Vindicated
Disclaimer: I claim nothing! I realize that Stephanie Meyer's has all rights to Edward. I don't like it, but I respect it.
A/N: Enjoy, it gets more fun from this point on. (For a time)
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Chapter Twelve: Sweat
This place was empty. There wasn't a cook or maid in sight. Edward had made it that way. He had ordered them to take a paid vacation for the next week and a half. Admittedly I hadn't ever seen them lurking about before. They were supposed to stay out of sight, but I liked knowing that they weren't around. I liked knowing that it was just us.
I was prepared to explore the place from top to bottom today. It had been too late last night, plus there had been a few workers who were finishing up their day job before going on vacation. They filled the pantry and fridge so we wouldn't get hungry. I desperately wanted to cook, I had always enjoyed that. Plus it would bring me some comfort knowing some things hadn't changed. I hadn't made a thing since dad's oh-so-awful fish and casserole. I snorted to myself. Charlie was always so dramatic.
Blocking out thoughts of my father was becoming easier. I liked to think of this as my family now. Emmett was the funny older brother who would defend you to the end, Jasper the reasonable and calculating (in a good way), Carlisle the kind one, willing to give you whatever you needed, Esme the loving one, possessing the endearment that any mother would have and give freely, Rose the aggressive and beautiful older sister and Alice was the glue that forced us to come together, with her playfulness and her intense go getter attitude.
Edward was my best friend. He took a slight lead over Alice, maybe because of the amount of time Edward and I were forced to be together, but I wasn't so sure anymore. Alice's ability to get me to agree to anything wasn't in her favor. Edward listened to me and I don't know why, but I felt a connection to Edward that was more than just Stockholm's syndrome. I was thinking it was a lot more than I originally thought.
I didn't want to think about it anymore… It's all that had been running through my head for the last couple hours. Even in my sleep, he starred as the main character. Whisking me off my feet and kissing me. I sighed, hoping that I could just forget about that so I didn't have to feel awkward around him. Knowing he'd seen me naked made it awkward enough.
I stretched; this bed was squishier than Edwards and didn't smell nearly as nice. I missed his bed in a weird way; well mine now since I was the only one that slept on it. A fleeting thought crossed my mind; the bed was big enough for both Edward and me. My cheeks burned, no, that would be too suggestive and I didn't want to ruin the best friendship I have ever had over a misunderstanding.
The sun shone through the tiny crack between the curtains, a sun line jutted across the carpet and up the opposite wall, bringing the open door to my attention. We didn't have to lock it, not with Alec and James gone. Besides, with our door open and the boy's door just down the hall open as well, I felt safe. We all did. Edward and Jasper agreed to crash in Emmett's room last night after the 'winners' were announced. The six of them, including James' new girl, Esme, and Jane all went.
I was upset that Esme wouldn't be able to enjoy this mini vacation with us. She promised to call whenever she could, but from what Edward told me last night, she wouldn't see Carlisle all that much. He would return at night whenever he was finished and dismissed for the day. Esme would be lonely, especially since she didn't have a phone of her own.
I moved slowly, not wanting to wake Rose and Alice by jostling the bed too much. I brushed my teeth and made sure I didn't look too bad. Then I used my super silent skills to leave Jasper's room entirely. I could stay in my pajama's all day… That actually sounded like a wonderful plan. I crept down the hall, the carpet making my steps completely inaudible. I hoped so anyways, because I wanted to see if any of the boys were up. I didn't want to explore alone, but I would if I had to.
The door was open, and when I made it to the frame to peek in, I was glad they all looked very much asleep. I had been afraid they would all be watching the door waiting for whoever was trying to sneak up on them. I crept in, testing my luck. Edward's shock of hair stood out and I was glad he was closest to the door.
He was on the floor, his blankets around him and one of his pillows crumpled under his head, but that wasn't what made every muscle in my body tense. I'd never seen him sleep like this, he had always worn his clothes to bed in case anything happened and he was needed in a quick second.
I honestly didn't know he even owned a pair of boxers… let alone wore them. Admittedly they looked very nice on him. Since everything he owned screamed like he'd raided his grandfathers closet, I thought he'd be more of a briefs man. I couldn't look away, I tried, but his legs were toned and long, his chest ripped and chiseled. I swallowed as quietly as possible. I stepped quietly to his right, moving before someone woke up and seen me ogling Edward.
I balanced on the balls of my feet, crouching down close enough to touch his shoulder. I paused a few inches away. Usually he jerked awake, that would definitely wake the others up. How could I do this while still escaping with everyone else left how they were… hm. I had to think. I didn't want to wait until Edward naturally woke up… maybe I should just go? I thought about it but didn't move away from Edward. I felt save, but only if Edward was close by.
His arm shot out. I flinched and held back a yelp as Edward pulled me forward from my outstretched arm. Did he know it was me? I slid across him, he rolled to his side and I landed parallel to him on the opposite side I'd just been. He brought his fingers to my hips and… OH! I couldn't hold it in. It burst from my lips.
He was tickling me!
"Please." I laughed as he moved up to my ribs. "S-stop it." I breathed in between words, trying to catch my breath. I tried to push his hands away as he continued to force me to laugh when a pillow smacked into Edwards face, then flopped down on top of me. Edward pushed it away, a smile on his face.
"Get a room." Emmett muttered from the bed. The bed groaned in protest as he turned to his side. Was that bed strong enough to hold him? It didn't seem like it, but it was still intact.
"I detect some animosity." Edward responded, and I was off the floor in a second. He plopped me over his shoulder like a damn sack, his arm folding at my knee junction stopping me from falling forward. I had a very nice view of his butt, since it was where my face was! I splayed my hands out across his back and pushed up so I could see behind him, and in front of me. Touching his bare skin brought waves of heat coursing through me, I would never admit it. Jasper was sitting up shaking his head at us, I think Emmett went back to sleep already. I smiled, holding back my laughter.
Edward was never this care free. He must be excited about having actual freedom for a little while. I was excited about that too. Not having to worry about his other siblings calling the fathers about something or the servants/workers here reporting any weird behavior. We were free to do what we pleased. Edward turned the wrong way. Instead of heading back to Jaspers room and to the open foyer, which is where I would have gone, he went towards the stairs in the back.
This was the way to James and Alec's rooms… and if he took another flight down, to the torture room. I trusted Edward, but I tensed anyways, not comfortable in this area. He sensed right away what was going through my head and we turned around half way down the stairs. I took a deep breath, letting my muscles relax again. When we made it past Jasper room and down the stairs, he put me down. I was a foot away from him.
"What would you like to do today?" He asked a smile on his face. Was he going to stay in his boxers? Not that I was opposed to it, but it was rather distracting. Plus, whenever our bare skin touched I reacted in ways I never thought happened in real life. His stomach rumbled and I giggled.
"Pancakes?" I asked and he took my hand guiding me through the living room. I paused forcing Edward to stop as I took in the restored room. I knew it had been over a week, but… I hadn't known it was back to normal… well it was different, not really normal. There were about four circles of couches and chairs with tables in the center of them. It was more like four big living rooms put into one with too many chairs. Everything else in the living room was back to the way it had been before the incident.
I had a great idea involving just this many chairs and couches. Edward would help me, I hoped. I'd tell him about it later and see if we could make a day of it. We continued on, Edward not asking me why I stopped, I'm sure realizing I hadn't seen the room clean after that disaster.
"Have you ever made pancakes before?" I asked as he guided me through the dining room. We went around the table to the double doors. He laughed quietly.
"Nope, I don't even know what a pancake is." Edward's chuckling continued as he pressed the doors open. I was familiar with my tiny kitchen where the dining room table took over most of it. Even our cafeteria in the high school seemed small compared to this. It was even bigger then the dining room, longer, with multiples of everything. I could see two vertical fridges and one horizontal freezer. There were three stoves and between each of them were about fifteen to twenty feet of counter space and a sink. It was ridiculously clean, to the point where if I looked behind a stove, I knew there wouldn't be the smallest amount of dust.
"I guess you wouldn't know where anything is then, would you?" I looked from the first cabinet at my right to the door at the end that would have to be the pantry room. There were about seventy thousand storage areas between them. The room was void of any color though, all a tan or white. Edward caught my eye again as he started at one end. His back muscles rippling as he reached for the top cabinet handle.
"What am I looking for?" Edward asked, turning to look at me. I looked down, and he snickered. I'm sure he saw me eyeing him.
"Uh um, a pan." I turned, walking towards the pantry room. They had to have pancake mix, but if not, they had to have the standard ingredients for homemade pancakes. Doesn't everyone have at least the basics? I imagine they have far, far more than the basics. I turned the knob, pulling the door open. Yup, they had absolutely everything… but now that I thought about homemade pancakes, I wanted some.
The pantry room was bigger than Edward's, it was a small grocery store really, soups, cereals, flours, oils and all kinds of things. They had bisquick, but I grabbed the flour, sugar, baking powder, and the vanilla flavoring. I couldn't hold the salt, but I could go back for that. I left the pantry and piled the ingredients on the counter closest to Edward. We wouldn't need to use that much space.
"Did you find a big mixing bowl anywhere?" I asked and Edward pulled out a baking pan. I snorted.
"That's more for cookies." I laughed, and Edward put the cookie sheet by the oven.
"I've never had cookies before. I'd seen them once on TV… it was a bake off. They made cupcakes too." Edward opened a few more cupboard doors before he found a bowl. A guy who didn't know what a pancake was, or what cookies or cupcakes tasted like… Edward was deprived.
"How about cookies today, cupcakes tomorrow?" I wouldn't judge Edward for this. I'm sure a lot of kids who have health nuts for parents didn't give them cookies either. Edward hadn't gone to a real normal school even. He ate what the cooks here made them, I'm sure they didn't know what snacks where out there in the real world to ask for them.
"Whatever you like. Is this the right kind of pan?" Edward asked, pulling a decent looking pan from one of the shelves. I smiled, patting the electric circle on the stove. I went back to the pantry grabbing more things for cookies and the salt. Did they have chocolate chips? No, but they had raisins and oatmeal. I'm sure that was fine. Did they have any kind of chocolate…? Alice had some in her goody bag! We hadn't eaten it. We could chop those up. I put the oatmeal and raisins back.
"How do you feel about sneaking into Jasper's room for some chocolate?" I asked, putting the rest of the stuff on the counter. A slow grin spread across his face.
"I think I like cooking already." He smiled, although normal cooking had nothing to do with sneaking around, usually. I told him where the chocolate was located and started searching for the measuring cups and spoons. I found them quickly, putting everything together. When the door closed behind Edward, I instantly felt off. I rolled my eyes at myself, one of these days Edward wasn't going to be around 24-7, I needed to be self sufficient. At the very least able to be alone…
I had the pancake batter mixed and the pan heated when Edward returned with three bars of chocolate in his hands. Two of those weren't mine and although I was sure they wouldn't mind, I still wouldn't use them. I instructed him on how to make cookies and grabbed a plate to put the cooked pancakes on. Maybe by the time we were done everyone would be up. Emmett, I guessed, ate a lot, so I planned on making a lot of pancakes. Good thing the mixing bowl was filled to the brim. I hoped that would be enough.
"We have a pool." Edward told me, catching my eye every couple of seconds. I really wished he would put some clothes on. Or, that I could touch him. This was torture. The good kind. "If I turn the heater on now, it would be warm enough for tomorrow." The pool sounded great, a wonderful way to be in minimal clothes and… play around, touch. There was only one problem…
"I can't swim." I told him. I'd never been taught. I could go in the shallow end and I felt comfortable, but I couldn't reach… I almost regretted saying that, but if he said he would help me learn then that would be an excuse to cling to him while he was dripping wet and had a bare chest. My cheeks heated just thinking about him like that. Maybe that wasn't a good idea?
"I would save you." Edward said, coming up behind me as I flipped the pancake, it went off the lip of the pan as his chest pressed into my back. I sucked in a breath. He mouth pressed against my ear, his hands finding my hips, his fingers looping under my shirt and grazing my skin. "I'm looking forward to seeing you in a bathing suit."
He was gone, chuckling to himself before I could think a coherent thought, let alone a cheeky response. I burned the pancake, but I decided to put it on the stack anyways. Edward would eat that one! I took a few calming breaths before starting the next pancake.
My cheeks flushed for a whole new reason. Edward must have wanted to touch my skin too. I wonder if it was as hard for him, when he had walked into the bathroom on us girls yesterday, as it was for me now, with him being in just boxer shorts. Was this payback, a way for him to find out if I wanted to be more than just friends? …but what if he was just playing around, kidding? He was acting rather mischievous, more than usual. I shook my head, adding it to the list of things to think about later when Edward wasn't around to distort my logic.
Where was the pool anyways? Edward went to turn the heater on, and I would find out tomorrow… but I wanted to know the layout of the house. I wanted to have places to hide. I knew I was safe now, but Edward would be called away eventually and worse comes to worse, I'd like to know of a few places I could go. Plus, I was rather curious. This was where Edward grew up.
Edward returned without saying a word. He just went back to making the cookie dough. I was too nervous to look over, so instead focused on the pancakes. By the time everything was cooked, the cookies were ready to go in the oven. I set the timer and Edward helped me carry the plates out along with the heaping pile of pancakes. I had the syrup and butter out. All we needed were the people to get their lazy asses up.
"They smell wonderful." Edward complimented and I smiled, glad that the uncomfortable silence was over. Maybe Edward was regretting touching me, maybe he hadn't liked it, but I could forget about the whole thing if he wanted me too. Although, I would be upset that I couldn't touch him the way I wanted.
"If they aren't as good as they smell, lie to me." I told him. Putting all the plates on the same end of the table, I had it so we would all be across from one another, no one sitting at the head of the table. I watched Edward put a fork on each plate. Once I felt it was presentable I rubbed my hands together.
"I won't have to lie." Edward said, meeting my eyes for longer than necessary. "Should we wake the others? Emmett will get up for food, but I'm not so sure about the others." I shrugged; we'd make them join us some way or another. We made our way upstairs; deciding that Alice and Rose should get up Jasper and Emmett, so Edward and I would just have to wake up the two of them.
Alice and Rose were still out. I thought of a few really good ways to get them both up, but only one really seemed right. I stepped up onto the bed, took a deep breath and bounced. Edward laughed, moving to stand behind me.
"I made pancakes!" I told a grumbling Rose and a groggy Alice. "Go wake up the boys!" Alice sat up, slipping off her side of the bed. Rose pulled my extra pillow over her head. I laughed because Emmett had the same response to getting up. Alice brushed her teeth, and a few seconds later she was out the bedroom door.
"The sooner you wake up Emmett, the sooner we can have pancakes the sooner we can explore the house! We have a limited time offer to freedom!" I told her, my voice fluctuating, depending on whether I was jumping or falling. She wasn't budging, so I stopped jumping, thinking up a new tactic to wake her up, when Emmett appeared where Alice had just been sleeping. He didn't give Rose any warning and instead just pulled the covers off, picking her up bridal style. Rose screeched.
"I need food." Emmett told her, not paying any attention to her fighting. I laughed and turned back to Edward. I shrugged my shoulders at him. His face was serious; he helped me down, moving me by my hips from the bed to the floor. He didn't drop his hands, Edward half stepped forward our bodies lining up. He tilted his head down, looking at me, then my lips.
"Can I try something?" Edward asked, pulling me forward lightly as he leaned down. He didn't close his eyes, and mine were wide in excitement and nervousness. Was this really happening? Edward wanted to kiss me, and I wanted to kiss him!
"Edward!" Emmett called, both are heads turned towards the door way. Edward let go and stepped away, just in time. Emmett filled the doorframe. "Rose wouldn't let me dig in without you two." I sighed, looking away from Emmett and walking towards the door. That really happened, right? Emmett let me pass, and I took the stairs, getting a grip on myself again.
Edward would have kissed me. That would have been my first kiss and I wanted it. Damn Emmett, he was getting the burned pancake now! I huffed into the living room and took a seat next to Alice. The milk was on the table, but I had forgotten about the glasses.
"Someone looks sexually frustrated." Alice whispered. Jasper let out a soft hiccup sounding laugh and I narrowed my eyes at him, slowly shifting to glare at Alice instead. My cheeks were hot, so I poured myself a glass of milk. Emmett and Edward took their seats too, Edward sitting across from me. I didn't look over at him, just in case. I mean, what if he was mad? Or he was glad that Emmett interrupted. But… I was just embarrassed.
..0.
The house was massive. Underneath Edward and Carlisle's rooms was an office area, I'm sure in case the fathers needed a place to do business. I'd found lots of places to hide in there. The other side was a movie/TV area. It was like a theatre, only there were couches instead of individual seats. I knew that the library was below that.
There was actually an upstairs to the living room too. It was a game room. There were all the newest systems, along with some arcade machines, another piano, a desktop computer and a karaoke machine. I laughed at the thought of any one of the boys dancing up here to a karaoke machine. Who thought to buy that? None of them fit the type to request something like this.
A balcony lead outside, and a stairwell went down to a deck. I'm sure you could get outside from the living room too. The pool was out there, it was in ground and of course Olympian sized. I snorted, of course I couldn't find Edward in any of the mentioned places. He had avoided me since breakfast. Even after the cookies were done, I couldn't find him, so I had just grabbed a sandwich bag with two in it. Emmett ate about seven, so I was glad that I could grab a few before they were all gone.
The only place I hadn't looked was where I didn't want to go. He wasn't in his room, and he wasn't in the library, so he must really want to avoid me if he went there. I took a deep breath. Edward must be upset about the almost kiss, if he didn't want it to happen. If he had changed his mind, that would be alright. Even if he wanted to see if it was right, to kiss me once and know if that was what he wanted, I would let him. I sighed and made my way back downstairs. I would have to look there.
I gathered my wits and made my way down James and Alec's hallway. I called out softly for Edward. I knew Jasper and Alice were watching a movie, and Emmett was getting his ass handed to him in mortal combat in the game room.
I hated this. Not only about going into this area, but also being alone and not spending the first day of freedom with Edward. He just ran off, not giving me any time to explain myself or anything. He shouldn't be angry; I didn't want him to be irritated.
The stairway was dark, but I swallowed, hesitating a moment before making my way down. I knew the door to the right was the room I'd never return too and if Edward was angry enough to hide from me in there then I didn't want to see him. But there was another room, the other direction down the hall. I walked that way, my stomach tightened and my hands fisted. The plastic bag in my hand crinkled. I paused, going back to being as quiet as possible.
The door was half way open. A door stopper was shoved into the bottom, a soft glow from a lamp or something showed off to the left. The floor was squishy and made of foam, and the room smelled like man. I could see why, since the room was filled with exercise equipment. No wonder all the boys were not lacking in the muscle department. I had no idea what any of these contraptions were called, so don't ask. Some I could tell what muscles they targeted, but that was the extent of my exercise knowledge.
There was a rhythmic thudding, each one about a second or two apart, then a quick two or three, then back to a second apart. I rounded the door, looking in the direction of the light. The wall was made of a mirror about half way up. It went all around the room. Wasn't that standard for most weight room's to see yourselves? I figured here it was so no one could sneak up on you, not that I wanted to sneak up on Edward. Plus the ledge could hold your water bottle.
I took a few steps in, just to see what he was doing. I'd be out before he'd even seen me. I rounded a bicycle machine and then I spotted him.
It was like one of those Rocky movies. His hands were wrapped up with tape, he had a wife beater on, but it was clinging to him and didn't cover a thing with all that sweat. He was punching a red long cylinder shaped bag, with each punch there was a tiny burst of white chalk. His face was tensed, concentrated.
He was mad and I averted my gaze. He was relieving his stress and I didn't want to interfere. So instead I put the plastic bag of cookies right in his walk way, and turned silently to leave. I looked back twice, each time wondering what was going through his head, if he was upset enough not to want to be friends anymore. I paused at the door.
"Bella?" Edward's voice sounded, I stepped back into the path to see down the room. He had a water bottle to his lips, I watched as he put it down and snatched up the cookies from the floor. I knew something was still off. His smile was on his face, but I could see he was sad about something.
"Do you want the other cookie?" He offered and I smiled, shaking my head no. "You are going to make me eat my first cookie alone?" He sounded appalled in a humorous way, but it was just on the surface. I was really starting to worry. I walked back the way I came, stepping even further into the room. He opened the bag and offered me to take my own cookie.
I was about two feet from Edward when it hit me. The smell was… amazing. All this time I thought his bed smelled so wonderful from the soap but it was Edward. I didn't reach for my cookie I met his eyes, challenging him to say something.
"Bella… I, well I wanted to apologize for forcing myself on you." He averted his gaze a moment. Edward had told me that when you meet someone's eyes you weren't afraid. I knew what this meant, he was afraid of what I was going to say. Well, I wasn't going to say anything. I reached up, grabbing his wife beater with two hands and pulling him down to me. I arched on my tip toes, meeting his lips half way. He didn't fight me, he gave in, shocked the moment our lips touched.
I awakened, chills running from my neck to my spin and my stomach igniting very low. I needed friction. I stepped closer, but Edward was already ahead of me, his arms going around me. He picked me up, turning me around and setting me on the ledge, my back to the mirror, our lips never parting. We lined up this way, and I moved my hands from his chest, over his shoulders and behind his head. I buried my hands in his hair, pushing him closer. His hand went up my back, then down finding their way to my bare skin. It sent electrical currents through my skin, heat wherever he touched me. I wanted him to touch me. I moved my hips and Edward groaned, pulling away. I let him go, pouting.
"Jesus, Bella." He panted, and it wasn't from his work out. I blushed instantly, a sick guilt washing through me. Had I gone too far? Did he not feel what I felt? I dropped my gaze, afraid to hear his next words. 'I don't think about you in that way, ' or 'It's not you, it's me.' I thought about running, but Edward was in front of me, and there was no way I could get past him sitting on this ledge. Edward looped his finger under my chin.
"I never know what you're thinking." Edward said real puzzlement in his eyes. I almost laughed at the paradox. I wished I knew what he was thinking all the time! Like right now, did he have the same mixed up jumble of emotions for me too? Did he want to try this on our own terms?
"I could say the same." I told him, forced to meet his eyes since he was holding up my chin. I didn't want him to see into me. Not if he didn't have the same thing in him that I did. He needed to do it quick if he didn't like that, or didn't want it. I flopped back against the wall, leaning my head backwards. I widened my eyes so the tears wouldn't fall.
"Hey, none of that," Edward said, putting either of his hands on each of my hips, his elbows resting on the edge. "Bella, I want to do this right. I'm not sure how to do this, but rushing into anything doesn't seem like a good idea." He sighed.
"You're trapped here, and I have no way of telling if you would be having these feelings for me in a real world, normal setting, or if they are because I'm the only one around." I watched him as he pushed his hair back, his bronze locks still slick from sweat. "I don't want to take advantage of the situation, and if we do start something between us, I have no idea how it will work. There isn't a way out of this family, and I don't want you involved in any of it. If that means you can't be involved with me, so be it… if it keeps you safe." He returned his hand to my hip and I watched him. He was definitely conflicted, and he really was worried about this.
I never really saw this from Edward's perspective before. Not in this way. I liked getting a glimpse into his head, even if it was a small one. He didn't want me involved in the mafia, and with him, I would be. Although, I already am, seeing where I am right now… but I liked Edward, and he should give me choice in the matter.
"That was my first kiss." I told him, watching his eyes soften and most of his face relax. "I'm already involved in the mafia. Unwillingly, yes, but I do like you Edward. I don't kiss just anyone and from that, I'm certain that my feelings for you would be happening for you no matter what the situation. If anything, I'd say I had all the reason in the world not to have any feelings for you at all, and here they are." He smiled. "You're worth it, Edward."
He leaned forward this time, pressing his lips to mine. This one was much softer, feathery and tender. My heart started hammering against my chest. There wasn't a hint of urgency to this kiss, just a slow sweetness of skin and breath. Edward pulled away, came back for a quick kiss, and then left again.
"That should have been our first kiss." I laughed, as he turned and picked up the cookies. They were still in the plastic so they would be free from sweaty feet germs. I took a cookie when he offered it to me, and he leaned on the ledge to my right, taking his own cookie. He took a bite.
"I had to rescue these from Emmett's clutches, by the way. Not an easy task to overtake a two hundred and fifty pound gorilla, I tell you." I bit into my own as Edward snorted, swallowing his bite.
"I think cookies, just might be the best thing ever." A cocky smiled was spread across his face.
"You made them." I said, a small smile on my own face, it was an automatic response to all of Edward's smiles.
"I'd really like to kiss you again." He told me, I forgot all about the cookie. Losing myself in Edward was the best experience I'd ever had. This couldn't get any better, and this couldn't be wrong.
A/N: FINALLY! Can I get an amen to that? I've been waiting for anything to happen between them forever!
Review and you get a sneak peek into the next chapter. (More fun filled freedom in store for the little group, poor Esme.) If you can't review with a real Fanfiction name, it's posted on my blog as well! (go to my profile for the link.)
and… Sex has been on the mind lately, judging by my chapter titles. Hm?
