This story is based on the charaters from the movie The Princess Diaries and The Princess Diaries 2, which are property of Meg Calbot and Disney.

I made no monetary gain from this story.

This is my first storie so please, review and let me know your opinion.

Thank you so much.

Two days had passed since Clarisse had been in surgery and she still hadn't recovered her senses. The hospital was completely surrounded by Royal Guards and only the members of the Royal family and guards, as well as doctors could be found on the floor where the queen was. Joseph and Pierre were both sitting in her room, in total silence. Joseph was lost in thought, remembering his every step from the moment he left the helicopter to the moment where he went back in and she was barely alive.

Pierre looked out the window. For the first time, he doubted God. He had lost his father, his brother and now his mom was about to be taken away, lying in an hospital bed without regaining consciousness, waiting... Waiting for something to bring her back to life. The Beep of the machines mixed with memories of past times. Pierre and Philippe loved to cannonball into the pool, making everyone around dripping. Rupert never took part in that. He thought it to be useless and a complete waste of time. Clarisse sat on a chair, close to the pool, reading a book. She observed the efforts of the young ones wanting to make everyone wet. When they were about to leave, tired, she pretended to sleep and waited for the boys to jump on top of her. Their laugh was priceless. They were happy just to think they had been able to wet their mom. He was lost in his childhood memories. Then he looked at Joseph. For how long had this man loved the queen? How long had the queen loved him? Pierre had fun observing them. The discreet eye contact, the quick caresses when they thought nobody was looking...

The love between the Queen and the Head of Security was the worst kept secret in Genovia, but no one talked about it in the open. Apart from some rumor publications on the newspaper and some TV programs, it wasn't spoken. But everyone in the palace thought they made a fantastic pair.

Pierre went near Joseph and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Joseph... You haven't slept in two days. Please, go rest a bit. I'll call you as soon as we have some news. It's a promise."

Joseph looked at him in silence for a few seconds. The dark circles around his eyes showed extreme tiredness, He rose and, with a word, hugged Pierre with all his might. He took a deep breath so as to not cry. He stepped away from Pierre and looked down. Pierre was speechless. Joseph showed him a fragile side that he didn't know it existed.

"Joe... I..."

"Pierre. I have made my decision. I'll leave Genovia this afternoon. I... I can't continue... I dedicated my life to you and would gladly swap it for your's, without a doubt. But this I can't handle."

"What are you saying, Joe? You can't be serious!" Pierre stared to get nervous. Joseph was like a father to him. Besides, Clarisse wouldn't be able to be without him. "My mother won't let you go, Joe! You know that she-"

"Pierre, please. It's my fault that she is like this. Mabrey is right about that." Joseph could only look down. His tears had been released. "Alice was completely unbalanced and I should have seen that when she kissed me..."

"She kissed you?! Did you have anything with her?" Pierre walked to the window and gestures Joseph to follow him.

"No. Of course not. She kissed me so that your mother... Well it not matters. Truth is, she showed every sign. And I was too busy trying to fix everything between me and someone I truly like and missed them all!" Joseph went near the hospital bed and grabbed Clarisse's hand, kissing it slowly. He turned back to Pierre. "I only noticed how mad she was when I saw the barbaric way Mrs. Kont was killed. I can live with many things, but not with knowing that I couldn't avoid Her Majesty's suffering. And worst, having been the cause of it..."

"This is nonsense, Joe! You couldn't have avoided anything! This is ridiculous!"

"Pierre, please. There is nothing worst than an old man with a heavy heart..." Joseph left the room, looking at Clarisse once again and whispering, "Forgive me, my love."

Pierre stood by the window and tried to understand what had just happened. Joseph wouldn't do something like that... His life was between the palace walls. They were his family... He sat on the chair left vacant by Joseph and decided that on that night, he and Joseph would have a long conversation.

Joseph slowly walked in the palace. Each step was a goodbye, each wall had the echo of a memory, of her laugh. His tears clouded his vision.

"Don't make things worst for yourself, old man! You should have made this decision long ago. The brave, strong, careful man of another time was gone and she was the one paying for it..." He though. The pain in his chest was bigger than anything else he had ever felt. He would rip it out if he could. The guilt almost made him unable to walk, to breath. He felt dizzy, nearly passing out. After a deep breath, he went into his room. Without thought, without emotion, he packed. In under two hours his life was in those bags. He sat by the desk.

"My love,

As much as I wish, I can't find the words to ask for your forgiveness. I can't describe the guilt and shame I feel for not being able to defend you from the threat that was open for anyone to see.

I know that in your heart, you'll be able to forgive me one day. It's part of the woman you are. You're brave, smart, strong, loyal, kind, worried, but also beautiful, cute, sensual, provocative and sexy that I've ever met.

My god, how I wished to be part of your days. How I wished I could be by your side to see you smile, to see you succeed, to hear your plans or to simply walk by your side, in silence. How I wanted to be inebriated by your perfume, to feel my skin burn with your touch. You can't imagine the pain of not being near you. Of not being able to hear your voice, not being able to whisper your name, of not being able to caress you in my arms as we danced. Oh, God, what have I done? Clarisse, my love, forgive me! I love you with all my being and this love almost made me lose you forever.

I love you

Yours forever,

Joseph"

He carefully folded the letter, closed the envelope and kissed it, as if hoping this kiss your reach her. He then left the envelope in Clarisse's desk, grabbed his bags and left, without saying his goodbyes to anyone and ignoring the curious gazes from the staff as they passed him in the hallways. He got in his car and left the palace. The tears covered his face as he saw the palace getting forever smaller in his rear view mirror.

When he was nearing the border of Genovia, he called Shades.

"Shades..."

Shades banged on the door of the queen's room in despair.

"Come in." Said Pierre, remaining sitting down.

"Prince Pierre..." Shades was visibly upset and entered the room without any formalities.

"Just Pierre, Shades. Yes?"

"Joseph left the palace, Sir..."

"He did what?" Pierre raised himself immediately. He didn't know if he was angry or amazed. "How could he do that?"

"Sir… Joseph thinks the accident was his fault and no one has been able to convince him otherwise. Only Her Majesty… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say this..." Shades looked down and awaited Pierre's reprisal.

"Now, now, Shades, everyone knows how influential these two hard heads have on one another. Only they don't want to see it! I can't believe something like this. Where has he gone?"

"I don't know, Your- Pierre. I think he has family near that one big city near the border with us. But it's in a village and I'm sure exactly where. I have fifteen years of service in the palace and I only saw his take three days off… What should we do now?"

"Now? I don't know. I suppose he left you as Head of Security, right?"

"Yes..." Shades was embarrassed. Meanwhile, Mia and Charlotte entered the room.

"Uncle Pierre, tell me Joe hasn't left..."

"I'm sorry, Mia, but that is true. He believes this was entirely his fault and he can't deal with that."

Mia and Charlotte were speechless. As they tried to come to sense with Joseph's decision, Clarisse's machines went wild with noises and lights and in a flash, medical staff was entering the room and kicking them out.

The doctor's confusion and Clarisse's critical state were too much for Mia to handle. Joseph was a pillar in her life and her grandmother was someone she learned to love, to respect, and to admire. Suddenly, she found herself without both. Without being able to control herself, Mia started to cry compulsively. Her body shook with the cries of anguish. Pierre hugged her and tried to comfort her.

"Everything will go well, my dear. I'm sure of it!" Pierre kissed her forehead.

"I can't lose grandma, uncle Pierre. I can't..."

"That won't happen!"

Seconds later, the doctor entered the room and everyone turned and walked towards him.

"Her Majesty is stable again. We are still unaware as to what may have caused this sudden change is heart beat, but right now, everything is well. We just need to wait for her to regain her consciousness."

"But why does grandmother remain unconscious?"

"We don't know, Your Highness. We believe the trauma and exhaustion are the causes, but we don't know anything for certain."

"Joseph, come have lunch! It's the third time I've called for you! You need to start eating well, it's been two weeks since you arrived and you've lost weight, you're pale and barely speaking! You don't even smile! I'm your mother, you can talk to me about anything! What's the matter? It's her fault, isn't it?"

Joseph raised his eyes and shook his head.

"Sorry, mom. I can't talk about it yet… Let's have lunch then." Joseph raised, put his arm around his mother and without more words, headed to the kitchen. When he was about to sit down, he felt the phone vibrate and left in a hurry when he saw Charlotte's name.