Chapter 12: Introduction to Feminist Theory
Summary: There's a party
Jeff did his best to keep his composure as they entered the hotel. With Annie on his arm, he felt more confident than he would have normally, and he once again was grateful that she pushed to be included. He knew she was right that he should attend the party, and he couldn't imagine going solo, as it would be too damn depressing. But he was still concerned about Annie's experience, wanting to protect her from the pigs. He was wondering if they could get away in under an hour.
"Jeff, this is amazing! Look at this!" She indicated with her head over to the ballroom doorway, where there was a small table with nametags and what looked to be bags of party favors.
"Are we at a wedding?"
Annie rolled her eyes and pulled him toward the table. She then deftly picked out their names and began pinning his tag to his lapel.
"I think it's great! This way everyone won't get confused. My guess is Ted did this so that the clients got to know all the associates? And perhaps he invited some potential clients?" She eyed his tag and then gasped, "Jeff! Yours says Jeffrey Winger, Associate."
"Yeah?"
She looked up at him and handed him her tag, and he began to pin it on her, careful not to disrupt the fabric of her dress. He had to hand it to Rachel that she knew fashion. Annie was simply stunning.
"Jeff, you're not an associate. You're a consultant."
"I guess that means Ted's pretty optimistic I will pass the bar."
He read her tag, noticing it said, Annie Winger, guest.
"Crap, I told him it was Edison-Winger, but he's pretty old school. Sorry."
She glanced down and shook her head, not appearing to be that concerned. She then rolled onto her tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"You will pass the bar, very soon."
"Eh, let's not talk about the bar right now." He squinted and then held out his arm once again, letting her latch on.
They entered the ballroom, and Annie let out various oohs and aaahs, and he couldn't help but feel pretty excited. He momentarily forgot why they were there and got caught up in the fact that they were dressed to the nines and in a place that was full of swank.
God, he wanted to show Annie the world. She deserved it.
He looked down at her and moved his hands to her hips, taking a full moment to take in the sight of her. Her hair, very luscious lately which she had explained was a side effect of pregnancy and likely her eating habits, cascaded down her shoulders, and her cheeks were flush. She smiled and batted her lashes, and he felt his heart flutter.
He whispered, "You're beautiful."
"So are you. You know I love how you look in a tux."
They grinned at each other, and then the moment came to a crashing halt.
"Oh my god, it is you!"
They both tightened their smiles and sighed before turning their attentions to Alan, who of course was standing there with his mouth half open.
"Hi Alan." Annie's eyes betrayed her true feelings, but Jeff was fairly certain Alan didn't notice, as he was staring at her boobs.
Instinctively, Jeff slapped his arm. "Eye contact would be appreciated, Sundance."
"Oh, um, sorry. Force of habit, but damn Annie those things have always been spectacular, but now….I suppose that's cause you're knocked up again?"
Annie's eyes widened and then almost instantly narrowed. She replied, "I don't want to talk about my appearance."
"But wowza, yikes." Alan made a rounding gesture in front of her stomach, and she reluctantly chuckled.
"Oh, that. We can talk about that."
Alan's eyes had been almost bugging out of his head, but he seemed to rein it in as he then cast a glance between the two of them.
"Damn, I still can't believe you two are together. Come on Annie, we go way back. You could have at least mentioned it."
She let out a long sigh and said, "I'm sorry I didn't say anything, but I wasn't sure how you were going to react. It's very important to me that we keep things in NA separate from everything else. Do you understand?"
There were several beats of silence, and Jeff was amazed at Annie's pointed and steely stare. If she wanted to be a lawyer, he'd fully support it.
Finally, Alan shrugged and made the most non-breezy nonchalant expression anyone could muster and said, "Yeah, of course." He then glanced past Annie's shoulder and said, "Hey, I want you to meet my fiancée."
A familiar looking blonde approached, two cocktails in her hands. She was dressed impeccably in a tight fitting royal blue dress, and she flashed a polite smile as she neared.
Alan accepted one of the drinks from her, and Jeff mentally reminded himself to be the one to get them drinks and to make sure Annie's was a mocktail. He had put in a request for that with Ted's secretary, knowing that these events were pretty much alcoholic binges.
"Jeff, Annie, this is my fiancée, Barb." Alan eagerly pushed the woman toward them, and she seemed slightly irritated, but recovered quickly and extended her hand toward Annie.
"Hi, um, you seem familiar. Have we met?"
Annie opened her mouth to respond, when it hit Jeff.
He blurted, "Wait, didn't you used to date Mitchell?"
Barb turned from shaking Annie's hand and then extended it to Jeff, and they greeted one another. She tightened her smile and after casting Alan a quick look, replied, "Um, yes, briefly, but that was a long time ago." Appearing to search her memory, she paused and then said, "Wait, now I remember. Didn't we meet at that Italian bistro on second?"
"Ahh, yes, that's it."
He took small pleasure in noticing Alan's paleness, for he was sure that Alan had scooped up Barb at some point after she broke up with Mitchell, and Jeff had no idea how long ago that was, given he and Annie just met her on that one night, which he recalled was his and Annie's first official date. And it was the night he and Annie had first had sex.
Good times.
Still perplexed as to why Barb was planning to marry Alan, who physically and even personality wise couldn't hold a candle to the suave Mitchell, Jeff remarked, "That was a great night. It was our first date." He placed his arm around Annie's shoulders, and was giddy as he felt her lean against him.
Barb raised her brows and said, "Wow! I had no idea, and that was what, three years ago?" At their nods of confirmation, she glanced down at Annie's belly and said, "Oh, and congratulations!"
Annie rubbed her hand over the bump and said, "Thank you. We're very excited. Baby Winger number two is due in a few months. Their big sister is at home."
"Two? Oh my god."
Annie smiled proudly.
Jeff figured Barb's shocked expression reflected the fact that she had no clue Sophie was actually four and probably thought they were popping out the babies as quickly as they could. He once again giggled internally, content at the fact that he didn't really care what anyone thought, which was a nice change of pace. And if Alan's fiancée (still, what the hell was up with that?) was befuddled, it just made the whole night more bearable.
"Your ring is so nice. Alan, isn't that ring precious?" Barb lifted Annie's hand to take in the sight of the amethyst stones and not-so-subtly let her ring flash in the light. To Jeff's amusement it seemed to be a single diamond and it was huge.
Well, now he figured out why Barb was marrying Alan.
Alan squinted at it and remarked, "Yeah, babe, it's cute. Nice, Winger, couldn't you afford a diamond?"
Barb snapped, "I wasn't trying to insult her. I actually think it's very pretty. And unique. It seems like he put a lot of thought into it."
Annie purred as she held up the ring to view it under the lights, "It's my favorite color. He knew I didn't want a diamond like everyone else."
Jeff chocked down his laugh and turned, mumbling something about getting them drinks. He figured Annie had the situation handled, and he was relieved he didn't have to leave her alone with Alan.
X
It was moments later when he had successfully placed a request for a mocktail, getting assurances from the bartender after pointing out Annie in the crowd, that he understood why there was to be no alcohol in it, and also ordered himself a Scotch.
"Hey, Tango!"
Jeff smiled as he turned to see Mark approaching with his girlfriend Jenny, a pretty woman of average height with a carefully coiffed red bob. He had met her on a few occasions by this point, and although he didn't really know her that well, the fact that Mark had turned his back on some more of the shady firm tactics in the firm, he knew she was good for him.
He reached out his hand, and they shook. "Cash." He then leaned over and gave Jenny a quick peck on the cheek, and she laughed.
"Hi, Jeff."
"You look great. I'm glad this jerk brought you here. You can save Annie from those two." He indicated with his head over toward Annie, Alan, and Barb, and then his eyes widened as he spotted Mitchell and his newest blonde (Ainsley?), making their way toward the trio.
"Crap, Mitchell's here."
Mark rolled his eyes. "Of course he is. And who cares?" He leaned in and whispered, casting a conspiratorial look at Jenny, "Since we're almost outta here."
Jeff gulped and said, "Right. Still, we should probably get over there and make sure Annie's okay."
Jeff grabbed the drinks and started to head over, when Mark stopped him and hissed, "I need to run something past you."
"Can it wait a minute?"
"Sure. But soon, okay?"'
"Got it."
The three of them joined the group, and it appeared that everyone was talking excitedly and Ainsley had her hand on Annie's belly.
Well, that was a surprise.
"Jeff can't feel them yet either. I'm really hoping it'll be soon." Annie pouted but seemed delighted that Ainsley was taking an interest.
"I'm so happy for you guys. I remember you showing me pictures of your daughter. She's so cute."
"I have more pictures. Do you want to see?" Annie rummaged in her purse and took out her phone.
Jeff sidled up to her and after flashing a grin at Mitchell and Ainsley, handed Annie her mocktail. He attempted to gauge her mood, and he ascertained she seemed genuinely in good spirits. She mouthed her thanks and took a sip, nodding her approval before she returned her attentions to her phone and began chatting away with Ainsley. Being ignored by Alan, Barb cast Mitchell a questioning look and at his tight smile, awkwardly shuffled closer to view the pictures.
Jenny made greetings to Mitchell and Alan and then with a wink at Mark, joined the ladies near the phone.
"Annie!"
"Jenny! I'm so glad you're here!"
Mitchell frowned over at the women and remarked, "I had no idea your ladies were so friendly with each other. Do you guys socialize a lot?"
Mark shrugged and grabbed Jeff's glass, taking a long sip of Scotch before handing it back and said, "Here and there."
"Really?"
Jeff took out a handkerchief and wiped down his glass, making a mental note to steal Mark's eventual drink later.
An irritated Alan piped in, "They don't socialize with me either, Mitchell. They think they're too good for the likes of us. Even though, we have women too you know."
Jeff rolled his eyes.
At this, Mitchell smirked and after taking a sip of his own drink, which appeared to be a Manhattan, said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Alan. Ainsley and I had dinner with Jeff and Annie a few months ago."
Once again, Jeff nearly choked. He cast Mitchell a bemused look, noticing the guy's eyes were dancing. Okay, he might not have been that big of a fan, but he had to admit he'd put up with Mitchell any day over Alan.
Alan scrunched up his face and started to sulk, which Mark used as an opportunity to say, "Hey Cash, I'm gonna get a drink. You want another one? You'll be done soon."
Jeff stared down at his oddly near empty glass and replied, "Right, yes. Let's go. Be back, gentlemen." He nodded at them and turned to go back to the bar.
X
"Sooo?"
Mark handed Jeff a new drink and then moved in closer and whispered, "I'm gonna do it tonight."
"Do what?" Jeff grabbed Mark's drink out of his hand and took a very long sip.
"Oh, thanks. Good idea." Mark turned and used his now free hands to stop a waiter and grab two fistful of olives and a meatball off a tray and then turned back to Jeff. "God, I'm stress eating but I don't care." He began to shovel in the olives, and Jeff did his best not to concern himself with the teetering meatball on the cocktail napkin. He took another swig from Mark's glass just because.
"Are you sure you're not pregnant? Cause the way you're going to town on those, you remind me of Annie." He cast a look over in her direction and noticed to his relief that she appeared to have found the appetizer waiter as well and was holding a small plate full of food as she chatted away with the ladies. It seemed as if Ainsley now had the phone and was clicking through the pictures animatedly as Jenny oohed and Barb looked slightly bored.
Mark replied with a muffled, "I'm so nervous."
"Why?"
"I'm gonna propose to Jenny."
"I know. You told me you had a ring."
"Tonight, Jeff. It has to be. I can't take it any longer, and look, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever been with and I want to ask her before we officially start the firm and then I get even more stressed."
As Mark licked his fingers clean, Jeff motioned him over to a side high table and set down the drinks, pushing Mark's over to him.
"You'll be fine. Just get her out of here in a little bit and do it."
"Yeah?"
"Don't over think it. It's beautiful outside tonight. Take her to go look at the stars."
Mark nodded and took a swig of his drink, eyeing it with curiosity as he set it back down. He then shrugged and stared off toward the women.
"Right. I can do it. Thanks, pal."
"No problem." Jeff smiled and slapped him on the shoulder.
"But I suppose we need to mingle with clients and um, potential clients before we go."
Jeff reluctantly nodded his agreement, and they both sighed.
At that moment, Penelope appeared by their side, dressed in a dark purple sequenced number that hit her just above the knee. Her hair was arranged in long braids, and she seemed to be wearing extra lipstick. It was definitely a more dramatic evening look, and reflected in general how the other female staff were dressed. Jeff wondered if there had been a manual or something.
He smiled at her and gave her a quick side hug, careful to remain professional, and she accepted a similar overture from Mark and then placed her drink, which appeared to be a cranberry vodka concoction, on the table.
She sighed wearily and said, "You have no idea how glad I am to see you guys."
Jeff wrinkled up his brow and asked, "You're not here alone are you?"
She smiled tightly and something flashed across her eyes before she replied, "Yup."
He wondered if she had been stood up, and it occurred to him that he really didn't know that much about her dating life. He was aware she lived with her grandmother and had nephews, which she had been eager to show him pictures of once she had found out about Sophie, but he didn't really know if anyone else was in the picture. She never mentioned anyone, and he didn't think it was appropriate to ask. Working at Hamish, Hamish, & Hamlin set the line at appropriateness very low, and he hadn't wanted to error in making her uncomfortable.
Noticing Mark was distracted as he patted his jacket pocket, which Jeff assumed held the ring, Jeff addressed Penelope, "Yikes, this is not a place you want to be unaccompanied. Sorry. I brought Annie, by the way, so um, I could introduce you?"
Penelope's face lit up, and he offered her his arm and walked her over to the group. He heard Mark start talking to their odd colleague Wally as they turned away. He wasn't eager to get involved in whatever weirdness was happening there and kept his eyes on his lady.
"Annie, this is Penelope, my paralegal assistant. Penelope, this is my wife, Annie." He disengaged from Penelope's arm and motioned between them, stepping back to allow things to proceed.
Penelope held out her hand, and Annie allowed Jeff to take her plate from her as she then shook.
"Oh my, it's so good to finally meet you! Jeff's told me so much about you."
Annie laughed, "And Sophie's told me about you. Thank you for being so sweet with her. I really appreciate it."
Jeff handed the plate to a roaming waiter, when Annie cast him a reproachful look and he silently mouthed his apologies and went searching for another waiter, which luckily he spied quickly and grabbed a clean plate and some appetizers. He handed it to her, and she gave him a kiss on the cheek in appreciation.
Penelope watched the interplay and said, "Aww, you two are so cute."
"We try." He wrapped his arm around Annie's shoulder and basked in this moment. He considered maybe the night wouldn't be so bad after all, if they just stuck to the Penelopes, Ainsleys, and Jennys of the world.
Crap, he knew he had to mingle with clients or the night would be pointless. He made some chit chat with Penelope and Annie before he started to scan the room.
Trevor and Jimmy, who were other associates, approached and somehow maneuvered him into talking with them and Mitchell, as Alan once again tried to wedge himself into the huddle. It was a few awkward minutes before Jeff heard the familiar odd-affected voice.
"It is very good to meet you. I'm Mr. Stone."
"Wally, this is Annie, Jeff Winger's wife. And this is my girlfriend, Jenny."
Jeff whipped his head around to see Annie staring at the poufy-haired Wally Stone, the freak that Mark had likely quickly grown frustrated with and couldn't ditch.
God the guy was creepy. Jeff couldn't ever figure him out, as he had an odd affect and never cracked a smile.
Annie shook his hand and said, "Hi, it's so good to meet you."
"Mrs. Winger."
"It's actually Mrs. Edison-Winger, but you can call me Annie."
"Yes, of course, Mrs. Edison-Winger."
Jeff quickly joined her and said, "Wally. Long time no see."
Wally stared at his outstretched hand and hesitated before he took it and gave it two mechanical shakes. He then said, "I was just meeting your wife."
"Yes, I see that. What's new in the world of probate and witness prepping?"
Wally blinked twice before replying in a monotone, "We've had one death this week. I'm doing bequeathments on the fifteenth."
Jeff nodded politely and didn't engage with Annie's likely incredulous expression.
Wally added, "I'm working the Chelsea case, getting Mrs. Anderson prepped to give testimony. I'll have her hooked up on Wednesday."
"Excuse me? Hooked up?"
At Annie's question, Wally slowly turned toward her and replied, "In addition to probate law, I specialize in polygraphy. I make sure all of our witnesses can pass scrutiny or we don't put them on the stand."
Annie nodded excitedly and said, "That's amazing! I'm working on my degree in forensics, and my next course is on witness interviewing. Perhaps we could…" She handed her plate and drink to Jeff, who did his best to balance them with his own glass, and fished inside her purse to produce a business card, which Jeff hadn't even realized she had. He thought he caught a glimpse of embossed purple lettering. She handed it over and Wally promptly gave her his.
She smiled as she looked down at it and said, "Polygraphist. I'm impressed."
Now reddening, Wally cocked his head and said, "It's a rather obscure specialty, but it is one of great value. Otherwise, how would we ever know if what people tell us is the truth? The world if full of deception."
X
"So, Jeffrey, here we are."
Jeff whipped around.
"Pierce?!"
Of course he had forgotten Pierce was a long-time client of the firm. He had never seen him at one of these events, however, and had only met him for real when he had enrolled at Greendale, but he had the suspicion that Pierce showed up this time because he knew Jeff and Annie would be there.
"Funny running into you here, my boy." A tuxedoed Pierce chuckled and slapped him on the back.
"Right. How's your evening going?"
"No complaints. I was with Wally but he seems to have wandered off. He's helping me redo my will."
Jeff resumed scanning the crowd from his new spot near the bar, after having finished his second drink. He told Annie he would get her another mocktail and made a whispered promise to her that he'd get one himself.
After ordering and enduring Pierce's quips about him not being able to hold his liquor, Jeff and Pierce took their drinks and stood near the high table.
"I should, um, get this back to Annie."
"Just one moment, Jeffrey, we need to have a chat."
"I saw you last week."
"Yes, it has been a long time. I wanted to get your thoughts on Troy. He could be a man, right? If he stopped hanging out with A-bed, that is. He needs to be his own man."
"Pierce, can we talk about this later? I have some business to do."
"You know, I'm a client of this firm too. You could court my business." Pierce blinked several times and parted his lips slightly, in that way he did when he was trying to be a subtle ass.
Jeff pursed his lips and turned back to him, taking a swift sip of a surprisingly delicious mocktail and then before saying, "I don't think you should get between Troy and Abed."
"Who said anything about that? I merely wanted to present Troy with another option in life."
"He's not going to move back in with you."
"We'll see, Jeffrey. We'll see." Pierce paused and then said with affected nonchalance that Jeff could certainly see through, "Did I mention I was thinking of checking out the Philippines? Just for a little bit? At any rate, since I suppose technically you're my lawyer I'd be entitled to attorney-client privilege…"
Jeff instantly held up his hand and said, "Stop. I am not your lawyer."
"But you work for the firm."
"Yes, but I'm…" Jeff shifted his eyes around the room and then spotted Mark chatting away with Williamson, one of the firm's larger clients. He instantly regretted it, as Pierce followed his gaze.
"Aha! I get it! You and your new bestie are planning to poach clients!"
Jeff cast a quick look around and grabbed Pierce, abandoning their cocktails on the table. He pulled him into a space near the coatroom and snapped, "Please keep your voice down!"
Rubbing his hands together, Pierce smiled evily and said, "Ooooh, how much is it worth to you?"
"Friendship."
"Well, crap. Fine, okay."
"Thank you."
x
"Are you going to eat that?"
Jeff let Mark reluctantly hand Annie his remaining crackers and cheese and then maneuvered her away from the huddle. He whispered in her ear, "I missed you."
She smiled and looked up him as they scurried over to the window. He let out a contented sigh when they reached it, and he placed down both their drinks on the sill.
"God, I can't wait until this is over. I finally ditched Pierce."
Annie munched on her cracker for a few moments and then swallowed and said, "It's weird how he swept in and grabbed Wally. Or am I supposed to call him Mr. Stone? He was kind of strange about it."
"He's just strange. Look, thank you for being such a good sport about tonight."
"People have been really nice, Jeff. Besides Alan, I don't think people here are that bad."
"You've been talking to their dates."
"And Penelope. She's sweet."
"Yes, Penelope is a great, but.."
-"And Mark of course. And even Mitchell doesn't seem that bad, Jeff. Ainsley tells me they're thinking of moving in together."
"Really? Well, he's still an ass."
Ignoring his interjection, she said, "Now that whole Barb-Alan thing is kind of funny. She says he proposed to her last year after they had only been dating a few weeks. They're planning a big wedding this fall, and she seems really into the details, but I don't get the impression she's that into Alan."
"You don't say."
"It's kind of sad, isn't it? Why can't everyone be in love like us?"
His chest fluttered at her words, and he wondered again at her continual power at stopping him in his tracks. He looked down at her, noticing she was fluttering her lashes, and he bent down and kissed her, just like that. He even took a few moments more than strictly necessary, something he normally wouldn't consider in a place like this. She tasted of cheese and mint from her drink, with a hint of strawberry lip gloss.
She was delicious.
He felt her hum against his lips, and as they parted, they exchanged intense eye contact, and he almost forgot where they were.
"Jeff Winger, I've been looking for you!"
Ted clasped his hand, giving it a hearty shake, and Jeff smiled, genuinely letting out a chuckle as he heard the hands pop.
Good ol' Alan with his hole.
"You remember my wife, Ellen?" Ted turned toward the attractive brunette woman around his age on his right. She was dressed in a long black fitted gown and wore what Jeff knew was a very expensive necklace and many rings.
"Yes, of course. Jeff Winger, contractor."
"Soon to be reinstated associate."
"Right, um yes, soon-to-be associate."
"Hello, Jeff. Ted's been talking about you." She winked and her eyes twinkled as she glanced at Annie.
"Ellen, Ted, this is my wife, Annie. Annie, this is my boss Ted Hamish and his wife, Ellen." Jeff made a swooping motion, and Annie shook hands with them both, not giving a noticeable reaction to the popping noise, as Jeff had prepared her in advance.
"It's so great to meet both of you. Jeff's told me so much, so it's good to have faces to match the names."
Ted chuckled and said, "It's good to meet you too. And I hear congratulations are in order."
Annie patted her belly and said, "Thank you. We're really excited."
Ellen leaned forward and remarked, "My, I just love that dress! It's a Divinia, isn't it? Best maternity wear around. You have excellent taste."
Blushing, Annie surreptitiously placed her plate of half-eaten crackers on the side table and turned toward Ellen and said, "Thank you. I wanted to look my best, even if I'm starting to venture into whale territory."
"Nonsense. Why, you're in that perfect stage. Just the bump and you can still move around freely. Enjoy it, dear. It only gets more uncomfortable."
"Oh, I know. We have a four year old."
"That's right, Ted did mention that!" Ellen exchanged looks with Ted and then said, "We wanted to invite you to dinner, and I suppose we should do it soon before you're busy with other things." She smiled affectionately at Annie, and Jeff could tell she was eating it up.
Well, he supposed Ellen might be a good person. Again, he wondered what was up with Ted these days.
Ted slapped him on his back and roared, "You must join us! And then we'll get you all settled back with other things. Jeff, I want you to take over the Hastings account."
Jeff's eyes bulged at the mention of Hastings. Talk about a whale. The guy brought in serious money to the firm, and Larry Troughtmore was his point attorney. Jeff was about to ask, when Ted read his mind and said, "I know, I know. Larry handles him, but remember I fired him?"
"Did you?"
"Well, not really, but he doesn't know that yet. I'll have my secretary call him tomorrow and tell him to report back, but he's being demoted."
Jeff nodded politely at this information and said, "Wow, the Hastings account. Are you sure you want me in charge?"
"Definitely. Hastings is a tee-totaler and," he gestured with his head toward Jeff's mocktail, "I know the orange ones are alcohol free, so my guess is Hastings will take a shining to you. Since when did you give up booze anyway?"
"He's drinking in solidarity with me." Annie batted her lashes and held up her drink.
"You don't say! That's great! Hey, Jeff, come with me for a sec. Annie, you don't mind if I borrow him, do you?" Ted smiled broadly, a hint of his teeth showing.
Annie laughed and shook her head, casting Jeff a bemused look. He bent over and gave her a peck on the cheek, taking the opportunity to whisper, "I'll be back as soon as I can."
She whispered back, "I'm fine. And he seems sweet."
X
Jeff stood in a huddle with Ted, Mitchell, and Chuck, one of the other senior partners. Somehow after a few words of wisdom from Ted about the Hastings account, Jeff had been given a shot of bourbon and then handed a real drink.
He glanced down at the brown fluid and tried to tell himself to do it slowly. Last thing he needed was to get wasted, especially with these clowns. He knew Annie would be furious if she had to haul him home.
"So I said to him, you better ask for a reference nicely." Ted snickered as he recounted the Larry story. Once again, Mitchell kept a somber face, and Jeff wondered when in hell anything would come of that.
He didn't have to wait long.
Larry came storming up to them, reeking of alcohol. He was in a disheveled suit, and a waiter was on his heels, making apologetic pronouncements to Ted and stating he would have him removed from the property.
"Ted! I need a word with you!" Larry slurred as he lurched forward and poked his index finger into Ted's chest.
"Christ, Larry, go home. I'll have someone call you a cab. You're not supposed to be here anyway. Remember, you're fired." Ted cast Jeff a bemused look and then stepped back.
"No, Ted, I got somethin' to say. You need to listen to me." Larry turned and stared at Mitchell for several awkward moments, and Mitchell's eyes widened and there was a bead of sweat making its way down his brow. Finally, Larry slowly turned back to Ted and said, "I know somethin.' It's no fair you firing me. You'll have me back once I tell you who your real enemies are."
"Larry, you need to leave."
X
After Larry was escorted off the premises, Jeff found Annie once again and was relieved to find she had been talking with Penelope and Ainsley. He rubbed her shoulders, and she smiled as she glanced up at him.
"Hey, sorry about that. And um, just so you know, they made me take a shot."
"It's fine, Jeff."
"Did you get the Hastings account?"
He startled at Ainsley's words and stared at her in befuddlement. She shrugged and said, "Mitchell told me Ted was going to offer it to you. He's been kind of pissed off, but oh well. I always liked you two. I'm really glad we met up again." She swayed slightly, and Jeff knew she had had a few.
Penelope stifled a laugh, and Jeff replied, "Ah, yeah, I got it. So Mitchell doesn't like me you say?"
"Oh come on! Of course he doesn't. He knows you're going to outshine him, and you already have. He told me all about your school scandal and everything, and apparently Ted doesn't really care. In fact, he's kind of impressed."
"I see."
"That's why he called the police."
Jeff startled at this, for he knew it was Alan who had ratted him out to the bar, and no one to his knowledge had called the actual police. He let his hands drop form Annie's shoulders, and knowing that he, Annie, and Penelope were all confused, asked, "Police?"
Ainsley hiccupped and said, "Yeah, the night we had dinner. We saw you two making out in your car, and he thought it would be a good way to humiliate you. I'm so sorry. I couldn't stop him. But I saw they let you guys leave, so I'm really glad nothing bad happened." She stared up at him with guilty eyes, and he instantly remembered.
Officer Cackowski and the warning for public indecency. God, to think Mitchell was the one.
"Oh well, no harm. I talked ourselves out of a ticket."
He ignored Penelope's choking noises from his left.
"Yeah, again, I'm so sorry. I tried to get him to…not do it, but sometimes he's a real jerk. I think you guys are soooo nice, and I want kids, so yeah that's why I'm with him. I'm not getting any younger, and you know you can't be picky and choosey…"
Annie stepped forward and put her arm around her, glancing up at Jeff with a worried look before saying, "You absolutely can be picky. I'm so sorry he put you in that position, that wasn't fair at all. You deserve someone better."
"You think?"
"Yes. I had an ex too, and he was really bad for me and roped me into all sorts of things I felt really guilty about, but then I met Jeff and I knew what love really was."
Ainsley leaned her head against Annie's shoulder and began to sob.
It was only then that Jeff heard the sniff from Penelope. He turned to see her wet eyes, and at his unspoken question, she said, "I was highly encouraged not to bring a date tonight. Not that I have a boyfriend, but I couldn't' even have a friend accompany me."
Jeff raised a brow and exchanged confused looks with Annie.
Penelope clarified, "None of the paralegals, and notice all of the paralegals are female by the way, were supposed to bring dates. We were given a memo of how to dress." She pushed down what Jeff assumed was a sob of rage and then indicated with her hand up and down her dress, "So I chose this. And I kind of hate myself."
"But you look great."
Mark had stepped up and uttered the comment, having apparently been eavesdropping, and Penelope, Annie, and Ainsley all instantly shot him furious looks.
X
"I'm so disgusted."
Jeff sighed at Annie's words and crossed his arms as he leaned back against the window. He didn't even care if he crashed through. He just wanted to get out of here.
"I told you they are pigs."
"A memo?! A memo?!"
"Yeah, see…"
-"So they can look all pretty for the Pierce Hawthornes of this party?! Oh my god." She shuddered and made fists. He knew she was seriously outraged when she abandoned her snack plate and stormed off, and he was glad he found her quickly.
"See? This is why I'm leaving this place."
She nodded and looked dup at him. "I get it now. I really do."
"They're not that nice."
"Well, I'm sure some of them are. Like…"
"Mitchell?"
"Well, no, obviously. I can't believe he tried to get us arrested."
"I can."
"I wish we were at home. Or at least with our friends. I miss them."
"Me too."
"Did someone say miss us?"
They startled and turned to see Troy and Abed standing there. Troy was smiling broadly, having just asked the question.
Annie gasped, "Troy! Abed! What are you guys doing here?" Her eyes danced, and it was evident that she was delighted.
Troy let out a low whistle, and Jeff noticed for the first time that both he and Abed were wearing their housewarming party outfits. He wondered how they got past security, but then again Larry had also re-wandered in, and Jeff could see him limping along the far wall.
"We're sorry to intrude, but you weren't answering your texts, so we needed to come down in person to tell you what happened with Sophie."
Jeff felt his stomach instantly knot, and Annie's face went pale. They both instinctively rushed a foot forward and Jeff grabbed Troy by the shoulders.
"What happened?!"
Troy answered with a rush of words, "She's upset. Ruffles took Arianna Puffington and she's hiding under the couch with her and won't come out."
Jeff dropped him and pursed his lips.
"That's it? What the hell? Don't scare us like that."
Abed piped in, "Sophie's crying. She wants her dragon back."
Annie's lip quivered and she said, "Aww, well, maybe we should go back with you guys then, right Jeff?"
"You know what, that's probably not the worst idea."
Abed exchanged odd looks with Troy and then said, "Well, actually, I just got a text from Britta saying the Evil Santa Wizard, whom she invited over without my permission, just coaxed Ruffles out and rescued Arianna Puffington."
Troy let out a breath of relief. "Thank goodness. I was so worried. I mean what if Ruffles ate the dragon's wings and she could no longer fly?"
Jeff patted Annie's shoulder and said, "Well, it seems as if the crisis is averted. But still, I like Annie's suggestion of going home." Noticing Abed and Troy's once again odder than usual expressions, he groaned and said, "You guys came here with a flimsy excuse to join a fancy party didn't you?"
"It's been awhile since Troy and I have done anything remotely fancy, Jeff. I told you I've been neglecting him, what with my 9-5 and the commuting grind. And did I mention the Evil Santa Wizard is over? You know I hate him."
Troy added, "Yeah, Jeff. And I've been working really hard at my odd air conditioning repair jobs this summer so that we can pay rent, and," he gulped down a sob, "I've been feeling like a whore, Jeff. An air conditioning slut."
Jeff nodded calmly and said, "Fine. But blend in."
X
After they ended up introducing Troy and Abed to what they assumed would be the safe combination of Penelope, Ainsley, and Jenny, they made their way back toward Hastings and his wife, wanting to at least put in some face time before they left, which they were hoping would be soon.
Jeff made introductions with Annie, and the four of them chatted amicably for several minutes, Jeff doing his best to put on the Winger charm while playing up his wholesomeness. Hastings seemed to gobble it up and they only stopped when Pierce interrupted.
After sending off Pierce toward Troy and Abed, Jeff ignored Annie's protests and they made a few other introductions with various clients and a couple of the prized potential clients Ted had been courting. The Hamish Hamish & Hamlin bashes were known to treat clients well, and everyone was encouraged to bring friends.
Jeff ended up waiting for Annie while she used the ladies room, and he leaned against the bar, informing the bartender he just needed two waters.
"Cash, you are a sly bastard."
"Well, Sundance. What can I say? I have to work the room. I'm getting the Hastings account." He flashed a grin at Alan, who was standing next to him with one of his sour expressions.
"That's nuts. That was Larry's account."
"Not anymore."
"You think you're so special, don't you? Well, you know what? You suck!"
Jeff realized Alan was pretty drunk at this point, as he listed to the side, and he glanced around for Barb and spotted her approaching with an irritated expression.
"Hey Barb, maybe take him home?"
Alan protested, "Nah! I'm good. Plus, it's soon time for the ladies to vacate so we can all really have some fun!"
Barb and Annie, who had just returned from the ladies room, asked in unison, "What fun?"
Jeff cringed, and Alan yelled, "Strippers! We always order a ton, but they don't come in until midnight." He held up his watch and squinted at it. "It's almost that."
"Alan, shut up."
"Strippers?" Barb frowned and exchanged looks with Annie, who Jeff knew was taking heavy breaths by his side.
He turned, "Look, I didn't want to tell you, but that's the tradition, you see…"
"Jeff, I think we should go home. Barb, I think you should go, too. And if you want, you can take Alan with you. He could certainly use some sobering up."
Alan swayed and pushed Barb off his arm as he said loudly, "You think you're miss goody two shoes, don't you? Why, I know your secret! And you know what, I'm gonna tell everyone!"
Annie hissed, "Alan, go home."
Suddenly they realized Alan's shouting had alerted everyone to the situation, and the room fell eerily silent.
With all eyes on them, Alan ignored Jeff's attempts to drag him away, and shouted, "Annie Winger, you are a cokehead! Yeah, that's right, everyone, I met Jeff's wife in NA! She overdosed and was sent to rehab!"
Annie's eyes went wide, and Jeff immediately took her hand and gave it a squeeze. She smiled tightly and said, "Alan, please stop."
"Oh, I think I'm done. Now everyone in this room can know that Jeff Winger's wife is no saint."
"Is this true, Jeff?"
They both turned as Ted and Ellen approached looking concerned.
Before he could react, Annie replied, "Yes, it is."
Ted raised a brow. "Really? I thought Alan was just being a dick."
That would have probably been the better route to go, but Jeff could tell that Annie was full of indignation, and that she was not ashamed of her rehab stay. It was one of the things he loved about her, and he glanced at her and she gave him a reassuring smile, so he let her take this one.
She said in a louder voice so that everyone nearby could hear, which was pretty much most people now, as the crowed had closed in to watch the display, "Yes, Ted, Ellen, I used to have a drug problem. And I ended up going to rehab and getting clean. I'm a proud member of NA, for it's an organization that has helped me immensely in my recovery. I haven't used drugs for years, and Jeff knows the whole situation and has been loving and supportive."
They waited as Ted seemed to take in the information, for he fell silent and stared down at the floor. To their surprise, Ellen quickly stepped forward and gave Annie a hug, addressing her with warm eyes as she said, "Good for you." She then cast a swift look at Ted, who then joined them.
"Annie, I'm sorry you've been put on the spot. That was really unprofessional of Alan." He turned toward Alan and said, "Alan Connor, you are hereby on leave. We will not tolerate airing dirty laundry in public and violating NA rules. You should know better."
Alan visibly shirked, and Jeff felt vindicated. Take that, asshole.
"But Ted, I…."
"Get out, Alan. We'll chat later about your role should you return. And I want everyone here to know that we at Hamlin, Hamlin, & Hamish take confidentiality very seriously. We are discreet, and Alan Connor will no longer be allowed on sensitive matters. You have my guarantee." He grit his teeth.
Jeff whispered, "Thank you, Ted."
"No problem."
Jeff felt an immense sense of relief, and he and Annie relaxed.
Alan turned meekly toward Barb and said, "Barb, babe, you wanna have a baby? We'll show those Wingers!"
Barb crossed her arms over her chest and closed her eyes for several awkward moments before opening them and stating through clenched teeth, "Alan, we're done. I know you've been sleeping with my sister."
"You do?"
"This night has taught me that none of it is worth it." She took the ring off her finger and threw it on the ground before stomping off.
X
Minutes later, they were chatting amicably with Ted and Ellen, and Jeff was starting to wonder if he had made a huge mistake. Ted really wasn't a bad guy, and him having stick up for Annie, even though he strongly suspected he did so in order to save the firm's reputation, was impressive. And he didn't seem to harbor Annie any ill feelings, for he was chuckling away as they talked about her studies.
"Forensics? Why, maybe we could use you some day."
"Thank you, but I think I might go into law enforcement."
"Oooh..,Jeff, you have to persuade your wife not to go to the dark side."
"So I should persuade her to go into law enforcement?"
"You're such an ass Winger, I love it."
Mitchell, who had been one of the people tasked with escorting Alan out of the ballroom, returned and stood next to Ted, clearly intent on weaseling his way in. Jeff supposed he'd let him try, knowing it couldn't be easy for him to feel second fiddle to the Winger awesomeness.
Plus, he didn't really understand why Ted had been messing with Mitchell lately. He had been under the impression that he had been grooming Mitchell for greatness, but that theory was quickly falling apart as he watched Ted continually rebuff Mitchell's attempts to interject opinions or ask him to go golfing over the weekend.
It was only when Larry, who had finally drunkenly made his way from the back wall, approached did things become clearer.
"Hey, Ted, I told you we're not finished!"
Ted gave his wife an eye roll and turned to face Larry, Mitchell almost imperceptibly clenching as he watched.
"Larry, I thought I sent you home."
"Not until I tell you." Larry sneered at Mitchell and said, "I have nothing to lose now, Mitch. I'm gonna tell him."
A wide-eyed Mitchell leapt forward and gripped his arm as he said, "Larry, please."
Pushing him off, Larry spat out, "No!" He then addressed Ted and said, "Mitch slept with your wife!"
Ted gave a tightened smile and said simply, "Oh, Larry. You are a hoot! A hoot, I say! Now please, go home and sober up." He then addressed the crowd, "Nothing to see here, people. I apologize for this. Larry is no longer employed at Hamish Hamish & Hamlin, effective before this party. Please, everyone go have some fun! Balloons drop in thirty minutes!"
Everyone laughed, and went along their own ways, but Jeff locked eyes with Ellen, and he knew the truth.
Well crap.
X
Ted had ushered him into a private room, and he had let him. While he didn't want to be parted from Annie, she said she understood and had rejoined Penelope, who was now animatedly talking with Troy and Abed.
Ted clicked the door shut and leaned against it.
"Oh my god, that was insane!" He immediately began laughing almost uncontrollably, and Jeff was confused.
He approached Ted and said, "That was definitely insane. But look, I'm sure it will all blow over."
Wiping a tear from his eye, Ted said, "Oh, I know it will. Most people here are too drunk to remember much of it anyway. God, I can't believe both our wives got called out like that."
"Yeah, that wasn't pleasant."
Ted shook his head, and chuckled a little more before he plopped down in a chair and grabbed a bottle from the top of what seemed to be a liquor cabinet. He popped it open and motioned for something, and Jeff turned and grabbed two tumblers to his right and placed them on the table.
As he filled the glasses with an alarming amount of booze, Ted said, "Your wife seems like a sweetheart, so I'm sorry Alan was a jerk."
"Thanks." Jeff sat down opposite him and eyed his liquor warily.
They clinked glasses and Jeff sipped while Ted chugged.
"I'm sorry your wife had to put up with Larry."
"Oh that? Yeah, the bitch can take it. She's guilty as hell."
Jeff raised his brows, thrown off by the change in tone. He asked, "You knew?"
"Of course I did. I'm not an idiot. Why do you think I've been giving Mitchell such a rough time?"
Jeff grimaced as Alan let out another laugh.
"I mean I knew she was sleeping with someone, but it took me a little bit to figure out it was him."
Jeff nodded politely.
Ted continued, "She's still trying to get me back for cheating on her with Stacy. But look, we all have needs, right?"
"Stacy?"
"It was ten years ago. She was my secretary. No harm, she was into me. And then Ellen found out and," he held up his hole hand and said, "stabbed me right in the hand." He laughed manically.
"So that's how….?"
"Yup. I'm showing you a lot of faith, Jeff, in telling you the truth. I don't like to share that story, and now you know why. Ellen went to down with that thing, and well, since I was pinned to the table for awhile, they couldn't salvage the middle of my hand." He wiggled it around and stared through the hole, almost in awe.
More than a little disturbed by this information, Jeff cleared his throat and asked, "So you're going to fire Mitchell?"
"Oh, hell no! He's a great lawyer, which is also why I'm not actually firing Alan. You were right about that bastard. He's a damn fine and crafty guy, which is the only reason I keep him around. Trust me. The only reason."
"Okay, disregarding Alan for a moment, how can you even think about keeping Mitchell? He slept with your wife!"
"So? It's mostly the principle of the thing, and now he knows that I know. He'll put two and two together and figure out that I knew for awhile. It'll drive him nuts. I just want to see the guy twist, but see he makes a lot of money for me."
"So it's all about the money?"
"It's always about the money, Jeff."
X
Jeff returned to his friends a few minutes later, still shaken from his conversation with Ted. Once again he placed his arm around Annie, and he felt a rush of appreciation for her.
She smiled at him, and he turned his attentions to the conversation at hand, which appeared to consist of Wally Stone gushing about their unborn baby.
"You are glowing! Just glowing!"
"Why, thank you, Mr. Stone."
"You know what? Call me Wally! We're friends now! I'm actually a really fun guy! One might say I'm kind of nutty! I know, you at first were probably like, he's a really serious person with an intense job, but I have to act like that when I first meet people, because I never know if I'll have to examine them, but then, hey we talked and you're into forensics, and your friends are super nice," He smiled at Troy and Abed as Pierce sulked in the background, and said, "I have ideas for movies, too! I'm an artistic person! We should hang out every week!"
Jeff felt Annie's silent chuckle reverberate through her shoulders, and he leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"And you two are so inspiring! Why, I wish I could find love!"
At that moment, Mitchell approached and said, "Jeff, can we talk?"
"Not now, Mitchell. I think we're just about to go home. We can talk on Monday."
"Jeff, I know you met with Ted. Did he say anything about…?" Mitchell trailed off and raised an eyebrow.
With a sense of disgust, Jeff was about to tell him to go away when Ainsley approached and stood next to Mitchell, who shirked.
"So you did sleep with her?"
"Of course not! Larry's just mad at me."
"So you swear you didn't cheat on me?"
"Never." Mitchell held up a hand and glanced at the ceiling, Jeff assumed in some way to mimic swearing to a higher being.
At this, Ainsley exchanged looks with Annie and Penelope and then jutted out her chest. She stormed over to Wally and grabbed his jaw, planting a giant kiss onto his lips.
Everyone gasped.
"Ainsley! What the hell?!" Mitchell shouted as he watched the display.
After finally parting, Ainsley wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand and gave Mitchell a triumphant gaze.
With wobbly knees, Wally said, "Golly, that was crazy! I loved it!"
Ainsley turned toward him and asked, "Did you? So did I! Do you want babies?"
"You bet I do!"
"Let's go!"
She grabbed him by the arm, and they both practically ran out of the ballroom, giggling all the way.
x
Annie stared up at him with a bemused smile, and he rolled his eyes.
"I told you they're all pigs."
"I can't believe what Ted said to you!"
"I know, but you hell, that makes everything clearer. I need to get out of this place."
She nodded thoughtfully, and said, "Penelope told me Jimmy grabbed her ass after she came out of the ladies room."
Jeff closed his eyes and willed himself not to go on a punching spree. He felt Annie take one of his closed fists, and he muttered, "It's all so horrible."
When he opened his eyes, he saw her looking at him with kindness and understanding. She said, "You're so much better than this place. And so is Mark. I think you should quit now."
"Annie, we need the income, we…"
-"No, we don't. You were going to quit anyway in September. I can't stomach you going to work every day with these people. Do it now. We'll figure it out."
Vocalizing his fear for the first time, he gulped and said, "What if I don't pass the bar? I'll need time to retake it, and I could work here, and…."
She gave him a pointed look, and he caved.
"Crap. You're right. I need to get out of here."
They hugged and then they found Mark.
X
"So we're going to rip off the band aid?"
Mark nodded excitedly, swishing his drink around. Jeff was reassured that he was only on number three, as he had been attempting to keep his wits about him so that he could propose after the party. Jeff wondered if that was still the plan given the shitshow of tonight.
"We'll do this, Cash."
"We should make Penelope an offer then."
"What offer? We don't have clients."
They exchanged frustrated looks, and both sighed.
At that moment, Annie approached, with Penelope, Jenny, Troy and Abed trailing behind them.
"Penelope, tell them what you just told me."
Penelope sighed and said, "I'm putting in my notice tomorrow. I'm sorry guys, but I can't take it anymore."
Troy nodded emphatically behind her, and Jeff wondered what was up.
He asked, "You're quitting? Don't you need the money? I assume that's the only reason you stay."
She groaned, "It is, trust me. But I think my nana and I can get by a little. I've been trying to save."
"What about law school?"
She smiled slightly and said, "That'll just have to wait, and who was I kidding? I can't do that. I have to take care of my nana. But I can't take this environment anymore, it's killing me. Talking to Troy here, who is pursuing his love of dance despite all the heckling, helped me understand that sometimes you have to be true to yourself. You have to do what's right. So I'm going to look into other firms. Ideally, perhaps something smaller and hopefully less rapey. It might take me a little while to find something, but it'll be okay." She looked up with lifted shoulders, and it was clear she was resolved on the matter.
Jeff cast Abed a look, and he merely shrugged.
He turned back to Penelope, and after hearing Mark's squeak, smiled and said, "Penelope, good for you. And I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Mark and I are going to also give our notice, but we're doing it tonight. We're opening up our own firm. We already have the company formed, and we have office space in Riverside. What we don't yet have are clients, but you know we're crafty bastards and plan to beg borrow and steal them. We would be honored if you would agree to work with us. We can't really pay you right now, and we understand if you have to say no, but we'd really love it."
Penelope placed her hand on her chest and glanced back and forth between Jeff and Mark, tears forming in her eyes.
"Really? You're serious?"
"Yes. But there would be one condition."
"What is it?"
"You'd have to agree to go to law school. We don't want to just hire any paralegal. We need to have someone we can count on to take up some of the reigns as we grow. The firm of course would subsidize your schooling, again, the timeline would be a little iffy right now, but that would be the plan. We know we're a risk, but we hope you'll consider it."
Penelope wiped her eye and stared around the whole group, likely taking in the hopeful expressions on everyone's faces. She mumbled, "Oh my god, um…but my nana…"
Pierce, who had apparently been standing nearby and eavesdropping, stepped into the circle and said, "Jeffrey! Marcus! I, Pierce Hawthorne of Hawthorne Wipes, will proudly take my business to your firm! And I'm a whale!"
Having some mixed feelings but actually feeling overwhelmingly touched, Jeff squeezed Annie's hand and said, "You're sure, Pierce?"
"Absolutely. I can't hang out with these guys anymore. Even with the strippers."
Jeff nodded appreciatively at him and said, "Thanks, Pierce. So, Penelope, what do you say? I won't take a paycheck until we can pay you."
Now beaming, Penelope grabbed both Jeff and Mark into a hug and squealed, "Yes! A thousand times, yes!"
X
Jeff and Mark approached Ted, who was standing near the bar, dropping various coins through his hand as Ellen looked on with a scowl.
"You're an idiot, you know."
"Shut up, Ellen. You did this to me."
"Burn in hell."
"Go hump Mitchell. I hear his girlfriend dumped him."
"You know what? Maybe I will. He has full use of both his hands."
Ellen suddenly smiled sweetly at Jeff and Mark and murmured, "Oh, excuse me," and then stumbled off, drink in hand.
Jeff cleared his throat and said, "Ted, Mark and I have something we'd like to discuss with you."
Ted lifted his head with a drunken smile.
"You do? Well, come on over, and let's do some shots before the strippers get here! Oh, and make sure your ladies get home safely. I reserved a bunch of limos out front, and they're stocked with makeup and perfume samples, just to keep them happy." He winked.
Jeff and Mark tightened their smiles, and Jeff said, "That's just it, Ted, we wont be staying for the strippers."
"Oh, hell. Well, that's okay, I suppose it's kind of awkward to explain that to the missus the first year. But Christmas party for sure, right Winger?"
"Actually, even if I were here by then, I'd be pretty darn busy with my newborn."
"Oh, right. Wait. If?" Ted eyed them both with wariness, and Jeff bit the bullet.
"Yeah, we're giving our notice. Both Mark and I are quitting."
Mark nodded emphatically. "Yes, we are. We are quitting." He lifted his nose in righteousness and then gave Jeff a not so subtle thumbs up.
Ted gasped, "You're joking!"
"No, we aren't. Ted, it's become painfully obvious that we value different things. You want me to take over the less seedy clients, but see, I can't do that and actually be seedy. Which I think you think I'm pretending to have turned over a new leaf, but see what you don't get is that I'm not pretending. I really have changed. Greendale has changed me, and loving Annie has changed me. I'm not longer interested in strippers and getting wasted and backstabbing my colleagues. I want to practice law honorably and to actually help people. So, yes, I'm giving my notice."
Ted stared at him and let the last coin fall through the hole. He said, "I see. Well, that is disappointing. And hell, too bad you and you," he looked at Mark with disdain, "can't poach any clients. You have a strict non compete clause."
Mark said, "Oh, I don't plan on taking any clients. I know I can't do that."
At the implication, Ted shot Jeff a furious look and turned red.
X
They were high fiving themselves on the way back to the group, and Jeff caught Annie's prideful gaze and wanted to run over and scoop her up.
So he did.
"Jeff!" She giggled as he lifted her in his arms, and they began kissing furiously through their grins.
As he gently placed her back down, he said, "We're free!"
Penelope clapped excitedly and said, "I just emailed my supervisor, and I'm going to clean out my desk tomorrow!"
"Awesome. We'll show you the new digs on Monday."
"I can't wait!"
Pierce handed Penelope a check, and she scrunched up her nose, and Jeff reached over and took it from her, shoving it back at Pierce.
"Pierce! You don't pay her directly! We'll work something out."
"Right."
Jeff turned toward the whole group and said, "So we should all probably go. I don't think we'll be welcome here much longer, unless Ted is too wasted to coordinate our escorted exit."
They all nodded and started to shuffle off when Mark grabbed Jeff's arm and said, "Everyone! Please, wait! Just a minute!"
They all stared at him, and he glanced up at the ceiling.
The lights began to flicker, and Jeff knew that was the cue for the balloons to drop, something that happened every year at this time, and he instantly surmised Mark's plan. He grinned and pulled Annie back so that Mark could rush toward Jenny and go down on one knee and pull out the ring box.
"Jenny, will you marry me?"
The balloons came cascading down, and Jenny shrieked, "You goon! Yes!"
X
As they exited the hotel, Jeff heard the familiar voice.
"Cash! Wait a minute!"
Jeff turned to see a drunken Alan approach, and he protectively placed himself in front of Annie and was relieved that the rest of the group was right there to witness anything.
"What is it, Alan?"
Alan swayed a little and pointed toward him. He hissed, "I was the one who turned you into the state bar."
"I know. I never got the chance to thank you, buddy."
"What?!"
"My life is so much better now. Really, you should try it. Find your people, Alan. Stop drinking. Learn to know you don't have to be a despicable human being. I wish that for you."
"Fuck off."
Jeff shrugged. "At any rate, I bid you adieu, Alan. I just put in my notice. Mark and I are starting our own firm, and Penelope's coming to work for us."
Alan stared at him for several beats of silence.
"No way."
"Yes way."
"Do you have anything for me?"
x
They huddled up in the bed, Jeff groaning as he tried to get comfortable.
"Crap. Britta's mattress isn't as big as ours."
"Shhh." Annie placed her finger over his lips and then indicated with her head toward Sophie's sleeping form on the air mattress on the floor.
He could make out Annie's eyes in the darkened room, for a little bit of light was creaking in through the window.
"I don't know how you talked me into this."
"Well, we couldn't just let Troy and Abed go home to our baby and not see her, now could we?"
He reflected on Britta's understanding of the situation, and her willingness to let them have her bed for the night. She had camped out on the couch, and Ian had gone home, and it just seemed right that they stay over.
After the night's events he wanted to be with his family so bad. And he wanted to see Sophie's sweet little face first thing in the morning. He reached his hand over to the bump and gave it a kiss.
"Good night, baby."
It was then that he felt the movement, and he gasped.
"Did you feel them, Jeff?"
"Um, yeah, I think so."
He kept his hand still and waited, both him and Annie almost squeaking with excitement.
There was another push against his hand, not really a kick but more of a consistent movement, and it felt weird and amazing.
"I feel our baby."
"Aww, Jeff."
"They're real. Hi, baby."