Felt like posting today as I don't know how my Tuesday or Thursday is going to look.
As always thank you for the reviews, follows, and favorites.
Vanessa didn't even spare Jax a glance as she looked at her buzzing phone and proceeded to leave the room. Like they both knew, identity unknown to Jax, it was Heath calling. The call went to voicemail and she was surprised to see she had 10 missed calls from him along with 10 texts.
She walked further down the hallway and eventually found a bathroom where she locked herself in the handicap stall. She even turned on the sink as if someone walked it the water would drown out some of the conversation she knew that might not be pleasant. Or better yet, if Jax sent a prospect to have their ear to the door.
Vanessa unlocked her phone and pressed the call back button. He answered his phone on the first ring.
"Are you okay? I heard what happened to Abel." Heath said with clear sadness and worry in his tone.
Vanessa leaned against the wall as she looked up at the white ceiling. "Yeah, it was just an episode with his heart. He is doing fine now."
"God, I'm so sorry. I should have never messed you-"
"Heath, it's over." Vanessa said cutting him off and on both ends of the phone there was complete silence besides the water running from her end.
"What?"
Vanessa took a deep breath as she began walking in a circle in the spacious stall. "I think it's time we ended this. I don't think I can give you what you need or want. I know I'll only hurt you in the end. You've been such a good friend – support – "
"Vanessa, stop." Heath said blankly and she did as she waited for his words. She heard him sigh a couple of times before he seemed to compose himself. "He found out, didn't he?"
"That's not the point, Heath. He has nothing to do with this." Vanessa said deflecting as the words were some version of the truth. Despite Jax's reaction, all him doing finding out was a catalyst to what she had been feeling lately regarding Heath.
"He has everything to do with this," he argued. "Did he do anything to you?" He suddenly asked and Vanessa was slightly pissed and concerned that a lot of people were assuming Jax would become violent with her.
"No," the disgust was clearly heard at the accusation. "He didn't and he would never do that to me."
Heath released a humorless chuckle. "You're going back to him aren't you?"
"It isn't like that." And frankly it wasn't any of his concern.
"So tell me what was it like?" He asked sarcastically. "I know he is probably pissed and frankly I'm surprised he isn't breaking down my door." Vanessa was silent on the other end as she didn't want to confirm or deny it, but her silence gave him his answer. "He doesn't know it's me does he?"
"Heath, can you not make this any harder than it needs to be." She pleaded softly.
"Can we at least talk in person?"
"Not now," Vanessa informed before she promptly hung up her phone and turned off the faucets.
She looked in the mirror and she wished she had some makeup because she looked pale and exhausted. She looked terrible and felt even worse. But to cover her tracks she deleted her call log of all Heath's calls and his thread of text messages.
She walked back to Abel's room, where Thomas was up and in Jax's lap doing his favorite hobby and pulling on Jax's beard. Every time Jax would make a pained face, Thomas would erupt in giggles.
"Why do you like hurting daddy so much?" Jax asked innocently to his son.
"You make silly faces." Thomas pointed out before giving Jax a hard tug.
The door closed softly, but it was enough to grab Thomas' attention where he scrambled off Jax's lap and immediately into her arms.
"Hey baby," she said softly as she pressed a kiss to his head. She deliberately tried to ignore Jax's gaze on her figure.
"Can we draw some pictures for Abie, mommy?" Thomas asked.
"Of course, sweetheart."
Thomas wiggled out her arms while he went over to the couch and unzipped his backpack that held his crayons and blank sheets of paper.
Vanessa sat on the ground next to her little boy who was giving her some paper before he looked up at his father and asked expectantly. "Are you going to color too, daddy?"
Vanessa risked a glance at Jax who seemed genuinely surprised by the request, but made his way over to the small table as she sat down on the ground. Thomas was positioned between them.
Vanessa and Jax both put on a brave face and marveled at the picture Thomas was drawing, which was a rendition of a family portrait. Vanessa's heart crumbled just a little.
Thomas was putting the finishing touches on the picture while Vanessa was drawing a rather poor rendition of a dog and she seen Jax was actually drawing a decent sketch of a bike when a small moan reached their ears.
Vanessa immediately abandoned coloring as she all but ran over to Abel. She could see his eyelids fluttering before she was looking at the same shade of blue eyes that he inherited from his father.
"Abel, baby, mommy, daddy, and Tommy are here." Vanessa said softly as her son turned his head towards her voice.
"Mommy…daddy?" Abel said softly.
It was only then she felt Jax's presence beside her where he was holding Thomas who was itching to hug his brother.
"We're here, baby." Vanessa said through the relief that was taking over body as she leaned down and pressed a kiss to Abel's head. As she pulled back she made sure to wipe the tears that she felt spilling.
"Can I give Tommy a hug?"
Vanessa looked at Jax who had a smile on his face as he looked down at Abel. "Of course, buddy."
Vanessa moved back from the bed as Jax leaned down and Thomas and Abel hugged each other tightly.
"I drew pictures for you Abie." Thomas announced to his brother. Vanessa didn't even comment on it as Jax placed Thomas on the bed with Abel mentioning he needed to be careful. She smiled at the sight of her two boys and was surprised when Jax pulled her into him, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
After Dr. Namid came in and checked over Abel giving him and Vanessa in layman terms about where to go from here as in making sure Abel was taking his meds, and saying in front of Abel that he would have to stop playing soccer which ended in a hissy fit, Jax had excused himself and informed the guys and his mom about Abel being awake then he made his way outside to smoke a cigarette.
He felt he could breathe a little bit easier now that Abel was awake and fine. But the state of his marriage was totally something different.
"You hit her?"
Jax jumped at the sound of Opie's voice. "Of course not." He said insulted at the insinuation. Jax felt himself going sick if he thought people would think he would put his hands on Vanessa or any women.
Opie accepted the answer. "You know who it was?"
"I have my suspicions." Jax said and he didn't know if he wanted it to confirm.
Jax could admit he was possessive and protective over Vanessa. He thought when he was 16, he knew what love was. With Tara, he loved her and at a point he thought it was that crazy suicidal love where if they were apart for a second, he would go crazy. When she left him, he thought he knew what heartbreak was. He remembered it being more like devastation and he thought his world was going to fucking end being the melodramatic teenager he was.
But this…Vanessa was a whole another level. It wasn't as if she left him yet. It was the thought of her living her life without him that gutted him.
Just the idea of any man knowing his wife intimately made him want to go on a goddamn killing spree Tig and Happy would wish they could be able to partake in. It was gutting him knowing that someone knew what she felt like – tasted like. Someone knew all the sounds she made and what spots elicited toe curling reactions out of her.
Jax felt his heart was literally being torn in half.
A very small part of him thought it wouldn't hurt as bad if he knew it was just sleeping around on her part. A part of him believes for her it was probably sleeping around, but knowing Vanessa there had to be some emotional connection. And he had to keep chanting to himself in his head that he was guilty of doing the same thing to Vanessa, without any emotional connection. It was part of the reason why everything was in the shitter.
But the one emotion he felt that he didn't think he had ever felt before was betrayal. Because he knew that a relationship had probably formed between her and this man, who he was pretty sure he knew who it fucking was.
But he guessed he knew what it felt like.
Vanessa wrote some notes for the substitute teacher in her lesson plans as she got things ready for her week absence due to Abel's hospital visit. Abel had gone home yesterday and that meant Jax was now back in the house for the whole week surely. Vanessa had her theory that after that he was most likely going to be back in the house permanently.
Since Jax found out, if it didn't have anything to do with the boys, they didn't speak or glance in each other's direction. And she had the prospect trailing after her like a shadow again.
So she was surprised Rat Boy let anyone in the room. She had colorfully organized the packets she wanted passed out to her students when Heath had entered the room. She had purposefully been ignoring all his calls the past three days and she really did not want to talk to him despite the fact they needed too.
Her eyes flickered to Rat Boy who no doubt knew the man was Abel's former soccer coach.
"Can you give us a minute?" Vanessa asked as she looked at Rat Boy who looked like he was going to refute, but got up from the desk he was lounging in and walked outside the classroom. She was grateful he at least didn't have his kutte on. She walked to the door and closed it and didn't miss how Rat was on his phone no doubt texting Jax that she was talking to someone of the male species.
"Are you okay?" Heath asked once the door was firmly shut.
Vanessa nodded her head. "Abel's fine so that is all that matters."
Heath pursed his lips in a thin line and put his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. He moved closer to where she was standing which made Vanessa walked back to her desk to put some distance between them and grabbed her messenger bag. "Look, I'm sorry – "
"Is Jax forcing you into taking him back and to do this?" His voice was sad as he asked. There wasn't any malicious just despondency.
Vanessa's grip tightened on her bag slightly as she felt like an asshole and a terrible human being. "Jax isn't forcing me to do anything, okay. What was going on between us…I wasn't right for starting anything with you."
Vanessa watched as Heath's face turned blank and a hard cold look overtook his eyes any sadness or amiability disappears. "So you were just using me?"
Vanessa opened her mouth to refute as it wasn't her intention, but it was just how it played out in the grand scheme of things. She shook her head as she tried to find the right words. "I – "
Heath cut her off as he moved closer to her, "I bet you wanted Jax to find out. You just use people like lying cheating thug of a husband."
Vanessa ignored the sting of her hand as she took in satisfaction at the red mark that was on his cheek.
It was only a millisecond later when the classroom door burst open. "Everything okay in here?" Rat asked as his eyes narrowed on the red mark on Heath's cheek.
Vanessa grabbed her purse and bag and didn't even glance in Heath's direction as she left. "Everything is just fine."
A month later
Vanessa was flipping pancakes on the griddle while she tried to cheer up her baby boy. Since his stint in the hospital, his moods had rivaled Jax's, especially since he wasn't able to play soccer for the rest of the season. Then his teachers had commented that his sour mood followed him from home to the classroom.
Thomas, of course, was a whole different issue. He was still the happy go lucky kid and was marveling in the fact his dad was home every day and surprisingly Jax made it home for dinner every night.
"I don't want to go to school." She heard Abel mumble from the table.
"Abel it's only Sunday. You still have a whole day to enjoy." She said glancing back to him where he was scowling at his glass of orange juice.
Vanessa turned her attention back to the pancakes that she knew wouldn't make her boy happy. "Do you want to help mommy set the table?"
Abel didn't verbally reply, but he got up from his set and carefully grabbed the utensils and plates she had setting on the counter.
She was placing the food on the large platters in the middle of the table when she heard the sound of two distinctly different footsteps coming down the hall. Vanessa heart instinctively began racing and her stomach became queasy.
With the month that had passed, there was no leeway with her and Jax's relationship. She most definitely was walking on eggshells around him.
As Thomas came into the kitchen, she went through her normal routine of giving him his morning kiss and hug while Jax gave Abel a kiss on the head. She would also help Thomas into his chair at the table. Jax would pour himself a cup of coffee that she had ready for him in the pot before he would take a seat while he waited for her to be finished with cooking.
Then they would eat. The boys ran most of the conversation as they made Jax promise to take them to various things. She watched with her usual sad strained smile.
She was cleaning the kitchen while the boys were watching cartoons. Jax disappeared to the back of the house to get dressed for the day. Despite the stunted conversations it seemed like a better morning than most. She was drying some dishes when Jax came back into the kitchen and stood at the counter opposite from her with his arms crossed.
"I have to go on a run for a couple days. I was trying to put it off, but it needs my attention."
Vanessa didn't say anything, but nodded her head understandingly. She knew considering he was home at reasonable times that he must have been placing some of his responsibilities as President unto other members. She placed her towel down and turned to her husband who didn't even try to hide he had been burning a hole in her head. "Do you need help packing?"
"Nah, I'm already packed."
"Okay." She said before she turned and began wiping down the kitchen sink.
He stood behind her for a few seconds before he headed into the living room to say goodbye to the boys and promising to bring them back a souvenir. She watched as both Abel and Thomas squeezed him tightly as he placed a kiss on their heads before he got up and headed to the door.
Vanessa walked to the doorframe and softly called out Jax's name which caused him to stop and look at her with a curious expression. She managed a semblance of a smile. "Have a safe trip."
He gave her a nod of the head before walking out the door.
Thanks for reading!