Chapter 12

The day began in an unusual way. With a little less than two hours of sleep Harry felt a hand shaking him roughly. He opened his eyes and saw a mass of hair on top of a large head bending over him. He reached for his glasses instinctively and the wand that he'd hidden beneath his pillow.

"It's me Harry. Wake up. It's early but it's best to go now whilst everyone else is asleep."

He knew the voice immediately.

"Hagrid?" The face came into view when he slipped the glasses on.

"Tha's right Harry," Hagrid answered. "We need to go right away."

"Where are we going?" Harry asked looking around the room. It seemed like Hermione and Ron had just left him. They had been clever to remove any evidence of the films they watched the previous night and on into the morning hours.

"I'm to fetch ya and take ya someplace safe on Dumbledore's orders," Hagrid answered. "It's not safe to let you stay here or ride the Hogwart's Express and ye can't do yer shopping in Diagon Alley right now. That's all bein' taken care of."

"What about Hermione and Ron?" Harry asked dropping his feet into slippers.

"They'll be followin' shortly," Hagrid said lifting him to his feet by the shoulder of his pajamas and handing him his clothes.

"No time for a shower?" Harry grumbled squinting through sleepy morning eyes.

"No Harry, we best get moving quickly now," Hagrid grumbled, "afore it gets light out."

"What about my things?" Harry asked stripping down to pants and pulling on clothes that were being tossed at him from across the room.

"It's all been arranged." Hagrid tossed a jumper to him and threw open the door. "Meet ya downstairs in two minutes. Wear the warm clothes."

"But it's the end of July…" Harry began to protest, and his protest faded as he turned and found the room empty, "…and it's warm out."

He met Hagrid in the hall at the foot of the stairs and noticed that the house was still sleeping. Hagrid held his index finger to his lips, nodded at the infamous Black portrait covered by the drapery and opened the front door. They made their way down the stairs. Sitting at the bottom was a shining chrome-encrusted motorcycle.

Hagrid climbed aboard and sat looking at Harry.

"What? Are we taking this?" Harry asked in surprise.

"We are. Climb aboard Harry and hold on," Hagrid straightened the front bars.

Harry went around behind him and found a small portion of the seat waiting for him. He'd flown on a broom, a hippogriff, in an enchanted car and on thestrals. He thought that perhaps his days of experimenting with flying objects was over. Now he was presented with a motorcycle and Hagrid was driving- no- flying it.

What else can happen, he wondered. "What's this about Hagrid," he asked in a low voice.

"Can't tell you Harry. After yer safe, then we'll talk." Hagrid reached for something under his heavy coat and pulled out his pink umbrella. "Just like old times Harry. The first time I ever drove this was when I brung ya to yer aunt and uncle's house when you were just a baby. Oh and happy birthday Harry!" And with that the engine started with a roar and they spun around in the street leaving a trail of black smoking tire marks. They were air-born and headed out into the dark night sky moving towards a peach-colored dawn.

Harry held onto the musty smelling coat and let the early morning brisk air clear the sleep from his mind. They were flying high and were small enough not to be noticed from the ground. It dawned on him that he didn't like sudden changes in his schedule. First, Snape had arrived unexpectedly at number four Privet Drive and then Hagrid at #12 Grimmauld Place.

He considered the situation as they flew into the dawn. They were moving him around, Dumbledore was moving him from place to place. If they were doing that then it meant that the Black mansion was no longer safe. He shouted at Hagrid and knew that the wind carried the sound away. Angry with frustration he gripped tighter and waited.

He noticed when the cycle began its descent. He bent slightly to the side and watched the land rise up to meet them. It appeared that they were landing in an uninhabited area. Even from such a height he saw very few homes. They landed with a gentle thump on a unpaved road and the tires immediately kicked up dirt and the sounds of the engine pierced the early morning peace.

They rode for ten minutes until Hagrid turned the motorcycle up a curved road that was shaded by tall spreading oak trees. At the end of the drive stood a large stone house, ancient in origin.

They pulled in front of the front door and stopped. Harry felt the stiffness as he dismounted and faced the wooden front door. Before he could turn and speak the motors were fired up and Hagrid took to the road leaving him there.

Hagrid, you git! He thought to himself as he watched the clouds of dirt that was the moving cycle. Where am I?!

A noise brought him swinging around until he faced a very old man holding onto a dead chicken by the legs and scratching his chest with the other. He wore a set of farmers overalls and was slightly bent when he walked. The first thing Harry noticed were the starling blue eyes, the snow white hair and the roguish cap he wore on his head.

The man stopped short at seeing Harry standing in front of his door. "Oh hello. Can't stop to talk. I'm expecting a visitor you see and I must prepare this chicken for his supper."

Harry frowned and stepped back away from the front door as the old man hurried forward. "I think I am to be your company sir," he said hesitating.

The old man turned and peered at him, tilting his head back. "Are you? Albus said you were a child. Course you don't look like a child, a young man perhaps, but not a child."

"I'm Harry," Harry said.

"Yes, yes you are." The older man pushed open the door and stepped through.

Harry followed mildly disconcerted by the odd man. The house was unique in its' interior. The rooms were very large and high. So much so that the furniture made of rough hewn wood and large soft plump floral pillows seemed tiny in comparison. He was used to the big halls and rooms at Hogwarts and this seemed to be similar, but out of character for a farm house.

Harry followed the aged man into a kitchen area and noticed that he had evidently arranged things to accommodate his own stature. Pots and pans hung from the walls and sideboards were covered with crockery and dishes. The man dropped the chicken on a table and began to eviscerate it. He mumbled to himself as he chopped and cut away at the fowl.

"Who are you by the way?" Harry asked standing on the other side and watching.

The sound seemed to take the man by surprise and he glanced up from his work. "Well hello. Didn't hear you come in. Can I help you?"

"Aberforth it's Harry Potter!" A voice spun Harry around and Remus Lupin entered the room. "Hello Harry," he smiled briefly and joined them at the table.

"It's Harry Potter, our guest. He's not had any breakfast and I think he might be hungry." Lupin spoke loudly and the old man jumped a little.

"Oh breakfast. Yes, yes, coming up." Aberforth Dumbledore swung around and with a sweep of his hand had the tea kettle on the stove, sausages frying in a pan and toast and jam set on the table. "Not but a minute it'll be. Make yourself at home."

Remus took Harry by the arm and led him to a table setting at a window overlooking a garden.

"Is that Dumbledore's brother? Is this Dumbledore's house?" Harry asked watching the man.

Remus nodded. "He acts like he's a bit potty, but he's not. He's quite sharp but very eccentric. He doesn't hear very well but then he's older than Albus and getting on in his years. Anyway, glad to see that you've arrived."

"Where have I arrived Remus?" Harry asked.

Lupin smiled briefly again and looked around the room. "This is Hagrid's parents house. From time to time we have used these places, like the Black mansion…" he stopped and cleared his throat, "like Sirius' house because there are very few people besides the members of the Order who know where they are."

Harry nodded. "Will Hermione and Ron and Mrs. Weasley be joining us? Is there any danger…?" he stopped. The thought that the Members of the Order were moving him around concerned for his safety and no others made him feel terrible.

"Don't worry Harry," Remus answered. "They will join us. There was some concern that the house was vulnerable and we have taken the opportunity to move you closer to Hogwarts. They are coming at different times and on different routes. Hermione will pop in momentarily since she has learned to Apparate. Believe it or not Harry, Aberforth is a formidable wizard and you are very safe here with him."

Harry watched the wizard move about the kitchen and prepare his breakfast.

"Harry, while we are waiting I want to talk to you about the manuscript that Severus received early this morning." Lupin was watching him and Harry leaned back.

"Percy came to my aunt and uncle's house and gave it to me," Harry said immediately. There was no reason to lie about it or withhold information, he thought. At least not about the report. He would think about the films when he had a chance to talk to Ron and Hermione about them.

Remus nodded, "You didn't tell us about it the other day."

"I hardly knew what was happening did I Remus and there was very little in it that seemed important to me at the time," Harry countered.

Lupin nodded. "I understand. Actually there were some things that surprised us, having been a part of all of it at the time." He stopped and stared out the window and waited as Aberforth set two plates in front of them and cups with strong black coffee. Lupin pushed his plate away from him and leaned on the table, holding the cup in his hands like a mug. "Go ahead and have your breakfast. We can talk as you eat."

"I will Remus if you will finish telling me the story that you intended to tell me the other day. I didn't keep that report from you intentionally. Everything just happened quickly. You and Snape were going at it in a round about way and I couldn't get it in my head straight." Harry took his own coffee and sipped it. "I have questions too."

"Fair enough Harry," Remus said. "My apologies for the brandy episode." He smiled wanly again and pulled his plate towards him. Harry followed suit.

"Now that you are a member of the Order I feel free to say a few things that I could not have said before. You must understand that the Order was the governing force in our lives; mine and your parents, Sirius' and everyone." Lupin chewed thoughtfully and stared at his plate. "The report was accurate in that the Ministry was trying to shut us down. It searched as diligently for members of the Order as it did for Voldemort supporters." He stopped and held his hand up to Harry who was about to ask a question. "I know, I know. It doesn't seem reasonable that the Ministry would treat people who were against Voldemort as badly as they treated those that were for him."

Harry listened and ate his breakfast, saving his questions until he'd heard more.

"We were all questioned and of course no one revealed anything. It is part of our oath," Lupin said. "I keep saying that Harry because it was what helped us through some very difficult times and kept us from harm and it was also something that got in the way." Remus stared out of the window and handled his fork almost like a pointing stick.

"That report was surprising in a way. We had no idea how closely we were followed and observed. Severus in the alley with your mother is an example." he shook his head and mashed the eggs on his plate. "It was misinterpreted but still it was a chilling example."

Harry waited and leaned in as Lupin's voice dropped. The surroundings of the room seemed to fade into the background as he ate and listened.

"I couldn't be there for Sirius. I couldn't go to Azkaban. They threw him into that horrible place without so much as a trial. The Ministry did it because he was part of the Order, not just because they thought him guilty of killing Peter and the muggles that day. I was running a shop in Knockturn Alley. " He glanced at Harry. "People like me are accepted and even expected in those dingy streets. My task was really to have an ear to the ground and to pass information to the Order. To step outside of that at the time would have put a number of members in jeopardy." He poured himself more coffee and let it sit to cool on the table.

Harry had stopped eating altogether swept up in what he was hearing.

"No one knew that Severus was a member. We were very prejudiced because of the animosity that had developed while we were at Hogwarts." He said it and shook his head in disgust. "James worked in the background at the Ministry and Sirius wandered around trying to work with the purebloods while I was in the back alleyways mingling with the darker element. It was your mother who was the activist. She and Severus were working together to stop Voldemort. They were an assassination team." He stopped and stared out of the window at the green meadow and the freshly cut hay in the fields. The day was already getting warm and Aberforth had opened the doors and windows so that the smells reached them. He was busy plucking feathers from the chicken and a few of the downy ones drifted over the table.

"Remus?" Harry prodded.

"Oh, yes." Lupin took a deep breath. "One evening after a summer picnic she disappeared. It was the night of your first birthday Harry. Actually it was exactly 15 years ago to the day. I guess I didn't realize your birthday was today."

Harry nodded. He wanted to tell the man sitting across from him of the film, the last one they had watched. He had seen that garden party himself.

Lupin continued on. "We didn't get together often and we had a party for you and Ron and Neville. Your mother left early in the evening saying she had to meet with someone. That may sound odd, but in those days we all kept our business to ourselves. It was safer that way. Your father was not even privy to what your mother did. That night she left and one by one the other guests left. Your father and Sirius and I talked into the night. I enjoyed it immensely," Lupin said softly. "I had missed them you see. Nothing ever was like it was at Hogwarts. Those days had disappeared."

"Anyway I had just Apparated to my shop. I lived above it in a squalid little flat and I arrived home late. There was a pounding on the door of the shop below. The Ministry Law Enforcement wizards had been circling like vultures, raiding shops where they thought people were supporting or harboring Voldemort's Death Eaters, so I placed a protective charm around the shop. Anyway, I hurried downstairs and found your father beating on the door." Lupin once again pushed his plate aside. "It was your mother. She had been captured by Voldemort. I cannot tell you in words what it was like for him, for your father." Lupin stopped and dropped his head.

Harry studied the man. He knew that Remus was feeling the emotions of a man who had been in love with his mother.

"It was imperative that we find her," Lupin said after a moment, "and do it quickly before…before he had time to…" his voice dropped off.

"To torture her," Harry finished for him.

The gray-sandy haired man bobbed his head. He splayed his fingers across the top of the table. "I went to work, I went into the jungle…" Lupin looked up and continued, "into the depths of that world that Voldemort and those like him had made. A world of evil wizards and horrible creatures; creatures without souls- like the vampires that he used for his silent assassinations. Then there were the goblins, giants, werewolves, elves, and men. The wizards he used were the likes of which would make your heart still and your blood run cold in your veins. It is a hideous world. His Death Eaters were his elite army and they had their minions. I had spent a long time getting acquainted with them."

"Why are you telling me this Remus?" Harry asked gently.

"Because I want you to know what kind of man I really am. I want you to be clear what kind of people I associated with," Lupin answered.

"What does it matter Remus," Harry said, sitting back in astonishment. "Who you were and what you were is not connected to the truth. You said it yourself, you were a spy for the Order."

Remus smiled sadly and reached over and patted his hand, "I'm not sure that accounts for everything that I have done in my life or for the life I led. However, that is neither here nor there. Let me make this story short. It is hard enough to tell."

Harry nodded and folded his hands on the table.

Lupin continued. "I found the people I needed to, my connections, and began a search in earnest. James began to send misinformation immediately to the Ministry. We wanted to divert their attention away, to any event other than to what we were doing. The Ministry had a inept ability to always complicate the issue of capturing and doing something about Voldemort. James was sure they had someone in the inside who was helping Riddle to stay free. No one knew for sure but Bartemius Crouch was certainly using similar strategies and it was hard to tell who was more dangerous, the Ministry of Law Enforcement or Tom Riddle."

Lupin coughed and continued, "Anytime we got close to Voldemort he always managed to escape our clutches. But this night James and I had to find her, had to draw on our resources. Unfortunately, it was also the night that the war, the real one, got started. The Longbottoms were taken, wizards were being killed all over, and with each death, a green Dark Mark, a skull, was left hanging over the home or shop. It was a night of pandemonium."

"It was not that this had not happened before but it was certainly a full-out assault." Lupin said and stood, reached for his coffee that had now grown cold and stood in the doorway looking out over the field. Aberforth had stepped into the garden and was using a bucket and hosepipe to clean the chicken and scald its' remaining feathers. He looked like he was thoroughly enjoying the work.

Harry gathered his cup and joined Lupin. "Did you find her before he could hurt her?" he asked quietly. He was hoping that the next words that came out of Remus' mouth was a confirmation. He did not want to hear that his mother had endured torture at Voldemort's hands.

Remus turned to him, leaned against the doorway and paused before answering, "We found her. The circumstances are going to sound bizarre so I want you to listen and not interrupt."

Harry nodded and tried to slow his beating heart down to a gallop. He thought it was pounding so loudly anyone standing near would have been able to hear it.

"We found her. It was in an old abandoned house. Voldemort was there, so was Severus. He was using the Cruciatus Curse on your mother at Voldemort's instruction. He wanted the names of the members in the Order. You see she was caught in the same bind we have all been caught in. We all loved each other and it was our loyalty to each other that got in the way with our oath to the Order. We struggle to keep one and not break the other." Lupin turned to him and Harry could see the tears in his eyes and hear the break in his voice. "We did not know Severus was a member of the Order. She fought to keep him alive and keep his secret and she suffered greatly."

Harry listened, swallowed the lump in his throat and waited. He knew the worst was yet to come.

"You can't imagine Harry. Inseparable friends wrenched apart by distrust and rage and…and…shock." Lupin grasped the door and dropped his head, a sob escaping his lips.

He struggled to go on and gasped, "James and Severus fought. Riddle got away. You see the torture was a prelude to a planned assassination. Severus was to pretend to be inept and pressure Riddle to take over the torture. Lily had something Riddle wanted and it was to be forced from her. The very thing she carried was to be the instrument of Voldemort's death."

Lupin looked up directly into Harry's eyes. "Well that doesn't matter because we didn't know about it." He stopped and took a deep breath and then continued, "To go on. Let's see, what happened next…. well, Sirius saw what Snape had done to Lily and he wanted to kill him. I was trying to hold him back. James was enraged and attacked first. Your mother threw herself into it and tried to stop him. We didn't know why. We thought she might be under the Imperious Curse, or…or." He stopped again.

Harry filled in the blanks and whispered, "Or that my mother loved Snape more than she loved my father. That she was protecting him."

A deep voice behind them suddenly filled the empty silence between them. "Yes. She tried to protect me. She had sworn an oath to me that she would not reveal to Potter and the others that I was a member of the Order. Few knew." Harry turned and saw his Potion's professor standing in the room. Hermione stood behind him crying quietly. He knew they had been there long enough to hear most of the conversation.

"Potter and I dueled," Snape continued. "Your father should have known that Lily would never be disloyal to him. I knew it even though she did not love me. That was just the way she was. She could not hurt any of us, she loved us all, protected us…gave her life for us." He stepped across the room slowly never taking his dark eyes from Harry's face.

He spoke quietly, "She refused the Dark Lord three times. She refused to give the names of her friends, the members of the Order; Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. I was responsible for her torture that night. What we could not have anticipated was his ability to possess me."

Snape turned his eyes to the bright sunny garden that lay outside the door. "I thought I was strong enough, I thought I had practiced occlumency, was an adept Occlumens. There was a risk but we thought it would be small. We were wrong, he was much more clever than we thought possible. He possessed me and through me entered her mind. I was helpless as I watched him ripping at her thoughts. But she was strong. She held him off and he never learned of my betrayal." Snape turned to Harry.

They stood so close that Harry, now almost as tall as Snape, could look directly into his eyes. "He learned of the potion that she took to protect her and her sister. He did not know that the potion also protected the children born to the mothers nor the fact that it was I who brewed it and gave it to them. She was able, in her agony, to convince him that it was a potion that would not only protect her, but conveyed immortality. Through it all I doubted we could pull it off, but I was finally at the point when I thought we might be successful. He wanted it and she had a vial of it with her. It was not, however, the correct potion. It was a poison. We had yet to convince him of its authenticity when we were interrupted. The moment that Potter, Black and Lupin showed up, He disapparated."

Harry found himself taking a breath. He had been possessed and tortured by Voldemort and knew what it had cost Snape and his mother to play out their plan.

He heard Hermione speak behind him.

"You were both sent to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries…"

The three of them turned in unison to look at her.

"….but your friendships were affected by what had happened," she said gently.

Lupin nodded.

"She kept you all from turning to evil, to the dark arts. She took it on herself to put an end to Voldemort. That night, she knew that all of you had been wounded, knew that you thought that she had betrayed you." Hermione walked forward and kept speaking. "Sirius gave up hope. When Peter truly betrayed James and Lily, he went after him and didn't even try to prove his innocence. He went to Azkaban a broken man. You…," she turned to Remus, "you went back to the hole you had been living in, believing it was justly deserved, an outcast of society and finally separated from the only friends you'd ever had. All of you were lost to one another. And then James and Lily Potter died and you…" she stopped and stared up at Snape who looked down on her like a crow in a cornfield, "you. What about you? You kept the flames of hate burning didn't you Professor. Why?"

Snape's face twisted into something resembling a wounded beast. The words leaked from him as if he were the one being tortured. "I could not bear the thought that she died wondering if Potter had lost faith in her, had stopped trusting her because of me. It would have hurt her and I could not bear it. Black screamed at her that she was a traitor. I saw her turn to that miserable, arrogant twit of a husband. The man who was suppose to love and trust her. The man who turned away from her after she had endured hours of torture. She didn't try and explain. She walked away." Snape's voice broke. It was the only giveaway of the emotions that lie beneath the cold exterior.

"Sirius always seemed to make things worse." The words rushed form Remus. "James thought his world had fallen apart. He turned on Severus and they dueled. I was the one who stopped them before they killed each other and took them to St. Mungo's. Sirius was angry at James and me. He left and I didn't hear about him again until I 'd heard he was in Azkaban. I did not see Lily and James again before they were murdered." Lupin dropped his head once again.

"But why?" Harry murmured, feeling his mouth go dry with shock. He stared at Snape. "Why do you hate me so much?"

Snape turned and walked into the room. Hermione watched. He sat at the table just opposite from her. Hermione's mouth opened and it was as if Snape were using some type of ventriloquist magic. "You are too much like your father Harry." Hermione reached for a chair and sat opposite the unmoving figure of their professor. She continued, "He knows now that you are the weapon that must kill Voldemort. He is the only one that can get you close enough to do it." Her sad hazel eyes turned to Harry. "He must risk his life for you Harry and he is afraid that you will be like your father. He doesn't trust you."

Harry stumbled out into the garden, past Aberforth who had stopped his constant manhandling of the chicken and was now watching Harry curiously.

Oh mother! he cried silently. You must have felt so alone.

He didn't know how much time had passed before he heard her behind him. "Harry," Hermione was behind him. "I hate to disturb you I really do." Her voice was soft and he felt the pressure of her hand on his shoulder. "Ron's missing Harry. He should have been here with Mrs. Weasley. She arrived and he didn't. We don't know where he is."