The next chapter lovelies. I loved your reviews by the way.

WARNING! Some disturbing scenes below.

I couldn't move. I could barely breathe. So I just stayed there. Frozen.

Why?! Why now?! Why ever?! Why!? Were the only things that could process in my mind as I stared at my parents in frozen fear.

My father marched towards me furiously and gripped my arm tightly as he hauled me up.

I flinched and tried to get out of his death grip. Because it hurt. Because it made me remember the last time I was near him. When I was thrown out with bruises and covered in blood. When-

I stopped myself before I could have a flash back.

Please don't. Please please please let me go. Please let go. I wanted to plead him. I wanted to run away. But I couldn't. I could barely move as those black eyes stared at me with anger so strong I was sure it could burn the whole town if it had to.

"Alexander! You're in public!" His hand collided with my cheek making me flinch and tears form in my eyes. "You stupid! Useless! Fag!" He spat.

I flinched on every one of his words like they were a punch. I think that if he punched me it would have been better.

I tried struggling again but it didn't work. He didn't let go. He only started dragging me away. "You didn't learn the last time did you?!"

At his words the flashbacks started and with them so did the tears. I sank my nail into the heels of my palm as I continued to struggle. I could feel the pain and the warm blood as I pierced the skin and I welcomed the pain with open arms.

"Please." I said through my tears. "Please let go. I beg of you. Please."

I could still remember the pain his fist made me feel as it collided with my chest the last time. The angry and disgusted words he said as he hit me again and again and again until I was close to unconsciousness. The-

Suddenly his hand was off of me and I looked up to see a blurry looking Magnus-because of the tears-shaking one of his hands while my father backed off a few steppes rubbing at his cheek and looking shocked.

"You don't touch him." Magnus said staring at my father angrily. More angry then I have ever seen him get.

Did Magnus…Did he just hit my father?! I thought in shock. Magnus just hit him! Because of me.

My father looked up and him and then at me. His eyes looking deadly. He looked like he was ready to kill.

In seconds I was running. Running as fast as I could. Away from him. Away from them both. Away as fast as my lags could carry me.

"Alec!" I heard Magnus call after me but I didn't look behind. I didn't look at him even though I knew he was right behind me. "Alexander!" He continued calling me but I just continued running.

My hands were itching for a blade like never before. I needed it. I needed the pain to stop.

The blood continued to drip from where I pierced my shin with my nail. The pain was subduing though. But I didn't care. I couldn't get myself to care.

I could barely see anything as I ran to our apartment and into the bathroom. Locking myself in.

I leaned onto the door. Feeling like I'm going to shatter any moment. Trying to even out my breathing. Trying to get the pain to stop.

"Alec!" Magnus sounded panicked as he banged on the door. "Alec! Alexander! Open the door Alec! Alec, baby please open up!"

I turned the water on and rubbed the blood off of my hands furiously. It needed to get off. All of the blood. All of the evidence. Everything just needed to wash away.

"Alexander!" Magnus continued banging on the door as I rubbed my hands until fresh blood started flowing from the wounds.

I felt like screaming. I clawed at my hair and fisted it, tugging furiously as I gasped for breath. I felt like I was choking.

I knew I needed to calm down. Even my breathing. But I couldn't. I couldn't stop this pressure I felt over my chest. Couldn't stop the feeling of disgust coming over me.

I furiously looked around. Looking for something. Anything.

I stopped when my eyes found something I was desperate for. The only thing that can wash the pain away.

A razor blade.

It was just sitting there. Just at arm's reach. Just resting there. Calling me. Tempting me.

Without my consent I reached for it with a shaking hand.

I didn't even try to stop myself. Not this time. Imagining the sweet blissfulness that only a blade can give me. And wanting it so badly it hurt.

My hands stopped shaking as the all too familiar cold object found itself in my hand. It felt good. It felt safe. It felt like home.

I sighed in relief as I pressed the sharp blade onto my forearm. That first cut making everything a lot better. Making me feel better.

The banging on the door turned into a background noise as I slashed the blade through my skin.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

The cuts were long and deep. I wanted to feel the blissfulness and the numbness come over me as fast as possible. The flashbacks and the pain to stop.

And they did.

As I watched the blood flow and the blade fell on the floor with a cling. I could feel the sweet nothingness coming over me.

The blissfulness.

The numbness.

The blackness.

The last thing I heard as the darkness took me was the loud bang, shattering of wood and door hitting the wall.

Did you like it?! I did the best I could with it. Review and tell me what you think.

The next chapter should be up Saturday if I get enough reviews.

And for those of you who are reading Wrong but right or The Unexpected I'm sorry for the delay but those too should be updated then. I'm done with school so I should be able to post frequently again.