THIS is the longest chapter I have ever written. Like, dude, this is worth 26 pages of 12 font, single-spaced goodness. (over 12,000 words. the equivalent of 3 chapters...) HOPE THIS MAKES UP FOR THE WAIT!
Shout-out to Dark-Supernatural-Angel whose review inspired this chapter!
I may or may not have been listening to Bloodstream by Stateless on repeat while writing this...
Disclaimer: No own LWD.
Hate Loving You
Chapter 12:
Love does not exist, Derek Venturi
"Hey Em! Could I ask you a huge favor?"
"-not here at the moment. Sing your song for me!-"
The beep was heard after Emily's voicemail message ended, Casey tried a couple more times to no avail. She finally hung up after leaving a small message asking her to call her as soon as she could.
"It kept sending me to her voice mail…now that I think about it, I tried calling her cellphone some time ago but she never picked up." A flash of memory enlightened her face and she felt an uncomfortable tension in her stomach.
"…Weren't you... with her just a while ago?" Casey turned around to find Derek with a strained expression on his face as if he were suppressing a smile with difficulty and forcing his face into a frown.
"Uh, Derek?…What are you doing?" Derek started and turned to looked at her, a mask of boredom on his face. Yet a slight crack seemed to open on the surface of his practiced pretense. After coming to terms with reality, he found that trying to hide his emotions wasn't as seamless as before.
"-What was that?"
"You were doing weird faces, just now." Casey said slightly amused. He noticed how subtle dimples formed on her cheeks as she smiled and he couldn't help but reminisce into the past. Suppressing the almost painful impulse to pull her close he shoved his hands in his pockets. Just what in the world was happening to him? Since when was he this type of desperate creep? Her eyes lit up for a moment. So fucking gorgeous... It took about two seconds for him to realize he had muttered that out loud.
"W-what?" She asked him, her eyes wide. Was that shock, or horror on her face? Or both? For the first time he couldn't tell, and would someone cue in the circus music and the laughter? It seemed fitting to him as the panic settled in his chest. Trying to avoid any more questions, Derek changed tactics.
"What were you saying before? You know I hardly register what language they speak on your planet, Space-Case." Whatever muddle of conflicting feelings she felt evaporated, of course there was no way Derek Venturi had ever said what she thought she heard. She almost laughed in self-deprecating fun. Almost. She glared at him. He let out the breath he had been holding and Casey observed him a little. Injuries aside, he seemed impatient, anxious. His hands were like fists inside his pockets as he tapped his right foot to an unknown rhythm. His dark gaze shifted about the place trying to avoid her. A noticeable blush was clearly on his face. Casey was beyond stupefied.
"I-I said, weren't you with Emily just a while ago? I can't get in touch with her..."
Emily… Derek looked away from her as all the memories came crashing down. Emily's unwavering attention as he muttered whatever the hell he felt was constricting the air in his lungs, those things he knew he was so much better without. Feelings? He could throw up. He felt Casey's eyes burning his skin, waiting for a response. He fidgeted in his place, suddenly uncomfortable. Her blue orbs seemed too piercing, too observant.
"E-mi-ly," she enunciated every syllable carefully. "You were with her earlier?..."
Casey's voice seemed to fade away as his mind wandered to the events of the previous hours…
-x-
Derek flinched in pain when he sat down Indian-style on Emily's white-tiled floor, as sitting down on her parent's pearly white couches was obviously a bad idea. Emily brought a towel for him to dry with along with a first aid kit and just followed his lead despite it being her own furniture and sat next to him, trying to ignore the mud marks he was leaving on the pristine floor. Could her parents and their house be less orderly and perfect? He doubted it.
The slight wheezing hadn't stopped, the cuts stung, but his mind was too busy to register it all. Derek had never felt so nervous and frustrated. Being found out and confronted by Lizzie was one thing, awkward but insightful. Plus, Lizzie did all the talking and strangely enough, he knew she wouldn't say anything to anyone else. Now it was his turn to put into words what he had never said out loud. All he kept from Miss Klutz all along and to Emily, Klutzilla's sidekick, felt as if he was caving his own grave, no less.
Emily opened the first aid kit and Derek looked down at it and shook his head, she tried to argue but he set his lips on a grim line and she eventually backed down with a heavy sigh. If he wanted to keep on hurting then it was on him! He rolled his eyes and took one of the cotton balls she offered to clean at the blood in his arms on his own.
"So…now will you tell me what is going on?" Emily said eventually, gently. Derek kept on staring at the floor, debating whether all of this had been a good idea at all. His eyes kept wandering around the Davis's spacious and clean living room, trying to find the tiniest spec of imperfection in an attempt to distract himself a little from the situation at hand.
Was all of this shit worth it? He wondered.
"…Derek?"
There was still time. Why not just go back to his own film, the one he'd written? To the game he knew the rules to front and back...because he had created them? He could. He knew that. Oh, he more than knew that. Why not just go back to the type of girls he knew would follow his lead in a heart-beat? They would definitively not put him into this type of maddening situation. Neither would they make things so damn difficult, or annoying, or frustrating... he put the bloody cotton ball down and his fingers played around with his shoelaces as he thought of this, grains of dirt leaving traces on his skin.
Images of the several giggling girls appeared in his mind. All were very attractive, flirts; they wore things that left little to the imagination...they would get his drift in a matter of seconds without beating around the bush, or waste time caring for unnecessary things like names...or reason. Their lips would be on his right away, no questions asked. They didn't need to know each other, in fact, for him, the less they knew the better. And they had never known, had they?
He had one hell of a time with them, but then again he couldn't really tell them apart. He knew exactly what those girls evoked in him. Lust.
And even that was ephemeral. Once it was over and they were gone, he was left yearning for something he couldn't name. Something he refused to acknowledge, but something that remained there none the less. Like a paper cut that stings a little too much. Like the nagging feeling of something important that's been forgotten.
He did not know them, he did not care, and they sure as hell did not care about him either. He knew. It was all about who took more. He liked to tell himself it was always him, he made the rules after all. But somewhere in the recess of his mind he had a bitter feeling it wasn't so. Underneath it all, if he was a honest man, he might perhaps admit... the shame that weighted on his shoulders...the pinch of regret in his chest...but he wasn't an honest man, now was he?
He had always known. He had chosen that path for a reason.
'Don't ever get too attached...Derek. You give up...your power. It makes you...weak. ' His mother had once told him through drunken slurs as she roughly wiped his tears away, the dead bird falling off his little hands.
Why the fuck am I remembering that now?
His life...living through his parents' divorce made him rip apart with his own hands any and all illusions he had of love. His parents' story was not his own, but he let go of every secret ideal and dream he'd held in his heart when he was still too young. For years, he'd followed his mother's resolve. Love did not exist, it was all an illusion pathetic people invented to feel better about their pathetic little lives. Biology, chemistry- she'd said, that's all there was to it.
He did not need this…this weird thing idiots claimed to feel when they got too attached. That only brought hell. Big hell. And he'd be damned if he ever let that happen to him. His mother had taught him well, hadn't she?
"Derek?" Emily tried to get his attention to no avail, still unable to not stare at the scratches in his arms.
Love doesn't exist, Venturi, he reminded himself. This is just a phase. You're just infatuated with her. Because she's forbidden and all that shit. This'll pass...
He could go back to his former, trouble-free life…his Casey-free life. The place where he knew what to say and what to do. His field of expertise. He contemplated some options. The feminine faces appeared and faded…he knew his way with those girls, he could almost read their minds. Casey McDonald? She was definitively from another planet. As easy as it was for him to read her, she often did 180s on him. Frustration couldn't even begin to describe what he felt when she managed to trick him, when the game of cat and mouse they both knew so well was in her favor.
Love does not exist, Derek Venturi.
These girls would make him feel at ease, back on routine, (what Derek wants, Derek gets). But that was just it, it was just so easy. He wanted a girl? He had her...it wasn't hard, or… challenging. That was the word he was looking for.
Challenge. The word brought a small smirk to his face. He loved challenges a little too much, and he knew that. He loved the satisfaction of being challenged and...winning. He loved mysteries and their underlying secrets. He was stubborn to keep trying until he achieved what he wanted, he rather liked to call it 'determination'.
...Challenge could very well be Casey's middle name. An involuntary, bigger smirk appeared on his face. The images of the giggling girls came to an abrupt stop when a sudden image came to his mind. Casey's hair in disarray, her bright eyes glaring, huffing for some prank he'd caused.
De-rek! He heard her voice ripping his name in half, breaking the smirk off his face.The way her rosy lips moved as his name rolled on her tongue and escaped from within her was entrancing, the picture engrained in his mind. The picture was so vivid he wondered if he was actually seeing her. More illustrations began to make their parade in Derek's head as he closed his eyes instinctively, completely forgetting Emily's presence. Just how hard did he hit his head?
Love does not exist, Derek Venturi.
Derek…
Her voice haunted him. A memory he had forcefully suppressed for years came to him.
The day he first laid eyes on Casey McDonald.
...
It was ten-thirty of a Thursday morning. He had just gone out of a class he'd have no recollection after, annoyed already because he had to meet Nora McDonald's daughter that day and he could not wait to get it over with, he had more important things to do. He was putting his things in his locker and was about to shut it close when he saw a flicker of hair pass him by; a second glimpse made him quickly whip his head her way completely.
Her back was to him, but as she moved he began to get a better view of her. She suddenly stopped as she seemed to be speaking with someone whose face he couldn't see in the crowd. Her private school uniform made her stand out too much from everyone else, some people stared and others made teasing comments to her as they passed by. From his spot by his locker he checked her out... thoroughly.
..Who... is ...She?'
Black ballerina school shoes; tall white socks that covered her long legs and reached up to her knees; a high waisted, navy blue checkered skirt that began a couple of inches above her knees and hugged her waist nicely, accentuating her hips; a white shirt tucked inside the skirt flattering her modest bosom with a thin, navy blue tie, and an opened buttoned-down, navy blue sweater on top. Her long and straight, dark brown hair was lose over her shoulders and covered the side of the face that he could barely see.
Though the uniform seemed to conceal, her body screamed 'athletic' all over and he could not keep himself from staring.
Sure, his reputation propagandized him for chasing after anything that wore a skirt, after all he was only looking to have a good time. But don't get him wrong he did have a type that he secretly liked, one that he was not about to divulge to anyone, not if he wanted to keep appearances. And well, this girl, as far as he had seen, happened to embody just about everything that that type stood for, so of course he would be more than attentive to this new eye-candy.
Despite the popular belief that he only went out with bad party girls, he had always had a secret weakness for beautiful, modest girls...now, why in the world would Derek Venturi ever like that?
Well, because more likely than not, they were hard to get, which represented a challenge; if they were a challenge, then it was unending fun to try to chase after them, which kept him interested. Plus, the last factor, if she minded how she dressed, her concealed body represented an inciting mystery, one that he would be more than glad to unravel...that is if she obliged. But, no one of that caliber in that category had really interested him as much just yet.
He knew he was screwed in that department, which it is why he was so frustratedly attracted to it.
He began to wonder how it would feel like to hold her inviting frame; how his arms would circle her small waist easily, what her hair would smell like, would it feel like silk in his hands?... After seeing what he thought was Aphrodite's body, he was so desperate to see the goddess' face. Call him a dramatic, theatrics weren't too far from his talents after all.
He knew he was getting way ahead of himself, perhaps his imagination was embellishing things a little, but reason seemed to be out at the moment. Then again, reason and Derek were never the best of friends...
He heard some girls greeting him as they passed him by, not that he paid them any mind. Mesmerized by the sight of her, he had forgotten that he was not casually looking anymore, his eyes were swallowing her whole in the middle of the crowded hallway. Embarrassed and alarmed, Derek closed his locker, and moved from his spot in hopes to see her face without anyone's scrutiny. Hiding under the stairs by the hallway, he had a perfect view.
He got lost on the entirety of her.
Her eyes were a piercing blue, accentuated by her long, dark lashes and angled brows. Her gaze shifted around her, as if she were looking for someone.Her face was pale but her cheeks were a deep pink, embarrassment caused by a comment from a snickering passerby. He imagined the skin of her face as smooth as porcelain under his fingers, warm in the heat of her distress. She was speaking with somebody; his attention was too focused on her to hear the conversation and found himself wishing she would speak louder so he could hear her voice better. Her rosy lips moved about and he stared at them, wondering what it would feel like to taste them. Suddenly, she frowned. She seemed annoyed, or distressed.
'Who the hell is bothering her?'
He reluctantly dragged his eyes to the person in front of her to show none other than…his dad's girlfriend...Nora McDonald.
He felt as if a burning, hard slap on the face was waking him up from a dream. Any enchanted thoughts he might have had of her rapidly crumbled to the ground as he realized with horror that the girl he was building fantasies about was none other than the person he was supposed to meet that day.
Casey McDonald. Nora's daughter. His dad's girlfriend's daughter. The daughter of the woman his father was contemplating a formal future with...that girl was his possible, future, dreaded…Step.. No!
Uttering a string of profanities he rubbed his face as if to shake sleep and frustration off. Of course this type of shit would happen to him, wasn't he used to this already? If he hadn't realized that crucial information on time, he knew he would have waltzed his way over as soon as the girl was alone and try every and all of his tactics, if necessary, to convince her to go out with him. He felt nausea starting to mess with his stomach. Scared out of his wits, he tried to listen to them.
"- because he's meeting you here at eleven. Look Casey, please, do this for me." He heard Nora pleading with her. Casey sighed heavily.
"Alright, fine." Casey let out a soft smile for her mother. He could not help but stare at the subtle dimples that appeared on her cheeks. Too frustrated and yes, scared to even try to meet her with a clear head, he immediately took out his cellphone and dialed a number.
"Hey... Ralph, want to earn twenty bucks?"….
...
He had decided he had to do everything possible to keep that girl away from him. He would not be able to live under the same roof with her if he thought of her like this. Hell, he would go insane. If her keener attitude had not thrown him off, he was afraid he would have liked her way too much from the start. Using that as a way to escape, he made a vow to make her ugly side come out, every person had one.
He would not want her. Not if he could do something about it. Making her life miserable was the key, the exit from his eminent purgatory. He would make sure of it. If she hated him, all the better.
Casey McDonald would not enchant him again.
'Love doesn't exist Derek…'
As soon as it came, the memory left him. More flashes of memories began to appear as he sat there silent on the floor with his eyes closed, holding his head in his hands and completely forgetting that Emily was sitting not too far from him feeling a mountain size of awkwardness and worry, but trying to respect his space none the less.
Was he ok? She decided that perhaps preparing some tea while he zoned out was a good idea and left for the kitchen, Derek never noticed of course. He took in the full detail of the pictures his brain was providing.
Derek...
An image of Casey laughing at one of his good jokes made its way to his mind. Her laughter, echoing like a song of bells in his head. Another suppressed memory resurged.
Standing behind his father, Derek could see Casey across from him, standing behind her mother on the altar, clad in a pale pink halter dress and little white daisies on her hair as his father and her mother said their vows happily; her face, wearing a mask of joy while showing him discreetly, her complete opposition. He remembered how hard it was for him to maintain his composure and not trash the wedding; the idea that the beautiful girl he once saw in the school hallway would now be officially his step-sister and would soon live under the same roof was too unbearable, too wild, too bizarre to accept. Derek shivered and shook his head as if to get rid of the memory.
Derek…
Her eyes, bright sapphires that got amazed at the unlikeliest of things. Her graceful dance moves. He was meticulously conscious of her toned and glistening body as she twirled around in the living-room. Her messy hair and sleepy expression every morning. Some glimpses of the klutz tripping on things and biting back foul words.
Things he had bowed to forget for his sanity's sake seemed to betray him mercilessly and came back to haunt him.
He remembered the one time he walked into the kitchen only to see an oblivious Casey in the laundry room, trying to remove a huge, dark stain from the t-shirt she was wearing. Before he was able to go and tease her about it- thinking she was alone, Casey took off her t-shirt exposing a black bra over her fair skin and shoved it into the washer machine, which was in the middle of the washing cycle.
Too shocked to move, Derek was rooted on the spot, his eyes wide and unwavering. Too late to realize she did not bring an extra shirt to cover herself, she rapidly opened the drier machine hoping to find something, it was all Derek's things. Annoyed but seeing no alternative, she took the first thing she touched, one of his hockey jerseys.
She frowned and searched through for other clothes, no such luck. It was all his gear.
Finally reacting, he quickly ducked under the kitchen counter when she looked around in panic. Seeing his clothes as better than walking around half-naked, she put on Derek's jersey, which reached mid-thigh, a little below her jean shorts, giving him the illusion that she wore nothing under his jersey...'Shit'.
His heart was hammering in his chest and he finally understood the slight meaning of the word hyperventilating. She looked around one more time before she ran out of the laundry room into the back corridor and up the stairs, hoping no one had seen her, especially the owner of the jersey. He remained in the kitchen floor for a long time, mute and still in shock.
Why the hell did he have to walk in at exactly that time? Why did he leave his clothes in the drier machine?
Why couldn't they be Nora's or Lizzie's clothes? Why couldn't he be more organized and take them out exactly when they were done drying two hours prior? Why the hell couldn't they have canceled the hockey game he was watching that prevented him from caring enough to take them out?
Just why in the fuck couldn't he have hung out with Sam instead of staying home that day?!
The tormenting questionnaire was endless as he ran upstairs for a cold shower.
Not until the next day did he find the jersey neatly folded in his closet. Some weird urge possessed him and he smelled the jersey, finding a faint sweet scent that definitively did not belong to him. 'Did she wear it all day, or what?' The memory of her wearing the jersey was unbearable. He could not bring himself to wear it again, afraid the smell of her skin would leave, or worse, suffocate him into madness. He knew he was being weird and absurd but he bought a new one. That single, seemingly insignificant event haunted him for weeks and he was not able to look at her in the eyes for a long while. Staying out more, bringing more girls over, and being more of an asshole to her did the trick of keeping her and the madness away…
Love doesn't exist…
Casey playing Babe-rider, her hands gripping the controller, a silly grin adorning her face. Casey hugging Marti, her hands tenderly caressing her head as Marti smiled. An image of her sitting in an empty classroom, reading a book during lunch hour. The sound of her voice, always singing in the shower or in her room, infiltrating into his room.
An image of her face as she fell asleep watching TV next to him; a latter showing the couch's pattern marks on the entire left side of her face, her hair disarrayed and tangled, as she woke from what seemed the best sleep she's ever had, lazy grin and all.
Her teeth slowly biting her lower lip in concentration during the calculus exam; he now considered revealing the fact that he was staring at her and not his own test…no wonder he failed that one. Casey yelling at Derek's "bully" on his defense while her finger poked his chest accusingly.Her protective and caring feelings towards him confused, annoyed, warmed, comforted, and frustrated him all at the same time.
'Why the hell does she do all of these things? What am I to her?'
Derek…
A tear, slowly streaming down her face and drowning in the corner of her lips, when her dad would not stay to spend time with her. A similar sting at knowing how she felt. The muffled sounds of her quiet sobs at dawn that would infiltrate into his room and into his mind through the wall's vent. Things that would keep him awake all night. Being able to see right through her became a double edged sword as he was able to witness the sadness she tried to hide from everyone. He could see the lonely girl that buried herself in work and books. He saw the girl that tried to chase perfection with broken legs... Just who's approval was she trying to get? He was just as broken, if not more... but he knew there was no one left to impress..
'Derek…' A weight settled on his chest.
This isn't real…Just fucking stop. He fisted his hands over his eyes.
The memory of the recent events plagued him. He let out the breath he didn't know he was holding
Derek...
"…Derek? Hellooo…?" Somehow that did not sound right, the pitch and texture were odd...
Emily waved her hands in front of his face.
"Derek Venturi!" Emily screamed, totally bewildered. ...that was definitively not Casey's voice anymore.
He snapped his eyes open, embarrassed to no end as his sight landed on Emily. He looked at her freaked eyes before he looked away again, she was now seating next to him again. He noticed two cups of tea on the floor...Just how long was he out of it? Before she could say anything he blurted out what had been stuck in his throat, fighting to get out.
"I...I like…" Derek broke the awkward silence, startling Emily a little. He still refused to make eye contact.
"What?"
"I-I like...her."
"Who?" Emily searched his eyes.
"Ca-" His breath got caught in his throat, he was nervous as fuck. He cleared his throat. "Casey."
"I mean, sure you guys actually kind of do get along-"
"No." His firm tone made her silent. He then looked straight at her.
"I like her." His dark gaze looked at her firmly, his honesty silencing the chuckles that threatened to come out of Emily. Emily's eyes began to widen slowly in understanding.
"-Actually, I'm fucking terrified...that it might be more than that." His hands were strained as if anxiousness had overtaken them before he ran then through his messy, muddy hair.
"I feel like I'm going insane here, Emily…I can't get her out of my head!" A few moments passed by before Emily could say something.
"…Oh."
He didn't like how calm her response was, as if he had just told her that it was forty-three degrees outside. He decided to chance a look at her and waited for a bigger reaction.
"Oh?" He prompted, in disbelief.
"Well…" One corner of her mouth began to lift slowly. Derek looked at her anxiously looking for a more elaborated response, as her hint of a smirk was starting to bother him.
"Well, that's great!" She couldn't hide the smile that seemed to mock him.
"What?!" Derek wasn't sure if he heard right. Emily was now chuckling to herself as she shook her head a couple of times. Nothing was making sense to him anymore.
"What the hell? Why in the world are you giggling? I just told you I'm a sicko who thinks about his step-sister, and not in a brotherly way, I might add. Doesn't that freak you out? Because it certainly freaks me out..."
Emily couldn't help but laugh out loud as Derek's brow furrowed more and more. She eventually stopped and Derek was visibly more pissed than ever. "You done?"
She sent him an apologetic look while still biting back a smile.
"No, Derek. It doesn't freak me out in the least." Derek stared at her in disbelief.
"It's actually a little funny." Derek frowned as he was stepping over new levels of irritation.
"Well then, explain to me what's so fucking hilarious 'cause I don't see it, Emily." She was slightly intimidated by this Derek, he never usually showed much of how he felt, it was kind of bizarre to see him showing and saying so much about himself.
"It's great that you finally realized it. I mean, it only took you so long…"
Derek blinked a couple of times.
"…Excuse me?"
"Derek, I'm sorry, but you're not as poker-face as you think you are. At least not about this." She said the last words carefully as she realized his eyes were starting to panic. Derek forgot how to act normal as her words felt like heavy cinder blocks to the chest.
"…wh-again, what..?"
Emily allowed a few giggles to escape her lips before she began to look a bit uncomfortable, something that made Derek feel oddly at ease since that gave him a more normal reaction, except that once he heard her reasons any sense of ease abandoned him.
"…Derek I know this is super awkward and I don't even know why in the world I'm telling you this but, remember how I used to have a massive crush on you, a few years back? Emphasis on the past tense?" She made sure he understood it was a closed case.
Derek nodded, uncomfortable.
"Well… I'm a very observant person by nature and you were someone I… studied in a regular basis…as weird as that sounds. 'Cause of that I was sort of able to tell something was up with you. You had never acted like this before so, of course I noticed."
"Acted like what?" Derek forced himself to listen, knowing there was no going back.
"...You really wanna know?" She asked him point blank, her eyes slightly apprehensive. Derek nodded, the possibilities were eating at him. Emily took a deep breath before continuing.
"Well, you've been kind of obvious lately. When you look at her, you sort of stare for a longer than is er, polite. I've stumbled upon you staring at her several times..." Derek began to feel sick to his stomach.
"You get all weird when she arrives, it's kind of interesting. You have this look in your eyes I never see any other time and you waste no time in trying to mess with her somehow. When you speak with her you always stand close enough to have at least some form of contact. You have this thing you do anytime she touches you…"
Emily paused to look at him. His eyes were wide open, his mouth slightly ajar, his skin paler than normal. She decided it was better to stop. She cleared her throat. "...Yeah just to name a few things…"
"What the hell is it? Finish what you were saying!"
"I think I've said enough Derek, I'm sorry..."
"Fuck...Say it!"
Emily sighed.
"It's not a big deal, really. It's just so unlike you is bizarre. Lately, whenever she touches you, as in grabbing your arm or touching your hand to call your attention, you look slightly startled for a second and then you step away from her, as if scared-"
"That's not unusual Emily, you know I don't like her touching me." Derek defended.
"Not like that you don't. You act as though if she touched you it would hurt." Derek remained silent, stunned.
"And then the most un-Derek-like factor of all," Emily continued, "You avoid eye contact until she leaves. While she talks to you, you joke around or get in her nerves but you don't look at her directly anymore. It's hilarious, and yet so weird. Assertive and confident Derek Venturi, nervous and avoiding direct eye contact...you'd think anyone would notice that.."
Derek forgot he could breathe; he wanted nothing but the earth to swallow him whole. Emily looked away a little embarrassed and let out a few nervous chuckles.
"Yep."
"…How long have I done that?"
"A little while. I'm afraid is not that hard to notice for those of us who'd be able to tell."
Derek muttered a line of profanities under his breath. No wonder Lizzie had noticed too! He bitterly thought that the only thing left in his list of fan-hitting shit scenarios was for Marti to come and ask Smerek why he stared at Casey so much. He buried his face in his hands, wanting to punch something.
"…gah, I can't believe this shit is happening to me!"
"Derek...all of this is actually… understandable." She ended with a more somber tone and a pitying glance his way.
"-the hell do you mean?" Derek muttered without taking his hands off his face.
"Well, think of it this way. You live with an attractive girl your age. She only became your step-sister 'cause your dad and her mom got married three years ago but she is not really related to you at all. I guess if you guys had grown up together all your lives then it would've been a different story; perhaps y'all would've seen each other as siblings. But you guys were two strangers, two older teenagers that were recently forced to live under the same roof. That's tough stuff, if you ask me. I'm amazed you guys weren't somehow involved earlier."
Derek took his hands away from his face slowly, and looked at her.
"If you think about it, what I just said makes complete sense, Derek." He seemed to contemplate on what she said for a while and Emily handed him his tea. They both drank in silence for some time.
"I never thought of it that way before. All of this time I thought I was the some kind of fucked up pervert." Derek said murmured.
"Nah, you're being a guy liking a girl. She's not your sister, there's no reason for you to feel bad for feeling that way about her." Derek felt her words relieving the heavy burden off his shoulders.
"But, I don't think you like her," She suddenly said. He frowned at this.
"But I just told you-"
"Sounds like, if not a massive crush...you might be in love with her." She finished looking straight in his eyes with a teasing smile. He was speechless as her words echoed in his head. He shook his head vehemently as he laughed humorlessly.
"No...that's impossible. I don't do that shit."
"Is that so?" She replied with mock skepticism.
"Well yeah, that stuff's for kids. We all know that doesn't really exist." He said this with a tone that Emily found hard to decipher.
"Derek, it's Love- not the easter bunny."
"Love IS a kid's tale." Derek looked away, repeating his mantra, shaking off an image of Casey sitting on the floor and holding her knees as she stared out the window in the middle of the night.
"I do... want her-" He said softly, still unnerved in having to say it out loud. "But I am not in love with her...I am not-" He repeated when he saw the arched brow she gave him. "Love isn't real. So I know. Okay?"
Emily thought for a moment and smirked before she turned to him.
"What do you think about your family?" Her out of subject question threw him off.
"What?"
"What do you feel for them?" He snorted.
"What are you now, Doctor Phil?" Derek chuckled wryly before he took another sip of his tea, finally relaxing for a moment. Emily gave him a somber look and Derek rolled his eyes.
"Meh, they're alright." Emily ignored his obvious tactics and went for a killer question.
"Okay, what do you feel for Marti?"
"Just what are you trying to get at?" He looked at her with narrowed eyes and a hint of a smile.
"Hate, pity, annoyance, reluctance, tolerance, sadness, love, what?" She ignored his inquiry. Derek rolled his eyes for the millionth time but replied at last.
"She's my little sister, of course I love her. Why-"
"Aha! You love your little sister." Emily gleamed at him. Derek laughed.
"You know what that means. It's different and you know it, Emily."
"Is it now? It may not be romantic, but you feel affection for your cute, little Marti. Is it some coincidence, some chemical mix, some funny mishap in the cells that made you feel affection for your family? Or is it that love could actually exist?"
"Uh..." He began to visualize his family. His goofy and loving father; his smart and smelly younger brother, and his cute and precocious little sister. Of course he loved them, not that he'd ever say it out loud. Then an image of Nora and Lizzie appeared. He let out a small smile, they had become important to him too. He had a small glimpse of his mother and something constricted in his chest before he pushed the thought away.
"Would you be willing to do anything for them?" Emily's words were soft. Derek smirked.
"Define 'willing', 'do', and 'anything'." Emily rolled her eyes and gave him a hard look.
"Derek, your act only works on an audience, work with me here. I'm serious." Derek let out a small laugh before complying.
"Alright, alright. I guess, sure."
"Why?"
"'Cause they're my fam." He spoke to her like a child, starting to get annoyed by the game.
"Would you say you're forced to do it?" She continued.
"Sometimes." He joked before relenting. "I'd do it because I felt like it...not that anyone would know."
"Exactly. You'd do anything, not because something weird in your DNA told you to, but because you want to. In other words, you actually care about them. In translation, you love them, Derek."
"...I guess?" He said, confused as to what she was trying to say overall. She thought a little before she spoke again.
"How would you feel if something were to happen to any of them? Like something really, really bad." Derek's features darkened so fast it almost scared her.
"What are you trying to get at Emily." He repeated.
"Let's say something terrible happened to Marti?" She dared to venture that way, trying hard to suppress her guilt as his expression became one of horror.
"What the fuck..." Derek stared at her in disbelief.
"Just answer me, please." She continued with her mission.
"Don't ever- Never say that again! It..." He breathed slowly and looked away, trying to make his anger and horror go away.
"It would kill me." He finally answered. Emily felt horrible for saying those things but she was happy her goal was being reached.
"Derek...all this you're feeling right now...you can't tell me that what you feel for your family doesn't exist. You proved that to me just now." She searched his eyes but he refused to look back. Derek thought about this deeply as Casey appeared on his mind again. Emily sipped some of her tea as he zoned out briefly, again. She smiled as he marveled at the idea.
"You may be onto something..." He muttered. Out of nowhere, however, he suddenly shook his head, still holding something within that Emily was never to know.
"But that still doesn't mean I love Casey. I like her a lot more than I should...I accept it, ok? but love? That's just not happening. It can't." He said stubbornly, ignoring the heat that made its way up to his neck as he remembered Casey's closeness, her hands gripping his shirt for fear of being dropped as he carried her to her room the night before.
"Based on what you've told me, this sounds like something more serious than a mere crush Derek, you're just in stupid denial. And the longer you take to realize this, the more you'll hurt Ca-...yourself." She backtracked nervously but visibly relaxed when he didn't seem to have heard her slip up.
"No, Emily. I am not-" He began, visibly irritated. Trying to ease the tension, she changed tactics and began theatrically. "Derek, who is the one person that distracts you all the time, the person you first think about when you wake up and the last when you go to sleep?"
"Uh-what are you doing?" The sudden lightness in her mood changed gears on him.
"Who is the one person you want to kiss and hold right now?" She pouted her lips and hugged herself comically. Derek raised an eye-brow, his irritation still visible.
"Well-"
"Who is the one person you daydream during class or work, and the one you dream about when you sleep?"
"I-"
"Who is it that makes you happy when they're happy, and uncomfortable or dissatisfied when they're sad?" She said dramatically, internally amusing herself at his visible discomfort.
"Would you stop that? Stop cutting me off. And what's with the theater show?" He said, exasperated.
"Well?"
He exhaled heavily. "You know the answer to that." He said looking away. Emily grinned from ear to ear briefly before assuming a serious look once he looked back.
"Does seeing her happy make you happy?"
"Ugh, how fucking cheesy can you get, Emily?"
"Answer the question, Venturi!" He groaned hating every minute of the conversation. He'd rather fall from that damned tree again if it meant sparing him from it.
"Sure, jeez!"
"How about when she's angry or upset?"
"It's... the best." He answered automatically with a grin. Emily gave him a knowing smirk that unnerved him again. Being transparent for once was the worst.
"Oh, you mean other than when I'm responsible for it?" He asked, forcing the smirk to stay in place. She smiled. "Sure."
"That's a hard one to answer, she does get upset by many things outside of my jurisdiction, you know that." He grinned at her. He did have a point, she thought. "I might want to beat the ass of the jackass who caused it."
"Ok, let's say that it is something worth getting upset over."
"Good, good." Derek rolled his eyes. "Now, let me ask you the most important question, would you be willing to do anything to see her happy?"
"Define 'willing' and 'do' and-" Derek began as habit but stopped once he saw Emily's dark gaze. He scratched his head and took a sip of his tea. "Maybe."
"Even if her happiness means...not being with you?" She said, serious. Derek looked down for a moment and was silent for a short while. The pain on his thorax, the stings on his arms and face reminded him that this conversation was actually happening.
"Y'know, maybe some time back I would've said 'No'. If she couldn't be mine then fuck it, why bother? I'd move on, no big deal...but, now...things might be a bit different." He admitted, much to his chagrin.
"I've had to suck it up with all the morons she's dated. I can't say I wasn't slightly glad when she went out with Sam though, because I know he's a good guy and she'd be happy."
He remained silent for a moment before he continued.
"While her taste in guys sucks, at least... I know they can give her... what I can't." He finished with a darker tone.
At this Emily's brow furrowed 'what the heck does he mean?'
"I guess what I'm saying is...yes, I would, even if it means she'll end up with some preppy-douchey idiot...and not me." He said distantly before he looked back at Emily, who had heard the badly disguised pain in his voice.
She was stupefied. Derek always gave an arrogant and selfish vibe; his too famous of a determination to get what he wanted seemed to crumble in pieces before her eyes and she was having a hard time dealing with this completely alien side of him.
"...Wait a minute- what happened to all that 'what Derek wants, Derek gets' stuff Casey always complains about to me?" Emily wiggled her fingers at the infamous quote. A weak smirk came to his features and he looked past her into some imagined horizon.
"Let's just say that sometimes what Derek wants doesn't always want him back." He looked down at the mud on the floor. Glimpses of packed suitcases, red hair, and empty promises crossed his mind. "-That doesn't mean I have to be an asshole about it...all the time."
Emily was amazed. Never had she imagined Derek Venturi could display such a level of maturity.
"Venturi...I hate to spell it out for you but, in this planet, and in this century...that is called L-o-v-e. And man, have you got it bad." He grumbled wearily, reluctantly digesting her statement. An image of Casey smiling at him haunted his tormented mind.
"Derek, has this ever happened to you before?"
"No."
Emily simply gave a small smile, her conclusive gaze confirmed what the churning his stomach was trying to tell him.
"I can't be in love with her...I am not, I can't- that..."
Emily remained silent and sipped on her tea without breaking eye contact with him. He ran his hand through his hair until it rested at the back of his muddied neck.
"...I'm in.." love with her? he said it in his mind. Suddenly, his eyes went wide and he paled. Dread and ice filled his veins at the implications.
"Oh God.." He buried his face in his hands again. "Great, this is just great! Fucking peachy, really. I'm such an idiot!" He proceeded to bang his head on the white coffee table next to him, smearing the surface with mud.
"Oh come on, it's not that bad," She slapped his shoulder, trying to diminish the awkwardness, except it caused him to wince in pain.
"Oh! sorry, sorry!"
"You know, Emily, sometimes you can be a real pain in the ass. No wonder you're Casey's best friend."
"Sure, sure. But this pain in the ass is helping your ass isn't she? Now shut it."
He simply rolled his eyes, not feeling any better as the realization of what he felt was still overwhelming, yet, coming to terms with the truth made him oddly at ease. The mystery, the confusion, the struggle, the torment, the denial, it was all over.
"I remember I couldn't... take my eyes off of her the first day I saw her." He began, quietly. "I had nightmares on end because I found out she would soon be my step-sister."
Emily could only imagine his situation.
"Okay. Have you told her?" Emily looked hopeful at him, and when she saw his eyes look away, a frown appeared on her face.
"Oh no, Derek Venturi you haven't told her? ...Why?!"
"One…Because I wasn't sure yet how I felt about her, to be honest all of this is still freaky enough. And two, when I actually tried to tell her something about it today, sweet-sweet Marti interrupted us. I can never get an alone moment with her without something or the other fucking happening." His smile was dripping with frustration."But...now, I've decided I should... probably never tell her. " Emily groaned.
"What?...Are you freaking serious? Don't tell me you're afraid of telling her? You? Of all people!"
"I'm not scared. I'm just being careful. It could ruin absolutely everything." Everything I worked so hard to build.
Emily snorted. Was she hearing ok? Since when was Derek Venturi careful about anything? Reckless was practically his middle name. He realized the absurdity of his words but what angered him the most was that they were half-true. He frowned and looked away, a dark shade of red seemed to stay on his face, his amber eyes trying to hide from hers. His frustration took over and he finally snapped.
"I had decided to tell her what I thought I felt, because I had the small impression that she was acting weird, as if she actually kinda liked me too. But Emily, now that I really think about it, she could be liking me as as a good friend or as a...gah! as a brother!" He recoiled at the idea.
"But I had to be the moron who fucking fell for her! the girl I had worked so hard to hate, what a way to ruin everything! Why should I make things so excruciatingly awkward between us? Now that we only have one last semester together? If she really doesn't feel the same I would only make her uncomfortable and burdened about it, she would avoid me and look at me weird. And I would try to stay as far as possible too. But you can't really avoid someone you live with, can you?! Much less if your room is right next to hers! It would be the worst semester of my fucking life!" His fears were completely out in the open and Emily didn't know what to say. He sighed exasperated and mentally counted to ten as he massaged his temples, trying to calm down. Once he did, he spoke again with a softer tone.
"Besides, Casey doesn't want a guy like me, you know that. She wants a fancy prince...it's fine, really. College is coming soon and we'll be out of each other's hair for good. I'll get over it. Eventually. No need to make things worse than they already are."
Emily finally found her voice.
"Derek you have to tell her."
"Didn't you hear everything I just said? No!" He stubbornly gave a look of finality and looked away, trying to close the subject. She grumbled under her breath but gave it a shot and tried another approach. After a moment, she acted resigned and sighed in defeat.
"Oh well, it's ok. It's fine really. It's not worth it, right? Maybe Noel will know she's available. We can both agree that they'll eventually get together, have a bunch of nerdy kids, and live happily ever after. Just like you want." Derek shrugged his shoulders.
"Just like I want," he repeated. "For her to have her perfect, sensitive nerd and live the life she always read about in her stupid, girly books." Derek stated with a tight smile as he continued to act nonchalant about it though her words were slowly starting to irritate him. Her look suddenly changed to one of mischief and then to one of deep thought as soon as he looked at her.
"Oh well…but what about... our dear friend, Max?" She enunciated his name with enough emphasis and charm. The mere mention of that guy's name snapped Derek's act in two as he felt the tension overcome his shoulders, but he still refused to budge as he smiled once again.
"What about him?"
Emily acted as if she was genuinely thinking it over.
"Hmm, he likes her a lot too, y'know?" Derek's eye began to twitch slightly.
"Last I heard he really wanted her back, wonder how he's doing with that...every time I speak to him he's always 'Casey this,' or 'Casey that,' I mean, really..." Derek felt his blood boiling as he clenched his jaw. His lips were in a tight line, suppressing the urge to say a couple of things that would surely burn anyone's ears. Recalling that phone conversation he had with the football captain wasn't helping anything.
"Casey likes guys who play sports. And Max is not only a great player, I mean he is captain of the football team! what are the odds...he's also really good-looking, girls flock him all the time. Like you, he's been with plenty of them, so he must know how to show a girl a good time." Derek cleared his throat loudly.
"Emily? Your point?" Derek asked with as much nonchalance as he could muster, a tight smile over his features .
"And oh, did you know how cool and sweet that guy can be? He used to give Casey his team jacket all the time, gosh, everything Casey could want!" She ignored his question and kept going. Derek remembered Casey walking down the hallways wearing Max's jacket, it was nauseating.
"...Oh really? Are you forgetting how that tool turned her into a mindless Barbie and wanted her to be his own personal cheerleader?"
"I mean, that wasn't too bad, was it?...Casey was glad to change. Besides, he wanted her into his world because he really liked her. It was a good kind of change. She was, as you always called her, a geek, a keener, a klutz, an outsider to the social universe. He achieved to make her popular and fit in." Derek felt guilt overcome him as he distinctly remembered the times he called her those names. But he couldn't ignore her words.
"Woah-wait, you're saying you were okay with it? I thought you were her best friend...What the hell? So what she wanted didn't matter? Who she is didn't fucking matter? He'd turned her into a completely different person! She's never irritated me more in all the time of knowing her, and that's saying something." His anger was reaching its peak.
"Relax, all I'm saying is that he could also be her prince charming!"
"So be it! I don't give a shit anymore!" Derek yelled with a forced grin on his face.
"Oh well, Casey likes confidence in a guy." Emily ignored his quip. "Max is a very, very confident guy, y'know?...since you already backed out 'cause you're afraid and all... I guess he will have more guts than you to tell her what he feels...I mean he really wants her, I'm sure he'll do something about it."
Oh, that did it. Derek's hands went into fists as he stood abruptly, despite the pain. "I'm not afraid of anything! And if that dick so much as tries to touch one of her hairs I swear -"
"I'm sorry, you'll what?" Emily raised an eyebrow and smirked, clearly making him understand just how much he had just showed.
Emily you clever, little-
"Wow, I've never seen your inner Hulk before. Not the psycho-jealous one, anyway."
"Oh, Shut up. You're seriously telling me you would be ok with Casey going back to him?!" Derek asked her sternly.
"Would you?!" She countered as she stood up to face him, all humor gone. "Would you seriously be okay with her going back to Max? You, who seems to know her best, and who apparently loves her the way she is, would be ok with her being in the care of some asshole who doesn't know half of what he has?"
Derek stared at her.
"I..."
"Would you really, Derek?" She repeated.
"...No."
"Okay, genius, if you don't do anything about it she could end up right back with him, or with someone worse!" She said exasperated.
"But-"
"Do something! If you don't, you won't have the right to complain later, mister, because by backing out then every other guy should have their chance! And you'd have to suck it up aaalll the way dearie, even if she does end up with your beloved MAX!" Emily screamed in his face, finally fed up with the whole ordeal.
"Alright, alright! I fucking get it! I'll tell her! Damn!" He yelled as he stepped out of her range.
"Ugh! Finally!" Emily collapsed on her couch, more exhausted than she ever thought possible. "Man, you're a real piece of work, Venturi, how in the world Casey manages to live with you and not go crazy is beyond me!"
He glared at her as he sat on the floor once again, she grinned back. Emily finally sat up and faced him.
"Derek, be honest, have you done any progress with this at all?" Derek scratched the back of his neck as he smiled nervously.
"I uh... almost.. kissed her, twice." Emily's eyes went wide like plates, Derek got alarmed and said the rest of the sentences too fast. "-but that only made things awkward between us, we had never gotten so strange with each other, which is why I didn't think it was a good idea to tell he-"
"You what?! Wait, you said 'almost,' why is there an 'almost' in your sentence? Why?!"
"I just…didn't go through with it.."
"You didn't…go through...with it. What in the freaking world do you mean?"
"…I ended up not kissing her?"
"...Wait, just how obvious were you?" Emily's eyes couldn't be wider.
"W-what do you mean?"
Emily began to stand up menacing, her brown eyes seemed to get darker.
"…Was she aware of it? As in, you were going to sneak up and kiss her, or you were very obvious you were about to plant one on her?"
"…I grabbed her face and y'know, leaned in..." Derek shrugged his shoulders.
"Oh...and what did she do?!"
"…She didn't do anything but," Derek's eyes went wide.. "she didn't walk away..."
Emily let out an exasperated breath as she wanted nothing but to rip Derek's hair out of his scalp. Of course she knew about Casey's feelings, she was her best friend after all. Emily was a bit hurt Casey had not trusted her with it just yet, but given the circumstances and Casey's knowledge of Emily's past crush on Derek, she guessed it was understandable and acceptable. When she was ready, she would tell Emily, and she understood that.
"…..And you say you didn't go through with it, Derek Venturi!"
Derek looked at Emily a little scared as he looked at her hands, positioned as if ready to strangle him at any moment.
"So you leaned in and then, suddenly... walked away? Are you crazy? That's horrible! You're telling me that you pretty much teased her, then left her hanging? Her thinking of you as a jerk is a given but now she's going to think you're playing with her, you jackass!"
Derek just went back to smacking his face on his hands, understanding just how dumb it all was and cursed under his breath. Emily started sternly.
"…Why didn't you?"
He remained silent. Emily sighed as she calmed down and sat down again, repeating her question softly and patiently.
"Derek, why didn't you?"
His voice came out just as soft.
"...I thought she was too good …to ever be mine."
Emily's heart was gripped as she could feel the sadness in his voice, she scooted closer to him again and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"As much as I would like to slap you right now, I understand," Emily crossed her arms "but shouldn't she decide that for herself? Why are you deciding for her, idiot?"
Derek turned his head to look at her.
"You are deciding this all by yourself without giving her any say. That's not fair to anyone. Derek please, you have to tell her how you feel."
He looked away, reminiscing back to the moment in which he pulled Casey close before exiting the bathroom through the window and whispering in her ear 'this conversation isn't over'. The feeling of her warm skin under his hold was unforgettable.
"Derek, If I was you, I would do something about it before someone else, could steal the chance from me."
He simply narrowed his eyes at her, the irritation lingering in him as her words wouldn't leave him. 'Are Emily and Lizzie working together or something?' He finally nodded.
"And, Derek?"
"Hmm?.."
"Next time you try to kiss her, please promise me you'll actually do it, idiot!"
She smacked him upside the head.
-x-
"…Derek?" Casey poked Derek's arm to see if he would wake up from whatever had him lost in thought. Derek had been sitting on the couch staring off into space as he had been lost in thought for what seemed ages.
"Der…De-rek!" That worked.
"Huh?"
"Gosh…what's wrong with you today? Are you sure you didn't hit your head when you fell?" She looked genuinely concerned. Derek snapped back to the present. "This seems to happen often lately. You space out of nowhere and for a long time."
"Hold on, what?" Derek looked up at her, bewildered. Casey sighed and decided to let it go.
"Forget it, weirdo. You were with Em a while ago, do you know if she stayed home? She's not picking up her cellphone."
'Hmm Derek...hate to spell it out for you but, in this planet...that is called L-o-v-e. And man, have you got it bad..'
"E-Emily?"
'Derek please, you have to tell her how you feel.'
"Yeah, Emily. Are you even listening?"
'Next time you try to kiss her, please promise me you'll actually do it…idiot'
He stood up from the couch and distanced himself from her. his eyes looked away as he felt a that infuriating warmth spread through his chest and the crimson shade plastered across his face. He began to feel nervous, self-conscious; these things were completely and meticulously noticed by Casey. His eyes wandered around aimlessly as he started shifting on his feet restlessly and breathing a little heavier than usual. Casey was baffled for a moment. Did something happen while he was with Emily?
"Um, Derek? Are you ok?" Derek turned to look at her in surprise and terror.
"Huh? yeah! Why? What makes you think I'm not ok?" Wow, the lord of the lies flew out the window. If Derek could look any more red, Casey was afraid he would explode.
"Um…" Casey was not sure how to point out the obvious.
Derek sighed exasperated and turned away from her, rubbing the back of his neck. Casey then felt as if her heart was being ripped out. She wanted to ask him, she wanted to know, but she just didn't know how to speak at the moment. She had never seen Derek act like that in her life, and thinking that Emily might be the reason for it all made her want to cry. She fidgeted around a bit and played with some ends of her hair to distract herself a little from the green-eyed monster she felt creeping under her skin.
"W-why did you go to Emily's house?"
"I... needed to discuss something with her."
"…Can I ask what?" Derek hesitated.
"No."
Casey flinched slightly but Derek could not see her.
"…Why?"
"I don't want to talk about it, right now." Derek said a bit tense, not meaning to sound as harsh as it sounded to Casey. She knew he needed some space, for whatever reason, but she could not help herself. She ignored the knot that wanted to form in her throat stepped in front of him hoping he would face her.
"You don't want to talk about it, or you simply don't want to tell me, specifically?" Casey didn't mean to give into her emotions but she couldn't control them anymore. Her gaze was becoming glassy as her brows furrowed.
Derek looked sideways, avoiding her eyes. He thought about the timing, the place, and the nosy children upstairs. Perfect to confess it all to her? No fucking way. But how could he get Casey off his back for the time being? Her eyes were beginning to break him. Too fast, he decided to choose the least intelligent answer, without much thought about the consequences.
"I simply don't want to tell you…especially you." He unconsciously added with slight fear. Casey's eyes went wide. Normally she would not care, this didn't need to be a big deal, but the way he said it, the way he had just uttered that sentence made her insides cringe.
"W-what do you mean?"
Her meticulous scrutiny was unnerving and desperate to get away from her piercing gaze, he took on his role, a little too much. Too tense, to even consider the alarming cons of his decision.
"What are you? My mother? I don't want to tell you what happened, in fact, it's none of your business. I don't need to tell you everything I do, what I say and to whom!"
Casey's jaw dropped slightly as she couldn't believe what she had just heard. The look on her face made him want to take it all back, but it was too late, the damage had been done.
"Now, if you'll get off my back about this, we were on our way to get the TV…though it is fine if you decided to stay…seeing as you look all mad at me and stuff now…" His voice was beginning to break, just what in the fuck did you do Venturi?!
If looks could kill, Derek would have been long dead and buried. The crimson on her face matched his, except hers was all caused by outrage and humiliation. But if he thought he would win and she would stay home all frustrated, he was oh, so very wrong.
He was ready for the upcoming yelling and lecturing he was used to, but to his utter shock, she breathed slowly, looked down briefly and then adopted a blank look, so empty it scared him. Horrified, he knew what this was. It couldn't be...
This was Casey's maximum level of anger, the one reserved for very, very rare occasions, since it went against her explosive nature completely.
The one where she completely swallowed her emotions, controlled her face, and decided she was done with the situation.
She ignored the all-consuming urge to scream in his face, to reminisce in their past...No more arguing, she was done with Derek Venturi.
"I am going, whether you like it or not. I'll go see Emily and ask her personally." She attempted to leave but Derek had not moved from his place, blocking her exit, regretting what he had just done.
"Move." Casey said in the most normal way she could manage, but it sounded cold and empty. Derek cringed.
"Casey, I-"
"Now."
Since he was frozen on the spot Casey pushed pass him and left him alone to contemplate on the monumental stupidity of his actions. Couldn't he have just said 'Not now, I'll tell you later?' Seriously.
"Gahhh…" Derek ran his hands over his hair and he began kicking the couch with force before the jolt made his side ache and that made him curse aloud.
Upstairs, three kids were smacking their foreheads against the wall.
Would this ever end?
Hope you liked this chapter, I worked too many days on it lol. At a request from a reviewer we finally get to see what happened with Derek and Emily's conversation. I decided to get into Derek's head a little hehe.
I don't know about you, but Emily is my hero in this chapter! I had tons of fun writing her lines.
I know this is not much happening as much as a flashback but there's an important element in this chapter that will have great influence in the next chapters. About the flashback to his first meeting with Casey, I made sure to describe her as we first meet her in the show, because frankly, the dorky blonde, bangs, braces version of that day in "How I met your Stepbrother" didn't fit at all with the original version, it sucked in my opinion. But that's just me haha.
Tell me your thoughts on this chapter! Questions, concerns, critiques, favorite moments, hated moments, ANYTHING; It helps, really. Also if you come across a funky and badly spelled word, tell me, for English is not my first language xD
Please be specific and write to your heart's content!
Your support encourages me to keep up with this story!
Much Love,
~Amorekristall