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Chapter 11

Friendship

~8~

Her throat was parched, her mind was bleary and her body felt heaviness unlike anything she had ever experienced. Her slowly awaking consciousness was vaguely able to make out the soft murmuring beside her, but her eyes were failing to open. For a moment her mind was slowly succumbing back into the peaceful dark abyss, eager to give into the infinite blissful oblivion. But a gnawing feeling in her chest brought her fighting to regain consciousness. Like waking from a very deep slumber, her eyes slowly opened as the indistinct outlines of her bed chambers gradually came to view. She did not immediately speak as she tried to make sense of why she was in such a state of confusion, having no thread of memory of how this situation came to be.

Steadily rousing from her slumber, she carefully tried to turn her head in the direction of where she presumed the voices were coming from.

There was a momentary pause before a hushed voice came out calmly, "The lady is waking."

"Do not disturb her just yet," Another distinctly deep male voice added, one that she was acutely familiar with but could not quite yet place, "she may just be drifting in and out of consciousness."

She had once again lost focus on her vision as her eyes threatened to give way to exhaustion. Slumber was still luring her to let go of her reality and she would have ordinarily given in had her curious mind not been plagued with countless questions.

Swallowing heavily and refraining to wince from the sting of her dry throat, she managed to rasp out "Water."

With resolve, she opened her eyes again, this time determined to keep them open. Clearing her vision and finally putting a face to the familiar voice, she watched as Byakuya leaned over her to examine her eyes and limbs. She did not bother to question his actions and why she had suddenly substituted Hisana as his patient, but his behaviour did add to her growing apprehension. With the mounting confusion, she decided to ignore her parched throat and made an attempt to vocalise her concerns. However, much to her relief, before her throat took another strain, a thin arm entered her line of sight as her eyes flickered to the other raven-haired man in the room.

She recognised him immediately to be one of Ichigo's most trusted advisors, Uryuu Ishida. With a gentle nod and a free arm offering to assist in her sitting up enough to drink the water his other hand held, he carefully aided her into a more elevated position. Politely taking the cup from his hand, she nodded her thanks before relieving her throat of its pain.

Byakuya finished applying the last of the ointment on her skin, now littered with subtle red marks from the leeches, and asked, "Lady Rukia, how do you feel? Do you sense any pain?"

Her concerns were only confirmed by his choice of question. "No." She answered with an accompanied shake of the head before she asked. "What happened?" She daringly looked Byakuya straight in the eyes, hoping against odds that he would be honest with her.

"You have been unwell," He replied, cautious with his selection of words, "to offset your condition, his Highness decided to keep you sedated until the pain wore off. You have been unconscious for four days now." He had been honest with her, he at least knew she deserved that much, but even still his answer was evasive, fearing that her young mind would not be able to comprehend her predicament.

Her brows immediately furrowed in worry at the thought of what had kept her unconscious for four days. Certainly something very serious, yet her hazy mind failed to remember specific details. At best she was able to recall her last waking moment had been with Grimmjow and she had been training as per usual until she grew exhausted. Beyond that, everything felt like an indistinguishable fog draped across her eyes.

She pressed on, though her posture spoke of a recovering patient, her voice was increasingly becoming stronger, her way of telling the men that she could handle the truth. "What condition is it that you speak of?"

Fleetingly, Byakuya couldn't help the sympathy he felt for the girl, particularly when said girl resembled Hisana so much. However, despite the compassion, his tone remained impartial. "There was poison in your blood. Not lethal enough to take a life but still rather bothersome had it completely fused with your blood. You heaved most of it out of your body before you fell unconscious."

Rukia had to swallow to hold back any outward reaction of fear. Her features hardened as she took in a shaky breath. For some reason, though she felt no sadness, the back of her eyes began to sting, but she quickly willed away the prickling sensation. This was an out of body experience for her as a myriad of emotions came forcefully barging at her and all too abruptly, she was forced to come to terms that someone had intended her harm. Her body tingled in an uncomfortable numbness and with the onslaught of thoughts and emotions, her survival instincts kicked in as momentarily her mind barred her off from feeling altogether as it endeavoured to oppress the sudden revelation.

"I see." Was all she said, her face blank and unreadable.

After much observing and feeling somewhat sorry for all the burden Rukia had now had to carry on her shoulders, Ishida spoke, "I think his Grace will be pleased to hear that you have woken. I have been diligently sent to monitor your healing progress for the past four days."

Rukia's amethyst eyes looked up at the smaller man in the room before she found herself questioning him again, "The Lord sent you?"

All of a sudden, she was keenly aware of the lack of Ichigo's presence.

"Yes." Ishida nodded as he registered the flicker of hurt that crossed her expression, "Does something ail you my lady?"

There was hesitation, but when she did speak, her voice took on an unfamiliar coldness "No.."

Rukia bit the inside of her mouth so as to remain discreet about her anger and hurt. The stinging sensation of her eyes returned but no tears fell. She wished she had been just angry at her King, but alas, she found the emotion increasingly more akin to that of betrayal than anger, and she didn't know how to deal with such foreign and intense emotions. For the first time in her life she found herself loathing the fact that she had been correct, correct in her assumption that he simply felt no desire to seek her out, correct in that she was the only one silly enough to interpret him teaching her the piano as anything more than companionship. She had now lost count of how many days had passed since he had come to see her, and she simply loathed to think about their last encounter at the play. The hurt only intensified now that she realised that her being injured was still not reason enough to motivate a visit from whom she had thought was her friend.

She bit her lip again.

Sensing a change in her mood, Ishida quickly decided to amend his words.

"His Grace was the one who saved you from harm's way, he carried you from the forest to seek out Lord Byakuya." Not much ever escaped Ishida's observation and something told him that his words held a very negative connotation to Rukia though he could not yet decipher a more precise explanation.

She missed him. She missed him so terribly it hurt, but nothing could compare to the pain that it was all just one-sided. So he had known of the severity of her condition but the only attention he could spare her was the monitoring from his advisor. She wanted to laugh, for nothing else came close to expressing the abandonment she felt. Looking at Byakuya and Ishida more closely, it finally registered to her that she had been poisoned and unconscious for four days, yet the only people with her as she woke were acquaintances.

Habitually, she couldn't help but gradually direct the anger at herself. She could only blame herself for being so naive to harbour the notion that the King was her friend. Had she not conjured up this false sense of belonging, she would have never been exposed to such hurt. Yet even as she told herself this, she found herself increasingly eager to vent her frustrations.

Sitting a little straighter, she looked at Ishida with determined eyes, "May I be so bold to request that you escort me to his Highness?"

Ishida was quick to frown in response as he tried to speak reason into her, "I do not think that will be wise, you may no longer be in pain, but your body remains weak."

"I understand." She nodded, and for a second Ishida really thought he had convinced her, "Then I shall seek out the Lord on my own, thank-you."

He looked at Rukia with a deadpanned expression, at once catching on, "You do not truly give me a choice my lady."

"My apologies." She confirmed his theory, and had the mood been less somber, she would have smiled a mischievous smile.

"No need. I shall bring you to the King." He sighed in resignation.

When the doors opened for Ishida, Rukia was almost overwhelmed by the scene before her, her earlier bravado all but dissipating into thin air as her eyes fell upon the men all seated in the Throne room. Her eyes quickly fell on Ichigo as he sat on his throne with his chin resting in his palm, intently listening to the words of a man whom Rukia noted had beautiful long white hair. She noticed with minuscule relief that Grimmjow along with Urahara and Yoruichi were all present, but that relief quickly dissolved as she gradually realised she had stumbled her way into what looked to be an important meeting. With a sudden change of heart, she wanted to turn back around and leave but Ichigo's gaze had flickered towards her before her body was able to respond to her thoughts.

For a brief second, a look of unguarded surprise took hold of his handsome features before it was replaced by his signature furrowing of the brows. In the same moment, the eight other occupants in the room turned to look at what had caught the King's attention. Rukia froze, and gauging Ishida's sudden rigid form, he too felt the weight of the nine pairs of eyes on him. The raven-haired girl could only deduce that if even one of the most trusted advisors felt the weight of intimidation in this room, then it said a lot about the power the occupants in attendance held.

Seated closest to Ichigo were two men Rukia had never seen during her stay in Court, one being the aforementioned kind looking man with the long white hair and the other being an apathetic looking man with wavy brown hair tied together at the base of his neck. To the left of both men sat the godparents and it did not go by unnoticed that Yoruichi was the only woman in the midst of the high-ranking advisors and minsters. Looking more serious than she could recall was the General himself whom by now was engaged in a side discussion with a man with a '69' tattoo on his cheek. The two remaining occupants in the room were none that she had seen though she was able to catch the male with the short blonde hair and abnormally long teeth addressing the person beside him 'Kensei'.

"What is the meaning of this Advisor?" Ichigo's back straightened as he asked Ishida, in a clear warning tone, for the intrusion.

Ishida was quick to bow and internally chastised himself for neglecting the fact that these meetings were increasingly getting longer, and though his presence was usually expected, he understood that Ichigo was referring to his companion. "Forgive me your Highness." And he stayed bowed.

"My Lord." Rukia hastily jumped in to justify Ishida's actions and curtseyed with strain, "Please, this was all my doing, Lord Ishida merely made certain that I would not," she paused here, trying to conceal the fact that she was still very weak, "stray."

Sighing and dismissing Ishida's bow, Ichigo rubbed at his temples before speaking evenly at his youngest advisor, "Ishida, bring Lady Rukia to the great hall." And then directing his eyes at the obviously weakened girl, he said "I will attend to you shortly."

Bowing to the King himself and the other authoritative figures in the room, Ishida led Rukia to the empty great hall before he excused himself and rushed back to whatever was left of the meeting. The moment she was left alone, Rukia was quick to find herself a chair as she almost collapsed into the cushions of it. Evening out her breathing, she gripped the polished wooden arm of the chair and gritted her teeth as she continued to endure the lingering effects of the poison. However, the moment she closed her eyes, she was again all too aware of why she had forced her weakened body to seek out the King. All at once, she remembered the hurt and confusion all too clearly.

She didn't know how long she had stayed immobile in that chair, thinking of everything she would say to the King, before she bolted into a standing position the moment Ichigo's voice broke through her thoughts.

"You are not well enough to be out of bed."

Ichigo had stopped by the dining table, leaving a rather generous distance between them as Rukia straightened her back and moved away from the chair. She kept her back straight and hid any outward signs of fatigue, uncomfortable with the thought of pity or sympathy from Ichigo.

"Yes. I am aware of that, Lord Byakuya did the honour of informing me my condition. Thank-you for your concern." She hadn't meant to sound so cold, but she couldn't help the frustrations that had steadfastly mounted in the time that she had been alienated from him.

Ichigo was taken aback from the foreign tone she had taken having never seen Rukia anything but warm, nevertheless he reasoned with her. "If you had known then there is no reason you should be coercing my advisor into escorting you around Court."

Rukia bit her inner cheek to hide the sting of his indifference as her defence mechanism only barricaded her further away from her usual self. She showed him that she too could be callously apathetic as her tone sounded hauntingly empty. "Be at ease my Lord, I promise you my condition is well enough to carry out the task expected of me."

At this, Ichigo couldn't help but frown at what she was implying as he quipped back defensively, "Excuse me?"

Rukia's voice did not waver and her eyes did not stray from his but subconsciously her right arm darted out to hold onto the nearest thing to steady her standing, evidence to Ichigo that the poison remained. He flinched slightly; almost about to react in some fashion at the fear of her collapsing, but seeing though she was doing her best efforts to mask her fatigue, he played ignorant.

Her tone remained flat and uncaring, but her eyes spoke of a more honest hurt, "That is your foremost matter of interest is it not, whether I am still adequate for the task."

Ichigo did not immediately reply as he took a moment to absorb this sudden change in demeanour. He regarded her carefully as he tried to read between the coldness of her facade and the harshness of her words and slowly, he began to realise that Rukia was upset. "My foremost priority is your health and safety," He said calmly and much more personally than his initial attempt at reasoning with her, "the mission you speak of is of little importance to me right now."

But it seemed his honest words fell on unbelieving ears. "I am beginning to feel that you are merely pretty with your words."

He knew no matter how he interpreted those words there would be no way he wouldn't be offended by them. Moreover he couldn't ignore the sharp pain in his chest at her accusation. If she had known of the loneliness he endured having avoided her for the past fortnight and the anguish he suffered seeing her in pain, he knew she would not be so cruel with her words...but she didn't know. At the realisation of that, he once again found he could not blame her for her anger for she too was most likely undergoing unwanted emotions of her own. With the unjustness of their circumstances, he found himself getting angry.

So he lashed out and spoke in his most authoritative and warning tone, "I shall remind you that it is the King in which you are speaking to."

"Of course it is." She quipped back, her pent up hurt and frustrations finally snapping, "You do well in reminding me whom I speak with or how you wish for me to act. Forgive me my Lord but I'm afraid I can no longer keep up with your mixed messages." Her fingers tightened around the chair holding her up until her knuckles turned white.

His anger lingered but confusion was quickly taking to the forefront of his awareness as he took in a deep breath and tried to temper his misdirected annoyance, absolutely despising the resignation in her voice. "I do not understand your frustrations with me."

She simply dismissed his comment as though she was simply too immersed in her own thoughts or simply too tired from incessantly wondering what she had done to warrant Ichigo's blatant ignoring. "When you feel that I am out of line, when you wish to hold authority over me you never fail to impose your status on me." Slowly her anger was dispersing as something else started to dominate her demeanour, one Ichigo did not think he would handle well.

She continued, never knowing that Ichigo had inwardly flinched at the truth behind her words, "When you seek out freedom, a moment away from your duties you desire to only be yourself with me." She paused momentarily, her aggression still quite distinct, before reminding him, "Yet do you remember that it is you who asked to just be 'Ichigo' in my presence?"

Ichigo realised that he was, for the first time, witnessing Rukia in her vulnerability, "Rukia, please...calm down."

And she did, not because he asked her to but because she couldn't speak this part without feeling empty and discarded. "You always came to visit during training, and then suddenly you just stopped coming. Without a word you simply ceased coming." All anger and aggression gone, instead a deep sense of hurt laced her every word. "I cannot keep up with your heart's whims. Either you are my King or you are my friend, both who have always and will always have my greatest respect." And then her eyes softened to a plea, "But please... please do not be a King when you want to be, and then a friend when your heart desires so. I simply cannot keep up."

Ichigo took a step forward, subconsciously trying to reach out to her but faltered as he decided against it. His features had by now softened as he looked on at the young Rukia enduring her own conflicting emotions. He hadn't realised that she had been kept in the dark with only her thoughts to distinguish the reason for his actions in the past fortnight. To feel powerless was maddening, but to feel abandoned as a consequence of his actions, and a consequence that she had had to endure alone... he hated himself then.

A heavy silence hung over them as Rukia's eyes was now downcast and Ichigo was taken aback by shame.

Ichigo was the first to break the silence with a half honest confession, "I wanted to come see you." He would never tell her that he had avoided her in fear of giving into desire and losing any remnants of self-control. He would never tell her that he had been by her side every night, when he was sure everyone had retired to bed, that he would be seated next to her watching as she breathed in exertion for only God knows how long.

"But you didn't." There was no callousness in her tone, just a deep rooted sadness. "Do you know who it was that I woke up to after four days? My sister's doctor and my King's advisor." She shook her head, "No, it wasn't the best feeling." She left out the fact that it only further emphasised how alone she was.

Ichigo clenched his jaw and tightened his fists as he refrained from telling her how wrong she was. There was nothing he could say that wouldn't reveal the forbidden nature of the entirety of this cruel predicament they were placed in. It would be easier if he could summon the courage to simply give up and walk away from all of this, but she made it so difficult. He knew it was a sign when she had held on the first night she was poisoned. When she had opened her eyes he had panicked, yet when he had realised that she was merely drifting in and out of consciousness, he had been disappointed. A selfish part of him just wanted her to know, though what it was exactly that he wanted her to know, he still couldn't decipher.

When she decided that he would not attempt to salvage their bond, she knew it was time to take her leave from the great hall, from him. "Thank-you for listening. I have taken much of your time, it is best I retire for the evening."

Releasing the chair from her death grip, she prayed she would leave an impression of poise as his final thought of her.

But his voice ceased all movements, as he looked her very intently in the eyes. "Rukia." His tone was serious, but she recognised 'Ichigo' in this tone not the 'King'. "Why did you do it?" At her puzzled look, he reiterated more clearly, "Why did you toast my impending marriage?"

At once she knew he was referencing her speech to him and Senna on that dreadful night of the play.

Rukia couldn't help the frown of confusion at his question. She couldn't see how it was relevant nor could she see the significance in it for him. It wasn't his soul that was utterly crushed that night, nevertheless she answered him truthfully, "I was left with no choice. You granted me pardon, but it was a wish I could not deny my sister."

"But you cared little for how I felt." Whether he had intended for Rukia to hear or not, she would never know, nonetheless she heard every word, and every word he mumbled in bitterness felt like a prick to her heart.

"Pardon?"

"It's nothing." He dismissed evenly, and then looked at her again, "You are right, it has been selfish of me to have imposed double standards on you. I am sorry." He spoke with sincerity before his tone took on one of resignation, "Perhaps it is better that you see me as your King... it is best that way."

Just as she had begun to accept his apology, not a moment later all the anger she initially felt came rushing back. "So that's it? You will throw away our friendship just like that."

"Then what will you have me do?" he retorted hotly, his patience lost as he couldn't understand what it was that Rukia wanted from him. He apologised and gave her the answer she was seeking yet it seemed to have done nothing to quell her anger.

Not the only one losing their patience, Rukia threw her hands up in the air almost in child-like fashion and admitted, "I don't know! I thought if I gained some closure from you I would be better off, happier even. But I don't feel happy at all, far from it. In fact, now I feel miserable." Her large confused eyes sought out Ichigo's amber eyes and he noticed at once that the foreign angry Rukia from earlier on had all but depleted, and all that was left standing in front of him was the resilient girl he had grown completely attached to.

As he watched her in her confused state, obviously unprepared for the possibility of this outcome, he couldn't deny the contentment and relief that flowed through him. He had been right after all, when Rukia had held onto his hand, it had meant something. They both knew that Rukia had inadvertently admitted to not wanting to be away from him.

He shook his head but refrained from letting his chuckle escape. "Are all women so peculiar?" He asked, slowly making his way to her and closing the gap between them.

"Yes." Looking to the side and hoping to mask the blush that formed from her admission of not wanting to lose him as a friend, she folded her arms across her chest and missed the relieved smile on her King's face.

She was almost about to protest when she vaguely noticed that he was invading her personal space when she was rendered speechless as he enveloped her in a hug, his forehead resting on the top of her head. Her eyes widened as she felt her breath shorten. Her folded arms, the only barrier keeping his chest from being completely pressed up against hers tensed in shock. He seemed so calm, and noticing that he wasn't indicating moving any time soon, she slowly relaxed into his hold. She turned her head and rested her left cheek against his chest and smiled.

His action said everything he could not.

The smell of her was intoxicating, and though he had acted on impulse, he found he did not care for anything else in that moment. He couldn't even care if someone walked in on their embrace, nor did he pay heed to the consequences. Everything just felt so right having her in his arms.

Slowly, she found that in his presence she could finally wholly face the severity of her situation. Calmly, she murmured to herself, "I was poisoned." She had spoken the words so softly he knew that she was simply taking the moment to absorb the fact and not actually speaking for him to acknowledge.

She had been in so much shock that her subconscious had repressed the news when Byakuya had first informed her. But somehow, her courage had returned in this moment, and finally she was able to come to terms with her near fatal experience.

His hold on her only tightened. "Are you afraid?"

She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. "No." Not anymore.

~8~