1 month later

Olivia picked herself up from where she sat hugging the toilet. She could hear her phone ringing but where it was exactly, she didn't know. Walking into her bedroom, she went over to the side table where she usually left her cell only for it to not be there. As Adele's Rolling In The Deep grew closer and closer, her search for the phone became more frantic. Finally her fingers felt the coolness of the screen of her iPhone. She pressed the green square on the phone just in time.

"Hello?" She brushed a few strands of hair out of her face.

"Detective Olivia Benson." The gentleman's voice on the other line was deep. He paused because what he'd just said wasn't a question but he still wanted to make sure he had the right person before he spoke.

Olivia knew exactly who it was on the phone before he could even finish saying her name. "Yes?" without any realization, she clenched her butt cheeks together, squeezed her free hand into a fist and locked her jaw. All this nervousness was from her pending case. She confessed that she shot Trevor and it was in self-defense.

"You're cleared." Before Olivia could say anything, there was a click of the other phone hanging up and then her phone beeped signaling that the call had ended.

Even though she'd been on leave from the job for quite some time now, knowing that when she was ready to go back, she could was a great feeling. A smile was clear and bright as day on her face. Olivia quickly shook herself out of her thoughts. She pulled on her sweater and grabbed her car keys and was out the door in no time.

Jazlyn was in class sitting at a table alone during free time. She was used to it. Not knowing where she fit in was hard. Even in elementary school they had "cliques." There were the girly girls whose moms were the headliners on the PTA and were rich and spoiled. Then there were the boys who were…just boys. There were also the geeks and freaks. Jazz wasn't any of the above. She was a mix between a tomboy, book nerd, girly girl when she wanted to be but her school yard playtime digging up worms and threating to eat them could consider her a freak too. All in all, Jazzy was just…..Jazlyn.

"My mom said that she's the devils spawn." The red headed girl sitting at the table just behind Jazz spoke loud enough so that she was sure she was heard by everyone sitting around her. Her eyes slowly directed everyone to Jazlyn. She, Christina , was the leader of the group. It wasn't unusual that she was talking about someone. She got off on the power and making the other kids cry. She was the mean varsity cheerleader before she even got to high school. Today victim was Jazz.

"What does that mean?" Asked one of her "groupies."

The red head smiled and leaned into the table as if she were telling the girls a secret. "It means she's damaged good. At least that's what my dad said. He said to stay away from her cause hurt people can only hurt others." The girl smiled. She knew what she was doing. Her voice was loud enough so that the lonely girl sitting at the other table was sure to hear her.

"My parents said that her father liked having sex with little kids."

A round of ewww's was heard and if you looked closely, you would see the tears threatening to run over the brim of Jazzy's eyes.

Try as she mite, Jazlyn couldn't take it anymore. Just in the nick of time, the bell ran signaling that it was the end of the day. She slammed her book close and put it back on the shelf. As she walked by the table of girls, the look on her face was the exact same one you would see on Olivia's face when she alerting someone that they were pushing it.

The girls at the table looked as though they'd just seen a ghost. Then Christina laughed what was supposed to be her I'm not scared of you laugh but it came out sounding as nervous as she looked.

"Don't start nothin an there won't be nothin." Jazlyn stood only a few inches away from Christina's face. "Got it?" There was a smirk plastered on her face. Satisfied, she began walking over to the cubbies.

While the brunette shrugged on her backpack, the red head and the other girls stood and walked towards the door. Their teacher always made them line up single file at dismissal time. Jazzy was adjusting her bag when she was pushed into the cubby.

"No one's scared of you"

When Jazlyn stood again, the line was moving. She shed herself of her backpack and grabbed Christina out of the moving crowd.

"Why'd you do that for?" The brunette was fuming. Olivia was in the mixed of teaching her that not everyone needed to be "handled" as she called it.

"Ugh….whatever."

Giggles were heard from the girls standing behind. For a pack of ten year olds, they had some attitude. Christina laughed and turned again to walk out the door. In the process, her hair flipped and smacked Jazz right in the face. That right there was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Jazlyn grabbed Christina's arm and with as much force as her body could muster up, she swung her hand and it collided with the other girls face.

"Yeah, my dad was a perv, I'll admit it. But if I ever hear you talkin bout him, me or anyone else in my family again, I will make it my personal duty to make every day from here till the day. you. die a living hell."

Looking at the other girls, she stepped forward and they all jumped back. A satisfied smile washed across Jazz's face. She knew she'd catch hell for this but at the moment, she didn't care.

Olivia had just pulled up outside of the kid's school when she heard the bell ring. She still had a smile plastered on her face from the news she'd received before she left. While she sat at a stop light, she texted Elliot about the call and he was happy as well. She got out of the car and went to stand on the other side.

"Mom!"

Olivia's smile grew even more when she saw her son running her way.

"Hey, buddy." She ruffled his hair and then bent down to kiss his cheek.

Calvin tried his best to push his mother away before her lips touched him. He wiggled and squirmed but no luck. "Ewww MOM! "

"What?" She knew what and her laugh gave it all away.

"Come on mom. That's more embarrassing than when Tommy Miller pants' me in front of the whole lunch room." He was still wiping at his cheek only stopping to look around and check if anyone had just seen the violation his mother had just committed against his adolescents.

Olivia Chuckled. "Aye! Who taught you how to be so dramatic!" She leaned up against the car and waited for her other child to come out of the school.

"I wonder what's taking your sister so long." Olivia was thinking out loud. She'd seen Mrs. Alexander's class come out already but still no Jazlyn.

"Girls come on…."

Everyone's head shot up.

"What in the world is going on in here!"

"Shh….she tri….tried to..to…to kill me!" Christina was pointing towards Jazlyn.

"Oh please! I barely touched the girl!"

"HUSH!" Mrs. Alexander stood between the girls and tried her best to assess the situation.

"Now, one at a time, tell me what happened."

"She…"

"They…"

"I said ONE at a time. Chrissy, you go first."

"Pssht…sure you let her go first" Jazz rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest.

"Quiet!"

"Well Mrs. A, we were sitting at the table and out of nowhere Jazlyn came up to use and said that she was going to hurt me once everyone leaves. I didn't think she would really do it but when we were lining up for dismissal, I hit her by accident and then she went crazy and slapped me." Christina somehow managed to force a tear to roll down her cheek all the while forcing back a smile.

"Oh my god! You are such a LIAR!"

"Am NOT!"

"Oh please! I've pulled shit out my ass move believable than that….."

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone was startled by the loud voice.

"Now, did you hit her Jazlyn?"

"Yes but…."

"No buts. You know the rules and we've gone through this before. As long as you're in my class you will keep your hands to yourself unless you are participating in an activity that requires physical contact."

"Oh come on Mrs. A! I ain't do nothing she ain't deserve. She was talkin bout my…."

"There is no excuse for violence."

"But…"

"Stop!" The teachers voice was sharp and left no room for rebuttal. She turned to face the red headed girl and placed her hand under her chin. "Now, are you okay?" She bent over and examined the young girls face where there was a faint red mark beginning to form.

"Yes, I'm just so sorry that Jazlyn thought we were talking about her." The girls voice was so full of fake that even Mrs. Alexander didn't buy it.

"Sweetheart, save it. I spoke to your mother while I was outside. I overheard you and your friends talking about Jazlyn's father and I'll tell you right now, that too will not be allowed in my class room." She dropped her hand and stood straight again.

"I'm sorry Mrs…."

The older lady held up her hand "Save it Christina."

The redhead exhaled a frustrated sigh and her smirk was now a frown.

"You can huff and puff about it all you want young lady but that's not going to change what you did. And you also lied to me about it and you know I do not tolerate lying at all." The teacher quickly smoothed the invisible wrinkles in her skirt and then took both girls hands into hers and walked out.

"WHAT were you thinking slapping someone?"

"But Liv, she was talkin bout dad and in my defense, she started it. I told her not to mess with me and then she pushed me I…."

"I know what she said and I also know what I always tell you. It is NOT okay to hit people."

"Yes ma'am"

The puppy dog look on the little girls face nearly caught Olivia off guard. She'd never seen this from the girl. Usually Jazz would have a little fit and then stomp her way to her room and wait for her punishment. This time though, there were tears spilling over and Olivia couldn't help but to succumb to the girl's current emotions.

"Listen, I know since your father died it's been really hard. And this whole me adopting you had us all stressed." Olivia crouched down in front of the girl. "But that doesn't mean that you can go and take your anger and other emotions out on other. If you ever need to talk I'm here or if want to hit something, let me know and we'll figure something out but what you did today was not acceptable. Okay?"

Jazlyn nodded yes and leaned into Olivia for a hug. "Grrr... Sometimes I wish I would have never told you anything that dad did to me." She spoke into the woman's shoulder.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Olivia released her from the hug.

"Nothing. Never mind."

"No, it is something."

"Just forget it Liv."

With that, the girl fully detached herself from Olivia and quickly went to her room.

Olivia contemplated going after her child but decided against it. If she knew anything about this girl, it was that the more you hounded her about something, the more she shut down. She reminded Olivia so much of herself when she was younger.

Within the last month, they'd dealt with a lot and while Olivia did her best to make the transition easier for the kids, the truth is, there was nothing easy about this situation.

Olivia sighed loudly and then went about making dinner. Her phone buzzed and then chimed signaling a new text message.

Hey, I'm in the city. Okay if I stop by for dinner?

She thought about it. After this afternoon's events she didn't really feel up to entertaining but then again, there was something to celebrate. With the drama at Jazlyn's school, she'd forgotten all about IAB clearing her for duty earlier.

Okay. Bring desert. I'm making dinner.

She put down her phone on the counter and went over to the fridge to take out the defrosted meat. She was about to wash her hands when her phone vibrated again.

Okay, no problem. See you soon!

Olivia couldn't help but smile. Elliot lived miles away and yet over the past couple weeks you could find him over at her house having dinner and playing video games with the kids. At first it was hard on both her and the kids. But Elliot knew his place and not once did he over step his bounds. He always called or texted before he came over and made sure that her family had nothing short of a good time while in his presence.

Once she was sure everything was cooking, she walked down the hall to the kids bedroom. It was a Friday night and usually she'd let them watch tv from the time they got home from school until bedtime Saturday night if that's what they wanted to do because Sunday through Thursday, the tv was like a foreign object in their house. But Jazzy was clearly on punishment and with his sister not fighting with him over the remote you would think Calvin would have made a b-line to the living room, but instead Olivia was left to wonder what the boy was doing.

Knock knock

Olive poked her head in the door to her kid's room.

"Hey guys, Elliot is coming over."

She opened the door all the way only to find the two kids laying in Jazlyn's bed. Tear stains on the young girls face could be seen from where Olivia was standing. Her heart melted. Even though she was sleeping, you could still see the pain in her face.

Calvin looked up at the brown eyes looking at them. He slowly got up from the bed as to not wake his sister. When he reached Olivia across the room he answered her unspoken question.

"She came in here crying and I was going to just leave her alone and go play my video game but I couldn't. And then she fell asleep but she was still crying. I didn't know what to do so I rubbed her back and told her everything was going to be okay like you usually do when I'm having a bad day." There was no doubt that this was Olivia's son. She might not have given birth to him but since she'd adopted him, she saw more and more of herself in him as well.

"It's okay, why don't you go and keep an eye on dinner and watch some tv until Elliot comes. I'll be there in a minute."

Calvin smiled up at his mother and gladly left the room.

Olivia walked over to the sleeping girl. He eyes were twitching. She placed her hand on the girls shoulder and gently shook her until the once closed eyes were now open. Jazlyn got up from where she was laying and wiggled into Olivia's arms. No matter whether she was ten or twenty-five, in her mother's arms is where she felt the safest.

"Oh my baby."

Pressing her lips to top of Jazzy's head, all Olivia could do was cry along with the young girl. She knew this day was going to come. Through everything that had happened, Jazlyn never cried or complained. When Olivia asked her if she wanted to go talk to the child psychologist like Calvin did, she politely refused and said that if she needed to talk, she'd let the woman know. Calvin had already had his breakdown and it lasted him a day or two but after she noticed a change in him. He was happier.

All Olivia wanted was the same thing for her daughter. But she knew it wasn't that easy. It's been a month and she herself hasn't really coped with it. Maybe she needed to practice what she preached and go see someone her own self. Since she became a parent, Olivia realized that what she wanted should never come before what her kids needed. And right now more than ever, her kids needed her.

"What's the matter baby girl? Talk to me."

Silence filled the room. She knew that try as she might; the young girl wasn't going to budge until she felt like it. Jazlyn and Olivia sat right there slowly rocking back in forth with an occasional whimper escaping into the air until they'd heard the doorbell ring signaling Elliot's arrival.

"Hey kiddo."

Elliot walked over to the kitchen and placed the pastry box in the refrigerator. When he turned to face the stove, what he saw made his stomach growl. With a smile plastered on his face, he walked back to the living room where Calvin was.

"Where's your mom and Jazz?"

Elliot plopped down on the couch and picked up the PS3 controller.

"In the room. Jazzy got in trouble at school. She socked some girl in the face…"

"WHAT?" Elliot took his attention off the video game and was now staring at the boy.

"Okay, well she didn't really sock her but she defiantly slapped her from here to next week." Calvin chuckled and went back to playing his game. When he realized he was winning without even a fight he paused the game and turned to look at Elliot.

"Dude, what's the point of making me start the game over so you can play only for you to not play?"

Elliot shook out of his daydream and grabbed his remote again.

"Sorry dude"

"Yeah yeah. I should have just left you alone cause I'm gonna kick your butt anyway."

"Watch yourself kid, I've been practicing!" Elliot took this time to knock the boy controller out of his hand.

"Hay! No fair."

"Wah? I don't know what you're talking about." Elliot chuckled.

"Oh, it's on you old geezer!"

"I'll show you old."

When Olivia walked into the living room, her smile returned. Every time she saw Elliot playing with the kids she wondered what it would have been like if she would have just told him about the baby. It's too late now. The baby is gone and you can't take it back. Live in the moment Olivia. Enjoy this time and don't let him slip away again!

She was broken out of her thoughts when the two males on the couch jumped up.

"Yes! I told you I was going to kick your butt."

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Do over. You clearly cheated. Plus, I let you win."

"Just admit it Elliot, I will always beat you." Calvin cocked his head as if he'd just thought of a brilliant idea. "I should start betting. You know, five here, ten there. I could be rich and never have to go to school again…"

"Yeahhh…I don't think so." Olivia walked into the kitchen and checked on the food then she turned and smiled at them.

"But mommmmmm…" both Elliot and Calvin said at the same time and then fell back into the couch laughing.

"I don't want to hear it. Dinner's ready boys."

Calvin went over to retrieve the plates, napkins, forks and cups something him and his sister did every night. Elliot walked into the kitchen and helped Olivia take the pots to the table. When everything was done, they all sat down and began eating. They were half way through their meal when

"Sss azzy k?"

"Calvin baby, please don't talk with your mouth full."

The boy chewed a few more times and then spoke again. "Sorry about that mom. I meant to say, is Jazzy okay?"

Olivia took her napkin and wiped her sons face.

"Yes, she's just not feeling up to socializing right now. Why don't you finish up so we can see what Elliot brought for desert?"

"Okay."

Elliot looked at the woman sitting across from him. He couldn't help but smile at her. She was becoming such a natural at being a mother but then again, he always knew she would be. His eyes drifted down to her plate. She'd barely touched the food and at the moment, she was shuffling it around. He took his napkin off his lap and wiped his mouth and then stood and took his plate over to the sink. While he was washing his dish, Calvin came up behind him and put his plate in the soapy water.

"Thanks El."

"Yeah yeah." Elliot said with a chuckle.

Olivia took this small distraction as a chance to rake the contents of her plate into the trash. She successfully rid her plate of all the food and walked over and put it in the water. Before Elliot could ask her anything, she was already on the other side cleaning off the table.

When Olivia was done, she walked to the other side of the sink and began drying off the dishes Elliot had already washed. She could feel his eyes on her so she turned to look back at him.

"I've been sick lately and…and I haven't gotten my period yet." Her eyes met his. While waiting for his reply, she began to regret, yet again, telling the man anything. Nice Olivia.

"Can you say something?" Olivia placed her hand on his cheek. "Please."

Elliot was shocked. This felt like déjà vu. Come on man. Get yourself together. At least this time she's telling you. Don't fuck this up again! Elliot closed his hanging jaw and dropped this dishrag back into the sink. He took the towel out of Olivia's hand and dried his. When he was done he wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her close.

"Are you…?"

"I don't know. But I didn't want to not tell you. I know you saw me not eating and I didn't want you to think the worse so…"

"Wow."

"Yeah. I'm not going to lie El. There is a chance, if I am pregnant, that this baby is Trevor's." She almost gaged at the thought.

Elliot leaned against the sink mainly to steady himself. "Shhh. If that is the case, I still want to be here for you. I meant what I said when you were at my house. I love you Olivia Benson and I'm not going anywhere."

Tears welled up in Olivia's eyes. She rested her head on Elliot's chest and spoke softly. "This is all happening too fast. I love you too El and I want this. I want an us. But with me trying to adopt Jazzy and everything that's happened with Trevor. Never mind me going back to work soon, I just…how…we…"

"Liv, stop. Relax. Breathe."

She took in a deep breath and then exhaled.

"We both know how things ended up the last time…"

"Yes Liv, I remember but I'm telling you, things will be different this time. I want to be here for you and the kids and this baby.."

"Mom, you're pregnant?"

Calvin's voice shocked both adults and forced them apart. Olivia tried her hardest to wipe away her tears before her son could see.

"You know what baby, I don't know yet. But how would you feel if I was?"

"I don't know. It'd be cool I guess. It would be even cooler if it was a boy so I could have someone else to beat in PS3."

Elliot and Olivia both laughed at the innocence of the child.

"Did you need something buddy?"

"Oh yeah. What'd you bring for desert El?"

Elliot walked over to the fridge and retrieved the box. While Calvin went and sat at the table, Olivia got two desert plates from the cabinet. When she turned around to walk over to the table, Elliot was looking at her. He winked and then went about opening the box.

"YES! Cannoli's!"

"Yeah, I know they're your favorite."

"Thanks El."

"You're welcome buddy. Enjoy."

Elliot placed one of the pastries on the plate for himself and Calvin.

"Hey Cal, you know what, you can eat you desert in the living room tonight if you want."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, but just this one time kiddo."

"Cool! Thanks."

Liv handed him a napkin and watched as he shuffled out to the other room. A smile spread like wildfire across her face. She loved her kids. If you would have told her earlier in life that she'd be a mother of two and possibly have one on the way, she'd laugh, call you crazy and then walk away.

Elliot cleared his throat and broke the woman out of her thoughts. "How about we just take this one day at a time. I'll run out to the store and get a test and we can take it once the kids go to bed." He also wanted to use his time to think. If she really was pregnant, his life was about to change drastically.

"Yeah. Sure. That sounds good. I'll finish up here and go check on Jazzy and you go get the test." She stood and put the pastry box back in the fridge.

"Oh yeah, is she okay? I heard she knocked some girl out in school." He chuckled at the thought.

Olivia smiled. "Yeah, I don't know about all that but she did slap this girl in her class." She stood in front of the muscular man. "I'll tell you more about it when you get back darling." She patted his chest and then turned back to the kitchen.

"Okay."

He walked back out into the living room and grabbed his sweatshirt off the couch.

"You leaving already El?"

"No, just going to get something real quick."

"Oh, ok. Are you coming back before bedtime?"

"Yep. But you might want to keep practicing." He pointed towards the game. "Cause when I come back, I'm going to beat your a…."

"Aye! No cursing in this house! Now go."

Olivia pushed Elliot to the door all the while he was mouthing something to Calvin.

"Yeah, yeah. You say that every time but I'm still undefeated." Calvin stuck out his tongue and then went back to his game.

"Okay, we'll see about that kiddo."

"Go!"

"Okay, okay I'm going. I'll be back in ten…no wait….twenty tops."

"Hurry! And El?

"Yes sweets?"

Olivia gave him the best puppy dog eyes she could muster up. "Do you think you could bring me some chunky monkey too?" she finished with a smile.

Elliot couldn't resist the face she was making. "You didn't touch that fantastic dinner you made but you want ice cream. Yeah, you're preggo." He laughed and then ducked as Olivia swatted at him.

"Just get it. Pleassssseeee."

"Okay fine. Just pull that lip back in before I let you talk me into anything else."

"Thank you!"

She closed the door and locked it. She walked into the living room only to find her son laying on the floor.

"You comfy down there buddy?" Olivia chuckled when she heard a faint 'mmhmm' and took his plate off the coffee table and into the kitchen. When she was sure that everything was cleaned and put away, she retreated down the hall to her kid's room.

Knock knock

"Jazzy, you okay baby?"

"Yeah."

Liv moved from where she was standing and over to the bed. "Are you hungry? I made tacos." Olivia brushed the few strands of hair out of Jazzy's face.

"No thanks."

"Okay." The detective poked out her bottom lip in sympathy. "Well, why don't you go hop in the shower and get ready for bed because you've got a long day ahead." When Jazz gave her a quizzical look, Olivia elaborated. "You're doing chores all day tomorrow." Olivia got up and began walking to the door.

"Wah..buh…Livvvvvvv…why?"

"Why? Jazz you slapped a girl today. You're suspended from school for a whole week. If I were you I'd be happy that I'm not asking much of you."

"But c'mon Liv, you gotta be kidding me!"

"No, you've gotta be kidding me for thinking that if you let a couple crocodile tear slip down your face that it would get you out of trouble. I love you Jazzy but in this house, no bad deed goes unpunished."

Jay's face was coated in pure shock. With her chin practically touching the bed, Livia chuckled and walked out the door. She retreated back to the living room where her son's eyes looked as though they'd never left the TV. When she heard the door to her kid's room open and then the door to the bathroom slam, she jumped.

"Jazlyn! Come here now!"

Jazz opened the door and stomped out the bathroom and over to where Liv was standing.

"I understand you're mad, really, I do. But if you think that makes it okay for you to go around slamming doors then you've got another thing coming young lady. Now if I were you I'd go and take a shower and go to bed before I really get mad."

"Whatever."

Jazz turned on her heal and walked back to the bathroom.

"Excuse me?"

Calvin paused the game he was playing and sat up. "Uh oh."

"NOTHING!"

Olivia opened her mouth to say something but decided against it. Shaking her head she turned to her son. "When she comes out, TV off and bath then bed."

"But mommmm El and I were supposed to play…"

"Calv, you know the deal."

"Fine."

"Watch it young man!" Her tone had gone from a soft one to a warning in seconds. "You know how long she takes in the shower anyway, if I were you, I'd get my last minutes in now instead of being mad."

He mumbled a "Yeah, yeah." And then went back to playing his game.

Olivia didn't have the energy to go back and forth with the boy so she just shook her head and walked to her room. Keep messing around and these kids will surely be the death of you Liv. She chuckled and went about her business.