Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight

Chapter 12: Realizing

BPOV

My blood ran cold as the warm mug slipped through my finger tips. He had found me. Did he want me to go home? I can't go home. I would do anything except that. I honestly can't take that anymore. Though, why is he here? He said he didn't love me anymore... want me anymore

But will I have to go home? I can't stay with the Cullens forever, and at the end of the day Charlie is my dad, no matter how much of a monster he is. Why couldn't I officially be part of the Cullen family?

Edward seemed to note my distress as my hands began to shake. I looked down and noticed their off-pale coloring. I could even see my veins through the skin. Calm down Bella, don't let it get to you, I thought to myself. Doing this will only mean more questions you don't want to answer. Despite my best efforts the shaking in my hands only seemed to get more violent.

"I-I'm sorry about s-spilling the drink, let me c-clean it up" I said without thinking. I made my way to sit up to get out of the room, but Edward grabbed my hips and pulled me further to his side.

"Don't worry about it Bella, accidents happen. Anyway I think someone is at the door for you" as he said as an enraged Charlie stormed into the room, stinking from head to toe of alcohol, as a slightly confused and outraged Carlisle followed.

"Oh did you whore your way into this house Bella? Hey? You already seem to be up close to that boy there" he slurred out. Automatically I began to try to get up from Edwards embrace, my cheeks flushing a painful red. Please Charlie, don't do anything here, just wait till we get home if that's where we have to go...

"Charlie, if you speak like that in my house hold I'm going to have to ask you to leave" said Carlisle in a stern voice, although looking over at him he seemed to be full to the brim with anger. I had never seen him angry, usually he was calm and peaceful, like a fathers meant to be. Whereas looking at my father, Charlie seemed pissed off, and slightly cocky. He was wearing clean clothes although they looked crinkled, and his jaw was smothered with long stubble. He had bags under his eyes, which only made them look darker, and even though he was standing up, he was slightly slumped to the side like in a drunken swagger.

"Oh what are you gonna do doc? Scare me off with a thermometer? Please... I could arrest your stuck up arse any day I wanted for kidnapping my daughter, bet that will look good down at the hospital doc, Mr. High and mighty is in fact a kidnapper." Sarcastically commented Charlie. How dare he say that? The Cullens took me in with no questions asked, I mean Edward found me in the middle of the road yet his parents took me in! I began to try to sit up but Esme cut in to, protect her loving husband.

"How dare you insult my husband like that Charlie! Yet alone use such crude language! Also we haven't kidnapped Bella, she is free to leave whenever she wants, and we are just looking after her. Surely you should be concerned about if she is ok as you haven't seen her for the last few days, also have you even noticed she is injured?" questioned Esme, her voice holding a cocktail of anger, outrage and motherly love. This woman never seizes to amaze me.

My mum was wonderful, although in comparison to Esme she could never seem as kind. I lived with her until I was 10, just after my birthday we were driving to the store to get some equipment for one of Renee's new phases; I swear she tried every craft and sport to exist. Although, we never made it there...

Flashback

"Mum, why can't we just stay at home today, I'm really tired" I moaned, snuggling myself further into the front car seat, swiveling so I was staring at my hair brained mother. Her light brown wind was swaying around her face from the breeze coming in from the car window, causing her hair to constantly stick to her lipstick.

"Bella you can't spend every day inside, the world is a beautiful place, there are so many things to do outside. And I think we can agree that you need to go outside more honey, you are quite pale for a girl living in Phoenix" trailed off my mother.

"Mum" I whined. Renee was always going on about my paleness, occasionally questioning if I was a ghost or at least related to her.

"What? I'm just saying if you get a nice tan then maybe some boys will notice you more, maybe then you can get a boyfriend..." my eyes opened wider in outrage as I sat up straighter.

"Mum I'm 10! And I'm not planning on getting a boyfriend till I'm at least older, like a lot older, you know 17 or something! Also not all relationships work out anyway" I argued. Although inside I knew I needed to at least get some proper friends before I got a boyfriend. It wasn't that I didn't have any, it's just I didn't have any close friends. I had girls who I knew I could team up with if I ever needed to go in groups or partners at school, although I honestly spent times like lunchtime with my nose in a good book, which had a world far more grown up than the activities of the playground.

"It was just a suggestion Bella; I swear sometimes you were born middle aged. Also just because mine and your father's relationship didn't work out, doesn't mean that you won't find the one someday Bella, and when you do I know it'll work out ok." I gave a little sigh as I looked at the road ahead, the sun was beaming down on the surface of it, and planted trees lined the edges.

Mum had never said much about my father. All I knew was that his name was Charlie and that he lived in Forks, which was apparently a rainy town somewhere in Washington. Whenever I had asked my mum about why she left him she always just said it was the right thing to do and went quiet afterwards. My dad was a touchy subject with my mum, so I tried to avoid it. But I couldn't help but be upset that I never had a father with me to teach me how to ride a bike, or to help me with my homework, or so I could even become a daddy's girl of all things.

I heard mum sigh as she took one hand off the steering wheel to take my hand in hers, giving it a little squeeze.

"Bella it doesn't matter that you haven't grown up with a dad, believe me it was for the best when I left him before you were born. He wasn't a nice man but that doesn't mean you aren't a kind little girl Bella, what your dad was like is completely different to you, you're my little girl Bella so trust me on that ok?" I turned to look at her once more. Her head was facing me and a small smile was on her lips, I don't ever think I have seen mum not smiling, her other hand was still resting firmly on the steering wheel.

"I love you twice as much to fill up the hole for your dad, and I will always, never forget that. You're my only child but I could never love anyone else more. Even when I'm old and in heaven I will still be looking down on my little girl, loving you as much as always". A tear spread down mine and mums cheek. She had never been so serious about anything in her life and it honestly touched me.

I looked straight up into her brown watery eyes and gave her the biggest smile I could muster. As I looked at her eyes closer I noticed the reflection of a car coming closer to us. The smile dropped from my face as I immediately swung my head around to look at the road in front. But I couldn't see any road, only a car being driven by a drunken looking man as his car was inches away from ours. I looked back to mum who as now looking out the window. She had a purely frightened look etched on to the features of her skin, her eyes were wide and her mouth was gaped open in shock. I felt the impact and glass shattering as a scream burned into my ears. The sound was pained and terrified and it scared me, it was like the sound of death and anguish thrown into one and amplified over a thousand miles.

I was thrown forwards before being swung back into my seat due to the seatbelt which had just pushed into my skin. I felt the glass shower and cut into my skin as I heard metal crunching. I could feel the air passing through my hair as the car started to roll. I was clawing desperately into my mum's hand, not able to let go of the one connection had to her through it.

Despite the pain, once the car was still I craned my neck to look at my mother, even though it caused strain in my bones. I only saw her sight for seconds, but I knew it would haunt me forever. Blood was raining down her face, staining it red. Her eyes were slightly open but glossed over. And her skin, her once tanned skin was as pale as mine.

I had to weakly look away, the sight was too painful. All I could hear was that terrible scream pounding into my ears, causing them utter pain and devastation; it was getting louder and louder, more desperate by the second. I couldn't move as I was trapped inside the car, I knew I shouldn't try to move, I had nowhere else to go. Instead I was forced to lie there, feeling blood drip down my skin as I felt my mother's hand go colder and colder, bringing tears to stream down my face. Only once the coldness of my mother's hand caused mine to become numb, it slipped from mine, losing the last connection to her I had. The only thing I could sense was the scream, tearing through the silence, somehow more pain struck then before. Only then I realized something.

The scream was mine.

My whole body shook more as the painful memory relieved me, I had promised myself that I had pushed it far away in my mind but it had come back to haunt me. I could feel my body getting colder and colder. My body was shaking terribly although I was confined in Edwards's strong arms. He was whispering soothing things into my ear although I only seemed to be able to hear Charlie's voice.

"Why should I be concerned? She is a worthless scum who is good for nothing. She probably deserves to be hurt, stupid girl. And yes I do know she hasn't been with me the last couple of days, the lazy cow, trying to get out of doing work at home. Instead you've been slacking off here instead, haven't you bitch?" he roared. I heard gasps around me from the rest of the Cullens due the language used by Charlie, although I was used to it, I was worthless to Charlie, no better than a servant. I could feel Edward shaking around me in outrage, slowly starting to squeeze me. I gasped in discomfort as his arms loosened around me. Though I noticed his breaths were still uneven and his eyes were... black?

"Charl-" started Esme but she was cut off by his infuriated voice.

"Oh shut up you stupid woman! What is it with women always moaning huh? All I want is my stupid bitch of a daughter to come home and do what she is told!" he began to storm towards me, I could feel fear of his touch burning up inside. All I could see was his blood shot eyes raging towards mine. His hand reached out and grabbed onto my arm, twisting the already bruised skin, causing me to give out a small cry in pain. I could feel him trying to pull me up of the sofa to go out of the house.

But then something inside clicked.

I didn't want to go with Charlie, so why should I? For years I have been scared of him, he has hurt me in ways I could have never imagined. Although now, I feel like I'm part of the family, I mean they have shown me more care and compassion in one second than Charlie has ever shown me in my whole life. I don't want to been weak; I need to be strong, to fight for myself.

But you're worthless, Charlie will always win.

How do I know that? I've got to try. I've let Charlie walk over me for too long. Maybe the Cullens will let me stay here for a bit, I don't want to feel like a charity case but they did say I can stay here as long as I want, I can do chores to pay my debt to them later. Although now I need to stand up for myself, I can't go back there.

"No" I said almost to myself, the word seemed to almost stutter through my lips.

"What do you mean no? You stupid girl" gritted Charlie through his teeth. He tried to pull be up once again but I tugged back with my arm this time, feeling slightly more confident even though inside I knew I was as scared as hell.

"I said no Charlie, I don't want to go." I stated.

"Don't say such silly things, your coming with me" he spewed out. As he tugged once again at my arm I pulled back, managing to release my arm from his grip. I immediately stood up, I suppose in an attempt to intimidate him but I knew that he still towered over me. Instead, I felt a sudden surge of power shoot through me, I could do this.

"I'm not going with you Charlie; you've over powered me too long. I know on paper I'm your daughter, but you will never be my father. I despise you and I'm not going to put up with anything from you anymore. You don't love me and I want you to leave. Now. Also, I never want you to come back, so get out!" I screamed the last part as a sudden sense of power flooded through me. I had stood up to Charlie finally!

But I replayed that in my head. I, had stood up, to Charlie. What have I done? If I have to go back with him then goodness knows what my punishment will be like! He will surely kill me?

You're not going to have to go home Bella, because you finally stood up for yourself!

I felt myself slightly panting as I looked up at Charlie. I could see some outrage on his face, although that was over shadowed by shock and slight be- wilderness. I saw Emmett walk up behind Charlie as my chest heaved up and down. Emmett tapped on Charlie's right shoulder, causing him to turn around even though he stumbled a bit on the way. Charlie gazed up and actually looked a bit intimidated by the sheer size of Emmett, who had a... proud? looking smirk on his face.

"You heard what the girl said. Get. Out."

Charlie turned around to share one last word

"Fine, keep the bitch, she's useless anyways. And don't come crawling back to me when this family realizes what a waste of space you are Bella, cause believe me, they will." He snarled, casting his gaze over the rest of the Cullens.

"Yeah, yeah of course we will chief, when pigs fly and the dinosaurs come back to kill us all" chuckled Emmett, who pushed down on Charlie's shoulder and lead him towards the door. Just as Charlie was about to leave the house he gave me a haunting death glare as Emmett gave him the shove he needed to leave.

"And stay out, ya heard" Emmett called from the doorway as he slammed the door shut, before coming back to the living room and wrapping his arms around Rosalie, who actually seemed to be giving me a slightly sympathetic smile. I then looked up at the rest of the Cullens. Their faces seemed to be matted with slight confusion and anger, which I can only hope was caused by Charlie and not me.

Though surely now the Cullens wanted answers. Who wouldn't if someone's father just walked in, offended their family, and called his daughter all of those things Charlie did. Although I know I can't tell them. Who would want me in their house after knowing what's happened to me? I'm disgusting... also it's too painful to relieve the memories, of what James did to me. Also I suppose in reality I have only known the Cullens for a few days, but it feels like forever.

That's it though, I have only known them for a few days yet I've caused them this much hassle, maybe they want to kick me out now. I wouldn't blame them...

"I'm so, so sorry about that, Charl-my dad was so mean and disrespectful to you, you must want me to leave, I'm sorry for the inconvenience I've caused you" I stuttered out. They probably did want me to leave so I began to make my way towards the door.

"Honey don't be so silly! What just happened wants us to make you stay longer! Not to make you leave. Like we said you can stay as long as you want, oh come here Hun." Esme said as she came over and pulled me into a motherly hug. I clung on to her as if my life depended on it, and breathed in her scent.

As we let go of each other I carried on speaking.

"You probably want to know what that was about, or know why I had to come here in the first place..." I trailed off; desperately not wanting to have to tell them just yet. This time it was Carlisle who answered.

"Bella that's up to you and in your own time, we don't want to force you into anything you don't want to do" he said with a caring smile. This time it was me who walked over and hugged him. As I did this I knew this is what a fathers hug should feel like. His embrace made me feel safe loved and wanted. I heard a few 'awws' as he wrapped his arm around my waist. This caused me to giggle and soon our precious hug was over. I knew that even though we weren't blood related, Esme and Carlisle were like the parents I always wished I had.

"Thank you, I don't know how long I need to stay here but it may be a while, though I promise ill pay my way somehow. Actually I need to clean up that hot chocolate..." I said trailing off, remembering that I spilt it in my panic from Charlie.

"No, you've done quite enough for today! I'll tidy it up dear; you sit down with everyone else!"Esme said as she ushered me towards the sofa, where there sat a smiling Edward.

"Its fine I can do it"

"No Bella, sit down, that's an order" argued back Esme with a chuckling motherly tone.

"Ok, ok" I said while sitting down in Edwards once again open arms.

As Alice and Emmett began to play with the remote again, flicking from channel to channel I felt a slight sense of déjà-vu from before Charlie came in. I felt somewhat lighter. I knew I was stronger and I was proud of myself for once it felt so right to be in a family environment, and it actually felt so right to be in Edward's arms.

I don't know what it is about Edward, but he makes me feel safe, he seems to care about me. And whenever I snuggle into his arms, I feel a slight tingly sensation. Edward is the one who found me that night, the one who saved me. All he has done is be nice to me, and though I now know what it's like to be lied to, I feel as if Edward is being honest, and truly does care. For me James... that sick and twisted person is a monster, although no matter what happens, I know inside Edward and the Cullens can never be monsters. They are far too kind to be monsters.

I don't know when but at some stage between Alice and Emmett arguing, and Edward stroking my hair whilst commenting on his siblings antics, I had fallen asleep and was being carried upstairs. I knew this because I was alone, that's why the nightmare came.

I was once again running through the forest. The trees seemed denser than before; my body was struggling to push its way through the foliage. The twigs kept poking and jabbing me, each giving me some sort of pain which caused tears to stream down my face, which were made to feel colder by the chilling nighttime air

Thump, breath, thump, breath

"Bella I can see you" he called. He was still there. Still chasing me. My heart was pumping furiously as my breaths became more desperate. I kept tripping but I couldn't let him get to me. I had to keep looking forward, but it was so dark I almost couldn't see. My muscles were weakening, screaming in desperation for me to stop but I couldn't

Thump, thump, breath, thump, thump, breath

I could see a clearing. I had to make it. He couldn't get to me. I pushed my legs harder, my arms pushed the branches out of my way faster, my breaths were getting heavier, my heart was beating quicker. This time as I was about to get free I fell, colliding with the harsh forest floor.

Thump, thump, thump, breath, thump, thump, thump, breath

The tears fell as fast as my hope did when the person chasing me harshly shoved me over to face him. His eyes burned into mine despite the blackness around us. James.

"Forget about me bella? It's not over yet"

I woke up screaming as I heard the door open and a pair of cool arms surround me, hands frantically stroking my hair and shushing me kindly.

James. He was still out there. Even though I felt like I had conquered Charlie I knew he would still be there. Even if I couldn't see him he would still haunt me in my dreams. I was weak when I was asleep. Would I ever be ok? Will he ever stop hurting me?

Once I had calmed down and Edward was sure I was ok, I set off on my own morning business, showering and changing. As I came downstairs though, I noticed a family of slightly nervous looking Cullens. I hope they're ok. Has something happened while I was asleep?

"Bella, can you sit down please, we would like to tell you something important" Carlisle said, breaking the silence.

I gulped as I made my way over to my usual spot against an agitated looking Edward, who immediately took my hand in his. I looked up feeling worried. Everyone was next to their respective partner on various sofas, and Esme and Carlisle were opposite me and Edward on the loveseat. I looked around desperate to know what was going on; even the usually jolly Emmett seemed to have a serious face.

"Bella, as you're going to be staying here a while, we need to tell you something... about our family"

AN

Looks like someone is going to tell Bella that the Cullens are vampires...

Also THANKYOU SO MUCH! :D I can't believe how many reviews I got last chapter, it is AMAZING, and I have to admit I even started to cry a little in happiness, it feels so good! Also I'm really happy you guys like the story that much, it seriously made my Christmas! :D you guys are so kind! Your reviews make me feel like I am actually a alright writer and that I'm doing ok with this story

Also I'm not going to have a reviewer of the chapter because I loved each and every one of them much! so thank you: Christa aka Crazy Twihard, beverlie4055, Queen Cupcake, thekatiemadeline, ardana, queen cullen0527, lily, jarjar, snowgoose, Ckid032393, Panda, biotech-gurl, musicalfan and danny!

But do you know what would be better, if we can get the same amount of reviews or more for this chapter :D let's see how many we can get before 2012, and how many we can get after! Also it did work, I updated quicker than usual, and it would have been quicker but I went away one night and it was Christmas :)

I still can't believe we made it to 60 REVIEWS! Can we please make it to 70 if that's not too much to ask? :)

ALSO HAPPY NEW YEAR, MAY 2012 BE THE YEAR BELLA FINDS HER HAPPINESS!