Bitter Past, Bitter Future

Tears slid down Vanessa's cheeks. She felt a hand slip inside hers. She didn't need to look to see Draco. Her shoulders shook with another sob. She sniffled, trying to keep her nose from running, but what was the point? Grief wasn't pretty.

Someone touched her other hand. "Do you want to go up there?" Laurel's voice sounded clogged and cracked. Vanessa turned her head, her eyes heavy and swollen, toward Laurel. Vanessa merely nodded, not trusting herself to speak. The two left their spot in the back of the crowd and pushed their way forward.

Mrs. Blanchard turned her puffy face when she heard Vanessa and Laurel approach. "Oh, girls," she whispered. She pulled them in for a hug. "Ellie always loved the two of you so dearly."

Vanessa let out a small whimper and trembled as she was knocked with another sob. She dissolved into a bout of weeping. Laurel withdrew from the embrace but rubbed Vanessa's back. Mrs. Blanchard cradled Vanessa's head, shivering with her own cries. After her blubbering subsided, Vanessa pulled back. Mrs. Blanchard's lips twitched with a weak smile before turning into Mr. Blanchard's arms to cry. Vanessa approached the closed coffin. "Ellie… I am so, so sorry." she whispered. "I should've been there, fighting by your side… I… I'm going to miss you so much. I do miss you."

"Always so fierce," muttered Laurel, pursing her lips. "You little weirdo, getting into fights more than us because you just loved so fiercely. The world needs more love like yours, Ellie. And now y-you're gone. And I don't know what to do without you, Ellie. You know me, always so sarcastic. I flip people off more than I hug them. We didn't always get along, but… God, I always wanted to protect you. You… You always knew when I needed a hug. And I-I never really told you how much I love you. Oh, Ellie…" Laurel turned away from the coffin, her face scrunched and red. She buried her face into Blaise's chest wept.

Vanessa swallowed the lump in her throat and pointed her wand at the coffin. She conjured a sunflower, Ellie's favorite. "I wish you were still here," she whispered. "I would give anything to take your place, Ellie. You were more than my friend, you were my sister. You made me family because you knew I didn't have one. Fuck, Ellie. What am I going to do without you?" Vanessa's eyes burned as tears filled her vision and spilled down her cheeks. She didn't want to look away. She wasn't ready to say goodbye. She felt someone tug on her hand.

"C'mon, Nessie." Draco murmured. Vanessa turned toward him. Tears slid down his cheeks in little streams. He pulled her close to him. She coughed out a sob into his chest. "Sh… She always sort of hated me for being mean to you. And she was right to do that. I wish I could go back and change all of that. I really did like her, you know. She was a great friend. Maybe not to me, but to you and Laurel. And I wish I could've been part of that."

Vanessa wrapped her arms around Draco's waist. She calmed slightly, her breathing growing less ragged and stabilizing. "She loved you, too. Deep down. She was worried about you." she whispered.

"C'mon. I need a drink." said Blaise.

Vanessa pulled away from Draco's chest. She offered him a smile that was more like a grimace and followed Blaise and Laurel out of the cemetery. She stopped in her tracks when she saw five men dressed in black striding toward them. Her heartbeat accelerated. Death Eaters? Here? She scrambled for her wand, the pounding of her heart speeding up until it hurt her chest. She could hardly breathe.

"Draco Malfoy?" said one of the men.

"Yes?" Draco replied.

Two men started forward and grabbed Draco's arms. "You are under arrest for your war crimes on behalf of You-Know-Who." said the first man. Vanessa felt herself relax as she recognized the men as Aurors. Then she bristled.

"What the hell? He didn't do anything!" she snapped.

"Many have associated him with the Death Eaters." said the first man. Draco's hands were cuffed behind his back.

"And he's got a Dark Mark." said another, hiking up Draco's sleeve.

"We're sorry for the inconvenience." said the first man. Draco looked at Vanessa with dead eyes. She felt her own fill with tears. God, hadn't she cried enough today? Draco was led into the Ministry car. Vanessa stumbled after the lead Auror.

"Wait! Will there be some sort of trial? He's innocent." said Vanessa.

The Auror frowned. "The Death Eater trials begin next week. I don't know which one he'll be tried in."

Vanessa watched the Auror climb into the car and drive away. She gasped, still staring at the street. She turned to Laurel and Blaise. "We have to help him." she said.

Laurel nodded. "I have some friends at the Ministry. I'll find out when he's being tried. You can offer to testify on his behalf."

Vanessa nodded. "What about you guys? Will you?"

Blaise nodded. "Sure, but I don't know if there's a lot I can offer. Draco didn't exactly talk much during sixth year."

"But you can offer something." Vanessa argued.

"Yeah." said Blaise.

Vanessa looked at Laurel. "Talk to them. I'll come with you if it'll help."

"Let me find out when his trial is. Then I'll tell you how you guys can testify." said Laurel.

Vanessa nodded, sucking in a deep breath. "He is not going to Azkaban. I'm not losing anyone else."

…

Draco's eyes ached as he stared ahead, unseeing and without blinking. His throat was sore and his hands shook as he clenched and unclenched his fingers, scarping his fingernails along the wood of his chair.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy," said Kingsley Shacklebolt, commencing the trial. "You are here under the accusation and evidence of your affiliation with Lord Voldemort's Death Eater regime. You are facing incarceration in Azkaban for your crimes. By the end of this trial, you will be proven guilty or innocent. We will hear an account of witnesses in favor of prosecution, as well as witnesses in favor of the defendant. Then, if you wish, you may speak for yourself. Understood?"

Draco met Shacklebolt's gaze and gave a small nod. "Yes." he croaked.

Shacklebolt dipped his head. "Thorfinn Rowle, you may give your testimony."

Draco frowned slightly as the large Death Eater, his hands shackled and his arms gripped by two Aurors, was shoved to the testimonial stand. Thorfinn met Draco's gaze and sneered. "Malfoy served as a Death Eater, and a prominent one at that. The Dark Lord assigned Malfoy the task of assassinating Albus Dumbledore during his sixth year." Thorfinn said.

Draco felt his heart sink as low murmurs rippled through the crowd. Shacklebolt silenced them. "And did Mr. Malfoy succeed in his task?"

"Malfoy got us into the castle that night," said Thorfinn, running his tongue along his top teeth, "and led us to the Astronomy Tower. He disarmed Dumbledore. He was gonna do it, if it hadn't been for Severus Snape stepping in."

Draco's eyes flitted around the room as the jury shook their heads in dismay and muttered among themselves. That idiot Rowle was going to get Draco put in jail! Draco closed his eyes, refusing to let tears fall. His heart rate quickened and he struggled to control his breathing. "Silence! Silence!" yelled Shacklebolt. "Is there anything else?"

"His family aided in the torture of one Hermione Granger at his household." said Thorfinn, shrugging.

Draco would have jumped to his feet, had he not been shackled to the chair. "That was my aunt, you crackpot, not me!"

Thorfinn chuckled. "Still your house. Did you do anything to stop it?"

Draco gripped the edge of the chair. "I didn't hand Potter over to Bellatrix, when I could've."

"Enough!" yelled Shacklebolt. "Mr. Malfoy, you will get your chance to talk soon enough. You lot, escort Rowle back to his cell." The two Aurors from earlier grabbed Thorfinn's arms and struggled to lead him out of the courtroom. Thorfinn leaned close to Draco's ear.

"See ya in Azkaban, you filthy traitor!" Thorfinn spat at Draco's face and cackled as he was led out.

"The next witness is Amycus Carrow, another witness on the Astronomy Tower." said Shacklebolt.

Amycus sat at the testimonial stand, eyeing Draco as if he were a rat. "Yeah, I was there. All year, Malfoy tried to murder Dumbledore. First he tried that cursed necklace, but it sent Katie Bell to St. Mungo's. Had she lost her sanity, Draco would've been responsible. Then he tried poisoning Dumbledore, but Ron Weasley was the victim then. Then he fixed the Vanishing Cabinet and let us into the castle. He disarmed Dumbledore at the tower and was ready to assassinate Dumbledore when Snape stepped in and did it himself."

Draco's shoulders dropped. How was he going to get out of this? Who would defend him? After Amycus had given his testimony, Alecto walked in. She sneered at Draco. She gave the same recount of the Astronomy Tower, that Draco disarmed Dumbledore and nearly blasted him to death. But then she continued. "Never missed a meeting with the Dark Lord. His family captured Potter, Weasley and Granger. They also held some goblin, Luna Lovegood and Ollivander captive in their basement for several months. Bellatrix tortured the girl and Draco identified Potter to them." she sneered.

Draco put his face in his hands. He had actually protected Potter… He had known it was Harry, yet he had not said anything. "Anything else?" Shacklebolt sighed.

"I saw Malfoy chase down Potter during the Battle of Hogwarts. Did anything I said during my time as a professor, too." said Alecto.

Draco glared at her. "I never tortured anyone," he spat.

"Not true," sang Alecto. "I asked him to use the Cruciatus Curse on a fellow student, Vanessa Addington. And he did. He also rejoined the Death Eaters after it was believed Potter was dead."

Draco felt the color drain from his face. He had tortured Nessie. Oh God, Nessie… He had never told her how sorry he was… Draco blinked back tears as Alecto was led out of the courtroom. He looked at the jury. Many were shaking their heads in disgust and muttering to each other. He was going to Azkaban. "And now we will hear the accounts from the witnesses in favor of the defense." said Shacklebolt. "First up, we have Mr. Blaise Zabini."

Draco's head snapped up. Blaise sauntered to the testimonial stand, where he met Draco's gaze. Blaise made no expression, but Draco's heart lifted ever so slightly. "This past year at Hogwarts, I got to know Draco pretty well. And one thing I learned was that the man was terrified. Voldemort had a strong influence over him and his family, one they didn't want. They were just trying to keep each other safe. Draco didn't torture anyone at school, except for Vanessa Addington. During the battle, Draco switched sides. I was with him and two others. We fought Death Eaters together." said Blaise.

"And did he rejoin the Death Eaters after Potter's supposed death?" Shacklebolt questioned.

Blaise's lips dropped. "Yes," he admitted. "But it was for his family. And he changed back when Potter was found alive."

"It sounds to me," said a random juror, "that he is a flighty fellow. Doesn't seem trustworthy at all."

Blaise's jaw popped. "Look, I never said he was a saint. But he was never a Death Eater through and through. That woman Alecto Carrow? She wanted us to torture first years as a Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson. Draco didn't take part in it. The Carrows did things that would make your hair curl, old man. He may not be the smartest bloke, but he's not like them."

Draco's lips twitched. Blaise left the stand. He paused at Draco's chair to pat his shoulder. Draco offered him a tiny smile, which Blaise rolled his eyes at. Draco looked at the stand to see Laurel taking her place. "My testimony may not be as lengthy, but I can also say that Draco fought alongside the Order during the Battle of Hogwarts. He saved my ass loads of times. During sixth year, he never talked about what Voldemort told him to do, but we all had a feeling. You know what happened to him? He didn't sleep. He didn't eat. He's a pale bloke and lost what little color he has left in his skin. He was downright ill. He did it to protect his family. Is there nothing any of you lot wouldn't do to protect your family?" she snapped.

Several of the jurors shifted uncomfortably. Draco's eyes stung. "Now we will hear from Mr. Harry Potter himself." said Shacklebolt. He smirked at Harry, who strode toward the stand. Draco gaped at Potter, who avoided Draco's gaze.

"I was there, that night that Dumbledore died," said Harry, his tone dry. "He did curse Katie Bell and he nearly poisoned Ron, yes. He disarmed Dumbledore, but before Snape showed up, Draco lowered his wand."

"Would Mr. Malfoy have killed Dumbledore?" Shacklebolt asked quietly.

Harry met Draco's gaze. "No," said Harry. Draco's heart stopped. What was Potter doing, defending him? Draco didn't want to owe this prat anything! And… Where was Nessie? Had she given up on him? "I was also at Malfoy Manor when Hermione was tortured. Draco was asked to identify me to Bellatrix so that she could summon Voldemort. He knew it was me, but he never gave me up."

Draco looked around at the jurors, who seemed moved by Harry's words. Could Draco be spared? Could Potter be his saving grace, however much of a bitter taste it was on Draco's tongue? Harry left the stand. Shacklebolt, looked at his papers. "Our final witness is one of Malfoy's victims, Vanessa Addington." said Shacklebolt. Draco nearly snapped his own neck looking up at the stand.

Vanessa took her seat and met Draco's gaze. She offered him the tiniest twitch of her lips. "Draco fought alongside the Order during the Battle of Hogwarts, as it's been said many times. He was on our side when it counted the most. That Mark on his arm does not define him."

"Did he torture you at Alecto Carrow's command?" asked one of the jurors.

Vanessa pursed her lips and looked at her hands, which were folded on the desk in front of her. "Yes, to save us both," she said. The jurors exchanged glances. Vanessa looked at them. "My seventh year at Hogwarts was nothing short of a nightmare. Many obeyed the Carrows to avoid being slapped in the face in front of the whole class. I can attest that to disobey the Carrows was to earn some sort of punishment. I was a frequent receiver of punishment. Draco pulled me aside one day to convince me to stop, out of concern for my health. As punishment for his concern, Alecto Carrow pulled us aside one evening. Alecto threatened Draco with revealing his betrayal to the Death Eaters if he did not use the Cruciatus Curse on me. Draco refused, but I told him to do it, for both our sakes. He did in order to save us both. Draco is not a bad person, nor is he a Death Eater. He's just someone who had no choice. You don't need an Imperius Curse to bend someone to your will. Threatening the ones they love is enough."

Silence met Vanessa's words. Draco felt tears slipping down his cheeks as he gazed at her. His lips parted when he noticed the glisten on Vanessa's cheeks and the redness of her eyes. Shacklebolt cleared his throat. "Mr. Malfoy, do you have anything to say for yourself?" he said as Vanessa left the courtroom.

Draco looked at the floor. "I did some bad things," he choked. "I cursed Katie Bell and poisoned Ron Weasley. I became a Death Eater. A-at first, it was what I wanted. I won't pretend it's not because then I'll be a liar. But… When I stared at Dumbledore, who was offering me love and shelter even though I had him at my mercy, I… I realized I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill another human being. But at that point, it was too late. Voldemort punished his Death Eaters severely when they failed him. I knew that if I quit, he would kill my family. He would torture my friends and he would kill anyone important to me. He didn't understand love enough to have it himself, but he understood it enough to know that he could exploit it to bend others to his will. I was a Death Eater, but in the end, I changed sides because I knew it was wrong. I couldn't live with myself anymore. I wish I could go back and change the things I've done, but I can't. I will never forget Hermione Granger's screams echoing through my house, or the desperate look Harry Potter gave me when he knew I recognized him, or the kindness Dumbledore showed me even at the accusing end of my wand. I will never forget the pain I put Vanessa Addington through. I wish I could fix it, but I… I can't."

Shacklebolt put a hand over his mouth as he stared at Draco with narrowed eyes. "Your sentence was for six months," he said. A juror handed him a piece of parchment. "And many are in favor of reducing that sentence to just one month. All in favor of this verdict?" The majority of the jury raised their hands. Shacklebolt sighed and banged the gavel. "Draco Malfoy, you are found guilty of attempted murder, torture of an innocent and affiliation with Death Eaters. For these crimes, you are sentenced to one month in Azkaban."

Draco's heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. He was released from the chair only to have his hands chained in front of him. His heart pounded and his breathing grew rapid and shallow. He looked up at Shacklebolt. "Please, just let me see her! Let me see her one last time! I have to see Vanessa!" The Aurors dragged him out of the courtroom, his begging falling unheard upon merciless ears.

…

"Addington," said Shacklebolt, striding toward her.

"What was the verdict?" Vanessa queried.

Kingsley pursed his lips. "Guilty, but his sentence was reduced to only one month."

Vanessa relaxed slightly, but she closed her eyes, her heart aching. "How is he?"

"That's actually what I came to talk to you about," said Kinsley. "He's asking to see you."

"Not me? Git." said Blaise, directing his nose toward the ceiling.

"I wouldn't wanna see your ugly mug, either." said Laurel, elbowing Blaise in the gut.

Vanessa looked at Kingsley. "Of course I'll see him," she said. She caught sight of Harry walking past. "Just give me a moment," she said. She hurried to catch Harry. "Harry! Harry!" she called, jogging to match his pace.

Harry stopped. "Oh. Hullo, Vanessa."

"Look, I just wanted to say thank you for testifying on Draco's behalf. I know the two of you weren't always chums in school, and Draco has a lot to make up for, but… I didn't want to see him in prison for a long time." said Vanessa.

Harry shrugged. "I dunno, I sort of… I sort of thought of Sirius. No one was there to defend him, and he was innocent. I may not like Draco very much, but he's mostly innocent."

Vanessa smiled. She gave Harry a small hug, which he returned. "Thank you."

Harry nodded and then swept away. Vanessa turned back to her friends and Kingsley. "All right, I'm ready." she said. Kingsley led her down to the holding cells below the Wizengamot. She shuffled past loads of Death Eaters, curled in their cells, some muttering to themselves. She followed Kingsley down another corridor, a rather empty one, full of cells. She stopped before Draco's.

He sat on the bench, elbows perched on his knees and his face in his hands. Vanessa cleared her throat. "Draco." she murmured.

Draco looked up, his eyes red and puffy. He stood and crossed to the doorway. "I only got one month," he said. "I… I can't thank you enough for defending me."

Vanessa softened. "Draco, of course. I… I couldn't stand by and let this happen to you. I'm sorry that you're still having to go."

Draco pursed his lips grimly. "I deserve some punishment for what I did," he muttered.

Vanessa's eyes burned, threatening to spill over with tears. "I'll visit you as much as I can."

Draco shook his head. "Nessie, I don't want you to go out there."

"You can't change my mind." Vanessa argued. "You shouldn't have to suffer there all alone."

Draco sighed and pressed his forehead against the bars. "I know I can't change your mind." he murmured, his tone warming.

Vanessa reached through the bars to touch his cheek. "It'll be all right."

Draco's brow puckered with a scowl, but he said nothing. His expression softened as tears filled his eyes. "Nessie, I never told you how sorry I am for torturing you. I wish I had been brave enough to stand up to her."

"I told you to do it," said Vanessa. "There's nothing to forgive."

Draco's gaze darkened. "Our earlier years at Hogwarts? All those times I made fun of you and tore apart our friendship because I was an arse?"

"You admitting it is apology enough," said Vanessa, sighing.

"Nessie," Draco muttered. "You'll never know how truly sorry I am for hurting you. I should've been kinder to one of the few people I actually care about."

Vanessa frowned. "Draco… You have plenty of time to make it up to me now." she teased. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek through the bars.

"All right, that's enough." said Kingsley. Vanessa offered Draco a half smile.

"See you soon." she promised. Draco nodded, his eyes welling with tears. Vanessa didn't let her own tears fall until she had left the holding cell area and reached Laurel and Blaise outside.

…

I know that technically Draco didn't serve time in Azkaban, but the whole 'selling-each-other-out-and-we-get-off' kind of justice system presented in the series doesn't make sense because then either a.) all Death Eaters would be in Azkaban or b.) no Death Eaters would be in Azkaban. And some deserve it more than others, so… Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, please review!