Although the luminescence of the carnival was hypnotizing, although the serenity she felt with her hand in his was fulfulling, although the noise of laughter made her heart fill with joy, she had the demon of chaos crawling under her skin.
Something was going to happen. Something bad, something that she's scared to face.
She gave his gloved hand a strong squeeze, as if to remind herself to return to reality, to return to him.
He pulled her close to him and pecked her on the cheek, his lips providing her the content he was experiencing.
"Relax, Star. This will turn out fine," he assured, voice sweet and breath hot.
She felt a shiver run up her spine as his mouth planted an adoring kiss onto her cheekbone. When he pulled back, her face was tinted with a shade of red, a shy grin forming to accompany it. She tucked thick strands of hair behind her ear with her free hand as a smile of his own graced his features.
Before she knew it, she was inches above the ground, but not on her command.
"You're adorable," the boy confessed with a firm grip on her waist, spinning her around in complete circles. She found herself giggling as she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned down so that their noses were touching. All the while, she remembered to savour the moment, to soak in the details and emotions, for she feared time would make this end too fast.
"And you are adorable as well," she complimented when her feet touched the ground, much to her disappointment. It was then she noticed the crowd of people surrounding them, most staring with their cameras and phones out, all flashing lights on them.
She heard a nervous chuckle emanate from the boy before her, and she followed him with one of her own. Honestly, she didn't know what to do. Little by little, the blinding lights and fans were no longer friends, but enemies. It may have been her imagination but it felt like they were closing in on her, different hands and different minds touching her when she did not allow it. She had to refrain herself from shooting starbolts or throwing punches but she did not stop herself from moving.
Who would've known it would end up like this, even though it just begun?
"Robin," she called, haunted by the thought that if she let go of his hand, he would slip away. She didn't know why, didn't know why it was happening so suddenly, but it was like walls were closing in on her and suffocating her. It felt like she was being touched, given new scars. She didn't want to be touched, didn't want to be touched, didn't want to be touched.
"Starfire, it's okay," he said, putting a protective arm around her waist. "We're fine. They'll let us go."
The chatter and unnecessary flashes were starting to annoy her, all the different questions and selfish snapshots. Really, all she wanted was a humble night out, free of worry. All of this was overwhelming. Sure, her and her teammates had dealt with huge crowds before, but they weren't alone, unable to get through. Inquiries were spit at them with no way out. Then his breath was on her ear again. "Fly out. I'll meet you at the tower," he softly ordered, pressing a quick kiss to her ear. She nodded her head at him and obliged, levitating above the head-splitting amount of people that decided to trap them and flew out, taking one last look back at another damaged outing.
Once she was out of the park she descended to the ground and landed flat on her feet, wanting to walk and take in the night. She tried to look at the bright side, thankful that this time Beast Boy was not the cause of another failed date.
How come she couldn't have at least one nice date with that boy? Is that aspect in their relationship somehow jinxed? She didn't find it fair. If only all those people could've understood that they wanted it to go right this time. But maybe they were so excited about their heroes they couldn't help themselves? They couldn't have been bad people.
Her lips curved into a small smile as her thoughts trailed from one thing to another, from the way his lips printed kisses on her skin to the way he called her adorable to the way he always called her cutie or to the way he kissed her she was nearly paralyzed because he was just totally amazing to the way he wore black and to the way she left.
No, no, not something to make her night worse! She didn't need that, not now.
She bit her lip and shook her head as if to clear her head of the "impurities" that plagued her. She was with someone else. She shouldn't be lingering on the past; she should live in now. So she forced a smile onto her face, hoping for it to be true very soon and continued to walk under the stars that glimmered and gleamed. She stretched her arm out as if to grab the elegant specks of light, hoping that they would entangle in her fingers the same way they entangled in her hair. It was a beautiful night, a night where it would be perfect to see his face and hear his voice.
She sighed sadly, shaming herself for thinking in such a way after scolding herself. But why hold back? There was no point. She was alone, and she wasn't one to hold back. So she didn't.
She missed him. She really, truly missed him. She missed him so much it hurt.
It hurt worse than rejection, worse than whips and falling. It hurt worse.
She looked up at the moon, hand subconsciously clutching her heart as the excruciating and numbing pain took its place again. Bottling it up and forgetting it had made it hurt worse. But she did not cry.
She couldn't.
Only because she cannot.
She took deep, shaky breaths and squeezed her eyes shut, needing a moment to collect herself so she could move again. She needed to get to the tower, she needed to get home so that she can meet up with her boyfriend. But she found herself leaning against a dull brick wall, trying to breathe. She cannot breathe because it hurt. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt.
And then there were scents and tastes all too familiar because for some reason she felt a mouth covering her own and it felt like life, it felt warm and comforting and it tasted of smoke and tea.
She felt her lips moving in a practiced sync, hoping that it wasn't all just a dream. X'hal, it felt like fire, and she felt her whole body burn but it was also sweet and kind and it was addicting and arousing and she found the will to cry, her closed eyes shedding tears as nostalgia and heat and adoration filled her and then it was gone, gone as quick as it came and her legs gave out underneath her. She tried to stop her heart from beating so loud and fast, tried to classify what just happened as a vivid hallucination or reality. Either way, it left her confused and happy and greedy all at the same time.
Could it have been him?
Was it really him?
She licked her lips, checking if she could get any leftover taste from the drug. Her lust was blooming all over again and she prayed that it wasn't all a dream.
No, it couldn't have been just a dream. It was real, all too real. Something like that, something so intoxicating and gorgeous could not have been made up. No one could ever do it the way he did. No one had the passion he did.
But why did he come? Why did he come when they broke it off? No, he couldn't have wanted her or missed her that much. She wasn't really anything special.
But he was.
And now she's in a daze, wondering if he felt the same she felt about him or if he felt bad for her or if he could read minds and emotions or what if he couldn't control himself and the list could go on forever and ever.
He missed her, didn't he? To kiss her like that, he had to miss her like crazy and she wished he didn't stop because she wanted to talk to him and touch him and just look at him because he was just perfect to her, for some reason. She wanted more of him and now she's questioning if this will happen again or if it was a one-time thing or if there was even more to come.
Her lips still tingled with the kiss of fire and then there's an unbelievably big smile on her face that makes her cheeks hurt because he was here and he kissed her so beautifully and he was here, here, here, here, here for her and him and him and her and her and him and her and she was just in a shimmering trance because it was him, it was Jason Todd.
"Jason," she whispered, missing the way his name felt on her tongue.
She whipped her head around, looking at her surroundings. She could've sworn she heard her own name in the wind.
"Star, I'm so sorry about that," the masked hero apologized, peppering her face with guilty kisses.
"It is not your fault," she smiled, tangling her hand in his dark locks. She pushed his head forward and covered his mouth with hers, but it wasn't the same, not the same at all. She then wrapped him in an embrace, resting her head on his shoulder and burying her face in his neck. She inhaled his scent, always satisfied with how... how nice it was.
They were currently in the lobby of their home, recapping on their journey back home. He told her he activated a harmless smoke bomb (he wanted to make sure she heard "harmless") and then "grapple hooked" his way out of the amusement park. As he continued to ramble on to her, she accidentally drifted off, her attention shifting to the fire kiss. It was like sparks and fireworks and everything in between and wow it was perfect and it was all she could think at the moment but the spell was broken when the boy snapped his fingers, his brows slightly raised.
"You alright, Star?"
The princess shook her head and blinked a few times before responding with an "I apologize. I am rather tired."
"C'mon, then. Let's get to bed," he replied as he laced their fingers together and walked into the Ops room, ignoring the usual activities of the other three, who were too enchanted to take notice in them.
"Wanna sleep in my room tonight?" he offered, a childlike smile gracing him. She scrunched her nose and shook her head.
"You do the sleep-talking. I do not associate with those who disturb my rest," she teased, flipping her crimson hair.
The boy scoffed, hand now on his chest. "Well, excuse me. At least I don't kick in my sleep like a certain someone," he retorted, one brow raised and masked eyes on her.
She laughed, pecking his nose before floating to her door. "I shall be back, my dear Robin."
She allowed the door to scan her hand and entered her room, quickly opening her drawer and grabbing shorts and a t-shirt. She changed quickly before exiting and reaching her boy's door, hoping for her mind to be kind to her.
"Oh, Rooobbiiiinnn..." she taunted, levitating a few inches above the ground with pointed toes. The door slid open and she was roughly tugged inside and pulled into a searing kiss.
"Are you actually, really tired?" he asked once they broke it off, wagging his eyebrows.
She laughed.