I am REALLY sorry for taking this long, but a lot happened this week. Also, I was a bit thrown over the whole finale thing. So much stuff that left me going WHAT?! But, anyway. I hope you enjoy this! Some Derek and Stiles interaction, mostly.

Also, in this, Gerard didn't have cancer. It's something else.

Pale Horses

Something Shifts

When he wakes up, he's alone. The only way Stiles knows that, though, is because everything is silent and unmoving, and he figures that, had he been sleeping on Derek, as he had been before, it wouldn't be so quiet. And before he can get pissed about being left alone in the room, he takes a second and realizes that Derek, before leaving, has arranged a whole lot of pillows to support Stiles up, while still making him comfortable, in the exact same position he had fallen asleep in.

Okay, so he could show a whole lot more consideration than Stiles could ever have thought Derek Hale was capable of showing.

And he has to admit, even if only to himself, that he's very, very confused. You see, Stiles is very used to not dealing with things – feeling-related things. When he's upset he finds a tangible reason to be upset, something physical, something that can be fixed. Usually, this allows him to deal with the real stuff slowly and gradually, and actually simply accept them in his life without having to freak out about them. Like he did with Scott and his being a werewolf thing, like he tried to do with himself and his being a werewolf thing.

But he knows he can't do that with Derek and whatever it is they are having right now. And at the same time, he can't bring himself to deal with it.

He feels comforted by Derek, he feels at home, as if he's safe and sound around him, and, at some level, he knows these feelings are reciprocated. They are good together. They can work together, just like Stiles was thinking last night – they are, actually, great together.

The Alpha and the Mate, making their pack work.

Alpha and Mate.

Fine. He can handle that. It's… fine.

What he doesn't want to think about is, you know, Derek and Stiles. Because while as wolves he can find his position with Derek instinctually, he has no idea of how to deal with Derek – human Derek, person Derek, the Derek he'll have to deal with when things aren't going completely insane around his town; something they'll hopefully achieve soon, as soon as Peter and Jackson and Lydia are dealt with.

At least Gerard is down.

Looking at his window, he can see the sun shining through the curtains merrily – it must be at least noon, and he realizes he's slept through the whole night. He's feeling much better than before, but still a bit achy.

Sitting up, he yawns and stretches, feeling his back getting into place, as if he was half way through wolfing out – or maybe he just slept in a really weird position. He hears noise downstairs, low and quiet, but he can hear them, and so he decides to go there to see what's going on in his house.

And what's going on is Derek cooking.

He stops by the door to the kitchen and leans against it, feeling completely confused.

"Not a word." Says Derek without turning from the sink where he's dicing something, and Stiles chuckles a bit.

"I wasn't going to say anything." He replies, and hears Derek snorting, "I wasn't! I was just going to… ah… ask where's dad and why are you cooking?! Oh my god, Derek, I had no idea you even knew how to turn on the stove!" He ends up saying, because he can't help himself.

Derek looks at him over his shoulder with an unimpressed look, and Stiles tries to stop smiling, he really does, but he can't.

"Your dad went to the station. The investigation on your kidnapping is a bit messy, because you haven't yet given a testimony. I asked to stay, because I don't think it's safe for you to be alone. As you didn't eat dinner, your father made me promise I'd feed you something, hence me, cooking."

Stiles stares at him for a while, his mouth half open, and then he shakes his head.

"You know, you should have gotten a mate sooner."

"What?" Derek growls and Stiles simply shrugs.

"Just saying, man, you're a hell of a lot better now, when you do the whole putting sentences together thing, instead of the stares and the growls."

Just out of spite – or at least that's what Stiles thinks – Derek growls and stares at him.

"Just saying!" He repeats, raising his hands, "I'm going to go and take a shower, I smell like a hospital." He says, turning around and going upstairs again.

Half an hour later, when he gets to the kitchen again, the food is on the table, and two plates are on it too. Derek looks at him and sits down, Stiles copying him a second later, and they put food on their plates and start eating.

And damn, isn't this just the most awkward thing they have ever done together, or what?

Stiles bites his lips, looking up at Derek while trying not to look as if he's looking, and Derek catches him right on, raising an eyebrow.

"The food is… very good." He says with a small smile, and Derek looks at him, as if he's trying to decide whether Stiles is mocking him or not, "Seriously, it's very good. I can cook, dad can too, but we're too lazy to do it most days, so we end up eating junk and take out, and this is really good." He takes another bite just to stop talking and Derek keeps on looking at him for a few more seconds.

"Thanks." The man eventually says, and Stiles smiles at him nervously.

There's something very wrong with this. How come they can make out like crazy, and fight like the best of them, and face life and death situations together, but they can't eat lunch without feeling like a war is about to begin? Stiles wants to say something, but he can't think of anything. The conversation from last night is ringing in his ears, and he feels as if he talked too much and yet not enough. It's like they have this immense barrier between them that can only go away if one of them is almost dying or being hunted down.

He is opening his mouth to ask Derek to talk to him when the Alpha beats him to it.

"I called the pack, they'll be here after school for us to talk about the whole Gerard situation. Scott swears the man was taking some very suspicious pills that Deaton thinks might have something to do with his condition. The vet is already taking a look at them, and Scott will swing by when the others are here to let us know what he found out."

"Okay." Stiles says, looking at Derek and then at his food again.

What is he supposed to do here? Derek is staring at him as if he is expecting something, and Stiles doesn't know what it is.

"He came by, after your dad left." Derek says, scrutinizing Stiles still. The boy looks at him, a bit confused.

"Who? Scott?" Derek nods, "Oh. What did he want?" he asks more to have something to say than anything else, because, well, maybe Scott is finally trying to do what any good friend would do, and came by to see him.

"He asked to join our pack."

Stiles almost chokes on his food, and actually coughs a few times before looking at Derek with wide eyes.

"Are you serious? Is he serious?" He asks incredulously.

Derek nods again.

"I couldn't sense any lies in him, he really wants to be a part of our pack. Your pack, actually."

Stiles swallows and takes a drink of water before speaking, because, what the hell?

"What are you going to do?" He asks, and Derek looks at him as if he's annoyed at Stiles.

What did he do, damn it?"

"What do you want to do, Stiles? It's our pack." He bites out, and Stiles stares at him, intrigued. Okay, maybe this is some answer, right there, he just has to translate it from Derek-speech to Stiles-speech.

"You want my opinion?" he asks, and Derek doesn't even bother answering, just continues to stare at him as if Stiles is an idiot, "I think we should talk to the rest of the pack before deciding on anything. You know Scott is actually very good at the whole werewolf thing, he has more contact with Deaton than any of us, he could be useful. But if the others can't trust him, then I don't see how we would accept him, right?" He says, looking down, unsure of himself, because this is huge. He doesn't want Scott to be an Omega, with Peter lurking around, and Jackson being a killing lizard, but he can't just say 'hey, let's take him in', as if he was a cute puppy, because it wouldn't be right.

They are a pack. They should make these decisions together. When he finally gathers his courage enough to look up, Derek's face's changed again – he's looking relieved. As if this was a test, and Stiles had just aced it.

"Were you testing me?" He asks, a bit indignantly, because come on.

"Maybe." Derek says, getting up from the table, and putting his dish in the sink. Stiles temper flares and he has to let go of the glass he's holding before he breaks it.

"Why are you doing this? What the hell, Derek?"

"I have to know, Stiles. He was your priority for so long, and now we have to be your priority, our pack. I had to know." The man turns from the sink and faces Stiles, who gets up from his place, completely pissed – way more than he thought he could get.

"And it is! I submitted to you, I trust you, and I'm here, and you're testing me?" He stares at Derek, and sees something flicker in his eyes, and gets the suspicion that that wasn't a test for the pack's benefit, "Was this a test?" He asks again, coming closer to Derek, "Was this a test for the good of our pack? For us all? Or was it for you, Derek? Are you feeling threatened by Scott?" He hisses, standing right in front of Derek.

"I do not feel threatened by a pup." Derek says, low and dangerous, and Stiles is even angrier at that.

"Well, I'm older than that pup. Are you going to simply disregard me too?" He says angrily, coming even closer to Derek, and the man is suddenly turning away, going to the other side of the kitchen so fast Stiles almost gets whiplash.

"It's different." He says, his voice calmer, and he runs a hand over his face, as if gathering his strength, "You should rest. The meeting will tire you out later."

"No." He answers, and he knows it's stupid and childish. He is tired, and he is aware that he'll get tired, especially if he'll have to deal with Scott and the pack all at once, but he doesn't want to do something just because Derek tells him too.

He wants… he wants Derek to make him do it.

"What the hell?!" He says, a little scared at that thought, looking at Derek, completely confused.

The man sighs, but keeps his distance.

"You're challenging me. I haven't claimed you, you were in danger, your wolf is reacting to it, and it's trying to make me prove to you I can take care of you. It's trying to get me to make you trust me again." Derek explains, and Stiles thinks about it, and it actually makes sense – he's trying to bait Derek ever since he saw the man.

"I do trust you." He whispers, because he does. He truly does. Derek has to believe that.

"Your wolf doesn't." Derek answers, looking down, and Stiles feels his heart break a little, because Derek is thinking Stiles' wolf is right, Stiles is sure.

"Then my wolf is stupid." He says annoyed, and he goes to Derek, who looks like he wants to turn away, but makes himself stay still, "Derek, I need you to believe me, I trust you. I wasn't thinking before, and, honestly, I don't think my wolf is having trust issues." He says, and Derek stares at him, brooding and quiet and moody, and Stiles wants to laugh at him, but he doesn't.

"Why were you so irritated, then?"

"Because you implied I would put my own needs in front of the pack's. And that's annoying. Also, you called Scott a pup. I'm his age. I'm not a pup. I'm your mate." He says, his eyes flashing, and he's backing Derek up a wall – he knows the man could turn the table any time, but he's letting Stiles take the lead for a while, "This has to work, Derek. We have to make it work." He says the last part desperately, because he doesn't know what he'll do if Derek isn't… here, with him. Handling things with him.

"That is your wolf talking." Derek says, looking at Stiles, and the boy growls at him.

"Stop saying that! Do you make a difference between who you are and who your wolf is? Because that would explain a lot, no one can live thinking he's two different things, Derek. I am what I am, and a week ago I was a teenager with a shitty best friend and ADHD and an unrequited crush on the most popular girl in school, and now I'm a werewolf mated to the most ansgty of all wolves, but that is going to be who I am all the time. I can't deal with this if we're going to do the whole my wolf is into yours, but I'm not. Do you not like me? Do you not want to be with me? Because if you don't, then we won't make this work."

"I don't separate myself and my wolf, Stiles, I was born like this. But you weren't, and it takes time…"

"Maybe other people take time, I don't!" Stiles interrupts him, "Derek, if this is going to happen, if we're in this forever like you implied, this has to work with everything. Your wolf and you and me and my wolf, we have to be two people, and that's it. I can't be two different things. If I'm with you, then I'm with you. I don't know how to handle the whole I'm with you because of my wolf but that's it. I can't, and I don't want to."

He stares at Derek but the man doesn't react. He just looks at Stiles, and suddenly Stiles realizes what he's done – he's issued an ultimatum in their four day long relationship.

And, Derek, apparently, isn't as enthusiastic about being with Stiles as Stiles is with him.

Stiles doesn't say anything, he just feels as if the floor has been swept under his feet, and then he gets away from Derek and walks towards the stairs, going to his room.

Derek stays behind.

Well, that was enlightening. Derek wanted his wolf, but had no interest in him, of course. It's not like Stiles has a lot to offer in the relationship department, anyway. He lies down on the bed, face first, turning on the radio, just because he doesn't want to be in silence, and does his best not to try to listen to what is going on downstairs – if Derek is leaving, or whatever.

It's fine.

Their wolves are mates, it doesn't mean that human-person-Derek will ever want him.

And yet, Derek says he doesn't separate who he is.

What the hell?

He closes his eyes, and tries very hard not to feel completely rejected. But, come on, what is he supposed to think? What is he supposed to do, exactly? When this mess is over, what'll happen then?

Actually, what happened to the whole I feel very strongly about him? Very strongly like sending him away at first chance actually.

He shouldn't even be feeling so bad about this, damn it, he had more important things to think about, like the pack meeting, and Peter Hale, and Lydia and Jackson.

Not romancing Derek Hale.

He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.

Maybe, just maybe, he should go see a therapist, because the whole I can handle it is getting harder and harder.

He hears Derek's breathing way before he hears his voice.

"I thought you'd be scared about this. That you wouldn't want it."

Stiles open his eyes but doesn't get his head out of his pillow.

"I don't know if I want to have this conversation right now, Derek."

"And more than you wanting it, you are seventeen. I'm older than you by a lot. That matters." Derek continues, as if Stiles hadn't said anything, "Also, I really didn't know you would be so calm about this, so accepting. I was expecting a huge freak out about being my mate, Stiles. You don't like me."

"I didn't. Now I do." He says simply, and Derek sighs, a bit annoyed.

"Because of your wolf." He says, and Stiles turns around in bed, lying on his back, and staring at Derek.

"No, you moron, because you are here. Do you have any idea what it's like for me to know you have my back? That you'll help me? That you trust me to make the right decision with the pack? Even before this whole mess, Derek, I didn't hate you. I wasn't fond of the way you seemed to dismiss me, but I didn't not like you. I was… jealous. I thought for a while you would steal my best friend away from me." He laughs a bit bitterly, "Turns out you didn't have to, he'd leave me on his own."

"I never dismissed you, I just didn't want you to get hurt. I could feel what you were, Stiles, and it scared the hell out of me." Derek says, a note of desperation in his voice, and his whole face is a mask of it – he's open and raw and afraid, and Stiles has never even thought he could be like that, let alone think he'd be allowed to see it, "I've lost everything once. Having you there, beside Scott when he was trying to be an Alpha, even if he didn't mean to, it killed me. Because you could be a Mate, my Mate, and I couldn't take it. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve everything you are, and the good you'll do for our pack. I don't."

Stiles is staring at Derek, his mouth hanging open, because he doesn't even know where to begin to think about it.

What the hell?

"So, yeah, I pushed you away, and I threatened and I growled, because if you didn't like me, then, well, I could never, ever, even think about claiming you."

"Well, it didn't work, sour wolf. I'm Alpha proof. And I do like you. But I can't manage this hot and cold thing, Derek. I'm not asking you start writing me poems, mainly because you'd suck at it, but if we're in this, we're in this all the way. We're not in this when your wolf thinks so, or when I feel like it. We are together then we are together. I'm not in love with you, I know you're not in love with me, it's too recent, but I need you to tell me now if this could happen, because I don't want to keep hoping if you're never going to give me anything back."

Derek stares at him for a full minute before answering.

"Do you think you could fall in love with me?"

Stiles shakes his head, and sits up in bed.

"You know I could. I will, probably. Which is why we're having this very awkward conversation. Actually, to be completely honest, I'm just waiting for you to tell to get over myself, and say you won't love me, ever, just so I can deal with that as soon as possible, and try to understand what life will be like, seeing that as far as I got this, we're kind of stuck forever."

Derek doesn't even answer, he kind of pounces on Stiles, and he's kissing the boy with urgency and longing, and everything Stiles never thought Derek would want from him. It's fast and hard, and yet careful, because Stiles is not over his injuries yet, but Derek kisses him, on the bed, holding his own weight on his arms, careful not to hurt Stiles.

"You're mine." Derek says, and Stiles smiles, because that, in Derek-speech, pretty much means he's got a shot.

It's good enough for now.

X

Stiles spends the rest of the afternoon in bed. He sleeps some and rests some, and gets bored a lot, but he is actually feeling a bit drained, both from the injuries and the conversation.

Things are never boring in this house.

It's a bit after four when the rest of the pack comes by, and Stiles is in the living room, lounging on a couch, Derek answers the door, because when he tried to get up, the Alpha had actually growled at him, red eyes and everything. Erica and Isaac are the first in, they smile at Stiles, and Erica actually kisses him on the cheek. Boyd comes after, nodding respectfully, and at last, Scott comes in too, looking a bit out of place.

Stiles hadn't thought he'd come with the rest of the pack, but, oh, well.

Erica sits on the floor, opposite Stiles, and Isaac sits by her side. Boyd settles on her other side, and Derek growls warningly when Scott tries to sit on the couch – or what's left of it. The boy gets the hint and sits on the floor too, a bit away from the other wolves. Derek sits beside Stiles on the couch, and Stiles finally sits up a bit, making a face in the process.

"Are you okay?" Scott asks, doing the puppy face thing, and Stiles feels like laughing.

"I'm fine, just a bit achy, you know? But loads better than this morning. I should be fine by tomorrow." He says with an easy smile, which Scott returns promptly.

Huh. Maybe his best friend is actually trying.

"What did Deaton say about the pills, Scott?" Derek commands more than asks, and Scott takes a small box from his pocket.

"It's a mix of wolfsbane and some other herbs. The box is actual silver, even if it doesn't make any difference. Dr. Deaton thinks… Well, from the combination of things in it, and the frequency Gerard was taking these, he thinks it's some sort of suppressant. A wolf suppressant. As if Gerard was bitten, and was taking these to stop himself from changing."

Everyone is quiet at that, and Stiles can't help being a bit horrified, because suppressing his wolf seems simply unnatural for him.

"I'll find a way to check his body tonight, even if I have to talk to Argent to do it." Derek says, and everyone nods.

"Oh my god, Allison." Isaac says, and everyone turns to him. He has his hand in front of his mouth, and he looks horrified.

"What about Allison?" Scott says, and Isaac looks at Derek and then at Stiles before speaking.

"It's awful what he did, but they are hunters, it's understandable. But if… If there is a way to suppress it, Victoria didn't have to die."

Well, that puts the icing on their unpleasant cake, doesn't it?

"That man was a monster." Says Scott, making Derek turns to him, and Stiles can see that this is Alpha Derek, the Derek that feels threatened by having an Omega near his pack, and one that had betrayed them too.

"And yet you were helping him."

"I made a mistake, ok? He threatened my mom!" He defends himself, and he knows it's weak, but it's all he's got.

"And on that bright note, was Jackson at school today?" Stiles asks, before Scott spontaneously combusts from Derek's glare alone.

"He was at school, and he was completely normal." Boyd answers promptly, "I overheard him talking on the phone, before practice, and the voice sounded like Lydia Martin." He says, and startles a bit at Derek's growl. Stiles smiles widely, because, come on, Derek is growling because he's jealous of Lydia, how awesome is that?

Not at all if they ever meet, but anyway.

"Maybe she's his anchor." Stiles suggests, and everyone stares at him, "They date since forever, and she really, really loves the jerk. It could be it."

No one answers, because they know it's likely, but they can't exactly know the truth, so there's nothing they can do about it.

"I think we should discuss Scott's situation before we continue this." Erica says, "If he's not in the pack, he shouldn't listen to anything else." She points out, and Scott immediately looks at Stiles, as if expecting support.

Well, packs before bros.

"I agree." Stiles says, looking at Scott and shrugging, "I and Derek talked before, and we agreed that we should be democratic about this. We should vote. If you guys are comfortable with him, or willing to give him a chance, then he's in." He explains simply, and feels Derek practically vibrate by his side with dissatisfaction, probably thinking of all the ways he could have said that with growls and threats.

"I'm against it." Boyd says quickly, and everyone looks at him, "He's a danger to the pack."

Stiles smiles a bit.

"But that's not why you're voting against him, you're voting against him because you think he could threaten your position in the pack." He points out, and Boyd doesn't deny it, he just shrugs, he's still against it.

"I'm against it too." Erica says, "But it's only because he's a complete jerk." She completes with a sweet smile, and Stiles laughs quietly.

Isaac stares at Scott for some time before saying anything, and Scott is already looking miserable.

"I'm for it. He deserves a chance, and no one deserves to be alone without at least a second chance."

Everyone turns to stare at Stiles and he laughs.

"Seriously, you have any doubt I'm voting for it? I'm second in command, bitches, this is my chance to order him around." He says with a grin, and Scott smiles back at him.

It's their turn to look at Derek, and he isn't looking at Scott, he's staring at Stiles. He searches for long minutes before sighing loudly and finally looking at the boy in the floor.

"We'll do this properly this time. Tomorrow night. Now you all go home, and take care. Don't wander alone, and call me if anything, and I mean anything, happens."

They all nod, and Stiles sees the way Isaac seems to deflate at being ordered home.

Because, you know, he hasn't got any.

"Hey, Isaac." He calls as the others are leaving and the boy stares at him curiously, "Ahm, I know it's a stupid question, but do you want to stay over tonight? I could get homework and stuff form you, for the classes we have together, and I wouldn't be alone with my dad when he came back, because he's not a werewolf, and Derek has to go home at some point, if only to change, not that we'd be able to tell, what with all the black." He says, and Isaac is staring at him suspiciously.

Finally, the boy nods.

"I'll just get my backpack from Erica's car." He says, and Stiles smiles at him, watching him leave.

Suddenly, he's being grabbed by the waist, and Derek is kissing him again.

"About before… You know I will." The man whispers, and lets him go, going back to the kitchen.

The smile that spreads over Stiles face could light up the whole house.

And this is it.

Action will be back on the next chapter!

I'm sorry again for the delay, guys!

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