so i like the way that this chapter turned out. It's actually better than i expected. Hopefully everyone likes it and also thank you all for voting! it really really helped!

ummm...yeahhh read it!

Softly we tremble tonight,
Picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left in sight.
I said I'd never leave you'll never change
I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in life.

Am I supposed to be happy?
When all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
Am I supposed to be happy?
When all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.

Cat and Mouse, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Chapter 11

Past, Present, and Future

3 years later…

I finished up my shift at the Red Flame Coffee Shop and quickly headed home in my car, trying to beat the New York traffic jam that usually occurred after my late shifts. I hate Wednesdays for that reason, traffic jams. Being extremely impatient doesn't help me at times like this. I slammed my head against my steering wheel while I sat there unmoving. This would take at least an hour. Well the only thing I can do now is look at the bright side; at least I'm off for the next couple of days and school's finally over with. College is so much easier than high school I think. Throughout my whole two years at LaGuardia High School I had to go through studying about art's history and who sculpted the first sculpture, stuff like that which is extremely boring. I mean it does help when you want to have a career in the field of art, but now that I'm in college I can do whatever I want. So, basically now I'm painting up a storm. Every day I come into class and paint away. I've gotten a lot better ever since I started school at the Art Institute of New York City. My drawing skills have helped me in so many ways so now I can paint. My dad calls me the next Picasso. Yeah, I highly doubt that I'll be as great as Picasso…

I honked my horn at the person who basically just cut me off, "Bitch!" I screamed at the blonde woman.

She flicked me off and then she went on her way. New York is a tough city and I feel like I've grown some tough skin ever since I moved here and ever since…well…the whole incident with a guy I no longer speak of. When I first moved here I felt like nothing, but then I started school and I met new people like my boyfriend of two years, Sean, and my best friend, Alana.

I put my Bluetooth in my ear and went into my contacts list, going over a bunch of names and stopping at one in particular…Jacob. We haven't talked in a while. Why I keep his number in my phone, I have no idea, but whenever I do go into my contacts list to call someone I stop at his name and think about the last conversation I had with him…

(Start of Flashback)

"Hello?" his voice sounded deeper and really different.

"Hey Jake," I said, calmly. I keep telling myself not to lose contact with him. But it's been difficult because he told me he would call me and he hasn't. I think it's been about three weeks since I talked to him last.

He sighed, "Sammy?"

I rolled my eyes, "Do you have caller ID Jake?"

I heard him chuckle, well that's one person who hasn't changed, "Yeah, but you sound different."

"I could say the same to you," I smiled and took a deep breath. I was afraid that he was going to hate me like the rest of them.

"How's school been?" he asked.

"It's been good, really good actually. I met this guy, Sean," I daydreamed about Sean for a moment before I heard Jacob growl on the other line.

"You met someone?" ok, that was unexpected…

"Am I sensing a little jealously here Jacob Black?" I teased.

He took a deep breath, "No, I'm not jealous…" he muttered something to himself that I couldn't quite understand, "What happened with this Sean guy?" he sounded a little angry.

"He kind of…asked me out. Like on a date. I mean I don't know if I should, but maybe it's a good idea since I've been trying to get over you know who."

I waited for his response and he hesitated to respond, "Don't you think it's a little…soon?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. Why the hell is he acting like my father? "No, the sooner the better. He told me to forget about him," I flinched at the memories, "So, that's what I'm doing."

Another growl came from the other line and I started to get confused with the way he was acting. It was like he didn't want me to get over…you know who. And before this he used to tell me that I should meet some guys. Hypocrite much?

"Fine," he said, "I can't stop you. Just…be careful Sammy."

I got even more confused, "Ok," I agreed even though I didn't know what he meant.

"Look, I got to go," he sighed, "Bye Sammy."

"Um…bye," and then he hung up on me and I sat there in silence.

(End of Flashback)

I quickly went to Sean's number and called him, closing my eyes so that I wouldn't think about Jake anymore. But God, I miss him…

"Hey baby," Sean's voice brought me back to reality and I inched forward a little, "How was work?"

I groaned, "Tiring. I'm trying to keep myself awake right now. I don't know how I'll make it through this traffic jam without falling asleep."

"Maybe we shouldn't go to the party tonight."

"Are you kidding? It's Alana's birthday and it's a surprise party, I can't miss this. Besides, I got her a gift and everything," I immediately protested.

"Ok, ok," he chuckled, "Forget I even said that."

I smiled, "What time are you coming to my house?"

"Seven," he said.

I looked at the clock on my radio, 4:41, "I should be home by then. My dad's going out with his buddies tonight so it shouldn't be a problem," I yawned, feeling exhausted.

"I'll give you a massage when I get there. You sound like you need it."

My smile grew wider, "I love you," I said.

"Love you too," he replied.

Finally the street opened up a little more and I continued on down the road towards my house.

"Samantha?" I heard him shout on the other line and my eyes immediately widened.

"Huh?" I really don't know how I'll make it through this party…

"Did you hear anything I just told you?" he laughed.

"Umm…maybe…could you say it one more time?"

"I'll tell you when you get home just focus on driving right now."

I sighed, "Ok, fine."

"Bye, stay awake," he said.

I grinned, "I will," and then I hung up and kept my eyes on the road in front of me.

I managed to make it back to my house by five thirty which left me enough time to get ready before Sean came over. I wore one of my best dresses that was a deep blue color with sparkles all over. I went into my drawer and took out a pair of my earrings that matched my dress

I finished getting ready and suddenly I heard a knock on the front door.

"It's open!" I shouted while I stared myself down in the mirror. Soon enough I saw Sean's tall figure behind me. His light brown hair hung over one of his blue eyes and his smile made me smile.

"You look beautiful," he commented.

I blushed, "Thanks," I turned towards him and pecked him on the lips once, "I just have to get the present and then we can go."

He nodded his head and followed me as I walked towards my bed and searched through my stuff, looking for the small gift. I wasn't the neatest person around so I usually just threw stuff under my bed and ever since I came back home for the summer I didn't really organize things correctly. I bent down onto my knees and took a bunch of stuff out from under my bed until I finally found what I was looking for.

"What's this?" I heard Sean ask.

I turned around and saw my old sketchbook in his hand, watching as he flipped through the pages, "It's nothing."

He looked at me with a weird expression on my face before he looked back at the book and turned it around so I could see it. Of course, it had to be the one page I didn't want to see. I stared at it and felt my heart sting a little when I saw his smile and his eyes.

"Doesn't look like nothing to me," he stared at me and waited for me to say something, but I couldn't do anything right now, "Who is this?" he asked.

Sean has never acted jealous before and I think this is the first time that I knew he was, "It's no one…he's no one," I grabbed the book out of his hand and threw it back under my bed, "Let's just go," I grabbed his wrist and tugged him towards the door and thankfully he didn't try to stop me…

The party seemed endless to me, but when I tried to get Sean to take me home he would tell me that we just got there. Don't get me wrong it was fun and all, but I was exhausted and I just wanted to go home so I could sleep. Sean didn't seem to want to do that though, so I stayed and talked to Alana and the rest of my friends.

It was around midnight when we finally left and I was about ready to go to sleep when we were in the car, but there was one thing that prevented me from dozing off and that was the drawing Sean found. Out of all the things I had under my bed he had to see that one thing, the one thing that brought back too many painful memories. I couldn't shake the images of him out of my mind and I couldn't stop thinking about…Paul. Even thinking his name hurt. This whole time I thought I was over him and I thought that I was done with the pain, but it seems that I was wrong because I started to feel the hole all over again. I put my hand over my heart and closed my eyes.

"You ok?" Sean asked.

I nodded my head and kept my eyes closed, trying to make the pain go away.

"Well" he started to say, "I've got some news."

I opened my eyes and realized that the car was stopped in front of my house, "What is it?" I completely forgot that he wanted to tell me something.

By the smile he was wearing I knew that it had to be good news, "Over the past couple of weeks I've been sending pictures of your paintings and trying to call all these art galleries to get one of your pieces displayed…" he trailed off and I waited for him to continue but he didn't.

"And?" I sat up and turned towards him, the anticipation was unbearable at this point.

"And…" he paused, "There's this one gallery called Landings Art Gallery that told me they would love to meet you so they could decide whether or not you're worthy of having your piece in the gallery."

I screamed at the top of my lungs and unbuckled my seatbelt, wrapping my arms around him as tight as I could, "Are you serious?" I tried to contain my excitement.

"As serious as I could be," he kissed my cheek.

"Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I kissed him multiple times to let him know how much I really appreciated what he did for me.

He laughed at my reaction, "You're welcome."

I pulled away from him for a moment and couldn't erase the smile that was plastered on my face. The pain I was feeling a couple of minutes ago had completely faded and now it was replaced by excitement. I was getting the opportunity of a lifetime, "When do they want to meet me?" I asked.

"They told me they can see you in two weeks leaving us enough time to get there and settled in a place."

I took in what he was saying for a moment and put on a serious face now, "Wait…settled in a place-,"

He interrupted me by kissing me on the lips, "Don't worry, I already found a place we can both afford and I'm going to find a good job so we can pay the rent."

I was surprised that he had planned this out already and was able to keep this to himself for however long he's known about it. I nodded my head and before I could say anymore he got out of the car and opened my door for me with the biggest grin on his face. As we walked up to my door I thought about what this all meant. This is something that every artist dreams about and to think that I, a nineteen year old college student, might actually have one of my pieces displayed in an art gallery is just so surreal. But wait…

"Where is this place?" I asked just as we walked up the last step.

"Port Angeles, Washington," he kissed me on the lips once and then he smiled, "Call me and let me know if you're up for it."

I stood there, dazed and confused, "But…the houses in Port Angeles are extremely expensive. We could never afford that."

"I know, which is why I looked at houses in this Native American reservation close to it," he chuckled, "Night babe."

And then I was left there alone to deal with the crazy thoughts that were running through my head. Of course, out of all the places where there was an art gallery that one place had to be the one that wanted my piece. Sean didn't know any better because well…I never told him about my past. I figured it would be easier for us to have a relationship if I didn't tell him about that place. And right now, I feel like kicking myself for not telling him. Now I have to deal with the fact that I could possibly be moving back to the one place that holds all of those painful things I thought I had gotten rid of.

yeah so that's the way i decided to go...tell me what you think ;]