Look what I brought! A REALLY long chapter!

Chapter 12

For two full days she refused to talk to Robert. Despite the many voicemails he left on her phone, she wasn't appeased.

The two of them couldn't continue – relentlessly arguing about her boss and never reaching some sort of stable agreement about it. He seemed bent on making sure she and Tony were nothing more than employee and employer, refusing to understand that his hope was impossibility. Did he not care about anything she said? That the two of them had perhaps the most eccentric and strangest relationship on the face of this Earth, but nevertheless it worked?

Or maybe she was the one who was being selfish. Pepper tried to place herself in Robert's shoes…she supposed, if he spent a significant amount of time at work…

She sighed, hating herself. Granted, if the roles had switched she would have been a little skeptical about his boss just as he had been initially. But surely she would learn to trust him. Sure, a childish jealousy might perk up every now and then, but she'd learn to understand with him – because she loved him enough to understand.

So what exactly was the problem here?

Pepper rolled her eyes as she stabbed her fork into the ice cream container, too frustrated to bother getting a spoon. It didn't matter – she sure as hell wasn't going to come groveling after him. She was better than that. If Robert didn't come back because he was too busy pouting, then she wouldn't even have to make the decision – he would have made it all by himself.

It was three in the morning when her phone rang. Pepper groaned lazily, reaching towards the nightstand, eyes still closed. When her hand gripped her phone she sat up, leaving the lights off, and grumbled, "Hello?"

"Pepper?" he sounded anxious, as if already wishing he hadn't called.

"Tony?" she grumbled again, still groggy. "What is it?"

"Hi…uh…I'm sorry, I know it's late…"

As soon as she heard him say that, sleep instantly left her. Now she knew it was important. If he were calling to ask about something miniscule or unimportant, he would have just asked. He was only this considerate when there really was a problem.

"What is it?" she repeated.

"Um…I…I messed up. I need help and I can't do it myself."

"What happened?" she asked again, her heart pounding within the confines of her chest."

"I…had an accident," he said, phrasing his words carefully. "It's…pretty bad…"

There was no way he'd actually answer her question in a straightforward manner. For some reason, in his psychotic twisted mind, he was certain she would worry less if he left these foreboding and ominous hints as opposed to explaining what had actually happened. "I'll be right there. Don't move, okay?"

Tony actually laughed. "I'll try not to."

She hung up and dove out of bed and within minutes, was in her car on the way to Tony's, imagining the many different scenarios that might explain his phone call. What could he have possibly done? Blow up the garage? He didn't sound in pain – just anxious.

And that only made her rush faster.

10 minutes later

She didn't bother calling for him – he never answered anyway. So instead she made her way downstairs towards the one place he could ever be at three in the morning.

"What happened?" she asked nervously as she closed the shop door behind her. She found him sitting in his chair, facing the door and from where she was, she couldn't tell what was wrong. He was hunched over and his hands were tightly clasped together.

"Tony, what-"

As soon as she went around the corner of the desk, she finally saw what the problem was. He was clutching his wrist tightly and despite the lack of light in the room, she could make out the sticky red slipping past his fingers and staining his nails.

"Oh my God-"

"Don't panic," Tony begged, heaving a little. "It was an accident-"

"Why the hell did you call me? JARVIS call a hospital right now-"

"No!" Tony interjected quickly.

"Tony, this is serious-"

"I know it's serious," he said unconvincingly. "I need help."

No shit, Sherlock. "A hospital can-"

"I don't like doctors," he whined, pouting.

Pepper stared at his pleading brown eyes, then back at the cut he was hiding on his wrist. "What happened?" she demanded.

"I…I was working on the suit-" he nodded to the side, indicating where he had been. "I…I don't know what happened, I just…I don't know, I just zoned out for a minute and I slipped and my hand got stuck-"

"Okay, never mind, it's fine…" Pepper said, shutting him up. She took his left hand carefully. "Just…let me see how bad it is…"

Tony winced as he peeled his hand away from his right wrist, and as he did, she realized the problem was much worse than she had initially anticipated. It wasn't just his right wrist – the back of his hands as well as his right palm were cut up and bleeding as well, as if he'd stuck his hand into a sink garbage disposal.

"Oh God…"

"It's fine, not as bad as it looks…"

"Would you shut up?" Pepper shrieked, trying to slow down her breathing. She was panicking, and that was the last thing she needed to do. Calm down, Pepper, she told herself. She exhaled slowly. "JARVIS, switch the lights on."

She almost panicked again when the light further illuminated what she was dealing with and she closed her eyes for a moment to keep herself from screaming.

"Pepper…"

She opened her eyes. "I'm fine…it's fine. Tony, you need to go to a hospital."

"I need help."

"I know you do, that's why-"

"Can you do it?"

Pepper looked up at him, shocked, and for the first time, she saw his bloodshot eyes. He was in pain…serious pain. And despite it all, he was unwilling to go to a professional.

"Tony, I can't-"

"Please?"

"This needs stitches, Tony!" she yelled, growing exasperated and feeling helpless.

"I know," Tony told her. "You can do stitches, right?"

"What?" she shrieked again. "Of course I can't! I've never-"

"Have you ever done drapes? Or curtains?"

"Yes, but-"

Tony seemed pleased and nodded energetically. "Yeah, it's just like that."

"No, it's not! This isn't the Dark Ages!" Panic was starting to take over her again. Why was he so difficult? Did he honestly expect him to stitch him up here in the shop? And the blood gushing from his hands was helping matters either. "I can't and…what if, you might have cut into an artery or a vein – I don't know…"

He had expected this response. "No, I didn't – I asked JARVIS, he said it's possible to stitch it up here in the shop as long as I sterilize everything appropriately."

I do not approve of completing this procedure in the confines of your home, JARVIS quickly added, as if fearing Pepper's wrath. It would be wiser to do so in a hospital setting.

"No one asked you," Tony complained.

"So go to-"

"JARVIS said you can do it-"

"I don't care what JARVIS says!"

"I need you to do it," he pleaded again, holding onto his hand. "I don't want to go, don't make me go…"

She was used to his aversion for hospitals, but this was different. This just wasn't hatred for the place. This was fear.

He hadn't been like this when he had been taken to the hospital a few weeks ago after overdosing. But then again, he'd been unconscious; Tony didn't really have a say in the matter. Yet, just by looking at him now, she could tell that it was fear that was taking hold, and not a simple aversion.

She'd have to do it. "Okay, I'll do it Tony, alright? Don't worry, I'll do it…"

Tony visibly relaxed and Pepper tried to smile, albeit apprehensively.

"Thank you."

"It's fine…" she said. "Just hold on to that…tight, don't let go." She left him for a moment to look for the first aid kit as well as the sewing kit.

"I…uh," Tony hesitated from where he was. "I'd ask Dummy to do it…but his stitching techniques are rather…eccentric."

She laughed, attempting to calm herself down in the process. She returned with the sewing kit, a match box, and a bottle of Tylenol. Tony managed to muster enough strength to laugh at the last one. But he accepted the three capsules Pepper handed him.

Pepper wiped down the black thread she intended to use with a wipe in the kit, hoping that qualified as "sterilized" and drew the needle through an open flame for a few seconds.

"Have you done this before?" Tony asked suddenly.

She shook her head, biting her bottom lip until she was sure she drew blood. "No – I just hope my ninth grade biology teacher taught us correctly."

He nodded, gripping his wrist. "Ah."

She nodded again. Focus, Pepper. Focus… "Ok, Tony, let me see…" she said, taking his hand away from his wrist. He did so slowly and Pepper tried not to inhale too quickly. She took a damp washcloth she had brought and very carefully cleaned his hand, removing the excess blood.

"At least I'm not asking you to pull out wires from the middle of my chest again."

A smile crossed Pepper's lips. "I'd rather do that – twice."

Pepper held on to the needle with one hand and took Tony's arm with her other. There were many cuts other than the one on his wrist and she wasn't even sure if they all needed stitches.

"I don't know, Tony…" she tried to explain. "I don't want to mess up…"

"JARVIS can give you instructions if you want," Tony offered, clenching his teeth. "JARVIS, make yourself useless…or something."

And so he did, scanning Tony's wounds and assessing how many stitches he would need and exactly where and how to place them. The verdict: twelve on his left hand, and twenty-two on his right.

"Tony!" she begged one last time.

"No, you can do it, Potts," he reassured her.

Holding her breath and trying hard not to close her eyes, she pushed the needle through his skin.

He winced, trying not to worry her.

"Are you okay?" she asked instantly.

"You're doing fine, Pepper," he told her. "I'm fine, you're doing fine."

She nodded, telling herself that if she cried, the tear would probably end up in his hand, burning the hell out of it. Absolutely no tears. She pushed the needle through again.

"Ah," he exclaimed this time, wincing again.

"I'm sorry," she said, her hand now shaking.

"It's not your fault, you're fine, don't be sorry." He looked at her and noticed her shaking hand. "Do you want to stop for a minute?"

Sometimes, she just couldn't believe him. He was the one getting the stitches and yet he was offering her a timeout. "No, I got it," she told him as she continued, biting her lip every time he winced despite how hard he tried to keep it all in.

After a few minutes, she'd only gone through five of the stitches he needed. She was beginning to lose hope and by now, he was used to the pain and had deferred to biting his tongue every time the needle went through.

"So…how about the weather?" he offered, after a period of long silence, biting his tongue again as the needle went through.

"What?" she asked, not sure what to think. What weather?

Not the weather, Pepper thought to herself. Just talk. He just needed to talk, to take his mind off of what was happening.

She could give him a recap of the last meeting he had skipped – but that would probably increase the pain tenfold; not nearly a good enough distraction. Or maybe they could finally discuss the expo, information lying all over the place.

Or…

"I…" she muttered, not sure where to begin. "What happened when…you cut your hand? What were you doing?"

That definitely caught him by surprise. And she used the moment to quickly pierce his skin again with the needle. "I told you I was working on the suit-"

"No, not that – I believe you. I just meant…you know, what really happened. I mean, that is…what were you…um, thinking about?"

"I don't…remember," he mumbled quickly, now angry with himself for suggesting a conversation.

"Tony, talk to me," she begged. Holding the needle in her hand as she looked into his bloodshot eyes.

"I…" he hesitated. "I was…I was just thinking about…someone I knew. He was with me."

"Who was with you?" she asked, puncturing the skin again. She went a little deeper than she had anticipated and Tony yelped and bit his lower lip, his eyes closed.

"I'm sorry," Pepper mumbled, panicking again. Fear took hold and her hand began to shake once more. But this time, the rest of her body followed suit. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, you're fine. You're doing great, Pepper, just keep going," he told her as the pain began to subside.

But she was still in shock. "I'm sorry-"

"You're doing fine, don't worry about it. Do you want a break?"

She nodded slowly, still staring at his cut up hand. "A minute…" she mumbled again, trying to slow down her breathing, closing her eyes tightly. As soon as she was calm again, she cracked her eyes open and took his hand again, ready to continue. "Sorry," she told him as she continued, cringing each time he winced.

"You're doing great," he told her each time she started to hesitate. "You're fine."

Pepper nodded once. Then after a moment, asked again, "Um…who was with you?"

"Yinsen," he answered quickly, eyes avoiding the needle poking at him.

"Was this…in…?" she prompted.

"Afghanistan," he answered, nodding.

Pepper was caught by surprise. Up until now she had thought Tony had been alone in that cave. Had he been with someone else the entire time?

"You…you weren't alone?"

"No," he said, closing his eyes as she drew the needle through. "No, he was with me. He was there before me…he even did the whole-" He used his other hand to gesture towards his chest, implying the arc reactor.

"The…surgery?"

"Yeah, he did that."

"But…" she paused so that she could concentrate for a moment. Then continued, "But I thought you invented the chest piece…how did he-"

"He didn't invent the chest piece…that came later," he quickly explained, gasping a little.

"Should I stop?" Pepper checked, realizing she had never asked him.

Tony shook his head. "No, keep going. You're doing great. The…uh, the chest piece came later when I was awake. Yinsen, he was also an engineer. A physicist I think." He laughed a little, sadly. "We'd even met before…at a technical conference." He looked at Pepper, sadness masking his face despite his smile. "Can you believe it? We'd met."

"You remembered him?"

"Me? No," he said with a slight roll of his eyes, still smiling morosely. "Apparently I was filthy drunk. He gave a lecture on integrated circuits. He remembered me. But…ahh-ah!" he gasped again as Pepper continued stitching.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't stop," he told her. "You know, I didn't even ask his name until the day after we met again in Afghanistan." He laughed again, as the now bittersweet memories resurfaced. "He…he installed an electromagnet into my chest," he explained. "I replaced it later but initially it was an electromagnet. And it was connected to a car battery."

Pepper was silent, trying to understand how someone could possibly make a car battery fit into man's chest.

"How did it fit?" she asked curiously.

"What do you – oh!" Tony exclaimed, suddenly understanding. "Ah! It…was connected to a car battery. So the magnet was in my chest and…there were two wires…connecting it to a battery that I'd carry with me…"

The picture slowly formed slowly in Pepper's mind and as soon as it did, she wanted to cry. She could see him in her head, holding a car battery, hugging it closely as he was thrown about. Literally holding his heart in his hands.

Tony's heavy breathing and contorted facial expression brought her back to the present. "Should I stop?" she asked again. This time, he nodded, saying nothing, and left his hand held out stiffly.

"Do you have any of those painkillers left?" she asked.

He shook his head.

She nodded in response, waiting until he was ready to keep going. "Tony, if I take you to a hospital, it'll be easier…"

"No."

She waited for him patiently as he quietly gasped. It pained her to see him like this and she was desperate to ease his suffering. "Tony, please, let me take you."

He shook his head. "I hate hospitals."

"I know but-"

"I was awake, you know," he said. "When he put in the magnet, during the surgery."

Pepper's eyes widened immediately.

"It wasn't his fault. He gave me an anesthetic but it wasn't enough – probably because they didn't give him enough. So I could feel it. I wasn't knocked out properly until the end." Then after a quiet pause, he reiterated. "I don't like hospitals."

She nodded, finally understanding. "Okay," she told him. "I won't ask again, it's fine…"

He was silent as he slowly gave her his arm to continue.

"I'm sorry that had to happen," she said quietly, as the needle went through once more.

"I'm not."

She glanced up at him. "Why?"

"Because it made me do something useful."

"Running a multibillion dollar company is pretty important, Tony."

"You ran it." Pepper stopped, eyes fixed on him. "Very well, actually," he added.

She said nothing and carried on. "So…the other man…Yinsen. Where is he now? Where was he from?"

"Gulmira."

This time, Pepper forced herself to keep stitching despite her surprise. Gulmira – the small town was all over the news, thanks to Iron Man's antics there some months back. It had been where he had made his "debut", if that was even the proper word. "He didn't…make it, did he?" Pepper realized aloud.

Tony shook his head. "He went to buy me more time – and it worked. He saved my life, but he just…maybe if I'd-"

"I don't want to hear it," she interrupted quickly. "You did what you could, Tony. You coming back wasn't a mistake." She looked at him seriously. "Do you understand that?" He hesitated before nodding and Pepper continued silently. "There's a reason you're here, Tony. If you dare think otherwise, I'll quit. I promise you that."

He nodded again, his eyes downcast. It had been something that had bothered him. In the end, it had all been Yinsen's decision, but that still didn't make him stop wondering, "What if".

"He told me not to waste my life," Tony said.

"You're not."

"I was before."

"Tony, just because you hate board meetings and the business aspect of the company, that doesn't mean you're a failure. The company wouldn't be where it is today were it not for-"

"You know that's not what I'm talking about."

Actually, she didn't. But nevertheless, she continued. "I'm proud of you, Tony. For everything you've done in just a few months. More proud of you than I ever have been."

His heart immediately swelled: approval – from none other than his assistant. I'm doing something right. "Even though you almost quit on me?" he asked, unable to suppress a small, honest smile.

And she smiled back. "Yes, even then, Mr. Stark."

They were silent then. The only sounds in the room were the running computers and Tony's occasional suppressed exclamation when the needle went through a particularly sensitive spot. Pepper tried to piece together everything he'd told her and what she'd learned from the past – the terrorists, the water torture, his companion in Afghanistan, Yinsen…

"The car battery," she said suddenly with a sigh, just as she completed the last stitch on his right hand.

"What car battery?" Tony asked, by now relatively indifferent to the pain.

"The one you said was attached to the magnet," she explained. "It scares me…I-I don't know why but it does."But she did know why it scared her the most – it was the display of vulnerability, imagining her boss in that state and realizing that it had been a truth.

Once she was finished with his right hand, he handed her his left and she cleaned it off again before repeating the procedure. Tony visibly winced this time and Pepper glanced up at him, and then back down.

"You know…" she said, quietly – carefully even. "When they first called me and said you were missing…I laughed."

Tony looked up at her, waiting for her to carry on; his brown eyes were warm.

"I laughed," she repeated. "I thought they were being stupid. I said they should call me back in the morning and even said that when they find you, they should let you know that I would disconnect JARVIS for a month for playing such a terrible prank on everyone."

He hummed slightly. "I don't think that punishment's fair."

"I thought it was. I went on with the rest of my day, planning everything for you to arrive that afternoon. Happy and I drove to the hangar to pick you up…he hadn't heard yet." She inhaled slowly, holding her breath for a short moment. "And then…Rhodey came out of the plane…and I couldn't find you…"

It was no use – her eyes were blurring and she leaned back so the stray tears wouldn't fall into his open wounds.

"Pepper, you don't have to-"

Now it was her turn to repeat the familiar phrase. "I'm fine," she told him. She waited for about half a minute until she'd composed herself. "Rhodey said it was shock. That when they'd told me on the phone I didn't believe them because of the shock. And I know it sounds silly now, but when I remember getting that phone call…" she shrugged to herself. "It just didn't make sense for you to be me missing. The concept was just…"

Tony remained silent. He'd never thought about what anyone else was going through. Sure, he knew there had probably been a search party running…for about three weeks at best. But he'd never considered the fact that he would have been missed.

"I came by everyday," she said. "To make sure everything was where it was supposed to be – as if everything would move around if I didn't show up. Rhodey went looking for a month – then they cut off his funding and essentially put him on some sort of military house arrest." She stopped, frowning to herself. "You…you won't laugh, will you? If I tell you something."

Tony shook his head. "What?"

She continued stitching. "I slept in the shop for the first week."

But Tony didn't laugh. Instead, her statement jogged his memory. "I heard you once."

"What?"

"When they were pushing my head under the water." Tony didn't quite understand why he felt obligated to tell her all this, especially now. He couldn't explain it, but it just felt right to tell the full truth. Finally. "I heard you…I think. It doesn't make any sense-"

"What did I say?"

"My name. You just said my name."

Pepper smiled sadly, finishing up his left hand. As soon as she was done, she dropped everything, signaling her completion. While Tony examined her handiwork, Pepper left to wash her hands and replace everything she had gathered. When she returned, she sat back down in front of him.

And they talked.

Long into the night, they talked; about the kidnapping that had changed their lives and how life had been on either side of the coin. Tony told her about the cave, how it had been set up, the number of steps and turns it took to get out of the room Yinsen and Tony had been trapped in for months. About how many servings of beans and lentils he had eaten until he was sure the stuff was coming out of his nostrils. Pepper told him about the cancelled rescue mission, that they couldn't legally declare Tony dead – not for another six months which made his disappearance seem more like an unofficial stalemate, that she talked to JARVIS every day to ensure he wouldn't lose his sarcastic touch when Tony returned.

There were moments in their story during which they laughed – like when Tony mentioned the beans and lentils and Pepper confessed that JARVIS was actually pretty good company. And there were moments during the retelling where Pepper looked as if she was considering murder and Tony was honestly on the brink of tears. Like when Tony finally explained why he'd awoken from his nightmare with his hands behind his head – that the gesture was a sign of submission. And when Pepper had admitted she had slept at Tony's place for a week. But they kept going until the sun just began to peek over the horizon and dawn was underway.

"It's late," Tony pointed out.

He meant early. Pepper only nodded. "Yeah, it is."

"Aren't you tired?"

She nodded again. "A little."

"You should go home."

Another nod. "Yeah."

But it took her a full minute to muster the willpower to stand up from the couch, where their conversation had migrated sometime during the night. Without a single word, she took her purse and keys from the table they had left earlier that night. But before she went out the door, she returned to him and faced him. "I'm not leaving," she said suddenly.

"It's late…"

"No, I mean it. I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving you. Do you understand that?"

Tony nodded slowly, initially not understanding what she was talking about. But in time, her words and their meaning became clearer.

"You're all I have, remember?"

She didn't wait for him to reply that time. She turned and walked out the door, ready to spend the rest of the day sleeping in. But had she turned around, she would have seen Tony still nodding after her as the floodgates of relief washed over his eyes.

The next chapter should be coming soon (obviously – I've written it already, remember? XP)

I love you all, you know that? A lot. You make me smile. Xoxo

Review please. Promise. Thanks. LOVE.