FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY MATTER

Chapter 12

AN: Happy Scorp Monday! Here's the final installment. A big thank you to everyone for the kind words of encouragement. If you enjoyed it, please leave a review.

Paige was not okay.

Walter would recover. He sat in the back of an ambulance while a paramedic tended to the burns on his hands. Still talking a little louder than normal over the ringing in his ears, he was rattling on to Ralph about how fortunate he was to be liberally coated in honey because apparently the goopy substance doesn't conduct electricity and its properties, blah, blah… something about a lack of charged particles and ions or some other physics nonsense. It was all the usual gobbledy gook to Paige.

Ralph was perfectly fine. Once the lights blinked back on and he saw Walter sit up, the boy was just great. As soon as Cabe released them from their forced captivity in the computer room, her son made a beeline to his mentor and had been stuck to the man's side ever since. He kept rhapsodizing about how utterly awesome Walter's plan turned out to be, hero worship obvious in every nuance of his mien.

The FBI agents would live. Pickering was critical, but they managed to life flight him to a nearby hospital and he was expected to pull through. Backheim and Hart's wounds were mostly superficial, but they were both transported via ambulance to get patched up by the closest overworked ER physician.

Even Mark Willis and his partner, who turned out to be the seventeen year old genius the FBI thought he'd kidnapped, were going to make it. The girl was the only one actually inside the ventilation system, but the ex spy was standing near by and leaning in giving instructions to her. His hand was in contact with the duct and Walter's makeshift taser idea was enough to put him out of commission until Cabe and the rest of the cavalry arrived.

But Paige was not okay.

Physically, she was completely unharmed. But she was an emotional dumpster fire as the company shrink would say. Walter had been in mortal danger before, but like a phoenix he kept rising from the ashes of whatever treacherous situation in which he found himself. And she'd never really believed he would be gone forever. His intellect always saved him in the nick of time. To her he'd always seemed invincible, thriving on adrenaline.

But this time she actually thought she'd lost him. And there was so much she'd left unsaid. Everything she'd been angry about seemed so small, petty and insignificant in the face of losing him irrevocably. It was way past time to tell him.

Cabe strolled over and placed an arm around her shoulders. "Are you sure you're alright?" He asked the question so much like a concerned father would it caused the tears that were still hovering too close to the surface to prickle at her eyes again.

"Not really." Paige paused to take a deep breath before saying, "Listen, Cabe, Walter and I need to have a conversation. Could Ralph ride back in the helicopter with you and stay with you for a little while? I'd like to drive Walter back in the rental car so we can have some privacy to talk."

"I'd love some one on one with the kid and he'll love riding in the chopper. So it's win-win. He's welcome to stay over at my place tonight if it helps. Happy and Toby are supposed to stop by for pizza and a game of Risk later. I could use a genius partner against those two."

"Actually, Cabe, that would be great. If it wouldn't be too much trouble."

"It'd be no trouble at all, Paige. I love having Ralph around. You know that. Just let me go get his duffle and we'll be all set."

After the helicopter took off for LA, Paige busied herself loading Walter's and her things in the trunk while the genius finished giving his statement to the authorities. Her hands shook and her mind was a jumble as she put their bags in the car. Where did she even start? So often she'd been impatient with his inability to express his feelings, but here she was struggling with translating her own into words.

When she slid into the driver's seat, she was no closer to figuring out what to say. So, when they began the long drive back, the loaded silence festered between them again.

"You're mad at me for trapping you, aren't you?" Walter said nervously, his eyes trained toward the scenery out the window. Paige could tell he was bracing for her backlash.

"No. Well, yes, actually. That was pretty underhanded. But mostly I'm trying to find a way to say some things, and I don't know where to start."

His gaze dropped to his mesh and gauze-wrapped hands in his lap. "I can start if you want, because I have some things to say as well. I don't think it's a secret I can't stay angry with you for long." His mouth kicked up on one side in a wry smile. "I understand why you said what you said to me when I was in the rocket. You were trying to save me. I get that. When I knew Willis and his accomplice were going to breach the bunker, I couldn't worry about what you would think. I would have done anything to keep you and Ralph out of harm's way. Even if you didn't understand. Even if it hurt your feelings or made you mad at me. And while I'm more protective of the two of you for obvious reasons, I would have done the same thing for any of our friends too. So-so I understand what you did. I have finally come to the conclusion I was upset about everything else mostly because I was embarrassed and hurt. And-and, uh, jealous. I was juvenile and wrong and I really messed up. If you will tell me what I could have done better, I will endeavor to make different choices in the future. I want to be a better…f-friend."

Paige gripped the steering wheel tightly and stared at the road ahead trying to bring herself under control. She'd made such a mess of it all. "No. You're wrong, Walter."

"I just said I was wrong. How I can learn from my mistakes if you won't…"

"Stop. I wasn't talking about the immaturity or the pettiness. Like covering Tim's face in a photo or putting a school desk in the elevator and calling it an office…"

"Not my best decisions."

"Agreed. But I wasn't referring to that. Today, when I thought… For a minute, I thought… You weren't going to make it. Suddenly none of it mattered anymore. You were wrong to think I only said… it back to you because I wanted to save you. I would have said anything, but when I told you I-," Paige choked up and her lip trembled. She swallowed hard. "I love you? Walter, I meant every word."

At first, he sat there in the passenger seat, motionless and mute, so she began to babble. "I realize now the intensity of those feelings really terrified me. And I started to doubt you even actually acknowledged your feelings for me because you only voiced them when you were hypoxic. For all I knew those emotions were locked in your subconscious and when you woke up, you would be back to believing love doesn't exist. And I'd already made the decision to be with Tim. I think now it was just as much of a shield as anything else, and I used it to keep you at a distance. I did my best to see your flaws and stay mad at you, because it was easier than taking a chance and failing. I didn't know if I could survive…"

"Pull over." Walter looked up at her, his eyes blazing with fierce, almost frightening passion.

"What?"

"I love you too, Paige. More than ever. Just pull over."

The car glided to a halt on the shoulder of the road. The second she shifted into park, Walter started to grab her by the shoulders. But he stopped short and winced. "Damn these hands!"

Smiling, she gently took his bandaged hands in hers and placed a kiss on the inside of each wrist. "I don't know. I kinda like 'em."

With no hesitation, Walter leaned across the console and claimed her lips with his. A bolt of desire shot straight through Paige as she kissed him back fervently her tongue sliding into his mouth and stroking his. A husky groan escaped him and she felt it all the way through her body. Her hands left his and made their way to his chest. She slipped her fingers inside his open jacket and stroked him over his shirt. She couldn't get close enough.

He shuddered against her, nipping at her tongue and lips. Then he trailed his open mouth down to her neck and around to the soft spot just behind her ear. He held his hands up on either side of them, wanting so much to touch her and growling with frustration that he couldn't.

The honk of a passing motorist brought them back to their senses. They broke apart panting and staring at one another. Paige suddenly had the absurd recollection of every tepid kiss she'd ever shared with Tim. All of them put together didn't add up to a spark compared with the inferno she'd just experienced with Walter. What the hell was she thinking dating Tim?

"We should probably, uh…" He straightened in his seat, shifting a little uncomfortably.

Clearing her throat, she put the car in drive and started out again. And burst into giggles.

Walter gave her the adorable confused frown she loved. "What's funny?"

"You're even a genius at kissing."

The resulting naughty grin on his face made her want to pull over and have her wicked way with him, broad daylight and public road be damned.

Now that they both admitted their feelings, the walls were down and the open communication began to flow freely. They spent the rest of the drive talking honestly about their concerns about Ralph and the team and about the possible ripple effects. After Paige confessed her fears of abandonment, he spoke about his fears of inadequacy. Together they came up with strategies to cope with issues and made a commitment to each other to work through it all as a team, shoring up what was lacking in each other and striving to improve things together.

The five hours flew by and in no time they were pulling into the lot behind the garage. Tomorrow was plenty soon enough to turn in the rental car.

Paige shut off the ignition and turned to face Walter. "You still have honey in your hair." As if that settled something, she got out of the car and walked around to open the door for Walter.

"I, uh, did the best I could at the bunker, but..." He held up his hands as a way to elaborate.

Nodding, she continued, "And you can't wash your hair now because of your hands, right. The paramedic said to keep the dressing dry."

He smiled ruefully in answer.

"Then I'm staying. I can help."

Walter's eyes went a little wide, but he certainly wasn't going to argue. Both of them began to unload the car, Paige hanging things over his outstretched arms so he could carry them in.

After dumping the bags on the sofa, the two of them walked toward the kitchen.

"Do you want something to eat first or do you want me to start by washing your hair?"

Staring at her a little warily, he stammered, "I, uh, my-my hair, I guess."

"Be right back," Paige said and left him standing awkwardly in the kitchen while she went to fetch shampoo and a towel.

Seemingly all business, she set her things down by the sink. Looking at him approvingly, she began to slowly unbutton his shirt. "We wouldn't want to get this wet." Despite Paige's outer calm, her husky tone and trembling fingers gave her away.

Walter's heart was hammering and he was tongue-tied. A few of his hottest fantasies started off just like this.

When all the buttons were unfastened, she smoothed the shirt down his arms baring his chest. She draped the garment on the back of a chair.

Unable to resist, Paige reached out and caressed his warm skin. He released an involuntary groan and his eyes drifted shut. His wrapped hands came to rest at her waist and he tugged her to him.

The kiss started slowly and sensually, their lips meeting and parting and teasing with feather lightness. But it escalated quickly into a frantic, sexy, mutual mauling, tongues wrestling and sliding in and out, mimicking the act they'd both been craving for far too long.

As Walter sucked on a particularly sensitive spot on her neck, Paige gasped his name, her nails scoring his back. A growl rumbled deep in his throat and he almost whined with exasperation, "I just wish I could touch you."

"Wait. I have an idea," she rasped breathlessly.

Pulling back slightly, his eyes half hooded, his gaze devoured her. Oh, my.

"Let's get those honey packets Toby hoards from Kovelsky's. You tell me where you'd like to touch me. I'll dab some on, and you can use your mouth instead."

A smart man would agree to a brilliant offer like that, but a genius would spend all night improving on her idea.