A/N...You guys broke my heart with the last chapter. Some got it...others were pissed...and I am so proud that there wasn't much ranting and yelling. There was some...but not a lot. Lol And your faith in me is overwhelming. You didn't even throw anything! Lol
I'm celebrating my release from work early by giving you this...besides, you guys were killing me!
Yeah, Edward jumped the gun...let's see if he can fix it, huh?
CHAPTER 12
Strength and Weakness
Sea-Tac Airport
BELLA
"Say it again, Bella," Edward moaned in my ear, his voice husky, filled with lust.
"I love you," I gasped as he entered me with swift but sensual force. My legs wrapped around his waist, my back arched up to him, and my head pressed back into my pillow. "God, Edward," I breathed, slipping my hand into his hair. "I missed you." I was unable to stop the sob that erupted from me.
"Fuck, baby," he growled, biting down on my earlobe. "You're mine, Bella. Tell me."
"Yes, always," I nodded, pulling his face up to mine. He dove for my mouth with a sexy groan as our hips found a slow, deep rhythm.
"That's right, baby, always. You'll never look at another man again. I've ruined you, Bella," he rumbled against my neck, scraping his teeth along the skin and causing me to cry out in ecstasy. "I own you. Only I can make you feel this good, baby."
"Belly," Rose whispered beside me. "Wake up, sweetie. We're landing."
"Ruined," I gasped, sitting up with my eyes wide. When I realized it was all just a dream, tears welled up and fell down my cheeks.
"Oh, Bella, shh," she coddled, wrapping an arm around me and laying my head on her shoulder. "It'll get better, I promise."
I nodded, wiped my face, and sat back up. For the last three weeks, my sleep had been riddled with dreams of Edward. Some were glorious and sweet. Some were a combination of past and present. Some were a replay of our last conversation, but most were me begging a stone, silent Edward to please listen – to just fucking look at me. He never did. And I would wake up screaming.
I looked out the window as we taxied to the airport. I was home. Suddenly, all I wanted was my dad.
"Don't tell Charlie," I mumbled, removing my seat belt. "About...anything."
"Whatever you want," she nodded.
No one had been more supportive than she had been the last few weeks. Not only had she helped to pick me up and dust me off, but she had also done most of my packing and located an apartment in her same building in Seattle. It wouldn't be ready for a few weeks, which was perfect, considering I still wanted to spend time with my father.
"And you're positive you're okay driving to Forks alone?" she asked as we stood up into the aisle, grabbing our bags from the overhead compartment.
"Yes," I frowned, shaking my head. "Mags and I will be fine. Have fun with Emmett. He's missed you." I tried my damnedest not to sound bitter, angry, and jealous. It didn't work. She flinched, looking at me with sympathy. "Sorry," I muttered.
We made our way down to the luggage carousel. Standing there, two polar opposites physically, were Alice and Emmett. He was grinning from ear to ear, and she was bouncing excitedly. When she couldn't contain it anymore, she bolted from Emmett's side, rushing into my arms.
"I'm so glad you made it," she squealed. "It sucks being the only girl!"
I chuckled, shaking my head and pulling back. "Where's Jasper?"
"Work."
"And..." I grimaced, biting my lip hard in order not to go there.
"He's not here," she whispered in my ear, hugging me tightly again.
"Nor did I really expect him," I snorted and shrugged. I was tugged away forcefully and lifted into Emmett's giant embrace. "Em," I giggled, "put me down."
"God, I've missed you, Belly," he grinned, his boyish dimples making him seem almost innocent.
"Bells, go get Maggie. I'll get your things." Rose pointed to the bags now trickling through on the conveyor belt.
"I'll come with ya," Emmett said, draping his heavy arm around my shoulders.
We walked over to the desk and I showed my paperwork, waiting for them to bring out my dog. I felt Emmett's eyes on me, studying me. I finally locked gazes with him.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," I shrugged. "Tired, but fine."
"We should talk. Rosie says you won't let us drive you," he frowned, his face filled with concern.
"There's no need. I'm renting a car."
"Yeah, but..."
"Emmett," I said, gritting my teeth, "if you say his name or bring him up, I'll explode, so just let it go. Please. I know he's your brother..."
"There are things you don't know, Belly," he said in a rush, grasping my shoulders.
"Yeah? Like what?"
"I can't...I'm not...he wants..." As endearing as a stuttering, stammering Emmett was, my temper reared her ugly head.
"Right! He wants! You know what? I don't fucking care," I growled as forcefully as I could in a small room full of people waiting for their pets.
"Okay, all right," he sighed, but his eyes took on a soft expression. He wrapped his big arms around me. "I'm sorry, baby girl."
I melted into him, letting his warmth surround me. I had missed the big, boisterous guy that treated me like a sister. I squeezed my eyes closed and then pulled back.
"Look, I know you mean well, but I'm not a child. I just want to get Maggie and see my dad. I haven't seen him since last Christmas. Okay, Emmett?" I asked, my eyes pleading with him to just drop it. "Tonight isn't good for me to walk down memory lane with you and Alice. I've missed you all, but just...give me time. Okay?"
"Yes, ma'am," he nodded, looking like an admonished child.
"Bella Swan?" I heard behind me.
Emmett and I both turned. "There's my girl," I smiled, giggling when Maggie turned exuberant circles in her crate. "Is it freedom that you crave, Mags?" I laughed when she barked, causing chuckles from the other travelers waiting on their own furry loved ones. I looked up at Emmett. "Help me with her crate. It collapses." I hooked a leash to Maggie and let her out into the room.
"Maggie girl!" Emmett laughed when she jumped up and put her paws on his chest, licking him like crazy.
He broke the crate down and carried it for me. We met Rose and Alice out by the rental car kiosk. I gave them my name and waited until they pulled my car around. I shook my head at my friends when I turned around.
"Please," Alice begged, "at least come eat before you head out."
"I just can't, Alice," I frowned, opening the car door for Maggie as Emmett loaded my trunk with my bags and Maggie's crate. "Load up, Mags." She hopped in, poking her head out the window.
"We're meeting up this weekend," Rose stated. "You have to sign your lease, Bells. Let's go out that night. You can stay the weekend at my apartment and help me unpack a little. Okay? Please?"
"We'll see what Charlie wants to do. He gets first call."
"He'll go fishing, Bella." Rose sounded tired and exasperated with me. Just one more reason for me to head out alone.
"You're probably right, but I'm not making promises."
"You're coming," Alice nodded. "Just plan on it." I rolled my eyes, and she launched herself into my arms again. "He looks just as pleasant as you do," she whispered sarcastically into my hair.
I ignored her last comment, turning to Emmett. He looked forlorn as he looked down at me. "Emmett, stop trying to fix this and hug me. We're in the same fucking state – and soon the same city. Just give me a break. I'm tired and obviously cranky. I want my Daddy," I snorted into a giggle.
That finally brought a small gleam into his eyes. "Okay," he smiled, wrapping me up and lifting me off the ground. "I need to explain things to you, Belly. Please? Make some time for me and Edward. It's really important."
"I don't know if I'm ready, Em. I just..."
"You made me a promise the last time I saw you. Do you remember what it was?" he asked, setting me on my feet.
"Yes," I nodded, my hands clenching into fists. I was supposed to remember what Edward and I had found on the AT, even if he forgot.
"Did he forget, Em?" I sneered. "Because, it didn't sound like it."
"All I'm asking is for a chance...from both of us, okay?"
"Later," I nodded. "Much, much later. I can't right now. I know you protect him, but sometimes..."
"Time, Belly," he nodded, backing away with his hands raised in a defensive way.
"Call me when you get to Charlie's," Rose said, hugging me tightly. "Love you."
"Love you, too."
I walked around to the driver's side door and got in. I felt all three sets of eyes following my every move as I cranked up and drove away. I pulled out my phone, dialing my dad.
"Bells," he sang.
"Hey, Daddy," I hiccuped. "I'm on my way."
EDWARD
Seattle
"Here, Ed," Jasper frowned, setting a beer in front of me. We were supposed to be meeting Emmett, Alice, and Rose before they took her to her hotel. Emmett had texted me earlier and let me know Bella was in no shape to see me. None. He wouldn't even explain.
Jasper looked at his phone when it alerted him. "Alice is worried about her, Ed," he sighed, sitting back in the booth. "She said Rose told her Bella's having nightmares, that she looks like a shadow."
"Damn it," I growled, fisting my hair, my elbows resting on the table. "I should have done this differently."
"Lou said it was the only way. He said Trey found out the pictures traced back to Luther's computer, and from there, to Harper's office. He even found a large amount of money deposited to Luther's account. If they got that close to her, they could have hurt her, Edward. Seriously." Jasper shook his head, taking a long drink of his beer. "It may have been cruel, but they heard you, didn't they?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "And Lou sent a counteroffer to them last week. It was a warning." I sighed, rubbing my eye with the butt of my hand. I missed my Bella to the point of madness. Just this conversation was making me sick. "With Verducci in jail, Harper isn't strong. Plus," I said, looking up at Jasper, "the men that were following her in New York have been caught. Fuck, she didn't even know it."
"How?"
"I think the guard Lou put on her was an ex-cop or something," I smiled slightly. "He called in a favor. It turned out the fucker taking the pictures had a warrant."
"Nice," Jasper breathed, nodding. "So, now that she's here..."
"She's safe. Luther, thanks to you," I snorted, "is out of the picture. Letting him go was the last 'fuck you' to Harper."
"Yeah, but Em says your mom and Kate are to blame."
"They are," I said, downing my beer and slamming the mug back onto the table. "I love my mother, but she can really be blind to everything my dad has done. She refuses to hear it. Without Bella..." My heart twinged at just saying her name. "Without her, I'm so close to fucking snapping, it's not even funny. And to have to live under their roof..."
"You should move out, man. I can just imagine you smothering your dad with a pillow," he teased.
"It's on the list," I laughed. "I can't move yet. She begs us to stay after every confrontation with my dad." I looked up when the doors of the bar opened. "They're here."
"I'll get us another round," Jasper smiled, kissing Alice's forehead when she got to the table.
I flinched at the cold, hard look Rose gave me, but her expression softened. She pulled me up and hugged me. "You've got your work cut out for you, Edward." She pulled back. "I won't say she's fine. I can't. But she's safe, and I owe you for that." She studied me for a moment. "I didn't want to tell you over the phone, but that same night, someone followed me to her building. Somehow they got past the doorman. Maggie heard them outside the door," Rose frowned, sitting down next to me in the booth.
"And?" we all asked.
"And nothing," she sighed. "With one deep bark from Mags, they left, I guess. But there were scratches on the lock the next morning."
"I owe that dog a steak," Emmett growled.
"Thank you for telling me the truth, though," she sighed, thanking Jasper for the beer. "I don't know if I could have handled her if you had really meant the things you said. She's so...angry. Hurt," Rose sighed, shaking her head. Tears welled up in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," I pleaded. "It was the only way, I swear. We tried to come up with another way, but you guys were too far away."
"I know," she nodded, smiling when Emmett picked up her hand and kissed it. "I even tried to tell her the truth, Edward."
"What?" I gasped, looking over at her in shock.
"Yeah," she shrugged, "I figured I had to try something. She was devastated, and I didn't know what to do for her. I thought if maybe she knew it was for her protection...that you were just acting...that maybe she'd see reason." For the first time since I'd met Rosalie, she looked lost and unsure. "She thought I was making it up, Edward. She thought I was just trying to make her feel better."
A small sob burst from her, and Emmett wrapped an arm around her, whispering that it would be okay. She lifted her head slowly and looked up at him. "Where do we stand on her safety?"
"Lou says that we should be okay," Emmett nodded, linking their fingers together. "After firing Luther...that's the traitor in the office...and catching the guys in New York, we've basically sent a message to Harper that we can't be touched. All that's left is that girl, Ariana, in accounting."
"Done," Alice smiled proudly. We all turned to look at her. "So you think I visit the office for shits and giggles?" We all huffed a laugh, staring at her and waiting for an answer. "She is seeing a guy from Harper's office," she nodded, "but she's spying for you."
"Stop it," Emmett chuckled, his mouth hanging open.
"Yeah," Alice nodded. "I walked with her to get lunch yesterday. She hates Harper, and it's fucking personal with her. Apparently, Harper employed her father a few years ago, then fired him when he got sick without warning. There was no help with his medical bills, no insurance, nothing. Her father is extremely ill...without money. She's pissed and came to Cullen Construction to work her way up. She says she was going to bring the info that she has to Carlisle, but there's not enough yet. When you guys took over, she panicked and didn't know where to go. Now she does," Alice smiled.
"And?" we all practically yelled.
"And what? She'll come to you when she knows something. The only thing she did tell me was that Harper's not as secure as you may think. The numbers look good, but it's all fudged," she nodded, taking a sip of her beer.
Jasper barked a laugh, kissing her head. "Will you marry me?" he chuckled, shaking his head.
"I already said yes to that a year ago, silly," she rolled her eyes.
I pulled out my phone and dialed the office. "Carolyn," I smiled into the phone. "I need your help with something."
"Let's have it, Edward," she said, but I could hear her smile. She had to be, by far, the best employee in the company.
"There's a girl in accounting, Ariana," I started. "I need you to find out about her father, see to it that he gets all the medical attention that he needs. He's sick."
"Do you want the bills sent to you?"
"Yes, and schedule a meeting with her, Emmett, Lou, and me for next week. Keep it quiet, and make it outside the office."
"Yes, dear," she snorted. "Creating a double spy, Edward?"
"You're too smart for your own good, Carrie," I laughed.
"I know nothing," she said in a German accent, causing me to crack up. "Lou wanted me to tell you that Harper called, wants to talk merger."
"You mean, he wants saving," I guessed, my eyes landing on Alice. She was right, the numbers were fudged.
"Lou mentioned something about Verducci pulling out and heading back to Italy, yes sir," she chuckled. "Since his arrest, their stockholders want out. Every last one of them."
I turned to Emmett. "If we merge with Harper, I'll dismantle his company and throw it away. I swear to God. He's blamed me personally for Gwen for far too long."
"I say we let him go under," Emmett smiled evilly. "I say we outbid every job, we undercut every offer. Let him fail."
"Okay, I guess we can talk to Lou about it tomorrow."
"I'll let him know," Carolyn stated on the other end of the line. "Have a good evening, boys."
"Thanks, Carrie."
I turned to Alice. "I just love you, you little shit!" I snorted, shaking my head.
"I love you, too," she beamed. "Now that we have the world and all its safety under control, you have a broken heart to mend, Edward."
"I know," I nodded, frowning into my beer.
"That won't be easy, Eddie," Emmett sighed, shaking his head sadly. "She won't even let anyone say your name. She practically assaulted me in the airport." I winced, nodding. I had expected as much.
"If I plan it just right," Rose said, looking over at me, "I can get her here in the city by the weekend. She has to sign her lease, and she can stay at my apartment that weekend. Alice practically told her she was coming." Alice was nodded fervently. "I can get her in the same place as you, but I can't make her talk to you, honey," she sighed. "She needs to hear the truth, but not from anyone but you."
"Okay," I nodded, running a hand through my hair. "I'll take whatever she throws at me. I had to protect her. I couldn't let anything happen to her."
"You did what you had to do, man," Jasper urged. "Show her the pictures. Tell her what happened."
I nodded, but knew it would take more than that. I had shattered Bella's trust and heart. Just telling her it was all a lie wouldn't be enough to bring her back to me.
BELLA
Forks
"Dad, breakfast," I called up the stairs. I walked to the back door, letting Maggie in. She dove straight to her bowl.
"Why are you cooking, Bells?" My dad came down dressed for the station. He sat down at the table with a wry smile.
"Because that's what I do," I smiled, setting his plate down in front of him. "I come here, spoil you, and try my best to keep you away from that damn diner."
"Hey, I like that damn diner," he chuckled.
"Yes, but your arteries don't," I snorted, pointing to his plate. "Eat."
"All right," he laughed. "When did you get so bossy?"
"Between you and Rose, it's all I know," I smirked.
"Oh yeah, Rosie. How come she didn't stay with us a few days?"
"She had to sign her lease yesterday, plus she wanted to spend time with Emmett," I said, shrugging.
"When do you sign yours?" he asked, spreading jelly on his toast.
"Tomorrow. I'm going into the city, signing it, picking up my keys and coming straight back." I couldn't look at him. Even to my own ears, it sounded like I was avoiding everyone. I took a sip of coffee, watching him chew slowly. He studied my face before taking a deep breath.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why, when you could see all of your friends, would you come straight back here? You'll be alone. I won't be here. You knew I was going fishing with Billy."
"No reason," I shrugged again.
"Well, good. Then you can stay with Rosie, right?" My father was wearing a smirk that told me he saw straight through me.
"Why can't I just come straight back?"
"Why are you avoiding seeing your friends?" he countered. "I would think you would want to catch up with that boyfriend of yours." Ah, Charlie, forever with the questions. Once a cop, always a cop.
When I didn't answer or look up at him, he continued. "What happened, Bells? I haven't heard nightmares like that from you since before you got Mags."
I groaned, putting my face in my hands. "We broke up, Dad."
"With all of them? Rosie too?"
"Um, no?" I mumbled into my hands.
"Look, pumpkin," he sighed. I lifted my gaze to his. "I love it when you come to stay with me. And I know that it helps you when things are tough. But you've been in this house for three days and not made so much as one phone call. You won't even answer when Rose calls the house." He tried to stay stern, but that wasn't Charlie's style. "I don't like seeing you sad, Belly, but hanging out with your old man watching ESPN can't be helping. Go. See your friends. When are they expecting you?"
"Tomorrow."
"Good. Call Rose, and meet up with them. I've seen this side of you before. I won't let you travel down that path again. It's not healthy. Breakups are bad, but hiding from it won't fix it."
"Yeah, but..."
"Don't 'yeah but' me, Isabella Marie," he growled, holding up his hand. "I don't know what happened, and I don't want to know. But you've been through some shit that certainly overshadows a breakup."
There it was – the reason that I always felt better after seeing Charlie. He always knew what I needed to hear.
"Okay," I nodded, pulling out my phone and turning it on for the first time in three days. "Will you watch Mags while I'm gone for a few days?"
"Watch her?" he laughed. "Hell, she's coming fishing with me!"
I giggled and looked down at my dog that had been happily lounging on the kitchen floor. "You wanna go fishing, pretty girl?" Maggie hopped up to her feet, her tail wagging. She spun in a circle and huffed a small bark. "I guess that's a yes," I snickered.
"That's my girl," Charlie laughed, standing up from the table. He kissed my head and ruffled the top of Maggie's. "I'll be home around six. Call Rose," he commanded, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Okay, I will," I nodded, looking down at the screen. I had tons of missed messages, both text and voice. He nodded once and left for work. As I heard his cruiser leave the driveway, I flipped through the texts first.
Most were from Rose. They ranged from supportive to pissed, eventually becoming panicked. There were two from Alice, reminding me that she would see me over the weekend, and not to even think about backing out. And one from Emmett.
Em: I'm worried about you, Belly. Please check in with someone, anyone. Rosie's wearing out the floor with her pacing. And please, please remember that promise you made me. It's not what you think, but we want to talk to you.
I sighed, shaking my head. I remembered the promise. But I also remembered the dismissive sound of Edward's voice telling me we were through. Could I even brave a meeting? Could I stand to see him, knowing that my heart still belonged to him and his was no longer mine? I shook my head again, unsure of the answer. Did I want to see Edward? God, more that I could admit. My whole body ached just to see his sweet smile, his messy hair. I sighed, punching the button to retrieve my voice mails.
There was one from Rose, threatening to tell Charlie everything if she didn't hear from me by today. Leave it to my best friend to resort to blackmail. There was one from the apartment building reminding me that my lease needed to be signed tomorrow. The next one was from Emmett, but all he said was to check in when I could. Heidi's message was short, but she let me know that my request was finished and that it was on its way. It should arrive today.
I groaned, my head falling back. That message made me excited and nervous. Now I actually had to see everyone. I had this surprise planned for ages. "Fuck," I breathed.
The last message made my heart completely stop.
"Bella," Edward spoke softly. "I know I'm the last person you want to hear from, but I need to see you. I need to apologize. I would rather it was done in person. I know that you're supposed to get together with everyone this weekend, and if you don't want me there, believe me, I'll understand. But I'd just really like to talk you. Please, just give me a chance to explain some things, okay, love?" He paused for a moment. "And everyone's really worried. Please contact someone, okay?"
My eyes closed at the sound of his voice. He sounded so sad, so down. He sounded tired and scared. But above all else, he didn't sound like he did the last time I spoke to him. I saved the message.
The first person I called was Rose.
"Damn it, Belly, where the fuck...can't you answer...shit, are you all right, sweetie?" She sighed the last part of her answering rant.
"Yes, fine," I snickered. "Are we still on for the weekend?"
"Hell yes!" she chuckled.
"Can we just make tomorrow about us?"
"Sure, Bells. We'll get your lease signed and order a pizza. You can set up my computer for me," she laughed.
"Wow, there's an offer I can't refuse," I said sarcastically. "But it sounds perfect."
"Good, but Bells, everyone wants to see you."
"Well, I guess I need to see everyone," I sighed. "I have something for them anyway."
"Everyone?"
"Yes, everyone. He left me a message, Rosie," I said, my breath hitching.
"I know, I was there, sweetie. He's worried about you."
"I don't need sympathy," I growled.
"No, you need to listen to the truth, Belly," she growled back, "I've already tried telling you."
"Is this that protection bullshit again? Because I'm not buying it."
"Will you at least hear him out? Or even Emmett?"
"I suppose I'll have no choice this weekend," I huffed.
"You always have a choice, but I think you should listen to them," Rose urged. What bothered me the most was that usually she was on my side. This time she wasn't. Instead of backing me up as always, she was urging me to see Edward's side. This meant there could be something to this 'he was protecting me' story. I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to be mad, to stay pissed.
Almost as if she could read my mind, she continued. "Look, I know you want to stay mad. I know that what he said was mean, but Bells, please. Just let him explain, okay?"
"We'll see," I hedged, and she didn't push any further. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Plan to stay the whole weekend," she laughed.
"Fine," I chuckled and hung up.
I sent a quick message to Emmett.
B: Stop worrying. I'm alive. And the best way to stop Rose from pacing is to give her a little alcohol. Beer's good...wine is better. ;) I'm not making promises, big bro. I have no idea if I'm strong enough to see him yet. But I must, I have a gift for everyone.
His reply was instant.
Em: You have no idea how strong you are. I've seen in action. And thanks for the tip for Rosie! ;)
B: Use the tip well. Lol
My next text was to Alice.
B: All right, I get it. There's no saying no to you, is there? I'll see you this weekend.
A: Nope, just ask Jasper! ;) Can't wait. Miss you so much!
I sat for a few moments, trying to decide whether to answer Edward back or not. I definitely couldn't speak with him. If I spoke, all that would come out would be tears, and I couldn't have that yet.
He settled my decision for me. He texted me.
E: I'm glad you're okay, love. You made my brother's day. He won't tell me what you said, but thank you anyway.
I couldn't resist. I had to reply.
B: Little things make him happy. See you this weekend.
E: Simple pleasures for simple minds they say. ;) I'm looking forward to it.
OoOoOo
"Where's Mags?" Rose smiled as we made our way from the apartment office to her place.
"Charlie took her fishing," I chuckled, still finding that hilarious.
"Are you kidding?" she laughed, opening her apartment door.
"Nope," I shook my head.
I followed her in, looking around. My apartment was an exact copy of hers, only two floors down. They were spacious, with a fantastic view of the city.
"All your stuff is in my spare room," she pointed to the left. "We both need to go furniture shopping, Bells."
"Okay," I nodded, knowing she was right. The only furniture Mike left me was the bedroom furniture. "Tomorrow?"
"That's fine," she smiled, setting her keys down on the kitchen counter. "You've got your keys, so when do you want to move your stuff?"
"Aw, hell," I sighed, flopping down on the couch.
She laughed, shaking her head. "Emmett offered to help you, Bells. They want to see you tomorrow night. He said he'd help on Sunday."
I groaned, covering my face with my hands. I felt the couch shift, and I turned to look at her. "I want to see him and I don't," I whined, my brow furrowed. "Does that make sense?"
"Absolutely," she nodded. "I know you don't believe me, but you need to at least hear him out. Will you do that?"
"I already told him I'd see him this weekend."
"You talked to him?"
"No, just a text." I looked down at my hands and took a deep breath. "I'm afraid of seeing him. I don't trust myself around him. I love him still."
"Good," she beamed. I rolled my eyes at her and she laughed.
"You know, you could back me up on this," I snapped. "Why are you on his side?"
"I'm always on your side, Bella," she frowned, looking wounded. "But you refuse to listen to the entire story. If you hear him out and still want to be mad, then I'll smack him around for you, deal?"
I laughed, my head falling back. "Deal."
My time with Rose was healing. After the initial conversation about seeing them all the next day, there was no more mention of boys. We truly made it a girl's night. I helped her unpack as we listened to music and drank too much wine. I did set up her computer and unpack her books. By the time we fell into bed, her office, kitchen, and most of her bedroom was finished.
The next day we slept in, but from the look on Rose's face when we were sipping coffee at her kitchen bar, I was willing to bet my nightmares had kept her up. "Sorry," I mumbled.
"Don't," she shook her head, handing me some aspirin. "I have never had a problem with your nightmares, Bells."
"Did I talk?" I asked, basically asking if she knew what they were about.
She winced, looking at her coffee. "You were begging for Edward to help you. Were you dreaming about Jerry?"
I nodded silently, tears springing to my eyes. This was a dream that had started on the trail. It was a weird mixture of past and present. I was being attacked by Jerry, but Edward would come in and pull him off of me. Edward would pull me to him and hold me, talking to me softly until I stopped crying.
She eyed me for a moment, giving me a second. When it came to conversations concerning Jerry, she gave me space and comfort. "Let's get dressed," she blurted out. "We'll call Alice. We'll go shopping and even hit the spa. I could use some pampering, and you could, too."
I snorted, nodding and wiping my tears away with the back of my hand. "Lead on, fearless leader."
We spent the first part of the day shopping for furniture and arranging deliveries. Alice had an amazing talent for design, putting colors and textures together. We found out she went to school for design. She'd never mentioned it before, but she was considering opening her own interior design business.
After manicures, pedicures, and getting our hair done, we went back to Rose's to get dressed for the evening. My heart stammered in my chest as I picked up the box I was bringing with us. I hadn't opened it, hadn't even double-checked that it was what I wanted. I had left the details to Heidi, trusting her completely. And I was sure that wouldn't be disappointed. But I was going to see it for the first time along with everyone else.
It took two cigarettes and a lot of tugging by Alice to get me in the doors of the bar we were meeting everyone. I was immediately bum-rushed by Emmett and Jasper. Jasper took the box from my hands and hugged me tightly, kissing my cheek.
"Hey, Bells," he smiled, his slight Southern accent coming through, "what the hell is this?"
"Never mind," I smirked. "Just put it down. You'll find out."
"Okay," he smiled, setting it in the middle of the table.
"Belly," Emmett beamed, wrapping his large arms around me and lifting me off the floor. "You're a sight for sore eyes, baby girl. What did ya bring me?" he smiled sweetly, setting me back down.
"I'm fine, Em...and just wait," I smiled, but it wavered when I finally saw him.
He was standing off to the side, watching all of us closely. Edward looked amazing, but so tired. There were dark patches under his eyes, and his skin looked slightly pale. He was wearing dress black pants and a black button down. Just standing there holding a beer, he drew me to him.
"Hey, Bella," he nodded, not approaching me.
"Hey," I sighed.
"Presents," Emmett urged like a child. I knew what he doing. Emmett was keeping the mood light for the moment. I couldn't love him more if I tried in that moment.
"I refuse to give you anything unless I get a drink!" I chuckled, pointing to him.
"Done," he boomed, running off.
"You know, he's like having a pet," I mumbled, shaking my head. I looked over when Edward snorted, looking down at the floor. A beer landed on the table in front of me.
"Now, presents," Emmett smirked, folding his giant arms.
"Fine," I shook my head. "Have at it. They're all the same."
The box was ripped open, hands grabbing.
"No way," Jasper smiled flipping through the scrapbook I'd had made. "When did..."
"When I got to New York," I nodded, flipping through my own copy. "I couldn't sleep the first night home, so I downloaded everything to my computer. I separated what I needed for my real book, and these were what were left over. Us," I shrugged.
"Belly, this rocks," Emmett smiled, not looking up.
They were comparing pictures, remembering events and laughing as I slowly and quietly turned my own pages. I flinched with every picture of Edward, but it was one picture that stopped me short. It was of the two of us. We were laughing, sitting in front of a small creek, our packs around us. We only had eyes for each other. I don't even know who took it. Suddenly, the bar became too close, too much to stay in.
"I need..." I breathed, closing my book and setting it down. "I want a cigarette." I sighed, knowing there wasn't one person with me that would let me leave, but I needed space. I slipped out of the booth, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Once the cool air hit my face, I felt a little better. I found a bench a block down and sat, pulling out a cigarette. I lit it, taking a long, deep drag, but my hands continued to shake.
I stared down at a leaf tumbling down the street. I jumped when I heard Edward's voice.
"Bella," he sighed, sitting down next to me. I couldn't look at him. I just continued to watch the leaf swirl and tumble in the night's cool breeze. "I owe you an apology."
"It's fine, Edward," I sighed, closing my eyes at just saying his name.
"No, it's not," he said, his voice terse. "Will you please look at me, baby?"
"Don't call me that," I snapped, shaking my head.
"Fine, then. Just listen. I lied, Bella. That whole conversation was a lie. I didn't mean any of it. Someone had been listening to my phone calls," he growled. I could see in my peripheral vision his hand run through his hair. "Do you have any idea what it did to me when I had to lie to you, Bella?"
"To you?" I snapped, finally looking up at him. He looked wary and shocked that my gaze finally met his. "Fuck you, Edward." I started to get up, but he grabbed my hand.
"Wait, please," he begged, getting up to kneel in front of me. "I'm so, so fucking sorry, love. I didn't want to do it. But they were watching you, sweetheart. We had no choice. I had to make it sound like we weren't together so that they couldn't use you against me."
"Who?"
"Harper."
"Gwen's father?"
"Yes," he nodded, his eyes filling with liquid remorse. He was completely telling the truth, but it didn't erase the memory. "Look," he frowned, reaching to his back pocket. "Remember earlier that day when I asked you where you had been about an hour prior? You were on your way to the park with Maggie?"
I nodded, taking what he was handing me. "Why?" I gasped, looking down at a picture of myself at the coffee shop.
"He still blames me for Gwen. This was a warning when Emmett and I took over the company." He reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear. "God, Bella, I'm really sorry. I meant none of it, I swear. I just wanted you safe. I just needed time to fix it. I love you, baby. I would do anything to repair my mistakes."
"You..." I sobbed, gritting my teeth to stop from going into hysterics. "You really hurt me."
"I know," he nodded, his own tears threatening to fall. "I'll do whatever you want me to."
"Did you fix it?"
"Yes," he nodded, picking up my hand. "We put a guard on you. We had the men arrested. We even had to fire someone inside the company that was passing information."
I nodded, pulling my hand from his. His touch, his warmth, made me want to wrap myself around him. He looked crestfallen, but nodded to himself in understanding.
"I need time, Edward," I sobbed, finally letting my emotions take over. "You were right. I don't know you."
"No, no...you're the only one that really knows me, baby," he countered, reaching for my face. He wiped my tears away with his thumbs. "I only wanted you safe."
"You could have prepared me, emailed me. Gone through Rose," I cried, sniffling. "You could have just done nothing and let them think you blew me off. You didn't have to shatter everything. You didn't have to fucking break me, Edward."
"I should have done it all differently," he said, his voice rising in volume. "I should have flown you to me immediately and sent for your things. I should have wrapped you up and kept you safe myself. I know, love. I fucking know! I fucked up. I listened to someone else instead of my heart."
"Who?"
"Our lawyer," he grimaced. "He made it seem like the only way. He was wrong. We were all fucking wrong."
"You always listen to the wrong people," I mumbled, frowning when he huffed a bitter laugh. "So what? You made mistakes, you lied, and I'm supposed to forget everything you said?"
"No," he shook his head. "I want to earn your trust back." He picked up both my hands in his, kissing my fingers. "You never ran. You listened to every fucking thing I've ever told you, and I ruined that faith. I can't say I'm sorry enough. Like I said, I'll do whatever you want me to."
"I want to hit you," I growled. "I want to hurt you like you hurt me. I want to get Emmett to beat the shit out of you."
He barked a rough laugh. "For you? He'd do it in a heartbeat."
I couldn't help but smile. He tilted his head at me, looking up at me through his long eyelashes. "I know you need time, love." I nodded, my tears starting again. "I love you, baby, so very much. My life is shit without you. You need to know that. I miss you. I miss Maggie. I miss holding you, kissing you. I miss talking to you everyday. You're my whole world, Bella. I'll crawl on my knees to get you to see it."
"All I want is what we had, and I don't see that right now," I sniffled. "I think you let out a little bit of truth in that conversation," I sighed. "Don't shake your head, Edward. It feels like you could so easily switch personalities, so easily push me away. I can't live like that, wondering if the next time there's a threat or a problem that you could just toss me aside."
"I was sick, baby. I was sick for a week after that conversation. The lie was poison to me, love. I'll never lie to you again," he vowed. "I'll never push you away. I swear it. On my heart and soul, I swear it."
"And I don't believe you," I sighed, looking away from him.
He lifted my face with the tips of his fingers under my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Then I'll make you believe me. I love you. There's no one else for me but you. I'll get you to see it again."
I wanted to tell him that I loved him, too, and that nothing else mattered, but I couldn't. I wanted to smile and say all was forgiven, but the words wouldn't come.
He nodded at my silence, leaning up to kiss my forehead. "Time. I know."
He stood up, offering me his hand. I took it, because I couldn't not take it. It was a sign of peace, a symbol of starting over. "There's a rumor," he said quietly, his crooked smile causing my heart to skip beats. "You're officially moving tomorrow."
I smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah."
"Can I help?"
I looked up at him. If we were going to do this, if we were going to completely start over, I needed to see him, be with him. "Yeah, I could use the help," I smiled.
"I'll show up with Emmett, then," he smiled, but I could see he was fighting that glorious grin of his. "And thank you for the present."
I nodded, frowning and tucking my hair back as we stood in the breeze. "I guess we should go back in."
He smiled, offering me his arm. "Then let's get you back to them. They've missed you, too."
A/N...So now she's home. And you gotta love Charlie. Seriously. He can see through her instantly. And she knows the whole story, and tore Edward up about it. Good for her. And at least he's willing to admit it was all stupid.
Next chap, you'll hear from Emmett. He has an interesting outlook on everything as it is...
And Alice...she cracks me up. She's like a little spy inside Cullen Construction. LOL
Okay...thanks to JenRar for beta'ing this for me. As always, cleaning up my messes.
So how long until she forgives him? How long until he loses it? Review for me. Let me hear it. Tell me all about it. Later...