mentor, and in some ways his honorary father. The man who had pushed him to greatness, never letting excuses or weakness stand in the way of achieving his potential. The man who had sat on his couch whilst he cried and then got stoned in the very same sentence after his beloved Grammy died. Harvey was the man Mike trusted the most. The person he went to for advice, whose shoulder he could cry on if he needed to and at the same time be the man who told him when he needed to suck it up and be a bigger person. The loss of Harvey from his life was something that Mike missed every single day. He would give anything to take this all back, to have found another way but deep down he knew if none of this happen then Harvey Specter, Rachel Zane and all the other people he loved so dearly would have never entered his life and that was a hard pill to swallow.

Mike made his way slowly into the yard contemplating life and the twists and turns it had taken to land him here. He chose not to spend a lot of time in the yard knowing that his ball skills left a lot to be desired. It was a beautiful sunny day today and Mike thought himself a fool not to take the opportunity to soak up some rays. He made his way towards the end of the yard wanting something to lean on, heading towards the fence he saw a figure standing on the other side, back to Mike that stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Harvey…?" He called out softly, his breath catching in his throat.

The man made no move to turn around but from the way the man's shoulders instantly tensed, and the slight flinch, Mike knew he had the right person.

"Harvey, please look at me" Mike pleaded softly as he got closer to the fence, standing closer to his former mentor than he had in the past year and a half.

Still, Harvey made no move to acknowledge Mike. His body still tense and rigid as he faced away from Mike.

"Ryan told me what happened, he says he misses having you around" Mike tried, noticing the way some of the tension left Harvey's body at the mention of his former friend.

Mike stood there in silence for a few moments having no idea what to say. When he had his final goodbye to Harvey on the prison bus he had thanked the man profusely, he had poured his heart into acknowledging what the older man had given up for him. Once he had got started those words had come easy because Harvey knew what he had been signing up for when he walked into the D.A's office, but this? What had happened in the riot, that was not what Harvey had signed up for at all and Mike had no idea what to say to make his mentor feel any better.

"It wasn't your fault Harvey. You were the one who always told me sometimes that good guys have to do bad things to make the bad guys pay. I know you. If there was any other way of getting out of that situation, if you could have done anything different then you would have. You saved that guards life" Mike started

Harvey gave what Mike could only describe as a snort of disgust. He took it as a small victory though, being the first sign of life Harvey had given since the one sided conversation began. If it took Harvey lashing out in anger, Mike would do anything he could to at least get some verbal response out of the older man.

"When I was a kid, my dad and I saw a convenient store get robbed. I was only about eight. The man in the shop had sacrificed his life to save the people who were in there just going about their day. One of the ladies in there was pregnant" Mike paused, it was a memory he had long forgotten "When we got home I asked my dad why the man gave his life to protect everyone else. He told me that sometimes in life we all find ourselves pushed against a corner, forced to make a decision of right or wrong and when that time comes we all have to make a decision as to what person do we want to be. Do we want to be someone who runs and hides, or someone who stands up for what is right no matter the cost? My dad tucked me in that night and told me that the decisions we make in those moments shape who we are for the rest of our lives"

Mike gave it a few moments, not wanting to continue until he was sure Harvey had heard everything

"You were backed into a corner, it was either let the guard be killed or to fight back and try and save him. You could never have known that it was going to end that way. You have a choice now on how that shapes the rest of your life, you can both grow from it and let it strengthen you or sit in the misery that you've been forcing yourself into. No one can make that decision for you Harvey"

He could see Harvey's shoulders tense. He was unsure if that was through anger, or through understanding and acceptance. Either way he had done everything he could when a twenty foot fence acted as a constant barrier. He would give almost anything to be able to go over to Harvey and shake some sense into him.

"You get out of here in a month?" Harvey asked softly, his body still facing away from Mike.

Mike, momentarily taken back by not only the tired, defenceless voice that came out of Harvey's mouth, and the very fact he had spoken, took more than a few moments to respond.

"Ah, yeah I'm set for release in three weeks" Mike replied wondering where this was going.

"Forget about me, don't come back visiting, don't write. Move on with your life Mike and be grateful that you can put all this behind you and start your life over" Harvey sounded more tired than Mike had ever heard before.

"I can't do that Harvey and I won't. You might think that you're helping everyone by pushing them away but you're not. Everyone is worried sick about you. I'm not just going to leave this place and abandon you. No matter how much you think you deserve it" Mike couldn't help the trace of anger that was now slipping into his voice.

Harvey whisked himself around, now facing Mike gripping the fence in front of him so tight his knuckles were going white "Don't you dare stand there and tell me what to do, everyone in that firm is holding hopes that when I get out of here I'll be exactly the same person, that I'll pick up right where I left off and go back to the same Harvey they knew me as" Harvey's body was shaking with rage as he struggled to get a hold of his emotions. "That Harvey is dead and the sooner they accept that the better"

Mike took a moment to take Harvey in. His face darker, tenser than Mike had seen before. His body considerably more muscular than the last time Mike had seen him, the countless hours of cell time he had hadn't gone to waste Mike noted. What startled Mike the most was the faint trace of tears in the corners of Harvey's eyes. Mike could tell Harvey was doing everything he could to keep his emotions in check but as he stood there gripping the fence with all his might, emotions finally pouring out of him that control was slowing slipping away.

"No one expects you to be the same person and no one expects you to do this alone either" Mike replied tenderly.

"If you want to help me then tell everyone to leave me the hell alone. Stop calling me every day and stop trying to come and see me" Harvey bowed his head, breathing staggered, body still shaking.

"I won't do that Harvey. If you want them to do that then tell them yourself" Mike said sternly, feeling braver than he had in a long time.

"They are wasting their time with me. Don't you get it? Everything that has happened in here is my god damn fault. You're in here because of me. Rachel has to go home to an empty house because of me. Jessica lost her firm because she put her trust in the wrong person. Louis has to protect Donna because I was too do it myself. I ruined everyone's lives" Harvey held the fence limply, a few stray tears finally making their way down his face.

"Has anyone ever blamed you? Last time I checked we were all in this together and we all played a part. Not everything that goes wrong on this earth is your fault" Mike struggled to understand how the conversation had become so tense, so passionate. He was finally witnessing the great Harvey Specters walls crumble around him and he had no idea what to do to fix it.

"It doesn't matter anymore. You'll get out, start your life again and I'll finish out my time in here. By the time I get back you will have all forgotten me and that's the way it should be" Harvey replied, his eyes still firmly planet on the ground in front of him.

Mike heard the medium security buzzer go off around him signalling it was the end of their considerably shorter yard time. Since the riots the medium security prisoners were on tighter restrictions and Mike watched Harvey shudder before standing and locked his hands behind his head, the protocol for how they were now forced to walk when between buildings and not chained. Mike was sure he saw a wave of humiliation roll over Harvey as he had to stand there in front of Mike, forced to comply as he waited for the bell to sound that they could start moving towards the block again.

"If you think that I could ever, ever, forget you Harvey then you must have hit your head in that riot harder than we first thought. You made me who I am today and if I have to spend the rest of my life convincing you that you are worthy of everyone's love then that's what I will do. But make no mistake, you won't be getting rid of me that easy" Mike said with confidence.

The buzzer rang just as Harvey went to reply, instead he gave Mike a tight smile, tears still falling down his face.

Mike watched in sadness as Harvey began the walk back across the yard towards his cell block, standing in count with the rest of the prisoners as they were led inside. Mike hoped that he had gotten through to Harvey, that something he had said had made the older man see how stupid he was being. Mike prayed he would get to see Harvey once more before he got released but he had a sinking feeling in his stomach that Harvey wouldn't be leaning against the fence next time he came outside for rec time.

Three weeks.

He would spend every waking moment of that figuring out how to fix this god awful mess they had all found themselves in.

Harvey woke disorientated the next morning. After making it back to his cell he had collapsed onto his bed letting the silent sobs take over his body. He wasn't sure what time he had fallen asleep but he had woken groggy and confused. He was even more surprised when his door was flung open and two guards stood outside.

"Against the wall Specter" They called out.

He pulled himself from the warmth of his cot and stood arms braced, legs apart, leaning on the wall waiting for the guards to come in.

"The hell is this about?" Harvey asked as the cuffs were secured around his wrists and ankles

"How the hell should we know? Some people here to see you. The wardens call that you can't get out of this one" The guard responded.

Harvey was confused as they led him down the long corridor. Not only was it not visiting hours for the medium security prisoners but the mere fact that Warden had overruled his no visitors policy to force him to see whoever was waiting for him. He was led to one of the bigger rooms, more homelike than any of the other visitors. He remembered hearing something that these were the rooms for prisoners with small children to come and see each other in.

Rounding the corner into the room Harvey saw Dr Agard waiting for him. She was impeccably dressed as usual, her smile almost looking happy to see him. The guards led Harvey to the chair opposite her, chaining his cuffs to a bolt under the table in front of him greatly limiting the amount of movement had in his arms. He couldn't help but feel a rush of humiliation pass over him.

"Harvey" She greeted him.

His eyes were glued to the table in front of him and his expression was that of a sulking teenager but he didn't care

"What the hell are you doing here?" He bit out letting his frustration at the situation be known

"Donna contacted me asking for my help. They told me what had happened and how you refused to see anyone anymore. Turns out I know the Warden here's wife so I pulled some strings and am now performing your mandatory psyche evaluation that all prisoners must do" Her voice was light, eyes trained on the man in front of her.

"Well you're wasting your time. You might be able to force me to sit here but you can't force me to talk to you" Harvey replied still refusing to meet her eyes.

"No that's true. I can't force you to talk but I can force you to listen can't I, because like you said, it's not like you can go anywhere" She knew she was pushing his buttons, but she knew the man well enough from the previous sessions that sometimes the most effective way to get him to talk was to piss him off.

"You're smarter than that though so I'm going to give you a choice. Either you participate to the best of your ability for the next hour and I will leave you alone for good, you don't and I will come here every week and force you to listen to me until you decide you want to cooperate. The choice is yours" She said sternly

"That doesn't sound like much of a choice to me" Harvey bit back

She wouldn't be very good at her job if she didn't notice the subtle changes in the Harvey she had known. Sure there were the obvious physical changes he had undertaken but she was smart enough to know the change ran deeper than just that. She saw the way his eyes shifted from one side to the other, refusing to lock eyes with her: Shame. She noticed his leg bounce up and down never staying still for more than a second: Nerves. She noticed sadly the way his shoulders were tense, ready to spring into action if it wasn't for the chains holding him down: Fear. This was certainly not the same man she had come to know. It saddened her to know the once fierce, unwaveringly strong and charismatic man had now been turned to this shadow of his former self.

"So here's what I think. I think that you are feeling shame and guilt over what happened in those riots. I think you know deep down you did the right thing but are still seeing yourself as a monster because at the end of the day someone else died because of your hands and that was something you never saw yourself capable of. You're angry that you are locked away in here, even though you don't regret it you're still wishing like anything that things could have been different. You don't want to see your friends because your ashamed, but more than that" She paused looking deeply at the man in front of her "Harvey look at me"

She waited for him to comply, it probably took two minutes before his eyes met hers. She was taken back by the pain she saw in the brown eyes staring at her.

"You don't want them to see you because you're afraid that they'll think you're the monster you've convinced yourself you are. You don't want them to confirm everything you've been thinking about yourself and that fear is what's causing you to drive them away"

She watched as Harvey's face scrunched up, his eyes forcing themselves to close as he tilted his head to look towards the ceiling. His whole body now rigid and tense.

"And Harvey, that's all okay" She ended softly

His eyes snapped forward to meet hers, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

"It's ok for you think that they might see you differently because of that. It's ok to be scared and to doubt yourself. What's not ok is for you to shut them out, because Harvey they don't see you any differently from the man you were before"

"How can they not? I'm not the same person they knew. I'm doing them a favour by letting them go" He defended

"Are you?" She questioned "Because to me it sounds like you're making that decision for them and forcing them to lose you when all they want to do is love and support you. It sounds to me like you're taking the easy way out instead of confronting what's going on like a man and dealing with it" Nice girl routine was over, she knew to get through to Harvey she would have to push his boundaries and challenge his every thought process. If she simply held his hand and let him wallow in his self-loathing then she would be achieving nothing.

"Why do you think Donna rang me? Why do you think that the mailroom is full of unanswered letters all addressed to you?" She asked "Do you think that's because they simply pity you or because they feel sorry for you?"

"They will all be better off this way" He defended, his voice now far away and timid again as he retreated back within himself.

"Oh Harvey, you cutting them out has been harder for any of them to handle than you going away at all. You need to think about if the roles were reversed, if this was Donna or Louis who had done this or even Mike, if they had killed a man to defend another, would you stand by them regardless?" She stood up, motioning for the guard to come back in. He started unchaining Harvey from the table forcing him to stand.

"Think about that Harvey, I'll ask you again next week"

Harvey bit back a groan, not bothering to turn around as the guard led him out and back to his cell. As he was finally unchained he sat on his cot with his head in his hands and wondered what the hell he was going to do now.

Mike was pleasantly surprised when he went out to the yard the next week to find Harvey leaning against the fence again. This was the eight day he had come out hoping to see him and the first time he had actually been standing there.

Mike tried to hide his excitement as he walked over to Harvey who was casually leaning against the opposite side of the fence.

"You came back" Mike greeted wondering what kind of mood the older man would be in this time.

"Had to make sure you were still looking after yourself" Harvey replied smoothly not bothering to turn around.

"I've survived a year and a half, I think I can make another two weeks" Mike smiled to himself, internally wanting to jump up and down that Harvey was finally interacting with him.

"You never know what can happen in here" Harvey said back, his voice giving away that he was speaking from experience. Not for the first time Mike wondered what else had gone on during Harvey's time in prison.

The stood in comfortable silence for minutes, each man just soaking in the presence of the other.

"Harvey, what changed your mind" Mike knew he didn't need to elaborate more. He didn't need to explain that he was asking why Harvey had decided to show up at the fence where he knew Mike would be, or why he had finally decided to interact with his young protégé.

Harvey turned around to face make, his hands casually holding onto the wires of the fence "You'll be out of here in two weeks, back in the real world building your life again. I just wanted to make sure that you think you're going to be ready for that. It would be a bad look for me if you ended up back in here after five friggen minutes because it was all too hard for you"

Mike smiled softly at him, this was the Harvey he knows and loves, the one who hides his caring behind self-centred comments.

"I'm scared shitless. I know Rachel's going to be there every step of the way and I've got my community college course and a potential job lined up. It's just going to be different you know" Mike shrugged. He hadn't spoken of his fears of being released to anyone.

"You get a job, you stick with it. You don't go anywhere near drugs or alcohol. If I find out you've stepped even one foot out of line I'll break out of this place and come down and kick your ass" Harvey gave what could only be described as a ghost of a smile. Mike took it regardless.

"I think I'll have the whole firm making sure I am on constant watch" Mike laughed

"Maybe it won't be so different from in here after all" Harvey joked.

"I'm so sorry that you've still got years of this Harvey, I wish I had never signed that deal before finding out the clauses in it, you taught me better" Mike apologized

Harvey waved his hand up showing his disapproval for what Mike was saying.

"You listen here kid, I made sure the D.A wouldn't tell you what the clause was when she came to make you sign it. I don't care what has happened to me in this place or how many years I've still got to go. You go out there and you get a job and you make something legitimate of yourself that's all that matters to me. I don't care if I'm in here for the next twenty years, you deserve to have a normal life, god only knows how much shit you've had to deal with so far. So don't you worry for one second about me, when you get out just forget about this place and go and live your life" Harvey explained.

"Can I visit you?" Mike asked, the pleading in his voice was hard to miss.

Harvey contemplated it for a few minutes thinking over his options. "I'll make you a deal. Give it six months, six months to sort your life out and get settled down without having to think of this place and then you can come and see me. Even one day early and I'll have you removed from the visitors list"

"Six months" Mike paused "Deal, but I can write you letters and you have to reply to at least one that six month period or you have to see me earlier"

"Deal" Harvey smiled.

Two weeks.

Then his whole life to sort out.

At least he knew he had his mentor back on side.

So there we go another chapter down. I can promise you that we aren't done dealing with Harvey's issues just yet, Dr Agard will be back next chapter and things will get rough for Harvey I just wanted to have a nice Harvey/Mike moment since the last time they saw each other was like chapter two or three. We will also have Mike's release next chapter which will have the whole gang involved. Will definitely have the next chapter up sooner than this one took. Leave a review, you know I love hearing your ideas and try and include some of them!