Chapter 11: JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE THINKING
(Ciels POV)
I walked to Elizabeths apartment with tears streaming down my face trying to choke back my sobs.
I knocked on the door. Only a light thump that was barely audible.
She opened the door looking confused. As soon as she saw my red, tear stained face she pulled me inside.
"Ciel… What happened? Come sit." She pulled me onto her bed and held me in her arms.
Silent sobs overtook me as Lizzy tried to her best to console me.
"I-I'm so stu-pid… I'm al-always pushing him away." I said through sobs
"Shhhh. I'm sure he understands. I'm sure whatever happened isn't as big a deal as you think it is." She rubbed her hand up and down my back in a soothing manor as she said this.
I clenched my fists so tight my nails dug into my skin. Blood dripped from the deep nail marks.
"Ciel you're hurting yourself! You need to take a deep breath and calm down. I'm sure everything's fine. But my new room ma-"
Lizzy was cut off as the door to her dorm flew open.
A girl with red, almost purple, hair came into the room carrying a suitcase. Her hair was up in pigtails, and she had thick glasses. She was wearing a short midnight blue dress. It was fitted at her waist line and flowed down to above her knee. The top came down low on her chest revealing cleavage, and it had slight short sleeves. She had on brown boots that came half way up to below her knees. They laced from mid foot to the tip.
The girl made her way over the vacant bed across from Lizzys. The one I used when I stayed over.
"Hi! I'm Mey-Rin! But you can just call me Mey! You must be Lizzy!" The girl supposedly called Mey-Rin hadn't even glanced our way. Not taking notice to the scene I was making.
I looked at her with a surprised expression. She was the distraction I needed to calm down. I had forgotten about Sebastian for a moment, and my crying subsided.
"Roommate?" I asked glancing at Lizzy.
Mey-Rin finally looked over, noticing for the first time me sitting on the bed in Lizzys arms.
"Ciel, this is my new roommate Mey. Mey this is Ciel." She said looking skeptical. She was trying to read my emotions to see if I would break down again.
I sat up and looked at Mey.
"Hi… um nice to meet you?" I asked rather than saying. She just looked at me.
"You are so adorable!" She squealed. "Are you single?"
Her question caused my eyes to fill with tears. I turned and put my head into Lizzys chest and let the tears fall.
Lizzy wrapped her arms around me in a protective hug.
"He is… having issues with his boyfriend." She put emphasis on the word boyfriend giving Mey-Rin a suggestive smile.
Mey had a surprised expression on her face.
"I'm sorry Ciel. If I had known I wouldn't have said anything." She walked over and sat on the bed next to me.
She leaned on me wrapping her arms around me. I flinched at the touch. I hated being touched by someone I didn't really know.
Except Sebastian…
I shook away the thought. I gave into the hug telling myself it was okay.
We sat there for a while in silence. It was almost nice.
All of a sudden Mey-Rin sat up throwing her hands up to her face. Knocking a few books that were on the nightstand over in the process.
"I think we should have a girls day!" She clapped her hands together.
A smile spread across Lizzys face in agreement.
"I think you have a good idea!" Lizzy said while squeezing me in her arms.
I wiggled out of her hold and looked at them with questioning eyes.
"What kind of a girls day... " I asked. Enthusiasm showed on my face.
"We can do whatever you wanna do! Though I do have some ideas…" She rubbed her hands together.
For the next six hours we watched every chick flick I had stored at Lizzys dorm. During which I explained to them my dilemma with Sebastian. I left out some details since Mey was there, but Lizzy understood. They tried telling me ways I could make it better. Afterwards it was still only about seven. We decided to skip dinner and gorged on junk food. We had massive amounts of chocolates and chips. Even some left over cake Lizzy had in her fridge. We spent the whole time talking about our most embarrassing moments. Mine mostly consisted of freaking out when someone tried to touch me. But Mey-rins were hilarious. She told us stories about the clumsy things she did. Especially on dates with guys. She had us laughing so hard I was crying, and Lizzy pissed herself. Twice.
After a long time of begging they convinced me to let them paint my nails. They chose a bright blue to match my eye. We ended the night with a fashion show. They got me to dress up in their clothes and I had to model for pictures. Honestly the last part was embarrassing, but I had so much fun that it didn't really concern me.
At around ten I decided it was time to go.
"Awww, you're not gonna stay over tonight?" Mey asked as she hugged me goodbye.
"No, I need some sleep. Plus I have to go meet my new roommate. Mines probably here too." I shrugged on my coat.
"Call me if you need ANYTHING." Lizzy hugged me goodbye before I walked out the door.
Once I was out of the door I was reminded of what had happened that day. My mood instantly worsened. I walked home with just me, and my thoughts.
(Sebastians POV)
I watched as Ciel ran from his own dorm with a panicked look on his face. After he was gone I sat on his bed thinking for a bit.
I wonder what made him like this. He is clearly keeping something from his past. That I know for a fact. But what could be so horrible? I wonder what happened to his eye… I wonder if he will ever tell me… I wonder if we will ever be close enough that he can trust me. That he can let me touch him…
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out to see I had gotten a text from my boss.
"Your late. Get your ass down here now."
You're
I mentally corrected her poor grammar. I sent her a quick reply saying I was sorry and would be there soon.
As I walked out to my car I got lost in thought again.
I know we haven't been dating for very long at all, but I feel so close to him, like I have known him my entire life. If he would just tell me what he's thinking. If he would just tell me what's wrong I would completely understand. Sure sometimes I can't help but want to undress him. But if he would tell me why he's so persistent on not doing anything of the sort I would understand. I don't get why he's so secretive. I mean yeah he was hurt and abandoned as a child so he can't trust easily. But I feel like he's not even trying…
As I drove into the parking lot to my job I couldn't help but feel depressed.
I walked into the tiny bookstore dragging my feet with my shoulders slumped. It was a new building, decorated with a modern feeling. It had a good selection of books. Constantly changing as new books came out, but there was an aisle kept just for classics.
We need to talk but I have the feeling he won't even be in the same room as me right now… why can't I just control my good damn impulses?
I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to force away the coming head ache.
"Well isn't someone in a horrible mood today." I looked up to see a scowling face.
"Claude, I really don't want to hear anything from you today. So please shut up." My coworker simply strutted away with the scowl still plastered to his face.
I made my way to the back of the store. I began organizing the books like I did every day.
I will call him as soon as I get out of work. Only four hours to go. If I didn't love to read as much as I do I would quit this bloody job. God damn Claude acting like he runs the place. Not that Hannah is any better.
A frown found its way to my face at the thought of my Boss.
I hope she's not here today. That would just be the cheery on top of this horrible day.
Throughout the remainder of my shift I was constantly being bothered by Claude and customers. The only place I found solitude was within my own thoughts. A certain male with milky skin and navy hair always came to mind.
Once I was back in my car I called Ciel. It went to voicemail.
"Hey… It's me Sebastian. I think we should talk. I want to apologize and I feel like we both have something's we would like to say. Call me or text me when you get this. Bye."
I waited and waited for a text or a call. But one never came.
By around ten o'clock that night I was done waiting. I decided to go for a run to relieve some of my tension.
I put on a pair of gray baggy shorts and a white tank top. I threw a black hoodie over it, and threw my phone into my pocket.
Once I got outside I noticed a light drizzle. I didn't mind much. It was relaxing running in the rain. The night air had a thick feeling to it. The sound of the rain hitting the pavement helped clear my head as I jogged towards the library. I felt calm and relaxed. The workout felt good on my muscles.
At that moment I noticed a crowd standing in front of the library. I jogged over to see what was going on. I only heard bits of conversations.
"He just collapsed…" One guy said.
"…So pale, and look at his…" A girl had a scared look on her face.
"His eyes look dead…"
I pushed my way to the middle of the circle. I had to hold back a scream when I saw what they were staring at.
On the floor lay a ghostly pale Ciel Phantomhive.