Chapter 11

Kurt wasn't too sure where to begin. "I...I don't want to stay here." Kurt whispers, he couldn't look at his teacher, he was too busy picking at his hands, his top, his trousers, anything to make him feel busy. "I don't want to end up like every other man sat at home wishing they'd made something of themselves when they were younger. I'm going to be someone. I just needed..."

"Needed what Kurt?" Will whispers encouragingly.

"Money." Kurt sighed. "You don't become a star by dressing in flannel. You have to look the part."

"You...For clothes?"

Kurt looked up at him. "No. Not for clothes." Kurt felt belittled that Will would think that about him. He wouldn't do something as dangerous as what he had been doing just to get the latest sweater. Even if it was Gucci. "For the life it represents. I walk into an audition room looking like a nicely combed Finn, yeah they'd be impressed with the talent, but they wont remember me."

"I understand." Will sighs.

"You do?" Kurt couldn't understand how Will knew what he was feeling.

"When I was your age, I wanted to get out too."

"Why...Why didn't you?" Kurt whispered.

"Terri didn't want to."

Kurt nodded slowly. He couldn't ever imagine staying in a place he hated just to please someone else. His dad understood his reasons for needing to leave, and he promised not to stand in his way. "I couldn't do that. I...Does that make me selfish?"

"No." Will replied a small smile playing on his lips. "It means you've never been in love."

"I want to." Kurt whispered. "It's...Another reason why I need to leave so bad."

"You can have love here, Kurt."

"I'm the only openly gay kid in the school, Hell, in the town. If...If I was to be lucky enough to find a guy who liked me, they wouldn't date me. I'm too out for anyone to be comfortable with, and I'd never push anyone to be out too."

"There's your answer to your question Kurt, you're so very not selfish."

"I know what I'm doing is wrong." Kurt whispers. "And it was never my plan...I just..." Kurt stops talking, lost in his own thoughts.

"You just what, Kurt?" Will presses. He doesn't want Kurt to freeze up now, not when Kurt was finally opening up to him.

"I went to the bar, the one where you found me...And I didn't go looking to earn money, I went looking for something to make me feel...to make me feel better about being myself. I just wanted to dance, and maybe dance with someone else, and not be judged for it. Then a man slipped me fifty if I'd give him a blow job." Kurt whispers, his voice drifting off at the end.

"And you said yes."

Kurt's silence is all the answer Will needed. "I don't want you to do it any more." Kurt wanted to say something to him, he wanted to say it wasn't his decision to make, or for him to mind his own business, but he didn't. He didn't want to do it any more either. He didn't want to feel scared.

"I...Will you help me?" Kurt asks quietly. He'd never really asked for help before. It made him feel weak.

"Of course." Will whispers, he reaches over and takes Kurt's hand squeezing it softly. "I'll do everything in my power to help you."