Title: Our Last Days
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles
Author: Alwaysbringback-up
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)
Genre: Suspense/Friendship

Just Breathe

Pairing: Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

A/N: Here's the next chapter! I sincerely hope you enjoy it!

Flashback Jane's POV (Three weeks ago…)

Jane's unmarked cruiser screeched to a halt in front of headquarters. She chanced a glance at her watch, and cursed. She really hated inner city traffic sometimes. She also hated her alarm clock for not going off this particular morning. She'd jolted awake to the sunlight streaming across her face, and had abruptly rolled out of the wrong side of bed, as soon as she was cognitively aware of her tardiness. Things had seemingly been going wrong for her ever since. She'd immediately decided to forego a shower and scrambled over to her bureau to pull out an outfit for the day.

Jane glanced into her rearview mirror, checking for any sign of a tow-truck. She had a bad habit of getting her car impounded. But today, she didn't really have a choice. She'd have to leave the car, and go back for it. Jane was about to get out of the car, when her phone started buzzing. Jane clumsily fumbled for her phone and pulled it out of its clip on her belt. She let out a sigh as she noted the name of the caller on the display. It was Maura.

She still felt guilt over the way that she'd left things with Maura. Part of her wondered if it would really be such an awful thing for her to tell Maura how she felt, or if it would be as selfish as she imagined it would be.

Jane let out a growl and slammed her hands on the steering wheel as she felt a surge of frustration and anger at her own inability to make a decision. With a pang of regret, Jane silenced the phone, and climbed out of the car, slamming its car door behind her. At a jog, she hustled for the front door. Cavanaugh had called and said that he wanted to meet her in his office, and she was already late.

But when she reached her desk, she found someone unexpected waiting for her.

"Dean?" Jane greeted with surprise. "Hey! What are you doing here?"

"Hi," he greeted with a smile, "I was hoping that we could talk. Can I have a word?"

"Sure," Jane nodded as she slipped off her jacket and draped it over the back of her chair. She could feel Korsak's eyes on her and knew he'd be asking her questions about this later. Jane turned to head towards one of the empty interrogation rooms, but Dean redirected her with a gesture towards Cavanaugh's office.

"Cavanaugh said to use his office," Dean spoke softly. As if on cue, Cavanaugh's door opened and her Lieutenant ushered her and the federal agent inside before shutting the door behind them. Jane, suddenly feeling as if she were under intense scrutiny, plopped down in a chair and looked back and forth between the two men.

"Am I in some sort of trouble or something?" Jane asked nervously as she started wringing her hands.

"Uh, actually?" Dean cleared his throat. "I'm here to ask you for a favor."

"Oh?" Jane looked surprised. "What kind of favor?"

"Well," he swallowed, "I recently received a new assignment, and we're looking for someone to go undercover for the bureau, someone who is good under pressure. Due to the lack of females with adequate experience we had to widen our search a little."

"And so naturally you thought of me?" Jane joked, laughing nervously at her own joke.

"Actually," Dean looked a little sheepish. "I did think of you." He looked away, afraid that he was crossing a professional boundary. "You seem to be better at handling pressure and unforeseen complications better than anyone I know."

"Okay," Jane spoke slowly, drawing out the vowels. "What's the gig?"

"I need you to infiltrate a group that transports drugs and humans across the Mexican border," Dean spoke calmly. "Everything is in the file. I'll give you a chance to look over everything in detail before expecting some sort of commitment."

"And you're okay with this?" Jane asked as she turned to meet Cavanaugh's gaze.

"I'm not exactly thrilled about giving up my best detective for a gig with the feds," her captain replied honestly, "But if you're up for it, then we'll figure something out."

"This doesn't exactly have a start and end date, does it?" Jane asked. "So I can expect I'll have to give up my life for a while."

"You're correct in your assumption," Dean replied. "Depending on how well you do, you could be undercover for several months, maybe even a year." Jane swallowed and then stood, accepting the file from Dean.

"Okay," she spoke finally, "I'll give it a look over, and get back to you."

"Good," Dean smiled, "If you have any questions, feel free to give me a call." Jane nodded, tucked the folder under her arm, and walked out of the office, leaving the two men inside alone so that they could chat. When she slunk back into the chair behind her desk she could feel Korsak's eyes on her. She looked at him and yelled, "What?" at him rather loudly. That got him to speak what was on his mind.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing," Jane shrugged, "The FBI wants me to do some sort of undercover work for them. I told them I'd think about it."

"What kind of undercover work?" Korsak asked curiously.

"It's confidential," Jane replied.

"Hey," Vince looked hurt, "You should know that you can trust me by now."

Flashback Maura's POV (Three and a half weeks ago…)

"Unfortunately, that's all I got until we get the DNA results back," Maura swallowed nervously. "I told them to put a rush on it, but I'm still waiting."

"Alright," Jane nodded, "That mean we're done?"

"Actually," Maura looked apprehensive, "I was wondering if you wanted to stick around for a little bit and grab dinner with me after. The meeting shouldn't go long at all."

"I… I thought that you said you were having dinner with Frankie tonight," Jane replied.

"I did," Maura replied, "But Frankie was asked to cover someone's shift, so I'm free after all."

Jane looked at her watch. It was hard to be together with Maura in a public setting, due to the magnitude of restraint that was necessary to keep from touching her conspicuously, or saying something inappropriate.

"Tonight's not the best night, Maur," Jane replied. "I uh…. already kind of have plans tonight." Jane fidgeted with her hands. "I figured it wouldn't be a big deal since you were otherwise preoccupied. Sorry." Jane hated herself for hurting Maura.

"Oh," Jane winced at the look of obvious hurt on Maura's face. "Okay. Well… I guess that I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah," Jane tried to sound upbeat. "Sure." Jane swallowed thickly as she saw Maura look away. Sighing, Jane stood up quickly and wrapped her arms around the woman, murmuring into her hair. "I know what you're thinking, and it's not the case. Not even close."

"What am I supposed to think?" Maura whispered, "You'd rather spend time with someone else, than me."

"That's not true," Jane argued. "I asked you if you wanted to get dinner and you told me you were busy. What was I supposed to do? Sit on the couch all night by myself just hoping you'd call?"

"Fine," Maura said angrily, pulling away from Jane. She crossed her arms over her chest protectively, as if it would be enough to make it hurt less. Jane had been walking away from her more and more lately. And she had no idea why.

"Maur," Jane spoke the woman's name softly, pleading with the M.E. to see reason.

"We're done here," Maura choked out coldly as she turned away. "Have fun on your… whatever the hell it is." Jane let out a defeated sigh and headed for the door, slamming it shut behind her.

Jane was growing increasingly frustrated. She could never seem to do right by the medical examiner. For the next three days, they didn't speak. Jane wound up canceling her date anyways, since she knew it wasn't really what she wanted. The only reason she'd agreed, in the first place, had been to get her mother off her back.

Yes, I understand that every life must end, uh-huh
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, uh-huh
Oh I'm a lucky woman, to count on both hands the ones I love
Some folks just have one, yeah, others, they've got none

Stay with me...
Let's just breathe...

Maura was jarred back to the present by a squeeze of Frankie's hand. She shook her head quickly and she blinked a few times, silently wondering how much time had passed. Next her eyes darted to the clock; a breath escaped her lips as she realized the amount of time that had actually passed. It was nearly six hours, since Jane had been rushed into surgery.

"I don't know how much longer I can take this," Angela admitted softly, from Maura's other side. They were the first words the matron had spoken in nearly three hours. Maura gave the woman's hand a squeeze. She could feel the older woman's warm hand in hers as well.

She had to be strong for them. No matter how much that she hurt. No matter how daunting her fear, she had to hold it together.

"It shouldn't be much longer," Maura replied steadfastly. "They have to be careful. Trepanning, as it's called, involves drilling small-bore holes called 'burr' holes through the cranium to relieve intracranial pressure. It relieves pressure on the brain and allows it to resume functioning properly," Maura informed them.

"Maura," Frankie said quietly. "You keep saying that they just had to relieve the pressure in her cranium, but it's…it's been six hours."

"I know that six hours seems like an eternity," Maura said softly. "Believe me. I know. But it's no longer than I would expect it to take." She took a deep breath, and prayed that Angela and Frankie didn't notice how her hands were trembling. "I…I'm sure they would have let us know if there had been any complications," Maura said reassuringly. "Just try and be patient. Be strong for Jane."

As far as Maura was concerned, she wasn't aware that any time had gone by, but that was because she found herself revisiting countless moments, trying to discern when it was that things had changed. But she couldn't deny the truth of it. It had been six hours. And as much as she wanted to reassure Frankie and Angela, she knew that there were all sorts of things that could have gone wrong.

She felt numb. She was trying desperately not to feel the pain that seemed to be ripping her apart bit by bit. Her neck turned, and she saw Dr. Berman and the neurosurgeon walking towards them, their expressions indecipherable. Maura released her hold on Jane's family and stood. Angela and Frankie jumped to their feet as well.

Maura stopped breathing as she watched Dr. Nate Berman, twist his scrub cap in his hands, almost as if he were ringing it out. Maura had sounded sure a minute ago, but all of the sudden, she was overcome with fear. What if Jane hadn't made it? What if they hadn't been able to relieve the pressure in time and Jane was brain dead?

"Maura?" Frankie had suddenly noticed how Maura looked. What was the saying? Green? Maura could never remember. All she knew, is that she felt ill.

"Dr. Isles," Nate nodded to Maura giving her a sympathetic look, "Mrs. Rizzoli." Dr. Berman cleared his throat.

"What happened?" Maura asked quietly, though she wanted to scream. "Something went wrong didn't it?"

"I…er…Yes," Nate replied. "But we got her back. It took a little longer than usual, because we had to vacate a clot. But we were successful in reducing the pressure inside of Jane's skull." He sighed. "We really didn't want to have to open her up, given the fact that Jane is already quite ill and her ability to fight off anything has already been severely compromised. But…we didn't have a choice."

"And her brain activity?" Maura asked calmly, relieved that Jane was still alive.

"All EEG waves are normal," Dr. Berman smiled. "We think we were able to relieve the pressure before it could cause any long term damage to Jane's brain."

"Oh, thank god!" Angela burst out, before breaking out into relieved sobs. Maura expected that the matron had a lot of pent up emotions.

He cleared his throat, seemingly catching himself. "Of course, we won't know for sure, until Jane wakes up."

"When can I see her?" Maura asked softly.

"Well," he looked to the man next to him. "Jane is in recovery now. But as soon as she is moved back to her room, you should be able to see her."

"Thank you, Dr. Berman," Maura said gratefully. "And Dr. Snyder."

"You're welcome," they both offered in return.

Maura jumped slightly felt her phone buzz in her pocket. With agile fingers she pulled it out, and checked the display to find that it was the call she'd been waiting for.

"Excuse me," she said softly to Frankie and Angela. "I have to take this." Maura walked briskly from the room, sliding her finger over the screen to accept the call.

"Dr. Isles," Maura said in as confident a tone as she could muster given the circumstances.

"Maura?" the voice on the other end answered tentatively. "It's Hope. I'm returning your call. My assistant said that it was urgent."

"Yes," Maura replied. "I… I need your help."

"Maura, if this is some attempt to see me…"

"No!" Maura said emphatically, almost angrily. "I'm way beyond that at this point. In fact, I have no desire to see you whatsoever." Maura said honestly. "I gave Cailin my Kidney without asking so much as a single thing in return. And my pride almost prevented me from calling. But Jane needs help. I need help." Maura's voice cracked thickly as she continued. "Jane's dying. The love of my life is dying." Maura squeezed her eyes shut. "And I need help."

"Maura, what happened?" Hope asked, her concern sincere.

"Jane contracted a virus," Maura answered. "Many of its symptoms mimic that of the plague, but I've studied Jane's blood and it's different than that. It's almost too complicated to explain over the phone. But I need to find some way to stop the virus. I…I've sent you an email with all of the particulars. I was thinking that maybe if we could insert some sort of a fatal defect into its sequencing that it could act as a kill switch."

"How would that help Jane?" Hope asked.

"Well," Maura cleared her throat. "I was thinking back to a conversation I had with Jane about virus manipulation. Jane thought it evil, but I defended it, mainly because I thought about it in terms of curing cervical cancer through injecting someone's body with T-cells of the HPV virus."

"Maura…"

"Sorry," Maura laughed. "I'm getting sidetracked, I know. I'm getting to the point, I promise." Maura took a deep breath. "It's just that I was thinking. What if we removed T-cells of the virus from Jane's blood, and manipulated the RNA coding? We could insert a kill switch, and transfuse them back into Jane's body. The virus would replicate, but after a certain point, would die. And Jane's immune system might be mobilized against an already crippled virus. She might have a chance."

"It sounds like you have most of it figured out already, Maura," Hope replied. "So what do you need me for?"

"I…" Maura cleared her throat. "It's just that my confidence when it comes to manipulating RNA sequencing is sorely lacking. I'd feel a lot better if I had someone to help me. Someone brilliant. And…that's where you come in. We don't have much time." Then, Maura gave into her desperation. "Please, Hope. You know that I wouldn't ask you for anything, if I had any other choice, but I only get one shot at this." The silence that followed seemed to stretch on forever. "Please," Maura said thickly as tears brimmed in her eyes and her throat burned.

"Okay." Maura let out the breath she hadn't realized that she was holding. "Where do I need to go?"

-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I

Maura let out a sigh as she looked towards Jane's slumbering form, then back to the EEG, monitoring Jane's brainwaves. Maura only wished Jane would wake. She supposed that she couldn't believe that all was well until Jane woke up and she could see it for herself. She felt as if she couldn't just take Dr. Berman's word for it.

The news had been good, encouraging even. The swelling had gone down substantially, and the MRI and CT had showed that Jane's brain was still in good shape. From what Maura could tell, Jane's brainwaves were also normal, and that gave her reason for optimism. However, Maura had yet to see Jane's beautiful chocolate brown eyes. And as Maura sat crumpled in a chair next to her, her throat burned with every thought and regret that she knew she might never have the chance to address. She hadn't moved in countless hours, unless you counted a few trips to the bathroom only a few doors down the hall. Maura's hand clung onto Jane's tightly, exploring each line and texture of Jane's palm, including the puckers in the center of each palm. Maura's hands burned with the heat produced between them and she swore that he could feel Jane's pulse racing through her fingertips. She was dying slowly inside every minute that Jane refused to open her eyes for her. She wanted to kiss the woman so badly, and know that Jane could return it.

Her anxious eyes remained transfixed on Jane, as she watched Jane's eyes move beneath her eyelids. White bandages wrapped the periphery of Jane's head. With a pang of sadness, Maura wondered if they'd had to shave Jane's head, or if her wild raven locks had been spared. She busied her own thoughts over the hours with taking readouts from the massive number of tangled wires, monitoring Jane's heart and countless other vital organs that Jane needed to survive.

Maura jumped slightly as she heard a whoosh of air as the door between Jane's room and decontamination was pushed open. Maura turned around to see Jane's partner, Barold Frost.

"How is she?" the detective asked. He looked about as exhausted as she was. His eyes were bloodshot and his expression seemed to say a lot for his feelings. She knew that Frost and Korsak cared just as much as she did, but unfortunately, they had been kept away through the worst of it. And Maura couldn't imagine how that had felt.

"Peaceful," Maura replied without looking away from Jane. "Which is more than I can say for myself," Maura said with a broken voice.

"Maura," Frost spoke her name with a particular warmth to it, trying to sound comforting. "It's going to be all right. Jane, is strong. You said so yourself. You said that she had a lot of fight left in her."

"That was before all of this," Maura whispered as she gestured towards all of the wires leading to and from Jane's body.

"She might be getting worse," Frost admitted, "But the way I see it? Nothing has changed. Jane is still a fighter, and she won't give up without a fight."

"There's still no change," Maura whispered in frustration. "Why won't she wake up?"

"Look, I know it's hard to be optimistic in this case," he replied, trying to be the strong one, "but just try to be patient. Everything will happen in its own time. You'll see." Maura just nodded, her eyes drooping low over her eyes.

"Maura," Frost spoke in a tentative voice, afraid he might say something to upset Maura further, "From what Frankie has told me, you haven't moved from that chair in nearly 20 hours… Maybe. Maybe you should think about going to get something to eat. Or finding somewhere to lay down for a while." He watched her carefully as he spoke. "I think there's a lounge with a couch just a little ways down the hall."

"No," Maura replied gruffly as she ran her hand over her delicate porcelain features. "I'm fine here."

"Dr. Isles," Frost tried again, "No one's going to think you weak for taking a minute to clean up, or for getting a little bit of sleep."

"I said I'm fine! So will you just leave it alone? Please?" Maura spoke losing her patience. "I'm not leaving."

"Okay," Frost replied softly. "Okay," he sighed, resigning himself to defeat. It was time to try something else. "How about I run and get you some coffee? Would you like that?"

"That would be nice, Barry," Maura spoke graciously, "Thank you."

"No problem," he smiled, standing up, "I'll be right back." Maura watched Frost disappear from the room with detached interest. In seconds, her focus was back on Jane. She silently willed Jane to wake up.

Within minutes, Frost was walking back into the room with an oversized coffee and a brown bag. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to Maura.

Maura released Jane's hand in order to accept a coffee from Barry.

"I made it just the way you like," Barry said softly. He cleared his throat. "I also grabbed you a blueberry scone. I thought you might be hungry."

"Thank you," Maura said softly. "That's extremely kind of you." She offered him a warm smile as she took the bag, and set about opening it. She broke off a piece and lifted it to her mouth.

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing here," he said after a long moment of silence.

"I wasn't going to rush it," Maura said between bites. "I figured you would tell me eventually."

"Don't get me wrong. I really did come to check on Jane," Frost said softly. "But I figured you would want to know. We were able to identify those three women, based on missing person's reports. Jane was right. They were college students. We're still working out how they were recruited by Dr. Keaton, but we're getting closer to getting their families the answers that they deserve, thanks to you."

"What are their names?" Maura asked.

"Brianna Tate, Sophie Bosco, and Katy Hildeman," Frost listed off.

"How could Dr. Keaton do this?" Maura asked. "He took an oath!"

"You'll have to ask him that when we finally get our hands on him," Frost said.

"There's something you should know," Maura said. "We got some more results back. Dr. Parker didn't think to tell me about it right away, but I thought you should know. Two of the three girls had high levels of antibiotics present in their blood. We think they were given infusions of medications around the clock. It…It wasn't enough to save them, but someone still tried."

"Dr. Keaton?" Frost asked. "Why would he tried to save girls that he intentionally infected?"

"I know it seems strange," Maura replied thoughtfully, "But it fits right in with his hero complex. The man fancies himself a savior."

"How easy would it be to get your hands on intravenous antibiotics?" Frost asked.

"Depends on which outlets that you exhausted," Maura answered, "But I would say it would be fairly difficult." Then. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, it's hard to remember what started all of this, now isn't it? But it still started with a murder, and that murder still needs to be solved," he replied.

"You look like you have an idea about what might have happened," Maura stated.

"You wouldn't like it," Frost teased. "There are too many hypotheticals."

"Try me," Maura challenged with a mischievous smile.

"Keith Rumsfeld did time for drug distribution and manufacturing," Frost reminded her. "It made no sense that he would have a connection to a house where all sorts of different pathogens were stored." He paused. "But what if his involvement was more of the same. What if he was still dealing in drugs…just not the illegal kind?"

"He supplied the antibiotics!" Maura burst out excitedly. "I hate to admit this, but…it's entirely possible." Then her excitement subsided. There were still too many questions. "But then why was he killed?"

"Maybe he knew too much?" Frost said with a shrug. Frost opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a chiming of his cell phone. Maura watched him check its display.

"Shoot," he muttered. "I'm sorry, Maura, but I have to go." He gave her an apologetic look. "You going to be okay?" he asked before getting up from his chair.

"I'll let you know the answer to that question when she wakes up," Maura breathed before taking Jane's hand again.

Frost quickly departed, leaving Maura in silence once more.

Maura sat like this for several more hours. She was reading to Jane when alarms started going off around the room. Reflexively, Maura slammed the book shut and jumped up. She rushed over to the monitors. It was the heart monitor. Maura held her breath as she watched the numbers. Contrary to her fears, Jane wasn't coding. Maura watched as Jane's heart rate increased slowly, first from 50 beats per minute up to nearly 70 beats per minute. The numbers were getting higher. For a moment, Maura scarcely allowed herself to hope. But there was little doubt. Jane was coming out of her slumber. The brunette was waking up. Maura rushed back over to the bedside

"Jane," Maura couldn't keep the emotion out of her voice as she spoke the woman's name. She tenderly reached for Jane, brushing her fingertips in a soothing manner across Jane's cheek. Maura watched Jane's eyes. She could see the movement underneath. With one hand she reached down for Jane's hand and squeezed it.

Jane's eyes flickered open. Maura gasped, at the sudden beauty. Then she noticed the confusion. Jane had no idea where she was or why. Jane's eyes were unfocused as they stared at her. Her pupils were dilated.

Maura opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She tried again.

"Jane?" Maura couldn't stop several tears from escaping as Jane let out a moan. "Jane? Love? It's me. You're going to be okay." Jane's mouth worked as if Jane wanted to say something, but all attempts at speaking came out in a jumbled mess.

"M…Maur?" Jane's husky alto had Maura laughing and crying at the same time.

"Hey," Maura breathed softly. "Do you know where you are, Jane?"

"I think so," Jane replied. "Just gimmie a minute. My tongue feels like it's stuck to the roof of my mouth. That, and I'm pretty sure that someone stuffed cotton wool in my ears."

"Oh, thank god," Maura breathed, smiling at Jane. "Your sarcasm is in tact."

"Who says I'm being sarcastic?" Jane said with a look of trained seriousness on her face.

"Oh, sweetie," Maura whispered, "You have no idea how happy I am you're still here. I...I thought that I had lost you."

"Nonsense," Jane replied with a squeeze of Maura's hand. "You should know by now, it's going to be awfully difficult to get rid of me," Jane joked.

Jane was back.

A/N: So that's it for now! I made sure to end this chapter on a higher note than the last! I'm happy to say that we're getting closer to the end! Please review and let me know what your thoughts are!

Thanks for reading! You guys are truly the best! :)