Disclaimer: Don't own TT

"Speech"

Thoughts

Beast Boy and Raven Part III

They hadn't told the others yet. Well, more like Beast Boy hadn't told anyone, since he knew that Raven wouldn't have wanted him to and she would have never told anyone herself. And if anyone noticed that she was being a bit nicer to him than she normally was, they kept it to themselves.

But it was weird because sometimes she would quietly come sit next to him and play a video game with him (and beat him at it, whereupon Cyborg would tell him that he was just bad), or attempt to cook him some tofu dish which turned out okay, not as good as he made it, but not as bad as her waffles had been, and he was grateful for the effort anyway. And best of all she would let him sit by her while she was reading or out at shore, looking at the sea, though she still didn't like it when he disturbed her meditation.

Then again, he had the tact not to do something like that so all was well.

And for his part, the pranks on Raven, the annoying jokes, trying to get her to play stankball or participate in any of his stuff that he knew she might not like, all of it stopped. Completely. Because he was trying to be considerate of her feelings for once, and what a miraculous change it was in both of their lives. No more fighting. Irritation, or frustration - at least not from their stupid arguments that they once had. In a way, life was better because of it, though beside that, nothing had really changed. But that one thing, their friendship, which had grown over the years, was enough to make life wonderful. If nothing else, it made life worth living.

Just friends.

Just friends?

Or something more.

That was always a question in the back of both of their minds. For Raven and for Beast Boy, true friendship was something very hard to come by. For Raven, it should have been obvious why. And Beast Boy? He found it hard to show his true self to other people, not always happy-go-lucky as he seemed to be, much more sensitive than he let on, more hurt, scarred by his suffering in the past, and by the fact that he was different... not many people could understand and he didn't expect them to. Those precious few that did, Raven in particular, he held close to him. Good friends.

So then it was dangerous to go further than that and say that they were more than friends because if they went further and it didn't work out, it would ruin their friendship and make things awkward. And neither of them wanted that to happen.

"So, just friends?"

"I don't know."

It was something both of them asked and both of them replied the same way each time. Because how were you supposed to know when it was okay to go past that line and say, yes, you're not just someone I like?

"But you're not just someone I like," Beast Boy had said.

And Raven had sighed. She had thought about it for a long time, but there was no good way to express her thoughts so she said the only thing she could. "I know."

"I don't want to push it either. You understand?"

"Of course. You are... special to me," she said with difficulty, the words escaping from her mouth slowly. Not used to any sign of affection, that was part of it, but also how much more she meant than just that. And how much more she couldn't let herself feel because what if it really didn't work out between them?

A whole bunch of what ifs.

"But we don't know until we try either," she had said, more to herself than him.

"It would almost seem like we're forcing it," he had said, and she had looked at him in surprise. He had reservations about them as well.

"Then we can just be friends."

"I guess so."

But then they would always stare at each other awkwardly, and know that it wasn't going to be that way forever. It would eventually escalate to a point where they couldn't just be friends, and they would either be together or be doomed to crash and burn. They both knew it. But until that time came, they would simply cherish the time they had together.

It came upon them more quickly than either of them expected. When she sensed that his feelings had reached a boiling point, and she could barely contain hers any longer.

It started slowly, at first, when Beast Boy had been unable to concentrate on his video games when Raven walked into the room, or when Raven had been unable to meditate effectively because, well, she just couldn't. And then it got worse, when Beast Boy couldn't focus on anything at all while Raven was around, and the violet haired girl would get distracted from her reading because he was staring at her, and she couldn't help but stare back and not tell him to go away because he was distracting her, because she actually didn't mind.

And whenever the Titans were called to fight crime they always watched each other and made sure the other person was not hurt (which they did for all of their friends, but especially for each other), and the looks of worry they gave each other might have been missed by the other Titans, but not by each other, and even for the most minor wounds, they acted like the other person was in a life threatening condition because well, they worried about each other just that much.

And of course they would always mutter back a quiet "I'm okay," but it was not like that stopped the other person from worrying.

In the end, Beast Boy brought it up first while they managed to find some time alone on the shore, looking out over the bay at the sunset. He had found her, sitting alone, hood up, as usual, staring at the waves. She gave no indication that she noticed him approaching, but she didn't seem surprised as he sat next to her - he supposed she had sensed him, it was one of her powers to be able to sense everything in her vicinity.

Normally, she would have ignored him and continued looking at the sea, but this time, she turned toward him and lowered her hood, gazing into his eyes. A wordless expression of almost mourning. They simply watched each other as the sun dipped lower and lower, until he finally spoke.

"This is unbearable."

She knew what he was talking about and nodded.

"Then-"

"Still have my doubts-"

"Of course, but-"

"I can't stand it-"

"Maybe we can give it a shot-"

"I'm afraid-"

"So am I."

They spoke in unison, sentences flowing smoothly between them. As if they were not two people at all, but a pair. A collective entity.

"Are you willing to give me a chance?"

"Always. I'm just-"

"I understand. So am I."

Raven tended to doubt herself a lot, and it was something Beast Boy knew well. She was the type to pull out that whole "it's not you it's me" statement, but in her case she would have definitely believed it to be true. Everything that went wrong, to an extent, was her fault because she could not be better.

So he was all the more determined to make it work out, if it happened to begin with.

"Are you happy with this?"

"No." She paused. "Not yet."

"Do you think-"

"Being happy doesn't come easily. And isn't something I'd cherish either."

"Then what do you want-"

"To be content. Someone to share everything miserable with."

"That doesn't sound very-"

"But you understand."

He nodded. Some people, like Raven, were almost never happy and would never be happy, except for very rare moments, and they really were moments. A flash of happiness, then it was gone. She might be relieved though, or at peace, or relaxed, or maybe just not as miserable and self doubting, and maybe he could help her with that. And of course he understood that "sharing her misery" didn't alleviate the misery itself but it made her feel less alone. She still would try to fight it by herself, of course, but if she needed it, he was to be her safety net. Something for her to fall back on so that she didn't crash alone. And she would be the same for him.

A weird relationship, but one that he could handle because they needed each other. So...

"Happy or not happy, it has to be done."

"Nothing ever has to be done," she replied softly. "But then I feel like I'd kill myself."

He looked at her, appalled. "Don't say that."

She pulled up the sleeve of her leotard, revealing many scars on her pale grey skin. She turned her arms upward, revealing more on her wrists. He closed his eyes, pained with the sight of them, like each one was a cut on him as well.

"Surprised?" She asked quietly.

He couldn't say that he was. "Why?"

"I don't know."

A classic Raven response, meaning, it's hard to explain and very complicated so you'll have to guess. But this time, he didn't have to ask her to explain. After a moment, she continued speaking.

"Feeling worthless. A demon, only good for destroying things, being evil, being angry, making other peoples' lives horrible. Like yours."

"You didn't-"

"I'm over it now. I've accepted that I'm part demon. But also when my father was coming. I thought about everything, every way out. None of them worked. So I tried to kill myself."

His eyes widened because he knew that she very well might have gone through with it. In fact, now that he thought about it, she probably would have gone through with it. Why hadn't she?

"Because it wouldn't have stopped anything. Not going to go into details of the inner workings of portals, but if I died, the portal would have still opened. The energy wouldn't have disappeared. So I decided to stay and see if I could do anything to stop him. To atone for my-"

"You're not a sinner. Or a coward. You're the bravest, most caring person I know."

"Been said so many times-"

"It's true-"

"Not very romantic though."

He shrugged. "Then what is romantic?"

She turned away. "Being able to sit silently with someone and understand each other without saying anything."

"We've already done that."

Raven paused and thought carefully for a moment. "Yes. We have."

"So what does that mean-"

"It means... it means..." her voice trailed off into a whisper. "I need you. We have to be together."

He wasn't going to protest if it was coming from her.

"Okay. We're together."

Didn't really make much of a difference, now that he thought about it. The statement that they were "together" or not "together." It actually hadn't changed anything at all.

"Well, it means we can do more stuff 'together'," Raven countered his thoughts. "Like go out, like a couple. And it would be okay, since we're together now."

"You're okay with that? Being seen in public alone with me? Like, you're okay with the others knowing we're dating?"

"I wouldn't just call it dating-"

"Used it for lack of a better word-"

"Well, thank you for trying to be considerate."

"I mean, I'm not going to complain if that's what you want-"

"Don't your feelings matter at all?" She retorted. "What do you want?"

"Whatever you want."

"Beast Boy-"

"I just want us to be comfortable together."

"But you have needs too-"

"We're not going to be together every second of every day. My needs can be taken care of by hanging out with my other friends. But you avoid everyone else and do everything by yourself, so while we're together, we'll be taking care of your needs."

"But-"

"Stop being so selfless, Raven. Think about yourself for once."

"But-"

"Raven-"

"Ugh. Whatever. We don't need to actually come out and say we're dating or anything. If we're discreet enough, nobody except Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg will notice."

"Fine with me. Fine with you?"

"Well, I'd rather they not know, but it can't be helped. We just don't have to make a huge scene in public and go around making out or anything, and nobody will notice we're together. After all, we're Titans, we're often seen together anyway. Just not together."

"Yeah. And you probably aren't the type to make out in public or in private anyway."

"Want to bet?" She smirked at him.

"Actually no. That would destroy my image of you."

"Good," she replied. "Because I would have lost the bet. But hugs are okay, right?"

She didn't wait for an answer and closed in, squeezing him tightly.

They had gone to a classy restaurant, the type that Raven probably would have liked, and Beast Boy wasn't too picky so he had enjoyed it as well. The food was excellent, at least, and though he wasn't used to wearing fancier clothes, he was fine with it as well. There was a lot of stuff set up for couples in Jump, like dances, love tunnels, etc. but neither of them was going to be caught in those things, so they opted to watch a movie (ironically, a fanmade one which featured them getting together, though not in the way either of them would have preferred - it made them seem like love crazed fools, which they really weren't) and then sit on the shore and watch the moon rise. Ordinarily, couples would have watched the sun rise or set together, but Raven, being more nocturnal, and liking the darkness, liked the sight of the pristine white moon more than the sun. And the beast part of Beast Boy liked it as well. And so they sat there, perfectly comfortable in each others' presence, and she even pressed her hand against his for a moment before moving it away again.

They did it a few more times and were discreet about it enough that even the other Titans did not notice, just the way Raven would have preferred it. And it was quite enjoyable for both of them. Going out not really to get to know each other - they knew each other pretty well already - but just to enjoy life for what it was. Or in Raven's case, to escape from the more gloomy aspects of life, and to get to know something better. For her, that was enjoyment.

Of course, nobody could be blind forever, and Robin had been the first one to notice (trained by the world's greatest detective, who would've guessed?) but he had simply smirked and kept his mouth shut because he knew Raven pretty well as well, and knew that she would have wanted him to keep silent about it. And she appreciated that. And Beast Boy's respect for their leader also grew.

Cyborg had found out next by sheer accident - he had encountered them in the same theater when going out with Sarah one day, and he hadn't made a scene at all, but merely winked at Beast Boy, signaling that he knew as well. But he had kept silent, knowing that both his green friend and violet one would not want him to talk about them, and besides, he was mature enough not to tease two people who genuinely cared about each other.

And Starfire had found out last, but by then, because both Robin and Cyborg knew, everyone could simply look at her strangely as if she should've known all along and that she was blind for not noticing, but really it wasn't her fault because Robin was simply the most observant out of all of them (maybe besides Raven, but that could be contested) and Cyborg had found out by luck. But either way she was very happy with them and nearly choked both of them to death with one of her hugs.

In the end, despite all their fears, everything had worked out alright.

A/N: Not my style, but a happy ending for once.

End of all the pairings with the normal Titans, but I'll go ahead and continue with some bonus pairings.