Chapter 12

I hear the door click closed and turn my head to see Eric who gives me a tight smile. "Did you really want me to tattoo you or did you just want to get me out of the way?"

I shrug "I wouldn't mind if you did and I wasn't trying to get YOU out of the way more like make a point to Four."

"Yeah well, point fucking made I guess. Do you mind…" He didn't even wait but just took the bottle and tipped it back. After a second he put it down and shook his head.

"Ok, I am going to try really fucking hard here Raven, but the moment I saw you out there I don't think I know what the fuck was said. So run by me what exactly just happened?" His voice still sounds a bit dazed and husky.

I smiled a little impishly. "I might have called you all boy's throwing tantrums. Then there was the whole ménage trois reference to fuck with Bud…"

He held up a hand. "Stop, I cannot listen to that word come out of your mouth with you like that. Do you know the things I fucking want to do to you right now?" He starts to come closer and I can tell he basically has no iris left, just a very thin silver bit. My mouth goes dry and I reach for the whiskey but he stops me by grabbing my hand so fast I didn't see it move.

"Answer me Raven." He commanded me.

"Very, very bad things?" I whisper in a breathy voice and my mouth drops open at my own words.

The look comes over his face of being absolutely pleased with my words just before he looks me up and down in this slow and leisurely movement. "Couldn't fucking have said it better myself." He murmurs.

My pulse starts to race and my skin flushes and I just wait for him to do something. He doesn't though and before his gaze has even made it to my chest I get impatient. I whip around and pull him closer to me by his vest and crash my lips to his. I hear his groan of approval and my moan joins that as my tongue claims his mouth.

I taste the whiskey we were both drinking but also this undertone of some kind of coffee. No that isn't right. It isn't coffee but one of my favorite things which is Chai tea. His hands go around my waist and pulls me off the chair and into his lap where my legs go on either side of his legs.

He wrests control from me and takes over. Sucking my bottom lip into his mouth and biting slightly and I moan at the feel and the very faint copper taste that fills both our mouths.

He pulls back and hovers his lips right above mine "We have to stop Raven. Not that I don't fucking want too…"

I nod panting "Four would lose his mind..."

He laughs a bit "I don't fucking care about that. I just would rather take my time."

I swallow again and he smirks at me. "Sexy as hell one minute and innocent as fuck the next but still while sexy. You're killing me."

"I should be upset by that because?" I blush making a mockery of the brazenness I am trying to show.

"You shouldn't." He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. "Let's see if I have any amount of self-control before the end of the night." He pushes up and stands while holding on to me by my ass and groans at that. "Fuck I did not think that part through."

I laugh a little bit as he sits me back in the chair and hovers over me for a second. We move to kiss each other again but it is a little bit slower until he breaks away before we get too into it.

He collapses into the stool beside me again and moves to where my arm is propped up and runs his hands over his face for a minute and then looks at me again and bites his lip.

"Fuck that is even worse because you are laying back there panting, looking for all the world like I just fucked you." He takes the bottle and tips it back. "I am going to have to agree with Four and ask that you put at least some pants on for me Raven." He sounds pained even asking me and I smirk kind of loving this side of Eric.

"A brave man never surrenders Eric." I copy words he mocked me with when he went to torment one of my friends and then made me stand in front of the knife target while he threw knives at me.

He groaned. "I knew that was going to come back to bite me in the ass with you."

"Do you really want me to get pants on? I will if you do. I don't see how it would really help I mean I know I have a pretty active imagination and…" I trail off as I looked over him.

"You what, have imagined me?" He said crossing his arms over his chest now looking a bit smug.

"You encroached on my training time in the gym one night and I saw your back but not the rest and you were all…" muscles rippling and sweaty and punching the bags and holy fuck. I shiver as I close my eyes and lick my lips. Putting a hand to my head and then open my eyes back up.

His eyes narrowed and he moved closer. "When was this?"

I shrugged "It was sometime after capture. I think after we got back. Everyone went to bed but I couldn't sleep, too much adrenaline"

He smiled "Probably because you zip-lined twice in a row."

I frowned "How did you know about the second time? I snuck…" Realization hit me "The sling was already set up because you were there when I made my way up again."

He nodded "Can't really be seen as the asshole leader if I am actually enjoying myself can I?"

I frowned , upset at that and him putting himself down. "Why do you need to be the asshole? You are a good leader. You aren't the youngest anymore so you don't need the intimidation to make up for the age."

He sighed "Maybe I am just an asshole." He picks up Tori's gun and starts to work on the flame parts that need to be filled in since the wrist cuff and shoulder and most of the arm are all done. "The tattoo is amazing by the way. I like what you did with the other one. The garter/3D/mechanical aspect combo it suits you."

I smile at him with my eyes closed and sigh. "Thank you."

"So is your Aunt going to come see you on Visiting day?" He asked while still working on my arm.

"She wants to and I would like to see her." I open my eyes and look at him. "Eric, do you know who my Aunt is?" I ask somberly and quietly.

He stops for a moment and looks at me "No, should I?"

I shrug and frown. "Something Tris said worries me. Not many people know she was even my Aunt. My Father had cut ties with her but she started taking care of me and letting me come see her when I was very young. She protected me from my dad and my mom checked out. But to protect me from, stuff I guess, she didn't want to tell anyone. She apparently made enemies. But Max, Andrea and Tris know her."

I saw him tense but shake his head and start working on me again "No, they didn't tell me. Did they say why they wouldn't tell me?"

I shook my head "No, they just asked me not to have her come for the first few months so people could get to know me. I already knew Max for a while. I sort of idolized him growing up. My Aunt and I knew from the time I was 6 I would be coming here. I ramble when I get tattooed, sorry."

He smiled "Whiskey and tattoos are a dangerous combination. I can see why you only let Tori or Tris then. It is usually George or Bud for me."

I grin "George isn't allowed near me, he apparently told Four he was going to ask me out as soon as I was available. He was kidding but" I waved to the main room. "Four is Four."

He snorted "He wasn't even that overprotective of Tris. I know you are close but how did that happen?"

I shrug with a frown. "You know about his dad obviously, but Marcus used to come on his own to Erudite for meetings with other leaders. He brought Four and I met him in the library. We kind of hit it off, he was surly I needed to piss him off because of his surliness. I recognized signs in him and he of me. So we started a friendship outside of that and would see each other out of school but also at school. When he wouldn't show up I found his house and would take care of him. He tried to help me but it is easier sneaking into abnegation than erudite. It went like that for a few years and when I was 12 his dad had come to Erudite but he was upset about something there. Four had obeyed him and stayed in the library but I was there and he was sitting close to me as we were reading about strategies of the Persian Empire and Phalanx formations."

He stopped working and took a drink from the whiskey and handed me the bottle watching me drink it then sighing and starting again. "Even that is fucking sexy as fuck. Go ahead."

"He yanked him up and Tobias was already in pain because he had been horrible the nights before. The closer it came time for his choosing the worse he got. I couldn't take it anymore and I went for the weakest point on Marcus. I threw my entire body against his knees and he went crashing. I took a book and slammed it into his head and told Tobias to go. He couldn't and wouldn't run until Marcus picked me up by my neck and was about to body slam me over his knee. Tobias came to life and he never let Marcus touch him again. Marcus ended up cracking his own fucking head on a bookshelf and Tobias was so scared for me he just grabbed my hand and we took off. I told him to go home that I would take the fall if Marcus was seriously hurt or we had killed him. I even accessed my aunts codes and deleted the footage. I packed some clothes and a gun my dad had and I was running away. He couldn't let me do it alone and he insisted going with me. I took him somewhere that we couldn't be found. We did end up being found but only because I went to turn myself in. I snuck away in the night and marched straight up to Candor to turn myself in for a crime they couldn't find anywhere on the books. My aunt just happened to be in the area for a meeting and refused to let me go back for him. I have never struck her or thought of it, but I knocked her out and stole her car to go get him, her still in the back seat. I drove it back to Candor and tried to turn myself back in. They only had Dauntless guards come get me if only to stop me from going out and doing anything else to try and get myself arrested."

He had to stop for a second as he was laughing "You were fucking determined to be arrested?"

I frown "No, not really. I didn't want to be taken from her or Tobias but I had done wrong Eric. That matters to me. I can't help the people around me and what their actions are but I can mine. Maybe I also thought it would be better than to have to pretend I was part of some great family when my father is just evil."

He gets quiet and starts the tattoo again. "What about your Aunt? Is she evil?"

I sigh "I don't think so. She isn't perfect or even innocent but…" I looked at him levelly. "I volunteered for something. She had been working on a project and it was dangerous. I couldn't let that continue so I told her something about myself and I knew I could be killed."

I looked away when I saw his face flash anger and his jaw clench. "It's ok if you hate me. They said she did something bad but I couldn't bring myself to find out what. I try to make my own decisions about people and I didn't want to know."

He continues to work on the flames and we don't talk anymore while he works. "Have I been mentioned?" He finally asks in a pained voice and I turn back to him frowning.

"No, I knew you were a leader because I learned all the senior staff so I wouldn't make an ass of myself. I had heard rumors about you being a hard ass in training and being cruel. Like I said I don't listen to others though. Perception is clouded by one's owns experiences." I sigh sadly.

"Chris did mention something once about you hanging her from the Chasm but I asked her what she expected. I knew about the fights Tris had gone through and she wasn't a good fighter at all but she stayed in there and got hit. My brother beat the shit out of her and she didn't try and beg for mercy. Chris saw all of her friends being hurt yet she couldn't continue? She didn't like that answer. Odd for a former Candor but I told her that she only liked the truth when it served her then." I shake my head and drink some more whiskey.

"She's on the fence now and I think she knows now. You can't be on the fence and not get it." I whisper.

Eric sighs "I don't like your Aunt very much Raven." He says simply.

"My guess would be more that you absolutely hate her. I don't know what happened to cause it but I won't ask either. That isn't me being afraid though, it just isn't my business."

The gun stops and he puts it down so I look down at my arm. He turns it over and fills in some more of the design on the underside.

My phone goes off so I open the messages and see it is from Four letting me to message him when I am done with my tattoo.

I type a quick 'fine' and put the phone down.

"Your aunt really sent you the gauges? She doesn't care you are a Dauntless?"

I nod "She wanted to give me the most Dauntless thing she could to show she still loves me and knows I am where I belong. But also because I think she misses me. I feel like I abandoned her at times and I worry without me there to ground her…"

"She must love you very much to support you like that, to risk coming here." He says bitterly almost mocking me. I turn my head away from him. She was right. Tris knew this would happen.

"I am not here for some kind of plot Eric. I hear the tone in your voice. I wasn't even aware someone would think that until Tris mentioned it. She told me to be prepared for people I was friends with or becoming friends with to see me as the enemy."

"Tris is smart then."

I nod but don't look back at Eric. The gun stops and he cleans everything and spreads the crème that will heal the fresh ink but not cause damage to the ink. He moves to the leg and puts some on that.

"You should get dressed now. I will see if I can find Uriah or Tris." Eric's tone had gone back to the tone he had used with me before my fight.

I nod "Thank you sir."

He sighs and I hear the door click shut. I sit there for a second or two more still not looking where Eric was just seconds ago. I take a drink and pick up the phone but don't type anything. I just stare at it for a minute before I get up and get dressed.

I walk out of the back room with my bag and walk out after waving casually to George. I let my steps carry me to the obstacle course with the whiskey bottle in my bag.

When I get to the room I flick on the overhead lights and walk over to the mats stacked to cushion a high drop on one part of the course. I take out the whiskey, another tank and my phone with headphones and armband.

I change my tank top and que up my music after I put the wireless headphones. I feel tears threaten my eyes and close them to enter my void. As soon as I am there I take a few big drinks of the bottle.

Four hours later the bottle is gone. I have run the obstacle course several times just without the weapons for that part and started the setup of the first one before my body had said it was ready. I grabbed my bag and went to the top of the tower and fell asleep right there. Tears stung my cheeks, the silent kind you wouldn't believe could be cried because it feels like a dam had been unleashed.