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Ch.12- "Returned Once More"
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The port they docked in was a tiny fishing village that seemed nearly deserted. The few men that remained, hauling their nets full of writhing fish out of rickety boats, gave disgusted, hate filled glares to the disembarking Nohrians, but remained silent. Nerr didn't care to look at the villagers, men and women and children all gawking at them like demons that had just risen from Hell in their midst. She didn't care to look at anything, for it was all painfully bright, the strong Hoshidan sun reflecting on everything and blinding her. Stumbling down the gangplank, her hands held up to cover her eyes, she ran into something- or someone, rather- nearly falling off the dock. A pair of gentle, but strong, hands grabbed her forearms, pulling her back onto terra firma.
"You'd best tread carefully, Lady Nerr; it takes a while to get used to walking on solid ground again after weeks at sea." She squinted between her fingers, just able to see Kaze looking down at her.
"My sea legs are not the problem, Kaze. My inability to actually see anything is."
"You're not the only one with that problem, Nerr." Leo's voice sounded like he was talking through clenched teeth, and he too stumbled off the ship, covering his eyes with both hands. "I swear to the gods, I thought I'd gone blind when the sun rose this morning."
"This is torture!" Camilla had opted to comb more of her long lilac curls over her face so as to keep both her hands free to catch herself as she tottered over to her siblings. With her tall heels, she seemed to be having the most difficulty walking. "How can anyone live in this place? It's not even midday yet, and I feel like I'm being roasted alive."
"Aren't you all overreacting just a little bit? It's so balmy out; it feels wonderful." Three pairs of eyes turned to glare at Azura- not that she could see, as they were all at least partially concealed. The songstress hopped off the gangplank, looking in higher spirits than Nerr had ever seen her. She inhaled deeply and sighed, a faint smile turning up her lips. "It's been too long since I've smelled sunlight like this..."
"I fully agree, milady." Even Kaze was smiling a bit. "It's nice to have a visual reminder that it's daytime. In Nohr, every time I woke up and it was still dark, I would be tempted to go back to sleep. The gloominess is... oppressive."
"Not to me, it ain't..." A gruff, but quiet voice spoke up behind them. Nerr felt her heart stop for a moment before she remembered who was speaking. She hadn't even noticed Shura walk past her; clearly, he'd been practicing his ninja skills...
"I thought you would enjoy being back home, Shura." She whispered so only he could hear her. The older man scoffed loudly, before remembering that he was addressing a princess. With her eyes somewhat adjusted to the harsh light, she could see that he'd drawn the cowl of his olive green cloak over his head. She wished she had thought to do that.
"This is no home of mine, milady. My lands are nothing more than ashes and graves now. Besides, I've lived in Nohr for twenty years; my body can't handle Hoshidan weather anymore..."
"That makes two of us." She muttered. It was hard to believe that she had been born in this country. She was supposed to be here, her blood was supposed to be here, but it seemed her body was rejecting even the climate. She had put on a tunic that covered more skin than Camilla's ridiculous armor, but the tiny sliver that remained exposed where she'd left the band strings unlaced was burning painfully. Glancing down, she groaned.
"I'm actually getting a rash from this sun. Xander!" She called up to the deck. The eldest prince was still aboard, giving orders to the sweating and panting soldiers. Unlike the rest of them, he was not shielding his eyes, but he would've looked more impressive were they not completely shut. "We're going to scout ahead to find somewhere to set up camp. Somewhere shadier than this, gods willing." Xander tried to look down at her, but quickly shut his eyes again.
"Good thinking, Nerr. I'll remain here and oversee the unloading. Send a scout when you've found a suitable location."
She barely waited for her brother to finish speaking. Assuming Leo and Azura were following her, preferably with their retainers in tow, Nerr set off in search of shade. The alleys between the house provided a bit of blessed relief, but she could see faces peering out at her through the dirty windows. The hateful eyes lurking in the shadows made her skin crawl, but she knew she would have to get used to it- after all, they would probably have to stop in many Hoshidan villages, to procure supplies, even to get from one place to another. And every one of those villages would see them as the enemy, the evil Nohrians come to destroy them... Breathing deeply, the princess pushed those thoughts deep down where they could no longer bother her, the shadows in her mind less substantial than the shadows in the alley.
000
Marching under the harsh, Hoshidan sun would be exponentially worse than any journey in Nohrian land. And even though their regiment was not large, barely a hundred soldiers, it was big enough that if even half their numbers fell ill due to the unfamiliar environment, their forces would be crippled. They would hardly be able to besiege any castle with fifty soldiers. They would have to camp often to avoid fatigue in this weather, but that would leave them vulnerable to enemy attacks... Gods, if conquering Hoshido was truly what Father wanted, then he would've been well-advised to put someone other than her in charge of the first wave of attacks. Groaning, Nerr leaned back against a thick tree trunk, closing her eyes, only to find a blinding red instead of cooling black. The tree's leafy crown provided much-needed shade from the glaring sun, though, and there was a small forest further back. Half a mile out from the village they made port in, it would hardly be considered covering any kind of ground, but she figured taking time to adjust the to many changes Hoshido brought made up for that.
"Is something wrong, sister?" She opened her eyes to see Leo approaching her, his hands clasped behind his back. His fair cheeks were flushed from the heat as well. "This sun is getting to you, isn't it?" Nerr's lips curled up into a smile, though there was nothing but bitterness in her thoughts.
"When I first came to Hoshido, all those months ago, I thought it would be the death of me. Not because it was hot, but because it was so bright. I couldn't sleep the entire time I was here. Gods, it's winter; it shouldn't be this hot!" Her brother moved to stand beside her, rocking back and forth slightly as he looked out at the open fields and winding dirt roads. Nerr had only seen such brilliant vistas in storybooks; she had never imagined such a place could be real.
"It's not hard to see why Hoshido is such a bountiful land, is it?" Leo's voice was quiet, reflective. "Their weather doesn't shift as drastically as ours. It's warm year round, and they have ample rainfall and few storms... It seems like paradise." He gave her a sidelong look. "It would be an easy place to miss. Azura clearly does..."
"Azura doesn't know any better." Nerr replied shortly. "She was raised here. She's nostalgic for it."
"Her family's here... Your family's here."
"My family is standing right beside me, Leo, and I'll thank you not to bring it up again." Pushing herself away from the tree, she glanced around. "We'll set up camp here, for tonight. Half our soldiers are blind from the sun, half can't walk- we won't be getting any further than this, I'd reckon."
"You have a point." Leo, unlike many other people, was prudent enough to know when to let a subject drop. "I'll send Niles and Odin back to town to tell Xander our position. The rest of us can scout a bit ahead. Who knows; there might be some orchards that haven't been completely picked over yet." Nerr frowned at her brother.
"You're going to steal farmer's crops?" The younger boy rolled his eyes, taking a few steps ahead of her before looking back, his haughty, 'don't-you-know-anything?' look firmly back in place.
"We're at war, Nerr. The peasants should be grateful we're just taking a bit of fruit instead of burning down their villages and killing their livestock. That's what real soldiers do, and it we want to minimize our losses, we'll start doing that ourselves." Nerr stomped forward, her demeanor so overbearing that Leo shrank back a bit, effectively letting the older, but shorter, girl stand over him.
"Peasants might not be people to you, Leo, but they are to me. So I don't ever want to hear another suggestion like that come out of your mouth again. Do I make myself clear?"
"P-perfectly, sister..." Exhaling sharply, she stalked past him, her mind reeling in anger, not just at Leo, but at herself.
In truth, she knew he was right. The more damage they caused, the harder it would be for Hoshido to recover. If they just cut off all the food sources, the people would starve and be forced to surrender... or die. She had read in countless texts that pillaging the countryside and slaughtering the farmers was the easiest way to victory- it was undoubtedly why Garon had sent her to Hoshido first; as far as he knew, she had no problem killing innocent civilians. But even though her mind told her it was the smart thing to do, the logical thing that would end the war quicker, her soul- that tiny shred of it that wasn't yet mangled into something unrecognizable and ugly- rebelled at the very thought. Slowing down slightly, she shivered, despite the intense heat.
"Is something wrong, my lady?" Nerr flinched. She must've been immersed deeper in her thoughts than she'd first believed to not even notice Gunther falling in step beside her. She smiled up at her retainer, trying to ignore the way her stomach churned.
"Of course not, Gunther. I don't even know why you'd think that."
"Many reasons. First and foremost, it seems odd to be chilled on such a warm day..."
"There was a breeze, I'm drenched in sweat; I think that's pretty self-explanatory."
"You're gritting your teeth."
"No, I'm not." Nerr actively unclenched her jaw, picking up her pace. Of course, she always seemed to forget that the older knight could easily match her pace, even at an outright run. The way he towered over her, it was usually all she could do to keep up with him.
"You're evading me."
"No, I'm not!" The princess was starting to lose her temper. Why couldn't he just be like Leo and let it go? She stopped short as Gunther stepped in front of her, blocking her. For the briefest second, she felt compelled to just reach out and push him away; with her draconic strength, she could probably knock him to the ground. That would teach him to keep pestering her. However, no sooner had the thought entered her head than it was banished by a wave of revulsion and horror. How could she even think something like that? How could she even entertain the possibility of ever doing anything, anything to hurt her most beloved retainer. Nerr quickly took a step back, holding her hands tightly to her chest as if to ensure they did not somehow reach out to act on their own.
"...Lady Nerr? I mean it, are you all right?" Concern overtook his vexed skepticism, and Gunther reached out, perhaps to feel her forehead, to see if some heatstroke was responsible for her odd behavior. Nerr backed away even further.
"Don't touch me!" Her voice sounded like a hysterical shriek to her own ears, and given the way Leo, Azura and Jakob all stared at her, it probably sounded even worse to them. Oh, she wanted to crawl under a rock and die... Lowering her head, she covered her eyes. Her heart was pounding, a potent cocktail of fear and anger and disgust boiling inside her and making her head throb. "I'm sorry, Gunther. I am so sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that... I just... I don't feel well." She whispered, not even sure if she spoke loud enough for him to hear. It was the truth, or at least, truth enough.
"If anyone should be apologizing, it is I, my lady. I should know better than to needle you when you're under stress." His voice, that 'I-am-a-dutiful-retainer' tone, made her even sicker.
"My head hurts..." She moaned, more to herself than anything. As such, she hadn't been expecting any comments.
"Again? You've been having headaches nearly every day these past few weeks..." That response came as enough of a surprise that Nerr stood up straight, trying to look Gunther in the eye, but failing miserably as the sun stabbed at her, causing her to cover her own eyes again.
"What are you talking about, Gunther? I've been fine." She was lying, of course- the headaches had been an almost daily fixture for months, now.
"Don't insult my intelligence, Lady Nerr; I've known you long enough to know when you are ill. I can see it in your face. You try to act like nothing's wrong, so I assumed it must not bother you too much, but you are clearly not well." She turned away from him, not wanting to be on the receiving end of his worry anymore, but Gunther was nothing if not tenacious; years of trying to evade her lessons taught her that. "There are healers in the regiment, and that... Jakob has to be good for something." It would've been funny, the way he sneered the butler's name, had she not been trying to lose him, and had the heat not been suffocating her. "Why don't you tell them you aren't feeling well-"
"Because I'm fine!" Nerr turned around once more, feeling exasperated far beyond her endurance. It was the War of the History Lessons all over again... "Because I'm fine, and it's nothing, and it's just a headache! I appreciate your concern, mother, but I'm- Oh!" Everything shimmered and wavered in the blinding sun, and it suddenly felt as if she were standing on water rather than solid ground, a violently pitching sea. Windmilling her arms to try and keep her balance was for naught as she was sent stumbling face first in the dirt. Or at least, she would've been, had a pair of strong arms not caught her, arms that most definitely did not belong to Kaze this time.
"Lady Nerr! Lady Nerr, can you hear me? Are you alright?" She could barely hear anything over the ringing in her ears. When she closed her eyes, she became aware of how fast her heart was beating, she could almost hear it thundering in her chest. Or maybe the thundering was coming from the ground, which vibrated as feet ran over it, closer and closer. There were more people talking, she could definitely make out Jakob's voice, but there was another sound that drowned it out. It was like a hundred, thousand bats squeaking in her ears, screaming... was she screaming? No... no, but there was screaming... Opening her eyes, Nerr forced herself to blink, and again, and again. It was faint now, there were so many people talking, but it was still there. Breathing hard, she pushed herself away from Gunther, stumbling away from the group of her siblings and retainers. The ground seemed slightly more steady under her feet now.
"Lady Nerr! You need to rest!" Jakob was in a downright panic, but she couldn't rest, not when she could still hear the screaming.
"Don't you hear it?"
"Hear what? Nerr, please, sit down. I think the heat is getting to you." Azura trotted over to her, trying to take her hand and pull her back, but the other princess pulled away.
"No! Don't you hear it? The screaming! Someone's screaming! Someone's in trouble!"
"You're hearing things, sister. No one's scream-"
"Wait!" Kaze spoke up suddenly, a sharpness in his tone that actually made the Nohrian prince go quiet. He seemed to be concentrating on something, his brows furrowed. "I hear it too..."
"Someone is screaming..." Shura seemed to hone in on the sound too. "A lot of people- that's a village being raided!"
"How do you know that?" Leo asked skeptically, unable to keep the irritation off his face. He had made it clear time and again that he did not appreciate Nerr's decision to spare the former shinobi's life. Shura matched the prince's glare in intensity, at least, though the loathing was replaced with misery.
"Once you live through that, you never forget it, sire. The smell, the sounds... It's imprinted on my soul."
"Hey!" Nerr snapped at him. "There's no time for mournful reminiscing; people are dying right now! We have to go help them!" Leo actually laughed aloud at that, a cruel bark of laughter.
"Are you serious, Nerr? Gods, you've got heatstroke for sure. You expect us to go run headlong into a raid? Of a Hoshidan village? With no backup?"
"Well, it seems I can expect very little of you in this matter, Leo, so you can stay behind and tell Xander where I've gone when he gets here with the soldiers." Turning on her heel, she began running towards the direction of the screams... At least, until everything veered to the left and she stumbled, falling to her knees in the dirt. Gunther and Jakob were the first ones at her side, picking her up. It was so much like being back home that she almost smiled.
"My lady, be reasonable! You can barely stand- how do you expect to fight anyone?"
"I'll figure something out."
"Milady, please! We don't need you killing yourself over some random, Hoshidan peasants! We're probably too late, anyway- everyone's probably already dead-"
"No!" The princess pulled away from them, not running this time, but walking as quickly as she could. "There must be some survivors! Gods willing, some of them escaped, but if there's even one person left alive... I have to do something!" She didn't care if they followed her or not, but it was still a happy surprise to see Azura run up to her.
"I'm coming too, Nerr. Somebody has to protect you from yourself..."
"I will join you as well, milady."
"Me too." Kaze and Shura were close behind her. She smiled gratefully at them. She knew the fact that she was apparently deigning to help Hoshidans was what was compelling them to follow her more than anything (even Shura, though he clearly would not admit it), just as she knew the second she took another step, Gunther and Jakob would race to catch up with her. Leo... he could go either way, and she would not hold it against him if he chose to remain behind, but in her heart, Nerr prayed that he would come as well. He was a hero, the Rainbow Sage had said it himself. Heroes were supposed to help the hopeless.
000
The village wasn't even a quarter mile away, but unfortunately, it seemed the pillagers worked quickly. By the time they had reached it, the houses and fields had been set ablaze. There was no more screaming, only the callous laughter of the bandits as they plundered the destroyed homes for what few possessions the villagers had owned. It was odd to see Hoshidans like this- they reminded Nerr of Shura's pirates still locked in the ship's brig, in their filthy, ragged clothes, their thin faces stretched into monstrous grins as they ran away with the spoils of their crime. The princess rammed her pauldron covered shoulder against one of the wooden doors, knocking it down and stumbling inside. There was such thick smoke she could barely breathe, much less see, but there was a figure standing in front of her. She had thought, hoped, that it was one of the villagers, until the hazy figure took a swing at her, his sword scraping against her cuirass. As she squinted in the haze, she could see the slumped form of a woman against the wall behind him, her belly sliced open. The man, who was taking aim again, had fresh blood on his filthy robes. It was easier to pretend her eyes were tearing up because of the smoke as she unsheathed her Yato and ran forward, driving her blade between his ribs until it reached the hilt. She didn't even wait to watch him die as she wretched the sword out, turning away and running back out.
All around her, her siblings and retainers were doing the same, cutting down every bandit that ran past them. One of them escaped being impaled by Leo's magic, only to get an arrow to the skull. There was no guilt, no remorse, as Nerr stabbed another, and another, adding to the blood soaking into the ground, the piles of bodies scattered about. Only regret; why couldn't she have heard anything sooner, why didn't she get there faster...? Why was there only death here...? A sound, a barely audible whimper, carried over the crackling flames and moans of the dying bandits. Keeping her sword aloft, the princess headed away from the village, past the fields and towards a small forest that skirted the river. The whimpering grew louder, the further she walked from the cacophony of destruction. It might've just been a ruse, that was entirely possible, but if there was a chance that even one person could be alive. Lowering her sword ever so slightly, Nerr crept closer to the line of trees.
"Hello?" She called out, hearing her own uncertainty. No one had followed her; no one had probably even seen her leave the village, thinking she had just gone into another house to look for survivors. Leo would have many words with her when he found out about this...
"Hello? Is someone there?" The sparse forest was filled with dappled sunlight, looking much too peaceful to be juxtaposed against a ravaged village. One of the shadows moved, and Nerr readied her sword, stepping closer. It was a brown lump, huddled against the roots of one of the trees- the whimpering grew louder as she approached. Breathing deeply, and trying to fend off the lightheadedness that threatened to overtake her, the princess reached down, throwing the brown cloak from the shaking figure. At once, she lowered her blade, too shocked to do anything but stare mutely at what she had uncovered. It was hardly a bandit, that much was certain. A little girl, no older than Elise, lay curled in a ball on the dirt, her homespun clothes dirty and spotted with blood. Soot covered her face, showing clear trails where tears had fallen fast and hard. She was so small... Nerr sheathed her Yato, kneeling down in the decomposing leaves.
"Are you all right?" She whispered, as if speaking in her normal tone might somehow injure the girl. The villager whimpered loudly, tears springing up anew in her eyes and spilling onto her cheeks as she shook her head, paying no mind to the leaves and twigs matting in her hair.
"N-n-no!" She cried. "M-m-my mother...! My mother w-wouldn't take my hand...! She... she's..." The girl curled up tighter and began weeping in earnest, her sobs wracking her body. Nerr felt tears sting her own eyes as she looked down at the girl. If she had come sooner... Gingerly, she reached out, placing a gentle hand on the Hoshidan girl's arm.
"I am... so sorry... I wish I could've done more to help you, but we came too late..."
" 'We'?" The girl looked up at her, and her brown eyes huge with their tears. "Who's 'we'? Who are you?" Nerr wasn't sure how to answer that. She knew Hoshidans did not take kindly to Nohrians, especially those of the royal variety, but she couldn't lie to the girl- she'd find out eventually. She opted to settle on a variant of the truth.
"We're the good guys. We dealt with the bandits who attacked your village; they won't ever hurt anyone again." Sniffling, the girl sat up slowly.
"Are you soldiers? You have armor... and a sword."
"...yes. I'm a soldier."
"...are you Nohrian?" And there it was. Well, she wouldn't have asked like that if she didn't already know. Sighing deeply, Nerr nodded.
"Yes, that's right. I'm Nohrian." The girl was quiet for a long time, looking down at the dirt.
"...mother always said Nohrians were evil... that all they wanted was to kill us and take our land..." The princess cringed mentally at those words. If that was what the girl thought, then maybe it would be better if she just left. The bandits were dead, and someone from another village would probably come along and find her... Just as Nerr was about to move away, a quiet voice gave her pause. "But... it wasn't Nohrians that attacked us... it wasn't Nohrians that took my mother... my life..."
"No. But we are sorry we couldn't stop the people who did." Both girls were quiet for a long time. Breathing deeply, Nerr tried to smile, to look as nonthreatening as possible. "What's your name?"
"...Mozume..."
"That's a pretty name. My name is Nerr. Do you have any family nearby, in another village, maybe? I'll take you to them." Mozume broke down into another wave of tears, shaking her head as she brought her dirty hands up to her eyes.
"N-n-no... I don't have a-a-anyone anymore...! All I had was Mother...! Now she's gone... E-everyone's gone...!" Nerr could think of nothing else to do, so she reached out and pulled the crying girl into a hug.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." There was nothing else she could say, nothing else she could think... To be the only person left, to have no one else in the world... She couldn't fathom how much pain Mozume must've felt at that moment. There were no words that could make it better, so she just knelt there, in the dirt and leaves, letting a strange Hoshidan cry on her. After a few minutes, the tears seemed as if they would stop, but as a loud voice echoed between the trees, the young girl flinched, and began crying anew.
"Nooo..." She moaned in Nerr's shoulder. "No more...! No more, please...!"
"It's okay, Mozume. That's just my brother, Leo. He's not going to do anything to you, I promise." She called back over her shoulder, wishing she didn't have to shout, both for the crying girl's sake, and the sake of her own head. "Leo! I'm in the woods! And for the love of the gods, stop shouting like a lunatic!" She could hear heavy boots stomping through the undergrowth, the potent smell of sweaty armor and smoke assailing her long before the young prince spoke again.
"There you are, Nerr. I swear; I'm going to tie you on a short lead if you wander away from us one more time- Who's that?" He only just seemed to notice the tiny brown lump cowering in Nerr's arms. She shot him a look.
"This is Mozume. She's one of the villagers." It seemed to finally dawn on him, his mouth falling open in a small 'O'.
"Were there any others?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. She shook her head. Leo sighed, running a hand through his hair. The thin metal band he used to keep his hair back had fallen out, and now, his blond locks fell in his face unrestrained.
"We need to get back. Xander and the other soldiers are probably getting to the camp site by now, and if we're not there, there'll be hell to pay, for the countryside and us."
"But Leo..." She trailed off, looking back at Mozume, who no longer sobbed, but still shook uncontrollably. The words that were lost on her tongue were clear in her mind. 'We can't just leave her here...' The prince sighed deeply.
"Well, I guess we have no choice but to take her with us. Maybe she can stay at that fishing village we made port in."
"Wh-what are you gonna do with me...?" A quiet voice that was muffled by her cape could scarcely be heard.
"We're going to take you somewhere safe. Somewhere you can start over." Nerr got to her feet, gently pulling the young villager to her feet as well. "Don't worry, Mozume. We'll take care of you." Slowly, she pulled her into the sunlight, away from the destruction.
000
As Leo had predicted, Xander was irate when they returned, though some of his fury was lost in the face of their bloodied, singed and disheveled clothes. This time, Azura filled him in on the story, as Nerr led Mozume to a slightly quieter place. The young villager was no longer crying, but she looked so fearful as her eyes darted around the camp, taking in the sight of all the soldiers setting things up. The princess had opted to stay with her, sitting down in the shade of the trees. She was so dizzy, and was having a hard time focusing her gaze... and thoughts. All she wanted was to curl up and go to sleep.
"So..."
"Hm?" As her eyes drifted shut, she could barely hear the Hoshidan speaking.
"It's true? The- the Nohrian army is comin' to invade Hoshido?"
"...I suppose so."
"B-but why? Why can't y'all just... just, y'know... stay in your country and leave us alone?" Even though she wasn't crying, her accent was so thick it was hard to understand her at times. Nerr sighed deeply, laying back on the rough grass. The reasons for war did not interest peasants- all that mattered to them was their homes and livelihoods being destroyed.
"You don't really care, Mozume. Nothing I say can justify it to you, so I'd rather not waste my energy explaining..."
"You can't say that!" Her voice sounded so strong all of a sudden that the other girl actually cracked her eyes open to see the villager glaring down at her. That was the same huffy expression Elise made when she felt she was being treated like a child. "You- you can't say I don't care about the reason! If I didn't care, I wouldn't ask! Everyone's- everyone's got a reason, everyone does things for a reason, people kill for a reason..." Her voice tapered off, until she was just whispering nonsense to herself.
"You're right." Nerr conceded, closing her eyes again. "Everything does happen for a reason, but sometimes, those reasons aren't what you want to hear. My father's henchman nearly killed my retainer, my oldest, dearest friend in the world, and his reason was that he had 'orders'. Do you think that makes me feel better? Do you think it gives me closure? It does not."
"But at least you know... Isn't that better than always wonderin' 'why'?" She had a point... a profound one at that.
"I suppose, in a way... Very well, since it's of such pressing interest to you... We are invading Hoshido because we need resources."
"Wh-what resources?"
"Food, mostly. We have little farmland, and it is hardly suitable for providing the amount of food needed for our people. Hoshido has ample farmland. It's as simple as that." That was all it boiled down to in the end. People could say it was for glory, but the only glory would come from being able to provide for their subjects. Mozume went quiet, and Nerr felt herself drift off in the lull. She was thirsty, but didn't feel like getting up to find something to drink.
"So... You're robbin' us because... you want more food?"
"If the choice is between 'steal' and 'starve', what do you think we should do?" "...I guess... you do what's best for your family..."
"I always do." It was getting harder to keep track of her thoughts, and though she heard Mozume call her name again, she was too tired to answer. She needed a little nap, just for a few minutes... It was so hot...
000
"Lady Nerr~! Hey, wake up~!" Nerr groaned slightly as she tried to brush away the hand pressed to her forehead, a very cool hand, but her arms felt like lead. Blinking slowly, she noticed that there was a roof of canvas over her head, rather than a leafy canopy... as well as a familiar, rose-haired maid smiling down at her.
"F-Felicia...?" Was she still dreaming? Was she dreaming once again that she was back in the Citadel, back in a time uncomplicated by war and horror and tragedy? The other girl smiled widely at her, her pale blue eyes bright in the shadows.
"That's me! Here, let me just fluff your pillow a little- oops! I'll get that!" As Felicia bent over to take Nerr's pillow, she accidentally knocked her rump against the crate serving as a makeshift table, knocking a tin mug to the floor. Despite the fact that her head was spinning in pain and she felt like vomiting, the princess smiled a bit.
"Felicia, what are you doing here? Knocking things over aside... I thought you were back at the Castle?" Jumping back to her feet and setting the (slightly dented) cup back down, the maid perched on the edge of the cot Nerr was laying on. She had no idea when she'd been moved.
"I was. But King Garon sent for reserves to meet the standing army in Dia, and I knew you'd be there, so I... kind of... snuck in with them...?"
"You disguised yourself as a soldier?"
"Well, not really... I just, I didn't... put on my uniform, and no one asked any questions. You see someone carrying a tea tray, you assume they're a domestic; you see someone carrying a staff, you assume they're a healer." Even though she was still smiling, a slight melancholy seemed to dim her expression slightly. "It's not as good working in the castle as it was in the Citadel. Everyone yelled at me when I made mistakes... Nobody wanted to talk to me... It was lonely."
"Felicia..."
"Besides!" At once, her gloomy thoughts seemed to fall away, leaving the ever-chipper Felicia Nerr had come to know in her place. "I knew you'd be in Dia, and you're my liege, after all. I'm supposed to be around to take care of you and stuff. I've been trying to find you since we boarded, but I think we were on different ships... But it's a good thing I did find you! That little Hoshidan girl, Mo-what's-her-face, she said you just passed out in the middle of your conversation!" Nerr balked upon hearing that. She didn't remember anything, only that she had been laying down and feeling ill... She didn't even remember what she had spoken to the girl about.
"...I think I was sick..."
"I'll say! You were burning up when we got there! You haven't had a fever that bad in almost ten years. But you're okay now- I made an ice blanket for you!" The princess smiled gratefully at her.
"You always were quick to come up with ice-related remedies. I suppose I should expect nothing less from the heiress of the Ice Tribe..." At once, Felicia's jovial grin fell away, replaced with blank shock.
"...you know about that?"
"Was it a secret?" Well, it had been from her, so maybe it was, though she doubted Xander didn't know...
"Um, well... no? Not really, I guess, but... I dunno... Father told me and Flora not to mention it to anyone..."
"Oh, well... I won't tell anyone else, if you don't want me to."
"Did Flora tell you?" It seemed that the maid was unaware of Nerr's involvement in her tribe's previous rebellion. Deciding there would be no point in upsetting her with the details, the princess nodded.
"A while ago. Is that bad?"
"No... I guess it's okay if you know, Lady Nerr. You never treat me any different. Back home, everyone treated me and Flora like we were special... I guess they were trying to be nice, but it was lonely. Heiresses aren't supposed to play childish games and act silly, and nobody wants to be friends with someone who only talks about taxes and estate planning... I just wanted to be normal. And I am, here."
It seemed a very strange thing to Nerr that someone could find being a lowly maid more liberating that being the inheritress of a powerful demesne like Freesia, but then she quickly remembered the many burdens that came with being in positions of power... Like having to organize rebellions... or stop them. Having to be responsible for the wellbeing of countless people, all their lives weighing on your shoulders...
"Lady Nerr? Are you okay? You still look pale; do you want me to bring Princess Elise back to look you over?"
"Hm?" Nerr shook her head, smiling once again. "No, I'm fine. I was just thinking about... something."
"Oh... Okay!" It seemed that it did not take much convincing to keep Felicia's jovial spirits high. She was like Elise in that way. "Oh, I forgot! I woke you up because I wanted to know if you were hungry. Our newest recruit showed some of the troops a good hunting ground, and they bagged a boar!"
"Newest... recruit?"
"Yeah! That... Mozu girl, or something. I thought she looked delicate, but she can skin animals like no one's business."
"Wait, what?" Nerr sat up, and ended up nearly falling off the cot as the world seemed to turn on it's side. Felicia reached out to steady her, her cold hands chilling even through the shirt she wore. Breathing deeply for a moment, she tried to steady herself before continuing her train of thought. "What do you mean, Mozume is our 'newest recruit'? We were supposed to take her to the fishing village down south!"
"Well, um... That was the plan... And after we set up the medical tent and saw about you, Princes Xander and Leo even discussed that with her. But she said she didn't want to go to that village; she said she wanted to stay with us. She said that, even if Nohrians did bad things in Hoshido, it didn't mean we were bad people, and she owed it to you to try and help your family, since you tried to help hers. I still don't know what she meant by that- Jakob and Sir Gunther aren't in a really talkative mood to explain anything to me..."
"I'll explain later." Nerr promised. "So... what? She's opted to side with the enemy?"
"I think it's less about that, and more about paying back debts, milady. Or maybe she just sees that you're a nice person. If I had to choose between staying with some random strangers, and staying with the nice princess who saved me, I know what side I'd choose."
"Maybe you're right, Felicia..."
The princess settled back down onto the cot, sighing deeply. In any case, it was probably the safer choice; a sword would have a difficult time cutting itself. Still, she would have to discuss this with her siblings- it seemed morally wrong to bring an untrained child along to a siege. The argument could be made that Elise was a child as well, but she was an adept healer, who's magical prowess was beginning to show signs of being stronger than Leo's (Nerr was in the process of learning how to use tomes as well, but her skill was... lacking to say the least). She would deal with that later, though. There would be time to deal with all of life's many problems later- preferably when she was dead.
"So... what about dinner, Lady Nerr? It's still bright out, but that nice ninja, Kaze, said that it's actually pretty late."
"Hm? Oh, no thank you. I'm not hungry. But you should go eat. And tell Gunther and Jakob that they have orders to go eat as well, instead of loitering outside the medical tent."
"How did you-? Oh, of course you know, because what else would they be doing?" The maid giggled as she got to her feet. "It's been a long time since we've had dinner together; it'll be just like old times!" Nerr's smile stayed in place until the tent flaps closed behind Felicia, at which point she sank back into the thin pillows, exhausted. The constant stream of battles and death was wearing everyone down; even Elise sometimes looked wan and miserable... How long would it be until they were all reduced to empty husks, and it would never be "like old times" again?
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A/N- Felicia's back! I like Felicia better in the localization than the original Japanese version (she comes off as being less "moe"), and I always bench Jakob when she's recruited.
Okay, so I need to explain something here. I know I drastically changed this chapter from Mozume's paralouge in the game, but I did it for a reason. First of all, the flavor text describes her village as being "nearby". ...I'm sorry, but I'm on the far side of Nohr when I unlock that; how the fuck is that nearby? Teleporting IS available in Fates world, but only Iago, Zola and Leo have been shown to actually make use of it, and only in 'Birthright' to boot (well, Conquest for Zola, but I'm getting off topic). Secondly, while it makes sense for her to join the avatar's party in 'Birthright', having just been attacked by Nohrian monsters, that makes absolutely NO sense in 'Conquest'. "The evil Nazi zombies just killed my family; wait for me, evil Nazis; I wanna go with you!" I'm sorry, but I'm not buying that, not for one second. I know doing anything to portray the Glorious Not!Nippon in a bad light is a capital crime punishable by the death penalty, but maybe you could've changed that one plot point just a tiny bit in the 'Conquest' version so as to NOT make Mozume look like the biggest idiot who ever lived? Just a thought.
One other thing that's not related to the story of the games making me cry and fast-forward whenever I play them; people don't seem to realize this, probably because they're too busy looking at Xander, but Gunther is also insanely tall. Depending on which version of the art you're looking at, he's as tall as, if not taller than Xander. I like to judge by the official box art for 'Conquest' (rather than the spread image with Azura), because it makes Elise NOT look like she's five, and it also shows that Gunther has a good two or so inches on our beloved crown prince. Seriously, go pull up a picture of the box art. Older FeMU in bare feet is about an inch shorter than Flora in heels. Flora in heels... barely comes up to Gunther's chest. Ergo, AWMIGOSH, FeMU is so adorably tiny compared to him! That doesn't matter to anyone but me since I'm the only person in the world that ships them apparently, but I wanted to explain that it's not just my head canon that he out paces her so easily; stamina doesn't have anything to do with why he's the last to run out of breath, he just takes longer strides than anyone.