Obligatory disclaimer: Dark Horse and Mister Mignola own all, save for my own original characters.
Jade swallowed hard, resisting the urge to retch. Even if she was dreaming, the implications of what was about to happen had rendered her speechless. This was it. The two of them were going to excise the house – her life – of these… incubi. The elation of talking to her sister, knowing that she was alive and well, instantly disappeared. Jade had thought she was okay in dealing with the situation. She had even told her sister she was – had even believed it at the time. But suddenly she wasn't. Now, there was nothing to hind behind; Jade and Hellboy were going to tackle the removal of actual demons from her home. If they lingered still.
Demons being fought by a demon. Now there's some irony for ya, Jade.
Hellboy watched Jade as she began to pace, ignoring his suggestion to sit. She wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed her shoulders absently, as if fighting off a chill, lost in her thoughts. Hellboy knew that panic was about to set in as the implications of the moment hit her.
And it hit her hard.
A hand escaped her self-hug and arched up, randomly searching for a place to land. Her fingers absently combed through her hair and an irritated look began to cloud her features. Her brow furrowed, followed by the pursing of her lips. Why is life so fucking unfair? When do I get to have a break? When does Athena? When will all this crap stop getting unloaded on us?
Picking up a sofa pillow, Jade chucked it with all her might against the far wall. A screech of frustration trailed after it. Watching the cushion bounce off the wall and land with a soft plop on the carpet, she sighed, feeling better after having channeled some of her anger. Jade felt even better when another pillow followed the first. And then another. Finishing her pity-party, Jade sighed again and turned to face the agent. Hellboy had made himself comfortable on the couch and with an extended arm, indicated Jade should do the same.
Jade flung herself down on the other end of the sofa, her back against the armrest. She then waited, fear draining all the color from her skin. Hellboy wanted to chuckle at the pressure she was putting on herself, but instead popped open his can of soda and took a long sip before speaking, "Don't look like that. This is going to be much easier than you imagine. So easy, that I could do this on my own. But, before you think it's a complete cakewalk, it will be so much simpler to have you help me and I think you'd feel more at ease being a part of the process.
"We're going to cleanse the entire house, top to bottom, starting with the kitchen and then working our way through all the rooms in the house. If there's any negative psychic energy, we're going to eradicate it."
Jade's eyes went wide and she hugged a throw pillow, one that was spared her tantrum, to her chest. "Is this going to involve us destroying anything?" She hated that her voice was hushed, but thought it was better than if her words came out in a shudder.
Shaking his head in the negative, Hellboy slid his hips forward and leaned further back against the sofa, casting her a rueful smile, his soda resting on his knee in the loose cage of his left hand. "Quite the contrary. What we're doing is creating positive energy; no destruction of anything. Except for the negative energy."
Jade was silent, but nodded her head in understanding, even if she was anything but sure of what was going to happen. As if reading her mind, Hellboy explained:
"We're going to wash all the linens in the house in salt water. Including the sheets that cover the furniture. Then clothes and other fabrics, like bedding and whatnot. Anything that can fit into the washing machine, we're throwing it in. We'll do one room at a time. Once everything is stripped, we'll wipe everything else down with salt water. What isn't water friendly, we'll sprinkle with just straight salt, let it sit, then vacuum the salt up."
A bolt of fury jolted through Jade's body. "Salt? You mentioned it last night, but what do you fucking mean, salt? The stuff I flavor my food with?"
Hellboy shrugged. He expected her reaction. Of course, this is why he preferred to work alone. It could never be just that simple in his cases' eyes. They always wanted it to be more complicated. And while it usually was indeed more complicated, starting simple and working your way up was usually the best path to follow. "Yep. Ordinary iodized table salt. It neutralizes negative energy. And is easy to get. Although Abe sent me a buttload of the stuff, so I think we're good. As I said, we're gonna toss it on everything that we can't stick in the washer, let it sit and absorb the negative energy, then vacuum it up. Whatever we can stick in the washer, we're going to put salt in with it, too. Then we're gonna wash any entryways, doorways and windowsills with salt water. Although rosemary tea works, too. And although it's a long shot, you wouldn't happen to have any rosemary in the house, would you?"
Jade wanted to close her eyes and put her hands over her ears, blocking out the surreal reality she found herself in. Never in a million years did she think she would be expunging demons from her home… especially with the help of a half-demon. And with salt? "I called the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense to get help against what I think are ghosts and, instead, get demons. Good times for me, ya know? Then I find out that these demons can be banished by… saline? Listen, I mean no offense, but I could have looked this up the Internet and figured this out for myself. Saved you a trip in the process, too." Jade launched herself off the sofa and began to pace. "Fuck me harder!"
Her words stung. There was no doubt about that. But Hellboy also couldn't blame Jade. If he were in her shoes, he'd be hopping mad, too. But working cases were rarely as simple as he hoped. There were the occasional occurrences, but they were few and far between. Usually Hellboy had to rely on his own physical strength to eradicate the causes of the problems he was called in for.
"Jade, if it helps, think of this as step one. If they're gone, this will keep them from coming back. If they aren't then we'll have to step it up a notch and haul out the big guns." Hellboy fiddled with the soda can resting on his knee, wishing it was a cold beer. Wishing he had a cigarette. Wishing he were alone. Why on earth did he think that having Jade around would be a good idea?
"Big guns," Jade softly repeated. "I guess you're not talking literally. Or are you talking about the firearm you have holstered?"
Damn. She was too observant. "Yeah. I suppose I should have told you earlier, but I'm not used to working with civilians." Hellboy shifted and pulled the gun from its holster, laying it on the couch between them. "The Samaritan is custom – special-built just for me. It's got only four chambers and takes special bullets. I'm not the best shot, so I use it only if necessary. So only in the worst-case scenario. Especially on a day like today."
Jade felt a pounding pressure behind her eyes and the urge to retch again hit her. Instead, she took a deep breath and after clearing her lungs, reminded herself that Hellboy was the best in the business. If I have to repeat it to myself every second of the day today, I have to remember that, no matter what, Hellboy's going to protect me.
Knowing her silence was adding proverbial salt to her verbal cutting, Jade said, "If there's any rosemary, it would be in the kitchen. In the spice rack. Which would be inside the pantry door. Although I do think Mom kept an herb garden right at the base of the back porch steps, but – now that I think about it – I doubt there would be anything left of it after all these years. Rosemary has to be replanted every year, doesn't it?"
His face splitting into a grin of relief, Hellboy pushed himself off the sofa and stood, anxious to begin work. "Stranger things have happened. You should know that by now. Now, lead the way and let's see if there's some to be found."
Jade shrugged her shoulders and rose, heading towards the stairs. She then stopped, pivoted on her heel and turned back around. "You mean in that big box of yours, you didn't get any shipped to you?"
"Never said that. Just wanted to start getting you involved in the process. See? It's working." Hellboy flashed the biggest shit-eating grin Jade had ever seen and then dodged out of reach, heading towards the stairs. Too stunned to react for a moment, Jade had to admit that he cut around her more quickly than she imagined a being his size could move.