A/N - thanks for all your thoughts in your reviews. I love reading them and appreciate all the different views. For the person who asked for the sequel to The Coldplay Anthology, I still want to write it but will finish this and see how it goes. And for those who think that these two are too dependent on each other and need to be whole themselves, I hope this chapter is the start of that. Enjoy.

Meant To Be

"Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other."
― Dalai Lama XIV

Jess looks at her watch, the minute hand just moving to three minutes after five. She had steeled herself to expect this outcome, she really had. Telling herself that she deserved better and that no matter what, she was going home and back to her job and her life.

Quinn had been a beautiful distraction, someone whom she had fallen so hard for and the heartbreak now had been worth the laughter and love they had shared, no matter how short a time it had been.

"Jess." Quinn's voice is ragged as she stands there, bag in hand, head bowed as she tries to fight back the tears that have been threatening to fall since the incident at the hospital. And they do as soon as Jess's arms go around her, all the hurt and pain pouring out as she falls to her knees, not caring that people are watching and wondering. Quinn tries not to make a sound though, swallowing her cries even as the tears continue to flow.

The announcement for their flight comes too soon and Jess wonders if they should just take the later one as she tightens her hold on Quinn before whispering in her ear, "We can take the next flight, whatever you need, I'm here." It's then that she finally gets a good look at Quinn and realizes that even if she was there for the blonde, Quinn was someplace else.

"What happened?" She's almost sure she doesn't want to know but they had been friends before they became more and that friendship was still the bedrock of their relationship or at least what was left of it. Jess always knew she didn't have all of Quinn and knowing she wouldn't have her going forward hurt but at least now she knew.

"We should catch the flight." Quinn's voice is thick with tears and so weary as she stands up, wondering if she could really leave but knowing she didn't have a choice, not if she believed in that one last chance. "I'll tell you all of it but on the flight, ok?" She can't bear to be in LA one second longer. Needing to get out of this town where she had lost so much and really couldn't afford to lose anymore.

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Jess watches her down her second drink before she gently places her hand on Quinn's arm, a form of comfort as much as a sign to stop.

"What happened? Is Rachel ok?" Jess does not reach out again, instead she clasps her hands in front of her and waits for Quinn to answer. She waits for a long while, just looking at Quinn's profile as she tilts her head back on the seat, her eyes closed but her entire body so tense.

"Quinn?" Her voice goes soft as she finally reaches out only to have Quinn pull back her hand. The sigh she let's out is audible and shows her frustration the only way she knows how. But at least she gets a reaction at last as Quinn turns to look at her, the expression on her face so visceral that Jess can feel her pain.

"She let me go." The words so softly spoken as if she can't believe them, the expression on her face morphing to uncertainty. "Rachel loves me and she let me go." It's as if she needs to repeat them, maybe a few hundred times before they sink in. Quinn squeezes her eyes shut, a tear leaking out from the side that she quickly swipes away.

"And..." Jess takes a deep breath, knowing she may not like or want the answer to her next question but she just wasn't the type to settle. "And you didn't want her to let you go...did you?

There's no guilt on Quinn's face, just shell shocked acceptance as she shakes her head.

"So why are you here, Quinn? I know it's not for me." And her words finally bring realization to Quinn as she realizes that she's hurting Jess with her current actions and she needed to try and fix it.

Her hand reaching out to hold onto Jess, wanting to reinforce her words with that touch. "I never meant to hurt you or to make you think that you're not worth it because you are. You're amazing and kind and you pushed me when I needed it. I love you for that."

"But you're still in love with Rachel." It's not a question but more of a capitulation on her part because she meant what she had told Rachel in the hospital, she didn't fight unless she knew she would win and she had to admit that this was a battle she was destined to lose because even if Rachel had let Quinn go, she could see that Quinn just couldn't do the same.

"You know what...?" Jess tempers her words with a small smile, knowing that she needed to get this out for Quinn as much as it was necessary for her. "You don't deserve me. I have a medical degree, I can cook like a Michelin star chef and am absolutely awesome in bed." The look on Quinn's face is almost worth the deep hurt she feels in her heart.

But she still feels like she's lost something or at the very least missed out on something special. However, it really wasn't in her power to push and even before they were lovers, she had been Quinn's friend which meant that she still needed to know why Quinn was still so gutted.

"Why are you here? What made Rachel let you go?" Her voice goes soft as she does not let go of Quinn's hand. She wonders if Quinn will actually say anything more and is kind of surprised when she does. Her words tentative at first but gaining momentum as she tells Jess all of it, her words stilted in places as she described all that occurred at the hospital until she got sedated and woke up alone.

Earlier In The Day

Rachel picks up on the change in Quinn almost instantaneously as she also reacts at about the same time, almost launching herself out of the bed. There was no way she was going to let Quinn save her, not when she needed to prove that she could save the both of them.

Her arms go around Quinn even as her body twist around, in effect shielding Quinn as best she can. The sound of the shot is so loud that she flinches as does Quinn but Rachel does not let go. She feels Quinn struggle and knows that the bullet didn't hit her and prays that it hadn't hit Quinn either.

"Are you ok?" She chokes out the words, hoping to hear a response but all she hears are shouts from outside and another shot fired followed by noises of a struggle that just makes her hold on that much more tightly to a struggling Quinn. "Please Quinn."

"I'm...ok...I'm fine. Rachel..you have to let me go. I need to... " Quinn finally breaks out of her grasp and immediately turns, her hands touching Rachel as if trying to ascertain if she was hurt, ignoring the continued disturbance at the entrance of the room, her focus solely on Rachel. "Are you ok?" She emphasizes the words, her hand going up to touch Rachel's cheek as tears just spill out but at least she feels Rachel's arms around her again.

Quinn knows that she's truly reached her limit as all her emotions break loose and she can't seem to control anything, not the shivering or the tears or the need to just hold on to Rachel and not let go. She's worked so hard to always hold everything in even at the worse of times, only ever allowing just the smaller things to surface.

She had been erratic in high school and Rachel really had been the only one who could reach her and when the finally got together, Rachel had also been the only one she felt comfortable in showing the spectrum of her emotions. So when Rachel left, she just locked all of it away.

Mika had helped but talking about it and showing it were just two different things. And right now, the only thing Quinn knows is Rachel's the only thing holding her together and she doesn't want to let Rachel go. In fact she doesn't ever want to let her go again.

"Check up on them and get that son of a bitch off the floor and out of my sight." Detective Collins grits the words out, his hands now shaking from the surge of adrenaline that he has trouble holstering his gun. He actually has to close his eyes and take a number of deep breaths before he finally puts his gun away. The doctor and nurse heed his words and immediately attend to Rachel and Quinn while the two police officers pick up Marek Tosovic off the floor.

He turns to see Rachel Berry ignoring the nurse trying to tend her as she holds on to Quinn, the other woman's sobs getting louder by the second as pain and grief seem to flow out. He's pretty sure she hadn't been shot. His being the only gun fired, first with a warning shot and then to take Tosovic down.

He didn't expect the perp to be that stupid and try and get to Rachel in the hospital. It showed desperation and considering Rachel hadn't seen anything, it seemed odd. But luckily he had been here. "Ms Berry, I am sorry to do this."

It deja vu for the both of them as he sees that she recognizes his words, her eyes narrowing before she glances down at the woman that she's holding. "Could you give her something?" Her voice is soft as she addresses the doctor who glances at him so he nods as well. Perhaps the biggest difference from then and now was Rachel seemed less afraid.

He tries not to look at them, their embrace not intimate but he feels like he's intruding. He waits until the shot is about to be administered before he looks up again. This time he sees Quinn Fabray trying to struggle as she tries to protest.

He can't hear what Rachel is whispering in her ear but it works wonders as Rachel leans back in the bed and pulls Quinn with her before the doctor finally manages to administer the sedative.

Again, he tries not to look as Rachel strokes Quinn's hair, softly singing until the blonde finally drifts off. Only then does she speak to him, her voice rough with tears maybe or just from the ordeal she's endured. "Is it over?"

He wants to nod his head and tell her yes, explain that the bad guy was in custody and she could go back to her life or maybe go back to rebuilding it considering she was still an addict. However, his instincts have always been dead on and right now they're telling him that it was far from over.

Coming after Rachel made no sense unless they thought she knew something. The entire story didn't fit together in his head."Why did you go to Jesse's that night and why were you so drugged up?" Grant knows there has to be more to the story that he's been told and he just hopes that Rachel trusts him enough to let him help.

You shot him... Before he could harm Quinn..thank you." She reaches out to touch his hand before retreating again and he's almost sure he's not going to get more out of her until she stares at the blood smeared floor.

The image of Jesse sprawled against the wall, his blood slowly flowing on the floor hits her and she remembers why she had gone over that night.

"I need to end it..I do. You can't expect me to keep doing this because of your shit. I'm done." She almost misses the stop sign and jams on her brakes, her hands tightening on the steering wheel as she glances at her purse knowing she could pop a pill to calm herself down.

"She'll kick me off the show and I need the money. Damn it Rach, do you have to be so selfish. I'm on the brink of finally making it big." He sounds desperate and she feels guilty for doing this knowing he has helped her in so many ways. The pills he gets for her, allowing her to get through the hectic days and she knows that the ones Schuyler gives her are doctored so she does need Jesse still.

"Just don't do it tonight. Come over to my place and I'll get that Pinot Noir that you like and I have your prescription as well. Just don't let that bitch take it off you." He starts out cajoling but sounds agitated at the end and it makes Rachel worried.

"Jesse, what's wrong? If you need money, I can help..." She's loaned him money before, not really large sums but he's also never really paid any of it back but she doesn't care.

"Jesus...Rach..if it was just about the money I wouldn't be this crazy. These guys, they're serious. I mean, it's not only the money...they own my ass ever since I took that first shipment and now they need me and they're never going to let me go." His tone now edged with desperation but Rachel just doesn't understand what he's getting at.

What shipment? Jesse...are you in trouble. Do you need anything...How can I help?" She's offering because she can hear his desperation and though it scares her, she won't ignore it like she had some things in her life. It was too late to make up for past mistakes but she wasn't going to repeat mistakes either.

Rachel hears his nervous laughter over the phone that in no way sounds joyful and she feels compelled to help. "What do you need?" The plea in her voice is strong but she still has to wait for sometime before she hears his quiet response.

"Tomas and Marek. Can you remember the names?" he says them like they're important and she nods even though she knows he can't see her.

"Yes but who are they?" She knows he's been dealing on the side but always assumed it was a part time thing driven by boredom. Everything he's said so far though indicates that it's more complicated than that and possibly more dangerous. "Are you in danger?"

"I..no..I mean as long as no one.." He stresses the word,"As long as they get what they want, it's fine. Just come over. I think I'm getting paranoid being by myself and I promise I'll tell you more."

The memory recall is so clear that she knows its just due to not being under the influence of any substance and just having the time to remember the past, both the good memories along with the bad ones. She looks at Detective Collins as he scribbles down her words, finally meeting her gaze.

"He's going to come for me, isn't he..this Tomas Tosovic" she doesn't frame it as a question but more of a statement of fact as she looks over at Quinn sleeping next to her, her hand already reaching out to touch her. "He thinks I know something and whether I do or not is irrelevant because he killed Jesse and he'll want to kill me and.." She chokes on her next words, "And he's the type that will hurt anyone to get what he wants." Maybe she echoing words that Jesse had used but her mind is still so scrambled when it comes to what actually happened and she's not sure she'll ever fully remember.

And it becomes all so real when Detective Collins just nods at her words, confirming her worst fears. However, that deep rooted fear also brings with it such clarity about her priorities as she fully realizes her predicament but also understands exactly what she need to do.

Before she says anything though, she turns to Quinn, whispers in her ear and kisses her. Rachel does not care that Quinn's sleeping and won't ever remember her words or that chaste kiss but its more of a promise to herself that she knows she will keep at all costs as long as she was alive.

Grant averts his eyes knowing that its a private moment and wishing that he could give them some privacy but he also needs to protect them and he can see that Rachel wants the same thing. So he looks away and waits for her to tell him what she wants to do. He can see a different woman than the scared, drugged out celebrity he had first met in this very hospital. She looked the same, beautiful, somewhat damaged but still wide eyed but somehow she seemed more present and more alive like she has a strong purpose.

It wasn't difficult to see that her purpose was wrapped in the package that was Quinn Fabray. And his instincts are proven correct when she addresses him again, her hand still holding onto Quinn's.

"You need to give her a message from me. I'll write it but you need to give it to her only after she leaves and when she's safely back in New York. I... I would like to believe that she loves me enough to want to stay with me." Rachel looks at Quinn when she says the words knowing in her heart that she has to love Quinn more than she needs her. And only then will they be ready to be together again for good.

"But I need help to stop being dependent on drugs or on her and I need to help you find the man who killed Jesse. And I can't do either if Quinn is here." Rachel knows there's a strong possibility that she could relapse or actually get killed but as long as Quinn was shielded from it, she knows that the small probability of them finally being together we just going to improve.

"Can you help me?" It's so difficult to ask for help but she knows she can't do it by herself and though its difficult, it does feel ok to admit that she truly needs the help. And she knows it won't be the last but at least she really wants to change not so that Quinn would be happy but for her own edification and the knowledge that eventually it will pay off and she would be ready for Quinn.

He can see that she's actually asking for more than just protection and he knows that he also wants to offer more help than that. "An ex college friend runs a retreat in Colorado. Quiet and discreet but more than that,it's a place to heal."

He sees that she's a bit shock that he's mentioned her addiction even before highlighting the danger she's in. But then he also knows that she's one smart lady and can see that she understands that internal demons can hurt and damage a lot more than external ones. "We're going to catch Tomas. He's not in our system but with your testimony and Marek's involvement, I'm sure we're going to put the both of them away for a very long time."

The only thing that makes him slightly uncomfortable is the fact that she won't resolve things with Quinn. A letter was one thing but not having any conversation beforehand seemed harsh. "The sedative will wear off and..." He sees tears form almost instantaneously and knows that she's hurting.

"I want nothing more than to talk to her and explain but I know that if she says even one word about staying, I'm not sure that right now, I'm strong enough to push back and say no.I need her so much but I know I can love her more.I need to get to that point."

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Santana doesn't know what to feel although she can see that Brittany kind of does as her wife reaches out to hug Rachel so tightly that she's sure that the brunette is bordering on suffocation.

Listening to a stone cold sober Rachel explain her past actions and articulate every single one of her regrets while at the same time lay out her plan to change all of it and work hard to do so, all because she loved Quinn was incredibly heartening.

Although expecting her to promise not to tell Quinn any of it was perplexing and just plain idiotic which was why she does not know really how to react. "You're going to turn your life around and it's fucking hard but you're committed to doing that so why the hell won't you want Quinn to know?" She's not angry at Rachel but just the circumstance.

Rachel knows she needs to remember who she was and get to being that person again before ever expecting Quinn to accept her back. And in the meantime, it was unfair for her to ask Quinn to wait until that occurred. She truly wants to change and be that better Rachel but it was not guaranteed despite her tenacity and determination, she knows it won't be easy and relapsing or Tosovic finding her all could occur before she got back to Quinn.

So she wants to really let Quinn go and see if she could find happiness. Maybe it would be with Jess or maybe someone else but she needed to just let Quinn go first.

"Because I love her enough to want her to know whom and what she truly wants without feeling beholden or being too caught up in the past. And I have faith in us that we really belong together. I just need you to promise me that you'll look out for her and if she...if she wants to find me just let her know that I will hopefully find her and in the meantime...I just want her to be happy."

Santana's torn between wanting to hug Rachel and wanting to slap her but in the end she takes her cue from Brittany and pulls Rachel into another bear hug, "You take care of yourself and come back because whatever I say...I think she'll only ever be happy with you."

End Part 12