Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.
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"Wnph shfff slff unph," Pyro looked down through the hole in ceiling.
He, the RED Pyro, and RED Engineer were on what appeared to be the second floor of Mann Manor. Or maybe an attic of some sort. It was hard to tell. It was a floor with a giant hole in it. A hole that had a nice view of the third control point. The scarecrow and the Horseless Headless Horsemann were standing on said control point, guarding a jack 'o' lantern the sat between them. The Horseless Headless Horsemann was talking away and the two monsters didn't seem to notice the three mercenaries above. Still, they all took a step back from the hole once they accessed the situation.
"Myumuh," Pyro turned to the two REDs. "Wph shfff slff unph sff unff cnn hnffle tff scffcfff nnn mph ooff cnn hnffle mph Horff Hephlph Horffmph."
"Myumuh," the RED Pyro nodded. "Bff myoo gnph mph?"
"Mph?"
"Miyy wnnf mph tff lph mph scffcfff," the RED Pyro stubbornly said.
"Mee bff cnn," Pyro answered. "Anff Engiphff mph diffiff mph Horff Hephlph Horffmph. Sonff gph?"
"Mmm…"
"Anff ff mph Horff Hephlph Horffmph kffs mph Engiphff, Myi wiff gph fiph mim inffph."
"Mrr-rry?"
"Mph."
"Myumuh! Sonff liff muh gnff plff," the RED Pyro decided.
The two Pyros then turned to look at the RED Engineer, who looked just a tad bit confused.
"Y'all 'ill have ta forgive me," the RED shook his head with a sarcastic grin. "I'm afraid I only caught 'bout half of that."
Pyro sighed. He walked over to the hole again and motioned for the RED to follow. Once the RED Engineer did so, Pyro pointed to the Horseless Headless Horsemann, then back to the RED Engineer, and to the monster once more. "Hnff auu ynffs," he said, grinning beneath his mask.
"What?" The RED Engineer gaped at the monster and then back to the BLU. "Ya can't be serious! That monster'll chop mah head off faster than a Scout can cap a point!"
Pyro just shrugged.
The RED Engineer then turned to his teammate for support.
After a moment of staring, the RED Pyro shrugged as well. He then stepped forward and delicately patted the Texan on the shoulder. "Mrrry," he mumbled. He then turned around and charged down the stairs that lead to the control point with a cry of, "Hudda-hudda!"
Pyro jogged after him with an excited cry as well.
The RED Engineer stared at the two Pyros before slowly following them. "I'm gonna get it real good," he complained to himself.
As soon as the three disappeared down to the control point, the Spies and Scouts entered the room they had just left. "I thought I 'eard voice in 'ere," the RED Spy as they entered, glancing around the room in suspicion.
"Ya did!" The RED Scout had already run over to the hole in the ceiling. Staring at the floor bellow, he pointed. "Look, the Pyros an' Tex are takin' on the Horseless guy and scarecrow!"
The two Spies and Scout glanced over the hole and to the control point bellow. That indeed was the sight bellow. The two Pyros had made it down the stairs and to the control point first. The two monsters quickly jumped to intercept them. The Pyros both formed some fireballs in their hands and quickly tossed them towards the scarecrow. The scarecrow, giving a high-pitched shriek, jumped out of the way and dashed into what appeared to be a library and the room closest to the control point. The two Pyros were quick to give chase. That then left the RED Engineer and the Horseless Headless Horsemann. The RED Engineer's attack wasn't as glorious as the Pyros', if you could call it an attack at all. He actually just kind of yelled and screamed as the Horseless Headless Horsemann started chasing him with his axe. The RED, running as fast as his legs could carry him, ran into a nearby hallway, with the axe-wielding monster close behind. The large room then fell silent.
"Hey," Scout said as soon as the room emptied. "All the monsters left now. This jack 'o' lantern will be easy ta smash!"
"I don't know," Spy glanced down at the room suspiciously. "Eet seems odd. They abandoned zhe jack 'o' lantern? Just like zhat?"
"Technically, they didn't abandon it," Scout replied. "I'm guessin' the RED Engie will be finished off pretty quickly an' all. Which is why we should take care of the pumpkin now, before the Horsemann guy comes back!" Without waiting for a reply, Scout jumped off the edge of the hole. Wings fluttering, he floated down to the control point.
After a second of hesitation, the RED Scout did the same.
"Impatient Scouts," the RED Spy muttered, shaking his head. He started towards the steps that lead down to the control point.
Spy followed, watching the Scouts land.
Scout floated onto the control point, landing easily.
The RED Scout's landing wasn't as easy. His wings decided they didn't want to fly for an extra few seconds and stopped a couple feet above the control point. He fell face-first onto the point. "Damn it!"
"Nice landing, dumbass," Scout laughed.
"Shut up before I bash yer face in!" The RED Scout jumped up, glaring.
"I'd like ta see ya try!"
"Oh, yeah? Then I'll-" The RED was interrupted by a low moaning sound. He stared at Scout, who stared back.
"Was that yer stomach?" Scout asked after a second.
"Nuh-uh," the RED Scout slowly shook his head. "Was it yers?"
"Nuh-uh," Scout glanced around. Then he saw it. Next to the jack 'o' lantern, which teetered at the very edge of the control point.
The third control point had a small issue. It was barely hanging onto the floor itself. It was mostly surrounded by gaping holes that lead to darkness bellow. The moaning sound they just heard had come from the darkness bellow the point. The two Scouts quickly found out what it was when they saw two hands, wrapped in ratty and dirty gauze, appear on both sides of the jack 'o' lantern. Seconds later, the mummy slowly pulled itself up. Giving a low, moaning sound again, it slowly started towards the two Scouts, both of which shrieked.
"Get off the point, get off the point, get off the point!" Scout chanted as he jumped into the air.
"I'm workin' on it!" The RED Scout shouted as he jumped into the air as well.
The mummy tried to swipe at the two, but they were too high in the air to reach. It turned its sights on the two Spies instead.
The two Frenchmen had just made it to the bottom of the stairs when Scout started yelling, "Yous two might wanna run!"
"What di-" Spy interrupted himself with a surprised shout as the mummy lunged for him. He never cloaked so fast. After he disappeared from sight, he catapulted himself over the stairs and barely skimmed around the mummy.
The RED Spy, unfortunately, wasn't as fast. The mummy, after missing the BLU Spy, made a grab for the RED one and successfully managed to grab the man around the neck. He gave a choking sound and flailed, trying to reach for his knife.
The RED Spy would've been finished if it wasn't for the RED Scout, who flew behind the mummy and promptly whacked him over the head with his bat. The mummy gave a loud groan and dropped the RED Spy, who, after giving taking in a few quick breaths, cloaked and disappeared from sight. The mummy didn't seem to care anymore, seeing as it just moaned and held its head in pain now.
The RED Scout, wary, flew a few feet higher into the air and away from the mummy. "I got a bad feeling…" he said.
Scout, who fluttered a few feet higher than the RED, snorted. "After that weak hit? Yeah, I'd be worried too," he grinned. "But don't worry; one hit from me should take care of this knucklehead."
"I'm not talkin' about the mummy, ya idiot!" The RED Scout replied, turning in mid-air to glare at his counterpart. "I… I'm talkin' about this feeling I got-"
"Aw, ya scared?"
"No!" The RED Scout shouted. He then lowered his voice a tad bit. "I got this feeling of dread an' shit. I… I think I'm It."
"What?!" The shout of surprise came from the other three mercenaries. Scout nearly fell out of the air. Both Spies de-cloaked to stare at the RED Scout.
"Why didn't you say so, you idiot?" The RED Spy roared, no longer seeming to care he was in plain sight.
"I-I didn't-"
"Get out of here!" Scout, Spy, and the RED Spy all yelled at the same time.
"But-"
"Dude!" Scout shoved the RED Scout in mid-air, nearly knocking the other out of the air. "Get out of here! Yer gonna attract the-"
Too late. The Horseless Headless Horsemann came crashing into the room, yelling happily in a sing-song voice, "Here's Headsie!"
Cue the screaming from the mercenaries. The RED Scout took off towards a nearby room to the left that had some couches and a piano in it. The Horseless Headless Horsemann happily gave chase, practically skipping after the RED. The Spies, both of which were still stupidly de-cloaked, were grabbed by the mummy in a choking hold. Scout, in an effort to save them, began to whack the mummy in the head with his bat. The mummy, in return to this ever so violent action, threw both the Spies at Scout. The three then crashed to the ground in a tangled heap of wings and tentacles.
Of course, as the mummy was busy beating the Scout and Spies, the scarecrow had to come back into the room. The Pyros, of course, were in hot pursuit. The scarecrow jumped and danced around the room, avoiding the Pyros' flames (which hit just about everything except the scarecrow). Then, icing on the cake, the RED Scout had simply looped around the manor and had ran right back into the control point room. The Horseless Headless Horsemann was obviously still trying to catch the RED. To say all hell had broken loose would be an understatement. The Spies and Scout were trying to untangle themselves and take on the approaching mummy, while the Pyros were still spitting flames and chasing the scarecrow, and the Horseless Headless Horsemann was swinging his axe wildly, trying to hit the ever quick RED Scout.
Between the moans of the mummy, the shrieking of the scarecrow and RED Scout, and the laughter from the Horseless Headless Horsemann, it was hard to notice the little things. But every single person in that room – RED, BLU, man, or monster – froze when they heard a slight squishing sound. Everyone turned to look at the control point. There stood the RED Engineer. Jack 'o' lantern bits dripped from his wrench while the rest of the pumpkin lay smashed at his feet. "Er," the RED Engineer raised an eyebrow when he noticed everyone was staring at him. "Howdy?"
"Engineer," the RED Spy said slowly, staring at his teammate. He didn't seem to care that the mummy was looming over him at the moment. "When did you get 'ere?"
"Uh, few seconds ago," the RED Engineer replied as he jabbed his thumb behind himself, pointing in the direction of the RED resupply room. "Just got outta respawn an' all. Saw y'all were a bit busy gettin' strangled and chased, so I figured I'd just take care of the jack 'o' lantern."
"Ah." That made sense.
But that didn't mean it sat well with everyone in the room. The Horseless Headless Horsemann and his two other monster friends were most unhappy that the mercenaries had smashed a jack 'o' lantern. The mummy started strangling the Spies again. The Horseless Headless Horsemann, after giving a howl of fury at the jack 'o' lantern being smashed so easily, promptly killed the RED Scout. He then went after Scout. The scarecrow, who before had been chased by the Pyros, turned to jump them both. And after the monsters were all done with the other mercenaries, they all turned to the RED Engineer. Needless to say, the RED was sent to respawn again.
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"Zhis isn't vorking," Medic said as he leaned against a wall.
"No," the RED Medic, who stood next to him, sneered sarcastically. "And here I thought ve vere doing so vell."
Medic turned to glare at his counterpart before glancing back outside.
Both the Medics stood inside a two-story shed near the first control point. The Heavies and Soldiers were no where to be seen. Standing (and drooling) on the first control point was the zombie. It was hard to get him to budge, as the Medics quickly learned. He was certainly doing wonders at being able to guard that jack 'o' lantern. The werewolf had been there with him, but the Soldiers attacked the creature as soon as they saw it. The three had disappeared elsewhere. So while the Soldiers took care of the werewolf, the Heavies and Medics tried to smash the jack 'o' lantern and defeat the zombie.
It was going to be harder than they thought. The four had attacked at least three times, all with the same result. The zombie would take on one of the Heavies, then the vampire would appear out of nowhere, and promptly attack the other Heavy. Each time the vampire appeared was a mystery, so it always surprised them. That, and now that the fight was fair, it was a bit harder for the Heavies to deal with one monster each. Something would happen to one Heavy, he'd die, causing the monster to then gang up on the other Heavy, who die after the tables got turned, leaving the Medics Heavy-less and forcing the two Germans to retreat and wait for both Heavies to return from respawn. It was beyond frustrating. They were so close, yet so far.
"It is zat vampire zat is zhe problem," Medic turned to face the RED. "Both zhe Heavies could take on zhe zombie, if zhey both took him on together of course. But zat vampire keeps coming out of novhere and distracting one of zhem and killing zhem!"
"Ve need to take care of zhe vampire first zhen, ja?" The RED Medic peeked out of the shed.
The zombie didn't move.
The RED continued eyeing the point, making sure to look all around it as well. He pulled his head back inside a second later. "Ugh, zhe vampire probably turned back into a bat so ve von't be able to locate him! Something zat small vill be too hard to spot!"
"So zhe only vay to lure zhe vampire out is to actually attack zhe point and zombie?" Medic sighed. "Zey certainly aren't going to make zhis easy."
"I haf to a-"
"Medic!" The voice didn't belong to a Heavy, but Sniper. More than likely coming back from respawn, Sniper ran up to the Medics, ducking inside the shed. "How's it goin' fer you two?"
"Terrible," the RED Medic spat at the other BLU.
"He could not haf said it better," Medic agreed grimly. "Zhe vampire is nearby. Every time ve try to attack zhe zombie, he comes out of hiding to attack zhe Heavies!"
Sniper made a face. "Sounds like you lot have a bit of a problem," he said. "Why don't you docs try goin' on the offensive then?"
"Vhat?"
"Ya know," Sniper shrugged. "Stop over-healin' the Heavies. Use yer Bonesaws an' all. They'd prolly do more damage to the zombie than the Heavies' punches. Heavy throws a punch at the zombie bloke, zombie can just get back up and throw two more back. But if you Medics cut off his arms or somethin', he ain't got any more limbs ta attack with."
"Zat not a bad idea," Medic mused.
"And vhile ve are taking care of zhe zombie," the RED Medic thought out loud. "Zhe Heavies can take care of zhe vampire! Oh, your Sniper is smarter zhan he looks!"
"I know, right?"
Sniper frowned. After giving an annoyed sigh, he asked, "By the way, wot happened to the Soldiers? Didn't see 'em went I got outta respawn. Thought they were takin' on the werewolf."
"Zey are," the RED Medic said.
"Well then where the bloody hell are-"
Sniper got his answer when the werewolf suddenly jumped down from the roof of the shed the three mercenaries were standing in. The monster wasn't alone. It had Soldier on its back. Soldier was holding onto the werewolf with… his spine? He had literally pulled his spine out of his back, had it in front of the werewolf's neck, and was holding onto the ends of it, almost like it was a bridle or something. He was shouting with joy, while the werewolf was snarling and bucking like a bull. It ran in the direction of the second control point. The RED Soldier suddenly appeared from nowhere, chasing the after the two with his own spine in hand. He was thrashing it around like a whip. The three disappeared around a corner.
The Sniper and two Medics stared after them, amazed and a bit disturbed at the same time. After a moment of silence, Sniper finally asked, "How was the RED Soldier able ta run with his spine bones out of his skin an' all?"
"I haf no idea," Medic was still gaping. "And I'm not sure if I even want to know."
"As long as zey keep zhe werewolf busy," the RED Medic shrugged with indifference.
"Still, I-" Sniper cut himself off when he realized something. "Ah, bugger! Bloody wankas are headin' fer the second control point! As if there isn't enough goin' on over there!"
He made to run after the three, but stopped when Medic asked, "Vhat do you mean by zat?"
"The Scouts, Spies, Pyros, and RED Engineer smashed the jack 'o' lantern in the manor," Sniper explained. "Problem is now that now all of the monsters those blokes were fightin' are now hangin' 'round the second control point! Gettin' that bloody pumpkin ain't gonna be easy!" With that, he turned around to run back to the second control point.
"At least zey managed to smash zhe pumpkin," the RED Medic grumbled as he watched the Aussie leave.
"Ve'll explain vhat ve're going to do once zhe Heavies get here," Medic said.
The Heavies came back from respawn shortly. Now that both the Heavies found the Medics again, the RED Medic started to explain their plan. "You two vill go after zhe zombie, like you haf been. Ve vill hang back, using our Medi Guns on you two. But vhen zhe vampire appears, I vant you both to turn on him and attack him. Ve," the RED pointed to himself and Medic. "Vill zhen take care of zhe zombie."
"Both doktors are sure they can handle zombie?" The RED Heavy asked, eyebrow raised.
"Please," Medic fingered his Bonesaw. "Ve decapitate things all zhe time!"
The Heavies glanced at one another before nodding.
Now with their plan of action, the four mercenaries charged out of the shed they had been taking shelter in. The zombie slowly glanced towards them as they approached. It took a step towards the approaching mercenaries. The Heavies, both shouting battle cries, began throwing punches at the zombie as soon as they were close enough. The zombie took the punches with ease. It barely stumbled back as the Heavies pummeled him. Giving a low groan, the zombie started to throw some punches back. The two Medics hung back, Medi Guns trained on their Heavy. Despite the brawl just starting, the RED Medic caught sight of something near the battling Heavies and monster.
"Look," the RED elbowed Medic in the side and pointed above the three brawlers. "Up zhere!"
Medic glanced up. Sure enough, a couple of feet above the zombie, a small bat hovered. It had to be the vampire. "Heavy," Medic then called to his fellow BLU. "Zhe vampire is here!"
At the BLU's warning, both the Heavies glanced up. As soon as they did, a black mist swirled around the bat. It expanded and seconds later the vampire dropped from the sky, landing next to his zombie friend. It gave a hiss, reveling sharp pointy teeth. Then, much faster than the zombie moved, the vampire lunged forward to swipe at Heavy. It got him in the jaw and the BLU stumbled back. Then it swiped at the RED Heavy. But the RED was ready. The RED Heavy caught the vampire's arm just before it hit him. The RED then tossed the monster away from the control point. The two Heavies then went after the downed vampire, turning their backs on the zombie, who seemed stupefied at being sidestepped. It took a step towards the Heavies, but was intercepted by the Medics. They both had their Bonesaws out. The three stared each other down.
"How should ve go about doing zhis?" Medic asked, eyeing the zombie.
"I vas thinking something along zhe lines of you cutting off his left arm and I vill get zhe right," the RED Medic replied, grinning. "Sound fair?"
"I vas talking about something more tactical," Medic frowned at the other at first, but after a moment, grinned back. "But I like your idea as vell! Let's do it!"
"Vonderful!"
The two Medics lunged. The zombie, too slow to dodge, could only grunt as two Bonesaws plunged into his flesh, one in his left arm and the other on his right. It cut into the monster's flesh, yes, but wasn't able to cut clean through. The Medics tore their Bonesaws out of the monster's hide, disappointed they didn't have enough strength to cut cleanly. They jumped back as the monster suddenly swiped at them. After dodging that, the RED Medic went back in and swiped with his Bonesaw. The zombie's right arm fell to the ground. Before the RED could let out a triumphant shout of "Yes!" or anything of the sort, the zombie roared in pain and swung at the RED Medic with his right arm.
The zombie's right fist connected painfully into the RED's stomach, and sent him flying back into Medic. The two Germans fell to the ground in a pained heap. Before either could stand back up, the zombie reached forward and snatched the RED Medic by the neck. The RED, who had dropped his Bonesaw in surprise, could only claw at the zombie's hand in a vain attempt to get the monster to let go. It wasn't much use. The zombie continued choking the RED. The monster only lessened its hold on the RED Medic when it felt something sawing into its left leg. Groaning in pain, the zombie looked down to see Medic quickly sawing through his shin. And before the monster could do anything else, Medic sliced through his leg. The zombie, now unbalanced, fell backwards.
The RED Medic scrambled up and away from the zombie, gasping. He took a few seconds to get some more air into his lungs before glancing over to the other. "You… you…"
"Just saved you?" Medic grinned. "Vhy, yes, I did," Before the RED could say anything else, Medic tossed him his Bonesaw. "You really need to sharpen your Bonesaw. It's not nearly as sharp as it could be."
"Vell, excuse me-"
"Ack!" Medic interrupted the other with a yell. He pointed to the zombie, who was trying to stand back up with only one-and-a-half leg left. "Don't let him back up!"
The two Medics, Bonesaws in hand, then descended up the downed zombie and proceeded to chop him into tiny pieces.
The Heavies, both of which were only a few feet away, glanced over at the Medics. The RED Heavy, who was holding the vampire, simply said, "Medics are doing much damage on zombie."
Heavy, who was punching the vampire in the gut as the RED held him, looked over and said, "Should we stop them, maybe? Zombie looks to be ded."
"Nyet," the RED Heavy said. "Let them have their fun."
Heavy shrugged and resumed punching the vampire in the gut.
The Medics, after a few gleeful moments of chopping and decapitating, stood back to admire their work. A fleshy mess that used to be a zombie lay before them. "Vell," the RED Medic grinned down at the mess and then to Medic. "Zat vas fun."
Medic couldn't help but nod in agreement. "I really need to start hurting more zhan I heal," he added. "Or maybe just decapitate things more often."
A whistle came from behind them. Both the Medics turned around to see Spy standing on the first control point. "I see you all are 'andling things well 'ere," he said, raising his eyebrows at the mess the Medics stood over.
"Vhen did you get here?" Medic asked.
"Oh, a few minutes ago," the BLU held the jack 'o' lantern in his tentacles. "I just came out of respawn. I noticed you were distracting those monsters and, well, decided to pop in unannounced and take care of this." The tentacles constricted the pumpkin and it crumbled into a gooey mess resembling that of the zombie. "Zhat leaves one jack 'o' lantern."
"It's at zhe second control point, ja?" The RED Medic waited for no reply. "Let's go over zhere now." He turned around to face the Heavies. "Heavy," he called to his teammate. "Are you two done vith zhe vampire yet?"
The Heavies approached the two Medics and Spy. "Ha!" the RED Heavy laughed in reply. "What vampire? You mean this vampire?" The RED held up a small, limp, and surely knocked out (maybe even dead) bat. "Is taken care of now." The RED threw the bat to the ground, where it landed amongst the flesh mess.
"Good," the RED Medic nodded. "Zhen to zhe second control point ve go."
The Heavies, Medics, and Spy all made their way to the control point. It was a tad bit chaotic there. The five mercenaries had to stare for a few seconds to take in the action. The Horseless Headless Horsemann was taking off anyone's head if they came too close to the control point while also trying to swat both the Scouts out of the sky. The mummy was wrestling with the two Demomen. Soldier was facing the werewolf alone at the moment, but the RED Soldier could be seen running out of the manor and headed in their direction. Pyro was still dealing with the scarecrow, but the RED Pyro was no where to be seen. Both the Engineers couldn't be found either, and only the RED Sniper could be seen at the moment as well.
"Merde," Spy's curse caused the Medics and Heavies to glance at him. "Does your Spy know anything about cloaking?" He nodded to the RED Spy, who had suddenly appeared. The scarecrow, taking note of him, decided to chase after him, instead of dealing with Pyro. Pyro wasn't doing much to stop it from happening.
"Ugh," the RED Medic rolled his eyes. "Heavy, let's go help him."
The RED Heavy nodded and without a word the two REDs dashed off.
Medic and Heavy where about to follow, but a shrill whistle caused them to stop. Then they heard a, "Hey, fellas, over here!" Medic, Heavy, and Spy all turned to see Engineer in a shed next to the shed sheltering the second control point. He waved them over. The three BLUs ran over and crowded around the entrance of the shed, seeing as it wasn't that big anyway.
"Engineer, vhat are you doing in here?" Medic asked.
"Tryin' not ta die, mostly," Engineer shrugged. "But I'm also tryin' to come with some sort-a plan ta smash that jack 'o' lantern."
"Eet seems easy enough," Spy raised an eyebrow. "We outnumber zhe monsters much more now. 'as anyone tried going near zhe point yet?"
"Every time one of 'em does, the Horseless Headless Horsemann goes berserk and charges the point! Y'all would not believe how many times I've seen both the Scouts die already. And that witch," Engineer pointed to the sky, where the witch was surely flying about. "Also dive-bombs anyone who gets too close to the point."
"Zhe monsters won't make zhis easy," Medic sighed, remembering what Sniper had said earlier.
Engineer nodded. "Which is why I'm tryin' ta think of somethin'," he said.
"What about zhe idea you and zhe RED Engineer suggested from zhe start?" Spy asked.
"What?"
"You know," Spy crossed his arms. "Zhe one where someone distracts while us Spies cloak and smash zhe pumpkin? You two Engineers seemed very proud of yourselves for coming up with zhat idea."
"I dunno, Spah," Engineer frowned. "There's an awful lotta monsters out there now. The Horseless Headless Horsemann's barely set foot off that control point! How you Spahs gonna get passed him?"
"Easily," Spy smirked. "Because 'e won't be on zhe point once I get there. 'e will be distracted. By you all, just like you first suggested."
The other three BLUs glanced at one another, frowning.
"I guess…" Engineer muttered after a moment.
Spy nodded. "Then go and distract some of zhe monsters! Zhe sooner I smash zhe pumpkin, zhe sooner we will be normal again," he urged.
Engineer just sighed and nodded as he exited the shed.
As Medic and Heavy exited as well, Spy could hear Medic saying," Let's see if ve can distract zhe Horseless Headless Horsemann…"
Spy paused a moment before he left as well. He let out a long sigh. Then he snapped into action.
As soon as Spy exited the shed, he cloaked. Then, as quickly as his tentacles could carry him, he dashed towards the shed that sheltered the second control point. It wasn't easy. He could hear the witch laughing somewhere above him as he skirted around the mummy, who was strangling the Demomen, and the werewolf, who was still snarling at the Soldiers. Spy didn't actually head for the control point. The Horseless Headless Horsemann was still in there and wasn't budging from his spot atop the point. Hopefully, Heavy and Medic would be able to take care of that soon. But at the moment, all Spy could do was run to the other side of the shed, the side that faced the fenced-in graveyard. A perfect place for a Spy to hide while the rest of the mercenaries and monsters fought in front of the point.
Luckily for Spy, the RED Spy seemed to agree that this was a great place to take a breather as well. As soon as Spy de-cloaked and leaned against the side of the shed, the RED Spy materialized next to him, looking out of breath. "Where 'ave you been?" the RED demanded.
Spy glanced at the other with indifference. Ignoring the RED's question he said instead, "You 'ave some straw sticking out of your mask. Scarecrow get a few good punches in?"
The RED Spy glared daggers at his counterpart as he plucked the bits of straw away. "Well?"
"We need to climb on top of zhe shed," Spy said, peeking around the corner and at a ladder leaning against the shed. "We'll get a better view of everything. Come on." With out waiting to see if the RED was following, Spy cloaked and quickly scrambled up the ladder.
The RED Spy did indeed follow, not that surprised Spy at all. What kind of surpriseed Spy was the fact Sniper was up there and, well, alive. "Spoi?" The Aussie had been crouching at the other end of the building until he noticed the two Spies come up and de-cloak. Lowering his Huntsman, he asked, "Wot 'cha doin' up here?"
"Taking an inventory," Spy replied, peeking over the edge of the building.
The RED Spy did the same.
"Soldiers are still fighting zhe werewolf," Spy noted. "They 'ave moved to zhe front door of zhe manor, 'owever."
"Demomen still with zhe mummy," the RED Spy said. "I can't see either of the 'eavies or Medics. Engineers are 'elping zhe Pyros with zhe scarecrow as well."
"Scouts in zhe air, playing tag with zhe witch…"
"And both zhe Snipers are sniping. At least I think zhey are," the RED Spy cast his cold gaze to the Aussie. "I 'ave yet to see either of you actually 'it any of zhe monsters."
"Hey!"
"Well zhen 'ere is a chance for Sniper to redeem 'imself," Spy said, turning to his teammate. "Sniper, get zhe Scouts' attention. We need to speak with them."
Sniper gave one last evil eye to the RED Spy before readying his Huntsman. Once catching sight of one of the Scouts, he loosed an arrow into the air.
Scout, hovering quite a number of feet away from the shed, blinked in surprise when as arrow suddenly flew so close to him. He glanced in the direction it came from. He caught sight of Sniper on the shed's roof, waving at him. Strange thing was that Scout could see both the Spies up there too. Face full of confusion, he harshly nudged the RED Scout and motioned towards the building. The two flew over to the shed's roof. "What d'ya want?" Scout asked as soon as he was over there.
"I need you to actually distract one of zhe monsters!" Spy said.
"The witch started goin' after us," the RED Scout piped up. "Doesn't that count?"
"Forget about zhe witch," Spy snapped. "You two need to distract zhe 'orseless 'eadless 'orsemann so we Spies can sneak in to smash zhe jack 'o' lantern, like planned."
"But we've already tried!" Scout complained. "The Horseless guy jus' won't get far away from the point fer one of us ta smash the pumpkin."
"Zhat is why we'll be sneaking in, not being obvious idiots and flying straight towards it," Spy rolled his eyes. "Besides, you will 'ave some 'elp."
"We will?"
"Of course," Spy smirked. "Sniper will 'elp you distract zhe 'orseless 'eadless 'orsemann."
"Wait, wot-" Before Sniper could get much else out, Spy pushed him off the roof of the shed. Just pushed him. Just like that. Sniper landed on the ground with a pained grunt.
"Ooohhh," Both Scouts cringed as they fluttered down next to the fallen BLU.
"Dat had ta hurt," the RED Scout grinned.
"Bloody Spies," was all Sniper said as he shakily stood up. He craned his neck to look back up to the roof of the shed, where the two Spies were now looking down on them.
"We're counting on you!" The RED Spy sneered before the two Spies cloaked and disappeared.
Sniper practically growled in fury, but other than that, there wasn't much else he could do. "Alright, fine," he fingered his Huntsman. "Wot do we do now?"
"Now?" The RED Scout was still grinning. "Now is the part where BLU fairy boy here batter's up-" As the RED Scout said this, Scout hit his baseball with his Sandman. "-hits da Horseless guy in da head-" The baseball connected with the Horseless Headless Horsemann's head. "-and then we fly away ta safety." As soon as the RED Scout said that last part, both Scouts flew a few more feet higher into the air. Why? Because the Horseless Headless Horsemann was looking right at them. Or more specifically, Sniper. Because both Scouts had flew out of sight and the only person he currently saw was Sniper.
Sniper gave a yell as the Horseless Headless Horsemann charged towards him, obviously not liking how close to the point he was (and, well, for the whole baseball thing). The BLU started loosing arrows, but they didn't phase the monster too much. They hit him, all right. It just didn't seem to affect him or bother him. So Sniper decided to try something else. He lifted his hand and willed some sparks to fly from his fingertips. A flurry of electricity did and zapped the Horseless Headless Horsemann. It had more of an affect, but still didn't stop the monster. As the Horseless Headless Horsemann stumbled closer to Sniper still, the RED Scout suddenly flew next to the monster, bat raised.
"Batta swing!" The RED yelled as he swung his bat. It connected with the Horseless Headless Horsemann's head and caused his head to spin. Literally. As in a 360-turn.
The monster stopped running. "Ooohhh," the Horseless Headless Horsemann whined as he put on hand on his head. "That really hurt!" And before the RED Scout could zip away, the monster reached out with his other hand and snatched him from the air.
"Shit!" The RED shrieked.
The Horseless Headless Horsemann slowly twisted his head back so it was facing the normal way once more. "You really shouldn't have done that," he said as he glared at the RED Scout. The monster then suddenly turned around to find Scout charging towards him, armed with his Sandman. Before Scout could get too close though, the Horseless Headless Horsemann threw the RED at Scout.
"Ahhh!" They collided in mid-aid and fell to the ground.
"Scout!" Sniper yelled, quickly readying another arrow. He loosed it and it hit the monster square in the back.
The Horseless Headless Horsemann just tsked in response. "Finishing touch," he said as he walked over to the downed Scouts and picked them both up. He then turned around and threw them both at Sniper. The three collided in a heap of wings and arrows. The Horseless Headless Horsemann picked up his axe, which he had set down a little while ago to deal with the RED Scout, and raised it above his head. "Let's see if I can get all three of your heads off in one swing!"
But the Horseless Headless Horsemann never found out if he could.
Because the damn jack 'o' lantern got pulverized.
The Horseless Headless Horsemann turned to look at the second control point. Standing on it was the two Spies. And between them was the crushed remains of the last jack 'o' lantern of the game. Both Spies looked pretty damn proud of themselves.
All the other monsters and mercenaries stopped to gape as well. Then the mercenaries all started talking at once.
"We DID it!" Demoman's mouth hung open in shock.
"Yes," Soldier grinned as he slipped his spine bones back into his back. "And that is how you do it!"
"That's how it's done," Engineer grinned at the RED Engineer, who stood next to him with his hand on his hardhat and his mouth gaping.
"So Spies can be credit to team," the RED Heavy laughed.
"Finally," the RED Medic sighed. "And here I thought ve vould be here all night!"
As both REDs and BLUs continued cheering and sighing with relief, the Horseless Headless Horsemann scowled. He glanced around at his monster friends, who all had similar frowns of disappointment. Nearly growling in frustration, he whipped his head back to the Sniper and two Scouts he was about to decapitate.
They nervously glanced between him and their teammates.
The Horseless Headless Horsemann rolled his eyes dramatically. Then, with a scream that rivaled a banshee, he brought his axe down.
Luckily for the three mercenaries, it connected with the ground and not their necks. It was just a few inches away from the RED Scout's head. They all sighed with relief.
"Alas," the Horseless Headless Horsemann grinned and released the handle of his axe. It was still stuck in the ground, however. "I'm a monster of my word."
"Good ta hear," Sniper quietly grumbled as he and the two Scouts scrambled up. The three ran over to their teammates.
"Geez," Scout said as he approached Spy. "Took ya long enough. We were about ta get our heads shopped off!"
"Perhaps, but your 'eads are still intact, yes?" Spy said as he strutted off the control point. He walked over to Sniper. "Ah, Sniper. It was so nice of you to 'elp zhe Scouts like zhat. Really 'elped speed zhe process up."
"The next time," Sniper pointed to the Spy. "You're in the battlements, I'm pushin' you off when a Heavy-Medic duo comes chargin' our base."
"Whatever you say, bushman," Spy grinned.
"Hey," Engineer came up to the three. "If pushin' Slim off a roof helped ta win the game, I gotta admit, I'm glad Spy did it."
"See? Engineer liked my plan of action."
"And here I thought we were friends, Truckie."
"Aw, Stretch, don't be so-"
"Yes, yes," the Horseless Headless Horsemann's booming voice drowned out the rest of Engineer's words. It drowned out everyone's words, in fact. "You all won the game. Congrat-u-my-lations," He said dully as he walked over to stand in front of the horde of gathering mercenaries.
The REDs and BLUs stared the monster down.
"Well?" Spy eventually spoke up. "We won your game. You 'ave to turn us back now."
"Oh, don't get your panties in a twist, I'm working on it," the Horseless Headless Horsemann said. "It was fun, mercs. I do so hope we can do this again some time. But until then," the monster held up a hand and snapped his fingers. "Sweet dreams, mercs."
Then everything went black.
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A/N: I am so sorry. It was either have two short action-packed chapters or one ridiculously long action-packed chapter. As you can see I picked the latter. I hope this monster of a chapter didn't cause your brain to melt or anything.
Oh, and anyone who gets what "Get off the point, get off the point, get off the point!" is referencing to will be dubbed awesome.
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