This is so stupid. Like, so stupid.

How is it possible to feel SO much in one kiss? Two kisses? I mean, is that actually possible?

I've kissed my fair share of girls and none have ever felt like Gabriella. Zero. Absolutely not one has given me the same feeling she gave me just now and it's scaring the hell out of me. What does it mean? Why am I feeling like all I want to do is run back over there and never leave her side?

THAT'S CRAZY.

It's absolutely crazy and it's making my head spin. I should be okay. I should be happy we kissed and that's that.

But all I keep thinking about is this electric feeling I got. My heart was racing. And it was, like... happy. My heart was happy? That's fucking weird.

True, though, I think. So true. Gabriella makes me happy.

And it's absolutely crazy because I've only been talking to her for a fucking week. A WEEK. Last Friday was the first time we hung out together and this Friday we went on a date together. So a week. A week and this girl's already got me feeling like she's the only one I want to kiss.

I had to shake it off. I can't be feeling this much, this early. No. It was a recipe for disaster.

10 minutes later, I was back at home and in the kitchen looking for something to drink in the fridge but there was absolutely nothing.

"What are you doing?"

Fuuuck. That scared me. "Nothing, just looking for something to drink."

My mom turned on the light and there she was, in her pajamas, looking all nice and cozy, "I went to Costco earlier and got some green teas and gatorades, they're in the pantry if you want that."

Oh, right on. I can go for a gatorade right now. "Thanks," I close the fridge and walk over to the pantry.

"So, where were you? You look a little overdressed for a party."

Ha. I do. But the restaurant was nice so I couldn't go in jeans and an old t shirt. But by no means was I dressed up. "I just went out to dinner."

My mom nodded as she made her way over to the counter and took a seat, "oh that's nice. Who'd you go to dinner with?"

I tell my mom everything. But lately, I've just been in this funk. I hardly like being home. I try to stay away from my parents at all costs and it's all because of fucking college. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it. And that's all they want to talk bout. That's all they care about right now. And it's fucking embarrassing because my brother, 2 years older, is off at USC studying to become a lawyer.

And here I am, pulling C's and B's.

I'm definitely the dumb child and although, they love that I play soccer, my dad is absolutely in love with the game, it's just... weird. I feel like I'm failing them in so many ways so the less I'm home, the better I feel. I just don't want to talk about anything with them which I know will be about college.

"This girl," is all I say and I know I'm being an asshole to my mom. So when I look up at her and her hazel eyes look sad, I give in. "Her name's Gabriella."

"Gabriella," she repeats with a small smile, "do I know her?"

I shake my head, "I don't think so. She goes to my school. She's cool."

My mom looks like she's happy I'm giving her something to work with. Because honestly, this is the first time in a couple of weeks that I've told her anything about my life. If I have talked to her, it's shallow shit. Things I need. Things about soccer. That kind of stuff. Never anything personal.

"Cool enough for you to finally settle down?"

"Mom, I'm, like, 18 years old. I'm not going to be settling down for a looooong time."

"No, no, that's not what I meant," she shakes her head, "I just... I want to see you with a girlfriend. Someone you can bring home and she can have dinner with us and stuff. That one girl that can make you happy and piss you off. You know... I want that for you."

I chuckled a bit. Piss me off? My mom's strange, but I love her. "It's too early to tell, mom, but she is cool. And not like any other girl I've met."

She looked intrigued, but I don't know if I can give her anymore. I don't want to give her anymore. I want to keep this to myself for a little bit longer. Who knows if anything will actually come of it. So I don't need my mom in my ear telling me shit about it.

"You're a good guy, Troy, you are," she tells me as she gets up off her chair, "don't get caught up in all the high school shit when it comes to girls."

I know what she means by that so I just smile and nod as she walks out of the kitchen.

And I just stand there, hoping to God that I don't blow this.

"Yo totally blew it today. I mean, you had it. You could have scored, but you passed the fucking ball to that guy!"

I rolled my eyes and grabbed the salt to sprinkle it over my eggs benedict. I know. I know I fucked up. "Whatever, Bri, we still won."

She laughed as she cut her pancake into little pieces, "yeah, but you could have won 2-0, which is so much better than 1-0, but whatever. I'm going to shut up now since I don't play the game so I have no idea what it feels like being on the field, in the game."

"Yeah, it's probably best for you to do that."

She glared at me as she shoved her pancake in her mouth, "shut up."

Briana Michelson is my sister from another mister. Or whatever that saying is. She's the sister I've never had. My best friend. All in one. And there's nothing romantic going on- at all. Not now. Not ever. No. We are WAAAAY too good of friends to even think that way. I've known her since I was 7 years old. There was no way anything was ever going to happen. And she feels the exact same way. We're just friends. Brother and sister.

She's really the only friend I have that's a girl. I don't have many friends that are girls. I mean, I do, but not ones I really hang out with one on one.

"So are you going to tell me about that date you went on or what?" she asks as she reaches for her iced tea.

"What?" I look up, surprised that she knows, "how do you..."

"Your mom told me," she cut me off, "this morning. She told me you went on a date with this girl and she's hoping it's a good thing and that hopefully she'll meet her soon and blah blah blah. All I could think about was how I was mad you didn't even tell me about it. So I barely paid attention to what she said."

Ugh. My mom. I mean, it's just Briana, I would eventually tell her, but I just wanted to keep this to myself for a bit. "Yeah, I went on a date."

She looked at me as if she wanted to kill me or something. And I didn't get it. I'm telling her right now! And she still looks pissed. "Who is this girl and why haven't you told me anything about it?"

"Because I just started talking to her, Bri. Literally. Like a week ago. And I don't know. It all kind of happened so fast."

"You like her?" she looks up at me with a smile.

I shrug. I honestly don't know if I like her. I don't not like her, though. I just, it means something to say you like her. "Well, I know that I'm definitely into her. I've really only hung out with her a couple times, but I can definitely see that happening. I mean, yeah."

Bri looked like she wanted to jump over the table and give me a big hug or something, but then her smiled faded, "please don't tell me this is another Megan situation because I remember having this talk then as well."

"No, no," I shake my head, "no. Megan and Gabriella are totally different. Way different. Gabriella's not some whore who fucks anyone."

"Troy," her face softens, probably feeling a bit bad for Megan, but whatever.

Okay, yeah, it was harsh. "Sorry, but no. They're different. I know they're different. And that's why I'm insanely attracted to her. She's just... she's a good girl. She's nice. She's beautiful. And smart. And I feel like she takes no bullshit and it's nice. It's very refreshing."

Bri smiled as she pushed her empty plate to the side so the waitress could clear it, "Well, I'm glad. I'm glad. I just hope you don't mess it up."

"What does that even mean?" I tell her, hearing my mother's word as well, "I've never cheated on anyone even though I've technically never had a girlfriend. I was all in with Megan. And so I don't get it."

"No, no, I'm not talking about that, I just... you go to school, you hang out with friends, you party, you play soccer. That's what you do. That's your life. And when you have a girlfriend, you're going to need to change that a bit. They're not going to want you to go to parties all the time. They're going to want to stay in and snuggle on the couch and watch movies and eat pizza and that shit. And I just... you want that?"

Kind of. I don't know. I'm not over partying, but I don't need it to survive. I really don't. It's just fun. It's fun to hang around friends and drink a beer on Friday night. "All I know is that there's no one else I'm thinking about other than Gabriella. And she's the only one I want to hang out with."

Briana smiled, like she was proud of me or something. "Good. I'm glad. And I hope it works out."

I hope it works out, too.

"Dude, you drinking?" Matt asks me as he hands me a beer, but I rebut it.

I wasn't drinking. I'm driving and I'm not really in the mood to drink, to be honest. "Nah, man, I'm good. Not tonight."

He shrugs, brings the beer back to him, opens it and takes a chug of it, "dude, you just missed the most epic fight. Dan Matthers and Chris Wicks were going at it. Some football thing, but it got pretty intense. Chris had to end up leaving because well, Dan and Leo are best friends, but it was insane."

Bleh. I wouldn't care to see that so I'm glad I wasn't here for it. "Whoa, that's crazy."

I had nothing other to say than that so I said it and then I made my way over to my friends who were in an intense game of beer pong and if you're not drinking at these parties then it's kind of boring. Not that you need drinking to have fun. But everyone else is drinking so if you're one of the only sober ones, it's lame. You can't have a normal conversation with anyone.

"Troy," I hear someone call my name.

I turn around and am face to face with Whitney Carr, a cheerleader from my school. "Oh, hey, Whit."

She smiles as she's holding on to a red cup, pushing her hair out of her face, "I just wanted to tell you good game today. I would have told you afterward, but you left pretty suddenly, I didn't have a chance to."

"What?" She was at my game today? "Oh, you were at the game this morning?"

"Yeah," she smiles, taking a drink, "yeah, my friends boyfriend plays the team you were playing. I thought you saw me walking out."

Um. No. I didn't. Which is weird. Whitney Carr is hot. I've always thought this. And we've never hooked up. She had a boyfriend for a year, but he didn't go to our school so it was as if she didn't. I noticed her. She was in my classes, but nothing just ever happened.

But now I'm getting the vibe she kind of wants to hook up. I mean, she's all smiley, she's standing here with a drink and telling me good game.

"Oh, well, thanks," I try not to mention that I, in fact, did not see her.

"Did you just get here?"

I nod as I look over at my buddies who are still playing an intense game of beer pong. And then I look back at her and she's just standing there. I think she wants me to say something else, something more, but I got nothing. I don't know what to say to her. I don't really want to say anything to her, to be honest because well, I have the feeling she wants more and I... don't. I don't think I do. No. I know I don't.

Because all I could think about is Gabriella. And how great of a time we had last night. And how I can't wait to see her on Monday.

"Well, I'm gonna go get another drink, but I'll see you later."

"Yeah, okay," I tell Whit feeling a bit bad about how I was being short with her.

But as hot as she was, as much as I think she'd be a really good kisser, I just... I couldn't. I didn't want to. And that's definitely a first which freaks me the fuck out. A little bit of me thought about it, but if that ever got back to Gabriella, or if it was talked about, I think my chances with her would be done. There's no way I'm taking that risk. Nope. Not after the night we had the other day. Gabriella over Whitney. Definitely.

As she walked away, I went back to watching this beer pong game and once they were all done, we all made our way towards the bar where they were getting themselves another drink. Ugh.

And as I turned around, I saw Grant walking in with some of his boys. Fuuuck. I hate him.

He went around saying hi to some people, girls, guys, everyone and I just wanted to wipe off that stupid smile on his face. I hated how we would show up to the same parties. I hated it. And it would always make me mad, but now, after knowing he went out with Gabriella, and what he said to me about her, I just, I can't stand it. I want to go over there and punch him. I can't ignore him like I used to do. But I'm going to have to. I want to ignore him.

But before I could even make my way inside where some of my other friends were, Grant came up to me.

"Bolton," he says, which I don't know why. We're not fucking friends.

"Hey," is all I say before trying to get out of his sight.

He laughs, his stupid laugh, and reaches for a beer that's on the bar, "you're running away again because you're that insecure to be around me?"

Fuck. don't say anything, Bolton. Don't say anything. He just wants a reaction out of you and that's what you're going to give him if you say anything at all. So just walk away. Walk away now. And ignore him. He doesn't matter. He's just jealous that he no longer has Gabriella.

Unless... he was the one that broke it off with her and she was actually bummed about it? Fuuuuck. I want to know. I need to know now.

"Grant, I'm not in the mood," I tell her, trying to push my way around him.

But he blocks me, "it's like you want everything that's clearly mine, but you're not going to have it. My position, my club team, and now Gabriella. Gabriella, who I'm eventually going to have, you know that, right? Because I seriously doubt she's head over heels... for you."

God, I hate him so much. How can anyone stand him? Like even as a friend? He's obnoxious AS FUCK. And I really, really just want to punch him.

I don't, though. I settled for a strong shove ans walk the fuck out of there as he continues to laugh.

It's dejavu. I'm leaving with him laughing there. And I'm heading to my car, angry and upset. Mad that's he kind of got to me... again. Fuck. Gabriella, she, she makes me feel good. She's smart, beautiful and put together and I'm just not. And his words are just echoing in my mind again. She's too good. She's probably not head over heels for me. And I'm not for her, either, but I know that she's definitely someone I want to be head over heel for.

And she's probably at her concert now having the time of her life, not thinking about me at all.

Of course she's not thinking about me, she hasn't texted me back all night.

I also hate how not only are Grant's words getting to me, but how they might be true. I mean, Gabriella did kiss me back and it looked like she enjoyed it, but everything can change as fast as it happens. You never know.

And I'm just... ugh. Fuck Giant. Fuck him.

Gabriella is too good for me. I know that. He knows that. Everyone else knows that.