EPOV
As soon as day broke and I saw that Bella was awake and getting ready for the day, I decided to run home and get ready as well.
I felt like I was flying through the sky as I ran! I had felt this way before. There was a swelling feeling of freedom in my chest and stomach. The wind whipped through my hair as I ran. I closed my eyes and pretended I was falling through the air the way that my heart was falling in love: careless and unbound at last!
"Edward, bro! Looks like you had quite a night," Emmett boomed as he pointed at my buttonless shirt.
I just rolled my eyes and kept walking up the stairs to my room. Jasper and Rose snickered as I marched past them. I didn't have time for their crap right now. I wanted to hurry as quickly as I could so that I could resume my day with Bella.
I had already made up my mind that I would be making a trip to Port Angeles this weekend. As if I was going to not go; like I could go without seeing her every day.
I was in my room, picking through everything in my closet the way some girl does, when Alice danced in excitedly. I had found my favorite shirt and pulled it on.
"Edward, hi," she sang, her voice overflowing with amusement. Her eyes landed on my hamper. "Heard about your shirt. I guess you'll just have to throw it away."
Yeah right, Alice. Like I'm going to get rid of the shirt I was wearing when the love of my existence told me that all she would ever ask for is for me to love her forever; that it would be her sweetest dream come true if I did… which I do! My heart just wanted my mouth to open and have me sing the words to the world! But, I held back. I could just imagine Jasper and Emmett rolling over with laughter if that vocalized.
"I can see that you will not get rid of it, but at least consider sewing some buttons on it, will you," she scoffed lightly.
She glanced to the side and up thoughtfully, and pursed her lips.
"I can see that you won't sew them on. Well, then, at least consider…"
"Look, Alice," I said desperately. "I need your help."
"Go on," she said with a smile. "I already know what you want, but I want to hear you say it. Use your big-boy words, Edward. Out loud!"
"I need…" I just need to you help me win Bella's heart! I knew that deep down I am what she wants. But when she is conscious, she shows no interest.
How can she subconsciously love me and at the same time ignore me as if I didn't exist? I mean, sure, we sat next to each other in Biology and we exchanged a few words there, but it was all minimal. And in the lunchroom or sometimes in the parking lot in the morning, I would see her glance at me. But it was never for more than a few seconds, and she never approached me for anything.
Granted: most people don't approach vampires. Although they may be fascinated by everything about us subconsciously, their instinct for self preservation tells them to stay away. But, she wasn't like most people. In fact, when we were near one another, her body would literally align with mine. She would arch her back toward my front, or her hip would curve toward me. It's like we were drawn to one another – meant to complement the other.
And yet, how could that be? Everything in her instinct should have kept her from brushing against my hand or sitting calmly in my car with me. Everything in my biological impulse told me to destroy her – to consume the very liquid force that kept her heart beating. That would have been the 'natural' thing to do. But, we were in love, and that had somehow made a way for us to coexist so near one another. Loving her felt even more natural than destroying her.
Love.
The word alone made me melt. Knowing she felt for me as I did for her – even if she didn't know it – compelled me to be willing to do anything to win her affection!
"Just spit it out please," Alice said as she tapped her foot against the floor impatiently.
"Are you really going to make me ask, Alice?"
"I don't want you to just ask, dear brother. I want you to beg!"
I looked at her pleadingly.
"On your knees, too," she tacked on.
I would do what I had to do to be my very best today. That's the sum of it. I don't care who makes fun of me for it. Anyone would have done what I was about to do if they were as in love as I was.
I had decided that this was the day to ask Bella out. I knew it would be crazy, but since I'm going to be following her until she meets someone someday, well… why can't that someone be me? The only problem is that I have no experience in this department. Add to that the fact that Bella has a long track record of saying no to guys who asked her out. Nothing made me as nervous as visualizing the possibility of rejection. I've never opened myself up like this before. I've never made myself vulnerable to anyone.
I really had no choice but to turn to the only member of my family who would be willing to help me without laughing at me for the rest of eternity. Plus, Alice could know what might come of things. She was a valuable resource when it came to matters of this sort.
I slunched onto one knee and then bent the other as well. I clasped my hands together tightly and raised them toward her amused face as I lowered my head.
"Alice…"
"Yeeeeesssss?"
"Alice, I am scum. I am lower than scum. I am pond scum. Will you please help me win the heart of Bella Swan?"
"Oh, Edward, I thought you would never ask! Of course I will help you bait and catch my future sister! First things first, though. Pick a different shirt."
"I'm going to wear my favorite shirt today. It's my most impressive one and it shows off…"
"Do you want my help or not? Just do as I tell you. Pick a different shirt, Edward. You'll see why later." She chuckled to herself. "Come with me. I will tell you what you need to know."
...
The rest of the morning was spent receiving lessons from Alice on the art of asking a girl out. She was very specific on the do's and don't's. I decided to drive Alice to school and leave the others to ride in Rosalie's car today. I wasn't planning on coming home tonight anyway.
"Are you really going to go to Port Angeles, Edward?" Alice seemed to be looking at me like I was a pathetic puppy. But I didn't mind the expression. After all, she was right.
"Of course I am going. I want to make sure that she is safe. Angela might be all for wholesome fun, but Jessica will probably try to talk them into doing something stupid. I won't make my presence known. I'm just there for back up, in case something terrible should happen. I know you think I'm paranoid, and that's fine. Whatever. I just don't want to take any unnecessary risks. Nobody can protect her the way that I can."
Alice gave me a serious look as if she wanted to debate some great matter in her head, but was unwilling to think freely in my presence. Just then, I saw a flash of a shadow running and of a loud thundering clamor and a pair of deep chocolate eyes- their familiar beauty warped by terror.
"Alice! What have you seen?"
"Do not dislike me, brother. But I will not say."
I felt like pulling the car over and waiting until I could grind the facts out of her.
"Don't bother pulling over, Edward. Just trust me that everything will… turn out."
"Turn out? Does that mean that everything will be fine? Does that mean that she will be safe?! My God, Alice, if anything ever happened to her, you know I am done for, don't you? You do, right?"
"I wasn't asking if you were going to Port Angeles so that I could make fun of you. I was making sure you would be there."
"Be there for what, Alice? What is going to happen?"
"I already told you as much as I am willing to say."
The rest of the ride to school was somber. I felt paranoid and wondered if I could somehow manage to talk Bella out of her weekend getaway. There were too many unknowns, and that meant that this was all just too risky. I replayed in my head the few short seconds that Alice revealed. I tried to recall any details that might be useful. The shadow, the sound… Bella's face. Every time I saw those desperate, vulnerable eyes, I felt torn apart and outraged.
How would I have managed to talk her out of going off with her friends? She was not the kind of person to abandon them at the mere request of some boy she hardly knows.
I determined that all I could really do is follow her there and be ready for anything. Nothing and no one would stand a chance against what I would conjure up if they even dared to look at her wrong at this point. I can't lose her. She is my world now.
...
All morning long I overheard the whisperings of gossiping girls. Apparently, word had gotten out that Bella and I had jipped school together yesterday.
The rumor mill was churning a classic batch of they made out in his car, and they have been secretly dating for the last month, and her dad is considering signing legal papers that would make her Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's foster child. Each of the rumors was preceded by an I heard, but never did anyone cite a source from which they may have received the news. All in all: classic high school-level gossip.
When the rumors finally circulated their way to Mike's ears, every curse word and combination of curse words were being hurled at a mental picture of me. Funny – I don't remember looking so awful in real life. I guess his perception of me was slightly skewed due to his raging jealousy. I rather enjoyed that.
Actually, what I enjoyed even more were his fantasies of dragging me out to the school's courtyard and slamming me into the benches and tables. Yeah right! He could dream. But he had no idea what he would be inviting to take a punch back at him. What an idiot. A part of me wished he would take a swing! A part of me wanted to tear him to shreds!
...
"Go on Edward. You have to make a move sometime today if you're going to ask her out before the day is over," Alice encouraged.
"Bet'cha ten grand he wets his little man-panties and runs off with his tail between his legs," Jasper whispered to Emmett.
It stung a little that Emmett didn't take the bet. Uhh! Did everyone think I couldn't do this?
"You can do this, Edward," Alice soothed. She turned to the guys and gave them a playful wink. "I'll take that bet, Jazzy, honey."
"I don't know, sugar lips. I would feel awful bad stealing away money from a beautiful lady like yourself."
Emmett laughed and Alice reached out her hand to shake Jasper's.
"It's alright, Jazzy. I won't feel bad when I do in fact take your money."
His goofy grin changed to a straight line. He could feel that she was completely serious. Apparently, Jasper will owe Alice ten thousand dollars. That gave me a little courage. I was glad to see that he would be paying for his douchebaginess.
I took a deep breath. I don't know why. It's not like I needed the air. It simply felt like instinct. I knew I would need to get to her before she sat at her table. It would be rude of me to pull her away from her friends.
As soon as Angela left Bella and Jessica to claim their usual table I made my move. I got up and headed straight for her. I could feel people staring at me as I approached her. I was less than a foot away and I couldn't think of anything to say.
Hello Bella. You are the love of my life. Will you go out with me? No. Too forward. Bella, hey. I was wondering, since you eat, if I can take you to get some dinner sometime? What a stupid thing to even think about saying. No. Isabella Swan: will you please do me the honor of allowing me to pick you up in my car and escort you to a restaurant of your choosing? No. Too formal.
As I was standing there, thinking of how to ask her out without slaughtering a cow about it, she turned around. Before I could open my mouth to say anything, she pushed a plate of pizza and a bowl of ice cream all over me. A bottle of lemonade bottle hit the floor and rolled away somewhere.
Her beautiful eyes went wide.
"Hey, Edward! You're not doing a very good job, buddy," Jasper laughed in his head at me. "Looks like I just saved ten grand, huh? Too bad. Maybe you should just sit this one out and leave mackin' on the ladies to the men around here."
"You can still save the day, bro!" Oh, this should be rich. Here comes the ancient wisdom of Emmett Lacking-Ordinary-Quickness-of-Mind Cullen. "Just rip the buttons off your shirt, take it off, and show her your muscles like you did last night! It's worth a shot."
"You're doing fine, Edward." Alice was probably just being optimistic.
I wondered if maybe my brothers were right. I wondered if I was just plain hopeless at this. But then I saw a flash one of Alice's vision, and I could see Bella sitting with me, smiling. This gave me the courage to move forward with my awkward, not-well-thought-out plan.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you standing there," Bella sputtered.
She really was just too cute.
I smiled warmly at her. It felt like the natural thing to do. She was obviously embarrassed, and I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.
Then she dropped her tray on the ground and cringed at the loud bang it made against the cafeteria floor. She was so precious in that moment that I could have eaten her up. Not literally, of course. I had already established that I would never do that. But she was just so beautiful when blush grazed against every bit of her perfect features the way it was.
"It's okay, Bella," I promised. There was no reason for her to feel embarrassed. After all, I had been the one standing behind her trying to figure out how to beg her to go out with me. And I have to admit, I can be rather stealthy. None of this was her fault.
She grabbed a handful of napkins off of Jessica's tray and started wiping me off.
It's okay if you want to throw food at me, Bella, as long as you'll be mine forever. And by the way, I laid in bed with you last night and you ripped the buttons off of my shirt then, so that makes two shirts you've disabled. Not that I mind. I will gladly give you all of my shirts if you will just spend time with me. How's next Saturday night for you? No. Too creepy.
"Oh, here, I can do that," I said, taking the napkins. "I was actually just coming to see if you would like to sit with me today?"
"Sure. Where's your table?"
I scanned the room for an empty one. There was no way I was taking her back to the usual Cullen tree house of horrors, where Emmett would tell her jokes about my stalking her, Jasper would probably try to take a swipe at her, Rose would verbally bitch-slap her to death, and Alice would try to take her shopping. Uhh.
"Over there."
Thank goodness there was an empty table in the corner that was large enough to give her some comfortable space, but small enough to say you're not invited should anyone try to come up and interrupt us. Like Mike, for instance.
I loaded up her tray with food that wasn't plastered all over my shirt while trying to think of something to say for the sake of small talk. When we got to our table, I said the first thing that came to mind.
"So, you're from Phoenix?"
"Um, no. I mean, yeah..." she began as she explained that Forks was her original home.
I hung on every word she spoke, making sure to catalog every little detail to search for meaning between the lines she was giving me. Okay, so she was originally from this little town. Her parents were divorced, which was already apparent, but she called them by their first names.
"Hey, didn't you get anything to eat," she asked all of a sudden.
Yeah, I slaughtered a deer earlier, so I'm pretty full.
"No."
I felt a little exposed now, and wasn't sure how to proceed. The moment was beginning to hinge between awkward and perfectly fine.
"Hey, Edward! Edward!" Emmett was chuckling and I knew he had to be cooking up something stupid in that five-year-old brain of his. He must have thought he was a comedian. "Tell her that your dinner is sitting right in front of you!"
I shook my head. What an idiot.
"I'm on a special diet," I said, hoping she wouldn't ask for any specific details. "So how are you liking Forks, then, compared to Sunny Arizona?"
There. That ought to patch things up well enough. Her face lit up at the thought of the sunny state she left behind, and we could hopefully just put the 'Edward doesn't eat ever' thing behind us.
Edward, you stupid… [Insert every curse word in the urban dictionary].
I couldn't hear anything Bella was saying. It was hard enough to concentrate on anything with my brothers in my head, but now Mike Newton had to join the party.
"I think your friend, Mike, over there is about to hit the roof." Or hit me. I'd like to see him try. I'll push him through a freaking wall.
I knew Mike was already pissed off at me as it was, thanks to Bella and my little rendezvous yesterday afternoon. It's not like he could possibly get any more pissed… could he?
I put on my friendliest die Mike smile as I lifted my hand to wave at him. It was really difficult to not flip him off instead.
Bella's face went tense with worry.
"Don't make it any worse," she pleaded. "He won't leave me alone. It's not my fault, and I know I'm going to be in trouble with Jessica about it later."
I felt bad for her. Since the day she got here, every boy in the school has been having wet dreams about her throughout their classes. They were a bunch of pigs. Of course, I shouldn't be the one to dispense judgment about their thoughts, I suppose, if I were to be fair. I've had plenty of fantasies myself, some even more piggish than theirs. And, I have to admit that no one else has gone so far as to stalk her. No one else was planning on following her an hour out of town for the weekend because they couldn't suffer to live without her for three days. But still, my case was an exception. It was no longer just a matter of seeing her every day. Now there was her safety to consider.
Her concern for upsetting her friends was so genuine and so pure. She was so attractive, and I couldn't help but notice the way she was biting her bottom lip just right, and the way her chest was heaving as her heartbeat thrummed.
I wanted to comfort her.
"Hey, it's okay you know. I can see why all the guys are hot on your trail."
What the heck was that? I can see why all the guys are hot on your trail? I must have sounded like such a pigheaded beast! But since I opened the can of worms, might as well use this magical opportunity as the time to ask her out. Yeah, Cullen, that's logic if I ever heard it. Man, I was such a mess!
"You know, Bella," I offered. What was I going to say? I didn't have a plan with which to move forward. Oh, who cares anymore? Just roll with it! "If you want them to leave you alone, you could just go to the dance with me. I'll make sure they stay away from you." So far away, in fact. And if they come near you, there will be at least four walls to slam them into.
"I would like to go with you, Edward."
Mission accomplished.
"But…"
But?
"But I can't 'cause you're a total creepy stalker asshole," Jasper chortled.
I shot him a menacing look before turning my attention fully to the process of being humiliated.
"I will be in Seattle that evening."
Seattle? Really? I thought that was just a ploy to let the others down with tact. The others. Now I'm one of them. One of the many creepers she's said no to.
"But, I could take a rain check?"
"Yeah?"
A rain check! She was just feeling obligated to stick to her story so that she wouldn't hurt any of the other boys' feelings. I could appreciate that. She was really too kind to them. And if she was willing to take a rain check then that meant that she wasn't planning on leaving Forks immediately.
"Yeah," she said.
So Seattle was code for I said I would be out of town. I could play that game. I wanted to ask her out, but on a night when she hadn't already "committed" to be anywhere else.
"So when will you not be in Seattle then?"
If she had already turned others down for any certain night, I would make sure to work around her Bella-is-kind-to-retards-like-Mike-and-Tyler schedule.
"Any other night than next Friday."
Hmm. Then it occurred to me. Maybe if I asked her to prom before anyone else had the chance to be turned down, then she would go with me!
"Okay then. How about prom? Will you be in Seattle then?"
"Actually, I think I will be."
Damn! Someone had already gotten to her then. Or was it that she wasn't planning on staying in this part of the country long enough to make it to prom?! Or, she was just trying to avoid dances? I would have to check to be sure.
"What night is prom again?"
"Umm, I think it's Friday the…"
It was probably the latter. She just didn't want to socialize at school functions. But she would look so beautiful in a dress and I would have the opportunity to glide her across the dance floor and I just couldn't miss out on seeing her so lovely.
"Nope. I think you will be able to go after all. Prom is on a Saturday night."
But prom is too far away for our first date. It would have to be sooner than that for me.
"But, if prom is too far away for you, I guess I could always ask you out for next Saturday?" Since this Saturday you will be in Port Angeles. And little do you know, so will I. Stalking you. And making sure trouble doesn't find you. Because I would do anything for you. Because I love you. And because I don't think I have the strength to stay away from you anymore.
"I guess you could."
Hint taken, Bella, my love.
"Are you sure you will be in town, though?" I couldn't help but tease her a little.
"I'm pretty sure. But if someone doesn't ask soon, I might extend my stay in Seattle."
"Well then, Bella Swan. Will you go out with me next Saturday night?"
"Let me check my schedule…"
I held completely still… waiting patiently for the final yes to seal the deal.
"Yes, Edward. I think next Saturday will do just fine."
I felt the grin all over my face. She returned my smile, and she was so beautiful.
"Whoooo! I just got me ten grand," Alice squealed into Jasper's ear.
When the bell rang to signal the end of our lunch period, I walked Bella to class. I carried her things. That ignited a lot of unhatched rumors. People's minds were swimming with the news that Bella and I were an item. Not that I minded. I was hoping that she might actually consider making that rumor the truth.
Through the hallway and in the Biology classroom, Mike was as crabby as ever in his mind. He kept picturing himself with Bella instead of her being with me, and he got a little graphic for my taste. I just wanted to kick him in the teeth for thinking the things he thought. He even started whispering under his breath about how he would steal her away from me. Yeah, like he stood a chance! He was never the one to lie next to her in her bed. His lips have never pressed softly against hers. Hey Mike: undressing her in your mind isn't the same as in real life, you stupid imbecile!
To complicate matters all the more, Jessica kept sneaking glances at our lab table. She was hoping that now that I had finally asked a girl out that it would generate a trend. Sorry, but no. The only one I would ever be interested in for the rest of eternity is Bella Swan. I knew that Jessica would be jealous of Bella throughout the duration of the weekend, and I feared all of the garbage she might put Bella through.
And on top of all of this, Mr. Banner wheeled in a TV on a cart and turned the lights off. Lovely. Sex Ed Day.
After the lights were out, it wasn't the lions on the screen that was caused my slight panting problem. It was the girl sitting next to me.
My mind kept wandering back to last night when we were alone in the dark. I thought of her lips and her hair and her skin and her pulse and her panting and her sweet words. I remembered her eyes open as she journeyed somewhere between Sleep and Awake. I relived our bodies sliding over one another and the warm heat rising off of her as she tore the buttons off of my shirt. I summoned the feelings of pressing my entire body against hers. It was just a matter of hours ago. And it would just be a matter of hours until we were together again.
I lifted my hand to run the tips of my fingers down her hair. I'm not sure what came over me, but I couldn't resist the temptation to touch her, even in such a public place. She was never aware of my caress, but Mike was. He looked up and witnessed the act just as it happened. I stared at him coldly, inwardly daring him to say something about it. I knew my expression must have scared him because he didn't look back again.
I placed both of my hands on the top of the table I shared with Bella, just to be sure I wouldn't make a move like that again. I couldn't stop remembering our bodies moving together just the night before. The tension was agonizing and I would have given anything in that moment to be alone with her in that room, and on top of that table. With the thoughts that came next, the only thing that kept me from scraping away the top of the lab table with my finger nails was the disgusting malarkey the other students were summoning up. Sex was the nature of the video as well as the nature of every adolescent around me in that room. The girls kept picturing me all over them in their fantasies. And yet, that wasn't half so alarming as the boys having fantasy-intercourse with Bella. The girls, at least, kept it to kissing. The boys, however, were full out atrocious. They brought up pornographic images of themselves defiling the woman I loved.
I stared at the clock above the board, trying to block out everything that was on everyone's minds while mentally counting backward to the second I could book it out of there.