Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers

This chapter is the beginning of Renesme's transition into a new type of relationship with Jacob. I loved righting this because like all people I've been in this situation before and I know how painfully awkward it can be but also how rewarding it is in the end. Hope you guys like it.

NPOV

Would someone like to explain to me how I can make such an idiot of myself? I've tried to figure it out on my own but obviously since there's been no change, I still haven't figured it out.

I walked into my room and sat on my bed. Alice and I painted it last weekend, when we first moved here it was pale pink, like ballerina slippers. Now it was the color or the oceans in the Caribbean with a thick white carpet. I looked in the mirror and saw my flushed face staring back at me with wide eyes.

Why so flushed you might ask?

Well it's because I was just downstairs when Jacob walked in. Recently I've had trouble not thinking of him. Why hadn't I noticed how handsome he was before now? Well not just now, this has been going on for a few days.

It started when we were out hunting last week. It was just the two of us in the woods and we decided to walk back instead of our usual race. Maybe it was the lighting or something, I have no idea, but I just sorta saw him for the first time, really saw him. And staying true to my mother right after noticing this, I fell on my face.

Now this keeps happening! He walks in, says hi, I blush, and then I trip. On carpets, other people's feet, and most often... air.

He noticed the change too! Jake even asked me if I was mad at him. How could I be mad at him? He was my best friend!

Ugh why is it that I feel my heart drop whenever I say that. Especially when I told Jake, I felt like my chest was filled with cement and someone twisted my stomach like they were wringing something out.

It might be worth it though.

Yesterday when he gave me a hug goodbye I was so happy I was literally shaking.

I've always loved Jake but this is new. Maybe it's the imprint thing. That's why dad's mad at him. I heard him and mom talking about it.

"It's not fair for her. I understand Jacob is a trustworthy person and would do anything for her but she needs some sort of experience before becoming devoted for life!" I heard dad late one night last week. He must have been really distracted not to hear my thoughts near by.

Devoted for life. Like Jake would want to be "devoted" to me. I know he said the imprint thing would make him be that way but what if he changed his mind? Can he change his mind if he wanted to? He probably will after seeing my make such an idiot of myself all week.

I heard a knock on the door. I knew who it was before it opened. Great my hair was messed up too.

I tried to flatten my curls out in the two seconds I had before Jake walked in. It was a failed attempt.

"Hey Ness."

"Hi Jake." Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush!

"Why all you all alone up here in your room." It took him three strides to reach my bed and sit next to me. Even though we are the same temperature I felt like I could feel the heat coming off of his skin. Or maybe that was just my nerves. Why was I nervous again?

Great. From the side of my eye I saw my face in the mirror, my cheeks were deep red, and I haven't even tripped yet.

"I just had to," Sneak up here to think about what is wrong with me and why am I being such a freak around you, " grab my book." I quickly picked up the first book that was sitting on my bed side table. Wow I had great luck, it was a mythology book. I'm a half vampire sitting next to a werewolf and reading a stupid mythology book. God he must think I'm a weirdo.

Wait, no it's Jake. He's the kindest most thoughtful person I know he wouldn't hate me for a book I was reading... right?

"Oh okay. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You seem like you have a lot on your mind these past few days."

You.

For the first time I resented the fact that I have my mother's eyes. They hide nothing! It's bad enough with dad reading my mind, I don't want Jake to be able to too. I closed my eyes and massaged my temples, acting like I was thinking about something really hard. Really I was just buying myself time to think of a cover up story.

"It's just the whole... err... growth thing." Yes, that's a reasonable thing to be thinking about. Better then saying that I think I like my best friend more then I should. "It just sped up again so fast."

Technically I was thinking about that too. I was about five feet tall now and I looked almost eleven, and probably by tomorrow I would start looking twelve. My face had lost some of it's roundness and my hair finally got long enough that mom and Alice had no choice but to cut it.

I'm scared to death that at this rate I'll wake up next week and be a teenager. Normal kid's can't wait for their adolescence but not me. I had no idea what it would be like. Mom explained a little to me but she wanted to wait to give me the full details until I was "older."

These thoughts were in the back of my mind though. They weren't making me trip, blush and ramble like an idiot. Nope the cause of that was sitting right next to me.

"Aw I'm sorry. It'll get better you'll see. And then when it's all over you'll stay the same like the rest of us." He gave me a bear hug and I felt like I was going to explode. I could feel my heart rate accelerating.

"Breathe, you need to breathe! Calm thoughts, oceans, spring breeze... Jake. Ugh no, not Jake!" I was screaming in my head.

Finally he let go. I didn't him to though but it was for the best.

"Sure you're okay?"

I nodded unable to speak.

"Okay Nessie I'll be downstairs, are you going to come back down?"

"Mhm." Well, that was better then nodding at least. I wanted to say more but I was afraid if I opened my mouth everything I was thinking would spill out.

"See you down there," He kissed my head and went downstairs. My body went rigid. What's wrong with me! Why am I acting like such a freak?

I looked in the mirror again and saw a very pale me staring back. I shook my head to try and shake off all of the weirdness I was feeling. My bronze curls covered my face hiding my shocked expression. Maybe those kid's who always hide their faces with bangs had a good point after all. No, Alice would kill me if I only wore black.

Giving up hope in hiding my face, I put my hair into a low ponytail and grabbed my book to take downstairs.

The living room was a deep purple with high ceiling that had silver plated moldings. My mom helped Alice decorate this rooms and it turned out to be one of my favorites in the house. The floor was finished cherry wood but wood but, you could barely see it under the mix of rugs that were around the room. I loved this room because not everything matched perfectly. There were four mix matched reading chairs and a large leather couch in the middle.

I sat in my favorite chair right next to the white marble fire place. Somehow Alice had been able to find some drift wood and the flames were glowing bright blue green.

At some point I fell asleep next to the fire.

My dream was happy. Jake and I were walking together through the forest but I looked older and he was looking at me differently. It was a loving look but it seemed like a different kind of love.

Maybe there was hope, someday.

JPOV

I walked into the living room and saw Nessie sleeping by the fire. She looked so peaceful and innocent. I felt I could see her growing in front of my eyes. She said her growth spurt was why she was acting so weird lately but, she avoided my eyes the entire time. Looks like she inherited Bella's lying ability too.

Even if it wasn't freaking her out it it did for me. Looked almost six years older then she did when we moved here. And she was growing even fast now. By next week she would physically be 13, or at least Carlisle thinks so. Edward is on the edge because he's nervous about her getting to puberty. Honestly I'm worried about that too. Will I just wake up and be in love with her or something when she looks a certain age?

I looked at the little girl sleeping and I definitely felt love for her, just not that kind of love. But she was starting to think of me like that, or at least I think she was. I just have to hope that she doesn't actually fall in love with me before my feelings for her change.

I just can't wait for her to grow out of this particular stage. I remember the few girls that didn't think I was a bean pole used to act like this. I never really cared about them much so Embry, Quil and I would laugh at how they were acting so insane during recess. This was different though. As adorable as it was to see her blush when she saw me, it was horrible to feel how uncomfortable she was when I was around.

How couldn't I feel this way though? The little girl sleeping was just to precious for anyone not to love her. Her face broke into a smile as she slept. I wondered what she was dreaming about. Whatever it was she looked the most relaxed around me that she had in weeks. Or maybe that was because she didn't know I was there.

I finally saw how Edward had been able to just sit and watch Bella sleep all of those nights. Nessie doesn't talk in her sleep but her facial expression was almost too easy to read and right now she looked happy, which made me feel the same way.

NPOV

When I woke up the room was completely dark and all that was left of the fire were a few smoldering coals. I heard soft snores near by and saw Jake asleep on the couch. How long he he been there? Please tell me that I didn't talk in my sleep! I haven't inherited that trait yet and hopefully I won't. It's bad enough dad can hear my thoughts.

I listened around the house for the rest of my family. Alice was upstairs reorganizing her closet again and my parents were reading in the library. I could here faint sounds of Emmet and Jasper fighting outside but nothing from Carlisle or Esme. They must be hunting.

I looked at my feet and I felt as if I were looking down from a higher point then before. Ugh... I must have grown again. At this rate I'll look older then my parents.

Jake was right though, eventually I wouldn't have to worry about growing. Then I could focus all my worries on him and trying to act like a normal human being, well half human, whenever he was there.

Acting on impulse I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and before he could wake up, I sprinted upstairs smiling to myself.

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