CHAPTER TWELVE

THE FALLOUT

Carmilla fled the hospital in tears. Anger and disappointment flowed through her body.

'How could I have been so stupid! She will understand when she gives me the chance to explain? She has got to understand. I can't lose her!' she thought to herself. This was only one of a handful of times she had cried in her life. The only other time since knowing Laura was when she had saved her from the light and she had cried in knowing that she was going to die in saving the person she loved from being killed. Now she cried at the fact that she had hurt the most important person in her life.

Carmilla thought back to the first time anything had happened with Danny.

It had been a strange day. She had had a feeling that something unexpected was going to happen and she was on her guard. She had bumped into Danny as she was coming out of the hospital. Danny had looked upset and against her better judgement she had approached the woman to ask if she was alright.

"Hey Danny, what's up" she had asked in her non committal way.

That's when Danny had started crying and had blurted out that the doctors had told her that she had blood poisoning. It had occurred during all the years of drinking and the fact that she had been in a motor accident about 18 months previously and had to have her spleen removed.

The doctors had told her that if things didn't improve then she would be lucky to have 6 months.

Carmilla felt for Danny and also felt helpless because she couldn't help her. They had sat silently for about half an hour when Danny unexpectedly turned round and kissed Carmilla. It wasn't a lovers kiss but Carmilla responded and that's when it happened. The fierceness of the kiss had caused Danny's lip to be grazed and Carmilla could taste the blood. She tasted the poison in the blood. Then her mind started working and she thought that if she drank the bad blood then Danny's body could regenerate the cells with clean blood. It was simple chemistry or biology.

Carmilla knew she wouldn't be able to do it all at once because that would just kill Danny and she didn't want to do that because even though Danny and Laura had their ups and downs they were still good friends. She didn't want Laura to be without anyone. LaF and Perry were completely loved up and didn't really let anyone in any more. Kirsch was on a downward spiral. Laura's dad was in a nursing home after he had had a stroke. Laura had mentioned a few times that she had wished that she was young always like Carmilla but Carmilla had dismissed it.

Carmilla pulled out of the kiss and saw the look of shock on Danny's face.

"Carmilla I'm so sorry I shouldn't have done that! I'm just upset and you were here and …."

"Shush Danny it OK honestly. I have wanted to do that for a while." She lied.

"But what about Laura?"Asked Danny.

"She doesn't have to know." Carmilla pressed.

She hated the fact that she was playing with someone's feelings but at the end of the day she was going to be saving their life. Maybe she should tell Laura. No she couldn't because then it would all come out and she would end up losing everyone she had ever considered a friend.

It was better for her to keep quiet then no one would get hurt. Laura wouldn't know and Danny would get better and be there for her daughter.

Carmilla arrived back at the apartment and let herself in. All she could do was smell Laura everywhere. She made her way to the bedroom and lay on the bed she grabbed hold of the yellow pillow that had been with them since they had first met. It was the first thing that Carmilla always reached for when she thought things were going bad or if she felt that she missed Laura in the days when they had first moved to Toronto, and Laura was working all the hours that she could.

Carmilla felt herself start to cry again. To her it felt like Ell all over again. She knew she shouldn't think like that, it was all her own doing. She didn't need to have sex with Danny but she did. She couldn't deny it had been exciting but she couldn't help feeling guilty each and every time.

Carmilla fell asleep holding on tight to the pillow. She knew Laura wouldn't be coming home tonight so she should try and sleep.

Her mind went back to when she was with Danny the second time. They had texted each other Danny had began showing signs of becoming attached, but Carmilla always played along whilst still maintaining that aloofness that she had always had. It had come to the day that they had agreed to meet up. Carmilla wanted to back out of it all but knew she couldn't. She had promised herself that she would help Danny and she couldn't back out now.

Going to Danny's house she had nearly turned back so many times but each time she just thought about the good that she would be doing. She was helping Danny she was making her better. She had to do this.

Arriving at the front door Carmilla paused before she knocked. She could turn around now and go home to Laura, Danny would get really sick and die, Laura would be upset but then forget. But that wasn't who she was any more. Being with Laura had changed her, made her almost human with feelings and sympathy and god damn it even a conscience.

Knocking on the door she waited. It felt like an age before Danny answered.

"Hey gorgeous." the tall woman greeted her.

"Hey" Carmilla replied in her usual way.

"Don't just stand there come on in." Danny smiled at her.

Carmilla walked into the pristine house. Everything was clean and tidy. Danny had become a clean freak since becoming a mom.

Danny came towards her and hugged her tightly.

"I have wanted to do that for so long" She whispered into the vampires ear.

"Me too" She replied.

Carmilla sat herself down on the couch. The nerves started to show.

"Danny, I'm not sure if we sholfdo this."Carmilla announced.

"Carmilla, if you want to leave then do so now, before feelings get too involved." Danny said.

Carmilla wanted to leave so badly because she didn't want to get too involved, but she couldn't move. She wanted to help Danny but she couldn't think of any other way that she could, and she was sure that Danny wouldn't just let her drink her blood. Danny hated vampires it was only because they had fought together back in University that they had become friends, that and Laura, the love they both had for her.

"I don't want to go."Carmilla whispered.

Danny came over to her and lifted her face to kiss her. Carmilla kissed her back, the kisses getting deeper and deeper until it got to the point where Danny started undressing Carmilla. Carmilla took hold of Danny's hands.

"No I'm not ready for that yet Danny." Carmilla sighed.

"OK."

"I want to but it is too soon."

"You don't have to explain Carmilla."

Carmilla kissed Danny again, she found the wound on her lip again and once again started to taste the blood. Little and often. Not too much so Danny became weak but enough to make a difference to get the cells regenerating. They kissed for what seemed like eternity but in reality had only been a few minutes. This time Danny broke off the kiss.

"Carmilla, this feels wrong yet so right. I don't want to stop but I don't want to hurt anyone."

"I know how you feel Dan, I love Laura completely and even though I don't tell her, I'm sure that she knows. I don't want her to ever know about this as it would completely destroy her. She is the most important person, thing, everything to me."

"Carmilla if you want to walk out the door now and not return I understand and we will never speak of this again. If you choose to stay then we have to have ground rules and make sure no one knows and it stays that way. It may only be a fleeting thing or it may become something more we don't know but we try not to let anyone get hurt OK."

Carmilla woke up with a start. It had become dark and there was a light coming from the lounge. She got up from the bed and slowly walked towards the light. Slowly opening the bedroom door she nearly screamed when she saw her mother standing there...