Chapter 12: Unexpected
"You did what?!" Kara's eyebrows shot up so quickly Astra thought they would fly off her head and make little holes in the ceiling. "I'm not surprised, but I'm sorry- you killed Zod?"
Lor has stood by the sink for the past half hour, an improvement from the pacing he'd been occupying himself with since the gang returned home. Even Lillian has nothing to say about the assault on the compound. That being said, anyone could detect the smug satisfaction exuded by her body language. It's Kara whose been the most restless, up all night unable to sleep. It's unlike her, but this situation is incredibly fucked up. How would anyone respond to this? Now, of course, Lena's return and the revelation it brought gave her something to focus on. She looks Lena dead in the eye and repeats her question. "You killed Zod?"
Lena isn't entirely sure how to respond when Kara looks at her that way. This is a fury she's never seen even in Lex's eyes, during the darkest parts of his madness. This is something deeper, more primal. She gulps, does her best to return the Kryptonian's gaze. The only avenue she feels is appropriate at this juncture is to answer immediately and honestly. "Yes, I did."
Kara doesn't even blink. She doesn't yell, doesn't condemn, doesn't rage. She doesn't do anything Lena expected her to do. She simply takes a breath and replies:
"I wanted to be the one."
Um… excuse?
"Kara?"
"I said what I said," the blonde remains stern, arms crossed over her chest as she closes the space between her and Lena. "I wanted to be the one to kill him. For me, for Laurel and Winn, for those hundreds of poor souls he did this exact thing to. But thank you." She kisses Lena's forehead and exhales once more. "I'm gonna go shopping! Do you want to come babe?"
Huh? How could she just deflect like that? Move on so quickly? This can't be normal or healthy, can it? She needs to deal with this, not just brush it off or sweep it under the rug or whatever idiom is appropriate here. Lena doesn't even know how to fully approach the situation Team Supergirl has found themselves in, so how does Kara? This can't be the right way to deal. It just can't. She knows from experience that pushing things down makes them come back tenfold. She's sure Alex can also attest to that certainty. However, perhaps it's best to run with it, let Kara do things at her own pace. If this is what she needs right now then so be it.
X=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=X
Credit cards are to be used frugally, that is what Alex had taught Kara growing up. Although she resented Kara quite a bit for several years, Alex had loved teaching her things and learning how to be a sister. I promise I'll get better at it. And she had. Kara was indescribably thankful for Alex, for everything the Danvers family had taught her. In this case, however, credit cards were not to be used frugally. Lena was a bit despondent at this fact. She'd spent the last four hours practically chasing Kara all around downtown, swipes here and swipes there and swipes everywhere. They had to have racked up at least 300 dollars' worth of baby stuff already. "Kara, sweetheart, slow down please!"
Kara did not slow down.
X=x=x=x=x=x=X
Upon their arrival home, Kara flopped into bed and beckoned Lena to her. The brunette did not require much convincing as far as that went. Despite the circumstances, the two of them had settled into something resembling normalcy. Kara simply hoped she was strong enough to "see past the hell", as that little dutiful voice in her brain told her, but traumas never played fair. It wasn't the faults of the babies; they didn't ask to exist. And they would have existed anyway if Krypton had never exploded and she'd married Lor as intended. She would defy her captors' nefarious intentions. These children would not be weapons, they would be symbols of hope just like their mother. She would transform the most unethical and inhumane thing imaginable into something good and pure. Though the pain upon which she was visited would stay with her forever, she decided to push that down in favor of duty to her people. This is not how she imagined such a milestone would happen, it's unethical in the utmost, but Kara had a responsibility to her dead race. In any normal circumstance, she would've had the procedure. The abortion. What grew inside were reminders of her torment, no way around that reality. But she was not human, and she was among the last of her kind. She would not allow these horrors to overtake her. This is her choice, her cross to bear. Maybe she is carrying on with it partially out of spite and hatred toward those who did this to her. Maybe. The cold hard alien aspect of her saw minimal issue with this, but Kara Danvers knew Lena and Alex (Maggie, too, for good measure) would probably look at her strangely. She has always been fiercely pro-choice ever since she was old enough to understand it all, and this was her choice. She understands that most humans would disagree vehemently with her, but she is not human. Her morality is different than theirs.
Such a conversation would come later. Right now, all she worried about was the safety of the very fragile human she has come to call her own. Her love. Her mate. She nuzzled her lover and kissed Lena's nose. "I'm gonna teach you Kryptonian," she whispered as Lena fell asleep beside her.