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Chapter 12

Gail and Audrey were sitting in the Baldwin's living room drinking tea. "How are you?" Gail asked her friend.

"Tired, sad, and angry." Audrey responded truthfully.

"They will find Kiefer." Neither Gail nor Audrey had any illusions about what would happen when Jason got his hands on the young man.

"I know. It's Elizabeth I'm concerned about." Audrey wanted to run her plan past Gail. "I'm thinking of returning to France soon."

"Are you concerned about Steven and Claire?" Gail asked before giving her advice.

"I am, but I'm more concerned what my presence here in Port Charles will do. If I'm here Elizabeth and Jason will look to me for primary care. Not that I mind. I would love to stay and fuss over my granddaughter." Audrey began explaining.

"But you think she will use you to hide from Jason?" Gail agreed with Audrey's assessment.

"I do, with me here there is not a reason for her to go to Jason for support. It seems almost cruel to plot like this, but I don't see her letting him in completely as long as I am nearby." Audrey just shook her head.

"He's no picnic either. According to inside information Jason hasn't really been committed to a relationship since Carly. Even with his last girlfriend he didn't give all of himself. Carly hurt him deeply, and I'm guessing his love for Elizabeth is much stronger than what he felt before. He was scared and ran." Gail let her friend think on that.

"I did some damage didn't I?" Audrey said sighing. "It was never personal."

"Still Jason took it to heart when you said he wasn't good enough to be Elizabeth's friend." Gail wasn't blaming her friend just pointing out the facts.

"We only had that one talk." It was too short to call a conversation. Especially since all Audrey did was yell at Jason. "I never took the time to get to know him. I still don't like what he does."

"Neither do I, but I got to see a side of them you didn't when Logan started working for Sonny. Can they be ruthless? Absolutely. Is what they allegedly do illegal? Yes. Will they allow Elizabeth to be harmed again? No." Gail had the same reservations as Audrey. She loved her grandson and it was either accept his choices or lose him.

"You agree that I should go back to France?" Audrey asked her friend.

"I do. Robin will most likely clear Elizabeth for light activity during the follow up exam. Which should give her some mobility and a greater sense of independence. I think you should leave after that." Gail knew it would be hard for Audrey to get on that plane, but it was also what was best for Elizabeth. "I will be here if she needs me, and you can always come back if we are wrong."

"I don't think we are." Audrey said smiling. The past few days she'd seen that Jason was committed to Elizabeth. The man had admitted to being in love with her granddaughter and he was not known for sharing his emotions. He was going to try and Audrey hoped Elizabeth would as well.

"I don't think we are either." Gail told her friend. "Do you think Johnny would like to join us?" Now that their discussion was over the younger man could stop sitting on the porch.

"Have you ever driven with him?" Audrey asked with a sparkle in her eye. The ride over was exhilarating.

"Once. I'm not as much as of a speed demon as you are." Gail wouldn't ever do that again.

"I was thinking of asking to drive home." Audrey was just like her granddaughter. They both liked to drive fast.

"I will go get Johnny." Gail said laughing. She missed having her friend nearby.

Despite being invited to eat with everyone Elizabeth had dinner in her apartment. She couldn't imagine how eating while looking at her would be pleasant. Audrey went upstairs while Jason stayed downstairs. When dinner was over they sat on the couch and watched some television.

It was almost ten when Audrey returned. "Still awake I see."

"Just barely. Gram will you please help me into my night gown?" Elizabeth asked hating that she had to depend on everyone else. She'd be lying if she said she could manage on her own.

"Of course. Jason would you bring Elizabeth down to her room please?" Audrey started down the hall.

"I bet you'll be happy when you don't have to carry me everywhere." Elizabeth said as he lifted her in his arms. She wouldn't ever tire of being held so close.

"I'll miss it." He told her honestly.

"By the end of the week you'll be singing a different tune." She said as she placed her head on his shoulder.

"No I won't." He placed a soft kiss on her temple before heading to her room. He went back to the living room, once she was settled, unsure of just what to do now. Should he return to his home or did he do what he really wanted and offer to stay. Was this one of those times when he followed Elizabeth's lead or did he just take charge?

"Jason." Audrey called him back. "Elizabeth is dressed for bed." She told him when he walked into the bedroom. She was wearing pink silk and he loved the way the color looked against the sections of her skin that were blemish free. "I'm going to turn in for the night. Sleep well my angel." Audrey gave Elizabeth a kiss and patted Jason on the arm as she passed him.

"Would you like for me to stay until you fall asleep?" He asked still standing in the doorway.

She wanted to ask him to stay all night, but with her Gram down the hall there wasn't really a need. "Do you mind?"

"No." Jason said stepping further into the room. "I could stay all night if you like." He offered.

Elizabeth chewed lightly on her bottom lip. Instead of answering she pushed the covers down. At the unspoken invitation Jason toed off his shoes before placing his wallet and gun in the nightstand. If he was going to spend a lot of time here he'd need to bring over a lock box.

Opting to leave his clothes on Jason slid under the covers and helped Elizabeth get comfortable before lying down. She was on one side of the bed and he was on the other. The only part of them that was touching were their hands. Once again hers was clutching tightly to his. Jason shifted to his side and just watched her as she slept.

The next afternoon Elizabeth was sitting on her couch when her cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hey squirt, yes everything is still fine with the baby." Steven said to hold off the barrage of questions. "And we are all fine. Gram gave me your new phone number and address."

"The apartment is really nice and very spacious." Elizabeth told her big brother. "I'll have to take some pictures for you."

"I'd like that." Her speaking of pictures made him think of the scans he'd just reviewed. The ones Robin took before Elizabeth left the hospital. He also had received a copy of her medical file. His sister was in rough shape. "What are you doing today?"

"Not much. Jason put me on the couch after I got dressed and I've been here ever since. Moving around is still not allowed." It was frustrating.

"It's necessary for you to stay still. I know it has to hurt to move, and the blood loss will make it so you tire easily. Don't push, give your body the chance to heal." He urged her. "Are you still talking to Gail?"

"Yeah, she's coming over today so we can talk again. It's helping." Elizabeth admitted.

"But?" Steven heard the hesitation.

"I think I'd rather talk to Jason, I just haven't figured out how." Elizabeth knew Gail well, but she still didn't feel comfortable telling the older woman what she was thinking. The only person she felt comfortable talking with was Jason.

"It doesn't have to be a choice. You can talk to both of them. In fact it might be the best solution." Steven had spoken with their Gram that morning. She had told him of her plan to return after Liz's exam. Based on what she had told him Elizabeth was already starting to turn to Jason for comfort and support. The other man was making it a point to be there whenever he was needed. "Are you worried about the cost?"

"Some. Sonny is paying for everything and I do feel guilty about that. I'm pretty sure I no longer have a job at Warren's law firm, so I don't have any insurance." Elizabeth didn't want to think about how much money was being spent.

"They wouldn't do it, if they didn't care." Steven wanted his Gram to tell Elizabeth that Jason was now paying for her care. Audrey said it was something Morgan needed to tell her himself. "It's okay to let others help you."

"So says the man who earned two doctorates, while working full time." Elizabeth rolled her eyes then winced in pain. So many small things hurt.

"Believe me I was exhausted by the time I finished." Looking back Steven wished he'd gone at a slower pace. He didn't enjoy his college experience. That wasn't just because of the pace he set. It was also because he started college at fifteen. "You don't even need to go to school. With your talent you should just start showing your work."

"I'll think about it." She told her brother.

"Good. I have to go. Stay with your guard and Morgan." Steven admonished, just wanting to know she was safe.

"I will." She promised.

"I love you squirt." He told her.

"I love you too Steven." Elizabeth ended the call feeling very good. She was ready to talk with Gail.

"So what do you want to talk about today?" Gail always let Elizabeth choose the topic.

"Jason." There were things she wanted to get straight in her mind but didn't feel comfortable talking about them with her grandmother. Her relationship with Kiefer had been so messed up she was confused about a few things. "And maybe sex." She said trying not to blush.

"As one topic, or two?" Gail was surprised. She hadn't expected Liz to bring up sex so soon. It was a very good sign. The younger woman wasn't hiding. "Before we start, I have to remind you that you are in no shape for sexual intercourse. Is Jason pressuring you?"

"No. He hasn't even kissed me, although sometimes I think he wants to." Elizabeth admitted. The hour was going to be tough to get through.

"How does that make you feel?" Gail asked her young patient.

"Good, but at the same time nervous." Elizabeth said trying to get her thoughts in order. "I want him to, but I worry he won't like it."

"Kissing is pretty simple." Gail said smiling.

"Kiefer said I didn't do it well." Elizabeth said softly.

"What did Lucky say?" They hadn't talked much about Elizabeth's first boyfriend. From what Audrey had told her Gail suspected that wasn't a healthy relationship either. It sounded like Lucky had used Elizabeth to inflate his ego.

"He said I needed practice. But he was the first boy I ever kissed." Elizabeth had been hurt by that comment, but never said anything.

"Well I'm guessing that Jason won't mind practicing with you. As for whether or not you are a good kisser, you should let him make up his own mind." Gail cautioned.

"He has more experience than I do." Elizabeth told the older woman.

"He is older than you. It's not uncommon in a relationship for one party to be more sexually experienced than the other. That doesn't mean he won't appreciate you. Or enjoy what you do together." Gail told her. "Do you trust Jason?" That was what it all came down to.

"More than anyone. But at the same time I'm still afraid." Elizabeth hated that the doubt was still there.

"Given what you've been through, that is to be expected. Do you trust Jason to stop when you ask him to?" Gail wanted to know.

"Yes." Elizabeth did.

"Are you worried that he will hurt you?" Gail asked trying to help Elizabeth sort through her feelings.

"I don't think he will. He's always careful with me. Even before this. He was careful in how he touched me. But sometimes we fight." Elizabeth had learned not to talk back to Kiefer. That his way was always the best.

"Do you fight or do you argue?" There was a difference. It was time Elizabeth learned that.

"Aren't they the same thing?" Elizabeth asked wriggling her nose then hissing in pain.

"Are you okay?" Gail asked when Elizabeth teared up.

"Yeah, I have to remember not to do that." She said sighing.

"Okay. Fighting and arguing are two different things. Fighting is a physical action. It involves punching and physical pain. Arguing is emotional and yes it is can be painful too. Which do you do with Jason?" The therapist wanted to know.

"We argue. Sometimes loudly." Elizabeth said smiling. They'd had some whoppers.

"Has Jason ever hit or threatened you with physical harm when you argued?" Gail was building to something.

"No, he wouldn't ever hit a woman." Elizabeth said, and then just looked at her doctor who was smiling.

"You said that pretty quickly." Gail pointed out. "Would you like to rethink that?"

"No." Elizabeth said smiling more. "I don't have to. If I know that, then why does he still scare me sometimes?" She was still confused.

"Because when you live something day in and day out it becomes a part of you. Elizabeth what you learned being with Kiefer changed you. You will never be the person you were before you started dating him. But you don't have to stay the person you are now. You will become someone who survived and grew. It will take time. Would you like Jason to help you with that?"

"I would. But I don't know how." Elizabeth was frustrating herself.

"You aren't expected to do it today. Give yourself time to experience what it's like to be in a healthy relationship." Gail advised.

"Grampa Steve and Gram had a wonderful relationship." Elizabeth missed her grandfather. "Jason reminds me of him. Is that weird?"

"No. Your grandfather was a good man. That's not weird, it's a compliment." Gail and Audrey had talked about the parallels they saw in the two men.

"You and Lee also have a good relationship." Elizabeth told the older woman.

"I like to think so, but we argue as well. Sometimes the walls shake with how loud we get." Gail said laughing and was happy to see that Elizabeth was laughing some too. "Healthy doesn't mean you can't argue or disagree. It means understanding that there are two people involved and that you have to work every day."

"He's so different from the other two guys I was with." Elizabeth knew that in Kiefer's case that was a good thing. It was the differences with Lucky that were tripping her up some.

"How is Jason different than Lucky?" Gail asked quietly. "Let's leave Kiefer out of the discussion for now."

"Jason is more patient. Lucky hated if I had trouble making up my mind. Jason lets me talk. Lucky used to get bored and change the subject. Jason doesn't mind if I do my art. Lucky used to always tell me to hurry up." Elizabeth started listing comparison points.

"What else?" Gail gently pushed.

"I feel bad talking about Lucky like this. He's dead, and I really like Bobbie." Elizabeth said stopping.

She was reverting to wanting to please everyone. "You aren't here to help Lucky and Bobbie is aware of who her nephew was." The redheaded nurse had discouraged the relationship for a reason. She thought Lucky was too self-absorbed to be dating someone with Elizabeth's obvious issues. "So how else are Lucky and Jason different?"

"Jason lets me be myself. I don't have to worry about getting it right with him. He's the only person I've ever known who lets me be myself and accepts me. Even with Gram and Steven I sometimes feel I should be better than I am. Like I'm disappointing them." Elizabeth finished softly.

"But not with Jason?" Gail asked smiling.

"Not with Jason." Elizabeth repeated thoughtfully.

"I'd say that's a good thing." Gail felt that the session had gone wonderfully. She only had one more thing. "And sex, you said you might want to talk about that?"

"I only have one question right now." Elizabeth had been wondering on this one for a while.

"I'll answer it if I can." Gail told the young woman.

"I know it it hurts the first time, but isn't it supposed to get better?" Right now Elizabeth had no clue why people liked it so much.

Gail had worried about this. She also wasn't surprised that Elizabeth was asking this question. "Did it hurt with both Kiefer and Lucky?"

"Yes." Elizabeth said quietly. "With Kiefer I didn't really feel like doing it."

"When you are with someone who cares about you and respects you it is wonderful. It doesn't hurt or make you feel dirty." Gail explained, hoping Elizabeth believed her.

"Do you think that person is Jason?" Elizabeth so wanted it to be.

"No one else can decide that for you. If he is, he will give you the time you need to make that decision." Gail watched as Elizabeth gave her words some thought. "Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

"Not right now." Elizabeth said still thinking about what Gail had said. She would be thinking about it for some time to come.

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