I was in the library when a second year I vaguely recognized from my House ran up to me. "Delaney is crying in the common room! Lily Evans sent me to find you!"

I was on my feet and rushing out of the library before she could even finish speaking. I had my things shoved half-hazard into my bag and a couple pieces of parchment flew out, but that was the last thing on my mind. I spat out the password and hurried the portrait until it swung open and revealed the horde of people crowded around a couch.

I shoved my way through them and saw Delaney sitting in the center with Lily beside her. Instead of being awkward and standoffish, I crouched in front of her with her hands in mine. Tears were coursing down her cheeks when she launched herself at me, wrapping arms around me before she started really sobbing. Everyone else in the common room faded to the background as I held her close and tried to comfort her.

"Shh, Lanie, it's going to be okay," I soothed, rocking us back and forth in the middle of the floor. When I realized a bunch of people were still staring, I barked, "Find something else for your entertainment!"

The people scurried away pretty quickly after that and Lily helped me get Delaney upstairs away from the remaining prying eyes. I took her robes off for her and sat against her headboard with her laying in my arms, still crying. I had no idea how to comfort her because I didn't know what happened exactly, I just laid there and rubbed her back quietly.

"My mum was working on a law to make the word mudblood punishable by either a fine or possible jail time for a hate crime. His followers didn't approve and went to my house to get even," she told me in a shaky voice. "Mum was at work, but dad was at home… She came back to find his mark hanging above our house."

Death eaters killed her father, that's why she was upset. My stomach hit my knees before knotting as my eyes burned. I blinked back my tears and focused on Delaney, this wasn't about me right now.

Henry Kalum was a wonderful man, and I'm not just saying that because he's gone. He was a primary school teacher and worked at a kids' center during the weekends and summer. Not that anyone deserved to be murdered by Voldemort, but he really didn't deserve it. I had no doubt he would've given the shirt off his back if someone asked for it.

The Dark Mark hovering over a house was never good. It almost always meant the people inside were murdered by death eaters or Voldemort himself. I could only imagine the unadulterated fear that coursed the Izzie Kalum's head when she arrived home to see that hanging in the sky.

"Dumbledore told me I can go with mum, but I can't seem to get myself together enough to pack," she added, breathing in deeply before blowing her nose on the tissue Lily handed her.

"I'll do it, don't worry," I promised, smiling when Venus hopped up onto the bed and made herself comfortable on Delaney's lap. "V came to keep you company while I pack your things."

She moved up so I could get off the bed before stroking Venus behind her ears. The cat hugged up to her lovingly and pressed her nose against Lanie's cheek. While she was distracted, I hurried to pack her things. She and I've been friends long enough I knew pretty much everything she would need to take with her.

I was in the bathroom gathering up her things when Lily came in with me. She looked as hopeless as I did, it was not very fun to watch your friend suffer and not be able to do anything. Wordlessly, Lily pulled me into a hug and I felt myself deflate. I'd been so focused on being strong for Delaney, I hadn't allowed myself to think about how I felt. The second Lily wrapped me in her warm embrace, a couple tears leaked out of the corner of my eyes.

"I know he wasn't mine to lose, but I cared about him," I told her shakily, wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my Oxford before pulling away. "Thank you."

I wasn't lying when I said I cared about Henry, I'd spent a lot of time over at their house before I moved in. A lot of my summers were spent there when I couldn't stand being home anymore and he always made me feel welcome. He was goofy and protective, an obvious Gryffindor if he'd been a wizard. The world was going to be a bit darker without him in it.

"Don't get so wrapped up in Delaney you forget to take care of yourself," she advised, zipping up the toiletries bag on the sink and handing it to me.

I nodded -she was right, I would do no one any good if I let myself go. I needed to put all my energy into helping her and her mother instead of avoiding my feelings until they overwhelmed me.

I went with Delaney up to Dumbledore's office to wait for her mum after she got a bit of control. The second Izzie came out of the hearth, she pulled me and Delaney into her arms and hugged us tight. After a few minutes, I stepped out of the hug and let the two of them have their time together.

"I'll gather your work so you don't fall behind, Lanie," I promised after she'd left her mother's embrace. "I'm just an owl and a Floo away if you need me, don't hesitate to ask."

They both nodded before disappearing in the green fire. I sat back in the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk and took a couple breaths, exhaustion sinking into my bones. He sat across from me and watched, bridging his fingers as he waited for me to speak.

"What do I do?" I finally asked.

"You take care of yourself and the people you care about. I'll send for you when I get the arrangements for Henry," he replied. "You can be excused from classes tomorrow if you need some time to yourself."

I nodded and made my way back to the common room, my cardigan pulled tight around me as I crossed my arms over my middle. The people who killed Henry were in leagues with my parents, they probably knew it was going to happen. Hell, as far as I knew, they could've made the plans. My stomach flopped and immediately went sour at the thought.

"Why are you wandering the hallways at night, Whitewall?" the air asked, making me jump and slap a hand over my racing heart. The air shifted and Sirius appeared with James just behind him, "I think that was a bit dramatic, don't you?"

"I didn't want Delaney to go by herself after everything that happened," I replied shakily. "And as for walking in the corridors alone, I can do whatever I like."

"Breaking up with me gave you a backbone, did it?" he asked, looking at me with a face only a pureblood could make.

"My best friend's dad was just murdered. Can you not make everything about you for one second?" I asked, frustration overwhelming my need to be unseen. "Seriously, get over yourself! You're not the only person in the world who's in pain!"

The icy mask over his face cracked and he dropped his eyes to the floor. I turned on my heel and made my way down the hallway, my heart aching because he didn't try to stop me on top of the ache from losing Henry. I guess we really were over. I would just catalogue that back for when I had time to think about it, but right now I had to focus on being there for Delaney.

"He's trying to keep himself from getting hurt," Remus announced, slipping out of the shadows and making me jump. "Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you."

"Trust me, I'm not going to hurt him. I don't even want to be around him and he's made it pretty clear he doesn't want me around him either," I replied, continuing my walk back to the common room.

He didn't give up and his long legs made him catch up with me easily, falling into step beside me. "We don't really know each other, but I know Sirius. He does stupid things when he's scared and his boggart would probably look like you."

That stumped me and made me stop, pulling him to the side before I started talking. "What are you talking about? He's possibly the best dueler in the school and I'm mediocre at best. Did you forget the time I turned my hair bubblegum pink on accident in Charms second year?"

"Fortunately for me, I did not," he smiled but quickly sobered when he saw my face. "He doesn't do well with emotions unless they're towards the three of us, and that was like pulling teeth. He doesn't trust people and he got scared when he started trusting you. Then the tapestry incident happened and you saw him at his most vulnerable and he bolted."

"Look, I have bigger things to worry about than his hurt feelings," I sighed. "He's not the only one with trust issues either."

"Delaney alluded to you also having problems but never specified about any of them," he said. When he saw me about to lecture him about boundaries, he held up his hands and said, "Which is fine, I swear I have more issues than you could ever dream of. It's not my business what you're dealing with if you don't want to share it with me."

"The thing is, Sirius knows everything," I told him, leaning back against the wall. "He knows about all my problems, but he wouldn't really share any of his with me. Which is cool, I just can't help him if he doesn't tell me what's wrong. I can't fix something I don't understand."

"Just keep pushing him, he'll crack eventually," he promised, giving my shoulder a squeeze. Then his face turned somber and he asked, "Can you tell Delaney I'm sorry about her dad?"

"I'm sure she'd love it if you wrote to her," I suggested, a flicker of a smile tugging at my lips. "I see the way you two look at each other, it's sweet."

He flushed from the apples of his cheeks down beneath the collar of his shirt. "No, it's not like that. She and I are friends."

I just shrugged and replied, "That's good, she needs friends right now. And she would still love it if you wrote to her."

"And Sirius would love it if you kept trying to be with him," he countered, but I could tell he was still flustered. "But you do whatever you want, and if you need to talk about anything, you know where I live."

Despite my dislike of personal contact, I wrapped my arms around him and let him hug me back. Even if he looked tall and lanky, the boy could give really wonderful hugs. When we parted, we went back to the common room together and parted ways for our respective dorm rooms.

All the girls were already asleep when I came upstairs so I quietly went into the bathroom. I was going to shower and get ready for class tomorrow. There was only a week of classes left before the Christmas holiday, but I wasn't sure if Izzie wanted me to come back to her house. I didn't want to intrude or overstay my welcome while they were going through such a difficult time.

Unfortunately, showering gave me more than enough time to think about the Sirius situation. I understood being standoffish out of fear and I also understood keeping secrets to protect myself. Yet, Sirius knew all my secrets and should know I'd never push him away or hurt him at all. Honestly, the thought of hurting him made me ache -even now when he's was being an insufferable prat.

After my shower, I still wasn't very tired so I went down to the common room. I relit the fire with a little magic and burrowed into one of the couches with my knees pulled up. I conjured a blanket and draped it over my lap, leaning against the cushy armrest as I stared into the flames.

"I've heard staring directly at fire burns your eyes," Sirius said, making me jump and sit up straight. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you again. Remus said you guys talked about me earlier…"

I just shrugged and flicked my gaze up to the mantel piece instead of the dancing flames. "You came up during conversation, yes."

"He also told me I needed to get my head out of my ass and be with you because no one else was ever going to deal with me being an 'entitled, spoiled brat with a mummy complex for days' like you would," he quoted, sitting on the other side of the couch. "He's right, I just don't want to inflate his ego anymore."

That made me snort and say, "Yes, Remus is the one with the huge ego."

"Fair enough, I deserved that," he told me, breathing through his nose dramatically before placing his hand over mine on the cushion. "I'm sorry I hurt you, I was afraid. What I said wasn't fair and it wasn't even what I think. I don't mind waiting for you to be ready, I'd rather sit with you while you do homework than shag anyone."

I sighed and looked over at him. "If that's your idea of an apology, I think I'm good without it honestly."

"I'm trying, Poppy! I don't apologize often, not even to the guys," he kept trying. "I didn't want you see me vulnerable, nothing good ever comes when I'm vulnerable. Then you called me by my full name the other night and it was terrifying. I just want you to know how sorry I am, I messed up."

He was being honest with me, I could see it on his face. The haughty smile was nowhere to be seen, but I couldn't forget the way he cut me to the bone without flinching. He could be very cruel and I didn't think I could handle that again. As if he hadn't already broken my heart enough, that completely severed the pieces.

I sighed and pulled my knees up, wrapping my arms around them with my chin resting on top. "I don't trust you anymore. You were so cruel and awful, I don't ever want to see that side of you again."

He didn't say anything, he just looked at me with a frown. We were at an impasse, he couldn't undo what happened and it seemed I couldn't forgive him for it just yet. I knew my face was betraying nothing, I'd perfected the expression a long time ago. I wasn't trying to be cruel, I knew how much that hurt, I was just trying to keep myself from getting hurt anymore.

"Please don't give up on me," he begged. "Do you want me to beg you on my knees? I'll do it! I'll stand up on a table in the Great Hall and announce how much of a bleeding sod I am! I'll do anything you want me to do."

"Why would you think I wanted a big show like that?" I asked in exasperation. "I just want you to feel like you can be yourself with me. I thought you and I were the same, but I would've never done you this way."

He bowed his head and moved to stand up, heading back upstairs away from me. "I'm sorry, I really am."

And the saddest part was I believed him.

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