WARNING:
All characters and the story upon which this fanfiction is based are property of Dontnod Entertainment and Square Enix. I don't own anything.
As this is my first story to be published here, I will be happy about every reviews - both good and bad as only so I can know what I have to improve. :)
Rated M for crude and strong language at times, violence and mature content.
- Dark Maze-
What followed was a seemingly endless stream of nightmares. A myriad of the worst possible realities. Memories of 'pasts' and 'presents' she had hoped to never relive again. Broken, twisted and filled with hate… She fell through them, ran through them, fled, begged, cried… Nothing in that hellish place she was trapped in showed her any mercy. An endless fall through torment and pain until…
With a thud and a sharp pain registering in her abdomen the rocker-gal crashed to the ground. She could feel like somebody was holding her down, like someone was pressing her head against the roadside. She couldn't open her right eye – it felt like someone had landed a blow there with a bludgeoning hammer.
"Oh, lookie, lookie! What have we here? If it isn't the knight in shining armour?" Sharp pain seared through her shoulder and she could feel like something sharp was being pulled along her arm. "Oh, Max! We could have had such a wonderful time together, you know? I would have made you into a goddess! A masterpiece of my art." It was only now that she recognised the voice as the haze from getting her head beat against the ground had numbed her senses. It was Mr Jefferson.
"We can carve her up! Make an example of her!" The second voice belonged to no other than Nathan Prescott.
"Not so hasty! We have time on our hands, don't we? Why not have some fun?" The third voice was Warrens'. She felt like screaming, but something was holding her back. Like she'd lost her ability to speak or even move. Like she was in the dark room, but only worse. She knew where she was. She knew what would happen. The rocker-gal tried to move but to no avail, further adding to the mounting pain and desperation fuelled panic.
She felt as someone grabbed rudely the hem of her jeans and started to tug. 'No! This is not happening! This isn't real! This isn't happening!' Her mind felt like it was frozen with terror. Not thoughts, nothing. Just a numb feeling, that was engulfing her, blending out what was about to happen. She cried without any noise. She couldn't make a sound for all she tried.
Something hit her in the stomach and she suddenly felt like drowning. 'Air! I need air!' Her mind screamed in sudden panic, when the scenery shifted, melting into an oblivion of black and misshaped oily masses. But there was none. It felt like every inch of her was covered in thick oil, denying the access to the much needed oxygen.
And then she suddenly was back in the Academy. Standing in the class-room near the blackboard. Casandra was looking at her with a look of utter loathing and perverse satisfaction in her eyes, her arms slanged around the photography teachers' neck as she stood on her toes, leaning in to kiss the man, who sneered at the young rocker-gal.
"And you thought it was all real? You thought she loved you? How pathetic can you even get?" The man laugher cruelly. It stung like someone had pierced her heart with a knife.
"You're so gullible, Max. Seriously. Have you ever even thought about it for real? You come back for a week and we fall in love like in some dramatic romance movie? Has it ever occurred to you that you are just a waste of space and skin? You're just a substitute. I just waited for someone like Cas to come along. You can go play with Rachel in the dirt." In the place where the hated teacher had stood now was the one woman she loved above everything in the world, entangled in the arms of Max's ex-girlfriend, who nibbled at the blue-nettes' earlobe. It felt like someone would twist the knife.
It felt like all air was knocked out of her lungs. She wanted to speak up. To scream, to yell. But nothing came out.
The scenery melted before her very eyes and as it fell and twisted into new forms, she felt like the ground she was standing on would give in, bogging her down, tying her to the very spot where she was.
Suddenly she was no longer in the Academy, but in the dark room, shackled to the chair with white-hot iron bounds, that seared her flesh and at the same time felt like coldest ice – freezing her to a point where she couldn't distinguish the pain from the burned flesh from the pain of the stinging cold. The pain was maddening, but she couldn't cry, she couldn't speak, she couldn't move. She could only look on at the hideous scenery before her.
"I think you'd be perfect for my new photo series on retro-grunge…" The psychopathic teacher addressed the punk-girl, who was standing right next to the chair Max was sitting in, posing for the man. "You have the same qualities that I loved in Rachel Amber… but not Max. She is completely useless."
"Oh, God, I know, right?" It was still Chloe who was standing there, but she had Cas's voice. "She's so self-absorbed and she never shut's up about how tragic her life has been! I'm so glad that she's finally gone. Let's celebrate this." A snap of the camera and the scenery had changed again.
"Booyah, Warren! I thought you were all over Max's shit…" The punk-girl with the blue hair was standing just in her underwear as the young man before her ogled her with lust in his eyes.
"Not after the shit she pulled back in the alley. She's such a slut. God, I hope she's dead." The man sneered as his eyes took in every crook and cranny of the taller woman's body. "Let's bust a move?" A flash again. Shorter this time.
"Goddamn, you're a sexy bitch! And oh, you should have seen that fucking cunt's face, when she found us in the class-room!" Nathan was sitting on the couch in the dark room as Casandra straddled his lap.
"She's just like my personal puppet, but I have to admit, she's kinda used up. Gotta throw the useless things away." The woman with the raven-black hair purred.
"I hear that. Do you… want to party? I got a drugstore in my room." The man said as the woman slid down from his lap and walked over to the chained girl.
"Oh shit! Look at Max spying on us… Take a fucking picture, bitch! Or take a selfie!" The girl standing before her was not Cas anymore, but Chloe. Again a white flash. Even shorter this time.
"See, this is how you bust a move, Max… No mosh pit for you, shaka brah!" This time it was Rachel Amber, who was slowly undressing Cas, as Chloe urged her on, herself being tightly embraced by a half-naked Victoria. "You were always in the way of everyone and everything. I'm so glad you're finally gone!" Again it flashed white before her eyes.
She was standing in the hallway of the dorms, but there was no light except for an eerie glow of candles being placed on the ceiling.
Her feet moved on her own along the hallway, which seemed so much longer than she remembered it to be. One by one people from the various 'pasts' and 'presents' came out of the rooms. So many of them… As soon as they entered the hallway, they started to accuse Max of different things… painful things.
"Why did you come up to that roof? Why did you stop me? I hated my life and wanted it over with, but no! Thanks to you I'm stuck with my family, who was the reason I wanted to take my life in the first place, you dumb bitch!" Kate spat at her, when the rocker-gal passed her.
"You can't do anything right, can you? You should have just let them have their way with you. Oh, don't expect I'd take you back. A slut like you is not the company I keep." Casandra sneered at her.
"You can't save anyone. You just think about yourself! How can you be so useless and naïve? It's an embarrassment to just think about being friends with you." Rachel turned away from her with a hate-filled expression.
"Oh, hey, Max! Please, remind Joyce and Chloe for me that it was you who let me die." William beamed at her, but in his eyes danced an evil flame.
"Why do you even have rewind powers, when you can't even use them properly? Rachel's dead and I'm paralyzed. You murdered me. Life is so not fair…" Chloe was there in a wheelchair, staring balefully at the young rocker with brown-red hair. "I wish you'd have never come back to Arcadia Bay…"
"We should have never had children. If I had known my daughter to be so useless, I'd have had an abortion." Her mother was standing there by her father's side who didn't even acknowledge her presence.
Every step, every word, every syllable was like a battering ram pounding on the gates of her sanity, seeping away her precious few happy memories, draining her of the will to live.
Thud… Thud… Thud… A sound as if wood would croak under great pressure and then she was there on the roof of the school building in Seattle. The students and teachers were standing down below urging her to jump.
"Do it, Max. Make us proud for once." Said a choir of voices as she felt how the myriad of people standing in the hallway behind her reached out to push her.
Again the white flash and she was standing in the art gallery in San Francisco. It was dark and silent. And suddenly something gave way inside her. Something had crumbled to dust, never to be raised again. She screamed into the darkness. She cried. She cursed. She begged.
A light flashed before her. It was Mr Jefferson standing there with a flashlight, looking down at her in utter disgust.
Something snapped in the rocker-gal. With lightning speed she rushed forward and talked the man. A heavy punch landed on the side of her head, but she didn't really feel it. With a violent heave she lifted the taller and heavier man in the air before she threw him to the ground. A swift, fluid motion later she had already broken his right arm and as the man howled in an inhuman voice, blinded by pain, the young woman roared in hate and rage. She broke the man's other arm by breaking first his elbow and then the shoulder, with such force that she could hear the muscles snap from the bones they were attached to. But none of that really registered as she continued to punch the man's face and upper torso, before settling on strangling him. As his air pipe was slowly being crushed his howls became whimpers, before they were silenced completely.
The figure now changed form, as life was chocked out of it. First it changed to Kate, then Rachel, then Casandra, then Chloe, until it settled on Max's own image, but the hold on the figure's neck only got tighter as if the rocker-gal wanted to rip out its throat and not strangle it.
A flash of red light and she was standing in the gallery again, only this time she saw everything in different shades of red. She heard whispers, sneers and laughter. A flash of white light appeared somewhere in the dark maze and she bound for it. Not to see if that was a possible exit from this nightmarish realm, but to snuff it out, to shred it to bits, to tear it apart.
An earthshattering howl escaped her lips as she ran towards the light and in the next moment she felt how she herself was changing. She felt how everything she had experienced started to change what she was, to shape what she had become. Without slowing down she placed one big black paw before the other.
'Wait! What?' It was only now that she stopped for the briefest of moments. She looked down to look at the paws that had been her hands just moments before, but instead she saw her own reflection on the ground, which was covered in thick red liquid. A black wolf with piercing blue eyes stared back at her from the reflection on the ground. The same dark red liquid that covered the floor of the gallery was dripping from her maw. She caught herself grinning at what she saw just to see that the wolf in the reflection had barred its teeth in an ugly, frightening snarl. 'My foes - they can't destroy my body! And I'm one step from lashing out at you...Stay away from me!' The lyrics from some of her favourite songs mixed together as a silent tune which only she could hear started to whisper in her ears. For a brief moment she closed her eyes listening to it, before she bound forwards again.
"If you push too far, expect to be pushed back." She heard her own voice as a ferocious growl. There it was – the source of the light. Another wolf was standing at the centre of it. It had slightly bluish white fur and black eyes.
Without a second lost the two beasts roared and charged at each other. There was no mercy, no forgiveness, nothing except the rage and anger in Max's mind, whilst the other beast, symbolising the guilt, the self-hatred and self-loathing, clawed at her with all the force it could muster. But the rage in the rocker-gal's heart was burning brighter than ever. Life had pushed her, life had beaten her, life had hurt her… No longer. 'No longer will I lay down, play dead, play your doe in the headlights locked down and terrified! Your deer in the headlights shut down and horrified!'
With grim satisfaction she felt her teeth sink into the throat of the creature before her, pitch-black blood dripping thickly, slowly to the ground as the figure withered before her.
As the darkness in the figure's eyes faded to grey and then to white, there was one moment when Max saw what she had become and shuddered, but there was no way back. No possibility to change what had just happened. No way to mend what had been broken by her own hands…
A white flash followed as quickly as the previous one. The rocker-girl was herself again, standing in the diner, where most of the people she had interacted with in this past week had sought shelter from the raging storm. Nobody moved, but Max could hear their voices as faint whispers in her head. They still accused her of being selfish, of abandoning them to the storm, to have brought this on them… Why didn't this nightmare end? Had she not sacrificed enough? Had she not just killed what had held her back? Why was she still here? Confused the young rocker looked over the familiar, motionless faces of the people in the diner.
"You should have just let it swallow you whole." The young woman heard her own voice addressing her. She turned around in surprise and nearly tripped over her own feet. In the booth was sitting the spitting image of herself.
"Who are you? Why are you here? I thought I had dealt with you already!" The rage boiled up in the rocker with the nose-piercing as she glared down at the woman before her, who looked exactly like her, but was somehow different. The girl sitting in the booth had shoulder-length, brown hair and wore a t-shirt with a doe on it. She looked more like a hipster than the rocker-gal Max had become over the years.
"Holy shit, are you cereal? I'm you, dumbass. Or I'm one of the many Maxes you've left behind. What's wrong? Thought every reality and timeline you crossed was just that? You destroyed countless lives. You destroyed my life. But, oh, I guess you're not done with just looking out for yourself. Am I right? You want help to get out of here? Thought you could control everybody and everything, huh? Twist time around your fingers?" The Max before the rocker-girl looked at her in disgust. What she had just said hit the 'real' Max like a hammer. Had she really done that? Were all those timelines she screwed over real in their own right and she had just done that – screw them up and leave? The possibility of it dowsed her rage and set something like ice-cold dread in her gut. 'If she is right… Oh God! Chloe!' The thought was horrifying.
"I- I only wanted to see Chloe smile again…" The rocker-girl with brown-red hair said, still shocked by what her own doppelganger had said just a moment before.
"No, you only ever cared about yourself. And once you got these amazing powers, your big plan was to right only what was fitting your interests. To trick people into thinking you rive a rat's ass." The woman in the booth laughed bitterly.
"That's not true! I do care for my friends!" The words seemed weak, but somehow the laugh had triggered something in the rocker-gal as memories started to flood her mind, making it hard to concentrate.
"Yeah, right. You sure have friends you care for. Don't bullshit me! You're just a leech on everyone that is halfway kind to you! You were always looking for someone to feel sorry for you!" The woman with the doe t-shirt jabbed an accusing finger at Max. "Please, stop playing innocent. You're a goddamn hypocrite. You've left a trail of death and suffering behind you."
"That is not my fault, you lying daughter of a whore!" The anger was there, but it was helpless, bogged down by the countless memories of the various 'pasts' and 'presents'. It couldn't help Max this time…
"Don't you dare talk about our mom that way… ha!" The girl before her grinned cruelly at the rocker-gal. "All that crap was your fault! You fucked up time and space for your precious punk Chloe. You think she's worth all that?"
"She's worth everything!" Max said in a stern, harsh voice. This time around the anger didn't fail her. The thought about Chloe had focused her mind on the one thing - the one person – this was truly about – her best friend, the woman she loved, the one she'd do everything for, even if it meant to go through every hell she'd ever lived through.
"Oh, yeah, right! She's your best friend, eh? A 'best friend' you ignored for five years while she went through hell… some friend you are." The girl with shoulder-length brown hair said accusingly, but she could see it had little effect on the rocker-woman before her.
"Right. And she is my best friend, who accused me of abandoning her, even if it wasn't my choice and ignored me while I went through hell bare-feet! Don't talk to me about her, you bitch! I have broken myself for her sake and if I have you I'll break you for it too. So fuck off!" There was fire in the rocker-gal's eyes now. If a look could set fire, the woman in the booth would have burned to cinders already.
"Yeah, because you let her bully you. Feeling so attached to her… It's called 'Stockholm Syndrome'. But you didn't do that homework… so you'll have to learn the hard way. Like Rachel…" The other Max crossed her arms before her chest, looking at the rocker with the butterfly-tattoo in defiance. "I'd be more worried about her killing us than Jefferson… Max, do you really think she's our friend? That she respects us in any way? She's not better than Casandra. Maybe even worse! Man, you're so stupid. I'm embarrassed to have the same name… And someday Chloe will destroy- Oh, hell, speak of the devil."
The door of the diner was practically being kicked in as an angry looking punk-girl entered it and walked straight up to the two quarrelling Maxes, before settling in the seat before the 'hipster'-Max.
"Dude, do not even fuck with her head! She knows what we went through! What we went through this week and you don't! There is no way you can break up our team! This is reality!" The blue-nettes words faded in the back ground as the rocker-gal's vision blurred once more.
"I don't even have to… do I?" A vicious voice full of spite and malice whispered in Max's ear, just before her vision returned revealing the black hallway. There was nothing there, but the darkness. No way in, no way out. Nothing.
"Well, after five years, you're still Max Caulfield." She heard Chloe mutter, just as she had back in the car on the first day they had met at the Academy and had escaped Nathan by driving off in Chloe's pickup-truck. The scene manifested before her as the dialogue they had played out as it had, while she slowly treaded past the pickup-truck further into the darkness. It was only now that she saw it – it was not purely dark. A light, as if from a lighthouse was visible in the distance.
"I, er, know it was your birthday last month so… this was my dad's camera and I want you to have it." The memory of Chloe handing her the camera manifested in the darkness for Max to see and relive it again. As she walked past it further towards the light other memories manifested along the way.
One of Chloe and her being busted by David in Chloe's room, one of them sitting on the bench near the lighthouse, one of them in the diner as they explored her powers for the first time, one of them at the junkyard at Chloe's hide-out. The memories manifested more frequently at this point.
Another one – of them walking on the rails, just after Max had saved Chloe from being run over by the train. One of them breaking into the principal's office and Max laughing her head off at the expanse of a dumbfound Chloe, who had tried everything she knew about lock-picking just for Max to show her the door hadn't been locked at all. One about the time they checked out the files on the principal's computer. One of them at the pool. Involuntarily Max had to smile as she remembered the look on Chloe's face when she had slowly stripped to her underwear and sung 'Wicked Game'. She pressed on. The light was closer and she could see that it indeed was the light of the lighthouse.
The next memory to manifest was of her wrapped in the arms of a sleeping Chloe as she was about to take a picture of them. It was promptly followed by the memory of Chloe daring her to kiss the punk-girl. It made her heart quiver for a moment.
A memory of them in Franks' RV, another of her returning to the day of William's death, of her singing for a paralyzed Chloe, just before kissing her for the first and the last time in this alternate universe – they all passed her as she slowly moved on, letting every scene play out before turning to face the next one.
The memory of the two women standing in the dark room, just after they had discovered the binders with the pictures of the various victims of the psychopathic teacher, was followed by the memory of them finding Rachel's body in the junkyard. The sorrow, helplessness and grief in Chloe's cries nearly brought the rocker-gal to her knees, as Chloe declared her love for the dead woman. She could feel that tears had started to run down her own cheeks, but still she pressed on as if pushed by and invisible force.
And then she was there, nearly at the lighthouse. She could see a scene that most definitely was not a memory. Chloe was helping her walk up to the lighthouse, pleading with her in an increasingly worried tone.
"Max, can you hear me? Max, come on now!" The blue-haired punk begged her as she practically dragged her towards the lighthouse. "Don't worry… we'll be ok."
'It is time. Decide what you will do.' The rocker-gal could hear the voice in her head again, but this time it was speaking without malice. There was something there though. As if the voice had experienced it all already and now hoped that Max would make a choice that it had not been able to make. 'Good luck.' She could hear it whisper faintly as she finally reached the image of Chloe helping her to move forward to the lighthouse.
-In the end/What I've done-
Thunder crashed as a lightning bolt shot through the sky. Her legs couldn't hold her up any longer and Max felt how she tumbled towards the ground. Chloe was right next to her.
"Max? Can you hear me? Please, say something!" The despair in the punk-girl's voice didn't go unnoticed by the rocker with the nose-piercing as she slowly picked herself up from the ground.
"Chloe? I-… I must have passed out… Sorry." She managed a weak smile.
"Oh, thank God… Don't you ever do that again, ok?" The blue-nette helped her up and squeezed her for a moment in a tight embrace before looking her in the eyes once more worried.
"I swear… but that nightmare… that hell… it was so real. God, Chloe, it felt so real, so horribly real…" She knew that the memory of it would haunt her for the rest of her life, but as the punk-girl's gaze wandered so did hers. It came to rest on the giant tornado that was racing towards the town below. "This is my storm. I caused this. I caused all of this…" It struck her then and there. "I changed fate and destiny so much that I actually did alter the course of everything. And all I created? Just death and destruction…" The words of her other self were real after all… Had it not been for the punk-girl right next to her, holding her by the shoulders, she might have just fallen to her knees again. This was not bearable…
"Fuck all of that, ok? You were given a power. You didn't ask for it… and you saved me. Which had to happen, all of this did! Except for what happened to Rachel." Chloe said with as much conviction in her voice as she could muster. She could see how every word she uttered left a mark on the rocker-gal in front of her and how much her face dropped after she had spoken the name of her other best friend. "Without your power, we wouldn't have found her! Ok, so you're not a goddamn Time Lord, but you're Maxine Caulfield… and you're amazing…" She paused there as she saw the look of self-loathing and self-hatred appear on the young rockers' face again. How she hated that look! How she wanted it to go away… Why couldn't life just give them a break and let the tormented woman standing before her breath in life's beauty without the taint and hopelessness she had had to endure?
The blue-nette looked at the woman before her in silence as she finally came to a conclusion. A decision she had to make. She pulled out her wallet and reached for one of the pictures she had stored there.
"Max, this is the only way." Chloe held the photo out to her best friend. "You could use that photo to change everything right back to when you took that picture… All that would take is for me to… to…" Her voice trembled as she explained to the seemingly stunned rocker just what she had thought off.
"Fuck that! Are you insane?! No! You are my number one priority now! You are all that matters to me anymore." Chloe could see that Max was crying; rage had twisted the rocker-gal's beautiful face to a mask of pure anger at her own hopelessness.
"I know… You proved that over and over again… even though I don't deserve it." Chloe replied as she looked into the slightly younger woman's eyes. "I'm so selfish… not like my mom… Look what she had to give up and live through… and she did. She deserves so much more than being killed by a storm in a fucking diner! Even my step… father deserves her alive. There are so many people in Arcadia Bay who should live… way more than me…" For a moment her voice failed her as she realised just what it would take to erase the storm…
"Don't you dare say that! I didn't go through hell just to let life or whatever it is that is pulling the strings to take you away from me! I won't fucking trade you!" Max's voice was trembling with rage, but her face told something else. It asked a question – 'how can you expect me to trade the only one I love in this world anymore for this?'.
"But you're not trading me. Maybe you've just been delaying my real destiny… Look at how many times I've almost died or actually died around you! Look at what's happened in Arcadia Bay ever since you first saved me." The punk-girl unwillingly lashed out at the rocker-girl. The realisation of the possible truth behind her own words made her press on. "I know I've been selfish, but for once I think I should accept my fate… our fate… You finally came back to me this week, and… you did nothing but show me your love and friendship. You made me smile and laugh, like I haven't done in years… Wherever I end up after this… in whatever reality… all those moments between us were real, and they'll always be ours…" She steeled herself for what she was about to say, but nothing in the world could really make her feel less frightened about what was to come. "No matter what you chose, I know you'll make the right decision, Max."
"Chloe… I can't do this! I just can't do this!" The rocker-gal stared at her with a pleading look in her eyes. "How can you expect me to do this? I can't make this choice!" Her voice was so faint that Chloe had trouble hearing it over the howling wind.
"No, Max. You're the only one who can." The punk-girl said as she pulled the shorter woman into a tight hug. She could feel how desperately the young rocker-girl clung to her. It was almost painful. "You have to do this. You have to right this… For me… for Rachel… You'll make those fuckers pay for what they did to Rachel." It was as if lightning had struck the woman in her arms as Chloe felt her tense up immediately at the mentioning of Rachel. Had it been any other situation, the punk-girl with the blue hair might have actually thought this through and remembered just what the rocker-gal had been through, what she had told her she had done in order to ensure that Chloe herself would stay alive, what she had sacrificed to ensure that. She would have thought of just how much and in what a way the shorter woman with brown-red hair had declared her love for her, of what the rocker-girl meant to her. She would have realised her own feelings…
But this was not such a moment. Chloe was scared shitless of what was to come and become of her. Of her own fate, that she had decided to be. And in this moment of unspoken truth her mind had again settled on an older flame – not the bright one burning hot in her arms just now.
"Being together this week was the best farewell gift I could have hoped for. You're my hero, Max." She spoke into the shorter girl's ear, before she eased away a bit from the rocker-gal, just to be able to kiss her on tenderly on the lips. "I'll always love you…" Somehow it sounded hollow to her own ears, as if this was not the way it was supposed to be said, but she couldn't think of any other way or time where she'd say it. She let go of the woman in front of her. The look in Max's eyes was unreadable. "Now get out of here. Please, do it before I freak… And Max Caulfield – don't you ever forget about me!" She turned away, so that she wouldn't have to look at the crying rocker-gal, as she'd concentrate on the picture and… vanish? But there was no way back. She had decided her own fate. She had accepted it. Hadn't she?
Max stood there for a moment, but it seemed like it lasted an eternity, petrified by what just had happened, by all the wounds this short conversation had ripped up again, by everything she had experienced in this and all the other realities. 'Everything – just for this? For a kiss and a half-assed goodbye?' Rage boiled in her and for the first time in what seemed to be a long, long time she felt pure anger towards the person she loved. How could she just do what she just did? How could she expect Max to live through the thing she had hoped to change time and time again? How could she be so selfish to declare she loved her, just to go on about Rachel all the while? Rage threatened to consume her as she stared down and concentrated on the picture in her hands showing her own stunned face as she had just discovered her powers to alter time in the classroom at the beginning of the week. This last conversation with her best friend, with the one person she truly loved, had broken something in her that even she herself could not have broken. There was nothing left there… Nothing but a vicious fight between two feelings she felt for the punk with the blue hair right now. Love and hate. Yes, she would change fate. She would save the town. But if Chloe thought she'd let her off the hook so easily after what she had experienced and done just to have her heart ripped out by the person she loved nearly just like with Casandra (maybe even worse), she was badly mistaken. Her other self had been right hadn't it? Did Chloe even really care about her? Well, too bad. She'd see just how much she meant to the rocker-gal, and just how much she had just hurt her.
-Already Died-
"Hey, Chloe! What was the name of your best friend? I mean, former best friend?" The young woman with hazel eyes asked the punk-girl nonchalantly, just as she entered their secret hide-out.
"Wha-? Max fucking Caulfield! The loser of losers!" The blue-nette replied in an annoyed tone, when Rachel sat down next to her on the sofa. "Why do you have to bring her up right now? I was in such a good mood, you jerk." She punched the other woman softly on the shoulder, but smiled a bit to show that she was not really angry or anything.
To her surprise the young blonde woman seemed not to notice or not to care, as she intently studied a flyer that she held in her hands.
"Damn… This could be her, couldn't it? I mean, look! And you are the one that brings her up normally, so shut up." Rachel handed her the flyer she held so that the blue-haired woman could read the text on it. It was obviously an invitation to a rock or metal concert that would take place in a relatively nearby barn just this evening. She and Rachel had been to various parties during the years they knew each other, but never had there been an indie-rock/metal concert like this in such a hick-hole as Arcadia Bay. And now this… The flyer read that whoever would show this would get a discount on the entrance fee and the booze at the concert. There were would be a few bands playing of whom she'd never heard, but the main act was reserved for 'Mad Max and the Fortress of False Hope'. The name Max was there, but it still didn't explain why Rachel had thought it could be her once-best-friend. A friend that had abandoned her.
"This doesn't mean anything, Rach. It could be just about anyone with a similar name." The blue haired punk shrugged, though the mentioning of her former best friend had made her thoughtful.
"It's just that this completely badass looking girl transferred to Blackwell in February. Basically a month ago… Anyways, when I tried to ask around none of the students could really tell anything, just that she'd broken a guy's arm for touching her butt once. She's a total enigma." The young blonde woman explained as Chloe turned to look at her friend. "I know she lives in the dorms and that she plays guitar and that she can sing. I mean, who doesn't – I was just over to Juliet's room to get some stuff I had lent her, when I heard this gal rocking out in her room, like she didn't care who heard it or not. I have to admit it – it was top notch stuff. And when I asked around the teachers they said her name was Maxine and that she'd just transferred from Seattle."
This set the young punk on edge. Max had moved to Seattle all those years ago. Could it be that this really was her? Could her once-best-friend have returned and not given her a call or anything? A bitter laugh escaped her as she thought about it. 'Of course it could be her. Her not calling me would just be proof of how little our friendship actually meant to her.'
"We should go and check it out." The blonde woman next to her brought her thoughts back from the depth they had sunken to. "I mean, if it is her – you get to tell her everything you have to say. And if it isn't her – well, we get to hang out at the concert." She smiled dazzlingly and Chloe could only nod in agreement, even if she didn't really feel like meeting that part of her life again.
"So, when do we go?" The punk-girl asked, still somewhat hoping that her friend would get the message and not insist on going. But knowing Rachel, she'd do about anything to sate her curiosity. There was a certain glint in the young blonde's eyes that Chloe knew only from the time they had first met all those years ago – it spoke of an undeniable, burning curiosity.
"Well, the flyer says that it'll start at nine, but the main act is on at eleven, so I'd say, let's just hang out 'till ten and then get to the Larsen's barn." Rachel answered as she leaned slightly against the young punk's shoulder, which made Chloe's heart skip a beat. 'God, how can she be so oblivious to what she does to my heart?' She thought letting her arm lazily sling around the blonde girls' shoulders. A quick glance at her cell-phone told the punk-girl that it was half-past nine actually. The concert had apparently already started, but that was ok. Her mom and step-dad would make a ruckus regardless of what time she'd be home, so there was no reason to go home until then anyways.
"Fine. Let's see how this plays out." She agreed somewhat reluctantly, but the closeness of the woman she felt so strongly for was somewhat soothing, so she let the thoughts slip and wander until there was nothing except the warm buzz of the weed and the low tune of the music the young blonde with the feather-earring had put on. And time flew by…
"You fucker's ready?" The front-woman of the three-people band asked in a low menacing, but undeniably clear and powerful voice, just as the pair entered the concert-area. A small cheer went up. As expected there were not a lot of people there, but then again – there were more people here than Chloe would have expected. "I said 'are you fucking ready?'!" This time the growl earned a loud cheer from most of the patrons present at the concert. Without another word or announcement the band started to play.
"Chloe! That's 'Rose' from A Perfect Circle!" Rachel grabbed her arm excitedly as they pushed forward through the thickening crowd at the stage at the other end of the barn. It never cased to amaze Chloe just how diverse music her best friend listened to and just how easily she could distinguish it by just a few tunes or riffs.
The voice of the singer rang through the barn with a power Chloe hadn't expected. Regardless of whether or not this was her once-best-friend singing, the punk-girl had to admit that the front-woman's voice was amazing and fitted the heavy, nearly violent riffs perfectly, changing from low-key and silent to rage-filled, loud and powerful. Just as they had reached the third row before the stage the song ended.
"I guess this is as good a moment as any for introductions, eh?" The front-woman asked the audience, which promptly cheered on her. Even Rachel whooped along. "We're Mad Max and the Fortress of False Hope and the next song is gonna be another cover from one of our favourite bands." With that the brief announcement was over and the drummer did a countdown before the front-woman, who also played guitar, set off an amazing riff that would dominate the whole song. It was 'Go with the flow' from Queens of the Stone Age as Rachel was quick to educate the slightly stunned Chloe.
Due to the lights in the back-ground it was hard to see the band playing, but some things the punk-girl could distinguish. The front-woman had short brown-red hair that hung loosely and slightly obscured her features. Chloe could see that the young woman rocking the stage had many tattoos as she sported a black sleeveless tank-top and ripped, black jeans and matching black leather boots. She had to admit – that gal up there on the stage looked like a total badass.
The cover was quickly followed by a two original songs form the band, before another set of covers was brought up. The calmer tones of Rammstein's 'Ohne Dich' and System of a Down's 'Lost in Hollywood' were followed by a heavy set of Tool's 'Hooker with a Penis' and Believers of Medicine's 'Rainbows are free'. Again a set of original songs were played and without her really wanting to, the punk-girl had started to dance and mosh with Rachel at her side. The tunes were intoxicating, shredding any bit of reluctance from the listeners as more and more people joined before the stage to create a real mosh pit. It was good. No, it was one hell of a rock-show the band delivered, as everyone that had stayed for the main act would hoop and whistle or shout at the end of each song, demanding more. And before she knew it – Chloe was one of those roaring the loudest for the band to continue. Rachel didn't stay far from the top loudest cheerers herself though.
A quiet, and frankly slightly unsettling (as the lights were considerably dimmed for the duration of the song, painting the front-woman in an eerie red all the while), 'If I had a heart' from Fever's Ray was followed by an explosive and powerful 'Alma Mater' from Moonspell.
"You like that?" The front-woman growled. The crowd went up in a cheer as one. "You like that, eh?" Again everyone cheered. "Fine! Let's rock people!" She gave the young woman at the keyboard, which was also playing the bass in most songs a signal and the woman started to play a tune.
None of the concert-goers knew the song, but they were immediately mesmerized by it, when the front-woman with the blue butterfly-tattoo and the black-red wolf-tattoo on her arms started to sing in a low, quiet, but emotion-filled voice 'How you turn my world, you precious thing!'. Chloe was amazed by the beauty and heartfelt pain the singer lent this song she performed to such an extent that she missed the part where the song actually ended and the crowd started to cheer. It was swiftly followed by another rather heart wrenching performance of 'Song to the Siren' in a version that Chloe and Rachel didn't know. It was followed by another original song and a cover of 'Wicked Game' by Chris Isaac, which truth to be told made Chloe's heart hammer in her chest, for in that moment not even the presence of the woman she loved could tear her eyes from the rocker on the stage, who had apparently hypnotized everyone in the barn with her voice and her slow rhythmic movements.
As the front-woman announced, a heavy, psychedelic trip awaited them with 'I'm the Mountain' from the band Stoned Jesus and a return to the teen years with a rather heavy 'In the end' from Linkin Park.
"Ok folks! This is it! Out last three cover songs! Let's trash this place!" The rocker-gal roared into the microphone, provoking another loud cheer from the concert-goers.
The first one was 'Sad but true' from Metallica, which was followed by a song from the German band Die Ärzte 'Nichts in der Welt'. As nearly no one in the crowd understood German its meaning was somewhat unclear for most of them, but somehow Chloe thought she got the gist of it, as its tune was rather melancholic. The last song was again in another language no one present understood, but it too felt heavy and bittersweet. As the drummer piped in, it was 'Baby' by the Ukrainian band Dakhabrakha.
The song ended and suddenly there was a quiet, which nothing seemed to be able to fill. At first it was a sole roar of one of the concert-goers, but in a heartbeat it had swelled to a deafening shout for more as nobody present wanted the band, which had proven to be top-class material, to quit their concert just yet.
"You want more?" The front-woman asked with a smile, but for some reason Chloe had the notion that she was rather sad and that the smile on the woman's face seemed rather strained… fake. The crowd answered as one with a cheer. Rachel whooped and hollered next to the somewhat thoughtful punk-girl.
"Well, what do you think? One more?" The rocker with the many tattoos turned to her band-mates, who nodded their agreement, grinning. "Ok guys and gals! One more!" As the roar of excitement died down, the woman with brown-red hair started to play.
"Yes it's been a long damn time, ain't been around cos' I work for my money!"
"I'd love to stay but I'm really runnin' short on time."
"And I hear you've got a new girl. She's like a new-age hippie, and she's rollin' in the money."
"No... I don't really hold a grudge. It's just hard for me..."
"I feel like you already died..."
"I feel like you already died..."
"I feel like you already died!..."
"I know it works out bad sometimes. I'm glad we're friends, cos' we're hateful as lovers."
"I walk away knowing everything I said was lies!"
"My heart and my mind have been all twisted..."
"I can't get no sleep... I found the lighting in the grass line!..."
"There's a blackness passing over me. I've been transformed..."
"I feel like you already died..."
"I feel like you already died..."
"I feel like you already died!..."
As the sound died away, the front-woman announced that it had been the song 'Already Died' by the band Eagles of Death Metal, which they had just preformed and that all rights for the covers belonged to the artists preforming the originals. The crowd cheered and whooped as the band bowed before it and went to the backstage area in a small section of the barn which had been shut-off from the rest of it by thick, heavy curtains.
Chloe felt like she'd been struck by lightning as she looked towards the direction in which the band disappeared.
'It's-… It's her! It really is Max!' she could hardly believe what she had seen, what she had experienced. Throughout this last song the front-woman of the band had looked at her, directly at her, singing every syllable with such an intensity and emotion it threatened to burst the punk-girls' heart, but it had been only the moment when the lights went full on and the band bowed before the cheering crowd, that she finally recognised her once-best friend. A thought shot through her mind. 'Why was she crying at the end?'
"Man, that was amazing! And can you believe that? This badass rocker is going to the same Academy as we do… well, me for most of the part, but hell!" Rachel's eyes were glowing as she dragged the still stunned Chloe towards a corner of the barn where booze was being served. "The songs! The riffs! It was just perfect! And the emotions she put in them! It was as if she'd sing into one's very heart!" The blonde woman in the black leather jacket went on. "Damn, this was so great! Eh, Chloe?... Erm… Chloe? Are you there? Hello-o! Earth to Chloe, please respond." It was only now that they had reached their destination and Rachel was about to order some beer when she noticed the look on her friend's face. The punk with blue hair seemed to be totally out of it.
"That's her, Rachel. That's- that's Max." The weight and meaning behind the young punk-girls' words hit her like a hammer.
"Holy shit!" She looked at her friend wide-eyed, before looking at the direction of the back-stage area and then back at her friend. "Do you know what this means? You can clear it all up! This is your chance to confront her! I know you'd talk to her at the Academy as well, but I have no clue what classes she has or what she does in her free time. Well, except to rock the dorms."
"Rach… I… I don't know if this is really the time we should do this. I mean… I'm not sure I'm ready…" Something about her former best friend's drastically changed attire and demeanour had sown doubts in the punk-girl's mind, which were now fighting for the upper hand with the pent up anger at the person, which abandoned her so many years ago and didn't even notify her that she was back in town... There probably was a reason for it, but… who was she to tell?
"Chloe, we have to do this. You know it will gnaw on you just more the more time passes." The blonde woman in front of her crossed her arms before her chest, but what she'd just said was quite logical. She knew how Chloe thought after all…
"Alright, but… will you keep an eye out for me? Just in case things get a bit more 'touchy-feely' and not in the kind way?" The blue-nette managed a weak smile, which was promptly returned by Rachel's radiant one in turn.
"You bet. I've got you covered." The blonde woman said with affection and determination in her voice as she placed a hand on Chloe's shoulder. She grinned. "Plus, I know a way into the back-stage area which doesn't require us to get past those goons guarding it."
They snuck out of the side doors of the barn and circled around it, hoping to attract as little attention as possible from the other concert-goers that still lingered around the barn. It was just as they reached the corner of the back-building of the barn that they heard somebody argue in raised voices. They looked at each other in silent agreement before one ducked and the other stretched so that they could both peer around the edge of the building.
A bit further away they saw the young rocker, which by Chloe's words, was her former best friend Max, as she argued with a woman none of them recognised.
"Max, you have to believe me! I didn't know what Matthew and the girls were up to! I swear I didn't know that they had targeted you just because I got involved with you!" The woman pleading with Max was absolutely gorgeous. Even though it was relatively dark, the single light-bulb above the back-entrance to the barn shone enough light on the pair so that Chloe and Rachel could see them just about well enough. The girl that had grabbed Max's arm at the elbow was a bit taller than Max herself, maybe about as tall as Chloe, but the rocker-gal was clearly more muscular. It appeared that Max had been just about to change into something different as she was now standing before the other woman in just her jeans and a sports-bra, thus exposing her rather ripped body. 'She has a six-pack…' A small voice in Chloe's mind noted as the punk-girl stared at the scene before her.
"I don't have to believe jack-shit, you cunt!" With a violent tug the rocker freed her hand from the grasp of the woman with waist-length raven-black hair. Even from this distance the two women hiding could see the dangerous fire in the rocker-girls' eyes. It seemed the black-haired woman saw it too as she involuntarily took a small step backwards. "Yeah, that's right. I know about all the shit you pulled. Just about how you used me!" Max's voice was heavy with barely supressed rage. "Oh! You thought I didn't know? Well, maybe you shouldn't have told everything to Martha and the others, hm? Maybe Matthews' thugs should have just slit my throat instead of playing with their food, huh? What is it, bitch? What?! Just what did you hope to accomplish by coming here, Casandra?" The rocker-gal was nearly screaming, but didn't seem be bothered if anyone heard her. The other woman was visibly trembling. Was it due to fear?
"Max, please! That wasn't me! I swear it! Please, I swear it, it wasn't me!" The taller woman's voice was barely audible as she was fighting for control over her voice in order not to break down in uncontrollable sobs. "I love you, Max! I always have! Since the first day I saw you! I swear I'd never do that. I'd never hurt you…" By the light being slightly reflected on the taller girl's cheeks Chloe and Rachel could tell that she was crying. She reached out tentatively towards the rocker-gal, but the young rocker with brown-red hair stepped back and held her arms up.
"Stop-… Just stop lying, Cas… You already hurt me and you denying it being your fault isn't going to make it disappear. You hurt me so bad I-… I'm wondering why I'm even talking to you…" The Max said and though it had been so many years since they had last met, Chloe could tell that the woman standing in front of the short rocker-gal had indeed hurt her former best friend in a way that would render her unable to redeem herself. "I loved you Cas." The rocker-gal's words hit like a punch to the gut and made Chloe's head spin. "And you betrayed me. Traded me. Hurt me." There was anger in the shorter woman's voice, but the low tone she spoke in swung heavy with sadness, hurt and pain. "Whatever was there once in my heart it has been long since replaced by hate for you… Nothing you say is not going to change a thing. Go home. I don't want to see your face ever again." With that the rocker-girl turned on her heels and went inside the barn again, leaving the taller woman alone as she fell to her knees and now was sobbing uncontrollably.
'Jesus, just what has happened to you, Max?' Chloe wondered as her gaze was locked on the already closed back-door to the barn. This definitely wasn't the Max she'd known so long ago, even if she was unmistakably the same girl from all those years before.
"Come on, Che. Let's see if we can get to know a little more about what just happened here." She heard Rachel's voice as the other woman slid past her and went over to the black-haired woman kneeling in the cold grass. As if moved by an unseen force the punk-girl moved along and helped Rachel help the unknown woman, who went by the name Casandra, up. This day had turned from annoying, to awesome, to strange, to completely crazy in the course of only a few hours. She needed answers.
'Just what has happened to you, Max?' The stunned and shocked punk-girl wondered all the while they brought the crying woman to her pickup-truck and drove back to the town as the barn was about to get closed. This was nothing like she'd expected her first get-together with her former best friend to turn out like…
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hey, guys and gals. This one's up earlier than expected 'cause I took a day for myself and ended up returning to this next piece so often in my thoughts that I decided 'Ah, fuck it! Let's give it a go!'. I hope you'll enjoy it. Well, as for the end of it – you can guess that this isn't going to be an easy 'just as the game did' end. So yeah… how you'll like just where this is going to. :D
With that said - cheers and have a great rest of the weekend ;)!
Yours,
Bovragor