"I'm battling monsters, I'm pulling you out of the burning buildings/ and you say I'll give you anything but you never come through."

― Richard Siken

—

Sirius and Peter were running late. This normally wouldn't have been too big a deal, but they were the ones providing the 10 bottles of firewhiskey for the party. They'd been putting off the trip down to Hogsmeade for a week now, not due to their own laziness or fear of getting caught, but the fact that James had been in a monumentally bad mood. Only the collection of everyone in the Common Room at once was enough to distract him from their absence. This trip was not only a great chance for Peter to get into Marlene's good books, but also for the both of them to get a nice slice of silence.

"How much of this do you think James will down within the first half hour?" Peter asked Sirius, as they both lugged their bags of suspiciously acquired firewhiskey and butterbeer down the long corridor.

"An inordinate amount," the boy replied with a terse laugh. "Hopefully it should cheer him up,"

"And how likely is that?" Peter asked.

"Dismally," Sirius said as he pulled out the invisibility cloak and beckoned Peter beneath it. He tapped the end of the wall with his wand and let them out into the corridor, where they were invisible to the lurking cat.

It only took ten minutes for them to shuffle to the Common Room. Peter was so much smaller than James, so they could actually move more easily without risking their ankles showing. Stuffing the cloak back into his pocket, the taller boy spoke the password to the portrait, which swung open and allowed them inside. Everyone was listening to music on the record player in the corner, and Marlene was dancing wildly with Adam. Sirius spotted her and walked over with Peter, handing her the bags with a wink.

"Thank you so much, guys!" she squealed, planting a kiss on both of their cheeks. Adam grinned and carried one of the heavy bags over to the corner, where a disillusionment charm had been placed over a table – so that if McGonagall were to come in at any point to tell them to shut up she wouldn't see the booze. It had been Lily's idea, to Sirius' surprise.

Sirius left Peter asking Marlene about her day and went over to James, who was sulking in the corner with Hugo. The boys were chatting about something, but James didn't look amused.

"Padfoot," he acknowledged and returned to his moodiness. "Where's the booze?"

"Under the table, mate," Sirius laughed and pointed James in the right direction. He stalked off and Sirius was left with Hugo.

Neither boy spoke, merely radiating dislike between each other until Lily skipped over. She was wearing a pretty blue dress and her hair was down in the way that Sirius liked it best – flowing around her pale and freckly shoulders. Her gaze went straight for Sirius, and didn't once flinch to acknowledge Hugo. Though he didn't have all the details about why her and James were fighting, it didn't take a genius to know Dagwood was something to do with it.

"Evans!" Sirius called out.

"How many school rules have you broken today?" she grinned, sipping on a cold butterbeer.

"About twelve," the boy admitted with a grin. Lily was a prefect, so she should probably be stopping the entire escapade, but her, Remus and Frank and the other prefects had all been sworn to mischief when Marlene promised that nothing would get out of hand. All of them had agreed (some more woefuly than others) not to go to McGonagall, and joined the festivities.

"I should report you to McGonagall," Lily pointed out, reading his mind. Sirius merely grinned a toothy grin.

"You're not going to," Sirius laughed.

"Nope," she agreed, taking a long sip from her drink. "Do you want to know why?"

"I was curious," Sirius admitted, noting the serious lines of her face.

"Because we're friends, and friends don't betray each other!" Lily laughed, shooting an unfittingly dark look at Hugo who flinched. "Anyway, I should go and find Mare," and she skipped off.

"Ah," Hugo said blankly.

"Ah?"

"You told her about that night," Hugo said – there was no menace in his voice, which annoyed Sirius even more. He played the good guy much too well.

"No – I didn't, James did," Sirius said pointedly, whilst watching his friend across the room chatting to a seventh year Sirius had never noticed before. She had dark hair, was smallish and had bright blue eyes. James; Sirius noticed, was flirting.

"Oh," the other boy said in realisation. "Is that why…"

"Lily's been ignoring him, and he's been in a foul mood all week? Yeah – pretty much," Sirius lied – he wasn't actually sure that was the reason, as (despite his constant moaning) his friend had been uncharacteristically quiet with te details.

"I should go and explain it to her," Hugo considered.

"I'm sure you could," Sirius said bitterly, staring at Lily and Mary dancing in the space someone had cleared of chairs and tables.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hugo questioned, glaring in turn at the boy who was ignoring him as much as possible. Sirius' calm exterior was obviously annoying him.

"Well, you've managed to convince James that you're totally innocent in the whole thing – and y'know, he's my best friend," Sirius said. Hugo shuffled beside him.

"There's nothing I could've done," he told the boy very sincerely through gritted teeth.

"That way of thinking will condemn us to hell," Sirius growled, finally making eye contact with the other boy. The pair of them stood like that – Sirius sizing up the slightly shorter boy, before a happy voice behind him called his name.

"Sirius, dance with me!" it was Lily. He turned and saw her stood there with a raised eyebrow but an unfaltering smile plastered on her face. Stealing one more angry look at Hugo, he nodded and grinned himself.

"Bye Hugo!" he waved heartily, and joined Lily on the makeshift dancefloor.

—

At some point in the evening someone had given James one too many firewhiskies, and his dancing was not on top form. Mona didn't seem to mind, though – she simply laughed at him and jigged away beside him, sipping her own drink. He thought she was very pretty – dark brown bangs, large blue eyes that twinkled in the right light, and she was wearing a cute little blue skirt with a black lacy top. There was not one thing about her that reminded him of anyone else. James Potter thought that Mona Fox really was quite fantastic.

Of course, most of his evening had been spent purposefully looking at her, and not looking away. She didn't seem to mind, as she chatted about her classes and her future as a journalist, and all of the things she admired about James. The boy decided that it was kind of nice having a girl who actually liked him for all of his crazy stuff for a change – rather than a girl who had to be coaxed into agreeing to a party, shouted at him for everything he did and constantly rejected and belittled him. Speaking of such girls, James hadn't looked at Lily all evening. Or at least – he hadn't looked at Lily when she'd been looking at him.

—

Lily had actually looked at James precisely seven times that evening, and it was around the sixth time she'd caught herself watching him chat up one of Alice's friends that she'd ditched the butterbeer and grabbed the half empty bottle of fire whiskey from Marlene's hand. It tasted horrible, but it burnt as it went down and that's exactly what Lily wanted. Marlene didn't seem to mind Lily's theivary, because she had suddenly disappeared from the room.

The whole crowd had dimmed down at about midnight, though, so Lily presumed that she'd just gone up to bed. Frank and Alice had run off for some alone time in an abandoned classroom long ago, Peter was passed out on the floor, Hugo had disappeared hours before, and Lily sat with Mary and Remus around the fireplace.

"Stop it, Lil," Mary said who was sobering up now. If Lily herself hadn't been on the slightly anebriated side herself, she might've noticed that Mary had actually barely had anything to drink all night.

"Stop what?"

"Staring," Lily's eyes moved from the figures of James Potter and Alice's friend Mona in a deep and mumbled conversation about his many holidays to France and returned to Mary.

"I'm not staring. Remus, tell her,"

"I'm going to go and see Sirius," Remus excused himself awkwardly, and walked over to sit beside Sirius in the portrait hole.

"Where's Emmeline?" Lily asked her friend. Mary turned to Lily with an incredulous look.

"Don't you remember? She was with Leo Weekes making out on Charlotte's bed? Then Charlotte threw him out? He was shirtless? There was a lot of shouting?" Mary continued, trying to find any sign of recognition from Lily. "You've been really zoned out all evening,"

"I have not!" Lily exclaimed defensively. James heard it and his eyes flickered over and caught hers. Lily pulled her gaze away at once.

"Name one thing other than James Potter that you have paid attention to this entire evening," Mary demanded, to which Lily stuttered. "Talking of – don't look at him," but naturally the girl's eyes flew to the corner in which James had just been looking at her. Now his face was all obstructed by that of Mona Fox. "Oh Lily! I said not to look!" Mary said sympathetically.

"PRONGS!" Sirius shouted loudly. Lily jumped with recognition of the name, as did James. His head dashed towards Sirius who was storming towards the boy, dragged him off of the girl and pulled him aside. "What do you think you're doing?" he whispered very loudly.

"Having fun, like you told me to do," James slurred angrily. Lily didn't think she'd ever seen him this drunk.

"You're pissed and I hope to the Chamber of Secrets that you regret this in the morning," Sirius growled, his eyes catching Lily's.

"Why would… why would I regret that?" the drunk boy smiled.

"Because you might be fighting with Lily at the moment but snogging some random seventh year isn't going to make her any less mad at you," Sirius hissed. Lily felt herself going red, made even worse as Mona Fox looked over to her questioningly. Had the girl been as drunk as her make-out buddy then Lily might've been able to stand it, but her inquisitive eyes made Lily squirm.

"Padfoot, I… Mona has horses," James giggled. "Four of them,"

"I'm taking you to bed," Sirius said angrily. Pulling on James' arm, he tugged the boy to the stairwell, but not before Lily heard him say:

"Well I was rather hoping to have company,"

Lily felt her stomach churn as if she wanted to be sick, and she wasn't sure that it was the firewhiskey. Mary put her arm around her, and she didn't have the energy to shrug her off, so she leaned into the hug. Even Remus (who had mostly stayed out of emotional trauma since he had experienced his own) came and sat by her as she did her best not to vomit into the fire. There were a few seconds of silence before Lily heard a revolted scream.

"OH MY GOD THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Sirius screamed. They heard quick footsteps and Sirius emerged from his dormitory looking both amused and disturbed.

"Padfoot, what's up?" Remus asked with concern. Sirius had wide eyes and burst out laughing.

"McKinnon…." he laughed.

"SIRIUS BLACK SHUT UP!" Marlene yelled from the top of the stairs. "Why is James unconscious?" she questioned loudly and followed Sirius' steps down the stairs. "SHUT UP!" Lily looked up to see Marlene wearing one of Adam's band t-shirts, and little else. Luckily it was very big on her. Mary was in hysterics next to her.

"Marlene…" she laughed. "You and Adam?" Even Lily laughed along, as Marlene blushed redder and redder. Adam appeared behind her, looking just as red as Marlene, wearing only a bed sheet around his waist.

"I am going to bed. Do not mention this to me until I have drunk at least five cups of coffee," Marlene groaned as she turned and stormed back to Adam's dorm. This seemed like a turn of unexpected events for him, as his face light up and he followed her in,

"At least drag Potter into his bed!" Sirius shouted at the door.

Mona Fox had skunked back to her own room during the commotion, and so it was just the sixth years who were crowded around laughing at the previously unfolded events.

"Who saw that coming?" Mary laughed.

"Me – Potter owes me five galleons," Sirius said. "Remind me about that in the morning will you Remus?"

"Poor Marlene," Lily sighed. "That must've been embarrassing,"

"For her? Imagine what it was like for me?" Sirius exclaimed. "My eyes…"

"Have been corrupt for a very long time," Remus joked. Everyone laughed and fell back sleepily.

Lily and Mary made their way up to bed, with the latter stroking the prefects' arm and telling her that hopefully she wouldn't remember this in the morning. Lily simply nodded in agreement and let her friend lead her into her bed and tuck her in. Marlene's snores were absent from the room, though drunk Emmeline more than made up for it.

When she slept she dreamt that she was lying in the middle of the Quidditch pitch. When she sat up she saw Hugo and Sirius, both wearing suits of armour from the medieval age – they were fighting. The sounds of swords clashing loudly filled her ears. Neither boy wore a helmet, though the blonde boy seemed to be winning the fight. The more Sirius fought the more exhausted he got. Lily rushed forwards and dashed between their swords. In the heat of the moment both knights jumped back and dropped their swords as they themselves fell into a bow. Lily went to talk but a hand appeared over her mouth.

She was being strangled – she thought quickly and wriggled free of the grip – when she turned freely she saw the king. A golden crown sat atop a head of messy black hair and he himself was adorned in a thick red cape and golden robes. The king went to open his mouth but as he did so to talk a trickle of red streamed from the corner of his delicate lips. When Lily looked down she saw a green tinted sword sticking out of the stained golden robes. Her own hand twitched from the hilt of the blade.

—

James woke with a start. His head was pounding and his heart doing the same thing at double the speed. Quickly his hand moved to his stomach, to find that it was not stained with the blood of a bad dream, but wearing the same clothes he had donned the night before, and clean of blood. Groaning, James pulled himself from his bed and looked around the dorm – luckily someone had had the foresight of closing the curtains, because he had a terrible headache and the light from the day would've stung even more. Sirius was sprawled on his bed, Peter his, Remus his, Hugo was lying neatly on one side of his double bed, and Adam McKinnon had a figure draped around him.

Okay – granted that last one was a bit odd, but there had been a party – a lot of stuff had happened. Probably. Racking his brain for any hint of something he should regret James groaned again – he needed some Earl Grey. He felt like he'd been under a confundus charm all night, and could barely remember a thing. Thinking it best to change into a fresh pair of jeans and his red shirt, James went into the bathroom to splash his face with water. His hair was a mess – even more so than normal. He wetted that too, in some form of attempt to calm it, and went back into the dormitory. Everyone was still sleeping, other than a girl who was holding her head as she sat up in Adam's bed.

"Hey Marley," James laughed assumingly.

"Shut up, Potter," she groaned. "You er… think anyone will remember this?"

"Who knows," he guessed as he pulled on a pair of socks and his slippers. "You should probably go if you don't want them to,"

"You're right – Merlin, I smell gross," she grunted as she searched around for her clothes. James found her lacy shirt at the foot of his bed and threw it at her. "Thanks,"

"That'll be the sex smell," James laughed. "Or the vomit – or the sweat – heck it could just be McKinnon's musky scent,"

"Oh God! Asher! He's going to find out!" Marlene shrieked. "Sirius saw!"

"I'm assuming that you're feeling repulsed?" James questioned as he turned away so she could pull on her own clothes. "Don't worry about it – you and McKinnon are… well you work,"

"Except for the fact that he has Vienna and I have Asher!" Marlene hissed.

"Nah, you're only with them because you're denying yourselves happiness," James informed her wisely. Maybe he was still a little drunk.

"What? Like you and Lily?" James' heart thudded at the sound of her name.

"No, not like that at all. Lily and I are… we're always fighting. We don't particularly make sense,"

"You only fight because for almost six years the pair of you have been… I don't know – you've been something special for each other. The fighting hides the fact that maybe if you stopped fighting you'd work out. Neither of you wants to let go of the possibility that you'd actually be perfect,"

"Hangover wisdom coming from the dirty little stop out?" James laughed quietly. Behind him Marlene flinched as she shimmied into her skirt.

"I wouldn't be so quick to judge my drunken actions, Potter," Marlene chuckled. James jumped.

"What did I do?" he demanded.

"I'm not sure on the details – all I know is that Sirius came in last night shouting at you about the fact that there are some things Lily could forgive, and some she probably couldn't,"

"Fuck," James swore. "Fuckity fuck fuck,"

"Yeah – so shut up," Marlene sassed. James dropped his head into his hands for the millionth time that morning. In the bed beside him Sirius stirred. Marlene jumped up and headed out the door. "Nice talking, Potter,"

"You too," he sighed and slowly followed her out of the room.

Marlene had obviously taken the walk of shame back to her own dorm very quickly, but James' destination was the Great Hall. The Common Room was a mess, and had he more energy he'd have cleaned it up with magic, but as it was all he really wanted to do was have a teapot full of steaming tea and question Sirius about what the hell he had done last night.

Unsurprisingly there were very few Gryffindors at breakfast that morning (especially above the age of 15), and so James sat alone, sipping slowly on his hot beverage and hoping to Merlin that it stayed down. As he waited patiently for Sirius, James found it very surprising that it was Alice Griffiths who sought him out, rather than his best friend. She had a very angry look in her eyes.

"James Potter!" he hissed loudly at him. Many people turned their heads to see the cause of the commotion. "What have you bloody well gone and done?"

"I don't… know?" he asked, gripping his ears and wishing that she'd shut up.

"Well I do!" she continued in ever increasing volumes.

"Then why did you ask me?" he moaned, attempting to work out her logic. Why was Alice mad? Had he kissed Frank?

"Because I want you to know that you've done a bad thing," she hissed sternly, deciding to take a seat and help herself to some jam on toast.

"Will you tell me what the bad thing is?" he asked her innocently. She considered him.

"No, I shan't! I'm going to make you find out for yourself and live with the consequences of being a borderline delinquent!" she informed him, but she hadn't dropped her volume and his head really was pounding. He poured himself another mug of tea.

"Alice, please stop shouting," he implored of her, but it apparently seemed to be the wrong thing to say, because her reply was doubled in anger and loudness. People on the Hufflepuff table were staring.

"No! I shan't!"

"Honestly, Alice – I admire your alertness this morning, but I do not share it, and really want to find out what the heck I did that was so bad," James begged the seventh year. Her eyes thinned as she surveyed him.

"I won't say," though she had thankfully stopped shouting.

"Did I kiss Lily?" James questioned – it seemed like the most likely occurrence, even though he spent his entire night (or that of which he could remember) trying to avoid her.

"Why would that be bad?" Alice chastised. James shrugged, unsure. Things with Lily were so complicated. Every time he thought about her he felt as lost and confused as he did right then.

"Did I…" he asked, giving her a weird eyebrow movement as if to hint at something that he couldn't say.

"No you did not do that you sicko!" the girl shouted, hitting him across the head. He groaned and took another gulp of tea.

"Then what…?" he questioned, but was cut off from another shouting person at the end of the hall.

"Potter!" it was Sirius. He was rushing towards the pair of them looking menacing. "What are you doing?"

"Talking to Alice?" James replied questioningly. What else would he be doing?

"I assume this is about last night?" Sirius demanded, looming over them both. He was tall normally – with them both sat it was an intimidating sight.

"Wait… me and Alice?" James moaned eyes wide.

"Don't be vile," she spat in reply. James returned to his confusion.

"He doesn't remember?" Sirius deducted, looking at his best friend but talking to Alice.

"Nope," Alice said with humour. Sirius sat on James' other side.

"This is hilarious," he pointed out, as James sipped his third cup of Earl Grey.

"I know – I've been torturing him," Alice laughed.

"Will someone just tell me? Have I upset Lily?" asked James. Sirius and Alice exchanged looks that said 'okay, this isn't funny anymore'.

"Yes," a fourth voice said as it sat beside Alice. Emmeline was glaring at James and Sirius. "As a matter of fact you have,"

"And what did I do?" James asked again – maybe Emmeline would give him a straight answer?

"Mr Potter," a small voice squeaked from Sirius' back. James turned to see a second year Gryffindor stood, shuffling from one foot to the other. "What time do the try outs start?"

"Try outs?"

"The sign says that it's today – Saturday?" the boy piped. He had sandy blonde hair and a slight build.

"Oh Merlin!" Sirius exclaimed. "That is today isn't it?"

"Great!" James exclaimed quietly, wanting to do anything but deal with tryouts. Then again, he thought, maybe the fresh air would help clear his mind. "How about 11?"

"Fantastic," the second year grinned. "See you there," he said and ran off.

"Bloody hell," sighed the Quidditch captain. "I'd forgotten about that,"

"Bad planning on your part, Prongs," Sirius said pointedly. James merely grunted in reply.

—

By eleven o'clock James, Sirius, the rest of the existing Quidditch team and the hopefuls all congregated on the Quidditch pitch, carrying their brooms and thanking Merlin for the brilliant weather conditions. Holding his flask of tea, James cursed that Sirius still hadn't told him about last night, but luckily the atrocity of some of the people trying out took his mind quickly off it. They were in need of one chaser, a beater and a seeker. Sirius took charge of finding the beater, and took all those interested in the post to one end of the pitch where he resumed to throwing bludgers unexpectedly at their faces. There was only one broken nose, which James was actually quite impressed with.

James' job was to find a chaser who would work well with him and Marlene. A third year called Louis Bronx caught his attention. Having the nimble build of a caser he managed to dodge the opposing chasers and beaters, eventually scoring 4/5 goals. James called the whistle and declared Bronx as the new chaser, and Sirius named Robyn Green as the beater. The girl was a dark haired fourth year, with a wild smile and apparently an arm stronger than their last beater Richard Hardy.

Finally, they all gathered together to try for a seeker. James was up on his broom armed with golf balls, and one by one the nervous second and third years mounted their own brooms and joined him in the sky. The first try out was Leslie Miller, who caught a staggering 1 out of 10 golf balls. The second student hadn't even gotten his name out before falling off his broom and smashing into the ground below. When the third and final student, a third year called Ben Jorkins caught 3 of the 10 golf balls, James was about ready to call off Quidditch all together.

—

Lily was running late – she'd slept in with bad dreams and then grabbed a hurried breakfast, before sprinting down to the Quidditch pitch. Terrified, she grabbed a broom from the open store cupboard and headed over to the group of miserable looking Gryffindors. Sirius was talking to James in hushed voices aside from the main hustle of the group, but he span as soon as he saw Lily. A grin plastered across his face, he walked away from the Captain and met her with a hug.

"You're trying out?" he asked her slyly.

"I know I'm late, but… it was you two who told me to try out last year," Lily said, "And Dumbledore,"

"Well – this lot are useless as seekers, so you've got a good chance as long as you don't fall off your broom," Sirius explained as James joined by his side. He gave Lily a guilty smile, and her stomach squirmed. She smiled uncomfortably back. Maybe she was making a big mistake?

"Evans, let's see what you can do," James grinned and pulled out a bag of golf balls from his pocket. "Get on your broom," he instructed. Lily nodded and mounted the comet 15 as James had taught her to do last year. She gripped the handle and pushed off with her legs. Suddenly she was lifting off the ground, and the normal feeling of ease from being safely on two feet fell away like the ground. James joined her in the air. When they had soared around the pitch for a minute or two James started throwing golf balls as far as possible. She missed the first one, too distracted by the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach to realise that he'd started throwing them, but once her attentions were on the game, so dove for each one. Speeding the awful broom forwards, she caught the tiny balls in her hand, some of them only barely, but she caught them none the less. She would throw them back to James who would grin proudly at her and throw another, more difficult catch for her.

Being up there in the sky, it was easy to see why James loved it so much. She felt like nothing else in the world existed.

At the end of the trial, James beckoned her to the ground, and she landed beside him. Sirius rushed forwards happily pulling her in to a hug.

"Right, Evans - you're on the team," James said with a warm grin.

"Yes! That's my girl," Sirius cheered. Lily was happy too, but she could hardly look away from James. Why was he being like this? One moment he was the James Potter who sought her out when she was crying and would do anything to cheer her up, and the next minute it was like he didn't know who she was. There had always been the sense of two James' - the toerag and the kind boy, but at least back then he knew. Staring at him right then, Lily got the distinct feeling that he had no idea how he had hurt her.

"What?" shrieked Ben Jorkins. "That's nepotism, that is,"

"That word doesn't mean what you think it does," Sirius informed them.

The team disbanded, heading up to the showers and changing rooms. Lily waited with the rest of the sixth years as James locked the brooms and balls away in the quidditch shed, and then they too took to the showers.

Marlene was half way through telling Lily how proud she was of her when James called out her name.

"Lily, can I… talk to you for a second?" he called as she was almost out the door. Lily shot Marlene a shrug and fell back, allowing the rest of the team out of the door to head up to the Great Hall. James smiled shyly.

"Captain," she said ironically.

"Lily, I… about last night…" he started. Lily looked at him expectantly. "What… happened?"

"You don't remember?" she sighed sadly. "You honestly… don't remember?"

"No one will tell me. Sirius says it's something I have to talk to you about," James informed her. Lily fell onto one of the seats, with her head in her hands.

"I'm not really sure it's me you should be talking to," she muttered. James sat opposite her, his eyes trained on her ponytail.

"Please tell me? I can't stop thinking about the things I might've…"

"Do you remember who you were… chatting with yesterday," Lily asked. Personally she would've changed the word chatting for flirting, but she didn't think James would take too kindly to it.

"Erm… oh god… M… Mona?" he stuttered, raking his memory for her name. His eyes widened and he stared at Lily. "I didn't…"

"You snogged her, yes," Lily said harshly. James recoiled.

"Oh Merlin, Lily – I'm so sorry," he pleaded. "I am so sorry! You didn't…"

"See it? Oh yeah," she admitted.

"Oh Lily!" he cried. "I'm… there's nothing I can say to make you forgive me. I'm so sorry,"

"Why should you be sorry? What's it to me?" Lily forced herself to look at him blankly.

"I thought…" he stuttered, but she cut him off.

"Wrong – you thought wrong,"

"Are you kidding me?" he spluttered, half laughing half shouting. "Are you kidding me? What about us?"

"Honestly James, you didn't seem to concerned with that yesterday. In fact, you seemed to get along with her just fine. Why should I stand in the way of that?" Lily asked, begging for him to say it. Needing to hear the words come out of his mouth so that she didn't feel so alone in what her heart was screaming at her.

"Because I…" he started, but she realised – she couldn't hear it. She couldn't listen to something which he could so easily revoke with Bridget Dagwood or Mona Fox or any one of the other girls lining up to have a piece of James Potter. She realised that to him she was merely default territory, and that as soon as something better came along he'd be off like a shot. That was their routine, and she was sick of it.

"No," she said.

"You didn't even know what I was going to say," James exclaimed angrily, standing up and storming to the other side of the room.

"Probably something stupid that would make both of us hate you," she replied pointedly.

"I was actually going to say that I am hungry," he lied, glaring at her.

"And that's the reason I should stand in the way of you and Mona?" she sassed.

"There is no me and Mona!" he yelled at her, true anger present as though to make her believe the truth. Lily looked at him.

"Maybe there should be,"

"What?" he questioned, reading her blank expression. "You don't mean that,"

"Maybe it's for the best that we stop acting like one day we're going to calm down and not want to kick each other," Lily implored, wishing for him to both agree and call her stupid. She didn't know what she needed of James in that moment, because no matter what she did need it was never what he did.

"I'd never want to hurt you," he whispered.

"And yet you do it so fluently," she replied sadly. James looked into her eyes and she looked back. In that moment both of them almost believed that this was for the best. Almost.

"So that's it then?" he asked of her. She nodded.

"I guess," she replied.

"Well… congratulations on becoming seeker," he said and smiled. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't follow me," he said as he walked out of the changing rooms.

—

Mary was sat in the Common Room when Mona Fox approached her. She had been reading a Divination text book indicating the subtle differences between palmistry and insanity when she heard a voice calling her name. She looked up and saw Mona Fox (no longer wearing the seductive clothing of the night before) standing over her.

"Mary, can I chat to you?" the girl asked. Mary nodded, though she'd only ever spoken to Mona once before and that had been about their matching ginger hair back in fourth year. Mona settled into the seat next to Mary and gave her a small thanks.

"Is this about James?" Mary suspected. Mona nodded.

"I'm afraid so," she laughed. "Ew, I never wanted to be one of those girls," she sighed.

"What girls?" Mary asked, unsure what she meant.

"The one going to the 'other girl's' friends for advice," Mary didn't like how she referred to Lily as the other girl, seeing as she and James had been on and off fancying each other for years and she had only just come into the equation.

"Oh," was all she said.

"Yeah – I mean… I like James and he's really cool, and so hot," Mona rambled. Mary wanted to hit her.

"Obviously,"

"This is hard for me. So… I don't mean to… intrude… but what is going on between James and Lily?" Mona finally asked. Mary sighed a shaky laugh and looked incredulously at the seventh year.

"I don't know – they don't know. No one knows," was the most honest answer Mary could give. It was true, the pair had been kissing each other and then avoiding each other for the best part of a year.

"Helpful," Mona sighed, evidently annoyed by Mary's lack of information.

"Sorry, I guess I'm kind of sour because last night I had to listen to my best friend crying herself to sleep because of you, and now you're asking my advice on how to bag Potter," Mary said more sassily than her intentions. She laughed – she hadn't said something so harsh since fourth year.

"I don't want to do anything that might upset her," Mona said sincerely.

"Then leave him alone," Mary advised just as the devil angrily stormed in.

"Hey Mona, can I have a word?" he asked, totally ignoring Mary's presence and not sounding happy in the slightest.

"James…" Mona started with a smile.

"Potter," Mary growled. Mona shot Mary an asking look, almost a plead for permission to talk to James. "Go, do whatever you want," she sighed and returned to her book. Against common belief palmistry is a real thing…

—

"James," Mona said again with a smile.

"Mona," he greeted, though still reeling from his conversation with Lily. "Do you er… want to go to Hogsmeade with me?"

"What?" she gasped. "You don't just have to ask me out because we kissed,"

"I know – trust me," James muttered unintelligibly. If kissing equated a relationship, he wouldn't be in half the messes he was right now. Mona raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Right… what about Lily Evans?" she asked him. His face stayed calm, with only a slight twitch at her name, but inside his brain was screaming at him. Managing to quiet, the voices he simply smiled.

"There's nothing going on between Evans and myself," the boy assured her.

"Does she know that?" Mona questioned further – James thought she was quite the investigator. She was asking all the right questions, and had he been in a better frame of mind at that point he might've congratulated her on her sharpness. As it was, Lily had actually told him to go out with Mona, so he was pretty sure that she knew they weren't together.

"Ver much so," James mumbled angrily. "So what about Hogsmeade?"

"Well… sure – sounds like fun!" Mona flashed him a smile. She was a lot shorter than James himself, standing at about 5' 5, with a bob of hair almost as dark as his own, and bright blue eyes. It had been the eyes that had drawn James to her at the party last night. He liked eyes, and hers were truly magical, with layer upon layer of different blues and specs of silver. As she grinned at him her eyes glistened, and for a second it was reason enough for him to forget his troubles.

—

Lily heard about the Potter/Fox date from Frank, who had broken his apparently sworn secrecy by letting slip about the entire thing. Alice went crazy at him, shouting that he should appreciate Lily's feelings, but the sixth year just smiled back and returned to the very thick Defence book that she was slowly making her way through during the lunch hours and evenings she spent huddled in the library. It wasn't that the library was a particularly fun destination – it was that the library was one of the only places (including the girl's bathrooms) in which she wasn't likely to bump into a messy haired animagi. Of course, her avoiding of him only went so far, until they were out on the Quidditch pitch.

Quidditch training had been fierce since try outs. James really was as ruthless a captain as Marlene had been complaining about throughout the last year. Their training started with laps around the Quidditch pitch for fitness (Lily fell way behind at first, but soon got into the swing of things), then they would mount their brooms and practise skills and formations, until they ended in a 3x3 match with James as the referee. Remembering that Dumbledore had once played Quidditch, Lily caught herself giggling one practise, as she waited to catch a glimpse of the snitch.

"Evans! Do you think that giggling at the Slytherin team will catch you the snitch?" James yelled through the wind and rain. Lily stopped dead; it was the first time he had acknowledged her singularly in weeks. Normally he just referred to her as the seeker or "you".

"I don't know Potter, maybe it's a confusion tactic," she shouted back, surprised that her voice carried so well this high up.

"Yeah, that'll work! Just fly towards Regulus Black and laugh in his face whilst he beats you to the snitch!" James replied angrily, swooping over the rest of the team until he came face to face with Lily. "Stick to the game plan and keep your eyes on the ball!"

"Don't worry, Captain, I'll be gone after the next match," Lily told him, quieter now so that he alone could hear it. His face dropped into a mask of confusion.

"What?" he asked her, still yelling.

"What's she saying?" Sirius shouted to Marlene. The blonde shrugged and they both flew in closer to hear what was being said.

"I'm quitting after this match," Lily repeated loudly to James. Confusion turned to rage in a matter of seconds.

"You can't just quit!" he shouted at her. By this point half of the Gryffindor Quidditch team were crowding around them both to overhear the conversation.

"Sure I can," Lily said calmly, her eyes searching the pitch for the golden pair of wings.

"No! You can't. You're fired after this match," he informed her loudly. Lily glared at him with incredulous eyes.

"I already quit, it doesn't count," she yelled, but James shouted louder.

"Yes it does, because you're fired… after this match," Sirius and Marlene exchanged glances.

"Fine James, think what you want," Lily sighed, and attempted to fly away to find the snitch. As far as she was concerned, practice was still on. James followed her, faster.

"I will!" he yelled, angrier than the situation deserved. Lily soared dangerously through the air, cursing the speed of his Nimbus.

"You always do," she muttered, not meaning for him to hear. He should've been meters away by now, but his faster broom meant he was right beside her.

"What?" he questioned her softly. The question was unnecessary – he knew what she meant as much as she did. He was just giving her a chance to lie. Before she could even do that she saw a glittering gold wing in the corner of her eye. Dashing after it, urging her broom forwards as her instincts and James had taught her to do; she raced the tiny snitch in one loop around the pitch. James was on her heel, following her as she followed the ball. "EVANS!" he yelled after her, but she wasn't listening. She was zoned in on the snitch. Holding her arm out she went to close the gap.

James put himself between her and the snitch, and she watched as it flew off and disappeared into the rainy sky. Her hair was dripping wet, with drops of rain and sweat rolling down her temples. The boy looked untouched; he really was made to play Quidditch. But as unphased by the elements as he was, his eyes were anything but fine.

"What did you mean?" he begged of her. The rest of the team had dispersed in the chase, and had excused themselves from practise.

"You know what I meant," Lily sighed, too tired to argue anymore.

"I'm going out with Mona," he told her needlessly.

"I know," she admitted, sadly for the first time. To Frank, Alice, Marlene, Mary and the rest of the curious Hogwarts population, Lily had insisted that she was fine – that Mona and James made sense as a couple. The worst part about this lie was that it was partially true – they really did make sense. She was pretty, smart, funny, mischievous, nice. In fact – Mona Fox could give James Potter a run for his money.

"I'm not going to not go out with Mona just because you ask me to," he told her sternly, almost as though he was telling himself. The rain was thick now, like a disgusting cloud of badly used pathetic fallacy. "You made your choice,"

"No – you made yours," Lily informed him – distantly glad that he was finally growing up, though sad that it wasn't for her.

"Yes I did. I made the choice that might make me happy. You don't make me happy, Lily. You make me so miserable" James said, but he didn't look happy.

"Right then, thanks," she laughed sourly.

"Don't quit the team just because of this," he begged of her. His eyes were wide despite the wind and the downpour. This time Lily laughed for real.

"I'm not quite that pathetic, Potter. I only ever wanted to play one match," she informed him. It had been he, Sirius and Dumbledore himself to convince Lily that everyone should play at least one Quidditch match in their time. Despite the agony of seeing James, and Marlene's recent mood swings, she had actually been enjoying training, but she had no idea how any of them got any work done. She needed to focus on her studies.

"Right, okay," he agreed, nodding. He went to smile, but it turned to an ugly grimace half way through. He opened his mouth to talk. "It's funny – I always thought that despite everything there might be a chance for us,"

"Funny – so did I," Lily admitted, for perhaps the first time. James' face fell into an unreadable mask, both questioning and unmatched sorrow. His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish struggling for oxygen, until he pulled the only rational thought he owned from his head.

"Oh. Well… you need to work on your diving,"

"Yeah – I'm a bit shaky at that," smiled Lily – concealing a sadness that she never wanted James to know existed.

When they reached the ground and headed to the showers, James was shouting at the team about not excusing themselves from a training session, when Sirius informed him that Marlene had started throwing up in mid-air and it hadn't been a pretty sight. The third year chaser Louis Bronx looked miserable as he towelled his hair off. Marlene had obviously been aiming. Ignoring James, Lily rushed over to Marlene, putting her hand on her friend's back and rubbing it as she groaned.

"You okay, Marley?" Lily questioned soothingly. Marlene mumbled.

"No,"

"We need to get you to Healer Holloway," Lily fussed, glad for the excuse to leave but wishing that she could have had a chance to change out of her things first. She'd use the prefects bathroom later, but Filch would skin her alive if she left any muddy residue on the floors.

"She's been refusing to go for ten minutes," Robyn Green informed Lily. The fourth year didn't seem to really like Lily, and the she thought that it might have something to do with the rumoured James Potter shrine the girl apparently kept under her bed. Whether she hated Lily because James did, or because James didn't, Lily wasn't sure – but she had always been fairly vindictive to her.

"I'll take her," Lily said. "Sirius, help," Sirius mirrored Lily in throwing one of Marlene's arms around his shoulders and hauling her off of the floor. Someone held the door open for them as they shimmied a disapproving Marlene through the door, into the rain and up towards the castle. Amongst them, only Sirius was clean – having jumped into the shower whilst others looked after the sick patient. Marlene was covered in mud, sweat and vomit, so much so that even in Lily's state she felt a bit better about herself.

Five minutes later they were forcing Marlene in through the hospital wing doors, and lying her on a cot against her will. Holloway rushed over and forced Lily and Sirius away so that they could go and have a proper wash. The former stayed put, insisting that she stay and look after her friend. Holloway pulled the curtain around the bed and instructed Lily to take a seat by the opposite wall. As she sat there, muddy and impatient, she watched through the window as the Gryffindor Quidditch team made their way (somewhat clean, though not very dry) up to the castle. Noticing with a dull ache that James wasn't amongst their group, Lily turned away from the window.

It took ten more minutes for Holloway to conduct a list of spells to find out what was wrong with Marlene, and when he finally discovered the reason for her sickness he threw Lily from the room without haste or listening to her pleads to stay. From outside the room Lily heard a raised voice fussing over the only patient in the room.

Deciding that her own hygiene was more important than anything right now, Lily vowed to wash and then return to the Hospital Wing later to see if there was any improvement. She trudged up to the Common Room, wishing that she had a Marauders' Map to keep her safe from Filch's screams about filth, and taking the quickest route possible. When she arrived there, the Fat Lady shot her a revolted look, but opened up when the password had been spoken. She threw off her Quidditch robes, pulled on a pair of thick cotton pyjamas, and headed back out for the door. The now clean team all watched her go – James and Sirius both absent from their pack. She wondered if it was the full moon tonight?

Trudging meekly towards the Prefect's Bathroom she hoped that no one was in there already. It was the reason that she used it so scarcely – the fact that anyone could knock on the door at any point wanting a bath themselves. As she hurried towards the door and spoke the password, the door thankfully opened, entreating her entrance to the empty room. She locked the door from the inside, filled the tub with hundreds of bubbles in different scents, and dunked herself in the perfectly temperate water. Soaking away the muscle ache was her first mission – the second would be distracting herself from the sadness she refused to feel.

As she bobbed around the giant bathtub, she watched the mermaid brushing her long hair in the window. Washing her hair with a shampoo that smelt like apples, Lily swam about happily, cleansing herself of the awful evening. As soon as she got out of the tub and dried herself off she would have to face reality – Marlene would be miserable and sick all evening, Sirius was missing and people would be asking what she had James had been shouting at each other. Then there was Emmeline – who was trying so hard to make everything right between herself and Lily that she kept putting her foot in it, by trying to convince James to look at "how pretty Lily looks today" or how "smart Lily was in Potions this afternoon."

The girl's only saving grace appeared to be Mary MacDonald – who despite her sudden devotion to Divination, was consistently patient with her, would give her hugs when she silently needed them most, and would tell Emmeline to stop being so silly when it came to the James situation. Something had changed about Mary in the last few months – Lily had noticed. She'd gone from somewhat ditzy and shy to a confident and intelligent girl. She was constantly improving in Potions, her Charms were nearing on perfect and apparently she and her partner were top in the class at Divination.

Dragging herself from the cooling water and wrapping one of the duvet-sized towels around her, Lily dried herself off and pulled back on her pyjamas. Checking the time she noticed that she had only half an hour before curfew and headed directly to the Hospital Wing.

—

Sirius had left the infirmary earlier that evening with the hopes of collapsing into bed, and probably having to hear all about Lily Evans as he tried to fall asleep. The boy didn't mind hearing about Lily, because he thought it was so funny – the way James spoke about how it was totally over for them. Anyone with a right mind could see the opposite. Even Remus took Potter's complaints against his fellow prefect with a bit of humour, as they played the waiting game. His evening plans, however, changed when he'd heard a familiar voice, calling out an equally familiar name somewhere near the Charms corridor. Quickly dashing into an abandoned classroom, Sirius held his ear to the door to hear the commotion outside.

"Snape!" the distinctive voice of Hugo Dagwood called. Confused, Sirius pondered what on earth Hugo could have to chat with Snape about. He doubted greatly whether it was hair styling tips.

"You're late again, Dagwood," the growling voice of the Slytherin came. Sirius wondered if he could hex them both. Sadly, he knew that after his stunt last year, if he got into a duel with Snape, unprovoked in the middle of the corridor he'd be expelled before he could say Quidditch.

"I had to get here without Filch spotting me," Hugo retorted. "Why couldn't we meet in the Come and Go Room again?"

"We don't want to be obvious, do we?" Snape muttered. "He wants your answer,"

"He can have it," Hugo said confidently. Assuming Sirius was right in his assumptions, Hugo was even more stupid than he first gave him credit for. No one should have confidence when dealing with Voldemort.

"Well? Do you want to wait to be caught or do you want to tell me?" the Slytherin snapped.

"Yes – I agree to his… terms and conditions," Sirius noted a hint of humour in his choice of words. There were no "terms and conditions" for joining with the Death Eaters. You didn't agree to things like that – Hugo Dagwood was in over his head.

"Curious… I wonder why," Snape started. Sirius heard footsteps as one of the boys moved closer to the other. From the sounds of their voices, they weren't very far away from his own hiding place.

"Why does anyone?" Hugo questioned with a light air.

"Yes, but after your father's death, it seemed as though you really were one for the other side. Being sorted into Gryffindor…" Snape started.

"Bravery isn't necessarily a noble quality, Snape," the Gryffindor interrupted.

"Rightly so – there are others who agree with you,"

"Exactly. I may appear 'poor hard done by son of a Death Eater' but my mother thought that we might buy back the favour of him if I were to be in the school," Hugo explained. Sirius thought of Mrs Dagwood – she seemed like such a frail woman. Could she really want Voldemort's favour?

"He has people here," Snape growled defensively.

"Well now he has one more," Hugo rationed.

"We don't trust you," Snape informed the other boy. Sirius knew how that felt.

"I don't blame you – I've been buddies with the son of two aurors, and your worst enemy for months. You'd be an idiot to trust me," Hugo spoke as though it was a hilarious meeting: as though the betrayal of James and everyone else was a funny joke. "Though I did think you'd comply more after my previous favour to you,"

"That was to me and not him," Snape reminded him angrily. Hugo certainly knew how to annoy the boy.

"Well, the boy is with some other mudblood now. Yours is safe," Sirius' stomach flipped. He could only mean Lily – could Hugo have been behind James' relationship with Mona? It had been his actions during the summer that made Lily and James fall out initially – could be have orchestrated the entire situation?

"You're going to need to prove yourself," Snape told the boy. "To him,"

"I know – I heard all about your initiation, Snape. Hospitalizing your girlfriend and a twelve year old? Bad form, Severus," Hugo joked. Sirius could imagine the look of disgust radiating from the greasy Slytherin.

"I'll stay in touch with you," the boy growled. More footsteps sounded – this time walking away on the hard floor. A short laugh was heard and Hugo walked away too.

Sirius waited a few minutes before creeping out of the room, wishing he had the invisibility cloak and the map. He went a very roundabout route to take him back to the Common Room, hoping to Hogsmeade and back that he didn't bump into the traitor. He was in a tough position – Sirius hated Hugo, so people might think he was making this up. But he couldn't keep it to himself – maybe he should go to Dumbledore? He might believe him – or he would at least keep an eye on the situation.

What was he going to do about James? Had it been anyone else, Sirius knew that his best friend would believe him without a moment of doubt – but it was Hugo. He was meeting in secret with Snape, who was apparently in contact with Voldemort and making the Gryffindor keep James and Lily apart. Would James really believe that Hugo was fraternizing with such company? He seemed oddly defensive of him since the incident with Bridget. Then again – if he was keeping him apart from Lily, maybe James would listen?

He ran straight to the dormitory, finding James absent from there as well as the Common Room. Remus suggested checking the map, but Prongs had taken that with him as well. Resigning himself to the fact that James would show up eventually, Sirius settled into the spare seat on the couch beside Alice and Frank. They were huddled over a piece of parchment chattering away happily.

"Hey Longbottom," Sirius greeted as he flung himself into the seat. "What's that?"

"Letter from Dumbledore," Frank informed him. "Head boy business," he said proudly.

"It's not that big," Alice giggled. "Frank and Meg have to plan a Christmas ball,"

"That's cool," Sirius commented, unfazed by the news. "Make it fun!"

"Keep it hush though, we don't want too many people knowing about it," Frank instructed the younger boy.

"What's the occasion?" Sirius questioned. "We don't normally get Christmas balls!"

"On the contrary Padfoot, I am full of Christmas balls!" a joking voice called from the portrait hole. James was standing with his arm around Mona Fox, a grin on his face and smudgy lipstick on his neck. Even Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Christmas ball?" Mona squeaked excitedly, rushing over to Alice to read the parchment. "That sounds cool!" James settled on the arm of the chair besides Mona, his hand on her shoulder. Sirius wanted to scream at him – things shouldn't be this way. He didn't.

"I don't know the occasion – maybe it's Dumbledore's birthday?" Frank suggested humorously.

"No, Dumbledore's birthday is in July," James corrected with a blank expression. Behind his brown eyes Sirius could tell something was wrong.

"How do you know that?" Mona laughed. Sirius liked Mona, which was probably the most annoying thing about her. She wasn't whiny or annoying, she was cool and smart and she could take a joke. It made hating her near impossible.

"I baked him a cake once," James explained enigmatically. Mona laughed.

"What date were you thinking?" Mona asked as she ran her hands mindlessly through James' hair. Frank looked up.

"I was thinking the twentieth," he said. Sirius stopped.

"Can we make it the twenty fourth?" Sirius asked quickly. He made eye contact with James, who understood at once. Full moon was on the twentieth, and it would take time for Remus to fully recover.

"Yeah, a Christmas Eve party will be way better!" James egged on.

"Actually, I like that idea!" Mona agreed with a grin. Frank shot a look at Alice, who shrugged and smiled back.

"Christmas Eve it is!" he muttered happily.

—

By the time Lily got down to the Hospital Wing Marlene was just being let out. She had a handful of parchment and leaflets and she looked miserably at Lily who smiled breathlessly when she saw her. She'd run all the way from the Prefect's Bathroom.

"Feeling better?" Lily chirped as they walked down the corridor.

"Worse," Marlene admitted.

"Did he find out what was up?" Lily asked kindly.

"Something about… stress…" Marlene mumbled unhappily. "You haven't seen Adam have you?"

"Sorry, no. I haven't been back to the common room. Is he the destressenator?" Lily insinuated. Marlene shot her a confused look.

"Hardly. I just need to ask him something," Marlene said quietly, and they walked the rest of the journey in silence. Lily knew something was up, and she was going to find out what.

—

Mary had been keen to have an early night's sleep, ready for their practice Potions test tomorrow. She'd gone into the empty dorm room and had only twenty minutes sleep until Lily rushed into the room, informing her half-conscious body that Marlene was up to something and that it would be their shared job to find out what. She explained (Mary hardly listened) that their friend had vomited on someone's head during Quidditch and had spent an hour since in the Hospital Wing being yelled at for being over stressed. Without registering any of this information, Mary begged Lily let her sleep and fell into dreams once more.

The next interruption was Donna's entrance, loudly asking Lily to turn her lumos down so that she could sleep in peace. Lily obliged and sleep came once more, until Charlotte crashed the door shut, stormed in and called Lily a swot. She then proceeded to sob all over Lily's duvets about how it was horrible that James had found someone else so soon, whilst Mary quietly thought her a hypocritical slag. Once the crying ended, Mary thought that maybe they could all drift off into a long and easy sleep.

Then the shouting began.

It was near midnight at this point, and everyone had been sleeping. Everyone bar Marlene, who was missing from her bed. Charlotte groaned for everyone to shut up, but the shouts kept coming from down in the Common Room. Lily was the first out of her bed, running through the door and down the spiral staircase, quickly followed by gossip-hungry Donna and resigned-to-being-awake Mary. Emmeline dragged herself behind, and Charlotte drifted insantly back to sleep.

What shocked Mary more than the content of the shouting was the mouth it was coming from.

"Marlene!" she yelled. The girl spun to see her four dormmates stood in the stairwell looking incredulously at the pile of broken things around the room. Adam was sat, head in hands on the sofa, looking just as sick as Marlene had earlier. Lily calmly stepped forwards and used magic to repair the piles of ripped books, broken chairs and smashed clocks. Her and Mary took Marlene to the sofa and stroked her hair soothingly.

"Donna, go away," Lily instructed of the girl. Donna stood defiantly, refusing to leave. "Either leave or I'll hex you deaf – your choice,"

"Fine," Donna said, rolling her eyes and turning around up the stair case.

Mary was glad when Lily cast muffilo over the couches, because she was sure Donna wouldn't give in that easily. The whole time, Adam trembled nervously on the armchair.

"What's going on?" Mary asked softly.

"I…" Marlene muttered uselessly.

"What's happened, Marley?" Lily said, rubbing her friend's back. Again the girl stuttered some syllables, unable to conceive an entire sentence. "Adam?" the boy just shook his head.

"Where're the boys? I'm surprised they didn't hear the commotion." Emmeline muttered wonderingly.

"It's full moon," was all Adam said, and suddenly everyone understood. Mary didn't know how everyone else had found out about Remus' condition. She herself had guessed after his breakup with Emmeline. Though the girl had never explicitly said the word werewolf, it became obviously very quickly.

"Guys – seriously, what's up?" Mary asked of the pair. She was beginning to grow worried. They looked at each other. Adam shrugged.

"I think Marlene might be in shock," Adam said finally.

"Why?" Mary asked.

"She's…" Lily started. "I think… Marlene are you…?" Marlene nodded.

"She's what?" Emmeline snapped.

"I'm pregnant," Marlene said shakily.

—

Prongs stood proudly in the moonlight, his shadow cast over the lake. The man inside smiled, but the animal form didn't understand this action, and so bowed its antlers. To his left the shadow of a black dog was panting and drinking from the water, exhausted from their run around the forest. Prongs knew that Wormtail was around somewhere, though he couldn't make out the figure in the long grass. It had been an exhausting adventure - one of their finest. Miles away a werewolf lay sleeping on the hard floor of the Shrieking Shack. They'd run with him, around the deserted forests of Hogsmeade. He'd howled to the moon and Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs called back to him.

The three Marauders left Mooney sleeping and harmless. They had another quick run around the grounds until they came upon the Great Lake and the panting dog had decided that it was time for a drink. Prongs dipped his hooves in the cool water, but Wormtail stayed safely on the shore. It was way past midnight – the moon was dying down – the werewolf would soon become a man again – and the sun was rising with the warmth and safety of the day.

—

"How did that happen?" Mary exclaimed, totally shocked.

"Well, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much…" Marlene started dryly. Lily snorted out a quick laugh.

"But… your party?" Mary stuttered. Marlene nodded. The room had gone very quiet with the shock of it. Lily heard a barking from out on the grounds and wondered if Sirius was having a better night than her.

"That's the most likely time," she admitted with a sideways glance at Adam.

"There were more?" Emmeline gasped, scandalised as she looked from Adam to Marlene.

"Not Asher?" Mary asked kindly, her hand on Marlene's.

"No, not Asher," she said.

"It's mine," Adam said wearily.

"What're you guys going to do?" Mary sighed, sensing the weight of their situation.

"Holloway gave me leaflets about the different options…" Marlene said, pointing at the pile of papers on the coffee table. They'd have to remember to move them come the morning, Lily noted.

"What're you thinking?" Lily asked softly. Marlene sighed.

"Well… If I keep it I can't stay at Hogwarts so my entire life will be ruined. I'll end up homeless or living with my mother for the rest of my life whilst she silently judges me and wishes I'd have done something better with my life,"

"No," Adam said. "If we keep it you'll live with me. It'll be fun,"

"Adam, this is a huge deal…" Marlene sighed, all of the fight she had been showing earlier whilst breaking things had obviously died down. "This isn't going to be like a sleepover,"

"I know. But, my mum loves you as it is – the fact that you're going to have her first grandchild will probably double that - so she wouldn't mind helping out. I'll… I'll get a job to provide for you both, and then when he or she is old enough, you can get a job too. Plenty of witches and wizards don't have NEWTs," Adam said, going over the details, calming Marlene down with the fantasy of safety and a future. Lily was immediately glad that, of all people, Marlene was in this with Adam.

"That won't change the fact that I'll be a whore!" she cried out.

"Oh Marley, no you're not," fussed the girls, pulling her in for a hug as she grew more and more upset.

"If you're worried about that then marry me?" Adam said, as if his thoughts had become diamonds. He spoke with absolute clarity, his eyes lighting up from the sad darkness they had held before. Lily wasn't the only one gawking at him.

"Adam, I can't just marry you!" Marlene exclaimed sadly.

"Sure you can!" he smiled and suddenly Marlene stilled in her seat. Lily watched her expression lighten.

"You don't have to… we can't just get married because of this…" Marlene begged for him to see, but even Lily could tell that

"Then marry me because since the day you came into my life you have made it brighter? Marry me because every joke you tell me, even if it's not funny, makes me laugh because of the way you smile when you're telling the punch line? Marry me because there's a war on right now and if I die I want to die having achieved something – and if that something was nothing more than you and our baby then I would die the happiest guy on earth. Marry me because you love me too."

"Did he just propose to her?" Emmeline whispered loudly to Lily. Marlene's own eyes were transfixed on Adam, and none of the girls blamed her.

"I think so…"Mary whispered back. Their eyes flickered between the pair.

"You don't have to do this," Marlene choked, tears in her eyes.

"I've loved you long enough for that not to matter," Adam laughed, his own eyes glistening in return.

"I think he means it…" Lily gawked.

"You're my best friend…" Marlene mumbled.

"Marry me because of that then?" he replied calmly.

"He really does mean it doesn't he?" Emmeline exclaimed.

"Yes," Marlene said.

"Yes as in he means it or yes as in yes I will marry you?" Emmeline questioned loudly. Adam looked equally confused.

"Yes as in… I will marry you… I guess," Marlene stuttered once more. She looked both shocked and happy. It was a weird way for things to come together, but in the future they would all look back at this moment and realize that nothing could've changed – this moment was the making of the McKinnons.

"I'm not sure if this is the worst proposal ever or super romantic," Lily sighed hopelessly, as Marlene jumped into Adam's arms.

"Shut up!" Mary squealed, as they began to kiss.

The three girls grinned at their best friend's obvious happiness. Of course there was worry – of course there was regret and sadness and a never ending pit of fear – but in the end there was happiness, and that's all it took.

"You owe me two galleons," Emmeline hissed in Mary's ear.

"No! You bet that he would ask her out – you never bet that he would propose," Mary giggled.

"Same thing!" Emmeline argued. They went on and on, bickering about the pair, guessing the gender and the reactions of their parents, picking a colour scheme for the wedding. Lily sat watching the couple, happy that they had finally found each other.

—

They found the invisibility cloak at the door of the castle and each slipped under it whilst they were still under the cover of near darkness. Though their ankles were still on show, the use of the cloak was a last minute defence – they had the Marauder's Map to shield them from unwanted company. Sirius was complaining under hushed breaths about wanting to take a detour to the kitchens, and as his stomach grumbled James unwillingly complied.

"You know what mate?" he whispered beneath the cloak.

"What?" Sirius replied in the shorter boy's ear as they waddled towards the kitchens.

"I think I prefer you as a god. You should make the change permanent," James laughed, followed by one from Peter. "You talk a lot less,"

"The tail I could live with… the fleas… they kill," Sirius joked, which earned another laugh from the boy trailing behind them.

James quietly spoke the password and crawled in through the portrait hole as they had done a thousand times. As he readied himself to pull off the invisibility cloak he heard voices.

"Honestly, if you don't make me bridesmaid I'll kill you!" it was Emmeline's voice.

"You can all be bridesmaids," Marlene giggled. Sirius nudged him forwards and pulled the cloak off of him. Suddenly he stood very visible, standing right in front of Lily Evans. His heart drummed with the whisper of something Sirius had said earlier. He completely ignored his ranting about Hugo until her name had been mentioned – and Severus Snape's.

"Who's getting married?" James joked, his eyes tearing painfully away from Lily's. She shut her own, clenching her eyelids together wishing him away. He looked over to Adam McKinnon who was grinning wildly. Marlene was on his lap.

"Are you kidding me?" Sirius exclaimed with an excited tone. "That's bloody great!" he ran forwards and pulled Marlene into a bear hug that only Sirius could do. "Your intentions had better be pure McKinnon,"

"Well…," Emmeline coughed, but Mary nudged her quiet. James lifted an eyebrow.

James and Peter went around to sit by the fire – the former so practiced in putting Lily out of his eyeline that he actually sat with his back to her. A very excited Emmeline and Mary recounted the story of the proposal. Some of the details were fuzzy, but the Marauder's 'awww'ed at the right times and congratulated them when the story was done. All the Marauder's, that was, except James.

"So… you're pregnant?" James said at the end of the story. Everyone in the room went still – all eyes (other than Lily's, whose were on Marlene) were on James. He grinned. "Come on – admit it. It's been what? Three weeks since the party? You were sick in Quidditch, a bunch of those details didn't add up. You guys are terrible liars,"

"You're smarter than people give you credit for," Adam noted dully. Marlene had paled.

"Oh, people give me plenty credit," James grinned. "Congratulations you guys!"

"You're not going to yell shotgun wedding?" Marlene muttered sadly.

"Nah – I knew it'd take something big to get you two together," James smiled. "Can I be godfather?"

"Er, sure," Marlene laughed – a grin creeping back to her face. Sirius sat looking stunned. James had never seen him so still.

"You're… there's a little baby inside of you?" Sirius gawked, his eyes wide and voice small.

"A tiny one, I guess," Marlene grinned. Sirius looked from Adam to Marlene, and held his hand against her stomach. Of course it was too early to feel anything other than a particularly sickly stomach, but he held it there, knowing that there was a baby inside. "Don't tell me that you're going broody, Black,"

"No," he laughed it off, "But kids and a family and stuff – who doesn't want that?"

"Padfoot, I er… I've been feeling really sick recently, and I think I'm pregnant from that time we spooned. Marry me?" James joked, which earned him both laughs from the entire group and an angry kick from Marlene.

"If you make ANY jokes about this I will murder you in your sleep," she threatened angrily. Adam giggled. "And if anyone finds out about this, you're all dead,"

"My fiancé everyone!" he chuckled. Emmeline awed, but it turned into a yawn.

"It's way too late! I'm going to bed," she announced, standing up and bidding everyone fair well. Mary followed her. Sirius kissed Lily on the head and followed Peter up to the bedroom.

As the others climbed the steps to their dorms, James found himself sat opposite Lily Evans. She was staring at his hair. Between them, Marlene and Adam spoke softly to each other, but James' eyes were transfixed on something he couldn't put his finger on. Staring at Lily in that moment, everything seemed so much clearer than it had been in weeks.

Lily blinked away the eye contact, and without a word she stood and followed Emmeline up the stairs. James stared after her, wondering what he would have said if he'd had opened his mouth in time to speak.

—

Mary was sure she had failed the Potions test. Her head continued to fall in sleepless fatigue, and the mind was filled with the memory of Marlene's happiness of the previous evening. Of course, she was happy for her friend – but though she didn't envy the difficult situation in which Marlene found herself, she felt a sting of jealousy in that Marlene had finally found someone. That lunch the girl came to the table miserably after having dumped Asher, and Adam was in a similar state of emotion about Vienna, but they had each other – they held hands beneath the table and whispered "it'll be okay's" to one another. Adam even helped her to pen the message to her mother – and she, his.

Mary didn't have any of that.

Come Divination, all Mary wanted to do was to drink her tea leaves and fall asleep on her crystal ball. Blinking the sleep out of her eyes, she jerked herself awake to see Reginald sat opposite her. He hadn't been there a minute ago, she was sure. The thick and warm air of the room was lulling her to sleep.

"Hey Reg," she smiled whilst stifling a small yawn.

"Hullo Mary," he grinned back at her. "You look tired,"

"Oh! Do I really look that bad?" She exclaimed sadly, mussing around with her brown curls. Reginald jumped at her sudden reaction.

"No… er, you look lovely actually…" he blushed a deeper red than Mary thought possible of anyone but Lily. She even felt some colour creeping into her own face. "You just… your eyes are unfocused,"

"Oh – thanks," she smiled. Professor Pes walked in at that moment sensing great things in the air! Across the room Johnathon and Clarissa glared at each other – rumour had it that Johnathon had been hanging out with her brother, and they'd fallen out.

"I had planned on doing tea leaves this afternoon, but it came to me in a dream that this was not the correct direction," Pes said eerily to the class. "As such, we shall be studying the dream patterns, and how they foretell the everyday,"

Mary removed her dream guide from her bag and slammed it to the table. Reg smiled guiltily having forgotten his own book, shuffling his chair to sit next to (rather than opposite) Mary, so that he too could see the book. Smiling as she sleepily flicked through pages she tried to recall any dreaming that had happened last night. Before she could muster up any form of memory however, Reg coughed.

"I had a dream the other day that Hogwarts was on fire, so I ran up here and er… you were trying to save the crystal balls from the inferno, so we jumped out of the window and fell to our deaths," Reginald spoke quickly growing redder and redder in the face with each word. Mary simply gawked and burst into hysterical laughter at his shy expression. There was something so fascinating about his guilty smile.

"Mopsus himself couldn't make sense of that dream, Reg," she wheezed between giggled. Patting him on the arm she struggled for air, until he himself joined in.

"It was pretty crazy," he admitted with a chuckle. Professor Pes didn't actually seem to notice their complete distraction, as she was chastising Clarissa for slapping Johnathon around the face. The boy in question didn't look hard done by – on the contrary he looked very amused by her stubborn refusal to apologize.

Turning back to the book Mary skipped through to find Fire, Crystal Balls, Falling, and Death.

"Well Reg – it appears as though you're going to have some prosperous sea voyages, but be marked down by some depressive storms and though you will have a great struggle there will be rise to honour," Mary read from the book. Lily and Marlene constantly laughed at Mary for enjoying Divination, and though she agreed that some of the work they did was completely mental (prosperous sea voyages, really?) she thought that there really was something to the subject. Pes thought she had a knack for the subject, getting the highest in the OWL results in a few years.

"I… have never been on a boat in my life…" Reginald stuttered. "Except in first year – and even then I felt sick," Mary giggled again.

"Who knows where the fates will take you?" she joked, flicking through the pages to look as though she was working. Professor Pes was talking with Filch in the doorway, about a mess in the corridors. She foretold that it was no one in the room and slammed the door in his face.

They spent the rest of the lesson discussing the meaning behind a dream Mary had remembered from a week earlier – she was in the Forbidden Forest dancing with Hagrid, whilst the Marauders serenaded them. The conclusion they both shared was that Mary should have taken Care of Magical Creatures and that Sirius Black isn't even a good singer in the dream world. When the end of the lesson ended Mary begrudged packing her book away and bidding Reg a farewell when they reached their separate paths.

—

Lily was tired – not physically but mentally. Sleep deprivation she could deal with – it made her slightly giddy and overly alert, but she could handle that. What she couldn't handle was smiling every time someone mentioned the J word, or not succumbing to being miserable when he spoke, or seeing him in every classroom she had to be in. It was torture really – she'd always thought that when it came down to it, she would be fairly sane if she ever had a crush on a boy. She wouldn't be like Mary, Emmeline or Marlene and run around thinking of him and only him all day, every day. It had been easier for them – they didn't have to watch their crush swanning around all day with the fantastic and impossible to hate Mona Fox.

It's hard hating someone for being with someone else when you don't even blame them for it.

It was this exhaustion that led Lily to her dorm room rather than Defence Against the Dark Arts. In her stomach was the feeling of needing to escape from it all, even if only for the hour that she would gain from skipping. She knew it was wrong; but she could not stand to wait outside that room to have an elfish seventh year kissing the lips that should have been hers. Especially when Lily had found herself bored stiff in every single Defence class since the beginning of term. Telling Marlene that she hadn't slept well last night, she escaped, taking the longer route to the Common Room so that she wouldn't get caught.

Absentmindedly Lily spoke the password to the Portrait and crawled through the portrait hole, allowing herself into the thankfully empty room. Collapsing on the sofa nearest the fire, Lily hummed to herself. It was a tune she'd never heard before, and it lulled her into a quiet half-sleep. The guitar was gentle and the vocals-

Wait – vocals?

Opening her eyes, Lily bolted upright and listened hard. She hadn't been imagining it or humming it to herself – there was the light melody of a sad song drifting down from the boys' dormitory stairs. The singing was low, inconceivably beautiful as it muttered the words of a song she didn't know. Lightly stepping onto the first stone step, Lily quietly smiled as she heard the guitar being played expertly. Part of her wanted to shroud herself in the melody – the other realised its danger. Pacifying the latter part of her brain, Lily continued silently up the stairs, oblivious to the fact that this musician should have been in class also.

The door was ajar, helping her get a good listen of the singer's voice. It was like nothing she'd ever heard, and no matter how she tried she couldn't place to voice to one of the boy's in the dorm. Even Hugo – whom she barely knew – couldn't have a voice like that. Wanting to curl up on the top step and fall asleep to the tune, Lily stayed in place, not wanting to disturb the musician. She had never heard music like this – most of the wizarding community didn't hold much stead for the muggle instruments.

Without warning the music stopped. Jumping, Lily considered making a dash for it – the secret singer would never know that she had been there (skipping lessons, nonetheless) and she wouldn't have to stutter an excuse as to why she was suspiciously hanging around outside the boys' dormitory. This (especially in light of recent events) was not something she wished to get around the school. She'd look like a mad woman! Unfortunately her decision was quickly made for her.

"Sirius, is that you?" the voice of James Potter called through the door.

"Bugger," Lily cursed, hitting herself for not realizing that this was exactly the kind of crap that would happen to her – of course it was James Potter being perfect and stupid at the same time – that was typical life. Before she could run or reply, the door was opening wider and she was stood, wide eyed staring at James Potter in crumpled robes, a wonky tie to match his wonky glasses and a wig of untameable hair.

"Lily?" he questioned in a whisper, as she stood silently attempting to figure out a way to explain her behaviour.

"You're… er, you're not in class," she pointed out smartly.

"Nor are you," he retorted quickly, with a suspicious rising of his left brow. Perfect eyebrows – she growled internally.

"I… heard… you playing," she admitted finally, with an unwanted stutter. "I wondered who it was,"

"It was me," he said with a smile. "Is there anything you need?" he asked her. Suddenly she realised that there was something suspicious about him – why was he skipping class? He didn't have any problems to run from. He was James Freakin' Potter – the only thing he had to run away from was the horde of girls who wanted to touch his hair. Okay Lily – she thought strangely – you really need to sort out your mental state.

"James, are you going to play me the rest of the song or not?" a sweet voice called him from inside the room. A strange twisting sensation wracked Lily's gut as Mona sauntered towards James and pulled the door open enough to see Lily standing there with a completely detached look on her face. James looked back at Lily and something crossed his face but it was gone within a second and replaced with a wonky smile.

"Sure thing, Lily was just looking for Sirius," James lied quickly. Lily nodded.

"He's probably in his lesson?" Mona suggested looking up but very much down on Lily who's only reply was another nod, and turning around back down the stair case.

Back in the Common Room, Lily dropped herself into a chair, wanting nothing more than to melt into it and disappear. She could go to her lesson and claim she got lost, she could go up to her dorm and lay awake replaying that horrible moment in her head. Instead, she took to the only form of escapism that she agreed with. The book in question was a wizarding favourite – The Truth of the Mighty Oz – a fiction similar to that of The Wizard of Oz, but with magical truths and interludes. Oz was rumoured to be based on Dumbledore. The book gripped her – dragging her into the world of Delilah and Otto the dog and down the literal and metaphorical Yellow Brick Road – it was just the ticket: the one thing to drag her away from James' face when he saw her there at the door. She was so bedazzled by the book, that she jumped with a start when she looked up to see Hugo Dagwood sat on the arm chair opposite her, watching her with an amused charm.

"Oh, hullo," she said hostilely, closing the book but remembering her page number.

"I've been sat there for ten minutes and you didn't notice I was there," Hugo laughed. "Good book?"

"Good enough," Lily admitted, wishing for him to go away so that she could find out about the lion animagi man, and the enchanted suit of armour.

"Ah, the Truth of the Mighty Oz," Hugo grinned, noticing the cover. "My mother used to read it to me,"

"How fascinating," Lily mumbled, stroking the spine of the used book. It was one that had constant place in the Common Room and had no owner, so naturally it had been read by the few book addicts in the house.

"You're mad at me for this Sirius business, aren't you?" Hugo asked sincerely. That was one thing she hated about him – the fact that if she wasn't actively trying to, she probably wouldn't hate him at all.

"Well, I don't think you belong in Gryffindor house after that display, no," Lily huffed, wondering what the time was.

"Lily, you don't understand. The whole business with Sirius…" the boy started, with an air of superiority.

"I understand everything about Sirius – he is one of my closest friends," she snapped at him. Hugo shut up for a second, taking a breatand composing his words as Lily glared at him.

"Give me a chance?" he pleaded, eyes wide, and a colourless smile at his lips.

Slowly nodding she allowed the boy to continue uninterrupted with his explanation. "There were about twenty fully grown witches and wizards in that room – who; had I even flinched, would've given me the same treatment. I know that doesn't say much for my character, but I had intended on helping Sirius as soon as everyone had gone to bed. Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that he stupefied me into unconsciousness and punched me in the face, I would've patched him up nicely and returned his wand,"

"Is that it? That is the explanation you gave to convince James Potter that a boy who watched his best friend be beaten within an inch of his life is a good guy?" Lily questioned coldly. She didn't believe it for a second – even if it was true, he'd obviously said something more to James. Potter wouldn't have taken such a light approach. In fact, all of his behaviour regarding Hugo Dagwood hinted that there was something more to their friendship – something hidden.

"It's the truth," Hugo concluded. "Please don't let this get in the way of our friendship,"

"What friendship? You barely know me," she pointed out, harshly. Hugo continued his smiling and leaned in to Lily.

"No, I don't," he admitted, "but I would like to," his eyes didn't falter.

"If that's some kind of chat up line…" Lily warned with an edge.

"Oh, you're very beautiful Lily, but you said yourself – I barely know you. Let me get to know you?" he asked smoothly. Blinking, Lily felt a fuzzy sensation go through her head. Looking at Hugo – seeing his big honest eyes and his lovely face she nodded. It seemed like a reasonable request.

"Okay then – tell me about yourself," she grinned happily. Hugo returned the smile.

"What do you want to know?" he asked, happily falling back into his arm chair.

"Favourite subject so far?" Lily asked.

"Charms," was his answer. Lily felt her stomach tingle – no one liked Charms as much as she did.

"I love Charms!" she squealed happily. "It's my favourite!"

"Really? You are rather fantastic at it," he complimented her, turning her skin a fresh shade of pink.

"Thanks – okay, another question: favourite Professor?" Lily drilled.

"Slughorn – he's a coot, but he knew my mother and father from their Hogwarts days, and he likes me," Hugo answered. "In fact, he's invited me to something called "The Slug Club"? Do you know anything about that?"

"Yeah – they're his little parties for people he thinks will do well. Remus and I go sometimes," Lily smiled proudly. She felt as though she could with Hugo – he was smart, and might accept that being at the Slug Club wouldn't hurt one's future prospects. He wasn't going to tease her like everyone else did.

"Well if you're going I should come along – I wasn't going to, because I wasn't sure of the company – that Severus Snape…" he said. Lily's face dropped – the almost tingle gone from her mind, she glared at Hugo. "Sorry – I heard about…"

"I have no time for Severus Snape," she finished. Hugo looked at her sadly, she blinked and when she opened her eyes she was smiling at Hugo. "Enough of that. Favourite Charm?"

"I'd say the Confundus Charm – I do a very good Confundus Charm," Hugo grinned happily along with her. Their questioning continued as they walked down to lunch together, and sat side by side, Lily asking Hugo dozens of questions. Eventually; when pudding came, Hugo turned to her. "I have a question for you,"

"Hit me," Lily smiled.

"Why weren't you in Defence Against the Dark Arts?" Hugo asked. Lily cursed.

"I had a… er headache," she lied quickly.

"Yeah – reading help cure that?" he joked. Glaring jokingly at him, she took a bite of her treacle pie – it had to be her favourite dessert. She felt positively giddy.

"I wasn't feeling up to it," she admitted finally and quietly. Hugo nodded.

"I figured as much – must be hard to see someone who says they like you running off with someone else at the first opportunity," Hugo whispered.

"I don't like him," she denied, feeling less giddy now. She picked glumly at the treacle pie.

"I never said you did," Hugo smiled softly, until it broke into a full blown grin. "You've got…" he pointed at the corner of her mouth where lay a few crumbs. His hand moved forwards reflectively, brushing the pastry away and smoothing her lips. "All gone,"

Lily gulped.

"Favourite dessert?"

—

As she fell asleep, Lily considered crying as a conundrum. One could cry from an inordinate amount of emotions if felt strongly enough – happiness, anger, fear, and frustration – but aside from the science of the self-awareness of the human mind, sadness was something in itself. It was not profound or unique in any sense of either word, for the feeling was universal. But sadness demanded tears whilst the others became it.

It was the shaking of excited hands that woke Lily the next morning, way before she thought agreeable. Annoyed by this, she scrunched herself up into a ball, bringing the cover over her ears and eyes. Apparently the shaker thought that this was not an acceptable reaction to their shaking and continued to rip the warmth of the duvet from her sleep-weak hands and to shake her once more.

"Do you really hate me this much?" groaned Lily to the shaker. Refusing to open her eyes, Lily was aware that the culprit could have been anyone and that grunting at them might not be very good form. The part of her brain that had trained so thoroughly with Madam Devarius warned her that anything could be coming for her. The shaker could be a polite Death Eater, or a mute warning sent to wake her before an attack. Slowly unpeeling her tired lids she saw Mary perched at the end of her bed – the curtains to both her bed and the dorm were open and the other girls were all absent. It was quite anti-climactic.

"Come on, Lil," Mary grinned. "Hogsmeade," Lily's only response was a surprised groan. She'd completely forgotten the planned Hogsmeade trip, that would bring with it more of the sadness that had assassinated her sleeping attempts over the last week and an excuse to get unhealthy amounts of chocolate to dull the pain. "Please get up! Everyone already left,"

"What time is it?" Lily questioned as she rubbed her eyes. The room was a tip – a sure sign of girls on dates. Pulling herself from her empty casket of a bed Lily vowed to make herself look as little like a zombie as possible and catch a quick breakfast before heading into the village with Mary.

"About ten. And I was thinking – remember when we said that we would go in together?" Lily nodded dully. "Well, I was thinking that I might catch up with some other friends,"

"Would these other friends be Reginald?" Lily questioned with a disappointed, though amused smile. Mary needn't answer, for her blushing face did the job perfectly.

"Perhaps. You don't mind if I ditch you, right?" Mary pleaded with a grin. Lily laughed out loud.

"I didn't even want to go at all. You go – although can you pick me up like… three carrier bags of Honeyduke's finest?" Lily asked as Mary pulled her into a bear hug.

"Of course!" she squealed and jumped up. "Do I look alright?"

"You look lovely, Mary," Lily admitted. Mary was sporting a skirt that Lily hadn't seen in years, and a blue blouse. Passing Mary a hefty sum of galleons to purchase her chocolate Lily collapsed back onto her bed with her newly earned duvet. Though of course, half an hour following Mary's exit from the room Lily realised that she probably wasn't going to get back to sleep and though she wasn't going to put herself through the torture of going into the village she shouldn't waste her whole day in bed, especially when she had free reign of the castle since some people had dates.

Dressing in a pair of jeans, a flowing cream shirt and her slippers Lily headed down to the common room. Surprisingly it wasn't empty. There were a few studious first and second years milling around who regarded her with a curious eye – why was she denying herself one of the few privileges of being over the second year? Of course the answer would have been a warning more than anything – a run for your lives – escape – never conform to the norms of social convention – it's too late for me – save your innocent selves. But then she saw some twelve year olds snogging and thought maybe not so innocent. It may be too late for them.

Feeling decidedly not hungry Lily decided to take a study day and grabbed her bag and hauled it to the library. As usual, she was greeted by the emptiness that she found dear to her, as only two other students were in the room. Barty Crouch stuck behind a large and rather thick edition of Hogwarts: A History; and the other resident, Hugin Dagwood.

"Hugo," Lily called and went to go and sit with him at the small table near the window that over looked the courtyard. Outside some first years were chatting around the fountain. "You're not in Hogsmeade,"

"Well observed – nor are you," he replied, shutting his book and quickly placing it under the table out of vision.

"I…," she started, but he obviously understood, because he quickly cut her off.

"I know. And I've lived in a wizarding village for my entire life and my mother finds time in her schedule to send me a numerous amount of sweets and supplies every Sunday, so I have no need to leave the castle,"

"A change of scenery, perhaps?" Lily suggested, taking out her worn copy of Advanced Potion Making.

"Why would I want a change of scenery?" Hugo said unfathomably, his eyes fixed on Lily, who couldn't help but blush under the weight of those eyes. "And in any case I did not have a date,"

"You don't need a date to go into Hogsmeade," Lily pointed out. "Plenty of people don't have dates – they just go with their friends,"

"Friends? I am rather afraid that James himself is occupied with the inescapable Mona Fox, Remus has sided with Sirius in the whole "me" debate, and Adam McKinnon has himself the lovely Ms Fray," Hugo didn't sound bitter in the slightest; he merely explained the situations which led him to be sat alone in the Library on the first Hogsmeade visit of the year.

"What about Peter?" Lily questioned. People often forgot Peter, and it made her sad for him. He was quite a funny lad, once you got over his original shyness. James, Sirius and Remus wouldn't just keep him around to be in awe of them – he was actually rather sweet. Hugo's eyes brightened as if he hadn't thought of Peter.

"I shall ask him for coffee next time," Hugo joked. Lily sighed. "Then again, there is you,"

"There is," Lily agreed with a sly grin, her eyes turning towards the open page of her book. "Of course that would be rather presumptuous of you,"

"Would it now?" Hugo played along. It was a few seconds before Lily realised that their matching tones were flirtatious.

"Well, that'd be assuming that we're friends, Mr Dagwood. Who says I haven't sided with Sirius?" Lily questioned. In truth she didn't agree with Hugo's actions that night, but something niggling inside her hinted that it wasn't really Hugo she was mad with – it was the Blacks.

"Call it a magical feeling inside," Hugo chuckled lightly. Lily shot him a grin and turned back to her book- Hugo did not do the same. His own book was shielded under the table still. "You hardly need to revise Potions,"

"Well – it'll give me something to do, and it will be nice to be ahead," Lily grinned, thumbing through the book to get to the right page.

"If you were any farther ahead you'd be teaching Slughorn," Hugo joked and leant forwards. "And as for having something to do, why not finish the book you were reading last night?" Lily blushed.

"I finished it already, actually," she admitted, embarrassed.

"Really? Impressive," Lily blushed again. Most people gawked at her for being so bookish. "Then how about spending the day with me?"

"You?" Lily choked with a laugh. "What do you want to do?"

"I'm sure I can think of something…" he said with the menace of a Marauder.

—

"You know, I'm pretty sure you're meant to do this before the date," James pointed out as he sipped on his warm butterbeer. Across the table, Mona had her feet up, slipped into strappy sandals as she painted the toenails red. Grinning over at him she dipped the brush in the pot.

"Are you sad because I'm ignoring you?" she joked flirtatiously. "I'm done now anyway," she dropped the pot in her purse and straightened out, leaning over the table and throwing her sort hair behind her ear. "You know I could have bought you a firewhiskey right?"

"I could have stolen one," James grinned slyly. "I want the butterbeer,"

"Shame, cause I have a bottle in my bag that suggests differently," Mona winked. James responded with the same grin she flashed him. Constantly he was reminded of Sirius by her, and in some aspects that was perfect. "How about it, sugar?"

"Maybe later," he stole a look around the bar. The Hogs Head was pretty deserted other than a few seventh years trying to look tough by drinking firewhiskey. Mona was staring at him questioningly when he turned back to her; her dark eyebrows raised and a half smirk visible.

"Looking for someone?" she asked curiously.

"No one in particular," he replied happily and downed the bubbles at the bottom of his glass. "Want to get going?"

"Where to? Fancy going up to the Shrieking Shack and making out?" Mona suggested happily. This behaviour had been completely encapsulating at first, but now, even after a mere week of relationship it seemed forced and exhausting.

"Or we could just go shopping?" he opposed. Throwing her purse over her arm, she grabbed his hand and skipped out of the bar – her mini skirt flouncing as she went.

Out on the High Street there were many more people – mostly Hogwarts students. James kept his eyes peeled for a certain person, but she was nowhere to be seen, which he figured was good. He didn't want to hurt her any more than he did. He wanted to be with Mona now – that was obvious. She gripped a hold of his hand and nattered away about the different shops she wanted to go into and the things she was going to buy. Oddly she never made to go into the shops, but strutted through the High Street happily throwing happy grins at passers-by.

Over the heads of the mostly shorter crowd, James spotted the head of one Mary MacDonald.

"Hey, Mone – I'm going to go chat to Mary quickly, okay?" he said, letting go of her hand as she chatted to one of her friends he didn't know. Pushing his way through the crowd in attempt not to lose her, James was quite violent. Eventually he caught up with her and stopped her by shouting out her name. A quick look at her company and James was surprised. It was Reginald. The boy who fancied Mary.

"Hey Mary, hey Rupert," James greeted happily. Reginald stuttered a reply about that not being his name but it was mostly inaudible.

"Hey James – this is Reginald by the way. Not Rupert. Reg," Mary was smiling happily, an air of confidence she'd been lacking for years. "No Mona?"

"She's er… talking to a friend," James explained. "Where's…?"

"Lily decided not to come today," Mary said sadly. "She sent me to pick up her groceries,"

"That's a lot of chocolate," James gawked. "What's the occasion?"

"She's been down a bit lately if you hadn't noticed," Mary retorted pointedly. James had noticed – in lessons when there was no Mona or Hugo to distract him, his thoughts were almost entirely on her. She sat slumped now, rather than alert – she rarely answered questions, and though she never fell behind, she didn't have the same enthusiasm. He'd noticed her missing from meals, and she didn't look as if she was sleeping well – he wondered if she was ill at all.

"Hopefully the chocolate will make her better," he smiled uncomfortably. "How's the date?"

"Oh err…" Mary and Reginald both blushed and turned away from her. Though Reginald had grown since last year, and filled out a lot, he was still a slight shorter than the girl with the body of a supermodel. His mousy brown hair had darkened, and his face was more defined, but next to Mary he looked nothing but average. She still shot him an embarrassed smile and shrugged to James.

"James!" Mona called from over the crowd. He turned to see her sauntering over, swinging her hips and her hair in the wind. Mary's smile faded. "Oh, hi Mary,"

"Mary and Reg are on a date," James cited happily. The happy couple went back to blushing, which diffused the silence from Mary's lack of greeting.

"How… cute," Mona squeaked, "Now come on handsome, let's go pick up some new robes," she smiled and dragged James down the High Street, his dragging feet making him trip over the cobbled stones.

—

Mary had boughts of what Lily called "Not-there-ed-ness". Ever since her attack years previously she would have moments in which her mind would turn itself of – restart it – like it had on that day. They were random moments, in which her brain would say "that's it – we need a full system restore – cut all functions and switch the lights". This would last for a second, until the systems were a-go. Of course, for this to happen in the middle of the Hogsmeade High Street on her maybe-date with Reginald was quite different.

Opening her eyes, Mary blinked and smiled.

"You okay, Mare?" Reggie asked his hand reaching out to take her temperature. Blinking, the girl attempted to remember who he was. "I'm Reginald Cattermole – your Divination partner. We've been working together all term. You're Mary MacDonald – you're 16 and you're in your NEWT year at Hogwarts," he spoke, reminding her of who and where she was. She wasn't back there – she was safe now. She was stronger. All the while Reg Cattermole knew exactly what she needed without instruction or explanation. He filled the gaps.

"Thanks," she smiled. It came back to her. He was Reg. She was Mary. That's all she needed to know. "Shall we go sit down?"