I could only stare at the ceiling of my room, watching the minutes tick by and the day age progressively. Possibly four hours have passed. I haven't rest a wink since I left the village and my body was on the edge of utter exhaustion but my mind was far from rest.

My position was irrevocable, I found out after an hour or so in the assembly, despite the fact that Sesshomaru crawled his way out of hell. Although I immensely hate the court I couldn't agree more with their logic. I wanted Sesshomaru to have full leadership again. I fulfilled my part of the deal by becoming his heir. Yet I saw no point in maintaining that position if he was alive again and could do a much better job.

Though I was overwhelmed with dread and uncertainty, something was nagging me from the inside. So that I could only stare at Sesshomaru from across the room until his face melted and contorted into my room's ceiling and realized I had fled here.

My head and chest were out of control, going this way and that, slowing down, stopping then resuming all completely. Through all this I wanted to sleep, rest and wake up as if nothing had happened. I was afraid of interpreting my thoughts or the rush of terror that overcame me when I imagined the future and the unknown.

But I think what I was dreading the most was knowing I had to face Sesshomaru eventually.

Unconsciously my eyes started to close until all I could see was darkness. My lids were so heavy it was impossible for me to open them. Then exhaustion overtook me until I was consume completely.

I was startled awake by a jolt in my stomach I don't know how many hours later. Jaken was hovering on top of me like an old frog. If it weren't for the fact that I was extremely exhausted I would have punched him in the face. I quickly forgot, though, once I realized I wasn't in the village sleeping inside my hut. Suddenly I remember the last twenty four hours and the dread was back again. I was leader of the western lands.

"Rin!" he bickered, leaning in to examine my face. I felt the blood rush all to my head. I needed to get out of here. Need to breath. Think.

I stood, ignoring him completely and making my way to the bathroom. Maybe if I dabbed my face with water I could get my thoughts together.

"Rin, I have important news to tell you," he shrieked, activating the headache of the last twenty four hours.

I whirled, unable to control my anger. "Do you annoy Sesshomaru this much in the morning?"

I slammed the bathroom door before I could see his face. Twenty minutes later when I came out he was still there. I sighed, my shoulders slumping. I wanted to take a day to rest up and gather my strength. Get all of my pieces together before I faced the court again.

As if nothing had happened Jaken came to me, head raised a little higher. "Are you ready to listen?"

I sighed again, knowing that being the new leader meant Jaken was going to be perpetually glue to me.

Taking that as an answer Jaken began, "You are well aware that Shishiro was a traitor, as Lady Chima and although you are the new leader of the western lands you still need to educate yourself." He made a pause as if preparing me. "Since you could not finish your lessons I took it upon myself to school what is left."

The pulse in my head increased.

I wanted to leave the assembly room behind and go to the gardens behind the library. My garden now, I supposed. But Jaken wanted to begin my lessons right away. Throughout the assembly I felt an inkling suspicion that he was waiting outside for me. Although the lectures and procedures that were going on inside were torture I'd rather be here than have to spent two hours hearing Jaken go on and on about nothing in particular.

I wanted a moment of peace. It seemed my new leadership was more hectic then I thought. Yet, a day ago I was prepared for it. Being occupied would take my mind out of my lost. But now that Sesshomaru was back it felt suffocating. Not only because of the pressure the position brought but because Sesshomaru was there to see me fail at it if I did.

It felt frustrating to say the least. I wanted my friends to be there and encourage me but I stormed out yesterday and they probably didn't know what had been the cause. When I began forming a letter in my mind explaining all I've been through and how I planned to visit them if I ever found the time the assembly ended.

Before I could make out my movements I wedged myself between the members of the court to keep cover. In the hallway I saw Jaken, leaning his head inside the assembly room, trying to see if I was still inside. I tried to hold my smile as I created distance between us.

Seven minutes later I was sitting in a patch of grass, my hands working with some sunflowers and daffodils, my eyes set to the clouds. It was a thing I started to do back at the village to relax and distracted me from the war and Sesshomaru. The moment felt tasteless to me, though, no matter how many times I braided the flowers together.

Jaken had his vengeance the next morning when he gave me lessons until the sun started to set- stating that he was giving me yesterdays and today in one sitting so I wouldn't get behind with the material. And so forth the days that came were the exact routine. Hours of blabber that didn't stick to my brain. Assemblies and gathering with the court to discuss things that felt unreachable.

Despite how torturous it was I was okay with it. I still haven't seen Sesshomaru. With half of my day devoted to the court and the other half to my lessons I barely had time for myself.

The assembly was still discussing the terms to the treaty now that we- or me, to be more exact- decided that that was our best approach. And though Sesshomaru hasn't shown since the day he rose from hell I always sit on the edge of my seat anticipating him to burst through any second. Once they end I practically bolt through the double doors- gracefully, of course- until I reach my room where Jaken awaits me. In all honesty I don't know what I was afraid of.

When I get there I saw Jaken waiting by the door. I quicken my pace. He always waits for me inside.

When I'm at a reasonable distance he started with, "Today I will discuss the history of the lands, palace structure and other land locations outside of our perimeters."

No, no, no. "Why are you outside?"

"I will give you a tour of the lands and the palace." Jaken answered simply, starting in one direction.

"But I already know my way around." I countered. This cannot happened. I need to avoid Sesshomaru.

"Of course you do. But do you know at what cost?"

"Jaken-" I started to protest, my voice pitching.

"This is a requirement. Come, don't pout." And like that he started to walk away.

I gulped. Having no other choice, I started to drag my feet towards Jaken.

After an hour and a half of uninterrupted lectures and none ending discussions that I didn't quite care about we stopped at the garden. I hesitated, not sure why we were even here. This wasn't an important land mark. In fact, I was sure it was just a decorative asset added to the back of the palace.

"This garden," Jaken began slowly, walking towards a random path, "was founded fifteen years ago."

Something nagged at me. I wasn't sure if it was the way he paused or the way his voiced lost interest like it does when things concern me. "Why?"

Jaken stopped at a patch of daffodils and started to pluck one at random. He looked bored. "Well, isn't it obvious? For you child." I was taken aback. I felt air leave my lungs.

More quietly I asked, "Why?"

"He wanted you to have your own garden." Jaken didn't have to specify who he was.

My garden was my garden all this time, even before my leadership.

My throat closed up, fiery anger starting at my chest. I wasn't sure if it was the blinding anger or the boiling frustration that was spreading like a diseased through me. I tried to imagine my younger self- a version of me that could have been bothered with little details just like this. I took a deep breath. "Then he made a bad investment."

"So I've told him," he said disinterested. He waved a hand as if indicating his surroundings. "Anyways, it has grown over the years. It's twice as big then it originally started."

"Jaken," a voice said from behind.

My right hand twitch from the restraint of maintaining control. I told myself that lashing out was not the answer. I breathed in as I turned to face Sesshomaru.

He stood there like the physical manifestation of air and sunlight. He was all white, like a passing cloud over a dark sky. His hair tied, his composure graceful. But his eyes, they told another story. Suddenly I wanted to know how hell looked like. Wanted to ask if he burned his feet when he walked in its burning playground. I wanted to tell him-

"Hello, Sesshomaru," I said politely, inclining my head.

"Lady Rin," he bowed his head just the slightest.

I wrinkled my nose. I hated his formality.

"My Lord!" Jaken rushed to his side, his eyes practically glowing. "Do you need anything?"

Sesshomaru was only looking at me when he spoke. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm resuming Rin's lessons. Today I'm dissecting land marks and structure. Just a second ago I was discussing the garden's origins."

At that Sesshomaru quickly darted his fierce stare. Quietly he repeated, "The garden…"

A scowl started to twist my face. What did that meant?

"Yes, well," the moment I started I knew I was going to regret it but I couldn't help myself, "I was telling Jaken that it had been a bleak investment."

Sesshomaru's stare practically snapped back to mine. I've never seen him look so scandalized before. "Bleak?"

I would have laugh if I weren't so nervous. I tried to look bored but my knees were trembling. "I wouldn't have spent those resources constructing a garden. I would have found a better use. Don't even know why it's considered an important landmark." I shut my mouth before I kept ruining it further.

Sesshomaru's eyes were fix on the ground now. I wanted to swallow so badly but I knew he'd notice. "Perhaps you have a point." He turned to Jaken and bowed. "Continue on."

I just stood there as he walked away. I could only watch, wondering if we were really taking about a garden.

a/n: sorry I took so long, medical reasons (sad face) but here it is: a premise of what is to come. I know it isn't that much but tell me if you are excited for more. I wanted to set a foundation of Rin's uncertainty, and for upcoming chapters denial. I also wanted to introduce one important setting (the garden) that, I think, probably, fifty percent sure, most of their confrontation is going to play out as well as scandalizing scenes. Ahhahaha for Jaken maybe. I'm not making any promises, it all depends on how well I develop the idea in my mind, but maybe next chap Sesshomaru could replace Jaken in one or two lessons, wont that be cool? If you find Substitute in your newsfeed as 13 chap tittle then it meant I made it happen. Until then!