Chapter Twelve: Revelations and Confusion
Finding Perry's nemesis' apartment complex had been relatively easy for Pinky. Peter knew the route like the back of his hand, citing that he always expected the relationship between Agent Perry and Doofenshmirtz to take a turn for the worst one day. Pinky had no room to defend his fellow agent, as he was basically taking Agent Perry's job into his own hands. Of course, Agent Perry would, without a doubt, understand his reasons for doing so.
The two arrived at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated in record time, scaling the side of the building with Peter the Panda's grappling hook. Instead of using the open balcony area, Peter had them climb through one of the tenant's windows that was close to the top floor, taking extra precaution in case the element of surprise would be what saved them in the far run. An old woman owned the apartment that they had entered, but she paid them little heed; she just smiled and mentioned that she had made her famous cookies. Peter and Pinky exchanged a look before they bolted out of the apartment, unsure of the old woman's mentality.
Normal people reacted more when a Chihuahua and a panda wearing matching fedoras broke into their apartment. Either this lady was senile or way too accustomed to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's antics.
Peter led the two of them down the hallway, passing the elevator in favor of the staircase. Despite having never been inside Dr. Doofenshmirtz's home, something tugged at Pinky's small chest, urging him forward. He followed his innate sense up the stairs, leaving Peter to try to keep up with the tiny dog's sudden fast pace. Pinky barreled through the door that led out of the staircase, knocking the door over instead of waiting for Peter to simply reach on his tiptoes to pull the handle down.
There was a lone door in the hallway, meaning that there was only one possible person that could live on this floor. Pinky bared his sharp, pointy teeth, prepared to knock down yet another door and lunge at the evil scientist, regardless of whether Agent Perry had the situation under control or not. His Isabella was not going to be put in any sort of danger—not while he was breathing!
Before Pinky could accomplish what he set out to do, a large, fuzzy, and warm body tackled him to the floor. It took him a second to realize that the black and white body on top of him belonged to Peter the Panda, but when he did, he immediately growled at the foreign-exchange agent from Seattle, warning the monochromatic bear to get off of him or face his inborn nature.
As if pouring salt on the wound, Peter dug a clawed paw into Pinky's back, causing the Chihuahua to yelp. The sharp pinch was enough to jolt him back to reality, and Pinky relaxed his body. That seemed to satisfy Peter, as the panda agent calmly crawled off of him, walking over to a side of the door. Yes, it would have been stupid to charge in there with no regards to stealth. They hadn't scaled a building and avoided making a commotion because it was fun.
Pinky took to the other side of the door, flattening his ear against the small crack that outlined his side of the door. He could hear plenty of voices inside the apartment, starting with the Indian-accented boy that Isabella hung out with sometimes, though he couldn't quite make out what they were talking about.
"Baljeet, can you look over our blueprint?"
The speaker's voice rang through Pinky's ear, echoing in his mind and putting his nerves at ease. The coast may have been filled with the neighborhood children, but none of them seemed to be in imminent danger. Pinky and Peter had already come this far, and they weren't going against Admiral Acronym's orders just to observe a bunch of children.
Peter stepped forward and reached up on his tiptoes, grabbing the doorknob and twisting it. It was unlocked, which Pinky figured was Dr. Doofenshmirtz's way of giving up on replacing his door every time Agent Perry burst in. He might as well save his nemesis and himself the trouble by keeping the door unlocked.
No one inside the apartment noticed that the door had been opened, as they were all much too busy gathered around an area with a pile of scrap material beside them. Pinky's eyes darted to the long, black-haired girl dressed in pink who had nothing short of a determined look in her blue eyes.
Relief spread throughout the shaky Chihuahua's body, and his tail wagged at such a high speed to portray this. Before Peter could stop him, Pinky darted out towards his owner, and his nails tapping against the tiled floor echoed in the vast, partially destroyed lab. Agent Perry's Candace and her potential mate, Jeremy, were the first to turn towards the sound, but Pinky paid them no heed as he bounded right over to his Isabella.
"Pinky?" Isabella voiced with surprise. "What are you doing here? And why are you wearing that...hat..." Her voice trailed off, as though she had just realized something, but then more confusion returned to her expression. "And is that a panda?"
Instead of addressing the situation as a seasoned agent such as Pinky would, the tiny dog simply jumped into his owner's arms, nuzzling his snout against her cheek. Isabella, though uncertain of what was going on, smiled and held her beloved pet close, and Pinky finally felt his nerves relax completely.
"Um, Pinky's a secret agent too?" Candace had to ask.
"And who's the panda?" Buford added, sounding as though they had all missed something crucial.
Doofenshmirtz's daughter tried to provide an answer for the confused kids. "I guess they're part of O.W.C.A. Dad says that every evil villain has an animal agent as their nemesis."
Isabella gently placed Pinky down on the floor, putting her hands on her knees as she bent down to face him. Pinky and Peter shared a quick look, realizing that Agent Perry had revealed not only his cover as a secret agent, but the entire agency. Peter shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly at his comrade, and Pinky interpreted Peter's dismissal of the situation as a gesture that they really had nothing left to lose or hide now that their secrets were known.
Unable to communicate verbally to the group of humans, Pinky and Peter relied on the children's inquisitive nature to provide them with the answers they sought.
"So, you're both secret agents like Perry?" Isabella tossed the first question. Both Peter and Pinky nodded to confirm this. "And you're part of..." Isabella paused, looking over at Vanessa. "What was that acronym again?"
"O.W.C.A.," Vanessa repeated.
Candace frowned, furrowing her eyebrows as she murmured the letters to herself. "What does that even stand for?"
Vanessa shrugged. "I dunno. I never asked my dad."
"Oh. Wow. Cool. ...Animals?" Jeremy offered, but even he didn't believe his suggestion was true.
"It's 'Ow, California,'" Buford said, speaking as though it was the most obvious answer in the world. Baljeet smacked a hand to his forehead.
"That's not how an acronym works, Buford! The letters each stand for a word, not—OW!" Baljeet yelped, holding his arm where Buford had nudged him extra-hard.
"You can't spell 'ow' without 'O, W,'" Buford affirmed.
Disinterested in the kids' debate over their agency's acronym, Peter wandered over to the blueprint that the Indian boy had placed on the ground. Pinky watched the panda look over the work, though it was difficult to tell if Peter approved of whatever they had been planning or not with his usual mask of indifference. Going off of the past inventions the kids had created with Phineas and Ferb, Pinky figured that they had to have come up with something sufficient for a rescue mission. Especially since they still had Ferb, the mechanical genius behind their projects, with them—
...wait, where was Ferb?
"Never mind," Isabella huffed, stopping the debate that had spread out amongst everyone. She turned her attention back to Pinky, giving her dog a pleading look. "Are you here to help us?"
Pinky nodded for both Peter and himself, giving Isabella a straightforward salute, much unlike the hesitant one he had given his boss earlier. Isabella gave him a thankful grin, straightening up to address everyone.
"Alright! Pinky and Mr. Panda are here to help us!" Pinky barked to confirm Isabella's proclamation. "This means that we will be done with the robot even quicker than before, so no more lollygagging! Let's move it! Phineas, Ferb, and Perry are counting on us more than ever!"
Once more, Pinky exchanged a shocked look with Peter. This was no longer a rescue mission for just Phineas. Now they had Ferb and Agent Perry, one of their best, in need of saving. They had to be even more vigilant than they originally assumed.
The front door burst open once more, and Pinky and Peter immediately crouched low in case they needed to spring at the intruder. A light-haired guy with thick, black glasses fell to his knees, breathing heavily.
"Ir...Irving!" he gasped out, spotting the orange-haired boy out of the bunch. "I'm...here!"
There was a moment of silence as everyone took in the scene, allowing Pinky to rack his mind for who the intruder was. Allan? Alfred? Albus?
"Albert, are you okay?" Irving, the weird kid that sometimes stalked Pinky's owner and her friends, asked.
Albert nodded, picking himself up from the ground. "Yes, yes. I took the stairs..." he trailed off, staring at Pinky and Peter. "Why does that dog have a fedora on his head, and... Is that a panda?"
Peter looked over to Pinky, slightly exasperated with the first impression people had of them. Pinky didn't have the heart to tell him that it came with the territory when one was a panda.
Perry was not having as much luck as he hoped he would. The old woman, Professor Poofenplotz, was surprisingly fast for being, well, old, and she knew the lab better than Perry did, which caused him to slow down in order to maneuver around various machinery and overly girly decor. It didn't occur to him until after the fact that Professor Poofenplotz seemed to be leading him somewhere.
As he scampered across the tiled floor, one of the tiles seemed to give way beneath him, and he fell shortly before a metal clamp rose up and captured him in a tight, secure hold. His arms were trapped against his sides, and the hold was actually so tight that he had difficulty breathing.
"Hmph." Perry glared up at Professor Poofenplotz as she retraced her steps, leering victoriously over the platypus. "All you secret agents are the same. Couldn't even avoid a simple trap."
Perry gave her a warning growl, not in the mood to deal with the usual taunting that every villain liked to throw out. He just wanted her to get to the point of what she was planning to with him and, more importantly, Phineas and Ferb.
Professor Poofenplotz idly regarded him. "Ah, yes. I suppose you're not in the mood for such blunt commentary. Pinky never was whenever I threatened his host family either—not that I knew who they were when I inadvertently did, but after some research, I realized just exactly who they were." She smirked. "What are the odds that the Garcia-Shapiro family lives right across the street from the Flynn-Fletcher family?"
The air seemed to freeze around Perry as he realized just how much information Professor Poofenplotz had on the agency. Even Agent Pinky's family was at stake! Did he know about this? Was Isabella going to be kidnapped eventually as well?
"Anyhoo, I'm sure that German dolt explains himself before he fails to destroy you," Professor Poofenplotz continued, waving off the horrific confession. "Rodney should have captured both him and Ferb by now, so I'll grace you with a wonderful story." Making herself comfortable on a pink-cushioned chair, the old woman smiles gleefully as she began her explanation. "You see, an odd occurrence happened not too long ago when people woke up to a partially destroyed Tri-State Area, but since Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz of Danville turned the disaster into a way to employ more people, not many questioned just how the destruction came about."
Perry squirmed some more in the trap, desperately searching for a release button or switch—anything that would allow him to mistake. Unfortunately, Professor Poofenplotz seemed to be well aware of his resourcefulness, so nothing was close enough in his proximity to use.
"Yes, I must be boring you with these details since the agency, Rodney, and me already know the truth behind what happened that fateful day."
That caught Perry's attention, and he stopped squirming in order to discover if Professor Poofenplotz was really implying what he thought she was implying.
"For you see, Perry the Platypus, before that day, I had recalibrated my ray gun that transported annoyances like that minimum-waged store employee to another dimension so that it opened up portals to other dimensions." Perry's eyes widened, realizing just where she was going with this. "Imagine an entire dimension with the Tri-State Area conquered by none other than your nemesis."
Perry didn't have to imagine it. He had survived it.
"It was quite the dreadful place—admirable, but dreadfully bland." Professor Poofenplotz shook her head in disappointment. "Everything was quite tasteless and disgusting, and I was happy to find that my other-dimension self had killed herself rather than wear that atrocious uniform."
Many horrible things have been told to Perry over the years, but that admittance left him shaken. This woman was not only evil, but she was purely insane.
"And then I met him." She didn't specify the male with a name or description, and Perry knew that she was doing this on purpose. "He had already predicted the alternate Doofenshmirtz's downfall and was waiting for the right time to strike. After all, Doofenshmirtz had acted alone with just an army of robots. No one would expect after his downfall for there to be another threat, so when he asked me to assist him in conquering not only his Tri-State Area, but mine as well, I couldn't possibly refuse." Professor Poofenplotz paused, and Perry noticed her grin of delight had turned into an unsettled frown. "But then two annoying runts from The Resistance foiled those plans by placing more security measures on the Tri-State Area to prevent another takeover. As it turned out, they were the alternate versions of the two runts that had put a stop to the other-dimension Doofenshmirtz."
Phineas and Ferb, Perry thought to himself. His body trembled as Professor Poofenplotz continued, but he willed himself to hear the entire scheme through.
"Yes," Professor Poofenplotz hissed, "your owners were quite the troublemakers. It took a bit, but they were captured in the other dimension, which only left us with the ones in this dimension." At this, her cruel smile returned, angering Perry to no end, but his anger only served to encourage her. "In the other dimension, the biggest troublemaker had only been one of the two, but of course, when we captured him, the other one just played into our hands."
An overwhelming urge to get back to Ferb came over Perry when he realized just how similar the situation was playing out to what Professor Poofenplotz described happening in the other dimension. Something had not played out the way they planned if they sent one of those tripods to kidnap Ferb, but were they still going to threaten to do something to Phineas if Ferb didn't give in to them? There was no way Ferb would allow them to harm Phineas on his behalf, just as there was no way Perry would allow them to harm his boys on his behalf.
"We figured the same would happen in this dimension, but we forgot just how...strong-spirited the boys of this dimension were." Professor Poofenplotz scowled, stretching her Botox-like cheeks. Her look of displeasure quickly passed, and she turned to look directly into Perry's eyes. "But I'm sure you'd rather hear about how we captured little Phineas, right?"
It was twisted, but Perry did want to know how they managed to destroy every security measure Perry had taken to protect his family. He wanted to know exactly how they had stolen Phineas when Perry was in the next room over—how they had taken a member of his family right out from under his nose.
"It was too easy," she swooned, nearly laughing at the memory. "All we had to do was hack into your system and terminate the video feed and cameras placed around the property." She got in Perry's face so that he could smell the stagnant stink of her breath. "We just used our handy tripod, one of hundreds that we have made, and had it land in your backyard. From there, the tripod just had to open the window a bit, snatch Phineas in a claw much like the one you're in, and pull him out and away before his scream could wake anyone.
"Really, it was so simple that we almost decided to kidnap both boys in one go. It would have saved us so much time..." Professor Poofenplotz shook her head with a sigh, acting as though she had forgotten to get another item at the grocery store. "Of course, little Phineas put up quite the fight." Perry took note of how her demeanor changed, going from nonchalant to tense. "Getting his cooperation proved difficult."
The annoyance that flitted across her face caused Perry to inwardly smirk. As if Phineas would ever cooperate with them.
"But," Professor Poofenplotz raised the pitch of her voice, wiping the satisfaction from Perry's mind, "we discovered that it is not very difficult to entice a twelve-year-old boy. Especially after we gave him a crew cut...and forced him to scrub the lair with a toothbrush...and made sure that he never entertained himself."
A warning sign went off in Perry's head, as though these methods should sound alarmingly familiar. The crew cut could have been Professor Poofenplotz's idea since the old lady was very vain and completely obsessed with her hair, so that was an act she would consider beyond torturous, but even that sounded as though it came from someone else.
"He still wasn't broken," Professor Poofenplotz lamented, putting her hands on her hips. "But we knew one more push would have him over the edge. Once he sees that we have his step-brother, he'll do whatever we tell him to." All pleasantries disappeared from the old woman as she stared down at Perry, smiling callously in his face. "Oh, yes, we have a lot planned for your Phineas. He will be quite the...assistant."
Professor Poofenplotz looked as though she had more to say, but a loud crash interrupted her.
It was inevitable, but Rodney easily overtook his out-of-shape rival, sliding into Doofenshmirtz's legs as a baseball player would slide to base. Doofenshmirtz grunted as he lost his balance and slammed hard on his back. If it wasn't for his daily activities with Perry the Platypus, there was no way Doofenshmirtz would have been able to get back up. Since luck was not on his side, Rodney expected this.
"C'mon, Heinz!" Rodney patronized as he approached Doofenshmirtz. "You know you don't want to fight me. You'll lose for sure. Just hand the brat over and let us be done with this!"
"As if," Doofenshmirtz retorted, mimicking his daughter's roll-of-the-eyes. Rodney obviously didn't want Doofenshmirtz to make it to Perry the Platypus. Even that crazy, bald guy knew that he didn't stand a chance against an agent like Perry.
Instead of begging Doofenshmirtz to reconsider, Rodney simply shrugged. "Fine. Have it your way."
There was absolutely no hesitance as Rodney lunged forward, performing a successful uppercut that caused Doofenshmirtz to completely relinquish his grip on the green-haired boy. Pain rocketed through his senses, and he recalled the familiar pain of how the schoolboys of Gimmelshtump used to beat him up on the playground when he wore dresses, or lost kickball games, or failed to jump off the diving board, or just due to his existence on slow days. Rodney seemed to take complete joy in bringing his rival pain, for instead of heading after Ferb, who had taken the opportunity to scramble away, he continued his assault on Doofenshmirtz.
"So this is how it feels," Rodney voiced, giving Doofenshmirtz a well-placed right hook in his cheek. Blood dribbled out of his rival's nostrils, and the sight only served to excite Rodney. "This is how it feels to be on the other side of the fist!"
Doofenshmirtz weakly held up his arms to shield his face, not knowing where Rodney was going to strike next. Sometimes the bald scientist struck him with his fists, other times his feet, and even with his elbow at one point. Doofenshmirtz had never been much of a fighter, and now that he was up against someone with programmed strength, speed, and flexibility, there was just no way he could even hope to defend himself.
"You're insane!" Doofenshmirtz spat, only for his face to quickly contort in pain as Rodney jabbed his fist right into Doofenshmirtz stomach. His brain quickly searched for a way out, and the only foolproof plan that he could think of was to give up—to let Rodney know that he had won.
"Alright, alright!" Doofenshmirtz gasped, dropping to his knees. "I give up! You win! Just stop!"
"Stop?" Rodney repeated, grinning from ear-to-ear. "When I'm having so much fun? You know, I've always wanted to beat the living crap out of you. Having some moron completely ruin your reputation and give every evil scientist a bad name is very difficult to toss over one's shoulder. I think I'll stop when I'm done."
"You can have the boy!" Doofenshmirtz quickly shouted, panicking on the inside. Rodney was not only going to beat the crap out of him, but he was going to beat him to death! "That's who that withered, old crone wants! That's your job!"
Finally, Doofenshmirtz created some hesitation in Rodney, and the other evil scientist considered him. He wasn't left to mull over the decision for long, though, as he was suddenly doused with a bucket of ice, cold water.
Ferb dropped the metal bucket that he had found in a cabinet. When the German-accented scientist dropped him, he knew that he had to act quick in order to save them both. Judging by the evil, bald scientist's physique, Ferb figured that without the exoskeleton, the man was just as weak, if not weaker, than Doctor Doofenshmirtz, but there was no way Ferb could easily dismantle the exoskeleton without getting caught or severely hurt in the process. The evil, bald scientist had already proved that he would not hesitate to hurt Ferb if he got in the way.
So, Ferb did the next best thing: He searched the lair for a bucket and filled it with water from one of the sinks. It was something easily obtained in any scientific lair, and once the bucket was filled, he rushed back over to the two scientists and doused the evil, bald scientist.
Sparks flew out of Rodney's outfit, and the man screaming in pain as the exoskeleton shocked him. His cries threw Doofenshmirtz off at first, but when he realized the opening, he took it. He punched Rodney with all the remaining strength he could muster, crushing the man's nose with his fist. Rodney fell to the floor, twitching, still being lightly electrocuted, but unconscious.
Ferb took in Doctor Doofenshmirtz's appearance, shaken by the amount of damage the man had withstood for him. He had mentally prepared himself for such an event to happen, but actually seeing it was an entirely different scenario.
...what if Phineas looked like this?
"Great, this is going to take so much ice to fix," Doctor Doofenshmirtz groaned, walking in the direction that would lead them to Perry the Platypus. "I'm going to need a long holiday. Maybe a permanent one. Meh, we'll see how much my ex-wife is willing to shell out."
Ferb followed the man, unsure if he should have him stop so that he could perform basic first aid on him. He wasn't even able to ask because a loud crash startled the two, and before they could turn towards the sound, two metal claws had captured them. Ferb squirmed in the grip as it tightened around his middle, and he heard Doctor Doofenshmirtz howl in pain from being grabbed where he had been greatly wounded.
"Oh, it looks like you two aren't having one of the best days ever today."
Ferb snapped his head towards the familiar voice in disbelief, unable to fathom how this man could be here. It just couldn't be, but it was...
Khaka Peü Peü.
Author's Note: Sorry for the late update, but life became rather hectic and unpredictable these past couple months (shall I give a shout-out to that nasty New England weather?). Things seem to be settling down, so hopefully I can get back to updating regularly, and hopefully I didn't jinx anything by saying that.
Thank you to everyone who hasn't given up on this story, and thank you for not getting the idea to find out my location, kidnap me, tie me to a chair, and force me to write the chapter. Education and bills come first! (Even if you did, those debt collectors would have pulled out all the stops to find me. ;P)
Last chapter in my author's note I asked for any suggestions for stories to read, giving me a nice list to go through this past week. I still have some stories left on the list to read, but I'm really impressed with the ones that I have read! Here are some Phineas and Ferb fanfics that I recommend you read—if you haven't read them already, that is. :)
Back To Normal and Back Across by Radar180.
I Wish I May and Hello? Room Service? and Stone Cold and Confessions of Phineas Flynn by PhoenixWormwood137.
Busting, Secret Agents and Kidnapped and Prom, Primping and Annoying Pets by AnimationNut.
After Amnesia and Curing Ferbicidis by CBREL.
Under the Past Walls by CrazyCMFan100.
Dinner Guests and Like Father, Like Daughter and The Most Important Meal by disneyisbeautiful.
Long Shadows and Who I Am Inside by Kellyofthemidnightdawn.
Please support these authors by reading and reviewing their stories, and always feel welcomed to recommend a story that you would like me to read. :)